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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.55905380 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Can we get a /tg/ greentext thread?

>> No.55905389

>> No.55905411

>> No.55906443

>>55905411
ruined by being an asshole shiba and not something cuter like a labrador

>> No.55906705

>> No.55906733

>>55906443
This. Though i do like the idea of a travelling tavern, make it (one if the) center(s) of the universe.

It could be called "The Obvious Sigil", its portals are everywhere, its impossible to enter the real tavern without the correct key, without it you enter a typical one room tavern with a few drunks and a large bartender. But with the key, it being the image of being thrown out of a bar, you enter something that would easily be at home in Planescape or any other setting.

Mind Flayers, trolls, awakened bears, Gith, devils, demons and a few rather bewildered Primes. The owner would enforce neutrality and house rules.

>> No.55906855

I haven't seen any other these and they're pretty good. Have a few from me.

>> No.55906876

>> No.55906902

>> No.55906913

>> No.55906932

>>55906733
>This. Though i do like the idea of a travelling tavern, make it (one if the) center(s) of the universe.
>It could be called "The Obvious Sigil", its portals are everywhere, its impossible to enter the real tavern without the correct key, without it you enter a typical one room tavern with a few drunks and a large bartender. But with the key, it being the image of being thrown out of a bar, you enter something that would easily be at home in Planescape or any other setting.
>Mind Flayers, trolls, awakened bears, Gith, devils, demons and a few rather bewildered Primes. The owner would enforce neutrality and house rules.

You literally just described the World Serpent Inn from AD&D 1E.

>> No.55907009

>>55906913
he isn't wrong though

>> No.55907383

Go to reddit if you want your epic screencaps

>> No.55907411

>>55907383
Dude relax

>> No.55907592

>>55906932
Checking it ouy now, thanks anon

>> No.55907641

>>55907592
>Checking it ouy now, thanks anon
http://www.mediafire.com/file/muh3925uv7ou2l9/Tales+of+the+Outer+Planes.pdf

Here you go

>> No.55907643

>>55907383

>> No.55907751

Does anyone have that story of the fisherman paladin who had a shitty DM that was obsessed with getting him to fall, but failed when his DM fiat 'you fall' artifact just turned him into a godly empowered mega serpent instead?

>> No.55907806

>>55907751

>> No.55908103

>> No.55908335

>>55908103
Amazing

>> No.55908423

>> No.55908438

>> No.55908444

>> No.55908459

>> No.55908480

>> No.55908502

>>55908335
And we never heard from either anon ever again

>> No.55908514

>>55908502
Speaking of

>> No.55908606

>>55908103
I dont get it, is the guy with bluehaired picture part of the group, implied by his knowledge of the campaign?

>> No.55908644

>>55905389
This right here is some fun DM work.

>> No.55908672

>>55908606
Yup. Or at least, that's what it appears to be. They ? both ran off after that

>> No.55908841

>>55908672
Ah ok, just making sure it isn't a reference to some show or movie that I haven't seen.

>> No.55909516

>>55906902
If I ever run Planescape, I'm going to have Felyndiira and Imrae send out a distress call. The only thing crazier than Australia is PCs.

>> No.55909539

>>55907643
So, did anyone ever find that Sex Slave Value Shop thing?

>> No.55909585

>>55908514
I'd like to think I would have done the same. Here's hoping that he's in a better place, fucking whatever she was.

>> No.55909646

>>55909585
Imagining I wouldn't be freaking out instead every time she would show up, I'd intentionally do the same thing if given the chance.
Seems like the perfect suicide.

>> No.55909824

>> No.55910107

>> No.55911870

>> No.55911929

>> No.55912273

>>55910107
There was a longer Pirates of the Caribbean and The Mummy from that same thread I think. I'll see if I can find them when I get back home.

>> No.55912278

>> No.55912306

>>55909539
The world will never know.

>> No.55912872

>>55912278
That is excellent, and now I want to play Simcity - Chaos edition.

I always assumed the skaven to write on parchment (that reek even worse than papermills), though.

>> No.55913152

>>55905380

>> No.55913407

>>55912273
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/45146238/

>> No.55913667

>> No.55913710

>> No.55914148

Dumping, I guess.

>> No.55914153

>>55914148

>> No.55914184

>> No.55914188

>>55905411
The goodest boy.

>> No.55914189

>> No.55914191

>>55914153

>> No.55914215

>>55914191

>> No.55914223

>>55914215

>> No.55914229

>>55914223

>> No.55914235

>>55914229

>> No.55914247

>>55914235

>> No.55914258

>>55914247
And this one is one of my top favorites.

