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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.41561240 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Any jokes your players think are funny for the zillionth time? With or without reference.

>Ich bin ein weinerfucker
>That's what she said
>Jerk him off that'll calm him down!
>do she got the booty?
>Very evil much bad
>Brokos go fuck em!
>but do she got the booty though?
>I have SO MANY knives though!
>"Im the map song" any time our cartographer makes a new section
>Anon are you okay? Do you need to become bug?
>no seriously do she got the booty though?

>> No.41561309

>>41561240
I always run my finger under my nose and go mmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmelta.

>> No.41561364

>Autism

>> No.41561379

>>41561240
But does she got the booty?

>> No.41561389

Do you often wish to kill youself after playing with them?

>> No.41561436

Baneposting.

>> No.41561443

>Yes, but remember the lizards?
>Decapitates, burning, bisected, diseased, dire badger.
>Remember the last time you tried to build character? Giant wasps happened
> just tie the rogue to a tree again.

>> No.41561505

In one of the old AD&D modules, the players are attacking a colony of goblins and orcs. One of the room descriptions, and I am not making this up, goes like so.

>You open the door to this small room and are immediately assulted by the pungent odor od cedar smoke and roasting meat. There is light from the fireplace in the south; a barred wooden door to the east is iron bound There is also a cracked open to the west. Sitting around the table are three orcs, smoking a lizard.

Naturally everyone's minds turned 420 degrees and they couldn't stop laughing - including the police officer.

They were smoking the lizard to preserve it as jerky, guys.

>> No.41561517

>GMing 5e
>players fighting zombies
> one zombie somehow succeeds his undead fortitude roll OVER and OVER
>probably about 7 times this one zombie almost dies
>every time he succeeds I sang "I get knocked down, but I get up again, something something something keep me down."
>can't remember the lyrics

And now someone will burst out into song just about every session...good times

>> No.41561696

>>41561240
Just one, and it's name is JOHN CENA!! BA BADA DUNNN!

To be fair they've run with their love of the joke quite well so I'm not sick of it yet as GM.

>> No.41561819

>hey guy, did you know teenagers are dumb?

I sure did, OP.

>> No.41562121

An NPC guide for our group was killed by a bunch of bandits that ambushed us. Since we were in a rush, we decided to bury his body in a potato field.
> You buried his body... in a potato field?!
> Shut the fuck up! It was a great idea!

>> No.41562308

>>41561240
>where's Kerbal?
>OH SHIT I'M A WOMAN
>I'm going to watch the young girl
>I bet it's that fucking gnome again
>lizard wizard
>want some dice?
>is this the frog that ate my arm?

>> No.41562498

>The goblin fires an arrow. 19! He hits you
>Where did the arrow hit him DM?
> *sigh* in the knee....
>YAY!!


>I roll to seduce the door

>> No.41562578

>>41562308
We have a lizard wizard joke in our group too. He's from a sect known as the Lizards of the Coast, and studied magic at Frogwart's School of Witchcraft and Lizardry.

>> No.41562702

>>41562578
That is next level punning

>> No.41563097

>>41561240
>I steal their shoes so they can't follow us
>I stab their horse and put sugar into it so they can't follow us
>I open the door, drop to the floor, wild shape to dinosaur
>There's more then one way to skin a Dire Bat, specifically there's four
>I'm up to my tits in morons

>> No.41563177

Our Druid fucked a lion once.

>> No.41563227

>>41561240
DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTIDJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI DJIBOUTI

>> No.41563234

>>41561240
>Say something uses wood as a building element
>Lead player in the party immediately prepares to burn.
Every single time, they say it's so that I'll stop making shit out of wood, but still, a medieval fort is bound to have a good amount of wooden construction, have some fun with it.

>> No.41563390

>Darth Oops strikes again
>You see..bears, bears everywhere.
>Congratulations, [character name]. *while applauding
>Purge tomorrow.
>Muh beautiful boy

>> No.41563567

>that one player who tries to turn everything into a dirty joke

>> No.41564200

>>41562498
>I roll to seduce the door
What the fuck happened for one of your players to try to seduce a door.

