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[ERROR] No.46748182 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Nurgle is the best of the four chaos gods prove me wrong
pro tip: you can't

>> No.46748183

>>46748182
What is that picture from

>> No.46748184

>>46748182
>Nurgle
Funny way to spell Khorne anon

>> No.46748185

>>46748183
Warhammer

>> No.46748186

>>46748182
>>46748184
wrong board lads

>> No.46748187

>>46748184
this, Khorne gives you a neat anti-psi mark whereas Nurgle gives you space AIDS

>> No.46748188

>>46748182
Tzeentch is the best

>> No.46748189

I've only got two words for you
GORK and MORK

>> No.46748190

>>46748182

Nah, Tzeentch is lad.

Slaneesh is a faggot, Khorne is a simpleton and Nurgle is for womanly, easily manipulated cunts.

>> No.46748191

You all need to fuck off, there is only one correct answer.

>> No.46748192

>>46748191
If you were to become a servant of Slaanesh would you just be raped all day by futa demons? I think I will stick to donating blood to the blood god

>> No.46748193

>>46748192
>If you were to become a servant of Slaanesh would you just be raped all day by futa demons
that'd be about where it starts yeah

i wish lord's of change weren't ridiculous bird monsters, they look like parrots

>> No.46748194

>>46748192
sounds like a good time

>> No.46748195

>4 chaos gods

>> No.46748196

>>46748195
>memelice

>> No.46748197

>>46748195
That's even worse than only worshiping the wrong one.

>> No.46748198

>>46748195
this desu lads

>> No.46748199

>>46748195
>Malal
>relevant

>> No.46748200

>>46748196
>>46748197
Ur just jelly because you can't summon your God to the Materium

>> No.46748201

best race?
best race

>> No.46748202

>implying Necoho is not the best

>> No.46748203

The only answer is Our Perfect Prince.

He is the ultimate muse, the great fulfiller of dreams. He is inspiration and passion given form. He is pleasure incarnate, from the intellectual satisfaction of a problem solved and the delicate bliss of contemplating a divinely crafted artwork of true meaning and beauty to the fulfilment of baser desires. His is the domain of frustation and agony, the struggle to achieve that which mortals covet. He is titillation. He is suffering. He is perfection.

He is everything you always wished for. Whoever you may be. Whatever you may be,

Everything.

>> No.46748204

>>46748203
4chan assburgers would find slaanesh to be a total cunt, slaanesh's pleasures are only for normies

>> No.46748205

/commissar/ masterace

>> No.46748206

>>46748203
now this nigga knows whats up

>> No.46748207

HOL UP

>> No.46748208

>mfw I'm so normalfag that I don't have a clue what is this thread about

>> No.46748209

>>46748205
Techpriest. I want to build a motorcycle propelled by a GAU8 cannon with him and maybe touch weiners afterwards or build crazy ass bionicles.

>> No.46748210

Orks all day. They are the only ones who are happy

>> No.46748211

>>46748210
This

>> No.46748212

>>46748182
>prove me wrong

But i cant.

>> No.46748213

>>46748182
Tzeetnch for the win. I may be his pawn, but I take part in something glorious, at least.

Alternatively, Chaos undivided.

>> No.46748214

>>46748182
>>46748184
>>46748187
>>46748189
>>46748191
>>46748195
>>46748203

Fuck off heretical scum

>> No.46748215

>>46748214
You look tired anon. I made you some tomato soup, I know it's your favourite!

>> No.46748216

>>46748182
Looks like that SuperAIDS you're spreading completely rotted your brains so you cant spell Tzeentch right.

>> No.46748217

i dont really know anything about warhammer

why do people become heretics if all the chaos gods are horrible rape demons that give you space aids and cut your limbs off? like do you get anything in return? cause i cant really see myself choosing that willingly.

>> No.46748218

>>46748217
They give power, and when you are possessed by them you don't really feel the disadvantages. Also, for the average dude at least, the Imperium is worse.

https://1d4chan.org/ for more infos

>> No.46748219

>>46748217
You mostly don't choose willingly. Chaos gods fuck your brains in and out so you cant resist them. Only the really pure and zealous people are protected.