>> No.55914272

>>55914258

>> No.55914280

>>55914272

>> No.55914291

>>55914280

>> No.55914382

>>55906913
>>55907009
There's nothing wrong with just doing storytelling or a wargame, if that's what your group is okay with.

>> No.55914451

>>55907009
It's assuming that storytelling and rules are somehow separate and opposed things and not two different axes that are only tangentially related. It's more like feet and hands.

>> No.55914516

>>55907806
I love this story every time I read it and yet it makes me angry because it's too contrived to possibly be true.

>> No.55914538

>>55908444
This reminds me of something that happened in one of my Hunter games. One of the PCs was trying to contact an NPC veterinarian in a dilapidated part of town, ended up pissing on a cat and almost dying in the subsequent fight.

>> No.55914686

>>55914382
There is however a lot wrong with claiming that your group's way is the only true way and everyone else is having badwrongfun.

>> No.55915578

got a decent number, ill dump

>> No.55915589

>>55915578

>> No.55915595

>>55915589

>> No.55915606

>>55915595

>> No.55915615

>>55915606

>> No.55915631

>>55915615

>> No.55915646

>>55915631

>> No.55915655

>>55915646

>> No.55915661

>>55906705

>> No.55915674

>>55915655

>> No.55915686

>>55915674
and that'll do for now

this one's one of my perennial favourites

>> No.55915725

>>55914686
Maybe in your case, but my group is actually good.

>> No.55915745

>>55908423
10/10

>> No.55915793

>>55908514
Right in the fucking feels

>> No.55915905

>>55908459
That anon's right. And you know who did it? William of Ockham. As in Ockham (or Occam)'s razor. That bastard. Single handedly fucked philosophy and theology.

>> No.55915936

>>55914189
I want to believe

>> No.55916040

>>55915686
I have about half of these. That's a pretty impressive collection you have for it to be that low a fraction.

>> No.55916057

>>55914258
Did the OP of this one ever come back?

>> No.55916111

>decide to run Delta Green for my group
>takes a couple weeks for everyone to get their characters & backstories in to me
>in fact everyone finally gets theirs in the day of
>start reading through them
>Marine who's platoon encountered something while on a raid in Afghanistan
>Anthropologist who figured out some monoliths mapped out something in the starry sky that moves
>Doctor who treated a bunch of injured and mentally distressed people after they saw a play
>And an FBI agent
>who's sister disappeared when he was 12
>and he's convinced something paranormal happened
>and he went to Oxford to study psychology
>and he joined the FBI to search for the truth
>at first I just read it and said "ok, that works" but something in the back of my head was bothering me
>wait
>this is fucking Fox Mulder
Anyway, we're going to see it anyone else pics up on it.

>> No.55916139

>>55916040
I've got a fair few, its true.

>> No.55916209

>>55905389
Thief was That Guy

>> No.55916678

>>55908103
Never gets old.

>> No.55916679

>>55915606
WHY IS THIS CHARMING? I NEED TO SEE THIS MADE BY PIXAR AND DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY

>> No.55916815

>>55909516
The adventure can only end with the PCs becoming honorary Australians on the grounds of being "right good cunts"

>> No.55916923

>>55906705
>amish
>calm
>polite
lol

>> No.55917398

Don't read the first post (the red one) it's full of spoilers

>> No.55917453

>> No.55917544

>>55917398
God humarntiyitity fuark yeah XDXDXDXD is such a sad power fantasy.

>> No.55917746

>>55917544
nigga, until we encounter another form of intelligent life, every sci-fi story ever will be HFY.
Even in settings where mankind loses, it's to illustrate the merits of another very human ideology, exemplified by imaginary beings; so it defends human virtues.
Heinlein? HFY
Asimov? (when he has aliens, like in some multivac stories) HFY
Frederik Pohl? Fucking HFY

When a story is shitty masturbatory drivel, it's because the execution is poor, not the concept. and GATE could have been good.

>> No.55917794

> playing 40k
> opponent rolling to hit
> ok these guys need a 3+
> ok.
> after game, won pretty handily against the guy's tyranids, I'm looking through datasheets on battlescribe
> one of the units he was rolling to hit with at 3+ actually hits on a 4+
casually mention it to him
> yeah, I know, but if you don't know the rules, that's on you.
> umm... what? so you knowingly cheated
> look man, I'm a competitive player, I'm going to push to get any advantage I can, if my opponent doesn't even know the rules, I'm going to use that.
> yeah, that's not what 'competitive' means
> whatever man, good game
> he saunters off
> look at a couple of guys standing at another table with a quizzical look
> hey man, he's a competitive player
> we all chuckle and I hang out and watch the rest of their game

>> No.55917842

>>55917746
That's not how HFY works, you fuckhead.