Fuck the 'roll to seduce dragon' joke at least makes an ounce of sense.

>> No.41564307

>>41561436
Hothead pls

>> No.41564444

>>41561240
>I stab her with my [lewd tone] rod of wonder.
>Wait, so are you playing the sex god? Me: I'm a sorcerer, dammit!
>Calling my PC "lichfucker" because I once grappled a female lich onto a bed of torture dreams.

>> No.41564446

Well with my current group, the one rogue kept using gather information all the time and failed miserably in a backwater village. So it was there he learned from the peasants of a great wizard who was good at levitating rocks, located somewhere in the general north or south vicinity. Needless to say they found this rumor hilarious.
So every time they'd go to a new place, one of the rumors circulating about ended up being about the wizard who was good at levitating rocks located in vague cardinal directions. Eventually they learned his name from other wizards at a dysfunctional academy, he is the mighty Sedimentis, a powerful wizard who moves rocks around with his mind. They're going to go on a quest to eventually meet him after dealing with everything else.

>> No.41564481

So we had to bring a town and a bandit camp together and stop the fighting. Being a stereotypically irish cleric (complete with an accent), I attemped to convert the bandit camp to the glorious light of Pelor.

DM said that it would he difficult roll, a DC 30, and would lower it based on how I roleplayed.
So I wrote down an entire Fire-and-Brimstone sermon and preached to the bandits.

The group could barely breath after laughing to five minutes of an exaggerate irish accent preach TH' LIGHT O' PELOR! PRAISE BE UNTAH HIM!

>> No.41564486

In one game I was in we had a halfling lich in our party whos player kept saying "look at that horse" any time there was a horse. The way he said it was funny the first ten times, but in one particular session he kept saying it so much that the DM cursed the fuck out of him. He ended up being a boneless slop of decaying flesh kept in a chamber pot, who also somehow had a vagina for a face and would do anything his companions asked him to do.
I may or may not have fucked the lich in the face.

>> No.41564529

>>41563097
>>I stab their horse and put sugar into it so they can't follow us
>>I open the door, drop to the floor, wild shape to dinosaur

>> No.41564543

>>41563177
Just one lion?

>> No.41564570

Only ongoing jokes I can remember right now:

*rolls a 1* I got a rock

*rolls to identify a creature, dm asks what they want to know* does it taste good?

Nah, man. I am *positive* that it's a mask of fireballs

>> No.41564585

>>41564200
Why have your players not seduced a door?

>> No.41564617

>>41564200
Nothing, it was just an unusual use of the standard 'I roll to seduce' joke someone did that the group never forgot

Its funny to them because it doesnt make any sense.

>> No.41564650

>>41564200
Never seduced a door, but I did have a character who chatted up doors. They were an otherwise serious character that took the phrase "you approach the door"and ran with it.

>> No.41564706

My group has a druid who decided to place very few points into Knowledge Nature, Survival, and Religion. When they came across a pile of animal bones in a hostile place the druid attempted to identify them with knowledge.
Rolled a 4, got nothing of value other than that it appears to have sharp teeth.
He tried to use a survival check to determine if he knows a creature of this size with sharp teeth in the area.
He rolled a 6, he knows that cows are generally this size.
He attempted to use a knowledge religion to discern if there was a sacred meaning to a cow-sized creature with sharp teeth.
Rolled a nat 1. He was convinced this cave was home to a group of vampiric cows and it has stuck ever since.

Whenever they pass a farm or come across bones (any bones, even humanoid) they all attempt to spot/search the immediate area for a Vampire Cow.

>> No.41564739

>Salt rocks
>2d6 flat. Hidden modifiers
>we stand as one
>Off by one
>Nice boat
>Lawful combatants

>> No.41564804

>>41564585
Anon can you be my hero and tell me what this game is called? I can't find anything about it other than people calling it random bullshit.

