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41419953 No.41419953 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Sup tg. I'm having trouble sleeping and in order to make sure I carry out my promise of making one of these this weekend I figured I'd get the thread up now and post until I drop.

>wut the hell is this?
its story time!
it's a semi regular episodic version of a campaign played by some friends and I about four or five years back. /tg/ seems to have enjoyed it and no one had banned me yet.

If you are here for the first time, don't worry we will get you up to speed.

Introductory pasta and typos to follow.

>> No.41420062
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41420062

>>41419953
there is a wiki curated by an awesome anon.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Britbongsteros

It also contains links to the previous threads.

>holy shit that's a lot of words.

It is.

So a quick summary of who is who and what is what:
because I'm telling these tales by accident, we started later in the adventures than the chronological beginning. If you will, we have already heard episodes 3-10 but not episodes 1-3. So we have gone back to the start. We are currently in the middle of episode one.

If this is confusing, just enjoy the ride.

The party are composed of five players these are:

Angus: an orc, enjoys pyromania, animal lover and flower arrangements.

The bard: a human, plays the bagpipes. Is generally a source of stupid (ly brilliant) ideas.

The wizard: a wizard (no shit). Controls metal and is generally fairly quiet. Source of brilliant(ly stupid) ideas.

The Navvie: a large angry human. He has a hammer. He hits things with it.

Aldous: A dwarven knight, also me.

There was a sixth player later but she hadn't actually joined in yet.
What happened last time?

>a great big God fell out of the sky (Baz)
>We fought some Roman legionarry skeletons in Dundee.
>our God got nicked by a necromancer
>we were strongarmed into serving the crown
>we went to get Baz back, we sort of....totally fucked it.
>Baz and the necromancer are now joined in a fusion of total evilness.
>We met what we think might be a demon, he's called Donny. We liked him.
>He blew up quite of lot of stuff.
>We no longer like Donny.
>Instead we have decided it's an idea to kill Donny before we go after Baz.
>we accidentally killed old Greg
>we discovered that Donny remains a cock but he also owes us a favour.
>a discussion about the meaning of "pneumatic"
>we acquired the stone of scone and killed a Dragon.

Currently we are short on fuel and in a small town called Bannockburn.

>> No.41420136

>>41420062
>Bannockburn

That should (maybe) sound familiar. Well last thread an anon typed up a very useful summary of the battle which took place there on the 23rd and 24th of June 1314. The date there may a bell for some anons.

From helpful anon:

it was a famous Scottish victory in the wars of Scottish independence, in 1314, so pre-magic in Britbongsteros

Robert the Bruce had Stirling Castle under siege, and Edward II (the son of Edward "Hammer of the Scots" I) commanded a force to break the siege.

At Bannockburn his army fought Bruce's numerically inferior one (it was around half the size) and lost, over the course of two days (unusual for medieval pitched battles).

With casualty estimates from 5100 - 15700 it's prime necromancer fodder

>> No.41420260

>>41420136

At this stage we do know the above as lore and we also know that the Stone of Scone is a deeply magical artefact.

We are also extremely aware we do not have a great deal of fuel.

The town itself seems deserted, though in the deep rolling thickness of the mist it's hard to tell.

What we need is some fuel. There might be a motor vehicle here we can scavenge.

>doesn't the flamethrower also work on the same stuff?

It does. We would rather have a working flamethrower to help us when looking for more fuel than run out of fuel further on and not be able to set shit on fire.

Looking at the town, the place feels flat out dead, and like it has been that way for a long time. It's nothing like Arbroath. It's silent, the buildings lean on each other at angles, supporting each other like drunks on a train platform.

Looking out over the main street, there is a definite air of pripyat

>> No.41420395

>>41420260
There have been issues with necromancery in this area for some time. It all started with cows. Then some hamlets, then by the time the army paid any attention there was already a critical mass of unpleasantness which was reanimating Edinburgh.

Bannockburn was one of the first places to go silent.

We didn't pass the battlefield on the way in but in theory we should be safer here than we have been previously.

We decant from the truck and begin exploring. The Wizard has the presence of mind to throw some metal filings over the stone as apparently he will sense if they are disturbed as long as he isn't too far away

>> No.41420490

>>41420395

We search by splitting into twos. Banging loudly on the door of each building before entering (because zombies)

The town is, as predicted, fairly deserted. We can see plenty of signs that people packed quickly and left quickly. We also can see that when leaving if anyone in the town had access to a motor vehicle they would have taken it.

>> No.41420716

>>41420490
Now although I keep calling it Bannockburn that isn't the name of the village, the village is actually Whins of Milton but it is near where the battle took place (there is also some issue as to exactly where the battle happened but anyway)

We don't feel that lingering here is a good idea. Especially so near to Stirling castle and whatever weirdness is likely to be in there.

While searching a giant sized house, the Navvie is rather impressed to find a hammer he can't lift (it being a giant sized hammer), he does also find some beer which as far as he is concerned resolves our logistical issues.

Fuel wise we come up empty handed.

It's about this time we notice a couple of things at once.

From the direction of Stirling Castle there is a definite and distinct glow to the sky.

Up ahead, as the mist shifts we are fairly sure we can see the broken down remains of what might just be a truck.

Last but not least at the other end of the road there is a figure in plate armour watching us.

>> No.41420860

>>41420716
The figure points at us. It doesn't advance it doesn't do anything. Just points. We notice other armoured figures in the mist. At windows, in doorways, all silent, all faceless, all pointing.

In the mist and darkness of the hamlet this feels creepy as fuck, but they do not advance, they don't do anything to threaten us. Everyone feels as though they are being pointed at individually. Moving doesn't make a difference. The figures are all pointing accusingly directly at you.