Asimov didn't write to jerk off about human superiority over imaginary creatures. Nor did Henlein, nor did Pohl, and all of them would have laughed at how stupid, limited, and mindless the entire concept of HFY is.

Don't try to shove good writers into your shitty half-baked writing prompt. It's an insult.

>> No.55917862

>>55917842
Then how about you read the capped story?

And if you think neither of those authors wrote stories dedicated to human cleverness, you need to reread them.

>> No.55917908

>>55917398
Alternatively, we could come from dumb masturbatory fantasies and back to reality where the moment a hypothetical intelligent alien species notices us, we aren't just going to scrape by, we're going to be utterly and completely extinct.

>> No.55917927

>>55917398
>>55917908
Forgot my image.

>> No.55917948

>>55917862
The cleverness of a certain people, not some bizarre, innate, and exclusive cleverness only exhibited by humans and by all humans.

It's less celebrating "human cleverness" and more "oh, they happened to also be human."

>> No.55917971

>>55917927
*laughs in fanatic xenophile*

>> No.55918075

>>55917927
>israelian thinks that everything in the universe is out to get him
how unsurprising

>> No.55918276

>>55918075
He's not really wrong though.

>> No.55918846

>>55913667
Sauce on the image?

>> No.55919003

>>55914451
>It's assuming that storytelling and rules are somehow separate and opposed things and not two different axes that are only tangentially related.
>axes
Storytelling is telling stories.
Rules are a tool to play a game.
They are separate things unless they are combined.
Playing role-playing games combine them.

>>55914382
>There's nothing wrong with just doing storytelling or a wargame
This true.
Storytelling is fine.
Wargaming is fine.
Roleplaying games are fine.
They are all similar, but different.

>>55914686
>There is however a lot wrong with claiming that your group's way is the only true way and everyone else is having badwrongfun.
This also very true.

>>55915725
>Maybe in your case, but my group's way is the only true way and everyone else is having badwrongfun because my group is actually good.
This is just silliness.

>> No.55919026

>> No.55919705

>>55915631
Isn't that basically The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents?

>> No.55919851

>>55917544
>STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE

>> No.55919874

>>55919851
Poor babby, did your feelings get hurt?

>> No.55919878

>>55919705
maybe: thats the only OC in the batch i dropped. can't remember how long ago i capped it and don't remember if the anon expanded further.

>>55912273
I've got three of the screencaps, I'll post 'em for you guys and gals

>> No.55919903

>>55919878

>> No.55919925

>>55919903

>> No.55919944

>>55919925
did I say three? should've said six

i don't think shoggy wrote the mummy ones, can anyone confirm?

>> No.55919970

>>55919944

>> No.55919993

>>55919970

>> No.55920012

>>55919993
thats it for the mummy. i might have the pirates one tucked away somewhere if any anon requests it.

>> No.55920103

>>55920012
That's actually not a bad idea. I'm so gonna put a needy Goddess with temper tantrum issues in my next game.

>> No.55920159

>>55920103
i've been refluffing one of my goddesses in my not!Hindu pantheon as a serious NEET with no social skills for comedy. Kinda goes with her domain of the household

>> No.55920403

>>55916209
No one asked you, nu-/tg/

>> No.55920418

>>55914191
What game was that?

>> No.55920455

>>55920418
Headpat Simulator 2017.

>> No.55920614

>>55905380
Here is something that isn't greentext. Instead it is a post that amuses me.

>> No.55920636

>>55908514
May he fuck in peace. He's amongst the stars now.

>> No.55920638

>>55920614

>> No.55920812

>>55920455
Could have been worse.
He could have been just a humble merchant

>> No.55921261

Ugh, gotta get ready for work. Have one of my favs.

>> No.55921800

>>55919026
I don't get the last one. Who's the old man meant to be?

>> No.55922098

>>55905380
The first one is not being That Guy so much as detecting a bad DM.

The second one is impossible as the wall would not hold its shape and would flow off him. He just came up with this on the shitter without thinking it all the way through and posted it to try to be funny.

>> No.55922104

>>55921800
The monk who got disappeared by the genie.

>> No.55922192

anyone have that one about a german girl, werewolves, and "stirring macaroni"?

>> No.55922229

>>55922104
Oh, right, I'm an idiot.

>> No.55922569

>>55922192
We don't talk about that.

>> No.55922647

>>55919944

The Mummy one was me too, but a lot less good since nobody else was in there and I spent 90% of it misspelling Brendan Fraiser's name.

