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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.42973896 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Lets crack a rib together my dear traditional gentlemen

>> No.42974158

>> No.42974210

>> No.42974343

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>> No.42974626

>>42974573
That is one smart farmer-adventurer.

>> No.42974642

>> No.42974697

>>42974571
Technically this is a board game so I'm pretending it's /tg/ related.

>> No.42974702

>> No.42974711

>>42974573
I want that guy in my campaign

>> No.42975396

>> No.42975408

>> No.42975474

>> No.42975585

>> No.42975675

>>42975474
I hate this image, because I can relate and I loath that. I get the whole appeal, and it makes my skin itch.

>> No.42976128

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>> No.42976261

>>42975474
A great disciple of grandfather Nurgle, It's good to see his faithful hold strong!

>> No.42976269

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>> No.42976393

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>> No.42976487

>>42976362
Lack of ambition there.

>> No.42976544

>> No.42976578

>> No.42976612

>> No.42976683

>> No.42976708

>>42976544
>mea latii
>kekkitus.mosaic

>> No.42976738

>> No.42977004

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>> No.42977376

>> No.42977439 [SPOILER] 

So... What does Mootwo have to say on board culture?

>> No.42977471

>> No.42977751

a classic

>> No.42977814

>>42974573
Players like this are the best. Not at first, when they're still figuring this stuff out, but later on when they have more experience. These are the players that will surprise you by interacting with the setting around them and trying things that you didn't expect.

>> No.42977892

>>42977751
I need the whole story. That was an awesome read

>> No.42977999

>>42976578
Natural 20 is butt stuff.

>> No.42978022

>>42977892
Chapter Approved, a column from White Dwarf. There should be some compiled volumes of it online.

>> No.42978061

>>42977999

Subsequent rolls to do butt stuff do not require a nat 20, however.

>> No.42978095

>>42977471
I want to play this campaing

>> No.42978124

>>42978095
Don't we all? I'd do anything for a group of friends who would want to play a campaign like that.

>> No.42978653

>>42977439
He said to have a poll. Still waiting on the results.

>> No.42978659

>>42976306
Oh God.

I watched this when I was a little kid, I remember. Oh God.

>> No.42978794

>> No.42978916

does anyone have a pic from later on when it had more replies?

>> No.42979110

>> No.42979219

>>42977999
Well you got trips. That's at least a blowie.

>> No.42979287

I got a few I can share.

>> No.42979302

>>42979287

>> No.42979340

>>42979302

>> No.42979362

>>42979340

>> No.42979380

>>42979362

>> No.42979403

>>42979362
Not exactly /tg/ but fuck if it doesn't make me laugh every damn time.

>> No.42979446

>>42979403

>> No.42979471

>>42979446

>> No.42979494

>>42979110
Did Siddell draw that?

>> No.42979540

>>42979494
It's like so many things on my harddrive anon. I have no idea how they got there. I have something on the order of 20-30 different versions of In the Hall of the Mountain King, and no memory of ever downloading them.

>> No.42979585

>>42979446

>> No.42979611

>>42979585
And last but not least, a reminder to us all...

>> No.42979785

>> No.42979940

>>42976128
Someone failed basic geometry and human anatomy. You can't actually bend your wrist in a way that would result in cutting your own hand off. Here's a couple of videos of a dude showing pretty clearly it's just not going to happen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLzvznM2dDo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wheoetJXv3U

>> No.42979943

>>42979785
Sauce?

>> No.42980053

>> No.42980186

>> No.42980965

>> No.42982203

>>42976544
>who designed this, an alien?
My sides when

>> No.42982615

>> No.42982757

>>42982615

>> No.42982788

>>42982757

>> No.42984728

>>42979943
Queen's Blade

>> No.42985063

>>42979943
Queen's Blade season 2

>> No.42985449

>> No.42985488

>> No.42985539

>> No.42985730

>> No.42985832

>>42985730
And then, without warning, the slavs arrived

>> No.42985996

>>42975408
I'm still made about this. Not the errata, I don't give a shit about that. Just how stupid this is.

>> No.42986047

>> No.42986049

>> No.42986188

>>42982615
Only way this could have been better was if they stabbed him in the chest with corn on the cob.

>> No.42986536

>>42986188
Or killed him with a holy t-bone.

>> No.42987174

>>42979940
Yeah, but won't another jedi just slide his down the blade and cut off the side of the cross guard anyway?

>> No.42987333

>>42987174
Have lightsabers ever slid like that in the movies?

>> No.42988147

>>42985832
someone said slavs?

>> No.42989030

I never get tired of this one.

>>42976578

Is there really a person-sized Death Star for that game?

>> No.42989434

>>42976223
He would still have to succeed a grapple to get a hold of the guy, then would have to use his action the next round to throw him, assuming he holds the grapple.

>> No.42989677

>>42982615
Tomatoes are Holy Fruit?