>> No.41565060

>>41564617
>>41564650
Oh, 'kay then. Cool.

>>41564585
Because one is too busy trying to set up a slave trade and become the world's banker.
Another is afraid of any built up area because he's paranoid that means that urban areas obviously equate to someone spying on him. He's a prince, and doesn't want to be involved in the madness of his parents' nation.
Our barbarian is too busy knocking down doors because they block his sight.
Our rogue is too busy not speaking because he's verging on edgelord.
And our psion doesn't like talking because he's an elitist. Puny non-telepaths.

>> No.41565147

>>41565060
You sound like you might actually have autism

>> No.41565179

>>41564804
Dungeons and Prisoners.

It's in beta and the sex scenes are fairly subpar, but the developer also rolls out english translation patches for the game because he's just that awesome.

>> No.41565187

>Myconoids always speak like pic related and the fucking reddit tier player wont drop it.

>Our female paladin party member always screams "for PELOR!" in a purposly retarded voice and the others laugh endlessly at it because shes a cute girl.

>Same girl in a different campaign says "meloooooooora" in a long drawn out tone because the players thinks mortals just have gods on speed dial.

>Betty's laugh from kung pow. every.fucking.20.min

>The owl joke betty says in kung pow

>Every other fucking quote from that movie.

Guys, its been 3 years. enough. I love the movie too but this shit is over shadowing monty python.

>magical space cocain
My character did it once and they wont drop it.

>> No.41565190

>>41564585
wtf is that from?

>> No.41565202

>>41561240
"I loot the room."

>> No.41565286

>>41562308
>I bet it's that fucking gnome again

every GODDAMN TIME

>> No.41565605

I'm sure it's pretty bogstandard and has happened in every campaign ever since Paladins first showed up in Supplement I, but the guy playing a Paladin in my campaign has equated using 'lay on hands' on himself to 'touching himself up'.

>> No.41565888

>>41561240
In one campaign, my players were going up against the Masonic Order: Fantasy Edition.

In this, they weren't figuratively masons, but literally. Literally a cult of master masons who used their knowledge to build huge occult structures. They would build auditoriums as resonance chambers that exerted subtle mind control over the listeners, conditioning them to obey anything they heard with a certain supersonic tone accompanying it that only they could produce.

They also built a lot of dungeons, and obviously all of their shit was ridiculously overbuilt and well designed, because even their mook guards had ame. Almost as thoug ton of ranks in masonry. Every time the players would try to circumvent a trap or break through a wall or anything and failed, I would repeat the same punchline:

"You cannot penetrate the walls of the corridor. It seems extremely well designed. Almost as though constructed by... Master masons."

"You cannot climb the slope, there are no fingerholds, the rocks are utterly flush with each other and polished to a mirror sheen. Almost as though constructed by... Master masons."

"You cannot open the door. There is no visible keyhole and no gaps in which to insert a crowbar, and the door itself seems perfectly aligned with the floor and the frame. Almost as though..."

>> No.41565981

We have a bi guy in our group.
>Oh bet you'd like to suck that off
>Yeah you can seduce that guy
>Oh, dude, pay him with your body
It's like all the absurdities of the MRA combined with the lack of filters of a bro gathering.
I honestly do not see why he still puts up with this shit.

>> No.41566476

>>41561240
"run to the hills"
"the hills are on FIRE"

>> No.41566643

My group didn't last too long to really have a good number of jokes, but the major one I remember is the running gag of our party rogue and mimics, more specifically, the fact that there was a good chance at least one chest the rogue breaks open is a mimic that the rogue will get stuck to.

>> No.41566649

I'm fucking done with comedy and jokes and hijinks, myself.

Every game, there's tons of memes, fresh, old, stale, boring, funny. Everything, ANY player does? MEME.

Some guy doing a dark evil deed in secret? OH EDGE LORD FEDORA HATTER UNSHEATHES HIS KATANA.

One guy worships his God? FUCKING NANCY BOY GETTING HIS TENDIES.

