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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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46112409 No.46112409 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Meanwhile, on Elfchan

>> No.46112437

Running half-naked around your blushing paladin will never get old. Especially when he is still confused about which genitals you have.

>> No.46112497

I swear to the gods these double mon-keigh don't know how to have proper weapons much less have any flexible armor.

>> No.46112554

>human master, wat do?

>> No.46112578

Suck his dick.

>> No.46112587

>>I want to have sex with a human.
>>What do?

>> No.46112603

>Surface world is very strange place, cousin
>surface matrons don't flay man on Tuesday or wear clothes
>I have only been pal' addin for week
>I have not touched matrons or wine
>why do they test me now?
>I will try not to anger surface matron
>cod piece will stay on

>> No.46112648
File: 42 KB, 600x400, real_life_elves.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's hilarious how misrepresented our appearance is in human culture when we actually look like this.


>> No.46112689

Daily reminder you will never get laid.

Because the humans aren't interested in fucking a woman who'll snap like a twig the instant they get rough.

>> No.46112703

I hear their ears are an erogenous zone.

>> No.46112707


>> No.46112733

Dwarfanon get out

>> No.46112748
File: 462 KB, 637x900, 1453010771869.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I want to tenderly dominate a pasty, white human fuckboi.

>> No.46112777

>human sneaks up
>steals big fucking gem
>human gets away
>humans be foolins

>> No.46112938
File: 215 KB, 780x1025, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Tender domination by a drow priestess is my fetish.

Why don't they ever raid my village?

>> No.46113389
File: 4 KB, 123x110, 1446708689943.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Most shitty thread on /tg/ right now.

>> No.46113420
File: 607 KB, 2011x1519, ange milk big.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46113755

A+, would rape.

I will never understand why elves go all dominatrix.

>> No.46113757

Good luck with that, you've better chances of finding a halfling who won't steal all your jewelry as soon as you're asleep.

>> No.46113828

Don't compare us to fucking kender, god damn kender genocide best day of my life REMOVE KENDER remove kender, they have the thief smell not like tasty halfling cooking

Kender die in a hole, halfling adventurers bring gold back to the Shire - we rich now, we have allies in human and dwarf kingdoms you will be dead soon hahahaha FUCK KENDER

>> No.46113920

bleed the dirty sindar thieves! KINSTRIFE NOW! RECLAIM THE JEWEL!

>> No.46113985
File: 44 KB, 400x518, 2d51dea6bec71157d4e56c0e3d2cbbabfb7f62ed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Nonsense human talk. "Tender" is anything that does not damage enough to require healing.

A little pain is a small price to pay for not having to deal with a thousand years of dull uninspired surface elf sex.

>> No.46114035

This: >>46113985
She can be as rough as she wants as long as we cuddle and hold hands afterwards because deep down inside she loves me for the feeble, pale surface-dwelling male that I am.

>> No.46114065

Ah, you don't get Drow.

That would only happen if she wanted to feel the exact spasms of your body as the slow-acting toxin she administered earlier took effect.

>> No.46114091
File: 1.47 MB, 460x258, laughingelves.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>muh silmaril
>swear oaths
>kill kin
>rinse and repeat for a few hundred years

>> No.46114109
File: 21 KB, 210x330, Viconia2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's been known to happen

>> No.46114124

With as turned on as drow women get by dominating a smaller male, I don't think you have much to fear. If anything else she might like having you around just for the scandal factor.

>> No.46114470

God that was a great thread.

>> No.46114510
File: 509 KB, 1332x3858, urdenovich.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Preserved for posterity.

>> No.46114520

Is it true you are all angry about dwarves?

>> No.46114556

Heed my words, fellow paladin.. The beautiful elven maiden may look young, but there is a centennial grief within her heart. To gain her .. fleshy favors, you must first purr the worries away, join her on the hunt, and kindly ignore her criticism of your plodding ways. Then, when trust is achieved, suggest nesting with her kind. Perhaps, in a decade, you shall be offered her boon, and with it a long-lived child.

Also, if you have doubts about whether you deal with a "he" or "she", see if the maiden complains about watchers grabbing her busom. They are wont to perform such lewd acts.

>> No.46114746

Why are humans always coming into my forest?
Fucking roundears get out.

>> No.46114939

So, kind sir, you seem experienced in the matters of elf courting. How do I get rid of one? She's trying to get my attention by some... unorthodox means and it's getting dangerous. Upsetting her in any way or leaving her side is not an option due to current circumstances, mind.

>> No.46114976
File: 69 KB, 500x424, 1389224820482.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why is elf/tg/ angry about dwarves?
Why the beard hate?

All those cute little stubby limbs, roundish ears and exotic stone instead of boring and traditional trees. Dwarves are love.

>> No.46114998

Getting rid of an elven maiden, ser...? Why...? Before I advise you, indulge my curiosity. It is such a staple of courtly love among those of our calling, and yet you want none of it...

>> No.46115053 [DELETED] 
File: 165 KB, 487x1488, 1457977849129.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>>Have a Crush for a human
>>I am an Elf...
>>Human Senpai doesn't care for thin frail women..
>>mfw Seven Two and 120lb
>>Decide to change
>>Workout, Eat Meat, Do other things that shame my culture
>>Built enough muscle to shame an Orc
>>Walk up to Senpai
>>Realize I too shy to even speak...
>>He walks away without knowing the feels I burn for him

What do I do next! ;~;

>> No.46115084

Lose a tiny bit of muscle, ask for a gnomish common friend to blurt out your feelings for him. You do have a gnomish friend, don't you?

