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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.42473037 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

The elf girl in the party approaches your character after a long day's adventures.

>There's something I have to tell you, I...

What does she say next?

>> No.42473052

>>42473037
>... really didn't mean to shoot you for the fourteenth fucking time.
You would think an elf ranger who specializes in archery wouldn't be this good at blue on blue.

>> No.42473058

>...don't exist

>> No.42473062

>>42473037
>"... have a penis."

>> No.42473070

I don't like threads like this.
Just letting you know.

>> No.42473074

>>42473070
ok

>> No.42473091

>...think the fighter is really hot, do you think he likes me?

>> No.42473125

>I just saved 15% or more on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

>> No.42473128

>>42473037
That was a good run, wasn't it boss? Well I'm still pretty wired, got any plans? Hey.

>> No.42473143

>>42473037
>"... want to show you my magical realm."

>> No.42473189

>>42473037
...want to be ghost rider

>> No.42473191

>>42473037
> "...deserve the spoils for two from the loot, seeing I did all the dangerous work."

>> No.42473205

>>42473037
>"I'm sick of eating monsters all the time!"

>> No.42473208

>...need to borrow your conditioner

>> No.42473231

>>42473037
...am a doppleganger, roll for initiative.

Fucking DM and everything and everyone being a doppleganger!

>> No.42473252

>...."Can't believe it's not butter."

>> No.42473265

>>42473037
>I've fallen in love with another... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA

>> No.42473271

"I am very proud of you, you really did marvelous job of copying for the last 30 years a fated child I kidnapped from human family and made into abominable Birch-Bone-That-Bleeds-Scarlet-Resin. If you wish, I can bring you back to the Forest after this adventure and merge with your bone-branches of your original. You'll finally be one."

>> No.42473273

>>42473128
I remember that thread. Such feel.

>> No.42473279

>>42473205
my nigga

>> No.42473296

>...can't believe you took that kill! He was mine! Gimme that gold!

>> No.42473342

>>42473037

That bitch forgot to put on clothes after she put on her underwear.

>> No.42473365

"I-I'm jealous of your superior human physiques, metallurgy, philosophers, warriors and superior culture."

>> No.42473376

>>42473052
She's just trying to get your attention, Anon.

>> No.42473425

>>42473271

Those feels.

>> No.42473443

>>42473365
Things no elf has said ever.

>> No.42473551

>>42473062

Three posts in, surprising amount of restraint.

>> No.42473558

>>42473037
>I SHOT THE SHERIFF
>BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTY

>> No.42473586

>>42473205
>tfw

>> No.42473587

>>42473037
She isi nterrupted before she can finish the sentence, forgetting why the saying "elves are to be seen, not to be heard" exists: any elf mouth that remains open for more than five seconds has an extremely magnetic effect on orc cocks.... which is pretty fucking surprising considering the nearest orcs are on the other side of the empire.

>> No.42473638

>>42473037
>...can't work out how all of these stones keep getting into my skin-tight boots.

>> No.42473642

The elf has a small amount of lewd on pixiv.

>> No.42473662

>>42473279
>>42473586
Living armour chapters fucking killed me.

>> No.42473675

>>42473642
>manga is 5 chapters in
>ShindoL already made a doujin of it
That man is a mad god!

>> No.42473680

>>42473675
Only a single image.

>> No.42473690

>>42473265

I came here to post this. Thank you.

>> No.42473696

>>42473091
but I'm in love with the fighter too!

>> No.42473702

>>42473675
>>42473680
There is a Doujin by someone up on E-hentai though.

>> No.42473712

>>42473037
>tfw your DM is so shit they ask the players what the NPCs are going to say

>> No.42473743

>>42473037
>There's something I have to tell you, I...

>> No.42473859

>>42473586
>>42473642
To be honest the elf in this manga is not even an elf and it's the worst part of the manga. Along with the total lack of character of the thief.

>> No.42473872

>...snapped my last bowstring today. I need you to cut off your long, strong hair so I can use it to restring my bow.
Gunnar a shit.

>> No.42473919

>>42473070
Wait, I'm confused, is that what the elf says?

>> No.42473944

>>42473743
>picture tells the joke
>better needlessly add caption text
>then explain it further in my post

>> No.42473961

>>42473859
>To be honest the elf in this manga is not even an elf
What?
>Along with the total lack of character of the thief.
...what?

