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47298867 No.47298867 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Is it wrong that I fuck with peasant daughters rather than tavern wenches? I mean I get to have a clean snatch plus its free.

>> No.47298903


It's wrong if you leave her with either a bastard or a promise that you will come back.

You are literally Hitler if you leave her with both those things.

>> No.47298910

A tavern wench is already a wench. But leaving a peasant daughter knocked up will not only be a problem to her, but also her whole family.

Now start caring about what you do to those fictional girls.

>> No.47298945

A. Chances are i might be back depending on how much traveling to and fro we do so me promising i'll be back isn't empty AND i have a greater chance at her later than if i just showed up one day years later.
B. How small are the chances either of us would even know she's pregnant before i gotta hop town to stop the new BBEG? I don't really have control of that unless i can convince the cleric, or if i am the cleric, to do cure disease on her just in case. And if i was the cleric i'd be banging everyone cause STD's and pregnancies suddenly wouldn't be an issue.

>> No.47298956

Pick one.
... Though, arguably, that depends on your setting.
When in doubt, pick elves

>> No.47298981
File: 762 KB, 1112x1620, 084[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Is it wrong that I fuck with peasant daughters rather than tavern wenches?
Only if you refuse to take responsibility. It takes a special kind of asshole to corrupt what's pure and innocent.

>> No.47298986


You are an adventurer, your lifespan is shorter than that of a mayfly.

Peasants usually don't have access to potions or spells that make sure they can't get pregnant, and all the typical medieval anti-pregnancy shit is either straight up poison or disgusting as all fuck.

And by "You will come back" usually means that you are planning on marrying that bitch, not just for a booty-call.

Let's be honest here, if you stroll up to some peasant girl and ask to fuck with little to no chance she isn't going to get fat with a bastard in her belly, and the man doing it is probably going to wind up dead in the next week from a stray trap, she is probably going to say no.

>> No.47299019

I dunno man. I'm like 95% survival rate so far and about half of them achieve some form of immortality.

>> No.47299024


>> No.47299050


You have a very soft DM.


Contrary to proper belief, while women in the middle ages were comparably easy to modern equivalents, they were also smart enough to not fuck around if it means having to provide for another mouth and potential death.

>> No.47299076

Leave her with a Martial Script of Iron Heart Surge and it's fine.

>> No.47299079

>while women in the middle ages were comparably easy to modern equivalents
>they were also smart enough to not fuck around if it means having to provide for another mouth and potential death
That contradicts itself. There's a reason why the sexual revolution was a revolution: women were 'liberated' from the consequences of their actions. It also helps that women married very young, mostly in their teents. Young brides helps the whole "virgin bride" thing.

>> No.47299099


Eh, that doesn't necessarily contradict itself, it just means that while they fucked around more often, they were also very careful about taking precautions.

Sheepskin condoms, lemon wedge in cooter, crocodile dung in vagina, etc.

>> No.47299126

Your fucking some would be adventurers childhood friend

>> No.47299140

Pull out method.
Hasn't failed me yet.

>> No.47299143
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You wouldn't touch a peasant without first paying a dowry, would you?

>> No.47299146
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>all of that

>> No.47299192



>> No.47299220
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>> No.47299241

Well, since a good chunk of my characters tend to be the honorable grizzled veteran. If i'm plowing some virgin soil it means i'm planning on marrying.

And since Adventurers tend to go on the extremes of being awfully rich to really well armed beggars. So if i have the money i would probably pay the expanses of the family so they don't have to worry about their daughter.

>> No.47299248

several. I just tend to ask around about dm's prior to actually playing with them so i know if i should utterly avoid them, come in with an actual fun character, or be a minmaxing munchkin. Sure its a bit of work but i very rarely get horror story tier games this way.

>> No.47299268

PC is cleric.

Can perform own wedding ceremony.

Every time he visits he leaves her and the kids with a "bit of coin to be getting on with".

If she spent it al at once it would collapse the national economy at this point

Family want for nothing.

>> No.47299270
File: 16 KB, 236x217, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.47299287

Wait. Why the tears? Something didn't fucking happen to Shindol did it? The world would be to cold a place without him as the sun to warm our souls.

>> No.47299295

Oh christ. Please tell me nothing happened. I'm fucking worried now.

>> No.47299387

Everything he does has a bad end for everyone involved, it's the saddest pornography.

>> No.47299396

But my PC is a peasant daughtee

>> No.47299428

Well minus the happy loli and wheelchair waifu. And the futa couple. And i recall one other. Also midna and zelda seemed pretty psyched at the end.
In all seriousness though thats why i love the guy.

>> No.47299526

Buy some contraceptive potions at the next town.
The problem here isn't that the wench is a wench. The tavern wench's entire family is probably the byblows of adventurers who passed through town. She was taught from a young age not to believe you when you say you will come back and to use contraceptives if she doesn't want your baby.

I miss when every woman was assumed to be a demonic temptress just waiting for a cock so she could put a name to her weird, subconscious longing, and every man was supposed to conserve his semen or he'd end up weak, poor, stupid, and sissified.

The GM is planning on having this happen later. Anon knocked up the childhood friend of another adventurer, he's going to make sure he does right by her... or else.

You have a very soft GM. We established this.

>> No.47299537

Thats a LOT of gold i won't be able to use on equipment to stay alive. Fuck that noise.

>> No.47299555

Pullout guy is a different guy and i already told you its across like 30 different DM's at this point.

>> No.47299556

See if you can get a charm that imitates the results of a vasectomy while you are using it. Or fuck a woman who is likely to be using contraceptives.