>> No.46115105

Does he have a girlfriend?
If he does, you should kidnap her, stuff her in a sack, and throw her through a portal to the Nine Hells.
Then, during his grief, you are there to comfort him.

>> No.46115124
File: 307 KB, 635x358, 1373062253279.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Human rape.
They may fight back or scream but they love that stuff. It is in their blood. They love getting dominated. I have never met a human who didn't secretly want to be raped by elves or orcs.
Why else would there be half-humans running around everywhere? Humans are lewd

>> No.46115159

So, is this all erp or will traditional games happen at some point?

>> No.46115172

See, this is how we got Orcs in the first place.

>> No.46115203
File: 279 KB, 739x1000, 1452468901303.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


No seriously they do like this shit. Try it out!

>> No.46115212

Because I would rather not start another war with the elves in the space of three years. It's something of a long story.

>> No.46115244

The full context of this unwanted romance grows ever more elusive and demanding of clarity.

>> No.46115451

As a human, I find this an offensive stereotype and would be VERY angry if this happened to me.

Like, super mad. I REALLY mean it! Don't you DARE find me at the Wandering Stallion Inn, room 3, at sunset this evening! I swear to all the gods above, I will be SORELY upset if a group of scantily-clad Elven women assail me and use me as some kind of breeding stock for half-breed children. Don't you DARE.

>> No.46115472

Poor Raven, death by snu snu

>> No.46115502
File: 117 KB, 850x1133, 1455816599176.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

But... oh, okay then. If it's that much of a big deal, we won't. This makes me wonder, though, maybe our wizard will be more amenable to our proposition. He's kind of cute.

>> No.46115508
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>> No.46115620

I REALLY MEAN IT! I will be asleep, in my bed, completely helpless! I am a heavy sleeper, so I wouldn't hear anyone, least of all a light-footed elf, sneak into my room, which I have lost the key for and is unlocked at all times, sneak in and surround me! I doubt I'd even wake from being bound to the bedposts, so you better not! I don't want to wake up to find myself surrounded by beautiful, buxom elf women looking for only one thing; my body! You better not do that at all, or I shall be SO VERY CROSS!

>> No.46115813
File: 79 KB, 469x594, 1287692229240.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh! How positively FABULOUS, madam. Unlike the forest dwellers, we're not deaf to reverse psychology, and will be there posthaste. No need to prepare, we're rather practiced in those things. PLEASE feel free to remain where you are for the next fifteen to twenty seconds.

>> No.46115819
File: 23 KB, 469x299, 1453301540595.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You know you need to be at least 100 years old to browse this site?

>> No.46115839

The only one demanding clarity here is you, sir. Well, you and the twin kings of the elves. It's how the whole thing started, you see. With a demand for clarification.

Back on topic, however. How can I handle this situation peacably and without upsetting the elf?

>> No.46115859

>neither elves or humans can determine the other's gender at a glance.
How do half elves even come about?

>> No.46115890

Well, I can hardly give tailored advice without the full story, can I? I would suggest chaste endurance 'till your last breath, but obviously that isn't an option.

>> No.46115914

>How do half elves even come about?
Obviously by accident

>> No.46115955
File: 41 KB, 274x237, okay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46115974

Well, chaste endurance spurs her in the wrong direction entirely. You see, she assumed I'm entirely disinterested or ignoring her advances on whatever grounds, so instead she turned to finding various perils and actively putting herself into danger. As a result, I now have a regular petitioner discount for healing ointments and regeneration charms at the temple of Lathander.

>> No.46116051

>implying you weren't 50 when you started lurking

>> No.46116078

I am 60 and what is this?

>> No.46116175

You Elves are fucking weird.

Im going back to my village.

>> No.46116229

Alright then... Why exactly is plowing that elven garden an act of war?

>> No.46116427

I dunno about that guy, but I'd lay siege to that flowerbed, if you catch my drift.

>> No.46116462

Well, the first attempt, with this one's sister, ended with something approaching three thousand casualties on both sides. At least the king didn't find out.

>> No.46116522
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>> No.46116628
File: 33 KB, 516x658, helf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's not rape if it's a human, but is it bestiality?

>> No.46116662

Humans have penises bigger than 4 inches and that's just the average ones. Just gonna put that out there.

>> No.46116701

No? They're a lot like elves, elven children anyway. Which means you ought to be asking if it's pedophilia.

>> No.46116714

Don't be ridiculous. No body has enough blood to support such a ludicrously oversized appendage.

They'd end up draining it from the rest of their body.

>> No.46116825
File: 2.92 MB, 220x220, thumbs up.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Dead serious. Find a human and check. 5, 6 inches easy. Sometimes more.

>> No.46116874
File: 227 KB, 638x409, is beast.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's not bestiality if the subject is willing

>> No.46117446
File: 15 KB, 166x308, 1439675118050.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Yfw an eleven female will never ever gaze upon your average penis with a slight look of fear on their face.

>> No.46117473

Well, I don't have an average size penis, so even if they were real...

>> No.46117532


>> No.46117536
File: 39 KB, 231x276, 1444760493181.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>OP makes an elf thread
>anon talks about his dick
Every time, this is why we can't have nice elf threads.

