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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.56157803 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Need some fun reading material. Dumping my stash.

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>> No.56158003

The best.

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>> No.56160947

I have quite a few greentexts saved and will post sporadically throughout today. I am pretty busy and phoneposting, so I may repost some things others have already posted. Sorry.

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>> No.56161121

Fresh of the presses

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>> No.56161300

REEEEEEEEEEEEE, fucking cease posting the inferior screencap. Not only it's split into two images, it's actually missing an important segment.

>> No.56161334

>Keep your eyes out for Nothing, and remember that Anybody could be armed and dangerous.
I read it in Nielsen's voice and it makes me cry laughing every time. F

>> No.56161617

I love a happy ending

>> No.56162235

I must know more. This is great.

>> No.56162271


>Autismo the Wise

Fucking lol

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>> No.56164774

Just now screencapped this from a different thread.

>> No.56164826

Updated. Didn't see this other part at first.

>> No.56164995

...so who was the real murderer?

>> No.56165230


>> No.56165492

Nice. Just nice. That's the kind of evil I adore.

>> No.56166492

Does anyone have the green text of the guy who tries to seduce his DM’s girlfriend and it’s slowly revealed that the OP is actually incredibly creepy and the DM is a total bro?

>> No.56166569

>tries to seduce his DM’s girlfriend
>slowly revealed that the OP is actually incredibly creepy
That sounds like the revelation is in the premise.

>> No.56166595

Are you talking about this one?

>> No.56166825

Yes! Thanks

>> No.56167640

holy shit

>> No.56167653

>Nobody posted Bikers Save Christmas yet
Worst thread.

>> No.56167677

Just gonna dump a bit while I'm here.

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>> No.56168308

What a queer. Thank god that this is made up and nobody is actually like this.

>> No.56168382

Jesus dick that one made me smile. I hope anon and his group had fun with that campaign.

>> No.56169834

That one was certainly interesting

>> No.56169958

Does anyone have the greatest of the female player of the group getting fooled into sucking off the group because of their "house rules"?

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>> No.56170197

I have no words

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>> No.56170875

GUYS! What's that one story where a person has to go into a hut to see a blind person in it with bones lining the rooms and as soon as someone enters the hut it closes behind them and acid starts to fill the room? I CAN'T FIND IT.

>> No.56171025

Also, what's that one story where all the adventurers are lead to the same place only for zombies controlled by extremely minor deities trying to get into the world converge on the party? I can't find that one either.

>> No.56171707

Best read i've had so far

>> No.56171793

that's great

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>> No.56173162

nice css

>> No.56173194

requesting the story of the three man party that had like 80 characters die before level 2

>> No.56173207


>> No.56173358


My fucking god. Just imagining this shit had me in stitches.

>> No.56173522

You mean All Guardsmen Party?

>> No.56173535

Yeah, this definitely happened.

>> No.56173587

I am still among you, though less so these days. The seven year anniversary draws near.

Seven years. Seven years since I scribbled this little post, and it has enraptured you all. I love hearing stories about how Los Tiburon has touched your lives. That I have given a gift to so many is my life's greatest achievement.

Would a return to the ring please /tg/? Or should I remain silent, and forever remain a hero etched into the halls of history?

>> No.56173605

I'd like you to know that I started playing tabletop role-playing games because of you after I ended up in tg by mistake one day and it was the first thing I read, thanks man.

>> No.56173704

That's awesome, my dude. For real, you have no idea how much that means to me. Los Tiburon's greatest ideal was to spur ordinary men into action with nothing but the belief that they can be heroes of their own world.

So continue, muchacho! Write stories, save damsels, kidnap princesses! For even if you are to be the villain, be a villain with all your might! It takes the truly brightest of heroes to fell the fullest of villains. So be you a rúdicos or a tecnicos, don your mask, and fight on!

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>> No.56173826

Fucking lucky 7 trips of best story! This is amazing, and god damn if it didn't give me feels.

>> No.56173886

Souce on the threads?

>> No.56174289

>> No.56174390

If you're talking about what I think you're talking about then I've never seen in on 4chan, but it sounds like the SilverClawShift Campaign Archives on GiantInThePlayground. The one where the vestiges were getting loose that started with a fight against some alien-esque monsters in defense of an town on an island?