>> No.42989702

>>42989677
They are when they're raised in blessed fields with holy water.

>> No.42989760

>>42989702

Ah, I misread.

>> No.42989770

>>42989030
I approve of these shenanigans

>> No.42990281

>>42973896

>> No.42990299

>>42990281

>> No.42990318

>>42990299

>> No.42990336

>>42990318

>> No.42990349

>>42988147
Good fucking god I haven't laughed that hard in a long ass time.

>> No.42990383

>>42975585
OMH and Hassan?

>> No.42990456

>>42976544
Isn't that just a lefty-ways Europe?

>> No.42990597

>>42990456
Mostly. It's a little off in places.

>> No.42990850

>>42987333
Yes. They do it all the time to deflect blows. Thats the problem with the emitter placement.

>> No.42990875

>>42976362
howdoIturnthison should be the file name.

>> No.42992280

>>42976128
Ugh, this idiocy. You'd only manage to actually hit yourself with the guard if you were a blithering idiot who had no idea what he was doing whatsoever. People who know absolutely nothing about how to handle weapons or even how human joints work need to just shut up about it.

>> No.42992282

>>42990318
That's a goddamned High Bear.

>> No.42992309

>>42974573
>dungeon_meshi.jpg

>> No.42992939

>>42990456
ThatsTheJoke.jpg

>> No.42993158

>>42992280
The only problem i see with it is the emitter bit sticks out so any lightsaber attacks sliding down to the guard would slice it off.

>> No.42993275

>>42988147
Oh I think he said slavs alright.

>> No.42993343

>>42993275
Oh this is awesome. What can be more elven than completely refusing to either change or aknowlege that other races exist.

>> No.42993675

>> No.42993686

>> No.42993695

>> No.42993711

>> No.42993717

>> No.42993722

For fuck's sake, there's now a filename thread, a This is how I thread, and a /tg/ humor thread.

JUST PICK ONE "POST RANDOM IMAGES" THREAD AND STICK TO IT. WE DON'T NEED MULTIPLE COMPETING FORMATS FOR THE SAME THREAD.

>> No.42993729

>> No.42993735

>>42993343
Yea, with all the lewd elf posting that goes around it's easy to ignore the whole psychotic bloodlust aspect of the race that crops up in some settings.

Also, we're over 100 posts into this thread talking bout elves, and no ones posted this yet. I'm disappointed.

>> No.42993750

>>42993722
with a short inspection I concluded that this one is older

so go be edgy to the anon who made the other one

>> No.42993763

>> No.42993764

>>42993717
Ah, wizards, an eternal source of whimsy and amusement for traditional gamers everywhere.

>> No.42993767

>>42993750
That's why I'm posting in this one.

Likely, the solution is just to combine all the threads, so that you post a picture, change the filename, and say "This is how I [whatever]", and call it a /tg/ /b/ thread.

>> No.42993788

>>42993764

>> No.42993789

>> No.42993958

>> No.42993972

>> No.42993990

>> No.42994754

>>42990281
Bad GMing right there. It should always be assumed that basic and necessary tasks are taken care of during downtime. I didn't say my character bathed in the last six weeks, but you assume he did because he's not a barbarian class, so why can't you assume basic weapon maintenance and ammunition was seen to?

>> No.42995026

>>42993275
>Elf slav, wat do

>> No.42995169

>>42995026
Same thing you do with any elf, fae, demon, undesirables, etc.
Remove (insert).

>> No.42995540

>>42974702
>ect

How can people spell a three letter word incorrectly?

It's a mistake I see so often on 4chan it can't be a typo all the time.

ET CETERA.

>> No.42995666

>>42976544
There is a better one of these out there.

I do hate it. Nobody ever comes up with alternatives.

>> No.42995702

>>42976683
>nobody has posted the screencap of a guy coming home one day to see his cat sitting on his sofa, all his stuff scattered about a huge trail of blood, which he follows, up stairs, to his bedroom and sees an burglar trying to staunch his wounds inflicted by the cat. Burglar goes basically "you can turn me, just help me stop the bleeding"

>> No.42995813

>>42995702
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/hero-bengal-cat-leo-scares-98886

>> No.42995873

>>42985449
>mfw I have no friends
>mfw I'l never EVER learn to play RPG's
>mfw I'll never EVER do something like this if I DM either


HA HA! TIME FOR MEMES!

>> No.42995892

>>42995813
Hahahahaha. Oh wow.

>> No.42995914

>>42995813
>dogfags think cats aren't bros

>> No.42995950

>>42995892
Cats are bros if they love you enough.

Story of a cat saving a womans life when she went into a diabetic coma (cat bugged her son awake until he came to help and he called amberlamps)

My cat is cool, she loves my mother more thou (well, it should just be my mothers, but I'm bed ridden due to brain damage I suffered when I was 12, which causes lots of problems, I can walk.. just... yeah...) or maybe she just likes being able to jump down off my mothers back (she loves climbing on peoples shoulders and lying there, I'm 6ft 5 so maybe too tall when I do get up, if ever).

