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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.50611245 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>> No.50611326

Very heavily regulated in order to prevent it from spreading Chaotic influence.

So, absolutely nothing like it is now.

>> No.50611337

Ok Tech-priests, Why do you triplex connectors?
They take up less space and transfer power more efficiently than duplex, not to mention that the wires themselves are sturdier. Why are so against using them?

>Inb4 it makes muh machine spirits bawwww!
Well then tell them to calm their cybertits. You're techpriests, you're supposed to be a connection between the machine and flesh, are you really so incapable of telling them to stop being bitchy and suck it up?

Or could it be that you techno-fascists don't actually have a clue as to what you're doing because you spend all your time sticking your dicks in toasters rather than actually learning about science?

>> No.50611414

>Regulating the autism that is 4chan
>Implying that the Imperium wouldn't have as little control over it as they do over the warp
>Implying it wouldn't be in the hands of the Admech anyways
>Implying they wouldn't let Tau, Necrons, and others have access to it just so they could have somebody to sperg out at for being tech-heretics/heathens

>> No.50611485

Split into GORKchan and MORKchan i bet.

>> No.50611595

>Hey guys, I'm gonna tell you how to Techpriests how to do your job, despite not being the ones who spend LITERALLY A LIFETIME LEARNING ABOUT THE MACHINES!

>take up less space and transfer power more efficiently than duplex
Listen here you little techno-heretical fuck-mongler, Triplex connectors are barely tested, unrefined prices of shit. Their power to space ratio may be better, but they also cause more stress and harm on the machine due to the power they draw. And their ration isn't even that good. Any job a tripled can do can be done by 1 1/2 duplexes.

>but muh extra room
Our ships are litteraly built to be kilometers long and tall! A few extra cubic meters is not that big a deal

>sturdier than duplex
Yeah, well Triplex connectors are also more likely to short out/burn out/explode violently from long-term use than Duplex. So have fun explaining to your captain as you get raped to death by demons that the Gellar field failed because you used Triplex because you couldn't be bothered to shoo away the cockroaches every couple of days.

>Machine spirits don't like
Are you fucking high? Do you think it's as as lighting a few candles, burning some incense, and gently patting that machine and telling it that everything's going to be alright?! These things are all part of the Omnisiah himself, and he is quite frankly sick of the shit you put him through. Neglecting basic maintenance because "it takes too long", hitting stuff when it doesn't work, Throwing your lasguns battery packs into the campfire and overcharging them to use as makeshift grenades! It takes a lot to get a machine spirit pissed, but when they do, oh it's even worse trying to get it unpissed.

TL:DR You're a tech-Heretic that doesn't know what he's talking about and needs to read the big book of "Basic shit that fucking tech-toddlers already know"

>> No.50611631

Hey Tink, did you get the insulation you wanted?

... What did you even want it for?

>> No.50611657

>Wahh! B-but it's flawed. Here flesh-bag just use Duplex! Stop expecting me to learn and create new things, it's too hard!

Then fucking fix it, Mr. Roboto. Are you seriously telling that not one of you smug, chrome-domed, cogboys could come up with any sort of improvement to a fucking conector in Emperor knows how many millenia?! Yeah, I bet you the Ominisiah's real proud of his disciples right now, can't even be bothered to learn and discover more about him.

>> No.50611716

>Hey guys, remember how there was not one but TWO periods in time where Humanity started fucking with shit they didn't understand and fucked? Why don't you start doing that again.

Oh yeah, because that worked out so well, like for those idiots who were going to start a schism with head of Admech over a Necron ship they bought off of a rogue Trader, that turned out reeaaaall well for them, didn't it.

The number one rule of the Admech is that if you don't have an answer for any of the following questions:
A. What does it do?
B. How it does it do "it"?
C. How do you make it do "it"?
D. Who made it and why?
D 1/2 (that's totally a real letter, shut up) Are the Makers going to stop you from touching it?
E. Can your enemies use it?


>> No.50611752

No. Fucking machine spirits decided to be pissy cunts and not cooperate so we had to resort to Duplex.

And that's classified information, so I'ld have to kill you if I told you. But what I can say is that if certain whiny spirits had co-opoerated instead of being childish little ghosts, then the ship they live in wouldn't be in such shitty condition...well, it wouldn't be in AS shitty condition.

>> No.50611853

>Oh no, we can't make new shit or improve or learn! What If Heretics learn get their hands on it? I mean it's not like we have thousands of forge worlds and they only have a few mad scientist labs run by senile, nutjob, Hereteks, making it so that we would benefit immensely more than our enemy if we were to advance!
>Let's just sit here with our mechandrites up our asses and accuse anyone engaging in scientific endeavors of tech-heresy so that we can feel important like the Inquisition.

Fucking Techno-Fascists.

>> No.50611887

Catachans are such fucking mongrels it's unreal.

>light infantry/recon thinking that growing up in high O2 environments and steroids makes them heavy infantry
>sending sentinel platoons to do the job of tankbusters
>what is urban combat guys? Nevermind, let us assault this hive like it's a thicket of forest
>our officers are totally the best, dude. Rock-hard abs totally qualify them to lead an advance. No, colonel SteelPecs didn't sent a liaison to CG, why?
>dude, aiming with heavy bolters is totally overrated. The enemy is gonna run away when they see you lug around that grox-bitch and firing from the hip
>Check it out, I just got plasteel inserts in my teeth so I can take the pins out of grenades like in the picts

They are highschool dudebros who think they're all tough Progenium shit. Last combined exercise with them was a fucking logistical, strategic and overall collaborational nightmare.

Volkheim 42nd here, any other guardsmen off duty to kill some time online?

>> No.50611973

That funny. Mighty Tau Empire is using own variant of Triplex connectors in Firesuits and working is just fine. Gue'vasa also showed signs of worry over Triplex connectors, but it Okay.

It proof that less than Tau Empire and Great Good is Imperium dogma and superstition. Tech gooder, rule gooder, people gooder, every thing gooder.

Admech full of bad who can't into Good tech. Get fuck.

>> No.50612216

>Be Krieger 34th
>Orginal division decimated in assault
>get shoved in mixed division
>Finish all maintenance and inspection but still have time left
>go to Join fellow gaurdsman in moral raising exercise at campfire
>they all fall silent when I get near and edge away from me
>It's because I shot Jenkins during battle today I bet
>The Commisar was dead and I thought he was retreating
>How was I supposed to know he had been knocked back by explosion and just tripped on shrapnel
>this is failing to raise morale, they just keep staring at me
>decide to drink strange liquid from box they are all drinking from
>they relax a bit, start talking again
>tell stories of home, other battle, life experiences like fears, loves, first times
>No one asks me anything, pretty much just forget about me
>Doesn't matter, i don't have anything to add anyways, just sit there and drink.
>notice that people are slowly leaving the campfire for another one
>eventually just me and box alone,
>stay and Keep drinking in hopes I'll Succeed in raising own morale
>Actually end up lowering morale, feel weird feelings inside
>Symptoms are Tightness of chest, shortness of breath, water leaking from eyes, loss of motivation to do anything, even during for the Emperor
>I wish my old unit was here

Help guardsman, what am I doing wrong? Why is this happening? How do I make pain go away?

