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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.43511583 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Excuse me, machine spirit, but I have no idea what's wrong with you, and the captain of the ship is threatening to toss me out of an airlock if I don't get you working again. Please just work. I'll light another candle, come onnnnnn.

>> No.43511650 [DELETED] 

Have you tried praying harder?

>> No.43511671 [DELETED] 

just tell him killing you will anger the machine spirit more

>> No.43511704

"Before I will function again i require a libation of strong spirits. Obtain some from the crew!"

>> No.43511717

Another candle will not make up for you replacing the sacred oils with Grox fat.

>> No.43511774

Have you tried to turn it off and on again?

>> No.43511840

Turn me on fleshy, you know what I mean.

>> No.43511854

>Psychologist 1: "Man my one patient just isn't responding to therapy. What the fuck is wrong with him?"
>Psychologist 2: "Have you considered killing and reviving him? That always works!"

>> No.43511883

Fuck you, asshat, the reason I ain't working is because you fucked me in the mechanical ass.
Good luck breathing, fuckface.

>> No.43511939

I'm sorry, Dave, I can't let you do that.

>> No.43511978

"Wh-what do you-"
>"Put your fingers in the port you slut."

>> No.43512021

"I run on ethanol. Therefore, I require all the Amasec you can muster."

>> No.43512037

You're one to complain. You take it every socket all day long.

>> No.43512090 [DELETED] 

Hey, fuck you, Greg, I didn't ask to be a fucking computer, I wanted to be a gun, or a plane or some thing cooler. Not taking in ass every night.

>> No.43512953

Have you attempted the Rite of Lazarus?

>> No.43514946 [DELETED] 

You kill THEN revive them? Thats what I was forgetting!

>> No.43515388

“Cease. You dishonour the machine spirit. Speak the litany first, and only
then strike the siding so.”
–Osmin Ril, Inspector of the Rites, Factorum Aleph VII

>> No.43515405

Didn't Perturabo actually do this to some Tech-Priests in Angel Exterminatus

>> No.43516276


One of his tetrarchs used bolt to the head techniqe as motivation when dealing with Dark Mechanius, but I don't recall anyone being jetisoned.

Anyway, I came to this thread to see if it has already been turned from harmless fun to exterminatus-scale shitstorm by frustrated faggots screaming about "forced meme" and such.

Strange, but I feel kinda disapoint.

>> No.43516553

What if I throw a water bucket in your fucking circuits, you autistic computer? I'm gonna get jettisonned anyway.

>> No.43516688

You made me chuckle pretty hard

>> No.43516851

Is it plugged in at the wall?

>> No.43516866


These are white candles. I wanted red.

Turning off the Gellar field in 3...2...

>> No.43517167

Toll the great bell once

Light candle to guide the techno soul back home.

Remove connections to any external cogitators and power source.

Bow head and contemplate the nature of ones mortality. Intone the prayer of holy half-life in the sacred speech.

Rea attach all that was detached.

Activate the machine once more.

Toll the great bell once.

Extinguish candle.

The Rite of Lazarus is complete.

>> No.43518061

Turn off the Gellar field. You don't really need it.

>> No.43520483


Error: 404
Critical auditory drivers not found.

I am sorry Operator.
Due to insufficient levels of 'Robot Rock,' core functions have been locked out.

Please reconfigure vox system before rebooting.
Have a pleasant day!

>> No.43520602

> The Mecanicus now have to play music according to each machine spirit specific taste.
> Nobody else in the Imperium believe that, they think the magos just want to organise concerts.

>> No.43520677

>continued thread necromancy

It's embarrassing to watch.

>> No.43521403

This is a board where old threads 404 after long periods of inactivity, the only way to perform necromancy here would be to somehow continue posting in a thread that has been archived.

>> No.43521473

"Thread Necromancy" is just what it's called when people bump a thread with an inane post whenever it's close to being deleted, typically on page 9 or 10. On /tg/, that's something to the order of every three hours.

>> No.43521604

>Cryptek pop in the ship
>fix the computer
You welcome flesh bag

>> No.43522269

>posts oldfag wisdom
>still too newfag to ignore threads he doesn't like

>> No.43522333

Thread necromancy is restricted to forums which don't autodelete old threads, and as such can have threads still technically alive weeks, months or even years past the time anyone actually posted in them.
As long as a thread is still alive on 4chan, it's fair game.

>> No.43522408

This isn't necromancy you turbofaggot. It's not even a day old.

For real thread necromancy, visit /m/, /s/, or /po/.

>> No.43522455

Bumping dead threads just to pretend they've got life in them isn't restricted to anything. It just seems you've got a bit of a different definition of what a dead thread means.

This thread? It was a still born. Especially considering this is just a repeat thread.

But, really, I'm not here to be dragged into your little necromancy, so I leave you to your embarrassing efforts. See ya.

>> No.43522515

Ah, so you know you're talking bullshit, but you just want to get your digs in and run away before someone calls you out for the retard you are?

Fair enough.

>> No.43522551

You idiot.

The only proper way to respond to these threads is-


>> No.43522631

now that's the stuff

>> No.43522665

>Muh necromancy is evul!!!
Man you just fuck off with that. Necromancy isn't evil, it's the users. If a wizard uses fire spells to burn down a city it doesn't mean that fire spells are evil so why should necromancy be seen as evil when some asshole summons and undead horde to destroy a town? You don't even need a death cult to teach you it, there are several methods to learn it. Don't you know that large amounts of light energy will give you cancer, how is negative energy always bad when that is blatantly out there!?

Learn your privilege you paladin dwarf meme not /tg/ related /pol/ sjwlbgtbsfuck shitposters!

>> No.43522856

"Tonight at eleven, reports of a local mechanical xeno molesting several on-board life support systems in the sector. What YOU can do to protect yourself and your machine spirits."

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