>> No.42995997

>>42995950
Also, I wasn't bed ridden till 19. I'm 25.

Just... yeah.

>> No.42996027

>> No.42996064

>>42976393

I've never really seen someone OVERDO 40k, until now. I mean, sure all those things COULD happen, but why are they burning bodies and losing 80% of your crew and being in the wrong time and place are MAJOR (and rare) catastrophes.

Just... fucking say "It's age of sail, in Space, plus demons." DONE.

>> No.42996071

>>42995873
Play online?

>> No.42996090

>> No.42996097

>>42976362
why the fuck the artist felt the need to vandalize his own work by plastering his name across the center right like that instead of signing it in the corner is beyond me. that's distracting as fuck.

>> No.42996112

>>42996064
It's a troll image, I believe. It's used to trigger responses like that.

>>42996071
Could do, but isn't half the fun meeting up with people and doing it face to face? I could just buy MMO's (I do).


This picture, I can't remember what it's about, furfags I think.

>> No.42996125

>>42977346
First time I save a storytime, mostly because I want to try running a campaing with Shane as the BBEG.

>> No.42996132

>>42996090
>mfw i'm native american
>mfw when i'll never have a stashe that awesome
>mfw i'm to ashamed to show my naked face
A-at least i have my hair.....

>> No.42996151

>>42996112
Go to a store that has groups and mingle a bit. Chances are if you're not a complete social autist you'll get one invite by the end of the night.

>> No.42996168

>>42996112
I see a space marine looking thing killing a kobold looking thing. On the kobold looking thing I see writen "Polans". Could somone translate what the hell the post that prompted creation of the pic was about?

>> No.42996178

>>42996151
Astonishingly, not all cities have GW stores.

>> No.42996232

>>42985449
>Friend comes over late to DnD night
>DM says he can play the door
>We approach the door
>"Don't open me, I'm trapped!"
>Rogue checks for traps. Good roll but finds nothing
>Discuss for 30 minutes whether we should open the door or not
>Door continues to freak out every time we try to open it

>DM tells us flat out its not trapped but we don't believe him
>All that arguing with the door later we finally open it
>Thanks to our loud and long argument with the door, all the goblins on the other side heard us and were readying their weapons

>> No.42996238

>>42996178
Theres no store of any kind even mingling slightly in tabletops ANYWHERE near you? Did you try googling your area and various tabletop names? Someone somewhere has to be looking for somebody to play with.

>> No.42996250

>>42996178
There are FLGSes that aren't GW stores. If you REALLY don't know how to use google, then go to the nearest comic book shop - it might even also be your FLGS, I lived near one that was, but if it isn't, there is almost certainly someone there who knows where it is.

>> No.42996252

>>42980053
FUCKING 11/10

>> No.42996283

>>42976223
I like this story, I really do, but....

>and then he spends 4 fate points

You can only spend one fate point per action. So yeah.

>> No.42996331

>>42996283
looks to me like a case of good old homeruling

>> No.42996337

>>42996151
It's what I plan to do. But I'm the bed ridden fag. Going out would require lots of diamorphine and stuff. So I'd be completely fucked.

It's one fo the things that keeps me from killing myself, surprisingly.

Meeting up with neckbeards to play neckbeard games.

>>42996132
Shame hair growth formula doesn't work on facial hair. But, find testosterone from somebody and pump it!

>>42996168
I hoped somebody would translate it.

>> No.42996465

>> No.42996623

>> No.42996677

>>42996337
Even if i did get some testosterone pills it would just give me the shaggy mexican look rather than a true stash.

>> No.42996703

>>42996677
Time to buy a fake one them! Fake it till you make it!

>> No.42997060

>>42995914
Wow. You've made me sad on multiple levels and lol at the same time.

Well played anon.

>> No.42997205

>>42993158
I honestly don't know how people can miss that. It's not that it's particularly dangerous to the user, it's that it's useless.

>> No.42997279

>>42997205
Wasn't it dismissed as a exhaust port or some shit?

Also, doesn't Star Wars setting have Lightsaber Tonfas?

>> No.42997532

>>42996112
its full of polish memes
rough translation
>it would be better if op would draw pope* in God Emperor's armour fighting lizard-headed robot. There should be Astar** with female body in dress behind him and he should be covering his mouth, everything is happening in mythical Olympus
*John Paul II polish pope loved by everyone in Poland, polish chans has taken him as a mascot because if you joking on Pope you're creating huge amount of butthurt
**Aśtar szeran leader of heavenly angels and admiral of space armada that will save the Earth from known czech sect

>> No.42997585

>>42997532
I wish to be surprised by this revelation but alas, I am not. This sounds exactly like something poles would do.
Ty based anon.

>> No.42997923

>>42997532
Thanks anon.