>> No.46117558
File: 64 KB, 412x380, 4chan does it again.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Well then you better hope that space elves are real and FTL is somehow possible.

>> No.46117605

It is the natural progression of things here on /d/ lite.

>> No.46117642
File: 64 KB, 197x181, the d-vourer.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46117667

>natural progression
>implying this wasn't this thread from the start
>implying if mods wouldn't be lazy cunts this thread would still be alive
Erp somewhere else and make room for threads that are traditional games.

>> No.46117787

>Be Elf
>was born to werewolves
>live as a gypsie
>stolen by slavers when I was 50
>sold to human nobles to be guard for thier daughter cause I'm a werewolf.
>she digs me
>we run away together
>do Elven bonding ritual
>she will basically live as love as I do now
>life is good

So how are your human/elf relaionships going?

>> No.46117848

Okay, I'm mad! Why did Growing Trees 2 get an age rating of 70? I'm 64 and mature enough I don't want to wait 6 years to see it.

>> No.46117907

>implying a mere 64 year old has the presence of mind to appreciate the slowly-expanding trunks of such vigorous redwood and pine

>> No.46117950


Shit, don't you know? All tabletop and tabletop accessories are connected to devil worship or sex orgies.

>> No.46117994
File: 93 KB, 636x731, humanchicks.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.46118381


>> No.46118495

I fucking hate human women hitting on me.
Yes, I'm "experienced"
No, the myth isn't true about long ears.
No, I don't want to be with a fat ruddy hairy human woman. I might as well fucking a dwarf.
Anybody else getting sick of this?

>> No.46118569

You are missing out bro.
Human woman are so much better than elf woman.
Also they breed like rabits compared to us.

>> No.46118582

You don't know what you're missing. Human women are stupid easy to please. They will think you're Fëanor, himself.

>> No.46118609

>Muh dick
Christ, this is why nobody like humans. Maybe if you could keep it in your pants, you could develop a society that lasts longer than 100 years.

>> No.46118624

idk last time I was with one she thought it was weird to bring my friends to share the experience and feel the harmony

>> No.46118663

Fëanor Girthtree? I thought he retired.
I'm not into BBW.

>> No.46118681

You still do that?
I just mine meld with my friends after the fact

>> No.46118697

The blood is drained from their brain, it's why humans are rather....slow

>> No.46118732

How can elven men even compete?

>> No.46118761

By not dying after 70 years.

>> No.46118774

>underarm hair
Do I really need to say more?

>> No.46118808

Yeah, by not looking like apes and knowing how to read.

>> No.46119011

>All these butthurt elfbois.
We was kings an shiet. Elfbois best learn their place. Cant compete with that huge human dick, elf gurls want. You goin extinct for a reason.

>> No.46119127

>humans actually believe that transcending = extinction

>> No.46119300

Ayoooo son

we gonna transcend yo birthrates with dis bigas muffuggin dick in tight elven puss

>> No.46119306

Transcending this HHD! Elfbois scared, after I give your sister a half human baby, I'm gonna pull this HHD out and piss on your favorite tree, Aliniwen.

Mankind gonna rise up, Elves gonna regret the day the stole our forests.

>> No.46119389


>> No.46119403

This is why people like Namremmiz keep shooting you on sight.
Honestly, we don't need to even do that. Maybe if you could stop killing each other with a new war every decade, and learn to use proper hygiene, you might have a birth rate that means anything.

>> No.46119444

look at dis fuccboi


>> No.46119483


>> No.46119490

Why does she have two left feet?

>> No.46119517

Feet are hard.

>> No.46119861
File: 43 KB, 480x640, 50129-Badab War, Conversion, Salamander, Space Marines, Terminator Armor, Warhammer 40,000.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Where all da elf wimmin at?

>> No.46120338

Mods are asleep, post humans.

>> No.46121494

Perhaps, but plainly the right feet are harder than the left feet.

>> No.46121888


>> No.46121960


the outsider

Its not porn.

>> No.46122187
File: 167 KB, 440x516, dmr4.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

No kidding.
>we're roleplaying, so the shitposting is relevant!

>> No.46122330


Elves don't sleep you silly human

We Trance

>> No.46122366
File: 499 KB, 900x865, Trade__Skull_Mistress_by_Larbesta.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Drow Mistress, wat do?

>> No.46122423
File: 118 KB, 339x461, dmr30.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Are you ND going incognito, or just one of his anon buttbuddies who thinks that masturbating is a traditional game?

And in anticipation of "but anon, it is le traditionalest game :^))))", I'd like to direct you to scroll the top of the thread, whereupon you will fail to find the words hentai, adult, or anything labeling this board as an offshoot of /d/.

Holy shit, after three years of idiots who think circlejerking somehow constitutes original content I think I'm ready for another round of heavy-handed moderation

>> No.46122459

Post in misplaced fetish thread.

>> No.46122476


Do everything in your power to please her

And pray that your inevitable death is quick and painless

>> No.46122487

This thread is an embarrassment, and I like elves..

>> No.46122607

ORCED when?

>> No.46122648
File: 46 KB, 395x419, 1456696363522.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

90% of all elf threads on this whole site, not only this board, are pure cancer.
>le lewd elf
>it's not raep
>thinly veiled fetish thread
>elf hate thread DEUS VULT
>/e/ dump on boards that aren't /e/

>> No.46122677

How's that autism working out for you?