>> No.46748220

>>46748217
>being a boring imperium normie

>> No.46748221

>>46748217

>all the chaos gods are horrible rape demons that give you space aids and cut your limbs off?

Being some poor normie on an Imperial world isn't much better.

>> No.46748222

>>46748218

>They give power
are they dope powers or just lame shit like being faster and stronger? i want to mind control bitches and summon giant bugs and shit

>> No.46748223

>>46748222
If you have the potential you could get some pretty cool magic abilities like being able to summon daeomons the size of skyscrapers

>> No.46748224

>>46748222
Mind control and summoning some cool shit is Tzeentch, m8. He's pretty coll guy.

>> No.46748225

>>46748222
Powers like a few extra members from Slaanesh, true vision of everything from Tzeentch, inhuman force and bloodlust from Khorne, and the power to resist and propagate ALL diseases from papa Nurgle.

Most of them are shit, but the possessed don't feel pain anymore so they are happy with what they've got. Chaos is also highly meritocratic, be good and the gods will reward you.

>> No.46748226

>>46748225

>be good and the gods will reward you.
what do you have to do for them to level you up? again, is it lame shit like taking futa cock all day or do they want you to go ham and slaughter normies? cause i would probably sign up for that.

>> No.46748227

I'd love to see the butthurt when Games Workshop shareholders decide to give WH40K Age of Smegma treatment due to slightly declining sales.

>> No.46748228

>>46748214
teleprots behind u :-DDDDD


Unsheathes power blades ;-DDDD

>> No.46748229

>>46748226

It's pretty much just spread chaos particular to said gods dogma, that said being a warp scum is highly undesirable. The Imperium isn't really a bad place to live, only if you're a bydlo scum. Don't give into chaos, put your faith in the God Emperor.

>> No.46748230

>>46748228
Emporah protects.

>> No.46748231

>>46748226
It depends which god you end up with
>Khorne
you slay normies and have blood lust
>Slaanesh
Dildos
>Tzneetch
Cool magic and plotting. le secrets of the universe
>Nurgle
Spread space aids and pestilence

>> No.46748232

>>46748231

tzneetch honestly doesn't sound that chaotic to me

>> No.46748233

>>46748228

pshhh nothing personnel, kiddo

>> No.46748234

>>46748225
>Chaos is also highly meritocratic, be good and the gods will reward you.

Actually no, WH40K started out as a joke, so everybody including the chaos gods, is self defeating moron. Chaos gods disperse teir gifts not based on merit, but entirely randomly.

>> No.46748235

>>46748232
That's what normies tend to think

>> No.46748236

>>46748229
god emperor a cute! :3

>> No.46748237

>>46748235

>one rape god
>one war god
>one aids god
>one homework god
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER

>> No.46748238

>>46748237
Obviously the rape God

>> No.46748239

>>46748232
I don't know much about WH40k but from what I've read, Slaanesh is basically pure unadulterated hubris.

>> No.46748240

>>46748239
Hedonism I mean.

>> No.46748241

>>46748240
You're pretty right about that, they seek pleasure then that becomes dull then seek more pleasure then that becomes dull and so forth

>> No.46748242

>chaos gods
>WH

>> No.46748243

>>46748242
Get the fuck out of here.

>> No.46748244

>worshipping Nurgle
Maybe you'll think again after seeing this video
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zv3bqTNzcrA
>>46748187
How does he take off his suit?

>> No.46748245

I already know everything there is, I've already won.

>> No.46748246

>>46748244
he doesnt? he is sealed in tight

>> No.46748247

>>46748244
/int/ has been bad for traumatizing videos today god damn it

>> No.46748248

>>46748244
jesus christ

>> No.46748249

Warhammer is pretty cool. Where can I read more about it? Any books?

>> No.46748250

>>46748249
How fat is your purse?

Warhammer is luxury hobby.

>> No.46748251

>>46748246
So how does he piss?

>> No.46748252

>>46748244
>suit
It's second skin.