LE KURWA MEME :D

>> No.42999283

>> No.42999358

>> No.42999444

>>42993735
I dont get it

>> No.42999580

>>42999444
Because trips, I'll explain:

In Tolkein's works, the Fourth Age marks the diminishing of the elves and the ascent of Man (humans) as the dominant race in the world. The LOTR trilogy takes place during the start of the Fourth Age, which is why the elves leave on that boat to nowhere.

>> No.42999817

>> No.43000191

>>42985730
>> Bulgaria is often excluded, because the DM really, really hates Bulgarians

>> No.43000229

>>42999580
LOTR takes place at the end of the Third Age actually, though the epilogue takes place in the Fourth Age. Specifically the Fourth Age starts with the destruction of Sauron and the One Ring. Afterwards most of the elves leave on boats to go to the Undying lands, though some stay and eventually go into permanent hiding.

>> No.43000593

>>42999817
The fuck did I just read?

>> No.43001065

>>42990281
I actually created a 1 point feature in GURPS for one of my characters that says he always loads his guns to the maximum capacity allowed including one in the chamber. It's so the GM won't try to catch him unprepared and he is a paranoid character so it fits anyway.

>> No.43001590

>>43000593
I don't know if that's whitewolf or not, but seriously some of their shit is just so fucking rife with middle schooler disease that you can't tell the difference between the supplements and the half-assed fan content written by children.

There are basically two ways you can identify goofy vampire-related bullshit as decidedly NOT written by Whitewolf;
1) Someone took the time to make sure the mechanics are good, and/or the rules are unambiguous.
2) It's clearly tongue-in-cheek and self-aware enough to be kind of enjoyable.

>> No.43002046

>>42997279

The 'space marine' in the lower left is an ork in disguise.

>> No.43004695

An oldie, not sure if its' been posted yet.

>>42993158
>>42993158

Not to mention that if the blade did slide down that far, the main emitter would probably be chopped off before the guard became useful even if the emitters didn't stick out like that.

>> No.43005013

>people fail to realize that there's plenty of lightsaber resistant/immune materials
>people who don't even think that the handle is probably made of that

>> No.43005213

>>43005013
That'd be excusable if it were entirely EU stuff, but for fuck's sake, even Darth Vader's armor had it - we clearly see Luke's lightsaber deflected by his pauldron during hte duel in ESB. Yet people are mystified by the idea that maybe they thought of that and put metal there to protect the user's hand.

>> No.43005527

>>43005213
Why not make the whole handguard out of that metal then if it's so great, instead of only the part that lightsabers would touch.

>> No.43005617

>>42997279

Exhaust ports is a weird explanation. The blade looks a little bit wobbly and unstable so they could go with "it's a SOOPER POWERFULLLL blade and that's why it needs exhaust", but I can't imagine them going that route.

And yes there are lightsaber tonfas, and lightsaber whips, and lightsabers that for some reason have a second blade at a 30 degree angle from the first one so it's like a lightsaber wishbone, the list goes on...

>> No.43005689

>>42999444
>>42999580
>>43000229

That doesn't seem funny or clever enough to warrant that kind of a reaction

>> No.43005733

>>43005689
Jokes never seem that funny if they have to be explained. It's just something you'd have to know Tolkein to really get.

It was pretty funny, I chuckled.

>> No.43005843

>>42985449
I tried this, one of the players figured it out instantly. Boo.

>> No.43006839

>>42975474
Cool, I saw that on /v/ too.

>> No.43007280

>>42977471
There is a point where you should stop, and you have clearly passed it.

But you should keep going, to see what happens.

>> No.43011450

>>42974573
Did the time ever come because I sure as hell want to see that?

>> No.43011673

>>42979471
So many knights, and no Suge Knight.

>> No.43013302

>>42989030
I'm not too familiar with 40k, so I don't quite get the end of this; but I'm assuming it was bad.
Good read though.

>> No.43013522

>>43006839
You did? I'm surprised that one gets around, I'm curious, what are they saying about us over there?

>> No.43013576

>> No.43013680

>>42993789
I want to play an alternate WW2 game where elves like this are another faction in the war. so we fight their magic bows and creatures and shit with modern for the time weapons and military. Might end up being a curb stomp overall but still seems like fun.

>> No.43014104

>>42974573
1) Level up stat with ball and chain. Get really good at swinging it round head fast.

2) Train/enchant pigeons to always fly in unison

3) Lash pigeons together

4) Swing pigeons around on leashes to build momentum

5) Shout "Fly!"

>> No.43014186

>>42975396
Those descriptions of Intelligence and Wisdom are off.

Intelligence the ability to DEDUCE that a tomato is a type of fruit.

Intuition is the ability to deduce that a tomato shouldn't belong in a fruit salad.

Wisdom is just how much knowledge you've picked up. It's an open-ended category of skill rather than a universal metric stat.