One guy has something slightly different than everyone else? SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE GO FUCKING EAT A FAIRY DICK.

Everything, EVERYTHING becomes a joke. I make a mistake on the map? LOOK, HAHAHAUHEUHEUHEUHE.

I'm clearly trying to run a realistic, serious, dramatic, roleplaying experience with nobility, politics and chess masters playing long term games?

They break down the fucking door insult the Lord, call him a faggot to his face.In his home. Surrounded by his guards.They're peasants.

HHUEHUEHUEHUEHUHEUHE

FUCK ALL OF IT.

>> No.41567260

>>41566649
>I hate fun
Why live?

>> No.41567662

Goodberries are given to unconscious players as suppositories

>> No.41567774

Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d6)

>>41564739
>implying these aren't LITERALLY the dankest memes of all time

>> No.41567916

>>41567260
Too much humor isn't a good thing, anon. It's like jerking off till your dick starts bleeding.
Sometimes you got to know when to stop.

>> No.41567957

>>41567916
>It's like jerking off till your dick starts bleeding.

but that is when it is just starting to get good...

>> No.41568304

We can't get on a plane without someone referencing the Dark Knight Rises

>> No.41568735

>>41568304
In my campaigns, Bane is always there.

If I have assassins, large sized people, a 'league', a mask, ANYTHING-

Some fucker starts quoting the goddamn fucking actor in his voice.

ANY. TIME.

It could be a large barbarian.
"You're a big guy!"

A Lordling or Prince goes "My word, you're a big guy/one!"

"FOR YOU".

Any dude I have with masks?
"WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK?!"

I have rogues and assassins?
"YOU HAVE MERELY ADOPTED THE SHAD-


HUEHUHEUHEUHEUHUEHE
I hate everything.

>> No.41569036

>>41565981
Wait, are the group saying that to him, or is he saying that himself? If the former fuck them, if the latter fuck him.

>> No.41569210

Currently my friend is running a Iron Kingdoms campaign, pretty fucking fun/10. One of the players playing it super autistic murderhobo style, but goddamn, some of the shit he says is so retarded it's hilarious.
>I want to glue bullets onto the frying pan
>It's my back hand; cause I was fisting a man
>I'll actually proper slap you with the pencil
Also he at one point was confronted with a guard armed with a halberd
>didn't know what a halberd was
>thought it was a type of bird
He's a retard, but he's my retard.

>> No.41569244

>>41568735
Your group sounds fun

>> No.41570359

>>41569036
Group saying that to him.

>> No.41570440

>play CoC
>players sing "it's beginning to look a lot like fish men" everytime spooky/eldritch things begin to happen, ruining any mood I had managed to create
>they think it's funny every time

I don't know why I bother. The fact that they bring up "old man henderson" all the fucking time doesn't help either. God I hate that story.

>> No.41570513

>Druid shapeshifted for the fight but now the fight is over and the party is intimidating one of them
>"I don't now anything honestly"
>I roll to intimidate
>*rolls a 5*
>fuck, i roll to seduce instead
>*nat 20*
>player begins to talk in a scooby doo style voice because he's a wolf
>shenanigans ensue

>> No.41571222

>>41569210
>doesnt know what a halberd is
the fuck
how is that possible?
Didnt he play runescape back 2004?
That's when I learned everything

>> No.41571227

Fire giants riding black dragons.

>> No.41571498

One of my players said that Hitler, Illidan and Tom Brady did something wrong

>> No.41571562

>"Gazebo" is another name for pavilion

I hate this meme. All I want is a cool name for my OC monster, but no, everyone has to giggle and ask how it moves or whether there is a band playing inside it

>> No.41571794

>>41571562
Were there people getting married inside it?

>> No.41571904

>>Are we in the cave?
>>RUUUUUUUUSTYYYYY!!!!
>>Now in monkey flavour!
>>Right in the gooch.
That one is actually still funny, though.