Oh well, at least someone saved it.

>> No.55923651

>>55922647
It's all good coming from you buddy, good to see ya around

>> No.55923857

>>55913667
>Cropped pic
>reverse image searched
>took me to reddit, which took me to imgur
>full rez, but major jpeg artifacts...
>can now read artist sig in bottom corner: Aner
>with pic and name, reverse image search again
>took me to danbooru, and then to gelbooru
>gelbooru has link to artist's pixiv
Not posting the pic directly as it has nipples and I've been banned for posting porn on blueboards before.

www pixiv net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=16016600

>> No.55923969

>>55923857
You're a hero, anon.

>> No.55924104

>>55922647
hey, thanks for answering regardless. I still had fun with it

>> No.55924140

>>55922647
Your name seems familiar.

>> No.55924282

>>55924140
he's the all guardsman party guy

>> No.55924296

>>55915578
PRAISE THE VOID DRA... OMNISSIAH!

>> No.55924497

>>55924140
He's told a story or two on /tg/ before.

>> No.55924691

>>55909539
>>55912306
Hope this is the right one familam

>> No.55924716

>>55923969
It's a good pic.

>> No.55924771

>> No.55924774

>>55922647
Hurry up and finish the AGP already you're almost as bad as Alfabusa

>> No.55924862

>> No.55924938

>> No.55924955

some of the best advice I've gotten

>> No.55924994

Too many longass caps in this thread, have a short one

>> No.55925098

>>55908423

>> No.55925372

>>55924691
>JUST LIKE HOME ON PLAINS
holy fuck im crying

>> No.55926172

>>55915674
Is that Frockles aka QuestQuest aka BangQuest's work?

>> No.55926240

Not greentext, but I miss STORYTIEM

>> No.55926253

>>55926240
You notice how that sort of thing ended after the the nu/tg/ decided no one could have fun on their board anymore?

Bet you didn't.

>> No.55926417

>>55926240
>>55926253
>>>/qst/

>> No.55926449

>>55924938
Holy fuck that was amazing

>> No.55926567

>>55926417
STORYTIEM wasn't a quest, nu /tg/

>> No.55926674

>>55917948
t. xenos

>> No.55926821

>>55926172
no clue, unfortunately. i just picked it up during another anon's dump

>> No.55926901

>>55906733
>>55906932

Or the title bar of "Tales From the Floating Vagabond"

>> No.55926986

>>55907806
>>55914516
I honestly just want a copy of the homebrew rpg that was used in this.

>> No.55927053

>>55908514
It was just a normal succubus idiot. He died because he got his soul sucked out.

>> No.55927435

Alright, let me just drag out my collection...

>> No.55927456

>>55927435

>> No.55927483

>>55927456

>> No.55927501

>>55927483

>> No.55927521

>>55927501

>> No.55927537

>>55927521

>> No.55927548

>>55927537

>> No.55927562

>>55927548
And let's end my dump with a classic.

>> No.55927690

>>55905380
It's not a story but

>> No.55927707

>>55927435
HAHA HOLY FUCK THAT'S AMAZING

>> No.55927733

These aren't from /tg/, but they certainly are /tg/.

>> No.55927844

>> No.55927895

Here's a couple that were originally spawned here.

>> No.55927926

>>55912278
That is absolutely fantastic

>> No.55927943

>> No.55927960

>> No.55927982

>> No.55928004

>> No.55928021

A favorite of mine.

>> No.55928038

>> No.55928085

>> No.55928377

>>55924938
Exceptional.

>> No.55928457

>>55916679
Considering the author made an explicit hotspring scene as a followup, I doubt Pixar would want to get involved: https://pastebin.com/ifWfPD8Z

>> No.55928716

>>55917948
>humanity survives interstellar WMD after getting their shit together
>vows revenege
What's so wrong with that? What part in particular?
Humanity getting its shit together?
Humanity surviving the RKV?
Humanity getting pissed off and geared up to kick xenos ass?

I'm sorry you're such a sad, lonely cunt that you literally cannot think of groups as gestalts, and instead have to think of everyone as equally lonely individuals.

>> No.55928815

>>55927982
Oh i fucking love this

>> No.55928968

>> No.55929001

Short but sweet.