>> No.43014241

>>42976345
>vaguely grey-brown woman
why do artists do this

>> No.43014275

>>42976544
The joys of senseless pessimism

>>42995666
Pipe down Satan, I enjoyed it

>> No.43014325

>>42977004
The only case I can think of a villain's last words being "why couldn't it have been razor blades, WHY"

>> No.43014410

>>43013302
>>42989770
https://09cd64678bddc0198cca7fef0df8ce7b359fff2d.googledrive.com/host/0B3Z9sXPTD9rpN2owNGdVWmdFWXM/agp.html

>> No.43014551

>>42996125
If I ever run Shadowrun, this will be my BBEG.

>> No.43015461

I want this on a shirt, not gonna lie

>> No.43015491

>> No.43015512

I really want to see the rest of this thread

>> No.43017630

>>42996027

Dat tactical genius, who could have foreseen it?

>> No.43017641

>>43013576

I don't get it.

>> No.43017735

>>43015461

used to have that story saved. Dmt just remembering it makes me laugh.

>> No.43017988

>>43017641
Look at the number that is the name of the picture. That is how many dicks he sucked.

>> No.43019369

>>42979302

>> No.43019786

>>43017641
he charged $.05 for him to suck a dick.
he made $400.05 sucking dick.
he sucked 8001 dicks last night.

>> No.43020675

>>42997205
I'm pretty sure there's only one emitter and the beam is split into three. The metal part near the hilt is so your hand isn't cut in half if it slides up.

>> No.43020916

>> No.43021477

>>43020916
Wait, how will the WALRUS KING pay us the TUSK-TOKENS if we've assassinated him?

>> No.43021552

>>43021477
He would still have a TREASURER. Obviously. He probably told us to visit him or her after we SILENCED THE PRETENDER.

>> No.43023284

>>43013302

Dark Heresy is a game focused around Inquisitors and their retinues. Inquisitors are charged with keeping the worst elements of the universe (namely Chaos, aliens, and heretics) at bay, so they often come into contact with things more terrifying than most people even know exist.
Basically the end of the story is saying that after their characters went through the hell you read in that story, they're getting stuck in with something potentially even worse.
You should check out that link the other anon posted, it's got a bunch more stories following their surviving characters. Some really good reads.

>> No.43024449

>>43021477
The TUSK TOKENS are made of WALRUS TUSKS. The value of each token is relative to the amount of power the walrus had - the WALRUS KING's tusks will be of most value, but we need a BONESAW to make the tokens properly...

>> No.43026087

>>43024449
There is a BONESAW in the DOCTOR'S OFFICE, but you need a LABCOAT to be able to sneak in.

>> No.43026227

>>43026087
Sure, my old doctor costume came with a LABCOAT, but I'll need a GUY FAWKE'S MASK to complete my Halloween costume this year.

>> No.43026284

>>43026227
I'll give you my GUY FAWKES MASK, but only if you BLOW UP THE ENGLISH PARLIAMENT.

>> No.43026419

>>43026284
Need some EXPLOSIVES, eh? Well alright, but I'll need to see your DEMOLITIONS PERMIT.

>> No.43026539

>>42974697
Call me crazy. But I'm totally putting this up on Roll 20.
Will be great to play it when someone's late again.

>> No.43026676

>> No.43026685 [DELETED] 

>>43026087
There is a LABCOAT in the dumpster of the DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

But you need WHITE PAINT to get the horrible bloodstains out.

>> No.43026707

>>43026676
That's not the screencap I remember that spawning from...

>> No.43026742

>>43026676
>>43026707
Here we go.

>Maximum stockholm.
That's my attempt at a name. I'm sure some other anon has a better one though.

>> No.43026752

>>43026707
It may not have been were it spawned, I just thought it was funny. I am new to /tg/ so I don't know all the memes yet.

>> No.43026763

>>43026419
I can get you a DEMOLITIONS PERMIT, but I need you to first convince a judge to cancel my son's WRIT OF OUTLAWRY. He made some poor decisions, but I can't let him be hunted down and killed.

>> No.43026811

>>42995997
Wait, hold on, are you Saltbearer?

>> No.43026880

>>42979940
There's a problem with those examples.
He swings it like a sword, and not a lightsaber.
Those big, arcing blows he produces? They fight like that because a sword has weight. You can't fight any other way with a sword, so such a technique has you pretty well defended against other people with the same weakness.

A light saber generally is used more like a cutlass, but even quicker than that. Just think of moments where the fighters were right down face to face, inches from eachother. You'd never do that with a longsword, because it's useless in such close combat due to its weight.
Lightsabers were used that way on a constant.

This is why no amount of these "it's not a problem with a long sword" arguments will make a difference.
A longsword won't protect you if it has no weight to over power someone with a lighter, quicker blade. And you won't use the same technique you used for a heavy blade like that, with a massively different center of mass, to fight, when your entire weapon is is in your palm and has the manouverability of your hand.