>> No.50612292

>"What would 4chan be like in the time of 40k?"
In a word, HERESY

>> No.50612298


>> No.50612341

That's because you've got the benefit of being able to ship everything back home for maintenance every time it gets a scratch on the paintwork. I mean, your core worlds are a couple systems away from the front line at best.
The Imperium needs reliable, hardwearing equipment that doesn't need to be retrofitted with bleeding edge tech and will continue to destroy entire armies for centuries while sailing across the spiral arms as a MINIMUM.

Come back when your suits can report in for duty after two hundred years and only need a wipe down, oil refilled and a new coat of paint to be factory fresh.
No, really do come back if you can do that because while everything you touch is tech heresy it's sometimes educational tech heresy. In a "what not to do" sort of way.

>> No.50612345

Oh welp, here comes the blueberry brigade was wondering when they'd show up. Omnisiah-damned, slit-noses, techno-heathens, learn to speak some goddamn low gothic. I don't go to your boards and spout garbled moonspeak at you, do I?

Your machines are okay with That shit because, like you, they have no souls and don't matter. The only reason you're even relevant is because you manage to woo all of the especially disgusting, deviant, xenophilic, faggot Meatbags who want to get a taste of that "blueberry pie", into joining your shitty little "Empire". I'm gonna laugh when you all end up screw yourselves from your irreverence towards the Omnisiah.

>> No.50612381


>> No.50612424


>> No.50612428

You realize that if they lose control, they're gonna pull the plug and BLAM! everyone who's even visited the front page, right?

>> No.50612441

Fuck me, you guys really are the way they paint ya, aren't you?

Alright. As long as you are still human (as I would hope), that stuff is feelings. Emotional pain, trauma, loss. Your new comrades don't understand the way you were trained and brought up, because efficiency and discipline aren't that important for them. This is not a flaw, per se, but just a cultural difference. Understand that they might not understand you and try to see things the way they do: valuing their own life and their comrade's more than you might expect. They are just like you, just less efficient. Hope this helps, somehow. Throne, I don't know if you can even understand my point, but I did my best.

as for loss, everybody in the guard goes through the same. I raise a glass to your fallen.

>> No.50612467

>How do I make pain go away?
By dying for the Emperor, obviously.

>> No.50612561

Preach it brother. My forgeworld still has some of those old Castellax and they are working just fine after 10,000 years. Other than that one incident, we haven't had to fix anything!

>> No.50612567

>Calls valued Gue'vasa who see superior sex appeal of Tau Form "disgusting", "Deviant", and "faggot"
>Is member of giant tank-fucked club

I believe a saying that have you for this is "black calling cattle pot"? Or something.

Also Gue'vasa and other allies recognizing great sexy Tau bodies shows their good taste, and superiority of Tau bodies. Though Tau they are not, it unfair to begrudge them when they have such good likes and accept greater good. At least they will be getting screwed while you be toaster-fucking virgin for life!

>> No.50612693

Water-Caste member here and I have to ask: What is it with you Fire caste guys and this Gue'vasa fetish? I mean, yeah there were a bunch who went through a...phase when both the Kroot and Vespids joined, but those only lasted a couple months. You guys have still been going on with this for a while now and it's getting weird. I mean you're more into them then the Earth Caste, and most of them actually live with Guela on the Border Worlds.

Seriously why this obsession? Is it because they kinda look like Tau if you squint and pretend their Blue? Is it all those Human-centric shows like "AGP:Dark Heresy" or "Commisar Cain" that have been influencing your mind?

I mean, as long as it doesn't harm or hinder the Greater Good then it's fine, but it's seriously bordering on creepy now.

>> No.50612776

>there are plans to remove /9/ - Everchanging
that's a fucking containment board
this wouldn't have happened if Grand Magos Moot was still in charge of this forsaken site, /7/ has been really nice lately and I don't want that to end because those psyker fucks can't keep their hard-on for change tucked away

>> No.50612818


Imagine being being catfished by a Deamonette so you're like, fuck, but then also like, yes.

>> No.50614129

>Let Necrons have Access
>Implying the living metal beings can't crack a system designed by toaster fuckers
>Implying Necrons aren't just gonna use 40kchan to either shitpost, attempt one up everybody, or feel bitter and miserable about how much their lives suck.
>implying they wouldn't be so populous that they get their own containment board to do the third.

>> No.50614455

>Implying that toaster fuckers aren't better in every conceivable way than necrofags

>> No.50614500

You know what you're right, you Necrons are obviously better than us in every way. In fact why don't you tell us how cool you are by telling us about your greatest invention, inertialess FTL Dri- ooooh wait that's right you don't have those anymore.

>> No.50615143

>What would 4chan be like in the time of 40k?

The Eye of Terror.

Consider the parallels:

>Hates elves
>A creepy melange of perversion, mindless aggression, conspiracy theories, and venereal diseases
>Constant flow of endlessly changing heresies
>Exposure to Chaos gives you mutations that leave you powerful but socially toxic. Exposure to 4chan gives you dank memes that leave you powerful but socially toxic.
>Powerful ideas in the Eye of Terror literally take on a life of their own. Dank memes figuratively do exactly the same thing.
>Both the Eye and 4chan have endless spam of dick rate threads.
>In recent books, Chaos takes credit for giving the Emperor his power. In recent posts, /pol/tards claim credit for putting the new American President in power.
>The Eye of Terror has a process of constant seduction and corruption drawing innocent souls in to be corrupted. 4chan has /b/, /soc/, and pretty much every other board.
>mods = daemon princes. I think this is self-evident.
>Time works differently in the Warp, such that you go into the Eye of Terror and come out millennia later a grotesque abomination who only experienced what felt like a few weeks. You get on 4chan, get sucked in, and re-appear years later as a fat, greasy, grotesque abomination of a NEET after what felt to you like a few weeks.

Switch 4chan from http to psychic power as your underlying backbone communication tech, and you're basically done.

4chan = Eye of Terror

You heard it here first, plebs.

>> No.50615386


>> No.50615597

4chan's a shithole in every timeline - universial constant...

>> No.50615865


Return to your drills. Your attempts to integrate with your new unit are admirable, but they will only make you soft. Think of home, think of time spent among your brothers. Did we waste time sitting around a campfire talking? NO! We drilled. If you have finished maintaining your equipment see to maintenance of yourself! Remember that you belong to the emperor as much as your lasgun. Raise their moral by example.

>> No.50615884

>Still being distracted by Orks
Wake up Sheepitors while you are busy killing that guardsman for coughing the Tyranids are slowly undermining our society.
The Ordo Chronos tried to warn us!!!

>> No.50615923

Holy shit it's true.

It's a good pain.

>> No.50616371

>Tau-tics having good tech
>when they cannot into Warp travel beyond a dozen fucking LY
Why the fuck do we keep putting up with these threads, /UltSeg/?