>> No.46748253

>>46748251
The suit is supposed to recycle his piss.

But I like to imagine he's angry because his body is soaked in a mixture of pee and poo.

>> No.46748254

>>46748253
so he is basically an indian? :^)

>> No.46748255

>>46748254
>tyranid flag

>> No.46748256

>>46748248
>>46748247
You think that's bad? They can get in your balls.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=CnSAvOVifpU

You go ahead and hang around Nurgle, but I'd rather just give some skulls to the skull throne.

>> No.46748257

>>46748182
Tzeentch

Nurgle, Slaanesh and Khorne are awful tbqhwy. Why would anyone worship them? Well, Khorne I suppose if you're borderline suicidal or retarded, and Slaanesh if you're a whore.

>>46748190
NZ knows what's up.
Also fuck you board I'm not spamming at all.

>> No.46748258

>>46748257
>Tzeentch
Sure, if you want to become a blabbering mess of mutated body parts.
>b..but I'm too smart and cunning to become a chaos spawn! Lord Tzeentch would never betray me like that!
That's what they all say

>> No.46748259

>>46748258
At least Tzeentch is honest; Nurgle will just make you into a monstrosity anyway as he's into sickness 'n shit.

>> No.46748260

>>46748259
>Tzeentch is honest
>the literal god of lies and betrayal is honest
Lol. There's a whole lore passage in the Chaos codex about a Chaos follower having visions about being a great sorcerer on a planet that he rules, drowning in bitches and killing his enemies, eventually coming to senses and realizing that he is a lowly cultist that is being turned into a chaos spawn.

>> No.46748261

Nurgle is the kindest god, he's ever more kinder, than Jesus.
Slaanesh is for faggots, Khorne is for agressove bydlo, Tzeentch is for cynical greedy bydlo.

>> No.46748262

>>46748260
Exactly - you KNOW what you're going to get. If you're lucky you might get away with having some fun in your favour to begin.

>>46748261
>Nurgle is the kindest god, he's ever more kinder, than Jesus.
wut how

>> No.46748263

>ctrl + F
>"Tzeentch"
>11 results
I'm proud of you /int/

>> No.46748264

>>46748261
>Slaanesh
I like this one
t. slut

>> No.46748265

>>46748249
I'd recommend the Gaunt's Ghosts series. Lots of action and it's mostly about the Imperial Guard so it's not just space marines strutting around being righteous all the time.

>> No.46748266

>>46748262
In his eyes the diseases that he spreads around are a token of his affection, he sees everyone in the same way a kind grandfather does

>> No.46748267

>>46748254
IT IS THE TYRANID!

>> No.46748396

>>46748195
Malice for life. The Tenebrae Hereticus signals his return. Is anybody else hungry?

>> No.46748497

>>46748222
In very simplistic terms.

Khorne gives ridiculous strength as well as an unending desire to kill, maim and burn. Khorne is the literal embodiment of anger, honesty and violence.

Nurgle will give you all diseases, but you won't die from them and Nurgle's servants are generally quite happy because they basically have nothing left to worry about. Nurgle is the embodiment of stagnancy, decay and nature

Tzeentch will give you the ability to summon great powers to you, however he'll cast you aside to be mindless chaos spawn or give you horrific mutations at the tip of a hat. He has no discernable reasons for half the shit he pulls Tzeentch is the embodiment of change, betrayal and ambition.

Slaneesh will make you feel excesses that you couldn't ever imagine. Every sexual and psychological need you have will be met a thousand fold. However, just like drugs and excess in the real world, you start to need more and more to break even, let alone achieve those highs again. Slaneesh is the embodiment of desire, excess and addiction.

Malice will give you whatever you need to achieve your goal, and will likely turn you into a cannibal for shits and giggles. But he will eventually consume you to regain his power and then resume his unending quest to kill the other gods. Malice is the embodiment of true chaos

>> No.46748577

>>46748205
>The secrets of the universe will REALLY piss you off

>> No.46748735

Noth Needh thoo arguh ! Whe thall all worthyip KAY-OSS !