>> No.41572405

>Playing Druid
>Controlling Weather and upping the wind to insane levels
>Tearing apart a town as we fight a demon army
>Ranger asks me to turn down the wind so he can use his bow to shoot at archers
>I can't hear him and scream back, "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?"
>Bard begins to play song

>> No.41572594

>>41561240
As introduction (first line spoken) in every session of every games in every setting.
>WELCOME TO XARSAROTHH!!!

>> No.41574198

>4/6 party members worship a sun god
>"PRAISE THE SUN"

Please kill me.

>> No.41574310

>>41561240
>"I'm a war hero you know!"
>Jazz Hands
>The Wizard IS the portkey
>48millionD6
Referring to our pet nazi as anything but his name, Franz. Fritz, Frank, Gobbel, whatever, just not his actual name.
>Kony 2012 up in this bitch!
Yes, we do have a child army.
"I'd have a hulk, but mine's in the shop."
>While holding your hands like goggles around your eyes, look back and forth rapidly "CAN'T SEE SHIT, CAP'N."
>"I... Open the door."
"Do you want me to turn you into a tree again?"
>Fuck it, kill her, we'll just bring her back. She's easier to move around dead too.
>Shining Finger.
>"Yes, I know Archlord is a coveted title. That's why I'm willing to offer you a substantial sum for the position. But I want the south. And the Volcanos."


And finally;
>Dynamic Entry INTO the Dragon.

The last was in a 35 ton mech, and I killed the Archlords pet...

>> No.41575162

>itt we tell each other inside jokes that no one will get

>> No.41575306

>>41562498
>I roll to seduce the door

I thought I was the only one to ever do this... We encountered a race of doorforged. Like warforged but forged from doors.

Pic related, it's a trapdoorforged.

>> No.41575416

>>41571562

It's your fault for naming it GAZEBO.

>> No.41575629

>>41568735
>not having a quest all about stopping the dark wizard Seeaieh and his minions Ducta, Paveleer, Smee, Maimen, Buto, N. Lee, and Juan Oyvu from turning every living thing into small guys

>not having an epic quest where the PCs must stop Bane (the FR god) from crashing the material plane with no survivors.

Somebody get this hothead outta here.

>> No.41575736

Jojo references

Jojo references everywhere.

>> No.41576076

Giving the finger requires a free action.

The party rogue and the wiz can't open a magic chest. They've tried everything, all the passwords in every language they know. "It doesn't speak elvish!" Barbarian walks up: "let's see if it speaks clubbish!" Resorting to violence is hereafter evermore known as "speaking clubbish."

>> No.41576187

>>41575629
>stop Bane (the FR god) from crashing the material plane with no survivors.
10/10, would rise

>> No.41577037

>>41575306
>trapdoorforged
It has a penis, doesn't it?

>> No.41577429

>>41561240
> weinerfucker
A what?

>> No.41578130

>>41577037
Who knows? Search check? maybe the rogue in the party could roll a disable trap.

>> No.41578228

>>41561240
>he's hit in his left leg.

>> No.41578430

>>41562578
You.... I like you...

>> No.41578471

>>41563097
>open the door, drop to the floor, wild shape to dinosaur

>> No.41578752

>>41561240
____er? I hardly know her!

>> No.41578825

>And that's how I lost my virginity!
>I've got a bad case of assentitis! Stand back, it's contagious!
>Well, I spent a year abroad. As a broad.
>No one wants to know about how you masturbate
>Vlad the Implier
>Kenan and Kel quotes
>AS THE ANCIENT HAWAIIANS USED TO SAY
>Soak it, sucker
>Somewhere, somehow, there's always one guy named after Mexican food
>How much does this cost? More than what you have, stop asking.
>Half-orc sorority
>I roll to kill the guy drinking Pepsi

>> No.41579034

>>41577037
It has a knob under there.

>> No.41579098

In PF we've started referring to the infernal language as high chellish

>> No.41579205

>>41578752
"Pufferfish? I hardly know her."

>> No.41579224

>>41561240

Irl example:

>wh40k
>"Tau have vaginas on their foreheads"
>Every. Fucking. Time.