>> No.50616938

mechanicuck detected, kys immediately

>> No.50617133


While you are not incorrect you are missing an important detail. He feels this pain because he allowed himself to become distracted. Idleness breeds discontent in this case. If he had just continued to do as a good member of the Death Korps does then he would not feel this way.

>> No.50617148


Eldar always get the best women (Eldar women, we would not stoop to disgusting mixing like you pathetic mud-rats). What girls do you all get? None, because you're going to die pointlessly on some shithole planet by yourself when your own leader shoots you in the back of the head! Eldar are more intelligent, bigger, faster, and stronger than "humans". How can mon-keigh even compete?

Oh right, they can't. See you later nerds!
PS. I won't see you later, I have divined all of your futures and you all die within 100 or so years. Pathetic!


>> No.50617276


Are you really this deluded? Your race is dying. Clearly you don't get enough pussy considering how low your birth rate is.

When you die, you will be at best trapped in a stone and used as the xenos equivalent of a servitor or cogitator. That is if your soul isn't taken by Slaneesh. Which it probably will be in the long run when your civilization finally fails and there is no one left to protect the stones.

When i die my sacrifice will be rewarded with a place by the Emperor's side where i will be free from pain and sorrow.

An eternity with the Emperor as compared to a brief stint in a stone and an eternity of suffering. How can the Eldar even compete?

>> No.50617350

Pretty much the same, only the perma-virgin man-children that frequent it will be space marines.

>> No.50617397

Hey, machine brother. I just wanted you to know that there's a website that caters to both your xenos flesh fetish, as well as your machine flesh fetish.

You have no idea how many of these blueberries are augmented, man. Just, like, so many. Do you want to put HDMI in her USB3? She'll do it, man.

>> No.50617467


I have divined your future as well.

>> No.50617479


Listen up you impudent little shit! It is an honour to serve again in the afterlife, something you will never know because at best you will become a mindless servitor. The wraithkin are not mindless, they are proud and noble. Many of them have over 3000 confirmed kills and are the top sniper or beast-slayer on their craftworld, so you better not mess with them.

Your stupid Emperor doesn't even exist in the warp outside of a big sparkly beacon, and although your entire race are too stupid to realize it, he wastes all of his time trying to plug a giant gaping hole in reality, using his ass (which is fitting for you low-brow stupid mon-keigh). Even if you were right it wouldn't matter because Ynnead is going to save the Eldar race and you're going to be Tyranid shit in M45 so basically just die and get out of my galaxy.

You think you could just get away with saying that stuff over the warpnet? Think again, mud-thing. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Corsairs and Rangers and your location is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the psychic storm, maggot-creature. The storm that wipes out the pathetic thing you call a "regiment". You are already dead, mon-keigh. We can be anywhere, at any time, and we can kill you in over 9000 different ways (and that's just with my bare mind). Not only am I extensively trained in psychic warfare but I have access to the entire anti-Chaos arsenal of Ulthwé and I will use it to its full extent to destroy every potential strand of your fate in this life or any other. If only you could have known what kind of inevitable result your "clever" little fish-brained comment was going to create, maybe you would have held your tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you will pay the price, you disgusting hominid.

>> No.50617530


So much impotent rage. Did i hit a little too close to home xenos?

>> No.50617584

Look, gue'la, We all know "Warp Travel" is just a fucking meme. Like those "Titans" you lot are always going on about. Like I'm gonna believe that fucking boogieman creepypasta bullshit just because some toaster fucker still thinks his calculator needs a cake and a song to do some basic addition.

Your Emperor was such a useless shit that no one in your entire fucking solar system can even remember his name.

>> No.50617593





>> No.50617614

Man, I never thought I'ld say this but...sick burns based Krieger.

>> No.50617656

Heretical. Alternatively, completely in the weird language that tech-priests speak so that 40k /g/ can still shitpost about which arcaeotech computers are the best.

>> No.50617706

>Your Emperor was such a useless shit that no one in your entire fucking solar system can even remember his name.

I was a member of the Water Caste helping provide new job opportunites for the gue'la citizens we liberated on Muguloth Bay, and as an experiment, we were told to ask each interviewee about this. I was one of the first on the world and one of the last off. I Interviewed sewer slaves, police-equivalents, and even "well-educated" diplomats and ruling-class families.

Not a single fucking one knew this guy's name.

He may not always be right, but Long Live Aun'va. At least we know who's pulling the strings around here.

>> No.50617754

learn low gothic you greater gook

>> No.50617790




>> No.50617801


It appears that the much vaunted intelligence of the Eldar is good for little more than childish insults. What's next? You insinuate that your dick is bigger than mine? Oh wait, that's right, you don't have one.

And nukes? Really? Xenos please, you'd just be helping us redecorate. The nuclear cloud was getting a little thin anyway.

>> No.50617839


Oooo shit who knew the Korps had bantz

>> No.50617895

If you ladies are done messing with the poor xeno will someone on this emperor forsaken ship please refill the toilet paper

>> No.50617898




+++HA+++ +++HA+++ +++HA+++



>> No.50617904


No offense, but i've never understood what you people have against basic protective gear. The emperor gave us armor for a reason after all.

>> No.50617989



>> No.50617995

But anon...We are the Warp.

>> No.50618011


You Kreigers might be all fancy in those gas mask and long coats but sometimes a nice muscle shirt and flak jacket in a death world

>> No.50618078

>falling for the bait this hard
Guilliman would be proud, corpse-emperor cuck

>> No.50618090


If you can so effortlessly weaponize black holes, why are any of us still here? Why do you run at the first chance you get? Why do you cower on your craft worlds and try to hide from the greater galaxy?

You're talking out your ass xeno. You don't even have the military capability to properly defend your people, let alone halt the march of the Imperium of Man.

So go ahead, hide away in some far corner of the cosmos and make yourself feel better about your lot in life by spouting your crystalline shit about how superior you are. Deep down you know that your time is limited, and that someday we will crush you beneath the treads of our tanks.

>> No.50618110


>> No.50618173

...or do you?


inb4 b&

>> No.50618363

Ironic orkposting is still orkposting, faggot

>> No.50618583


....dude, take your pick, the Imperium has that on every front.

>> No.50618606

>Be me
>Be Warp Spider
>Teleports behind you
>Nothing personal, Mon-Keigh

>> No.50618698

Inquisitor here. Looking for a good tech-priest for my entourage.

Also, totally unrelated, but do any of you Ordo Mechanicus guys know what a man of iron looks like?... just curious.

>> No.50618721


>> No.50618751

Gotcha ordo-fampai :DD

>> No.50618768





>> No.50618831

Alpha Legion cult in hive city.

>> No.50618921

>have eternal youth
>just want to die
anyone else feel this way /sonsofsanguinius/?

>> No.50618981


>> No.50619001

>be Cadian
>enlisted in the Whiteshield
>spot 8/10 qt 3.14
>her head is eaten by a daemon

How do you make the visions of horror stop in your head ? I don't know if I can go on like this

>> No.50619023


>> No.50619041


Chin up lad atleast your nightmares will eventually go away

>> No.50619070

Tyranids are basically /R9K/ with some get up and go.