>> No.47299564

30 DMs who have had terrible sex education.

>> No.47299578

I want you to download the "Treegasm" episode of "Ugly Americans" and fast forward to the part where the Wizard loses his virginity to a peasant.

Fucking disgusting.

The entire reason I got involved in this noble quest is to slam some noble pussy that's been scented, primed, and maybe worked over by a magic sculptor to be able to engorge into a dick after I come into BECAUSE THAT'S MY FETISH.

> Implying Tavern wenches aren't still peasant daughters

I mean, I don't know where YOU think they come from, but I'm pretty sure they're the same thing in a different place.

>> No.47299750

A proper pull out isn't as risky as you might think. Condoms are only marginally better.

Key word is proper.

>> No.47299756

No, if you are ready for shotgun wedding

>> No.47299826

Bitch i hunt dragons for a living and routinely rekill liches, you think you could get me to stay for a wedding i want no part in.
Honestly though that dad should thank me he's gonna have a super kid who can plow all the fields ever everywhere forever. Pun possibly intended.

>> No.47299842
File: 187 KB, 1024x768, stronghold-crusader-extreme-arts-02.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why waste time on fucking bitches when you can spend time on killing witches?

>> No.47299843

>Bitch i hunt dragons for a living and routinely rekill liches
Plot twist: dad is anciet dragon or god.

>> No.47299870


It doesn't contradict itself at all, the sexual revolution freed women of consequences, but once freed of consequences they immediately turned to fucking the top 20% of men, and almost exclusively those top 20%.

Peasant girls were typically fine with whatever cock they got, as long as it put cash in her hand and nothing in her belly. The whole "virgin bride" thing was unique to the nobility, and while virginity was admired in the lower classes it wasn't treated as the rule.

Villages were genetic puddles almost a generation away from becoming inbred, these people were probably damn fine with whatever foreign blood came in.

>> No.47299880

I've been known to kill both. Sometimes they actually overlap.

>> No.47299896

Your DM is a big guy with big heart

>> No.47299906


>top 20%

The fuck you are talking about.

The whole 20/60 ratio comes from pre-agricultural times where dna sampling showed that there were more mothers than fathers. Most people turn this into some sort of fucking sick chad fantasy yet there is simple explanation. Times were hard. Most of men died.

>> No.47299921

Because they can't get pussy means that most men don't get pussy.

>> No.47299949

>Most of men died.
Gender rations in humans are actually a bit biased towards baby boys because of that.

>> No.47299971

Buh that is how Adventurers are born!

>> No.47299978

Oh shindol, you draw such sweet girls but then do terrible things to them. I just wanted to give her a hug and save her from the path of corruption. At least she's friends with the mc of that gender bending manga he dis so she has a comrade in sluttyness.

>> No.47299988

Different anon here. I can't be arsed to look it up cause i need some damned sleep but okcupid, eharmony, and a few others did some studies based on their own sites results.
Routinely across the board it went something like this
10/10 women only went for men 10-8/10
9/10 went for 10-8/10
8/10 9-7/10
7/10 9-7/10
6-2/10 8-5/10
1/10 7-4/10
This is by success rate mind you so women that went for 10's but were say 1/10 themselves and didn't succeed in gaining a relationship are not represented as literally every category of women vastly prefered anything 7 and above.
Oddly enough that is about 20% of the male population but that doesn't mean those lower on the scale won't "settle" for "lower quality" men.

>> No.47300014

Is that the future hooker to be? If so she actually gets a happy ending in ch.7 in the after life after she OD's cause youths kicked her unborn baby to death like i said, ShindoL seems to end like 70% of his series and oneshots with a happy ending even if that means a few chapters of bad.

>> No.47300067


Yeah but its still fucking dating site. Its bit biased desu. Not only it attracts certain people with certain mindset, but also certain age.

Also as far as i remember most of accounts are male so its pretty normal that smaller pop, of women will be picky given the opportunity.


>> No.47300131

>Gender rations in humans are actually a bit biased towards baby boys because of that.
Not really, rather human population long since adapted to weed out excessive males and it became integral part of our behaviour. Females have higher mortality rate during pregnancy. My great great grandfather had 6 adult sons, 2 sons who died at childhood and not a single daughter. Apparently, all girls were stillborn due to some X-chromosome related disorder.

>> No.47300164

Its the best and largest data collection we can get that was as unbiased a can be.
The next best was sitting 200 women down at a time and having them rate men based first on looks then again but with made up info like job type, issues that run in the family, and yearly income. Every step of the way they were asked who they would pick after the ratings were done. Again 7+ only across the board but the issue was they unbiasedly rated on looks then when the info came in 10/10 rating dropped to 5/10 when the info showed things like lower income or bad jobs like a barista but suddenly 4/10's were being rated 10/10 cause they were plastic surgeons or had no negatives in the "runs in the family" department but still out of those shifting ratings it was all above 7/10 and up.

>> No.47300185

>Females have higher mortality rate during pregnancy.
Yeah, but more men die before reproductive age.
> Apparently, all girls were stillborn due to some X-chromosome related disorder.
That's a genetic abonormality on your part.

>> No.47300244

>while women in the middle ages were comparably easy to modern equivalents

>> No.47300303


It's strange, but my PCs generally aim for the girl who's The One. You know, to produce perfect ubermensch children and all that.

Even in Exalted, my Solar was monogamous because you can't get more perfect than your Lunar mate, god damn it.

>> No.47300311

>Peasant daughters
>Clean snatch

I see someone only knows "ye olde medieval time" from Hollywood.