>> No.55929555

>>55915686
first time i read this i laughed my ass off and saved it, hardly giving it another thought. a while later a buddy of mine said something offhandedly about running a star trek game. weeks go by, i stumble across this while sifting through my pics out of boredom. dots start connecting and in a lonely jeffries tube in my mind a lightbulb clicks on.

since that day i've been regaling the would be DM buddy with ideas for using start trek tech in strange and unconventional ways.
and he is afraid.
still no game start in sight but i keep refining the character spawned by this amazing greentext in the hopes that one day i'll get to play him.
and on that day this i swear, i will return to post my adventures and hopefully live up to the epic greentext that gave me such a fun idea.

>> No.55929752

>>55929001

Has it really been two years?

>> No.55929925

>>55916923
I work for a group of amish for transportation. I saw two adults men go at it over a block of cheese. They are not polite.
>plus they regularly make snide comments in penn-dutch and they don't know that i understand a bit of it.

>> No.55930645

>>55924955
This is good shit.

My own personal bit:
>Always overestimate their combat skills and underestimate their puzzle solving skills.

>> No.55930910

Cabbage and physics save the day.

>> No.55931078

>>55919874
Your butthurt whining wont stop people from liking what you dont like.

>> No.55931317

>>55914258
I always wanted to play MAID, but I'm the only disgusting weeb I know, so I could never get a group, let alone someone to run it

>> No.55931814

>>55931317
Don't worry, I'm also a disgusting weeb that could never get a group to play with!
Now we can be disgusting weebs without a group to play with together!

>> No.55933266

>> No.55933451

>>55914258
Always thought MAID was a meme game, but this kind of makes me want to try it out. Sounds fun as fuck and exactly the kind of thing my group would be into.

>> No.55933725

>>55912278
I was learning to draw so I could make lewd comics about cats, but making funny comics about rats sounds fun too.

>> No.55933744

>>55931078
>hurt feefees

>> No.55933799

>>55928716
I'm sorry that you're such a pathetic, fat cunt that you literally cannot see how childish of a powerwank fantasy that is lmao

>> No.55933997

>>55924774
He may upload little but the content is god tier

>> No.55934221

>>55933799
>how childish of a powerwank fantasy
Not that anon, but the "humans get revenge" wasn't that bad.
Even the "aliens are a-scared" bit wasn't that bad as the beginning established that they were cowering, pansy nerdlings.
What got me was the post praising humanities achievements "like the galaxy had never seen before".
That part was nearly as sad and pathetic as the useless souls that wage a heartfelt jihad against anyone remotely enjoying anything slightly associated with HFY.

Besides, there's nothing wrong with childish powerwanking when it's done right.

>> No.55934689

>>55907643
I will never understand that screencap, and I was in that thread!

>> No.55934704

>>55916923
An Amish with a 'tude? where have you heard?

>> No.55935434

>>55931317
>>55931814
You would be right. Except I am also a disgusting weeb who got his shit together one evening, decided FUG THIS and got a group of fa/tg/uys together for three MAID sessions.

>> No.55935574

>>55934689
I think anon is trying to make some sort of "funny and meta" joke/commentary/trolling attempt, in which case it's a failure. That, or he's doing it to elicit some confusion, like those people who post markov chain style comments. In which case I guess it's working, but I don't see the point.

>> No.55935610

>>55934704
You know that's unheard of

>> No.55937223

>>55915686
post unnaground.jpg

>> No.55937248

>>55935610
>>55934704
They never wear buttons. They've got cool hats, though.

>> No.55937356

>>55937248
And all their homies agree they really look good in black

>> No.55938138

>>55912278
>cold-wet and hot-dark not slow-stop these post-slaves from fast-quick finish the job.
wtf I love skaven now!

>> No.55939564

surprised this one hasn't been posted yet

>> No.55939574

>>55927435
I always lose my shit at the name "Fantasy Fantasy Sports Sports". Nothing else in the cap is as funny as that.

>> No.55939932

>>55937223
and as requested, one unnaground

still not quite as good as innatubes.

>> No.55940029

>>55939932
Jesus fuck is it so complicated to screenshot something with linearity? Why does everything has to be a mess?

>> No.55940248

>>55940029
look, I didn't make the fucking thing, I just collect them

>> No.55940771

>>55911929

>> No.55941604

>>55922098
>bad DM

I thought I was the only person who felt that way about that story. Assuming it's real, which is probably isn't, the DM either knew the locket was important and is a cunt for having the thief steal it, or they didn't know the locket was important and thus are shit for not getting proper backstories from his PCs to integrate them into the world.

Either way the DM is double shit for having the thief steal random shit and not even telling him what he stole until he read his character sheet.

>> No.55942482

>>55939932
This was GOAT

>> No.55942592

>>55906733
There are a lot of these "mysterious locations that somehow pop up everywhere, including in other worlds"

>> No.55942705

>>55942592
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InnBetweenTheWorlds

>> No.55942721

>>55927960
This will always be one of my favorites.