>> No.42474184 [DELETED] 

>>42473037
...took a watery dump all over my armour, tee hee~ then I squeezed and squeezed and squeezed until I felt a pop and tingling sensation. I looked down and found I had several inches of distended anus hanging down on top of my helmet, so I poked it through the eye-slots and rinsed it in my juices as much as I could~. I clawed inside my anus and pushed my arm as far into my glistening, pulsing tube until I found a handful of soft goodies and wrenched them out of my scabbed and bleeding orifice. I smeared it all over my breast (giggle~) plate and loin (titter~) cloth, but I felt a slight pulling sensation. Raising a fist up to my eyes I saw I had several wriggling tapeworms hanging tightly from my fist to my posterior portal. I smiled and crushed them up against my armour, and then rubbed my shitty and bleeding and tapeworm-infested tushie-tunnel all up and down my crying screaming face while hopping with one puss-filled foot in my mouth.

So anyway, how did *you* try to understand what it's like to play a non-caster?

>> No.42474266

>>42473037
>I'm Jake from State Farm.

>> No.42474341

>>42473961
My reaction image folder thanks you guys for letting me know that this manga exists.

>> No.42474349

>>42473252

>> No.42474362

>>42473859
>elf is not an elf

What? What is she, then?

>Along with the total lack of character of the thief.

Dude literally just got a focus chapter. He has plenty of character.

>> No.42474366

>>42473037
Jeez, what's my sister going to nag me about this time?!

>> No.42474439

>>42474184
Whyyyyyy??? WTF is wrong with you? Even /d/ doesn't bloody do that to people!

>> No.42474482

>>42473037
>...have another, in my...

And then she jumps off the dragon we're riding and blows up.

>> No.42474570

>>42473037

> ...I am actually a male dwarf in disguise. My disguise rank is off the roof.

>> No.42474578

>>42473037

I'm a cylon!

>> No.42474714

>>42474482
Kek

>> No.42474786

>>42473037
At ease loser! HYPER BOMB!

KO!!

>> No.42474800

>>42473037
>Fucked your dad, And your grandfather, and great grandfather. It's kinda just been a long long of your ancestors having me as their side bitch. Hope this doesnt make it awkward between us.

>> No.42474858 [SPOILER] 

>>42473037
>... DO COCAAAAAAAINE

>> No.42474861

>>42473365
That elf is either a liar or clinically retarded.

>> No.42474872

>>42473872
Underrated post Mord.

>> No.42474877

>>42473091
>Getting cucked by an elf

There is no greater pain

>> No.42474936

>>42473037
>want to have consensual intercourse with you, as I only have sex with other elves.

Fuck fantasy race-mixers. In most cases, they just want to have something "speshul" about their character, or are simply indecisive.

>> No.42474980

>>42473037
>"There's something I have to tell you, I'm your rival from the town you grew up in."

"But... but I proposed to you... and you said yes!"

>"I'll admit, things deviated from my plans."

"Then you let me and Mac the Toothy Ork bang you -at the same time!-"

>"Yeah. Mac actually knew about this, funny enough."

>> No.42475061

>>42473037
>...broke the Barbarian's collection of little glass animals, and now he thinks you did it.

>> No.42475079

>>42474861
>Telling the truth
>Clinically retarded
I wish the knife-ear lovers would go and stay go

>> No.42475282

>"... want you to stop hitting on me. Your childish advances bore me, you have no idea about elfish courtship, I don't care about your 'superior human dick' and my people will exterminate your kind when we have the chance."

>> No.42475291

>>42475079
I wish HFYers would go and stay go.

>> No.42475310

>>42474570

Actually two dwarves in disguise. One riding on top of the other with two bags of jelly on his chest

>> No.42475335

>>42475282
Elfish archer, I... am currently holding the lever that will release fifteen thousand metric tons of extremely hot magma directly on your face in a few seconds. FOR ARMOK.

>> No.42475348

>>42473037
"Need to borrow a sweater"

>> No.42475417

>>42473037

Why do elves always dress like sluts?

>> No.42475418

>>42473037
I don;t know what an elf would have to say to a 7 foot tall Tiefling Barbarian

>> No.42475459

>>42475418
>Tieflings - because Drow got too normal

>> No.42475500

>>42475417
Because they are a fictional race and some portray them like this to make your dick hard.

>> No.42475506

>>42475417
I mean, they are adventuring with humans, dwarves, and who knows what else. It's like they're in their early twenties for a hundred years, so they're just running wild, occasionally dropping off a half-elf at the house or orphanage or wherever elves get rid of half-elves.