>> No.46123788

Can I get a sauce on that? I didn't realize there were any mangos about dungeon crawling.

>> No.46123865
File: 32 KB, 130x280, 1454073030411.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Dungeon Meshi. You have a lot to catch up on.

>> No.46123909

Oh, yeah. I had a friend pitch that as "what if you ate dead monsters?" to which I replied "You should probably have a plot more interesting than that. Or like, interesting at all."
Is it really as boring as it sounds?

>> No.46124015
File: 1.34 MB, 1125x1600, 1455554369577.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's more interesting, but it takes some time to shine. The cooking stuff is more prevalent in the beginning, world building and characters become more important later on. It also has great humour, likeable characters and good art. Give it a try. At least for the cute elf.

>> No.46124141

best post

>> No.46124292

>world building and characters become more important later on
Is there a plot? Like, at all? Or is it just a sitcom that happens to be located in a dungeon?

>> No.46124296

Men like you are scum. Learn to Numenor, then you'll be a real Man.

>> No.46124447

Rolled 16 (1d20)

rolling to seduce

>> No.46124507
File: 12 KB, 149x288, 1446708689955.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

There is a plot. The plot thickens the further it goes, but at the moment it's not so sure where it will go. The dungeon definitively holds secrets and the last chapter was just pure world building hinting that there is more to come.

It's really interesting and also probably the most /tg/-related manga.

Also qt elf.

>> No.46124576

What I like about Marcille, except for being a nice character, is that she's not sort of absurdly beautiful or anything. She's cute, and an elf, but more in a "that cute chick in biology" kind of way.

>> No.46124718
File: 20 KB, 309x340, 1446708689982.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The best thing about her is that she's a character, not just some waifu for the human self-insert to romance, but a complete character with flaws and quirks. All the other characters are also great, but it wouldn't be the same without her.

But goddam why is her face so expressive?

>> No.46124734

I find this post delightful.

>> No.46124756
File: 87 KB, 320x379, dmr15.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's a wholesome sort of cute.

>> No.46125092


>> No.46125696


You're mixing up humans and orcs. Damn piggers...

>> No.46125808
File: 151 KB, 600x600, 1455793148040.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

2black4me. I prefer them chocolate brown rather than black. It's like the difference between regular dark chocolate and 99% cacao dark chocolate. To complete the analogy, white elves are like pure sugar: sure, you could shove it in your mouth and maybe even enjoy the taste but why do that when you could have a bar of chocolate?

>> No.46125939

Chocolate elves are just pure fetish elves these days. Show me one japanese brown elf that's not primary for masturbation but a real character.

>> No.46126037
File: 814 KB, 600x849, 1453011682822.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I can't, but I eagerly anticipate the marriage between chocolate elf fetish fuel and character development.

>> No.46126276
File: 388 KB, 998x1409, 010 - Imgur.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>It's really interesting and also probably the most /tg/-related manga.

There's a strong contender, mind!

>> No.46126437

>that forever DM finally getting to play feel

>> No.46126452

Your selfesteem is so low you all need these power fantasies. Poor basement dwellers.

>> No.46126517
File: 43 KB, 162x182, 1451235957147.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>You actually have power fantasies in a role playing game about superpowered individuals? Poor basement dwellers.

>> No.46126699

Don't drag Marcille into this, he's right.

>> No.46126836

>troll is right
Stupidity, not even once.

>> No.46127365


This guy's right.

Rather than masturbating about how powerful your proxy is, you could be telling stories.

>> No.46128701

I have that saved as "Drow Slav wat do"

>> No.46128758

elfs are fucking retarded, whats the point for long ears? shit race imho

>> No.46128981

hounds are fucking retarded, whats the point for long ears? shit breed imho

Now I'm not sure if you saw that with your predatory eyes, but that was your baseless opinion being told off. Maybe if your ears were long enough to hear your elders you might have become smart enough to know what kind of (dis)advantages certain physical traits provide.

>> No.46129100

still waiting for an answer.

>> No.46131472

Please post laughing elf edits. Specifically the malf one, if you got it.

>> No.46132037

>You have a lot to catch up on.
That's the best time to start reading something, because waiting for updates is pain.

>> No.46132641


>> No.46133930

Drow pls go

>> No.46134223
File: 121 KB, 565x456, you must be over 218 to post here.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46134231
File: 246 KB, 1007x794, lair_assault__spiderkiller_by_belibr-d56xstx.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not until you admit that drow are the superior elves.

>> No.46134280

But drow are so inferior they literally live down below.

>> No.46134299
File: 74 KB, 644x654, nijikin_ai11.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>you will never be taken as a POW by a tomboyish chocolate elf
>you will never help each other in a number of adventures despite you being a captive
>you will never slowly develop your mutual feelings
>you will never evolve into a solid team capable of dealing with any trouble the world throws at you
>you will never fall in love for each other
>you will never be known for your adventures as a dark elf and a human couple
Life is an endless pit of pain and despair.

>> No.46134377

Down below is where all the high level stuff is. Have you ever even been in a dungeon?

>> No.46134385

Chocolate elves are not dark elves, they are just ganguro elves.

>> No.46134473

Feanor did nothing wrong. I wish he came back, we could make Middle-earth great again.

>> No.46134576

Elven bard David Bowie died...

