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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.43648308 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

*salesman walks onto stage in front of a billion orks, being broadcasted to every ork*
>Orks and other bigger orks
>are you tired of being shot, stabbed, or otherwise beaten by weak non ork squishies?
>tired of being zapped by weird clanky robots?
>well not anymore, Introducing My brand new armor for you
>Supa Ard boyz armor
>for only the toughest, strongest, meanest fastest orks
>its bulletproof, even the parts that dont cover anything
>its special because it reflects energies that go zap or pew killing that weak ranged ninny
>some crazy guy has a power weapon? nope no effect whatsoever
>this extremely powerful armor is all yours...but is it?
>due to high demand I only have 1 billion more units to sell, so every ork here gets a full set FREE, simply attach the armor by pulling down over your head, and then go crazy, its like being in super power armor.

*salesman stops talking, gazing out over the crowds of a billion orks*
>you there, big boss, can you volunteer a weak grot?
*grot comes on stage, salesman puts the armor on him*
>weak, cowardly *pulls out bolt pistol* AND DEAD
>Shoots grot in the head at point blank, grit cries and cowers but suffers no damage at all
*orks sit in stunned silence*
>"grot...dat git iz da tuffest"
*salesman pulls out a huge powerfist*
>and even, THIS *punches grot with full might*
>grot tumbles over, but suffers no damage
*salesman sells all of the armors, leaves the planet happy*

Orks go into battle convinced their surplus imperial guard armor will protect them, suddenly become bulletproof super orks that cant die

>salesman is sent to death for selling the most surplus

>> No.43648326

>the whole time the salesman had used dud bullets, and a paper mache powerfist

>his volunteer ork was his partner, the grot was just stupid as hell.

>> No.43648450

dear Emperor, what have you done OP?
>Supa Ard Boy Armor gets circulated
>new and improved orks meet Imperial Guard
>wez gonna krump dem humies
>wait uh min-it
>deyz wearin are armer!
>deyz invi-dincible too!

>> No.43648495


>> No.43648499

>cue orkz stripping guardsmen in the field to take away their armor

>> No.43648552

Orks are the most powerful force in the galaxy. The only reason that everyone else is still around is because they've just never thought of shit like this. A single ork having this idea would mean the end of the imperium

>> No.43649052

He won't make it through the first sentence unless he's a particularly large ork himself.

If he is an ork, then Emperor help us all

>> No.43649113


No it wouldn't. If nothing could hurt them then what's the fun in fightin? Not to mention it's no good if you can't hurt each other since they almost always devolve into fighting each other when there isn't anyone else worth fighting.

chalk this up as another "The Waagghh can do anything" meme.

>> No.43649130

Orks reproduce like wind pollinated hermaphroditic fungi, right?
Gamete spores float through the air from orks in one camp to orks in another area of the planet, where they fertilize other spore gametes and diploid spores are released when orkz get stomped, yes?

>> No.43649206

''Eaven Stompin' Gorken Morken vs Getter-Emperor of Mankind?

>> No.43649278

So if every ork believed that they had an invulnerable save because they just witnessed an ork not die from normal ork killers.

well Orks wield large pieces of sharp metal and manage to destroy highly advanced armors, used by any enemy is it because they believe they can, because they have faith that they are stronger than the weak humans?

either way Im pretty sure they would put on this super armor, and the warp itself would align to give them invulnerable saves that reflect ranged attacks, not because imperial guard flak armor is good, but because a billion orks are simultaneously believing in themselves to be stronger

>> No.43649394


If they did have armor that helped them to shrug off ranged attacks better it's because some Mekboy built it and they understand that it works that way. Based on what you're saying they could slap two peices of steel together and it just turns into a gun because the ork doing believes hard enough that it does. Now if you said something like

"Dis 'ere rmor is gud fer fightin dem blueberries and dere shoota cuz its got dat ab-, abla-, da armor splodes wut got shot and you's get to keep krumpin dem wit your splody armor!"

So now the Orkz came up with explose ablative armor (surprised they havn't done that already) so they can be even more dead killy then usual and it would probably be something only a select few boys and probably only Nobs could get their hands on. which is far better then;

"A billion orkz now believe that imperial weapons can no longer hurt them so it's true."

>> No.43649453

>Based on what you're saying they could slap two peices of steel together and it just turns into a gun because the ork doing believes hard enough that it does.

I'd hate to burst your bubble but uh


>> No.43649469

What would a salesman do with a big heap of currently decomposing ork teeth?

>> No.43649815

>to this revolutionary new invention
>look meaner, fight longer, be STRONGER
>Simply visit one of our offices and prepare yourself for a one in a lifetime event
>we remove those weak human teeth and replace them with powerful Ork ones. never be weak again

>ork spores in the teeth infect the humans, get into their bloodsteam and transforms them into bloodthirsty mutants, eventually dying and resporing into orks...beginning a new cycle of orks.

*salesman sips a mojito and laughs to himself*

>on top of his pile of credits and teeth

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