>> No.41579272

http://youtu.be/6JaY3vtb760

Infinite variations on this with NPC names every time theres a plot twist.

>> No.41579333

>Lavender throw pillows
>"No, I said tentacle *rake*."
>"I see the ocean."
>"Fucking birds..."
>Actually, birds in general.
>Double-doors and spiral staircases
>A character kicking down the door, even when there aren't any
>"Purple worms"

>> No.41579437

>player accidentally says something meta in-character "Sorry it's really hot out."

One stretch of a campaign had the party wandering a nigh-infinite desert. All the characters were suffering from various stages of heat exhaustion and delirium, and the roleplay was pretty great, to the point where whenever anyone referred to anything OOC, everyone else would respond with genuine confusion in character. One character kept referring to metagamey concepts (HP, ability scores, etc.) and then justifying it as a result of the intense desert heat .

This continued on long after we left the desert and into every campaign we've done since.

>> No.41579454

Whenever robots, the word "morph" or "Ai ai ai ai aieee" (which is by itself an in-joke) are mentioned, the whole table is obligated to hum the Power Rangers theme, air guitar and headbang.

>> No.41579476

My Rouge that was in the Dwarven Mafia ended up doing a drug deal, the GM never lived down his line
>He hands you a brick the size of a brick

>> No.41579519

In a Mass Effect game, the GM once made the mistake of pointing out we had caught a scientist on Spacebook when he was supposed to be working, and from then on it was Sp-everything and he hated it. Space dumpster? Spumpster. Space Google? Spoogle. Space vermin? Spermin. etc.

>> No.41579526

>>41561436
4U

>> No.41579555

Player is approaching a magic spear embedded in the ground, Sword in the Stone kind of deal. Player approaches to grab it, I utter a line of pure and instantaneous regret:

>when you grab the shaft, it comes easily

Still comes up any time a vaguely phallic object appears.

>> No.41579621

>no, you cannot pay in yugioh cards
>technicolor rodent dick
>stop being lesbian in public it's still 4 PM
>a golden penis!
>[name of someone doing something really stupid] pls
>touch fluffy tail

And that's without the endless baneposting and /pol/ ebin meems that get thrown around every single day.

>> No.41579693

>>41561240
>IF is the middle word in LIFE
>Goblins/Dragons/Charlie don't surf!
>*City*, damn I'm still only in *city*

We first played DnD in high school about a week after we all watched Apocalypse Now for the first time. Some jokes never die.

>> No.41579809

>>41571222
Runescape taught me to type incredibly fast no matter where my hands are on the keyboard because when someone in chat wtb Rscimmy at varrock fountain you gotta type fast.

>> No.41579841

>>41561240
>This one better not be another Magical Girl...

>>41579519
So, you're playing Dragonball Abridged?

>> No.41579912

>Demolition on three hand me the dynamite
>We cement the wheels
>Atleast I have the hat
>The cleric is our pincushion

>> No.41580782

>>41571562

Wait. You called an OC monster Gazebo?

That's fucking hilarious dude. That deserves to be made fun of.

>> No.41582413

>>41580782
Hey man, maybe he just got confused what a gazebo is.

>> No.41582836

>>41561240
roll for initiative

>> No.41582856

>>41561364
Inside jokes somehow are autistic now. Autism confirmed for lost all meaning

>> No.41582929

>>41561436
Sounds like it was extremely painful.

>> No.41583524

>Bacon titties

>> No.41583876

A few times when I have started a campaign I have gone with
>I wanted to incorporate elements of nihilism into this campaign, but I didn't see the point.

Another one is that when the party (me)circus magician sorcerer, half-elf ranger, half-elf fighter, halfling rogue, and human cleric were following some guys through a jungle we came across a place where they had crossed a river, but it had swelled up in the past few hours and we couldn't cross in the same place so we were looking for something to mark the side of the river that we were on and the ranger suggested that since I was wearing brightly colored clothes that I take them off and tie them to a tree. I looked at the ranger's player and told them I'd rather keep my clothes on right now. Since then every time we are making a plan I will look at the ranger's player and say
>Preferably not something that involves me stripping.