>> No.46134617
File: 152 KB, 773x1033, Fëanáro.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>muh silmaril
>swear oaths
>kill kin
>rinse and repeat for a few hundred years

What the fuck did you just fucking say about muh Silmarils, you filthy Moriquendë? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class of all the House of Finwë, been involved in numerous secret raids on the fortress of Angband, and have over 300 confirmed kinslays on those boatfucking Teleri cowards. I am trained in gorilla warfare and am the top bowman of all the Calaquendi. You are nothing to me but just another spawn of Morgoth. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen since the War of Teleri Aggression, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Palantir? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Middle-earth and your address is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, goblin. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can slay you in over seven hundred different ways, and that's just with my beautiful hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to all the hosts of the Noldor and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable hröa off the face of the continent, you stunted piece of dwarf-shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down on you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit the fury of the Eldar all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>> No.46134834 [SPOILER] 
File: 354 KB, 870x463, 1458473168368.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46134857
File: 213 KB, 1291x443, methinks elf doth prothest too much.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46134861

>Catgirl slave
>wat do?

>> No.46134862
File: 163 KB, 796x555, bestelf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Anon, please. I just got up.

>> No.46134913

I unironically think dwarves are alright

>> No.46134931
File: 203 KB, 910x492, plump elf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

A dwarf is fine too

>> No.46135236

Shouldn't you be lurking /d/warfchan?

>> No.46135300

>be proud dwarf
>elf rogue is putting heart shaped chocolate in my meals every night
>he tend to look at me every night too in an odd way
>heard from halfling pal that he sometimes stay up to watch me sleep

Should I be worried? Is this a normal thing for Elves to do?

>> No.46135321

No, that's normal elf behavior. They don't need sleep and tend to be on the lookout for threats at all times- As a dwarf, he views you as the closest, largest potential threat.

Also, ever seen an elf's asshole? That's not chocolate.

Though some species of elf do flirt by exchanging droppings

>> No.46135327

Have you been breathing too much stone dust?

Anyway, ignore them and they're leave you alone eventually.

>> No.46135334
File: 549 KB, 1109x1440, 1458043840449.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Elves rest for four hours. It's normal for them to find diversions for the remaining four before the rest of the company wakes up. Think nothing of it, this kind of thing tends to resolve itself sooner or later.

>> No.46135379

Dwarves pls go

>> No.46135828

Yes, it went up.

>> No.46135953

It's funny, but this post is way more truthful than it has any right to be.
>tall and lithe figure, lack of facial hair,
>minimal sexual dimorphism, hard to distinguish a male from a female
>unconventional fashion sense that only accents the lack of distinguishment between males and females
>otherworldly beauty that seems almost alien to most of the other races
Bowie and Swinton fit most elven stereotypes to a tee.

>> No.46136081

Except he died

I cried like a bitch that day

>> No.46136129

Do not weep for him, brother, for he is merely hiding, biding his time so that no one notices that he doesn't age.

>> No.46136173

Sometimes both at the same time!

>> No.46136213

Prove that Two Trees accident wasn't an iside job. Protip: u cant

>> No.46136448


Now that you're here, this is true.

>> No.46136521
File: 173 KB, 960x768, k1EevlV.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Of course it was. I have no idea which jackass in the sylvan planning department approved a sun temple in the middle of the fucking grove, but the end result was obvious to anyone from the start.

>> No.46136545

Who are those characters again? I remember a particularly amazing fanart that I want but can't find anymore. They're from League of Legends or something right?

>> No.46136572
File: 236 KB, 736x716, b0U4zOK.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Search this one and ye shall find.

>> No.46136590

Can't right now, just want their bloody names. It's probably in my bookmarks at home but that shit is such a mess it'd take me weeks to find it without something to go on.

>> No.46136611

retired but not forgotten, meerly mentioning his name is enough to make the female elders walk abit funny.

>> No.46136636

Chaira Bautista's OC from a long-running series. You can find a large gallery here. http://imgur.com/a/bOfQh/layout/grid

>> No.46136750


>> No.46136874
File: 964 KB, 1042x1377, Tw2_full_Iorveth_1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm just saying, it's not murder if it's a human.

You kill one of them, then the brood mare will have popped five more out by lunchtime.

>> No.46136951

Hmm... I went looking through the imgur and through her facebook (I completely forgot it was her...) but I didn't see the art I was thinking about. I am pretty sure it's a fanart since the style definitely wasn't hers, but the characters were. Well, guess I'll just have to dig through my masses of records to find it then.

>> No.46137092

Actually, nevermind, I was right at first but wrong that that first image was the character(s) I was thinking of. It is a LoL character I thought of... Kindred. Just found a picture of them while browsing deviantart for Chiara Bautista fanart.

>> No.46137584
File: 799 KB, 824x486, 456456457485-4441.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Pic related is what I was looking for, and how I elf.

>> No.46138099
File: 93 KB, 550x825, fighter_sword_elf_female_05.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm not a fucking drow ok?
My parents were an elf and a black human, why is this so hard for people to get?

>> No.46138217

Just tell people you're a wood elf

>> No.46138368

Human drow are more orc like

>> No.46138433
File: 489 KB, 1200x767, elf_roleplayers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I don't think I am a human I just play one in Humans and Cities.

>> No.46138595

i thought they were orc/drow abominations

>> No.46138624

I wish man, I wish

>> No.46138862
File: 35 KB, 511x774, 1389589588118.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

My half orc bastard children have tusks like their mother.
The only brown elves are wood elves, and overly tanned sun elves. Two grey skinned races never make a brown baby.