Autistically focused, obsessed with eating tendies (us), some variants of them will only reproduce via rape (genestealers).

>> No.50619090


>> No.50619143

>not doing monoplexes

>> No.50619284

Especially coming from a race so pathetic, their progenitors needed to create an entirely new one to face us properly.

Feel useless yet scraplings?

>Needing to physically type
You squishies, against all logic, are even more useless when interred in robotics.

>> No.50619356 [SPOILER] 

Is there an cogboy here? Cause my mate found some really old lookin' dataslate and it had this... thing on it and well... something seems off about it. Is it heresy or no?

>> No.50619482

Yeah yeah sure, what ever you say grandpa.

>> No.50619544


Okay Por'Ui, I'll tell you why, but this is only because the subject of this tale is too dead to give me shit about spilling the beans.

See, back during the Damocles Crusade mess a few centuries back, one of my esteemed Ethereal predecessors came across a proscribed Gue'la book. "Lust Flowering Permitted" or some shit like that. Either way, public records state that he locked himself in his quarters for like a week, ordering his charges not to disturb him "while he sought insight into the mind of the Gue'la". After he came out, alledgedly "flushed with vigor", he suggested to his Cadre that they should initiate cordial relations with the Gue'la to bring them into the fold, the more cordial the better. And naturally, he was obeyed without question.

By the time the rest of the Ethereal council found out it was too late; the human paraphilia had been deeply implanted in the minds of the fire caste present at the time, and the meme was propogating rapidly throughout the rest of the ranks. All attempts to reverse it have failed, leaving our army plagued by a latent fetish for shaved apes with a skull obsession.

Now if anyone comes to ask you about this story, you heard nothing, you read nothing, and Aun'Va was the greatest, purest and above all least perverse of the Ethereals. Throw in a few "death to Farsight"'s in there too, and that should cover you.

>> No.50619589


>> No.50619726

Piss off you eggplant headed sod. Don't you have to got back to playing to with your wraithboners or what ever?
Ahem, That, my meaty friend, is an extremely rare digital artifact from Holy Terra's pre-space flight years! How the bloody hell did you find such a thing?

>> No.50619739

Hmm, guess I'm gonna need a bigger containe- I mean, well done my Ordo Famalam, you've truly done the emperors work....Welp, I have some work to do that is completely and in no way related to anything I have previously mentioned including but not limited to the mechanicus, the men of iron or any implications of a finding or capture of said man of iron...nope, no radicalism here.

>> No.50619829

>> No.50619840

It was one of the only things that worked in a fucked library we were stationed in. Boredom and paranoia made me look for stuff and I tripped (Literally) over it

>> No.50619916


A place for chaos worshippers to post chaotic memes (watch out for tzeenchian memetic viruses), shitpost (literally if you hang out on /nu/), discuss best bloodarea sizes, best way to disembowel your offering, share and get input on chaos engine blueprints and of cource post pictures of dickgirls. Beacause /d/ is immortal and already has the blessing of Slaanesh

>> No.50620261

By Aun'Va...

>> No.50621885

That's exactly the reason the enemy can't pin them down either.

It's hard to figure out your foe's SOP when he doesn't have one.

>> No.50622000

...where exactly is this Library you speak of?

>> No.50622072

Horus Heresy was a Jewish conspiracy

>> No.50623102

Do you think they tell us the names of the planets we're on? All I know is that it's getting eaten by bugs and it starts with an C or a k or something

>> No.50623355

You remember that bit of text to speech emperor when the nurgle champion is asked by the slaaneshi champion to read aloud and record a disgusting porn fanfic?

It would be that. EXACTLY THAT.

>> No.50623739

Oh Bugger, and there goes the chance to aquire more of these "Pepes" for posterity.

Well at least you managed to retrieve the one that you did.

>> No.50623863

There's probably more on this thing but it seems to be running out of power

>> No.50623989

DeathWatch Space Marine, Black Templar Here, Mind if I join in. Usually DeathWatch Inquisition matters are highly classified, but I've already been told by a reliable source that the Inquisition is selling records of this incident to some Tau Animation studio, so That point is sort of moot. Besides, I've been bedridden because of it for a while now.

>Be part of Death watch team with Lamenter and Marines Errant Apothocary (whose names shall not be mentioned)
>We get assigned to some bastard Inquisitor on some mission rooting out Heretics within the Inquisition.
>He's not overly fond of us, probably because he's a Psyker and read our minds to find out we were placing bets as to how long he would live
>The maximum was 4 weeks by the Lamentor
>To be fair, most of our Inquisitors had gotten themselves killed in the dumbest of ways
>Still though he seems rather competent
>Which of course makes our fearless leader, the Apothocary, immediately suspicious of Treason
>He spends the entire first half of the Mission while the Inquistor does his Inquisitorial things watching him for any signs of Heresy or Treason of corruption
>He says something about the item stocks and procedures proves he's up to something
>Lamenter and I think it's just plain old Incompetence and/or lazyness
>Inquisitor is obviously getting real tired of being hounded by Apothocary but can't exactly get rid of us.
>Only reason he's putting up with us is because there are some dangerous Heretic allies coming and he wants to be prepared.
>The people finally Arrive, but here's where it gets interesting
>Instead of a bunch of Trained competent looking Heretical double agents, we saw the most ragged, ragtag, unrefined group of Inquisitorial agents I have ever seen in my Life

>> No.50624225

>This "dangerous" team of Heretical agents consisted of :
>A Man who wore welding glasses despite being in Bronx daylight, who kept mumbling at his data pad
>A gaunt, twitchy little man who looked like he belonged in a mental Ward
>Something shifty that looked like mix between a human, a ratling, and I think a Gretchin, smelled even worse,
>An Angry looking women with a hair pattern that seemed to closely resemble a Terran Skunk
>Some nervous looking boy, noticeably younger than the others, who wore a pair of ridiculously oversized googles
>A field medic Type who looked like he handn't slept in years and was only a few steps short of becoming the twitchy one
>Their Leader, who looked like someone pulled an Imperial Guard Seargent off of the front lines and stuffed him in an Inquisition suit.
>There were also some adepts but these were the really notable ones
>They were all carrying in some, cludged together monstrosity of a containment unit with a Zoanthrope in it.
>Seriously, I may not be certified by the Adeptus Mechanicus, but I'll be damned if that hunk of junk they brought in wasn't the most Techno-heretical thing I had seen.
>There were even parts blatantly of Tau make!
>These guys definitely looked like Heretics, but honestly they looked like they were more dangers to themselves than anyone else
>Still though, these assholes manage to make us embarrass ourselves twice in front of the Inquisitor
>And I swear on the Holy Throne the little Gretchin stole my grenades
>So Anyways it's just me and the Lamenter on guard duty because the Inquisitor had apparently had enough of us.
>The Small goggled one pulls out a device but at this point I've had enough for dealing with them
>They argue for about over something stupid, but aside from that it's fairly peaceful
>Then The Twitchy one and The Lne I can only describe as "the Seargent" come walking up to us