>> No.46748778

>>46748222
then tzeentch might be for you my friend!

>> No.46748822

Lets do the math of what the gods give you.

>Big E
Hardship, Irrelevance and admittedly a good dollop of glory. Have to hand it to Imperials, they're brave and dedicated, but for what? A swift death?
>Khorne
All consuming rage, As someone with stress and anger issues who has been admitted to psych wards and needs counseling I can tell you rage is not fun at all. Khornates are beyond reason and intelliectual capability.
>Nugle
Endurance, Ugliness, Filth. Just plain disgusting. I feel ill just thinking about vile, hideous and unclean Nurglites.
>Tzeench
Knowledge if you possess the brains to know it and possibly some arcane might. The benefit about being Tzeenchian is that Tzeench fucks you over at a far slower and more inconceivable rate than other gods and if you like leading a life of intrigue that doesn't matter in the end.
>Slaanesh
Experience, Sensation and Improvement. All round good in the baddest way. You enjoy suffering and pleasure in equal measure. My only complaint would be Slaaneshis tend to the ded eevil.
>Gork and Mork
Pretty obvious, if you're a follower of these then you're probably doing just fine no matter what.
>The Omnissiah
Those lovely machine spirits. Yes that's right, find the ports, get the sacred ungients. "Interface" and "perform maintainance." Dirty cogtalkers, I have data on your interests.
>Eldar gods
Dying

Overall I'd say the best choices are in no particular order:

Big E, Tzeench and Slaanesh.

My personal choice is fuck the gods that aren't big E, fuck chaos especially. Pay respects to big E but focus on the more important task at hand: Discovering the mysteries of Xenotech and Ancient aliens.

>> No.46748903

>>46748822
>Those lovely machine spirits. Yes that's right, find the ports, get the sacred ungients. "Interface" and "perform maintainance." Dirty cogtalkers, I have data on your interests.

My leftover flesh components have become reactivated again due to your description of the one and only true god, The Mighty Omnissiah.
Please *zzzzip* tell us more *clang clang clang*

>> No.46748942

>>46748577
what a smug gorilla

>> No.46748950

>>46748244

Hey lad wanna live forever? It'll only cost few minor inconveniences appearing in your body...

>> No.46748952

>>46748205
>/Ork/
>Not enrolling your friend in amateur wrestling tournaments
>Not avoiding his downside as easily as possible

>> No.46749081

congratulations, you're the shittest thread on /tg/ right now!

>> No.46750018

>>46748210
You can't prove there aren't happy humans, Eldar, or tau somewhere.

>> No.46750143

>>46748210
What are you talking about? just look at that smile

>> No.46750209

>>46749081
Well it started on /int/ so hey.

>> No.46750265

>>46748182
/thread

>> No.46750546

>Not wanting to be counted among the Companions.
>Not being a strong, independent warrior.
>Not loving the Emperor

>> No.46750611

>>46748182
>>46748184
>>46748191
>>46748195
>>46748213
YOU ALL NEED TO SERIOUSLY FUCK OFF.

>>46748202
>Literally: Who? The God

>> No.46750626

>>46750143
>ever going full Slaanesh

>> No.46750692

>>46748203
no thanks

>> No.46750713

>>46748182
He's not the strongest.

>> No.46750723

>>46748195
Malal, the God of Renegades... is best god.

You could be a rogue trader and function in the empire still, while revering.

>> No.46750726

>>46748182
PERFECT. GATHER ABOUT YOU THE FOUL STENCH OF CHAOS AND WHEN THIS THREAD IS BURSTING AT THE SEAMS WE WILL CLEANSE AND PURGE IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR

>> No.46750739

>>46748205
>Commissar
This guy knows what's up in his choices. If you know he'll kill you for being a coward, you have no reason to ever be afraid because you know the alternative is death, effectively nullifying his negatives.

>You should go on a diet
>I don't wanna
>I'll shoot you if you don't
>Okay, diet and exercise program starts now
>You've made The Emperor proud, son.