Or, if you use the same technique, then you're fucked, because that technique only works because of the weight you can and have to put into it with a sword, and you don't even have the comforting protection of armor.

>> No.43027149

>>43026763
I can revoke a WRIT OF OUTLAWRY, sure, but first I'll need to see some FAT STACKS OF CASH.

>> No.43027317

>>43026752
No problem friend. That post was more of myself musing rather than calling you out. Welcome, and enjoy your stay.

>> No.43027416

>>43027149
Need some FAT STACKS OF CASH? Alright, but you know the Walrus Kingdom has a better economy, right? TUSK TOKENS are no joke. Anyway, I'll give you your money, but only if you bring me the GRAND LILYPAD from the FROG KINGDOM.

>> No.43027532

>>42996232
Consider this stolen.

>> No.43027657

>>42995997
Sorry, that sucks. :(

>> No.43027984

>>43027416
I'll give you the GRAND LILYPAD
But first you have to go fetch me a PILLAR OF SALT

>> No.43028400

Anymore?

>> No.43028694

>>43027984
DON'T LOOK NOW, BUT I'M SMITING THIS DEN OF VICE AND INIQUITY. YOU NEED SOMEONE EXPENDABLE.

>> No.43028775

>>43028694
SOMEONE EXPENDABLE eh? Yeah, I can hook you up with a fall guy, but you're gonna need a GETAWAY CAR.

>> No.43028820

>> No.43028937

>>42985488
Okay okay just bare with me for a moment:

Ant-Man, except instead of ants its golden coins.

>> No.43028973

>> No.43029454

>>42988147
God damn it. I want to know more about Gri'gori and V'toly's journeys on the surface world.

Is there more? Please tell me there's more!

>> No.43029749

>>42985996
Me too. I just can't understand how you wouldn't be able to catch it on your first try.

>> No.43029889

>>42996283
Because no DM would ever handwave something like that because it would be fucking hilarious.

You sound boring.

>> No.43030342

>>43029749
People with moderate-to-severe body coordination problems are disproportionately likely to become nerds.

You didn't think nerds hate sports because sports *actually suck*, did you?

>> No.43030430

>>43029454

Not that I've seen. Which is disappointing. So if I can talk the DM into it my next character will be Gri'gori. Gri'gori only know drow songs, but he sings them so earnestly. He is very grateful for being allowed to sing for you. Some say his voice is most ethereal. Gri'gori thinks this is because he is both elf and castrato.

>That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
>A home and a country, should leave us no more?
>Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
>No refuge could save the hireling and slave
>From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave

>> No.43030689

>>43030430
I'm not sure if I should be wary or enthusastic about the fact that this will probably turn into Borat.

Iz nise.

>> No.43030898

>>43030689
It would be nice if I was funny enough to get a movie. instead I'm going to try to be subtle most of the time and not get too annoying (or racist...)

Actually I'm thinking first I should propose running an air elemental paladin, expecting that to be shoot down as ridiculous. Then I can bring in Gri'gori as "the more reasonable choice".

>> No.43030974

>>43028775
Sure, I can give you my GETAWAY CAR, but I lost the GREEN KEY for it.

>> No.43031098

>>42995540
no it's &c.

>> No.43031165

>>42976544
I liked this one.

>> No.43031244

>>42996232
10/10

>> No.43031322

>>42996703
I don't geddit

>> No.43031329

>>42996027
>earthworm jim's untimely end

>> No.43031633

>>43026880
I like the idea that the cross lightsaber DOES have weight. I mean look at the beam, it's all fucked up and wobbly, regular lightsabers are perfect humming beams while this is a crackling shitty bar of it.
Maybe it's a different type of lightsaber, something bullshitted together out of substandard parts. Maybe instead of whatever silly weightless force shit it's filled with super hot plasma kept in by a field and it actually weighs a bit.

It certainly looks like it has weight, and it would be cool to see different types of lightsaber styles rather than the swishy wiimote combat of every other movie.

>> No.43031683

>>42993789
Cue the Elf/Human cold war where the elven mastery of the locate city spell in conjunction with various meta-magic feats is pitted against Humanity's smaller, less effective, but vastly more numerous nuclear weapons.

>> No.43031704

>>43015491
Many times have I read this and loved it every time.

>> No.43032225

>>43031633
I see where you're coming from, but maybe that is the biggest problem with this design:

It asks the question: "If this can work against a Lightsaber, what else can?"
Which may sound like a stupid question, but then you realize that this civillization that existed for A Thousand Generations, has settled on a single design.

Wouldn't you think that over a Thousand Generations, they'd have had a chance to decisively declare that this is the best weapon? Why else would no one else have anything different outside of dubbiously canon EU stories?

It basically crosses out yet another one of Obi-Wan's establishing notes in New Hope.

The Lightsaber is no longer the uncontested, "noblest" weapon, that has reached the perfection of grace. It's just another light sword.