>> No.55942799

>>55942592
Turns out they're actually a single world which spread out to exist on other worlds.

>> No.55943698

>>55913667
Does anyone still read those Storythreads? I know the guy who runs them caps everything and I assume there's some decent OC in there, but I can't personally find the energy to go sift through them for the really good ones.

>> No.55945709

>> No.55945850

>> No.55945863

>>55945850

>> No.55945874

>>55945863

>> No.55945897

>>55945874

>> No.55945911

>>55945897

>> No.55945990

>>55945911

>> No.55946001

>>55945990

>> No.55946079

>>55946001
Last one I have for now.

>> No.55946145

>>55928968
I fucking love this one.

>> No.55946793

>>55945709
I like this, it's not often you get to see an OW Commissar actually act like one.

>> No.55947717

>>55915686
I want to read this man's fanfic.

>> No.55949211

>>55946079
kek

>> No.55949289

man, these are amazing.

>> No.55949528

>>55917544
>when detective books are power fantasies because the perpetrator receives justice in the end

>> No.55951649

>>55928021
This is amazing.

>> No.55952768

Was just posted in another thread. Surprisingly understandable means of comprehending the banking system.

>> No.55953094

>>55927895
>le nat 20
>le nat 20
>le nat 20
>le nat 20

wow such a compelling story.

>> No.55953372

>>55952768
That was an eye opener. I'm surprised dragon bankers don't come up more often in fiction.

>> No.55953456

>>55927960
This has got to be one of the best things I witnessed. Ha, I wish I could play in a game like that.

>> No.55953556

>>55953372
Probably because their lending terms tend to be draconian

>> No.55954732

>>55943698
Yeah - I am aware that now the wiki page has expanded to close to a thousand stories I really need to make a 'best of' list. But there's no harm in dropping into the active thread every now and then and skimming through to see if there's anything you like.

In answer to your question, yes, people still read Storythreads.

>> No.55954921

>>55954732
I find it sad that writefaggotry is now mostly confined to storythreads, in the same way that drawfaggotry is confined to the art request thread.

>> No.55955088

>>55954732
>'best of' list
Which stories would even go to it? All Guardsmen Party? Orcbro? Shane the Shy? Spiderwoods?
What about somewhat controversial ones, like Edgardo or captain Drake?

>> No.55955158

>>55945874
We had guy play a character in our games named Baron Writeway. He had the skill craft and he would make quill pens. Every chance he got he would say "There's a wrong way to do things and then there's the Writeway" and then give somebody a pen

>> No.55955540

>>55917927
>>55918276
>He's not really wrong though.
He is though, there's no reason to start a fight. Any non-FTL civilization is not a threat, and any post FTL is too big a threat to risk provoking.
Making yourself the aggressor only works in a one hit kill, even then you don't know if anyone is watching.
The reality is that A) FTL is impossible. or B) Nobody is going to risk getting shot and speak.
We're not trapped in Central Park, we're just in the woods.

>> No.55956157

>>55929001
I still can't believe this actually happened.

>> No.55956575

>>55915589
Oh shit I'm feeling it

>> No.55956801

>>55953372
There was a standalone novel called Magic of the Plains where the main plot was a dragon that kidnapped virgins, not to devour, but to collect and trade with other dragons. One of the principle characters, whose professions in the dramatis persona section was listed as "mountebank and palter" conned the dragon into providing funds for a stock market in maidens, complete with the idea of futures and cornering markets on women whose looks were expected to be hot next season.

>>5593456
Har

>> No.55957829

>>55955540
>relativistic kill vehicles
>requiring FTL
?????

>> No.55959937

>>55905389
Dickass being highlighted just makes me fuckin' laugh.

>> No.55961494

>> No.55962063

>>55945850
Post full version with all the replies

>> No.55962109

>>55962063
Sure, but I think the version without replies is funnier.

>> No.55962199

>>55939932
Innatubes is basically just that episode of DS9 where O'Brian gets paranoid.

>> No.55962266

>>55945874
More rogues need to be played like this instead of as dickass thieves.

>> No.55962604

>>55952768
I have a sudden desire to write a heist story about a group of adventuring con-men taking down a dragon bank. I need to rewatch some episodes of Leverage for inspiration.

>> No.55963569

>> No.55963630

>>55927562
>Missing the best line

>> No.55965397

>>55916209
>fail a single roll
>DM forces you into being "That Guy" against your knowledge

wew

>> No.55967938

Alright!
A greenpasta thread with lots of victims, and me with enough time on my hands to torture you with my favourite HFY (where Y stands for either You or Yeah - I'll let you decide which) story ever: "All the way back" by Michael Shaara.
Yay!