>> No.46140805


Pirotess. And Masamune from Full Metal Daemon

>> No.46141592


>> No.46143551

This image made me realise a new chapter was out.
Thanks anon.

>> No.46143821

fuckin nerd.

>> No.46144448

>tfw it's not a new chapter, it's a doujin that's been out for months

>> No.46146131
File: 777 KB, 390x400, 1433318217668.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Pirotess had a plot?

>> No.46146440
File: 50 KB, 519x705, 1441658490951.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Different anon here, mind spoonfeeding me?

>> No.46146594

it's literally called "Dungeon Meshi," mate
if you google it there are like four sites, top results, that you can read it at. Maybe more if you put "read manga online first."
Usually I'm pretty accepting of spoonfeeding but c'mon man you could at least try

>> No.46146652

Ay yo, any of you elf bitches finna smash wit a real human? Come get dis dick.

>> No.46147917

>implying our fine elven females would actually be on the Elfnet

Human, you know so little... Even amongst our species the Rules exist.

>> No.46148488
File: 235 KB, 810x1560, 0f90e352acbff4f8e90e180de2ec2d0f.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46148762
File: 115 KB, 426x382, 2e1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Is there a source?

>> No.46148835
File: 91 KB, 408x327, 1454913668176.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Be elf
>Living in a quiet village deep in the woodlands
>Pharmacist, so spend most of my days collecting herbs and brewing potions
>Whenever I'm free I love to take a stroll through the woods and read a book under my favorite apple tree
>Suddenly human refugees arrive
>Literally thousands of them, to a village with barely 6000 inhabitants
>They say their homeland is plagued by war and they need a safe place for themselves and their children
>Matriarch claims that it is our moral duty to aid these humans, that they will assimilate into our society, that they will compensate for our low birth rates and create a stronger, better race because diversity is our strength
>Being raised to love all living beings and not to question the wisdom of our blessed matriarch, I do not protest
>A week later
>Haven't seen my best friend even once
>Visit her house to ask why she doesn't come outside anymore
>Turns out she has been mugged and raped by human rape gangs
>Outraged, I complain to the matriarch
>Her response is, I quote: "the sudden rise of rape incidents is entirely unrelated to the arrival of human refugees"
>Stomp home angrily
>A few human men wolfwhistle at me
>One of them even shouts "It's not rape if it's an elf"

I'm not a racist, but can't we keep elf villages for the elves and human kingdoms for the humans?

>> No.46148881

ayooo gotta respec ar kultur

>> No.46148991
File: 391 KB, 960x800, 1421540894731.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Implying you wouldn't be doing the same thing if an orc tribe set up camp near by.

>> No.46149050

Don;'t worry dear cousin, the humans will pay their price.

>> No.46149071

>Low birth rates

Where the fuck did this myth come from and can it die?

>> No.46149179

Thanks for letting everybody know about your political opinions. Hey, did you know they even have a board for it?

>> No.46149259

Thanks for letting everyone know you're a rape apologist. Hey, did you know you could run for office since you kowtow to the established order?

>> No.46149316

would both of you please shut the fuck up.

>> No.46149351

Would you?

>> No.46149467

If my talk added nothing, then yes. You guys want to talk politics? Go to pol.

>> No.46149477

But what about all those human mages who've found immortality, one way or another?

>> No.46149575

anyone have a link to these comics?

>> No.46149670

Looks like our humble elf board has been invaded by humans. Or have my elven brethren really sunk so low as to resort to snapping at eachother like starving dogs? Stop emulating human behavior, and humans, please return to your own homes.

>> No.46149700

>not /pole/

>> No.46150018

>be ork
>my people killed some elf nobles when i was only 52
>i watched from afar
>remember their qt 60 year old daughter
>now I'm 114
>just moved to a new camp
>it's right outside her village
Should I ask her out? Will her friends kill me? I've always been short and bad at combat. What do I do?

>> No.46150087

what do you think is going to happen? Stay away and stay alive ork.

>> No.46150173

Sneak in, kidnap her, and rape her until she loves you.

>> No.46150192

But I only weigh sixteen stone, what if a guard catches me?

>> No.46150226

>weigh sixteen stone
>320 elfbong
If you sit on one of the guards you will probably crush him.

>> No.46150899

>Be Noldor
>Live in glorious Tirion upon Túna
>We finally get internet service over here
>About time, too
>Decide to check out what the Lingerers in Middle-Earth are doing
>Check out something called Elfchan
>Everyone's going on about man-elf relationships
>Eldar letting themselves get dominated by Atani
>Someone mentions something called a 'chocolate elf'
>Dwarves posting about how elves are terrible
>Men boasting about 'conquering' elven maidens
>Orcs are posting about raping Eldar and nobody cares

I know about Beren and Luthien, Tuor and Idril Celebrindal, and Arwen and Aragorn Elessar, but those were pretty unique examples
Y-you guys aren't being serious here, right?

>> No.46150976

>>Orcs are posting about raping Eldar and nobody cares
It's not rape, it's true love

>> No.46151030

Well, it's a 50/50 chance...

>> No.46151170
File: 1.39 MB, 1680x1050, scoia__tael_by_rinarvell-d4yvk8n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Again, I will supply you with the retort.

"It's not murder if it's a Human"

Also, you are now reading this in my voice.

>> No.46151537
File: 199 KB, 597x729, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You find this little guy outside your village. What do you do?