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>> No.56174759

checked and also i haven't seen this one yet, not bad anon

>> No.56174895

This was a fun one to read

>> No.56174903

Umm.. may have to open in another tab

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>> No.56175391

someone please post the story.
I am not absolutely sure what was it about. I think there was something about a player playing a harpy (or some race that can fly) and the Dm keept comming with bullshit excuses and something with lightning. And in the end tried to kill the flying player but he had lightning resistance.

>> No.56175517

I'm pretty sure it was fake but the reactions from everyone else was priceless. A mix of concerned and horny replies were a pinnacle of it.

>> No.56175606

I have the tales of Eldarboo. Will be in several posts, sorry, don't know how to make one giant image.

>> No.56175613

Second part

>> No.56175621

Third and final

>> No.56177634

Does anyone happen to have a screencap of the time that one of the spam bots began to develop sentience?

>> No.56177861

I ran a murder mystery game for Call of Cthulhu and the only reason they figured out who the killer was, was because there was a character playing a butler who had 90% in tailoring.

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>> No.56178364

>Hey man I can see you had fun writing your backstory, but I'm a lot cooler than you and my storytelling is so much so Imma just add some more bits in to make you the laughing stock of the party

GMs like that are pure FUCKING CANCER. All my fucking hate.

>> No.56178436

Here's one I really like. Part 1

>> No.56178457

And part 2

>> No.56178477

And part 3. I'm glad we have had writefags like this. They make up for a lot of fun.

>> No.56178640

Eventhough it is a NAT 20 story, I still liked it.

>> No.56178744

I don't even get this, how does putting the ring inside a horse make it belong to no one? How does the ring belonging to no one make mordor any less dangerous? This is "why didn't the eagles just take them to mount doom" levels of stupid.

>> No.56179923


i suppose the stories are interesting enough, but something about the tone and meter of the writing irritates me.

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>> No.56180009

Really? How so?

>> No.56180070

call it petty, but the way that the writing seems to lack a consistent flow from clause to clause and has far too many spelling mistakes for my liking irks me

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>> No.56181578


Seriously, this creeped me out a lot.

>> No.56181662


Remain silent, feed the legends.

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>> No.56182357

I got you senpai.

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>> No.56182552

not really a greentext but it was a good moment in the AoS general

>> No.56182655

I needed that

>> No.56182661

that's kinda hot.

>> No.56182896

I love you too a..anon kun.

>> No.56183168


All I can think about is Mac and Cheese now. Like, good mac and cheese, with Gouda and gruyere. And mushrooms.

>> No.56183629

What the hell

I'm both vaguely disgusted and aroused.

>> No.56184484

A return? The legend out of retirement, a promissing sucessor or perhaps just a nice story by the fire?

>> No.56185170


>> No.56185419

>Character is forced to kill a teammate and himself instantly

There's nothing funny about that, it's just stupid

>> No.56185555


yeah this story has both a nat 1 and a nat 20 in it. My rule of thumb is that if the story has to include die rolls to seem coherent it's a shit story

>> No.56186225

That hurt my head to read

>> No.56186696

thank you for reminding me anon holy shit

>> No.56186738

>the youtube link is real
>she commented that she has a girlfriend who has MORE DILDOES
Fucking /tg/, I come here to learn about ttrpgs not new forms of sexual addiction and horse butthole ketchup dispensers

>> No.56188169

>And they were all nearly torn asunder by dragon dildos
I'll admit I thought this story was going in a different direction.

>> No.56189053


I mean sometimes they help(why did my character get his shoulder dislocated when he fucked up a lance attack on a diving pegasus? Nat 1. But it still makes SENSE without that context), and make it more clear the DM isn't being intentionally dickish, but you shouldn't NEED it.

>> No.56190173

that makes me smile thanks anon

>> No.56190478

Oh my God

>> No.56190901

That alantutorial line killed me

>> No.56191096

Mentioning a dice roll is a way to build suspense.
>X attempted to complete Y
>He rolled and it was [bad]
>[GM's description of what went wrong goes here]
It also probably helps people feel "involved" by maintaining it relating to the tabletop format. It's not quite different from the cuts in TV to a foot about to slip before actually showing the character fall.

On the other hand, maybe I'm just bored and felt like playing Devil's Advocate.

>> No.56191115


Nah, notice the dice roll mentions are always for 1 and 20. No one ever mentions "yeah I rolled a 13 so this happened"

That's because the people who write these stories get massive boners over having 5% chance to punch a mountain in half or whatever dumb shit.

>> No.56191132


>Knock Knock
>Who's there?
>Not Suzy

10/10 gets me every time.