>lone ship of the Galactic Space Patrol is just chillin' out - doing it's usual rounds around the Great Intergalactic War Memorial Planet.
>suddenly a lone, unidentified contact appears on it's radar
>it's a small vessel of unknown (obviously Alien) construction, with crew of only two, on a direct course towards the Memorial Planet!
>Patrol Ship's resident Psyker identifies the two crew as Alien - but since their 'brainwaves' are in the files, the Captain concludes they must've been spotted, and identified, somewhere before - so he fucks off into the Captain's quarters, and does some digging in the Top Secret Files section

>meanwhile, on the two-man 'Alien' ship, the crew is jubilant, as the first Earth-like planet they've seen in 10 years since they left Earth comes into view
>drooling all over the viewport & taking in the sights of all the greenery, nearly-perfect atmosphere composition and just-slightly lesser gravity, they fail to spot the Patrol ship tailing them from a safe distance
>Pilot/Navigator/Mechanic rides herd on the Biologist/Botanist/Zoologist who's fucking tired of all the thousands of lifeless rocks they explored so far, and wants to land despite the residual radiation, total lack of lifeforms higher than microbes and existence of thousands of ginormous valleys looking suspiciously like craters
>finally they jump into spacesuits, head out - and run straight into a wise, old grampa
>good news: grampa belongs to the Galactic Federation - a Union of all intelligent creatures in the universe, overseeing peaceful, and happy coexistence of any and all intelligent life in the galaxy - no matter how wierd, new or unusual

continued

>> No.55968118

>>55967938
>bad news: grampa is watching over the planet so it can, one day - when radiation level goes down, be returned to it's rightful owners - so, Humanity can't have it, so sorry

>what happened here? Oh, well, it's a looong, tragic tale of a race called Andra which spread among the stars nearly 100.000 years ago
>see, unlike all the other races, Andra didn't care much for the Federation - they refused to join lots of times, preferring to spread, and thrive, on their own
>soon, though, they had no more space left to spread - so they started taking over other race's space
>the Federation tried to stop them, but Andra didn't want to - and so, the Great Intergalactic War started
>it was Andra vs. the entire galaxy - and Andra were winning ... well, most of the time
>the galaxy was getting it's shit kicked - but sometimes, it could still pull off a Victory (usually of the Pyrrhic sort) - like here, at this planet
>with Andra Invasion Fleet in full retreat, Andra Admiral launched a final 'fuck you' attack, and covered the entire surface of the planet with nukes
>the galaxy had enough - even the most peaceful races in it could now clearly see that this was a war to the extermination - and for the first, and only, time in galaxy's history, a vote for xenocide was passed in the Federation's Parliament
>free of the necessity of reducing the collateral damage as much as possible, the Federation's scientists quickly developed new weapons, and within 10 years, all the star systems of the Andra went Nova, and within a 1000 years, the last of the Andra (that could be found) was hunted down
>and for the last 100.000 years, no Andra has been found in the galaxy ... until now

>the Captain gave the two Andra a couple of seconds to figure out what he meant, before giving the order to execute them
>unfortunately, the Psyker and the technicians couldn't figure out their planet of origin, so the execution of the others will have to be ... a bit delayed ...

>> No.55968166

>>55968118
>>55967938
Oh, yeah - I forgot to mention - this is just a transcript & I cut things short a bit - the full story is much juicier.
So shoot me.

>> No.55968189

You guys are fucking corny

>> No.55968250

>>55909824
Flooding hell with holy water.
I like that groups thinking.

>> No.55970342

>be me
>playing online, maid rpg, conanesque setting
>everything goes well, the occassional erp, raiding villages, teaching isekaid space marines the way of the maid, shit like that, nothing problematic
>until lunch
>expect normal skillcheck-and-proceed
>fuck no
>magic realming faggot dm asks everyone to describe in detail what they make
>erping /ck/ niggers like pigs in mud
>roast sow leg with beermustard sauce
>blue rare ribs
>butter potatoes
>honey-lemon-mint roll
>tfw in afternoon class
>tfw found a screw in cafeteria broccoli puree
>tfw replaced lunch with a few beers
>blue stomached hard
>think of the best food starving, tipsy me can come up with
>nyquil fried chicken
>roll a 1*0, burn it
>fsis ki/ck/s down the door, proclaims me heretic to pastallah
>erpers push it up to 11, attempt to seduce the jihadi feds
>describe in detail how they spread the sauce on the bursting red skin of the pig
>how the water they boil the mint in slowl, turns green and thickens as they add the sugar
>how it shines in the morning light as they pour the still steaming glaze on he supple pastry
>how the wet, cold fresh vegetables emit their scent as they cut them into a salad and marinate in balm vinegar and olive oil
>how the potatoes shine in a buttery light as they turn a golden brown in the oven
>how the sex-on-the-beach coagulates when they add the gelatin and put them on the ice cream-filled cupcakes
>digestive boner fucking diamonds at this point
>bend over double over the stomach pain
>but we are let off with a warning
>it's not over though
>they start on the cake
>by the time they get to the part of filling it with cream and marzipan i ejaculate stomach acid and pass out
>wake up in icu with an ulcer visible from a block away