Anon, people fucking like rabbits in the countryside is one of the reasons the church became super butthurt and prude during the dark ages and had to make up rules when and how people are only allowed to fuck.

>> No.47300316

>That's a genetic abonormality on your part.
That's abnormality is hidden within our DNA. All of us, including you my anon, carry at least dozen lethal genetic disorders that never kicked in. In case of my grandparents they both carried combination that prevented my great great grandmother from carrying daughters to term. Mortality during pregnancy is more common than many people think. Sometimes "missed periods" are a sign of conception that was naturally aborted very early.
>Yeah, but more men die before reproductive age.
Genetics and procreation of previous generation comes first. They die because nature has nothing better to do with them or it has evolutional benefits for the species. If genotypes with increased female prenatal mortality survive, what nature can do about it? Boys dying before reproductive age supplement lack of females and reduce pressure on population.

>> No.47300328

>the dark ages

>> No.47300383

>All of us, including you my anon, carry at least dozen lethal genetic disorders that never kicked in.
Which is why incest is so dangerous. People within the same family are more likely to be carriers of the same horrible disease, which means the chance of that disease expressing itself in their offspring goes up from about 0% to about 25%. That's also why Paki's are overrepresented in the "horrible disease" category: Islamic cultures are more consanguinous than most other cultures

>> No.47300429

For you

>> No.47300444

D&D 'middle ages' aren't kinda THE Middle Ages, more like early reinessance

>> No.47300475
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Nothing like deflowering a maiden and promising to be at her side for the rest of her days. Worth more than all the gold and exp

>> No.47300502
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>/tg/ thread simulator

>> No.47300515
File: 404 KB, 800x939, Pretty_Clown_Lady_4.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Nothing wrong with that but why not meet a nice traveling entertainer and make her your wife so that way you can adventure together and amass a fortune.

The entertainer is probably wiser and smarter than some random village girl anyways.

>> No.47300580

Its funny how she's drawn with slut face.

>> No.47300621

The whole reason we let girls into adventuring and mercenaries companies is so we can have a formal or informal morale officer corps

>> No.47300630

She's probably a huge slut.

>> No.47300644

you're drawn with a slut face, man

>> No.47300645

>slut face
u wot lad?

>> No.47300692
File: 130 KB, 832x690, 1458802598330.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>2/3 of male messages go to the top 1/3 of women.

>So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten.

Women are more likely to message medium and unattractive guys than men are to do the same.

Now, where are your sources?

>> No.47300694


>> No.47300698

Looks like a petite slut to me, unless she has a corset.

>> No.47300715

>Low-level village making game
>My character is sweet on a same-age farm girl from the village
>Her dad is dead but her tough successful farming mom doesn't approve, thinks the local Gaston-type fellow is a better match
>Despite her mom's repeated refusals and attempts to drive him off, even with threats of violence, my guy persists because he's a young romantic
>The mom comes to find him amusing and even respects his persistence a little, no way in hell am I getting anywhere with her daughter but he deserves something...
>Her mom ends up luring my guy into a relationship

Mean DM, the Gaston guy still got the peasant girl. I guess at least some small benefit that her mom isn't all bad, and is one of the better off people in town with the biggest farm and a mill, so my guy's living standards improved a good bit.

>> No.47300724

>Women are more likely to message medium and unattractive guys than men are to do the same.
Women are also significantly less likely to message men in the fist place. The most messaged men probably get less messages than then least messaged women.

>> No.47300735

There isn't anything to really discern her size if no normal-sized slut is standing next to her.

>> No.47300769

So what you're saying that without a reference point, she's some sort of Schrodinger slut?

>> No.47300778

Do not question the dub-trips.

>> No.47300783


We don't have any official sources, but we can make a lot of assumptions based on living conditions and primary sources.

For example, there existed an herb in Europe that, when brewed or chewed, prevented conception (I think it even served as an abortive). It was so effective, that this herb is only known through written sources as it was harvested to extinction.

The average peasant would have known what sex is from a very early age; there weren't many rooms in a house and mom n' dad would probably go at it fairly regular. They would also see bulls mounting cows, stallions mounting mares and dogs fucking dogs. By the time they hit their teens, they *knew* what sex was and how it was done.

There was also the matter of time; while harvest season was 12 hour days for almost a full month, while the fields were barren or the crops were ripening there was really not much else to do; yes, you'd be working an 8 hour day tending the animals or maintaining the plans/house, but that still leaves hours upon hours of free time in a period where you didn't read, you didn't watch tv and you didn't have electronics. The day would end by nightfall, but that leaves a solid 4-5 hours of just *nothing.*

Consider too, the stories given by the peasant folk in Canterbury Tales. The squire gave sweeping sagas of courtly intrigue, but the crofter and his wife? I believe his story was nothing but fart jokes, sexual innuendos and cuckoldry. I believe there was another peasant in the group, and his story was equally lewd and raunchy.

See >>47299870 as well, people simply didn't expect virginity the same way nobility did; virgins were valued for their chastity and self-control, but they were not considered "necessary."

>> No.47300801

>One interesting thing seems to be going on here: when the best-looking men write the worst-looking women, taste the rainbow,
of self-esteem issues their message success rate takes a big hit. The knee-jerk response would be to somehow chalk it up to hunky spammers, but we very carefully control for that in these articles, and in any event why would better-looking girls be drastically more susceptible to it? It seems to be some kind of self-confidence thing.

Do you have a source for your claim?