>> No.56191435

Hate it. Why did there have to be a happy ending with a marriage proposal.

>> No.56191506

>implying that's not the happiest ending
Take your redpill and shove it up your ass.

>> No.56191960

fucking christ.

>> No.56192091

Reminder that this is technically a meta thread, as thus should be on /qa/.

A thread about threads is meta, no matter how old the threads discussed are.

>> No.56192216

Holy shit I remember this. OP was so delusional I actualy feared for the gf

>> No.56192300

>thankfully, rather than going the Denko route.
You wanna be worried for a girl because of a delusional guy? Find the "Denko" story. It's a doozy.

>> No.56192344

Fuck off, questfag.

>> No.56192375

Nah couldn't care less about quests but rules are rules mate.

>> No.56192441

10/10 story

>> No.56192447

>whose is bad cop and who the good cop?
>I am
Gets me every time

>> No.56192712


I kinda wish there was a followup, but I'm happy to imagine it.

>> No.56192904

And here I thought we wouldn't be cheering for thinly veiled kiddy porn fetish for once.

>> No.56193000

Anyone has the one where the dm tricks his player into willingly unsealing a demon?

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>> No.56193911

Anyone have Fifty Decks Deep/How MTG Threads Look To Roleplayers? I have been looking for a whilr and can't find the damn thing.

>> No.56194021

Now I want a terrible threat to come along every 100 years when a comet comes around again.

Shame my game has too many threats already-



Right, okay, yeah, the ghostly lich lord in the setting officially stored his soul in a passing comet. His ethereal body is actually just a projection. And now I know what his ultimate goal is- revenge against the sun.

Man, the fact that this makes good sense in the context of the setting is hilarious. Mythic fantasy is great.

>> No.56195395

>Tfw people still posting the screencap I made

And if stalker anon is still around and watching this thread; I'm still laughing at you.

>> No.56197298

Holy fuck i want to use this

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>> No.56198658

Always makes me laugh.

>> No.56198704

I've got a couple.

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>> No.56199281

I'm aware there's a third thread, but it didn't get very long since people doubted the veracity of it.

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>> No.56199332

This is my new favorite of all time.

>> No.56199342

I want to join anon's group

>> No.56200133

Isn't that just the two guys from that Terry Pratchett book about the newspaper?

>> No.56200193

Yes, that's the joke.

>> No.56200654

not that I blame the guy for complaining, but frankly that sounds hilarious and awesome. I might have to do that in a game.

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>> No.56201645

What the fuck why am I laughing so hard

>> No.56201734

> Playing a cleric in a group of four, with a mage, a knight, and a ranger.
> Knight and mage players are hardcore, but ranger's player is different.
> He's maybe 11 years old, shy, reserved, quite nerdy, but pleasant.
> Our DM encouraged him to outfit the ranger in metal armor so he can survive.
> This kid really has his emotions in the game, at nearly Marcie/Black Leaf levels.
> He picked a ranger because he wanted to fight, but he also wanted a dog.
> DM, who I will call Wade, would only allow it with ranger so he could buff the dog a bit.
> Fighting through some catacombs, we're doing really well.
> Looted magic weapons, and mage has found a wand of fireballs.
> One day the kid calls Wade, he can't come because he sassed his mom.
> We're fighting some intelligent spiders that can cast magic (araenae?)
> Spider gets initiative, casts an unknown spell
> Mage sees the webs, uses his wand of fireballs, rolls good damage dice.
> The spell was a magic reflection spell.
> Mage's fireball hits the party, but the ranger's player isn't here.
> Wade rolls the save for the ranger and dog, and fails badly.
> The dog takes four times its hp in damage and is burnt to a cinder.
> Everyone starts yelling.

>> No.56201755

> Knight is blaming mage because he can't melee the spiders in flaming webs anyway.
> Mage is blaming Wade because he didn't DM-fiat-Sanctuary the dog out of trouble
> Wade says he couldn't because the kid wanted the dog to fight too and it already hit once.
> I ask Wade to just fudge the dog's save.
> Wade says he can't because the dog would need a nat 20,
> which would cause the wand to explode,
> expending all charges in a 100+ dice fireball that would kill us all!
> (That was info we weren't supposed to know.)
> I ask Wade to scrap the encounter and pretend it never happened.
> He says he can't because the fight started when the kid was here.
> Mage asks Wade to pretend the dog wasn't in the blast radius
> Wade says he has to be because there was no other place for him to stand.
> Finish up the fight, knight and ranger cut down everything, I heal, but can't rez dog.
> We talk about cancelling the campaign.
> Wade is starting to sweat.
> Apparently this kid calls him up and talks to him about his character all the time.
> He wrote stories in class about his character and this dog, some just for fun.
> So the kid will be sad whether Wade cancels the campaign or not.
> We knew this kid had named the dog after his own rl dog, because he told us.
> We were really worried.
> What we didn't know, until the mom told Wade later, was that the dog had died.
> And this was how the kid "kept the dog alive" so they could still "play"...
> We show up next week and Wade's eyes are red, he can't even look at the kid.
> Kid asks where the dog is on the tactical map.
> Nobody says anything.