>> No.50624384

>They try to convince us that the Zoanthrope is also a daemonhost
>Obviously, like sane, rational, well-trained, non-gullible people we say that this is fucking stupid and call them liars
>Then they call in Goggles to prove it with his datapad.
>Why in the name of the Emperor do they have direct control access to the Tyranid containment!?
>Call in the Inquisitor to jam it obviously.
>Tell them stop making up shit,
>they tell us that they're gonna laugh as we get eaten by "Daemonids"
>More arguing ensues amongst them.
>Small Doctor now comes to talk to us
>Even Mr. "Hugs, Kisses, and Cookies for everyone" Lamentor is getting tired of this shit
>We do our best to glare the Medic into submission,
>Apparantly works a little too well because the little guy just breaks down and starts blabbering about everything and anything
>We would've stopped him but it was actually rather entertaining.
>Thank the Emperor we didn't because he finally gets to the part about the Half dead Space Marine the brought with them.
>Yes, apparently they brought a literally half dead Space Marine with them in their shuttle, and only saw fit to mention it JUST NOW!
>So we bring him out, see he's in terrible condition, and call the Apothocary to tell him to stop being paranoid and come help with this.
>Meanwhile the Medic is still talking up a storm, only this time it's with Medical Jargon
>I actually don't understand half of what he said but to be honest, I don't think he did either.
>So the Errant finally gets over here to help stabilize the Half-Marine, who was apparently seargent Gravis of the Emperor's Sythes, and extract information from him
>He told us that A: the group that had brought the Zoanthrope were a bunch of Dangerous incompetents (as if that wasn't obvious) and B: The Zoanthrope was actually incredibly dangerous
>Now all that was left to do was decid whether or not to trust the pleadings of a bunch of alleged Heretics and and their half-dead poisoned comatose Marine.

>> No.50624632

>I was almost able to convince them on Not when Goggles tried to hack into our Helmets, but the risk was deemed to great
>The Lamentor was sent down to warn the Inquisitor but, surprise, surprise, He doesn't get there in time and the Inquistor gets his himself killed like a Dumbass
>apparently those ragtag gaurdsmen weren't lying about the Zoanthrope being a Daemonthrope
>How, in the Name of the Emperor, is that even possible!?
>Any way, speaking of the Gaurdsmen, they use this opportunity to retrieve their weapons forms their shuttle, which can I say were DEFINETLY Technoheretical
>They may have looked like Lasguns, but they sounded and fired like Tau Pulse Rifles
>At that point I was half expecting them to peel off their skin and reveal themselves to be Tau agents, it would have made about as much sense as everything else so far
>The Gretchin, Goggles,the Twitchy one, the Medic and the Adepts went down below while the Seargent and the Skunk stayed up here to fight with us.
>Dusong the course of the fight, i get wounded and am about to be finished off by the Zoanthrope, when the Seargent gets a brilliant idea
>His solution was to push me out of harms way
>Needless to say, I was out of commission for the rest of that fight.

And that's why I'm here, recovering from losing and Arm and a leg in the medical bay, posting on. 40chan. I can't remember if there was supposed to be a moral to this story, but that's probably because of the high dosage of Astartes grade painkillers I've been administered. Technically I'm not even supposed to be awake right now. Ok you know what, the Moral is now never trust Gaurdsmen in the Inquisition, who ride around in a fucking space hulk, and Make up for knowledge and tact with explosions!

>> No.50624654

Come on over to one of our temples, we probably have a spare charger for what ever model datapad it is lying around somewhere.

>> No.50624886

What would tg be like without faggot OPs threads?

>> No.50625034

nah i've met those lot, their actually not heretics, just hilariously incompetent and retarded, that giant fucking technoheretical mess of a ship is owned by some radical asshole inquisitor who kidnaps guardsmen and makes them work for the inquisition.

>> No.50625179

Guardsman here.

How do I achieve gains like this?

>> No.50625470


>> No.50625545

>stop liking what I don't like, you're a faggot

>> No.50626875

Are you kidding me? They'd make their own chans hosted on Necrontech servers and continually talk shit about everyone else for not being necrons.
At least, when the board isn't dead anyway.

>> No.50628612

Squats, oats, and geneseed.

>> No.50628765

How can tiny abhumans help me with this

>> No.50628883


>>implying they wouldn't be so populous that they get their own containment board to do the third.

It's called robot90k or /r90k/

>> No.50629611

Anyone ever tried one of these? I'm looking for something to get myself for my birthday because I have no friends and no one loves me.

>> No.50629737

I'd imagine 4chan-like pseudo-websites pop up all the time in many forgeworlds/admech worlds.

Either that, or a subfaction of Alpha legion-subverted techpriests.

>> No.50631645


>> No.50632039

why asking other people, just get one
also, are you a female?

>> No.50633215 [SPOILER] 

It's not heresy if the penis is feminine right?

>> No.50634996

Cardinal Xaphan is gonna make Vraks great again!

>> No.50637089

Don't worry Macha. We still love you here.

>> No.50638294

>Greater Gook

>> No.50640333

>greater gook

>> No.50640394

holy shit this is gold

>> No.50642107

please stop this is harassmen

>> No.50642442


>> No.50642458

fucking generation x

>> No.50642574

Daily reminder to venerate the God Emperor
I want to ____ this sister

>> No.50643277

You need to be 18 to post on this site, kiddo.

>> No.50643330

01101101 01101111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110011 01100001 01110111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00001010 01001111 01101101 01101110 01101001 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101000 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100001 01101001 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000

>> No.50643359


Ok, that's a great post.

>> No.50643412

Honored tech-priests, I've found a pict capture of a Merican leader dating back to the time of the Age of Terra. Is this tech-heresy or is he in alignment with the accords of the Martian priesthood?

>> No.50643725

>Inb4 Tink and Jim and unknowingly arguing with each other anonymously.

>> No.50644216

Wow, sure are a lot of "AGP: Dark Heresy" references here, must be all the Hype for the next episode.

So tell me, 40kchan, how do you guys feel about the fact that the show is going to end with Season 3? I know a bunch of blueberries and even a few humans who are in hysterics over this.

>> No.50645261

Water Caste member here (yeah, yeah, remove blueberry and all that) and to be honest, I'm gonna be kinda glad when it's over.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I freaking love the show, but I can't even publicly admit because of how horrible the fanbase is over here. There haven't been nearly this many Guelaboos since "Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Imperium" got a translation.

Seriously, just go onto any Tau-imation forum, any one, and you'll find thousands of discussions about how "superior" Imperial Training method is, and how badass and honorable Imperial Guard are and how Fire Caste should start mimicking AGP squad tactics. They don't even realize how little they actually get what makes the AGP so badass.

I can't even count how any times i've seen a fellow Tau try to talk in broken Low Gothic that they learned from AGP, to a Guela or Gue'vasa. By Aun'va, there are even Earth and Fire Caste members who have taken to mimicking their apparel, (it's actually resulted in a few thankfully non-lethal friendly fire-incidents involving panicked Gue'vasa). And I don't even want to get into the Plethora of "Tink X Mary Sue, Self-insert, Donut Steel OCs" fanfics that every adolescent Earth Caste Girl and their female progenitor writes.