>> No.43032280

>>42986188
>>42986536
Wrong.
They should have either grown wheat and grinded it to flour for a holy dust explosion, or use holy rape oil mist for a holy flamethrower.

>> No.43032349

>>43030974
so that's way we need the green key

>> No.43032445

>>42999358
we are getting to meta

>> No.43032583

>>42982615
You should've grown holy grass on a cattle farm. Then you could've killed the vampire with a steak.

>> No.43032642

>>43032583
The point is moot since holy water stops being holy when it's diluted, contaminated or otherwise effected. It's why you can't bless running water or a lake. The bible is pretty specific. Only pure water, and if you did something like poured it in dirt, even holy ground, it would stop being holy.

>> No.43032674

>>42989030
Small problem is that Orks only really run when their numbers are heavily thinned and spread out and when melee combat is denied, while the majority of Tyranids are notoriously undisciplined and many outright skittish without overt Synapse prescence. Pretty hardcore story nonetheless.

>> No.43032696

>>42976451
Housecats are OP as fuck.

>> No.43032736

>>43013680
They would have machine guns with a more bow-like shape.

>> No.43032838

>>43032225
>Obi-Wan may have been a dumbass who didn't know shit.

This is news?

Also, I believe that in the original trilogy, lightsabers were meant to be heavy and almost impossible to use one-handed. It's just that spinning them around like twirly-batons looked better on film than realistic two-handed weapon fighting.

>> No.43032919

>>42976683
See? It's not just D&D...

>> No.43032956

>>42987174
Would a normal lightsaber in any way prevent that same tactic?

>> No.43032959

>>42995997
>Khorne Sorceror

>> No.43033052

>>42979940
When will I get to see Lightsaber Half-swording? That's all I really want.

>> No.43033234

>>43014241
Are you honestly upset that this woman isn't just straight up white?

>> No.43033299

>>43004695
You guys are on the same level as the Devil's Rejects

>> No.43033354

>> No.43033401

>>43017988
>>43019786
That's 333.75 dicks an hour

Five and a half dicks per minute

Every 10.8 seconds he has to jump from one dick to the next, for 24 whole hours

Skynet has strange priorities

>> No.43033429

>>43021477
Schrodinger's Walrus King

>> No.43033470

>>43032642
Way to kill the original joke as well as my suggestion

>> No.43033478

>>43033234
>being tumblr

>> No.43033508

>>43030974
So I guess we have no choice but to retrieve the GREEN KEY from our future selves after having finished the quest, with the use of a TIME MACHINE.

I wonder where we can hire such a device?

>> No.43033511

>>43032838
I remember reading that in the original trilogy, lightsabers were supposed to be way underpowered. Like literally "sword vs gun" underpowered. Obi-Wan was romanticizing the lightsaber just like we romanticize swords now.
The idea was that lightsabers were only for highly ritualistic duels. Obi-Wan only uses his when he fights Darth Vader. Vader only uses his when he fights Obi-Wan and Luke. Luke even brings his blaster to Cloud City, and uses it until he gets to Vader. Because if he tried to charge them with the lightsaber, he would have gotten wrecked.
The only exception to this is when he fights at the Sarlaac, but it could be just because he couldn't sneak a blaster in R2-D2. Even during that fight, he only deflects a blaster bolt like once or twice.
But we all latched onto lightsabers and romanticized them until nothing would do except huge-ass fight scenes with magical laser swords.

>> No.43033526

>>42979940

Honestly, I'd be more worried that it'd be fairly easy for anyone whose blade is caught on the cross guard to just slice your saber in half.

>> No.43033589

>>43033508
Ooh, I've been working on making a TIME MACHINE for years now. It's almost finished, but I need one last part - some WEAPONS GRADE ENRICHED URANIUM for the fuel source.

>> No.43033625

>>43014241
Can't a guy just like some chocolate now and again without it being a big internet culture war thing?

>> No.43033640

>>43032642
>It's why you can't bless running water or a lake.
Hey man, there's a reason Vampires can't cross running water.

>> No.43033675

>>42987174

It's probably made from some sort of lightsaber resistant material to prevent that sort of thing from happening.

>> No.43033686

>>43033640
Running water is in itself considered to be a symbol of purification by more pagan belief systems because of the very fact that it is in constant motion and thus any given section of river will always be "fresh". But they are not holy, nor can they be blessed.
Anything you pour in a river will be swept away, leaving the section in front of you still as "pure" as before.

But they still can't be blessed. Lakes because they're contaminated, rivers because they're in motion and contaminated.

>> No.43033802

>>43033625
>>43033234

I think it's less that the woman isn't white, and more that the artist didn't seem to have the balls to make her straight-up black/brown/whatever, instead opting for some weird ass mix, probably in the vain hope to appease the First Tumblr Landwhale Brigade.