>> No.47300806
File: 198 KB, 443x750, Pretty_Clown_Lady_2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Gentleanons please why can't we just enjoy some fine performers?

>> No.47300817


That was not the afterlife, she was imagining how things might have been if she was able to kick her addiction.

>> No.47300829

No, because I repeatedly heard that everyone gets Schrödingers slut wrong, so I won't use that.

We just need the most normal-sized slut out there.

>> No.47300842
File: 231 KB, 600x800, Modern_Bard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

There are many types of entertainers...

>>47300829 Perhaps this one would be normal sized?

>> No.47300858

Oh hey one of Naughty Jesters Characters that someone else claimed, NEAT.

>> No.47300864

That was a bretty good fap.

>> No.47300869
File: 48 KB, 876x1743, Mad_Moxxi_Cosplay.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Fair enough.

>> No.47300891
File: 105 KB, 1280x720, Schrodinger_OVA_5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

So, how do you get Schrödingers slut right?

>> No.47300899
File: 167 KB, 398x269, 312.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>actually fapping to ShindoL
>not reading for plot

>> No.47300939

Don't know, ask /sci/ about Schrödingers slut. But I heard they are faggots and don't know how to handle sluts.

>> No.47300955
File: 572 KB, 1112x1299, 1457538645456.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Let me fix that image for ya'.

>> No.47300960

What? You expect me to read about a girl getting pushed around and slowly degenerating as her life falls apart and not fap?
C'mon anon

>> No.47300998
File: 755 KB, 1112x1299, 1463500472957.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

almost, anon, almost

>> No.47301023

>You expect me to read about a girl getting pushed around and slowly degenerating as her life falls apart and not fap?
I sincerely hope your highschool didn't make you read Les Misérables...

>> No.47301049
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I think I got it.

>> No.47301095
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God damnit anon...

>> No.47301147
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>> No.47301285

>that pic
Is she taking a bite out of a raw tomato, like its a fucking apple or something?! Who does that?

>> No.47301329

Geralt calm down

>> No.47301491
File: 973 KB, 1024x576, 1330631575399.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Then they would be even less prudish to fucking.

I find this idea that people have that peasant girls would be more pure than wenches kinda hilarious, especially if you consider that there really werent that many possibilites to pass time besides work.

>> No.47301557

People who really like tomatoes. I mean the iron chef guy does it with peppers, what's a tomato in comparison?

>> No.47301560

It looks like she is talking to someone off camera while picking tomatoes.

>> No.47301591

People seem attached to the idea that the past was purer. Like how everyone thinks all young people in the 50s did was drink malt shakes and kiss because they're too dumb to pick up on the subtle innuendo in music of the era.

>> No.47301617
File: 118 KB, 668x623, Peasant_Swag.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tavern wenches aren't a subset of peasants
>implying either of those are clean
>implying you're not paying one way or the other
>implying this isn't literally plebian taste

I mean, this is a fantasy world, but still...

>> No.47301647

Even Aristotle complained that "kids today" were the spawn of Satan and would cause society to crumble.

>> No.47301672

Don't know, this whole "everyone had raunchy sex and no one was a virgin!" seems to be a zeitgeisty thing as well, coinciding with the popularity of GoT.

>> No.47301712

Yeah, especially with a severe lack of contraceptives and a tighter grip of religion.

Not saying people didn't fool around, but the idea that peasants and farmers worked like 4 hours a day and spent every other waking minute having sex is just dumb. Plenty of historical works and texts showing how there was never a lack of things for people to entertain themselves with, it's not like TV invented wasting time.

>> No.47301796


You know, actually I'm not that sure that in a pseudo-medieval setting city dwellers have more access to clean-ish water than rural ones.

>> No.47301812

Yeah, loads of shit to do. You could go drink, play card-games or jacks, gamble, gossip, talk to people, spend time with kids or other relatives you might have, play and watch ball-games that vaguely resemble soccer or rugby, watch chicken-fights, do stuff related to religion, see traveling performers once in a blue moon, listen to someone play music, watch public punishments when they come up, hear the town crier talk about news, all kinds of stuff.

>> No.47301847
File: 478 KB, 697x441, 1 2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>crocodile dung in vagina

Please don't do this

>> No.47302127

Is she eating hay or something?

At least in Aristotle's day young adults (who, let's be honest, are fucking retarded) didn't have half the influence they have today.

>> No.47302188
File: 85 KB, 640x640, 1441491104876.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>The next campaign revolves around a group of bastard children finding out they are of the same relation, getting together, and trying to chase down their deadbeat dad.

>> No.47302254


Presuming she's from a small village where inbreeding is fairly common, then you'd actually be doing her a favor.

>> No.47302291

I'm stealing this idea, thanks.

>> No.47302306

a mix of hay and grains

>> No.47302311

>tfw DM did this but with a deadbeat mom

Well maybe not deadbeat but she was a BBEG so had more important things to do than raise kids.

>> No.47302344

You've clearly never spent time around Italians, they eat tomatoes raw like it's a treat.

>> No.47302419

Man, I guess some people really are afraid of vegetables.
There's an actual bite out of the tomato, though. Did you even look at the picture?

>> No.47302422

I just offer a Remove Disease spell as part of my foreplay. Keeps me safe, leaves her better than I found her, and you'd be surprised how far 150 GP worth of free Spellcasting goes towards getting a girl's attention.

>> No.47302457

This. I'm surprised that so few roleplayers take advantage of the whole "I have useful skills and abilities I can share with you!" thing in ways that aren't "good" or "evil", but just mundane, friendly, sociable self interest.