By the Noble Ethereals, I swear that the Tau Fans are actually more Obnoxious than the Gue'vasa Fans. I'll welcome the End of AGP with open Arms if it means that they'll calm the fuck down or fuck off.

>> No.50645299

>Water Caste member here
Post pics

>> No.50645310

>So tell me, 40kchan, how do you guys feel about the fact that the show is going to end with Season 3?

Wait, what? Who said this and when?

>> No.50645417

Head Writer Shoggy, and he's been saying it for then last year or so that AGP would end at the end of the Conspiracy Plot, which would be wrapped up in the current season. Just go check the Q&A sections of the the First episode of the "Inquisitor Asshat's Stupid Stealth mission" arc.

>> No.50646381

That is a very good Question, Fleshy one. One this is still being debated today actually.

You see nanomachines are basically really tiny machines, so tiny that default human Eyes can't even see them. Their size, obviously, makes them incredibly useful From medicine to weaponry. It is said that some of the most advanced ones had even been able to break down and rearrange elements and molecules them selves. Some actually suspect that then Secrets of Necron's "Living Metal" is actually a (obviously inferior to our ancestors') variant of Nanomachines.

The question of Tech Heresy comes into play when you put into play the fact Nanomafhines are so small, that there is no way to make processors for them out of human brain without sacrificing function or size, meaning that is has to be purely robotic. However, it isn't exactly Tech-Heresy because Nanomachines don't function like servitors, where they have their own thought process, but instead in a system similar to the Tyranids, where the Nanobots are just interconnected, mindless machines without individual machine spirits that are directed by one larger "Overmind" you will. The Example of the 'Merican Leader's nanomachines in your Pic is actually using his own Brain as the Overmind controller for the Nanomachines.

This has lead to many Arguments over the Hereticalness of Nanomachines. They are typically accused of being techno-heretical due to their lack of Living Brains while Being so complex, their lack of individual machine spirits, and their similarity of both Necrons and Tyranids. These are ussually countered by arguments pointing out That they are too simple to be able to Rebel or be corrupted and can only function with direction from a designated Overmind unit, the Presence of One collective combined machine spirit, and the fact Nids and Necrons do a lot of things we do.

Requests to search for Nanomachine Archeotech has actually been Denied due to how heated these debates get.

>> No.50646872


Any allegations you've heard that the Death Korps uses child soldiers are baseless slander..

>> No.50647379

Thread over.

>> No.50647521

>Implying that the Admech wouldn't throw a bitchfit and break everything if they tried.

>> No.50648696

Literally Who and Literally What.

>> No.50649405

>Requests to search for Nanomachine Archeotech has actually been Denied due to how heated these debates get.

You mean because of how dangerously stupid they are.

It'll be all "Aww geez, look how cool these Nanomachines are! I can't wait to do dagerous experiments on them" and them BOOM! Something goes horribly wrong and We're all getting eaten by Necro-Nids!

>> No.50649586


Basically a derelict space station occupied by rogue traders and the unsavory people surrounding such places.

>> No.50650715

AGP? Newfag here, but in fairness I've been dead for most of this time.

>> No.50650750


>> No.50650863

Ascended into a slanni

>> No.50650899


>Dangerous planet
>Plays ebin bants m8
>Naps when everyone is awake

>> No.50651835

Why don't you go back to /k/?

>> No.50652170

Damn right.

>> No.50653262

Have You been living under rock friend? It's only the most popular animated show in the Tau Empire and the Imperium!

AGP is some of the best 40k writefaggotry ever conceived. It's about a bunch of Gaurdsmen who get saved from certain death only to be loaned out to fledgling, quite often incompetent, interrogators who are trying to make the movement into inquisitors. Read it here: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/All_Guardsmen_Party . Part of the joke is they eventually get a Tau Anime made about them

>> No.50653384

Hey, guys. Haha, I was just joking when I said I fapped to Tau porn, haha. To that one guy that said he was going to report me, you don't have to anymore haha. It was all just a joke lmfao.

Guys, haha, it was all just a joke lol.

>> No.50653435

Reported for heresy.

Say hello to the inquisitor for me when you get v&, heretic scum :^)

>> No.50653534

>wearing armor.
>Not wearing your faith in the God-Emperor as your armor, and your righteous fury as your weapon.

Found the heretic.

>> No.50653610

>year 403235
shiggy dig

>> No.50653681


>> No.50653753




>> No.50654567

Doesn't matter, already came.

>> No.50655348

I know your problem
You've lived to long

>> No.50658653


What about those kids in Dead Men Walking?

>> No.50658666

>Tfw no Girlfriend
>Tfw no Boyfriend
>Tfw no Cure for Super Space Cancer because space Pepes are douchebags
>Tfw when the Celestial Fart clouds you imprisoned to save you ate your souls and turned you into a bunch of robots
>Tfw robot body doesn't have any way to simulate sex, so if you were a virgin before you are now an eternal wizard
>Tfw have no friends because you opted to have all the other commoner Necrons on your planet be turned into mindless slaves, so have no one to talk to
>Tfw can't even remeber what gender you are
>Tfw Robot bodies don't have any facial muscles, so every face is that face

Just fuck my shit up Famalam.

>> No.50660557

Even though you are a filthy, Techno-Heretical, Xeno, I know those feels.

>Be Me
>Be Techpriest aboard small station
>Very few other tech priests
>Rarely ever interact with other people
>Stationers only come to me when something's broken down closer to my quarters
>Barely see any of the other full-Techpriests
>Don't really know them that well because of that
>Once in a blue moon an acolyte will come down to ask me a question about some tech
>Aside from that, no one comes to visit me
>Not even a quick "Hey, thanks for fixing the ventilators again Anon" or "Hey, how's life been Anon?"
>Dating game is nonexistent
>What few Techpriestesses there are on the station are either taken or have forsaken their need for companionship
>Not good at talking to non-Augmented
>The stationers don't like me anyways
>They probably think of me as some weird creep
>All I have is you guys
Life sucks Necr-Anon. To be Honest, I'm not even hoping for a special someone anymore. I'ld be happy with just a friend, someone who doesn't only come talk to me when they need a favor.

>> No.50660687


Go and ascociate with the psycher if there is one. Psychers are outcasts as well. They would likely be desperate enough for human contact themselves that they would be willing to overlook your flaws and augmentations.

>> No.50660703


That is clearly necron propaganda masquerading as imperial literature. The glorious Death Korps of Krieg do not know defeat.

>> No.50660712



>> No.50660963

GORKchan and MORKchan are actually the same board, but it shows up differently to both halves of the users.

>> No.50661015

by then it has transcended the materium and spawned four gargantuan cancermonsters that pretend to be gods

>> No.50661068

Mork for the blue boards, Gork for the reds

>> No.50661095

Gork for the blue boards and Mork for the red boards ya git

>> No.50663431

Go back to /tzn/.