>> No.46750797

>>46750726
yes... we will purge the worshippers of the 4 chaos gods "for the emperor"
> the greatest trick Malal ever did was making people think he doesn't exist

>> No.46750810

>winning tier
Khorne
>"he hurts me because he loves me" tier
Nurgle
>rock out with your cock out tier
Slaanesh
>"he has three pairs of wings and everyone is always in awe of how smartest and winningest he is, also he's half bird, half demon and half wizard" tier
that guy that spends his time purposefully fucking up his followers when they actually get what they want

>> No.46750831

>>46748213
Is that a breast plate?

Disgusting.

>> No.46750836

>>46748822

Your comprehention of the basics of Chaos worship is pathetic to say the least. May the Four Gods grant you a second chance, for forgivness is not something they are known for.

>> No.46750897

ITT:

>> No.46750914

Also ITT:

>> No.46751263

Is it even possible to 'kill' an Dark God? How would you even get to them> Let alone dispose of something that is inherently formless, never existed but has always existed, incomprehensible by mortal minds, and pure but abstract power?

I'm not advocating Chaos, but it just seems to me that these Gods are untouchable. It's like a game you can't win but won't lose because they don't want you to stop playing. It's absurd how powerful they are. There must be a way to kill them.

Maybe if the Harlequins could find a way to release Isha she would have some kind of knowledge as to how to attack them. But even that seems impossible.

>> No.46751265

>>46750739
But thats shitty. It would become 'do what I want or get shot.' Unless you want a dom/sub relationship with you always as the sub and no sex then that would suck.

>> No.46751367

>>46751263
Sterilize the entire galaxy, or at least everything that has any trace of psychic presence/emotion, and then yourself.

Wait an indeterminate period.

They will run out of gas and die with a whimper rather than a bang.

You have to get EVERYTHING though.

This also assumes that they don't meddle and make life occur solely for the purpose of worshiping them.

They might manage to secret some bionts or bacteria in a crevice you missed, or skip that by millions of years and have much more evolved things.

So practically speaking, no. They are quite powerful to begin with and in practice, you wouldn't elude their attention at all and they would stop you before you got any real distance. Your very scheme would inherently be known to Tzeentch, and the others to the extent they were aware of it, wouldn't like it, even though Khorne hates everything, he's addicted to hate. He can't stop hating things, etc.

Even if it somehow worked they'd probably find a way to say "Hi" to Nids' or some other form of outsider, or meddle with mechanical things as a way to get a foot hold, etc. (They can infect inanimate objects after all. I'm assuming they have the expertise/inherent abilities to get life a going with a demonic infection. Nurgle could, however ruefully, create life that wasn't totally preferable to him so later, him/everyone had more Life to worship, etc.By sending a plague demon with bacteria to start life, etc.)

>> No.46751468

>>46748195
Lol please just stop mentioning that shitty fanfic. thanks

>> No.46751502

>>46751367
I don't think Tzeentch could find out the plans of a soulless machine that can't be possessed. Right?

>> No.46751542

>>46751367
As extreme as that sounds it seems like the only option. There just is no real feasible way to actually eliminate Chaos from the universe without eliminating life. But even then they existed before real space, so maybe even that wouldn't matter.

I wonder if the Black Library has anything on it. Supposedly it is the most comprehensive collection of information on Chaos to exist, even in it's fractured state after the fall. It might just be a codex of information about them with no real way to get to them but I'm still curious if there is some kind of wild card the Eldar are holding. I mean there has got to be a way.

>> No.46751619

>>46751542
Maybe Cegorach will find a way. Wouldn't that be a laugh.

>> No.46751714

>>46750143
> HEY SEXUALLY AMBIGUOUS PALTOYS, IT'S YA BOY LUCIUS HERE WITH ANOTHER SEXPLOSIVE PRANK

>> No.46751746

>>46751502
He can but he finds them incredibly boring.

>> No.46751758

>>46748182
The only god for me is Robot Mummy Space Messiah.

>> No.46751860

>>46748244
>>46748256

>tfw this is a fetish

>tfw this is my fetish

>> No.46752055

>>46751263
Well Slaanesh killed a bunch of Eldar Gods, which I assume were just other kinds of Warp entities like the Chaos Gods.