>> No.47302482

>Man, I guess some people really are afraid of vegetables.
large portions of murricans have never seen unprocessed vegetable in their life, so...

Also tomato is a fruit.

>> No.47302491

Why are Italians the most degenerate europeans?

Tomatoes are fruits, ya git

>> No.47302516

Because we collectively refuse to acknowledge Turks as Europeans.

>> No.47302519

>Italians the most degenerate europeans
Close, but no cigar. It's clearly the greeks. The italians are second, swiftly followed by the french.
and this

>> No.47302561

I do the same and then baleful polymorph them into the family cow/goat/horse so that I can steal the animal without issue

>> No.47302639

>literally Hitlee
Tumblr pls

>> No.47302714

What degenerate country are you from, to formulate such a retarded opinion ?

>> No.47302757


To explain it to the likes of you, sometimes when it's really hot outside, there's no pleasure like picking a ripe fruit and just eating it while basking in the sun.

Understandably, it's not something basement dwellers know or comprehend.

>> No.47302784

Isn't that an Adam Sandler movie?

>> No.47302800

Look, here's the deal;

If I'm an adventurer with 16 Charisma and a sword at my side and I roll into a little village on my way to some quest? 'Eryone gettin' fucked.

Tavern girls? Check. Farmer's daughters? Check. Merchant's wives? Check. Noble women in fancy dresses? Check. Nearby elves? Check.

And then you leave. Because there's always more villages.

>> No.47302845
File: 30 KB, 400x321, Ultimate Degenerate.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.47302884
File: 19 KB, 576x432, blech.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>refreshing or thirst quenching in any way
>in a climate where grapes can be grown just as easily
Mediterranean's are the worst.

>> No.47302923

You say that like its a bad thing.

>> No.47302927
File: 201 KB, 394x652, 1418503469287.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I like a barmaid that can bust heads. Why would I take some random peasant over someone with experience in both ways?

>> No.47303054

A dowry is when the bride's dad pays YOU to marry her. Typically done during arranged marriages. When you pay the bride's family to marry her, it's a bride-price.

>> No.47303134

I know a frog when I see one, stop posting.

>> No.47303290

>The tavern wench's entire family is probably the byblows of adventurers who passed through town.

Wouldn't this make the tavern keeper families heirs to several powerful magical bloodlines, fortunes, and divine destinies?

>> No.47303308

Incidentally, Medieval peasants did have a lot of sex in churches.

>> No.47303515

Could I get a source on that? Seriously, I know medieval society was a little freeier than we usually think, but churches were still sacred.

>> No.47303534

>tomato is a fruit
Yeah, but people dumb enough to be scared of vegetables are dumb enough to think that tomatoes apply. That, and tomatoes are biologically a fruit and a culinary vegetable; the culinary classification is more traditional, which is why not everyone knows or cares about the fruity nature of tomatoes. It doesn't help that "vegetable" isn't a scientific classification, much like "clam".

>> No.47303550

And besides, everyone knows Churches are smelly. That is what people say Pee-yew at least 8 or 9 times each time I have been there.

>> No.47303567

Growing grapes is great, but you're picking tomatoes in this scenario. If you were picking grapes, you'd munch grapes. Are you retarded?

>> No.47303679

Still remember back when we made level 4 NPC class characters who had a single encounter before turning into a level 1 PC class.

My PC was a young peasant daughter who was training at the local herbalist, before being dragged into shit by the DMPC, along with the rest of the characters.

The DMPC left us at level 3 for story related reasons, and never rejoined, so that was fine, but I was kinda miffed that the rest of the party was a grizzled woodsman who became a hunter, another was a burly blacksmith who became a warrior, and the last was a righteous man of the clergy with a knack for heroism who became a paladin.

My character was a skill rogue who was borderline useless in combat, because fuck the healslut meme

>> No.47303733

And apparently Hally Lewyah is a really important lady.

>> No.47303766

Nobody has only 1 kind of crop; that's how soil becomes useless. If you want to munch something, do it while picking grapes.
Don't eat tomatoes raw, because it's not thirst quenching, refreshing, or satisfying in any way.

>> No.47303784

And for some reason everyone hates Sara Cenn and her friend... or maybe her husband, Moe Hammed.

>> No.47303813

It's not about being thirsty or hot, it's about picking a fruit off your garden and eating it out in the sun because you can.

But again, you may not have the required brain functions that allow you to derive pleasure from such an activity.

I'll stop posting when there's not a cloud over your inbred-riddled island, cochon d'anglais.

>> No.47303831
File: 112 KB, 600x969, d23e9efd345c270f1dfb90b354d06444.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Please do not look on the generous curves of a farmers daughter.
Please do not look at her as she works up some sweat as she exerts herself with her work.
Please do not offer to help her, your hand grazing hers.
Please do not eventually strike up a relationship with the girl just at the age of proper womanhood.
Please do not eventually kiss her, pinning her against the wall as she relents.
Please do not lift that skirt of hers up to reveal pale, full thighs that want nothing more than to wrap and lock around your hips.
Please do not grab or squeeze those child bearing hips she possesses, your other hand seeking to take off her top to reveal supple and full breasts.
Please do not fill her like her fingers never could, leaving her gasping for more
Please do not cum inside of her no-longer-virgin inner depths, impregnating her fertile womb.
Please do not do that over and over with her, turning her into a devoted, loving mother and wife

>> No.47303832

>If you want to munch something, do it while picking grapes.
The whole point is that there's nothing wrong with tomatoes. A tomato off the vine, warm from the sun is sweet, juicy, and delicious.