>> No.43033945

>>43030430
Wait, isn't that from the American national anthem?

>> No.43034077

>>43033589

The only guys who have WEAPONS GRADE ENRICHED URANIUM are the OUT-OF-PLACE SOVIETS. Frankly, you'll never get it from them, unless you can give them a WAY BACK TO THE HOMELAND.

>> No.43034103

>>43032225
Not really all that committed to the whole laser crossguard thing, but here's my two cents.

From Maul's double lightsaber to the tonfasabers to a couple that seem to have American foil grips we can see that people aren't shy about changing their lightsabers to work better for them.
At their base, lightsabers have no guard, so they obviously don't need one all that much with their intended use, but that's not to say that someone who knew how to use a guard wouldn't be at an advantage.
A good comparison is the medieval longsword versus the katana. Both are hand and a half cut and thrust swords, and ignoring the blades their most obvious difference is their respective guards. Due to different cultural priorities and/or technical constraints and/or lack of innovation the katana has an extremely limited guard, where the longsword has a wide crossguard. They're each still a hand and a half cut and thrust sword, and you can perform either's basic moves with both weapons. But there's a lot that you can do with a crossguard that a minimal disk simply can't do, but if you asked for a hand and a half cut and thrust sword, either would be equally valid to give to you.
Similarly, a lightsaber doesn't need a crossguard, but that doesn't make it a bad idea. A crossguard probably makes some katana moves untenable, just like you're probably going to cut off your leg if you use a double lightsaber without proper training.
As I ramble to a close I've gotta say that I'm not sure where I'm really going with this anymore, or which side of the debate this puts me on, but this has been building up behind my eyes everytime I've seen this debate around the webbernets.

Cheers

>> No.43034134

>>43033052
Love to meet the guy who pioneered that.

Or... pieces of him.

>> No.43034214

>>43014186
induce, when you solve something via logic and observation it is induction

deduction is going by your gut feeling without any evidence

>> No.43034319

>>42997532
Post more papyesh.

>> No.43034448

>>42988147
That cap...
Played a Drow Skald in that style, had a blast.
>reminder that dwarves are kebab and should be remove.

>> No.43034687

>>43034448
Dwarves are not kebab, elves are kebab

>> No.43034823

>>43034687
Both kinda were, he had more of a grudge against dwarves, though, as they had killed a couple of his cousins.
Duergar were chill, though, and he would choose a duergar smith for his weapons over a dwarf any day of the week.

>> No.43034862

>>42974573
A classic.

>> No.43035126

>>43033625
Sure, but that ain't chocolate, that's Muh Diversity(tm) Brown

>>43033802
Gets it, does this guy

>> No.43035157

>>43034214
Define "logical deduction"

>> No.43035185

>>43034077
They say there are be the special tunnels under the Swedens to Motherland, da? Is of needing TUNNEL SCANNER, how say, por favor?

>> No.43035463

>>43035185
Sure, I'll give you my TUNNEL SCANNER.

But I've been using it to try and find the MOLE KING and kill him, bastard's ruining my lawn. If you can ASSASSINATE THE MOLE KING, the scanner is yours!

>> No.43035918

>>43035463
Mole King is below Falador Park, right? I remember going down there with a bunch of friends and wrecking his shit.

>> No.43035923

>>43035463

You, ASSASSINATE THE MOLE KING? Pah! You'll die trying!

Unless, of course, you had my BONA FIDE SNAKE OIL. And BONA FIDE SNAKE OIL is only sold by me, LEGITIMATE LENNY, for a BUCK NINETY- EIGHT!

>> No.43036244

>>43035463
Worry not, dear travellers. His Royal Moleness has wished to die for quite some time now.

But he is not willing to pass on until you reconcile him with his estranged son the MOLE PRINCE, who absconded five years ago with the WALRUS PRINCESS.

>> No.43036270

>>43036244
>>43035463
(also, I clicked send on that at about 18:36 before I went downstairs to eat, but that stupid "Connection Error" glitch occured so it was just sitting in the box with the captcha expired when I returned. which is annoying)

>> No.43036880

>>43035923
Where can you find the rare and majestic BUCK NINETY-EIGHT you ask? Well that's easy he roams the kinds woods, but you'll never sneak up on him without some DOE NINETY-EIGHT URINE to mask your scent.

>> No.43036904

This one is from a few months ago

>> No.43037612

>>43036880

DOE NINETY-EIGHT URINE, huh? Yeah I can get you some of that, but I'll need a HANDSOME BUCK costume first.

>> No.43037901

>>43032642
Could have used hydroponics then.

>> No.43038416

>>43037901
It doesn't stay holy when transformed in any way, that means no evaporation or freezing, no mixing with anything and definitely not being absorbed by a plant.
I'm paraphrasing slightly but this is actually spelled out in scripture, to a weird level of detail honestly. Apparently God really didn't want rules lawyers fucking with his holy water or something.

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