>> No.50663819

Alright 40kChan, what's the best show currently running and why is it "Mobile Battlesuit Her'ex'vre"?

>> No.50664626

Fuck you. AGP FTW senpaii

>> No.50664731

holy shit it took me far too long to get this

>> No.50665172

The Answer is Magnus: Shippuden obviously.

>> No.50665329

>not "Walking The Golden Palace"
>not wanting to enrich yourself with the images of the holy emperor's glorious sanctum
>not liking the history lessons on the most glorious of empires, delivered by the royal guard themselves
plebians, the lot of you

>> No.50666049

That show was pretty good at first, but then they replaced that one Custodian with those three weird strippers, and the show kinda went downhill from there.

>> No.50667323


Burned as a den of heretical degeneracy

>> No.50668617

No arguments here. The "Prosperr's Vengence" Arc is the best one yet, showing off All of Magnus's millenia of Training to Avenge Prospero. And Tzeench-chan is actually being useful for once in the show.

>> No.50669119

>Not being a Rogue Trader
>Not venturing beyond known space into xenos territory so obscure the Black Library doesn't know about it
I only even have access to this website right now because we're restocking before moving on.

>> No.50669283

Can someone cap this?

>> No.50671755 [DELETED] 

>Unitonically loosing "Magnus" and "Magnus:Shippuden"
Words cannot describe how plebian this taste is.

Now this Guy's got the right Idea. AGP a Best, everything else a shit.

>> No.50671786

>Unironically liking "Magnus" and "Magnus:Shippuden"
Words cannot describe how plebian this taste is.

Now this Guy's got the right Idea. AGP a Best, everything else a shit.

>> No.50671822

If someone put the whole thread on 1d4 chan, that would be great.

It's more clever puns than most entries.

>> No.50671890

>Be me
>Guardsman, your average lasgun greenhorn who's only been in combat three times
>Told I'm going to be fighting alongside some Space Marines
>By the emperor! I'msoexcited.jpeg
>Arrive planetside, moments later the Ultramaines arrive
>I get so excited to stand and salute that I jump up off the crate I'm sitting, slip, and hit my head on the crate next to me
>My helmet meeting the metal makes a loud banging noise, now everyone is looking at me
>Everyone starts laughing, Ultramarines are just staring at me, one of them speaks to me
>"Nice job, Trippy"
>mfw my nickname for the rest of my life is Trippy
>mfw I didn't even die honorably in battle, even with a stupid nickname

Should I just be happy that my existence was at least acknowledged by a Space Marine?

>> No.50671950

How? we already worship a chaos god.

>> No.50672642

Well on the bright side, your impromptu slapstick was probably the highlight of those Space Marines' week.

>> No.50674495

Congratulations, you now have plot armor.

>> No.50674916

The Warp

>> No.50674944

>will most likely not get his death now

>> No.50674956

So, /k/ is Khorne, /b/ is Nurgle, /d/ Slaanesh and maybe /lit/ is Tzeentch?

>> No.50675045

>be me
>young man on hive world
>discover I am psyker
>tfw I am now special snowflake
>inquisition finds out I am psyker
>I am weak psyker
>become sacrifice

>> No.50675741

>only been in combat three times
> didn't even die honorably in battle
Shit fampai, you a fucking veteran

>> No.50676056

/v/ is khorne, /x/ is Tzeentch

>> No.50676115


>> No.50676165

They say Chaos has 87% chance of winning. We need to transfer our might to God Emperor! Give him your energy!

>> No.50676223


>> No.50676272

It'd be an imperial network.

And I'd be a dedicated chaosposter.

>> No.50677126

Surely you are aware that by your race's standards, Grand Magos Moot is an utter heretic, correct?

Accept the creed of Aun'Hiro.

>> No.50677158

/x/ is a little too irrevant. /pol/ is Tzeentch.

Look, all I know is that /jp/ is Malal.

>> No.50677842

>/pol/ now has inquisitorial backing
>busting chaos pedorings in the name of the Emperor

>> No.50678653


which just makes it all the more embarrassing that he did that.

>> No.50680747

/pol/ is the fucking Ecclesiarchial board, you inept fuck

>> No.50680923

tzeentch is /pol/'s all powerful JIDF boogeyman

>> No.50680956

>/pol/ is the fucking Ecclesiarchial board

>Worship god of chaos.
>Seek to overthrow current society

>> No.50681111

>not Warp Splitter: SanguiniusDorn

>> No.50681151

>reeee everyone who isn't our ideal of racial and ideological perfection get out

>> No.50683736

>Reeee worshippers of the corpse emperor are subhuman rape toys and faggots who need to be killed

>> No.50684088


The emperor is the biggest jew of them all silly goy.

>> No.50684112


>> No.50686223

Horus Heresy was a fucking inside job

>> No.50686251

>The Big E
>The Hopes, Dreams, Will, and Strength of Humanity made Manifest, Shepard of Humanity, The Saviour, The Fucking God-Emperor
>Worshiping some non-existant skybeard from ancient Terra

Nigga you just went full retard.

>> No.50686898


>> No.50687043


This makes way too much sense. Fuck.

>> No.50687821


Not everyone shares your level of autism, /pol/.

>> No.50688402

Theme song is just a bunch of Orks shouting "DA DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NAAA NANANA!


>> No.50689046

Magnus is a gateway vox program of the worst kind. It's a bad series, a clusterfuck of story and characterization that isn't very well done by any aspect, but which attempts to compensate for its weaknesses by adding in excessive heresy faggotry and PSYKERS. The normal anon can see this as the heresy it is, and may enjoy it, hate it or be indifferent to it, but all the while recognizing that the series itself, regardless of their opinion, is plain bad.
However, these very aspects that try to smear over the shit of its core make it a breeding ground for mutants, unsociable genestealers& faggots who engage in every kind of heresy both over vox channels and in the material world. The overpowered characters all trying their hardest to look cool, the spells, peculiar, colorful power armor, the whole daemon faggotry and everything about the Magnus world fuels their escapist fantasies, while the pity-party character motivations, emphasis on revenge, and overall preachiness of the series make it fit just right with the mary-sueish drives of your average psyker and his sense of unwarranted self-importance towards the world. Exactly the kind of shit that makes little cultists and hereticb& retards eat this shit right the fuck up.
Magnus is basically THE series to attract the most hated vox fanbase known to /tg/, which is why, regardless of individual opinions, it is the responsibility of every loyal citizen of the imperium to exterminatus the fuck out of this vox channel and everyone who likes it, and ensure that no Magnus threads ever encourage the tendrils of chaos to show their faces here.

>> No.50689057

>Be Tyranid Hive Mind
>Lose to Chaos anytime they sneak attack us with psychic bullshit teleportation powers
>Beat them any time we have straight up fight like at Shadowbrink or that time we used Trygons to wreck an Iron Warriors fortification
>Somehow, this makes Chaos think it can totally take all several octillion of us in battle

Chaos really has their head up their asses, don't they? We mean, fuck, even if they take this galaxy, we can just go to another one.