>> No.42475535

>>42475417
Elves aren't real. Outside of Iceland, at least.

Your actual question is "why do fantasy illustrators always draw elves as eye-candy" for which there are any number of debates you could easily look up yourself.

>> No.42475778

>>42473037
>ran out of tampons, do you have a spare?

>> No.42475791

>>42475778
Why, yes, I happen to have something roughly vagina-shaped in my trousers. It's...

>> No.42475818

>>42475791
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS!

>> No.42475834

>>42475791

>> No.42475864

>>42475834
>>42475818

>> No.42476003

>>42473273
Link?

>> No.42476040

>>42474578
FRAKKING TOASTERS!!! RABBLERABBLERABBLE

>> No.42476424

>>42473037
... cannot understand why you butcher all the cats the party tries to adopt. It's barbaric!

>> No.42476507

Give that poor girl some clothes.

>> No.42476531

>>42476424
I, too, wonder why you chop down every single tree in our path whether we can go past it or not.
Neither do I understand your need to obsessively pick up every single piece of loot, no matter how useless it is, and throw it into a designated lake.

>> No.42476550

>> No.42476928

>>42476531
>designated looting lake

>> No.42476990

>>42475291
You can hide posts and threads if they bother you that much, anon.

>> No.42477092

>>42476990
So can flowerfuckers. What's your point?

>> No.42477418

>>42477092
...

Flowerfuckers?

>> No.42477551

>>42473642
someone post a link to the full manga/doujin plz?

>> No.42477644

>>42474800
"Not at all, I'm a big believer in upholding family traditions. Prepare your anus."

>> No.42478509

>>42473037
>"I like big butts, and I cannot lie."

>> No.42478529

>>42473037
WANNA BE THE VERY BEST! LIKE NO-ONE EVER WAS!

>> No.42478560

>>42473125
Kek

>> No.42478603

>>42473070
Sorry to hear that, thank you for not throwing a tantrum.

>> No.42479088

>>42473037
...need gold to buy more arrows you miserly human cunt

>> No.42479117

>>42473037
>...really can't stand this stench. Please, for benefit mine and yours as well, pretty please do me a favour and apply this lotion at least every other day.

>> No.42479726

>>42473037
> am pregnant with your child

>> No.42479799

>>42473091
Pretty sure he prefers the company of MALE elves, if you know what I mean, lass.

>> No.42479876

>>42473191
We've been over this, Iluvendrel, the spoils are split evenly. You weren't too helpful when the sorcerer was riddling with that drake, were you? But you still got paid.

>> No.42479880

>>42473037
>...noticed you're a ghost. You've been dead for two years.

>> No.42479915

>>42479799
No I don't, there are male elves?

>> No.42479986

>aaaauuuurrrgghhh

>> No.42480064

>>42479915
Yeah, it's just hard to tell the diffrence.

>> No.42480212

>>42473037
>>42473037

>elf: ".. I'm pregnant. And I think you're the father."
>Me: "W-what? When did we ever?!"
>Elf: "Remember that time when you and bard switched bodies...."
>Me: "Well plough me sideways."
>Elf: "Indeed. When my father finds out, he is going to kill you."
>Me; "I know he has a history with humans but.."
>Elf "No, you don't get it. He's REALLY going to kill you. Slowly if possible."

>> No.42480287

>>42473265
DOO DO DO DOOOOOOOO
DOO DO DO DOOOOOOOO

>> No.42480337

>>42477551
Dungeon Meshi

I think.

>> No.42480419

>>42480337
I think he means the porn.

>> No.42480470

>>42473037
NARF

>> No.42480509

>>42473037
Should really stop posting these kinds of threads.

Seriously, just go masturbate on another board.

>> No.42480537

>>42473642
>"Roasted Nested Elf"
Fuck does this not sound good at all. I like this comic too.

>> No.42481089

>>42480509
I will fap where I want when I want.

>> No.42481129

>>42480509
But /tg/ is best for sexy

>> No.42481190

>>42480509
Why is the elf making threads in the middle of a battle? And if she's so pent up that she needs to shlick immediately after, perhaps we should talk about how she's spending her off hours.

>> No.42481238

>>42480537
It's Shindol too, so she probably WILL end up killed and eaten, that sick freak.

>> No.42483515

>>42473279
>>42473586
What's the name of this again?