You're just an idiot for thinking that since you don't get any refreshment from tomatoes, that no one else can.

>> No.47303847

Fuck you frog, you know you're the third most degenerate country in Europe and you fucking love it.

>> No.47303850
File: 535 KB, 268x215, 1449519767315.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You... you can stay.

>> No.47303888

>Nobody has only 1 kind of crop; that's how soil becomes useless.
Having only 1 kind of crop at a time(!) is okay, that's how crop rotation works. You plant something else next year.
There's additional risk that if any disease or pests strike the crops you lose everything while with mixed crops you might only lose some, but that has nothing to do ruining soil.

>> No.47303921

If you look at average use vs perfect use 1 in 6 monogamous couples using condoms as birth control will have a baby within the year. Magical birth control probably works way better.

Yes. Which is why they can own a business frequented by drunk adventurers.

>> No.47303922
File: 1.10 MB, 1280x720, 1451220554889.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Years later
>The pitter-patter of three pairs of little feet fill your cozy cabin
>Your children ask you for permission to go exploring in the woods
>You give in
>Your wife gives you a knowing glance

>> No.47303936
File: 38 KB, 398x381, show me your failed seduction roll.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Forget her, can I have you? You're much more erudite.

No, seriously, be my DM.

>> No.47303946

Can I report this, does this count as erping?

>> No.47303958

Please do, it will certainly lead to it.

>> No.47303981

No it doesn't. Not yet.

>> No.47304016
File: 128 KB, 718x1000, f4031fba82f2763cffe57b488a77850d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why should I stay anon? I bet you also like the idea of introducing pure and innocent women like priestesses into darker paths.

Giving her initial, curious glances as you see her helping the poor and innocent.
Offering her a hand when her burden is too much.
Slowly introducing other thoughts in her. A slight brush of the thigh, a whisper of how she looks that day.
Slowly making her feel like a woman, rather than just a priestess.
Catching her on a cool day, while she practices her choir singing alone.
Telling her she has the voice of an angel, befitting her gods grace.
Seeking a passionate embrace from her as her pent up emotions burst out, her unable to control them anymore...
Bending her over the altar.

But I probably shouldn't go on.

>> No.47304034

what a pleb. I'm from colder climate and i still munch some raw tomatoes from time to time, it's just nice. sheeh, accept the fact that people do it and move on

>> No.47304041
File: 67 KB, 332x300, 1413759321290.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I bet you also like the idea of introducing pure and innocent women like priestesses into darker paths.


>> No.47304064
File: 72 KB, 600x529, 1463438935075.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.47304065

The Ridiculous Six, it's out in Netflix.

It's not that bad.

>> No.47304068

>bending her over the altar

that's just sacrilegious there. Can't I just take her to a bed? I don't want to have a lady going through a religious crisis because I couldn't keep it in my pants.

>> No.47304087

Look, I'm with you for all of that.

Except the last thing. I don't have time for making wives out of farmgirls, because there are other farmgirls and wives I still need to meet.

>> No.47304116
File: 313 KB, 620x877, 1453566775833.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

now this is not some peasant fucking it's a sin, you little bard piece of shit. This is the last time i see you in my town, next time i'll cut off this prick of yours before you can profane any more servants of god. Begone, now, you devilish spawn!

>> No.47304130

>implying pregnancy is a disease

>> No.47304147
File: 64 KB, 374x374, 1399578805883.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Catholic dwarves

>> No.47304148

>bending her over the altar
>not marrying her in the church she serves and having her bear good, God-fearing children.

You went full pleb anon.

>> No.47304157
File: 165 KB, 800x567, 1461744342661.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Well anon, that's why you teach her faith comes in other forms like love and devotion and sometimes it's okay to do bad things.

But if you really must at least offer some reverence to the gods there's always taking her to a bed and letting her learn what it means to worship in a whole other way, hands on your chest as she rides.

I'm probably not as good as DM as you hoe anon, I am sorry. The last game I ran was literally by the seat of my pants and with 0 preplanning between sessions.

>> No.47304164


This is cringeworthy shit and I hope you understand that.

By the way, peasant girls won't have particularly good curves, especially the ones that work the fields. The nutrition simply isn't there.

>> No.47304182

Don't worry, she will still be praising god on a nightly basis.

>> No.47304193


Isn't that how you take a Huldra for wife? Marry her in a church?

>> No.47304196
File: 58 KB, 531x471, dTGZBmL.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Praising god once per day

>> No.47304206
File: 103 KB, 422x600, 1399073580374.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not sure whether or not this makes them peasants anymore or not, but her father could be an upper Third Estate landowner who, while not particularly rich, is still well-fed.

Or they could be peasants from a prosperous and fertile region that consistently has a food surplus, whatever.

>> No.47304210
File: 620 KB, 1920x1080, Our GM flaked, could you take over instead.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Now that's better, I like cowgirl style. And hell, at least you know how to DM. So many people are afraid to even try.

>> No.47304223

Well where else are you going to marry someone, heathen?

>> No.47304251
File: 243 KB, 600x478, despairect.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


There has never been and will never be a better context to use this image.

>> No.47304264


The idea is taking a Huldra without marrying her is a very, very bad idea.

She's basically an extremely beautiful seductive murder machine you can't actually fuck (without dire consequences) unless you manage to get her interested in you as a marriage partner. There are plenty of ways to marry someone, but the only way it'll work with a Huldra is a Christian church.

>> No.47304283
File: 22 KB, 340x363, Stardust-6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If nothing else, my players loved it.