We miss that galaxy that was entirely Orks. That was fun. Why are they the only one of you pathetic milky wayers to leave your galaxy? One Necron did but then he shit his pants and ran home once he saw us as a hormagaunt.

>> No.50689191

>this whole thread

>> No.50690367


>> No.50690404

>>What would 4chan be like in the time of 40k?
>The Eye of Terror.

>> No.50690428

if true..

Malal= Kek ?

chaos magic = Meme Magic?

so in essense .. Trump is not the true emperor to bring in the age of enlightement but instead is Horus?

>> No.50690467

Where the fuck did you come from, anyway? The maps show that you're coming from almost everywhere, so it can't have been from just one galaxy.

>> No.50690515

>Where the fuck did you come from, anyway? The maps show that you're coming from almost everywhere, so it can't have been from just one galaxy.

nids are like mexicans crossing the us border. so fucking many you cant stop them from coming. you can only just start shipping em back or shooting them.

they come to the us and eat up all the wellfare resources.

>> No.50691519 [DELETED] 

>hating on God Emperor

>> No.50691543

>Not watching I'm a member of the emperor's finest get me out of here!

I tell you, those whacky antics in the death world camps and the shit they talk about eachother in the diary rooms.
I'm just mainly watching it till Orcstenders gets good again though.

>> No.50693451

We have consumed your neighboring galaxies and are on approach from multiple attack vectors. It's actually rather funny. If you look at it from a distance, it looks like a giant pair of jaws about to eat you all.

We think it's funny, at least.

>> No.50695154

You can join us if you like. You know you want to.

But if you do, don't forget, you're here forever.

>> No.50697472

Oh these, These so much! Guelaboos and Mangus fanboys are the two worst kinds of people. I had to game with both at the same time once.

>Be me, Tau Earth Caste, although since I live on a Tau Empire-Imperium borderworld the whole Caste thing doesn't matter as much
>Guela Friend is DMing game of "Greater Good: Desperate Alliance"
>Am first to arrive at his living quarters where he hosts game, we talk and he reveals that he was no idea who the players are and say he had put an admup on PathFinder
>First to Arrive is Fire Caste, total Guelaboo
>She comes in dressed in what looks like a parody of an Imperium officer uniform,
>Can not stop bothering DM with inane questions about Guela culture and The Imperial Guard
>Why would he know about that? He was born and raised here? The questions are making him uncomfortable.
>Second Person is Small, Scrawny, Guela dressed in the clothes so edgy and dark you would thing he was Malal himself
>Looked absolutely angry so didn't talk to him much.
>He just sits there and occasionally scoffs at the
>Last Person is this large round Guela. Totally Neckbeard but not in a bad way
>Is very Nice and Polite, Doesn't act like an Autist, and is the only other one besides me and DM who brought snacks
>We settle down and get ready to read off our characters
>I'm playing greenhorn Tau Fire Caste soldier,
>Guelaboo is Playing Mary Sue Gaurdsmen
>His character sheet has Tau and Imperium Tech Expertise, explosives bonus
>His backstory is that he was the best Officer in the Gener 99th who was popular with his and led a bunch of important charges and who, instead of dying on an exploded shuttle, had jump-packed to safety and built an escap shuttle off planet to join the Anti-Chaos Alliance forces.
>He was also very sympathetic and respectful towards Tau Empire and People
>I shit you you not, this chick had brought here make-believe husbando to the table
>Eventually DM manages to convince her to tone it down.

>> No.50698143

>Malal wannabe is playing some Brooding Loner Guela Psyker with the edgiest backstory I have ever seen.
>He was beaten by his parents, who were murdered by Scum when he was seven, and then beaten by them until they were Killed by the Inquisition when he was eleven, who then beat and tortured him until he was thirteen.
>At that point his rage had built up until he had been able to summon his own personal demon to murder them all.
>Instead of being murdered by this demon or corrupted to Khorne, he instead somehow figures out how to banish it.
>So he gets all broody and goes to learn how to control his "Dark Powers"
>It just skirted the line of stupidity, but crunch wise it was balanced and DM was out of patience so he let it slide
>Good guy Roundy played an arrogant Eldar ranger, who viewed the "lesser races" with contempt but had begrudgingly joined the alliance to prevent the Victory of Slannesh
>Ironically, despite being an Arrogant Eldar, his character ended up being the most cooperative and reasonable of bunch
>We were all part of special forces squad against Chaos
>Sent to World eliminate the Head Cultist who was apparently granted Power by Abbadon to control the Daemon Armies.
>Guelaboo insisted that her character try to do everything, from face to bomb defusal, even though she had no skills
>Edgy just stood in a corner brooding and refusing to listen to anybody
>Would only ever act when there was a combat situation
>The First time he failed his "Perils of Warp Check" he threw a bitchfit
>Kept giving DM dirty looks afterwards
>also Kept trying to come on to me through his character,
>Thankfully DM and Roundy kept cockblocking him
>I was thinking of leaving, but then things went to shit
>Guelaboo and Edgy had gotten into a rather heated IC arguement that was quickly becoming OoC.
>It all went to hell when the Fire Caste chicks character shot Edgy's Character
>That was when he tried to fireball her, failed, and sucked Both of them into the Warp.

>> No.50698373

>They're argument gets really loud and really angry really quickly
>DM tries to defuse the situation but it' s not happening
>Next thing I know, the Fire Caste Guelaboo is holding holding a laspistol in her hand, firing shots off randomly, as she tries to push Edgy off of her as he tries to stab her with long knife, and the DM is clutching his arm in pain.
>Luckily, Roundy turned out to be an off duty Police Officer and was able to incapacitate them while I called the Police and attemped to give the DM first aid
>Fortunately, The Guelaboo's laspistol had been a shitty, homemade low power one, and the shot had just grazed his arm, so it was still mostly intact
>The Police come, The Edgelord and Fire Caste Chick are arrested, and paramedics come to pick up the DM,
>DM eventually recovered, thankfully.
>After that I made the DM swear to have some sort of screening process
>The game was obviously over then and there, but we still occassionally play with Roundy

Seriously though, Guelaboos and Magnusfags, Never again.

>> No.50699890

Holy shit that was wild from start to finish.

>> No.50703027

Holy Throne, what the Fuck?!

>> No.50703655

Makes me wonder, where did this 'Guelaboo' stuff come from? Don't get me wrong, I like it, it tickles my fancy, just... where?

t. curious Guardsman

>> No.50703725


>> No.50703761

Fuckin Ciaphas Cain, Gaunt's Ghosts, and AGP. You'ld be surprised at how much good media can influence people, even those of other species.

>> No.50703810


Xenos who understand how pathetic they are in comparison to the glory of mankind and attempt to emulate us.Of course since they are degenerate xenos the effort is doomed from the start and they only manage to become more pathetic in their desperate attempts to copy us.

>> No.50705034

to be fair at least their trying to attempt to be less shit, even if they are hilarious failures on par with failbaddon the armless one.

>> No.50705098

Now that's a bit harsh Anon. Nothing could be as much of a failure as Old Topknot himself.

>> No.50705113

eh you got a good point.

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