>> No.41584080

The problem with inside jokes is that they are almost never funny to people who aren't "in".

>> No.41584144

>>41561436
Hothead pls go

>> No.41584516

>I send my fist [insert character name or object here]-ward

>> No.41584650

>>41561240
Not the ones I make.
Then again, I torment my table with anti-jokes, knock-knock jokes, barrage everyone with a torrent of intentionally unfunny puns, and "why x did y?" jokes.
I'm also not allowed to quote Obama

>> No.41584653

>>41561364
This is actually a key component of the backstory for all the named villains in my campaign. They all fall somewhere on the spectrum, the evil lieutenant cuts horses up and makes burgers out of them, and the BBEG is basically an evil wizard rainman.

Most of my players are spergs and none have caught on yet.

>> No.41584750

>Fish taboo
The result of constantly saying the wrong thing to a werepike

>> No.41584794

>>41571222
He's 15, cool guy tho.

>> No.41584804

>>41584653
I'm not sure how using horses as livestock puts someone on the spectrum.

>> No.41584828

>>41561240
>have you tried setting it to Wumbo

>> No.41585134

>>41561240
Nothing terribly specific, but they have a tendency to talk about how cool things they did in the past were and describe them in audible italics as if accomplishments that were essentially them imagining doing a cool thing and me confirming that it was okay for them to imagine that are something to be proud of.

>> No.41585148

>>41564444
Nice quads

>> No.41585228

>>41561240
>cuck
>meme

There is at least one player, often two, that only says something that pertains to one of these things.
They're the two other people that go to 4chan. They're nice, and they're intelligent (though they try a little too hard when trying to show it), but I would enjoy a session without referring to good equipment as memes, or calling literally anything a cuck. It feels like they either are afraid to show personality, or actually don't have one.

>> No.41585314

>>41585228
>tfw no personality and aware of it
I make dad jokes. It's the best I can do.

>> No.41585878

>>41571562
I didn't know you could get fantasy settings so weeaboo.

>> No.41586054

>>41584653
>the evil lieutenant cuts horses up and makes burgers out of them
Is this man's name Findus, by any chance?

>> No.41586287

>>41584804
I'll assume he meant donkeys. A donkey is also called an ass.
Ass-burgers.

>> No.41587140

>>41585314
It's alright, it just takes time and confidence.

>> No.41587168

Stalker RPG. We're planning a venture into the zone to get to a hospital for a rumoured artifact and we want blueprints so one player calls up whatever local authority has them. They want to know why he's interested in a property deep in the zone where it is very illegal to be, so he lies and says he wants to buy it.
This confuses them so they ask why.
Said player, thinking fast, states that it's so he can own property for a lordship.

Now we occasionally say "the LOOOOOORD of the zone!".

>> No.41587853

>>41561379
She Doooooooooooooooo

>> No.41588006

>>41580782
>>41582413
It's an old meme, but it checks out

>> No.41588049

>>41561240
>DM makes a 'joke' about someone dying every 5 minutes on average
>"I open the door" "You fall over and die"
>"I take a swing at the orc" "You die"
>"I hand over 500gp" "You die"
Occasionally there's more to it but it's usually just "you die", or some variant. Every few fucking minutes. It was slightly funny the first session but now it's just annoying.

>> No.41588067

>>41587853
please tell me the bling skelly in the background is her lich husband

>> No.41588080

>>41587853
I see no booty.
I don't even see hips.

>> No.41588447

>>41561240
>airheaded blond centauress
"I dunno, I'm just a horse."

>Satyr with a low climb skill
"Not all goats are mountain goat."
>players listening to the description of an NPC rom a GM who FUCKING LOVES BASTARD SWORDS
"Yep, and he has bastard swords, right?"

Time shenanigans.

>> No.41588609

>>41569210

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