Mostly because I gave no more fucks about trying to challenge them and just let them have fun. At least one still says its his favorite campaign but idunno, I still felt bad about it.

>> No.47304287

>Or they could be peasants from a prosperous and fertile region that consistently has a food surplus, whatever.

You mean like France, the lands around the Rhine and Italy?

The regions famous for beautiful women with ample bodies?

>> No.47304307
File: 192 KB, 500x339, IMG_2994.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I...... Holy fuck dude, take me as your apprentice man, TEACH ME THE WAYS OF YOUR BRILLIANCE!

>> No.47304311

Let me tell you two a bit about my dad, because you're both reminding me of him right now.
My dad grew up on a farm in Belgium, and he always told me that one of his favorite treats growing up was, believe it or not, raw fucking eggs. He'd poke a hole in the shell, and suck them dry; he says that they were sweet, juicy, and refreshing.
So, I'm gonna say the same thing to you that I say to my dad: "That's fucking gross. You don't eat raw the things you're supposed to cook."

Sorry, I was under the impression that companion planting was a thing that existed.

>> No.47304313


If you're in the country, I guess. But you could say that about any nationality really.

>> No.47304322

Well having fun is the important part. A challenge is only fun with players who want one, and if you're sure you can properly provide one instead of going overboard or being underwhelming. And hell, I can tell you can write well.

The main reason I don't GM is because I doubt my ability to improvise, and I'm not good with rules, which i feel is one of the most important things about being a GM.

>> No.47304338
File: 340 KB, 3071x1902, LeFrou_Frou1900Page128[1].gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>You mean like France [...] The regions famous for beautiful women with ample bodies?
>If you're in the country, I guess.
There will never be a better time to post pic related than now.

>> No.47304386


Medieval Englishwomen weren't particularly known for their fat tits, same with Spaniards or Irishwomen.

France is probably the most fertile region in Europe, compared to many other Europeans they'll have the curves you're looking for (same with some Germans.)

>> No.47304403

>something you're supposed to cook
Are you seriously telling me you've never had raw tomato slices?

>> No.47304406

>You don't eat raw the things you're supposed to cook.
What you are and are not supposed to cook is relative. On the pragmatic level you don't cook for flavor, you cook stuff that could carry some disease if you didn't. Eggs are usually safe in that regard. Pork would be another story, it could give you tapeworm. But even that has workarounds, you can freeze it instead of cooking it (that's how tartar steak is sanitized)

>> No.47304419
File: 22 KB, 480x480, 1453926535054.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Basically I made what I thought would be a fun fight (A hydra in an area that it could move around easily in, and the players would have a mobility issue in, but could burn some peat moss to do some damage do it as well.

Then the artificer just fried it in a single round. I realized I would never be able to compete with that or make a viable challenge for the group, and just focused on what the group wanted to do and make things feel fun for them.

I also think i'm a fucking lousy writer but thanks for saying I write well

>> No.47304420


>that pic

I don't speak French, but I assume the two on the right are making fun of the large bust of the left girl?

>> No.47304425
File: 1.47 MB, 320x240, good job.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Peasant women

Banging hips, swinging tits. Literally good for anything. Best girls, son. Best girls.

>> No.47304463

You're correct.
Le Froufrou was a satirical paper though, it was pointing out how ridiculous beauty standards of the time were

>> No.47304496


>> No.47304530
File: 282 KB, 400x296, image.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.47304531

my frog isn't perfect, but i think it's something like
"Doesn't that woman look ridiculous with those huge boobs?"
"It looks like it's still fashionable in the countryside"

>> No.47304553

It says "Doesn't she look ridiculous, that woman with enormous breasts"
"Word is they still wear that, in the country"

>> No.47304559

What's wrong with eating a raw tomato like its a fucking apple?

>> No.47304587


So... Who was right? The city folk for preferring itty bitty titties, or the provincials who think a good handful+ is great on a girl?

Who am I kidding, we both know large and perky is ideal.

>> No.47304605
File: 223 KB, 800x521, 1428986787714.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

And bowing to what your players can or can't do instead of trying to take away agency and force scenarios on them is good too. Maybe they just want to beat things up and feel good.

Also, yeah, you're good. The priest one was a bit weaker than the peasant one, but the pale full thighs and 'fill her like fingers never could' was great. It takes a good grasp of symbolic language and even just general humor like puns to make innuendos.

>> No.47304610


Flat is justice, anon. Are you some kind of heretic?

>> No.47304611
File: 118 KB, 500x500, never give up.jpgE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Who am I kidding, we both know large and perky is ideal.
Everyones gonna say flat is justice, but we are of alike minds.

>> No.47304614

Well, personally I think traditional games are the best.

>> No.47304646


I love how the country girl doesn't give any fucks what they think, since I figure her assets are a lot more desirable than the others.

I remember an official during the French Revolution had a wife who was "exceptional" purely because she had full breasts by 13, apparently that's something noteworthy?

>> No.47304682

It's good to be the king.

>> No.47304683

Size doesn't matter. Childbearing hips though, they are a must.

>> No.47304690

>I bet you also like the idea of introducing pure and innocent women like priestesses into darker paths.
As the anon who said you could stay, I have to say no. Fucking the shit out of a healthy farmer's daughter >>>>>> corrupting some stupid purity drone.

Why the fuck wouldn't that be noteworthy?

>> No.47304722


The king was beheaded, friend.


Having a plump pair of chest peckers in your early teens isn't exactly uncommon anymore.