>> No.46152489

Swift mace to the head

>> No.46152498

>Find Orc child in the forest outside of my village
>Help him find his way home
>Ally with Orc tribe snu snu their women
>Team up with Orc tribe and cleanse the knife-ears
>Have a party while dancing amongst their Elven corpses
I'm doing the sensible thing here.

>> No.46152504

>Also, you are now reading this in my voice.
Am I supposed to know who that is?

>> No.46154115

Insult his uninspired color pallet and his amateur brush strokes. Then show him how arting should done.

>> No.46154582
File: 993 KB, 250x250, 1448181070367.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>and have over 300 confirmed kinslays on those boatfucking Teleri cowards
>300 confirmed kinslays

>> No.46154686

this gonna be the outfit of my next character

>> No.46154858
File: 79 KB, 500x433, 1458043721074.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46154973


>> No.46155491

>implying Politorc would ever have sex with Slutelf

>> No.46155612


>> No.46155655

The sooner you lot understand you were only put on this Middle-Earth as crafters of exotice weapons and breeders of fine maidens for humans to deflower as a reward for ending the lives of Dark Lords, the better.

>> No.46155686

Long lived species have lower birth rates. That's how nature typically works.

>> No.46155727


>> No.46155739

Is it wrong that I want to sexualise Marcille?

>> No.46155752

Try building a wall and kick all the criminals out. Make the world your australia

>> No.46155877

Got anymore links like that?

>> No.46156059

Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein? is that you?

>> No.46156067

I watched that, but I still can't read anything in his voice.

Hell, it was so forgettable I can't even remember what he sounded like.

>> No.46156813
File: 2.07 MB, 900x1274, Pelinal.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]




>> No.46156855

Why not let the thread die then?

>> No.46156923

stockholm syndrome you say?

>> No.46156943
File: 548 KB, 1920x1080, kindred.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>pic related is how i elf

So you're literally the personification of death, who ripped itself into two beings as to not be lonely?

Also that's the shittiest fanart ever, kindred isn't supposed to be remotely humyn

>> No.46157256

Yes, but it can't be helped.

>> No.46157383

hey time-robot, was morihaus really a winged minotaur? and did alessia really get porked by him?

>> No.46157447

The politically correct term is "Bulled"

>> No.46157810

well tiny crusader thy just did and theres noothing you can do about it. Maybe we'll just wait for you to die, some 30 years or what? and do it al again!

>> No.46158708

Just search for Dungeon Meshi
There's a few others but they are rape/scat/guro and aren't translated. Stay away.

>> No.46161298 [SPOILER] 
File: 923 KB, 900x1020, 1458587885220.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


You need to lighten up. Come here and let me kiss you.

>> No.46161519

But to the point of serious population decline and risk? That's fucking dumb. If this were the case elves nor dwarves could exist, they'd be wiped out within a few generations.

Let's assume immigration is not possible, what sort of birthrate would be viable for elves and dwarves that they have a stable population, and are able ro risk them in matters of war and not have the population wiped out?

>> No.46161534

What the fuck is going on with the one in the left's tits?

>> No.46161559
File: 59 KB, 425x600, 1412276574799.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Elf tummies are for kissing.

>> No.46162200

>elf jealus of ork strenght
>trying to act tough

>> No.46162340

Orc chan would nerver do such a thing to her!

>> No.46162490

>The beauty of an elf
>The strength of an orc
>The vitality of a human
>Devilish spice and heaven-sent grace

Could such a creature even exist?

The answer is yes, my friends. And better yet, the potential to become one lives inside every one of you.

You'll know us when we come by. Join our fellowship and discover the perfection within you.

>> No.46162583
File: 13 KB, 504x381, 1350776593434.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm playing a half orc half elf with a beefcake body thanks to his orc side and boyish good looks thanks to his elf side.

He also happens to be gay.

>> No.46163518

Probably the easiest way to handle it would be that elves are biologically about as fertile as humans, but rarely have children because they want to maintain a stable population and due to their long lives elf deaths are quite rare. Maybe their females can choose to prevent insemination/terminate the pregnancy at will (most mammals can actually do that), allowing them to easily limit the amount of children they have.

That way you wouldn't get a massive population problem caused by having an extremely long lived population that probably stays able to breed for most of their lives, but also won't have a situation where any significant population loss from war or natural disaster would be nearly unrecoverable.

>> No.46163856

hard gay, straight gay or camp gay?

>> No.46164105

gay gay, i would presume

>> No.46164183
File: 227 KB, 514x1000, elf_jungle_wizard_by_denmanrooke-d5j5575.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Delicious chocolate elves are the Sea Elves, who hail from the isles of the Silver Archipelago in their magic galleons powered by dolphin sex

>> No.46164657

Sauce on this?

>> No.46166153

Slavic Halflings are now a thing. Death to Gnome scum!

>> No.46166374

>half orc half elf
>boyish good looks.
Tell me you ain't serious.

>> No.46166460

Wasn't there another pic like this?

>> No.46166500
File: 19 KB, 245x213, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I want a cute elf girlfriend

>> No.46166567

The one where a group of elves sexually assault some orcs
Or the one where the elf lady is disappointed that the orc is not into elf rape

>> No.46166954


>> No.46167338

who wouldn't

>> No.46167436

People who want cute elf boyfriends?

>> No.46167703


>> No.46167935

Why not have both?