>> No.55970373

holy shit this thread is still up?

guess I'll dump a bit more

>> No.55970385

>>55970373
naturally i forgot to attach a fucking image

>> No.55970402

>>55970385

>> No.55970408

>>55970342

>> No.55970420

>>55970385
>They're thieving Middle Earth
Underrated

>> No.55970432

>>55970402

>> No.55970453

>>55970432

>> No.55970464

>>55970453

>> No.55970479

>>55970464

>> No.55970485

>>55970479

>> No.55970502

>>55970485
a legend

>> No.55970514

>>55970502

>> No.55970534

>>55970514

>> No.55970555

>>55970534
oftentimes I want to try this in a BESM session. never really got around to it.

>> No.55970570

>>55970555
and I'll stop

I've still got a few dozen more if anyone's interested.

>> No.55970656

>>55939932
As above, So below.

>> No.55970779

>>55922192
i mean, I have it but I try to keep it out of my mind...

>> No.55970803

Nice stories, but part of me dies a little seeing people screencap their own greentext stories.

>> No.55970857

>>55970555
Someone spread this wonderful thing top some Japanese shits.

>> No.55970888

>>55970803
jokes on you, I'm too autistic about my writing style to ever successfully put any green text together

but seriously thanks. I've always enjoyed collecting greentexts: its good to know that they occasionally bring you anons some enjoyment

>> No.55971057

>>55905380

>> No.55971121

Not greentext, but it will work anyway.

>> No.55972144

>>55971057
I actually laughed out loud at this one. No one even bothered to ask if said chick was hot

>> No.55972390

>>55971121
have some respect mr.screencapper

>> No.55972650

>>55937248
>>55935610
>>55934704
Fools.

>> No.55973574

>>55953556

>> No.55973863

>> No.55973873

>> No.55974188

>>55973873
Ouch.

This is how you Evil, ladies and gentlemen.

>> No.55975221

>>55972390
>she

>> No.55975253

>>55927690
Well it at least it turned me on.

>> No.55978426

>>55970485
Goddammit Anon, I didn't want to feel these feels, but they were good feels.

>> No.55978664

>>55963569
Hah! Now I want to see all of DBZ re-imagined as d&d shenanigans, though that seems kind of extraneous given the abridged series and all that.

Come to think of it OG Dragonball would fit that mold pretty well though, it's a bit sad that so few actually watched it compared to Z.

>> No.55979092

>>55973873

too soon

>> No.55979426

>>55937248
I like Scrapple

>> No.55979443

>>55979426
It doesn't taste bad, but it looks like vomit.

>> No.55979456

>>55979443
What is the traditional serving suggestion?

>> No.55979483

>>55979456
No clue. I've had it in a shallow bowl, like an entree bowl and I've had it straight up on a plate.

>> No.55979486

>>55979426
>Scrapple, also known by the Pennsylvania Dutch name Pannhaas or "pan rabbit", is traditionally a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and wheat flour, often buckwheat flour, and spices.

So sort of like bread-y spam? I'd try it.

>> No.55979512

>>55979483
I live in Florida and a local diner serves it and I can buy it at Publix, where shopping is a pleasure

Never been to Pennsylvania, but I've seen Amish folks before

>> No.55979549

>>55979486
>bread-y spam
That's not a bad way of describing it. It's actually kinda palatable if you have it with some warm apples.

>> No.55979741

>>55927456
Good god. Please tell me that Drake did, in fact, come back.

>> No.55981065

>>55970570
Keep postan

>> No.55981194

Posting.

>> No.55981201

>>55981194
Well that's all folks

>> No.55981275

>>55981201
It was a good thread. I have stuffed my folder full of (relatively) new stories. Hopefully other fa/tg/uys benefited as much as I did. If not more-so.

>> No.55981327

>>55981065
too late now, unfortunately.

till next time lads

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