>> No.47304730

Back then it was something unusual - nowadays puberty comes a lot earlier. It's not usual now, but is certainly less unusual than it was

>> No.47304733

>can't handle the thought of eating raw eggs
So, salad dressing, mayonnaise, all the common modern things with raw eggs in them - you fear those? Do you even know what has raw eggs in them?

>supposed to
And who chooses, you? Ahahaha I could laugh all day.

>> No.47304737

I have, and they were awful. Tomatoes are one of the few plants that taste better the more you cook them.

Wheat doesn't carry any diseases raw. That still doesn't mean that I'm gonna eat it without even a marginal amount of preparation.

The same reason you don't eat a potato like an apple: it's awful raw, and infinitely better cooked.

>> No.47304739
File: 221 KB, 600x511, 1461318874980.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That's pretty much the lesson i've learned and most other DM's i've played with agree. I just tend to like challenges but also feel good and beat things up. I just want a smorgasboard of shit in the games i play. If I ever run again i'll probably at leat ask the players in general what they enjoy in a game and include those more.

I just wanted to make a shitpost with the village girl post and the second was me not trying as hard. Or rather, I had more to post but really didn't want to make it longer. Either way i'm done with that now.

>> No.47304768

>The king was beheaded, friend.
Well, yeah, but not for his love well developed underaged girls.

>> No.47304770

Do you know how many people hate Mayo?

I don't but a lot of people think it's the grossest shit ever. I can't eat a ham sandwich without mayo and mustard.

>> No.47304776

I teach high school in about 5 different first-world countries (including Australia, for those in the know). Full breasts at 13 is noteworthy, anywhere.

>> No.47304806


I'm fairly sure the king wasn't the official, it was some member of the cabinet or whatever. Point is, for some reason that passage sticks out in my mind when I remember that book on the Revolution.

>> No.47304823

There's a bit of a difference between eating mayonaise, which contains raw eggs, and drinking that shit straight from the shell.

>> No.47304824

Sure, lots of people. But they hate it for reasons other than raw egg, usually. As a professional chef, the amount of everyday things that use raw egg is actually pretty surprising.

>> No.47304828
File: 380 KB, 245x200, 1430176917367.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That's always a good thing to do. So many DM's forget to ask what their groups want - I had a frustrating DM who did fairly well for his first time, but he wanted low level odd job stuff, while the party as a whole just wanted to hit things and feel good. He tried to include a dungeon partway through, but the wizard and bard complained about the golems.

And you're not writing more? Darn. I will forever miss that village girl.

>> No.47304841
File: 36 KB, 876x928, 1462827384649.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Speaking of well developed underaged girls and Frenchmen
>Although Balcombe was fearful of Bonaparte the first time they met, over time she and the emperor became best friends. The French officers and servants were jealous of the young English girl, who addressed Napoleon as "Boney", without being reprimanded by him.
>After Napoleon was removed to Longwood House, Balcombe would often visit him. The European press recognised the relationship between the 47-year-old Napoleon and the teenage girl and wrote about a love story.

>> No.47304853

If that's what tickles you fancy, try Lady Fuckingham by Oscar Wilde (it's loosely based on diaries of Wilde's mother).

>> No.47304864

As an amateur chef yeah, there's a ton of shit that has raw egg. I do think people are babbys if they don't like it.

>> No.47304873

Not if the guiding principles are "don't eat things raw when they're supposed to be cooked" and "eggs are supposed to be cooked".

Just trying to keep anons honest. Besides, cooking is a human invention. We choose what we want to cook, and what we don't. This guy isn't talking about any reasons, just "you're supposed to cook it! that's icky".

If he and I were in the same bar right now I'd be downing raw oysters like there was no tomorrow.

>> No.47304886

Nah, cooking doesn't make apples much better.

>> No.47304911

>putting raw tomato on the same level as a raw potato
Tbh you're a full retard and your attempts at justifying your fucked up abnormal tastes makes you seem like an idiot.

>> No.47304914
File: 92 KB, 828x404, Raziel1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

My thoughts are that every player should have a time to shine, every character should maybe feel vulnerable from time to time, but not to the point of detriment. Fun wins over not fun, of course.

I wouldn't know where to seriously write it. I wouldn't have any solid ideas on what to do with it, and I probably couldn't keep up any decent quality of writing, as seen by the priestess bit.

>Never had baked apples

you should try

>> No.47304921

>not enjoying raw tomato wedges with a bit of salt

>> No.47304929

Have you ever actually eaten a tomato? They're at worst bland, because we have apparently been breeding them for looks rather than taste. The better ones are fucking delicious.

Does putting them in a pie or jam not count as cooking for you?

>> No.47304945

>he never tasted homegrown tomatoes fresh off the garden
You should try to go somewhere sunny and try it sometimes anon. It'll also help with your vitamin D.

>>47303832 has it on the money.

Japanese cooking, specifically sukiyaki, involves dipping meat in a raw egg. Given how anal they are about food safety these days, I seriously doubt they'd do it if it was dangerous.

All you really need to care about is the freshness of the eggs.

>> No.47304973


Some of those letters and diaries by people back then were lewd as hell.

>> No.47305033
File: 133 KB, 776x678, 1403038997958.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not the same time period but

>James Joyce fart fetish letters

>> No.47305065
File: 85 KB, 468x427, marquis-de-sade-4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Did someone say "lewd"? I clearly head someone say "lewd."

May I further inquire about this "lewdness" you speak of?

>> No.47305142

My dad and uncle did when they were kids. They loved tomatoes.

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