>> No.42483553

>>42481238
What? I don't think he's ever actually gotten that far. It's heavily implied in one of his works, but never actually shown in graphic detail.

>> No.42483555

>>42483515
Dungeon Meshi

>> No.42484164

>>42483555
>Dungeon Meshi
I should not be reading this while hungry

>> No.42484510

>>42473037

>...I'm a polymorphed guy actually.

>> No.42485517

>>42484510
"Eh, whatever. You look pretty amazing now, so how 'bout we work off our post-battle adrenaline together?"

>> No.42486224

>There's something I have to tell you, I...

... think OP is a fag.

>> No.42487796

>>42474482

>> No.42487868

>>42473037
>Lets do some babys hero ;3

>> No.42488032

>>42473037
>...killed your family and stole your soul.

>> No.42488113

>>42488032
>It was delicious, do you have another one?

>> No.42488136 [SPOILER] 

>>42473037
>sold out the party to that necromancer vizier in exchange for a big government position. Sorry about that
>mfw

>> No.42488172

>>42488113
And this is why you don't hire Dark Eldar.

>> No.42488241

>>42473037
>I'm a figment of your imagination. None of this is real and you've been trapped in an illusion spell for five years now, kept alive by a bunch of magic items. We failed, the bad guys won, and chances are you're the only survivor. I'm sorry.

>> No.42488540

>>42473037
...I...
>the elf leans in close to your ear and whispers into your ear OMELETTE DU FROMAGE

>> No.42488809

>>42488241
Well. . . shit. Can we at least fuck, then?

>> No.42488969

>>42473037
>I... need you to explore the dungeon betwen my legs

>> No.42489118

>>42488969
>You'll need this shrinking potion
>Be careful of the dragon in my left fallopian tube, he's cranky when his lair gets invaded

>> No.42489129

>>42488809
>"What part of "none of this is real" do you not get?"

>> No.42489418

>>42489129
"Okay, okay. . . I get it. So, I should buy you dinner first, right?"

>> No.42490128

>>42476003
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/42232184/

>> No.42493002

>>42489129
Why would that stop him?

>> No.42493173

>>42473037

"If the next words out of your mouth are "I have made a vow to my god," the answer is no, Gamora."

>"But-!"

"No! I admit, travelling with a priestess of Thor has been great! I love what you do with lightning smiting! But I'm pretty sure you're making this up as you go..."

>"Now that's not quite fair-!"

"I didn't say anything when you gave up sex, lots of religions do that. I didn't say anything when you gave up wearing armor, the barbarian does that and he's one horned helmet from being a stereotypical viking. But then you send us on a quest for the rainbow bridge to Asgard..."

>"That would have worked if that imp hadn't gotten in the way!"

"That was a leprechaun, and he was just guarding his pot of gold! Then there was the time you tried to summon a Valkyrie!"

>"That worked!"

"That was a royal mounted guardswoman, and you almost got us arrested trying to climb up on her horse! It turned out the guard was already patrolling the roads in search of those bandits you said it was our destiney to fight!"

>"It was our destiney! I prayed to Thor for guidance..."

"Well, in every other religion 'praying for guidance' doesn't involve sitting in a mead hall drinking until you mistake the rumors spread by other patrons for the voice of your god."

>"I explained that already! The mead hall is an earthly analog of the feasting halls of Valhalla!"

"And our earthly battles analogous to the eternal conflict! I get it, Thor likes watching us fight and rewards our courage... What I don't get is why you've got to go so far currying his favor specifically... Being brave adventurers should be enough for the whole Norse pantheon... You just have a crush on Thor, don't you?"

>"N-no! That's preposterous!"

"A priestess should love her god, but not like that!"

>"It isn't like that!"

"Either way, we're not going on another crazy to get sempai to notice you"

>> No.42493433

>>42493173
>You just have a crush on Thor, don't you?"
>>"N-no! That's preposterous!"
>"A priestess should love her god, but not like that!"
>>"It isn't like that!"
>"Either way, we're not going on another crazy to get sempai to notice you"
I have the perfect idea for my next character

>> No.42494382

>>42473037
I'm not an elf. I'm a fle.
>What's a fle?
A reverse elf.

>> No.42494410

>>42473208
>>42473638
>>42474800

Underrated posts

>> No.42494446

>>42473128

I wrote that!

Who wants some elfy feels

>> No.42494476

>>42473702
It's not translated though.

see for yourselfhttp://g.e-hentai.org/g/846311/345320b82a/

>>
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