>> No.56201777

> I say, "he got scared and ran away."
> Silence.
> Kid says, "I can find him, I have Tracking"
> Mage's player has his face in his hands.
> I suddenly say, "Yeah! Me too!"
> Wade's looking at me like spiders are coming out of my eyes.
> My fat Friar Tuck cleric does NOT have Tracking... but he DOES have Bluff.
> I hold my character sheet up in front of Wade's face and point to Bluff.
> "Ah, yes, Tracking," he says.
> Wade hands us each a d20.
> This is bad. Kid rolls good but isn't finding tracks, I'm rolling poorly and finding tracks.
> Fucking fudge it Wade, jeez
> I lead us back to town, to a farmhouse
> I know this farmhouse had dogs because one bit me once.
> "Oh look, here's the dog," says Wade. "He's happy to see you."
> Kid doesn't say anything. We are holding our breath.
> Finally he says, "I think the dog should stay here on the farm. Can I do that?"
> Wade says, "Sure."
> Afterwards, me and the kid are waiting outside. He is unusually quiet.
> All of a sudden he says, "I know you don't have Tracking, because the rules say you can't."
> I about crap my pants. Can't even speak.
> Then he says, "I can't keep [dog's name] forever."
> I open my eyes real wide so the tears go into the bottom lid.
> He didn't speak again, got in the car and went home.
> Found out that Wade and Mage felt so bad that they drank that night til they passed out.
> But the kid came back to the next session like nothing happened.
> He played the rest of the year and was just awesome.
> He came to the game as a kid, but walked out of it every bit a man.

>> No.56201978

> He came to the game as a kid, but walked out of it every bit a man.
Are you a pedo?

>> No.56202203

Fug, reminds me of that WHFRPG story where the guy's little sister killed his years-old character.

>> No.56202490

>Attack these heroes

>> No.56203423

To be fair, under all the fetish stuff that's a very lovely and cute idea for a couple of stupidly powerful evil spellcasters

>> No.56203585

Toss out some key words.

>> No.56204418


>> No.56204487

Can you post it?

>> No.56204654

>> No.56204746

this story deserves these trips.
12/10, right in the feels. Thank you orc-bro

>> No.56204789


what the fuck

>> No.56204930

The fuck happened to the poster

>> No.56205230

The Baker's Dozen is probably my personal favorite.

>> No.56205249

If a sequel was ever written with The Butcher and his dark chefs, then I never saw it.

>> No.56205263

Some time later a taste based system came up.

I think I just really like the ones that center around food.

>> No.56205399

>Decent green text story
>/b/ tier witty comment

>> No.56205456

Huh. Weird to think someone actually saved my screen cap.

I don't think we ever got a reply for what the hell happened to him.

>> No.56205458

fug. I need more of that. a comic, manga, novel. I don't care. need more of this.

>> No.56205541

It looks like someone fed a bunch of that guy stories to a bot and copy pasted what it spat out

>> No.56205590


>> No.56206083

honestly what did he do wrong. You can't look at a girl or compliment her, and if you do you're patronised and told to "learn boundaries", then excluded from everything by everyone?

he was being an awkward guy with a crush, and for that they talk to the store manager and agree to have him banned "if they want". seems a bit ridiculous huh.

>> No.56206131

You mean this one?

>> No.56206144

>> No.56206200

Looking at a girl and complimenting her is fine.

Drooling over her then stuttering out "nice abs" when she stretches during a game session that is run by her boyfriend is creepy. Stalking her to a game night in a public place because you got the boot from the group is even worse.

If the store manager was willing to ban him, there is more than AutismAnon was saying.

>> No.56206468

>5th Level Cleric
>Cure Deadly Wounds

>> No.56206553


is that even a spell? Isn't it light-moderate-serious-critical?