>> No.46168043
File: 56 KB, 929x655, Sark.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You subsapient baboon.
You literal human.

How dare you speak, you swarthy city monkey. How dare you open your big lipped, corn encrusted, menthol cigarette smelling mouth?

You are mortal trash, John Smith Roadbuilder McUrbanite. Universally despised, derided and mocked. Your nationality and ear shape offers no hope to the world that human lands can ever prosper. Crawl back in to the Southern jungle you came out of, you literal orangutan.

I hope you decide to sail your grandfathers skip to the Elflands and rape some sheep, as is in the human's nature. It would still be the whitest pussy you ever had. Give Illandil and Sylvanthas a chance for some target practice, your sole use to the world. Humans' obsession with a few windswept islands in the ocean is hilarious but sad. Coincidentally its the only worthwhile contribution a human has made to the medical field. The MUH MANIFEST DESTINY sentiment in the average human is both an early warning sign of autism in children, and early on set Alzheimer's in adults.

Take your mortal hairy fingers off your keyboard, and never talk about elvish affairs again you antiquated farm equipment. No amount of cheekbone surgery or ear trimming will make you an elf. It's about as delusional of an idea as your daydreams of Numenorian heritage. Your crude makeup isn't fooling anyone.

You human.

You make Mordor look like a beacon of civilization.

You are the Baltimore of Middle Earth

Go fertilize Pelinor Fields with you and your families corpses, its the best you can hope for in life. For the first time in your life human, you will have a job. Making food for a race of beings of infinitely higher worth than you. Gondorian cattle. Coincidentally, it would be the first time a human "man" provided for a family.

Die, mortal. No one would miss you. Except for the Orcs, who now would have no one to make them look good.

>> No.46168137
File: 276 KB, 774x1024, 1423020797847.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why is he so bae Elfchan?

>> No.46168149

Fuck off Time Robot, you give humanity a bad name.

>> No.46168402

What gives you, a pasty scrawny loudmouth, the right to talk down on the Orcs? Our race is infinitely more noble than yours. We, who had to fight for our place in the world, are by nature stronger than you pansies. Your people are like twigs compared to our strong Orc chiefs.

>> No.46168707

Yet your people pass away like leaves in the wind, leaving the twigs to remain.

>> No.46168758

Between hard gay and straight gay.

>> No.46168802
File: 150 KB, 786x1017, 1448946663694.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


You and your entire race are pathetic and a blight to be removed.

>> No.46168861

is there a difference?

>> No.46168869

Living to be old is a sign of weakness.

>> No.46168895

da white elf be keepin' us down, mang

>> No.46168938
File: 389 KB, 437x581, 1398460775603.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>implying we ever grow old

>> No.46168959

Depends on how many holes you plan on needing.

>> No.46168970

So is dying.

>> No.46169046

What if I want them to fill my holes?

>> No.46169091

That sounds like an unhealthy emotional attachment.

>> No.46169100

Then you want a cute elf boyfriend.

>> No.46170025

What is this comic?

>> No.46170337

Ooga booga to you too, pig.

>> No.46170592

I like the way you think
you too

>> No.46171827
File: 1.32 MB, 894x1456, W1_concept_zygfryd.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Indeed. It seems we never learn from the treachery of the Elder Races. It's not enough that we wall them up in their own districts. Something must be done about these knaves in our midst! To the pyre with all of the, I say!

>> No.46171877

Also, you are now reading this in my voice.

>> No.46172400

>genuinely racist
>not pressured into the position by his chivalrous (but misplaced) loyalty to the order
6/10 made me reply

>> No.46172551

I'd honestly love to see more flustered and nervous young human guys being dominated and taken over by the more older and experienced Elf women.

>> No.46172575

Don't we all?

>> No.46172581


>> No.46172586

And I'd love to see less fetishizing and more normal everyday interactions. But this is a board full of sad virgins and weird nerds so that shit'll never happen.

>> No.46172675

Welcome to fuckin /tg man. What're you expecting? Intellectual and smart conversations?

>> No.46172794

Honestly I kinda stopped expecting anything years ago. I still hope sometimes though, when I'm feeling particularly retardedly optimistic.

>> No.46172829
File: 2.97 MB, 200x180, 1455317299991.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I know people probably say this shit all the time but the sfw fantasy boards on reddit sound better for what you want. anything on 4chan is fapbait/fetish material. and elves are for raping, this is fact.

>> No.46172891

why are you using porn as a reaction image?

>> No.46172946

Well I'm just old. 4chan was my hangout since before reddit existed, and I'm not about to abandon it for a sub-par shit site.

>> No.46173063

to emphasize my point.

fair enough

>> No.46173156


>> No.46173545
File: 355 KB, 446x400, laughing elf whores.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.46174161

Knife-Ears honestly deserve alot more respect from us than deserved.

>> No.46174968
File: 68 KB, 612x372, 1457037621814.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>You are the Baltimore of Middle Earth

>> No.46175279

>you meet fine looking elf in a tavern (a bar, which is pretty much a setting for love and romance these days apparently)
>you muster up the courage to speak with you
>she likes you and surprisingly has a lot in common with you and even likes the same media and genres you enjoy
>meet more often and start dating >you both fall in love
>finally have sexy boom-boom action
>you cum in her
>she gets pregnant
>you two have child
>child grows up to be sweet, smart and just as loving like you two

>> No.46176159

>you muster up the courage to speak with you

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