You're talking about killing the Immaterium, which as you say, is impossible without sterilizing all life which feeds it. But it's possible to remake the Immaterium into a friendlier environment that isn't dominated by a Dominatrix, a Blood Craving Madman, a Scheming Little Asshole, and a Big Happy Rotting Sack of Shit. These entities can be unmade, and replaced with more benevolent ones.

>> No.46752136

>>46752055
>You're talking about killing the Immaterium, which as you say, is impossible without sterilizing all life which feeds it. But it's possible to remake the Immaterium into a friendlier environment that isn't dominated by a Dominatrix, a Blood Craving Madman, a Scheming Little Asshole, and a Big Happy Rotting Sack of Shit. These entities can be unmade, and replaced with more benevolent ones.

Impossible. The Chaos Gods have always existed in the Warp and will forever exist in there.

Also the Eldar Gods are not truly killed. They linger in Slaanesh stomach still.

>> No.46752137

>>46752055
You can remake the Immaterium?

>> No.46752210

>>46748183
your crotch

>> No.46752273

>>46752055
Speaking of, how did one single ruinous power manage to kill almost all of the Eldar pantheon? There shouldn't be such a power parity between those entities.

>> No.46752295

>>46752273
The Eldar abandoned their worship and embraced excess so they lost strength while Slaanesh grew in power.

>> No.46752332

>>46752137
The Immaterium is always being remade by whatever emotions feed it. It's why worshiping the Emperor has the consequence of creating a real Warp Entity God-Emperor even if there was none before.

>>46752273
Well Slaanesh was feeding off a galaxy wide orgy and other excess which had been going on for millenia. The emotions feeding him were much stronger than those feeding the Eldar gods, since the Eldar had mostly given up on worshiping them.

>> No.46752417

>>46752332
>It's why worshiping the Emperor has the consequence of creating a real Warp Entity God-Emperor even if there was none before.

That'a headcanon.

The Chaos Gods made a Perpetual (Emperor) into a god as a part of a bargain. Source "Vengeful Spirit".

>> No.46752426

>>46752332
>The Immaterium is always being remade by whatever emotions feed it. It's why worshiping the Emperor has the consequence of creating a real Warp Entity God-Emperor even if there was none before.

That certainly makes sense with Slaanesh, but then how did the other Gods come into power if they existed before the universe?

>> No.46752488

>>46752426
I don't think you guys get it. Slaanesh and the other gods always existed in the Warp. Time has no meaning in the Warp. There is no linear time and events happen in no logical sequence.

That's why you have Be'lakor here who was ascended into daemonhood by the Chaos gods long before the Chaos Gods were "born". He even has memories of the first Necrontyr necropolis and the first Eldar homeworlds.

>> No.46752891

>>46752488
True. But you can in some instances point to events or happenings in the universe that have directly or indirectly affected the Immaterium. Worship, Imprisonment, and Death have all had some impact on something intangible. So it can't be completely obscure to think that there is some meaning of time in the warp even though it may not have the same meaning it does outside of the warp.

Otherwise what would be the point of the universe at all and the Dark Gods investment in it if it had no meaning outside of amusement. There has to be some significance or the whole thing is a joke.

>> No.46754961

>>46750546
HAHAHAHA Eldar hats

>> No.46755373

>>46748203
>he

>> No.46757927

>>46748256
I need to forget this

>> No.46758919

>>46752417
>believing the bullshit a demon told Horus to sway him into Chaos

>> No.46759397

>>46748203
Agreed!

All of the other Gods paths' eventually lead to Slaanesh anyway.

>> No.46759625

>>46752488
>I don't think you guys get it. Slaanesh and the other gods always existed in the Warp. Time has no meaning in the Warp. There is no linear time and events happen in no logical sequence.

Ok, so let me get this right.

Say if someone were to destroy Slaanesh, SOMEHOW, so Slaanesh stops existing.
Would it undo everything Slaanesh dead?
Do you think it would revive the eldar race?

I think I just came up with a plot idea for Age of the Emperor

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