>> No.56206555

check suptg

>> No.56206612

here's the other side to the story

also, anyone have the one where the party goes to a town and everything there is mimics

>> No.56206636

i wonder what site it was, would be cool to check out.

>> No.56206817


forgot the pic

>> No.56207492

this poster unwittingly created a Shokugeki no Soma TTRPG

>> No.56207993

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>> No.56208347

Sweet lord, I had a coughing fit from laughing so much.

>> No.56208413

the best

>> No.56208441

>> No.56208541

You know, this got me thinking.
This is classic anime concept where something mundane is taken to the absolute extreme.
But the main appeal is not in ensuing comedy, drama or epic showdowns, but in the simple fact that characters have this unwavering conviction. I'm not talking about vomit-inducing cliche of "you just need to believe" or something like that.
Characters have absolute faith in their chosen profession, and while it is expressed in the most non-realistic (and entertaining) way, you have to admit that such faith is to be admired. Envied, even.
I know I want to have such conviction, such absolute certainty that gets you up every morning, that makes you strive to be better, to push the boudaries. This inner strength that gives you the ability to ignore everyone who laughs at you, while not being deaf to constructive criticism. This... intergity that allows you to threat your chosen profession as Serious Business, to pour everything you have in it. And be happy about that.
But I guess my worthlessness limits me to overanalysing stories on /tg/.

>> No.56208690

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>> No.56209334

>> No.56209370

That whole thread was just amazing

>> No.56209375

>doubted the veracity of it
>implying the first two threads were genuine
Just some neckbeard with too much time on his hands

>> No.56209574

>> No.56209907

>> No.56209950

As someone that has played two games of this weekly for 3 years, I have so many questions about different aspects of this story, but here it is.

>> No.56210312

Was there a sequel?

>> No.56210430

Does anyone have threadshot about a guy playing Death Grips vocalist as a bard?

>> No.56210715

I'm jetlagged as fuck and I honestly was thinking I was more fucked up than I thought. Or I was stroking out mid paragraph

>> No.56210764

That was a fun thread.

>> No.56210987

Ouw. Well, that took a bit of a dark-ish turn.

>> No.56211621

>shot a van carstein

>> No.56211755

Every time I post those caps someone seems to get inspired and do something in one of their games.

If there is, I haven't seen it.

I'd love for there to be one where they face off against the Dark Dozen, the best the best of the underworld chefs on their quest to take down The Butcher in a cook off.

>> No.56212004

Press F for Magnus

>> No.56212175

Autistic-tier garbage

>> No.56212267


>> No.56212965

>Talk about death and acceptance
It's going to be some time before she accepts how she blew one of her idol's brains out.

>> No.56213326


If nothing else, it'll motivate her to be very careful around firearms.

>> No.56214488

I think it was intentional, anon

>> No.56214552


>> No.56216567

I get that this is 4chin but you don’t always have to be any edgy fuckwad.

>> No.56217284

I can't even parse this.

>> No.56217525

I'm fucking dying

>> No.56218817


>> No.56218902


>> No.56219870

>> No.56219969

Best one

>> No.56220014

I remember being in that thread. That was on my birthday. Best birthday present ever.

>> No.56220255


>> No.56220664

>...when the time comes, I will know.
Every fucking time.

>> No.56221060

>last session involved radically altering a PC's backstory
No wonder it ended there.

>> No.56221189

I'm not buying it. He sounds like a socially anxious nerd more than anything else, and to be fair he never actually went to the game night, which was a public event.

Banning someone should be reserved for saying "gas the jews" not "n-nice abs" at a game that wasn't even AT the store. When I read the story all I see is an awkward guy whose "friends" jumped on him and booted him. I don't know if it's white knighting or the girl overreacting but I've been burnt in similar ways and i don't see how anything that was said put him in the wrong.

>> No.56221300

it stops being English after awhile

>> No.56221343


>> No.56221402

That's very creative.

>> No.56221850

>but where will I ever get a bunch of midgets to slap a minotaur in the ass?

only on /tg/

>> No.56221952

The most metal BBEG ever

>> No.56222172

I'm looking through my folder of reaction pics for one that shows pure, genuine happines, and I'm finding none.
This is a fucking awesome piece of greentext

>> No.56222273

Have you stalked a girl and hit on her despite knowing she had a boyfriend?

>> No.56222685


you're welcome.

Everyone needs more Mr Rogers reaction image.

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