>> No.41421031
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41421031

Here we go.

And you forgot your name.

>> No.41421043

>>41420860
In the almost oppressive silence the engine of our truck is shockingly loud. We pile in and make for the other end of the road and hopefully fuel.

There are more figures as we pass, somehow moving while your eyes are closed or back is turned. We don't know if there are just that many of them that these are new ones or that they are just that fast. Either way it's not good.

What they do not do is come closer than about forty feet.

Yet.

Stopping at the other vehicle, a quick rap on the fuel tank confirms that not all of the fuel has evaporated. Angus seems to almost relish the task of siphoning as the rest of us stare nervously.

What we have not seen any of these figures do is move, but we watch them closely. They're so firmly placed it seems like they might have grown there.

As one they all take a very clear and unified step forward.

>Fuck.

>> No.41421062

>>41421031
Oops. Thanks anon.

>> No.41421121

>>41421043
As Angus methodically siphons fuel into a jerry-can, they complete the step and then stand perfectly stock still again.

We look into empty helmets or blank visors and see nothing. Something is very clearly staring back however or at least that's is how it feels.

>> No.41421187
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41421187

>>41421062
No problem.

>> No.41421217

>>41421121
Actually starting to feel tired which is good so possible last post for a bit.

They take another perfectly unified step. It starts to rain. Not just a shower either but a heavy sudden down pour. Big fat drops of rain which hit the cobblestones like they were thrown with the vehemence of a deity at the that enact spot.

On the flatbed of the truck. The stone is floating a tiny little bit. A centimetre or so off the surface.

Interestingly it's also completely dry.

Angus has great difficulty keeping water out of the fuel but manages, meanwhile.

Step.

They are clearly all around us.

Step

>> No.41422593
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41422593

Looks like it's going to be a hard first night for this thread.

>> No.41424774
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41424774

And bump again before bed.

I don't think anyone else who has been reading along with this story has realized this thread exists yet and it would be a shame to let it die like that.

So here's hoping someone else will help keep it afloat.

>> No.41425302
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41425302

Last one of these I have.

>> No.41425424

Good morning.

Content to follow.

>>41425302
New bloom county? Can it be?! Also thank you for bumping anon.

>> No.41425624
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41425624

>>41425424

The faceless things are closing in. We decide its probably time to consider doing something about them.

The wizard reports they don't register for him. As far as he is concerned the rusted steel of their armour is non existent. Experimentally he tries flinging a quick saw blade at one. It doesn't pass through it but it also doesn't impact. It's as though the blade went through the space occupied by the faceless at an earlier point in time when it wasn't there.

I decide to try unloading on one. It's similarly pointless.

There is however one slight difference as they take another step.

A low whistling moan, just on the edge of audibility.

The Navvie decides enough is enough and prepares to fling the last of our explosives at them.

The satchel charge we note is completely ignored as it lands in front of one of the things.

Angus (who so far has been ignoring all this) is pulled down by the bard as the detonation rings in the silence.

Small pieces of masonry drop around us as our ears ring.

Looking back up over the siding of the truck we establish that did fuck all.

>> No.41425711

>>41425624
We settle for helping Angus as best we can. Finally the noise of fuel slopping from can to tank sounds like the most beautiful of things.

Step.

Gluggluglug

Step

Angus tosses the empty jerrycan away and as the engine of our truck roars into life, the wizard floors it.

The stone has other ideas.

It's still floating and decides to liberate itself from the back of the truck.

We however keep going. Bracing for impact on one of the figures in the centre of the road, we pass straight through it.

The stone hovers about chest height.

We slow to a halt as the figured advance on it.

>> No.41425763

>>41425711
Rather than pointing fingers the outstretched hands are now grasping for the stone.

There's an actinic blue flash like a lightning strike as they make contact.


https://youtu.be/HRjUcnuJEaE

Song related and I'll be back later.

>> No.41426870

Just prodding this up the board.

>> No.41428187
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41428187

huh

>> No.41429171
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41429171

>> No.41429480

>>41425424
Yeah, it's been back since the 12th of this month.

>> No.41430764

Bumping from page 9.

>> No.41432148

Daily reminder we hate the Zerg.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIIKUpryl2Q
Also bump.

>> No.41433334

>>41419953
>/tg/ seems to have enjoyed it
At any rate, you landed on 1d4chan, so at least two anons give a fuck. Nice to have you back, mate.

>> No.41433475

>>41433334
I dont know about 1d4chan, but I also give fucks. Also I just apparently lost all of my bear pictures. Drecksmistkacke.

>> No.41433678

Greetings anons. Finishing up dinner. Posting occurring about 21:00 GMT

>> No.41434325

>>41433475
If any of the ones you posted in previous threads are pics you were particularity fond of, you can always open up the archives and re-save them.

>> No.41434409

>>41434325
kek, no, I had just numbered them & was trying to avoid repetition. Now I'd have to search for some on google again, so I don't think I'll bother.

"Signing" my posts with characteristic pics is basically tripfagging anyway, and I wanted to avoid that too
rawr

>> No.41435053
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41435053

Here we go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbOCF9zYgHc

>>41434325
To my complete, utter and total surprise. Pic related.

>>41433334
I am weirdly pleased to be on there, all thanks to wiki-anon mostly.

>> No.41435097

>>41425763

Not too long ago, we were pretty normal people. We sure have seen some shit recently, and this is just about topping it all. Shafts of light ripple from the stone, flickering and trickling over the grasping figures.

The stone explodes, blinding us.

>What the actual fuck did we just do?

>> No.41435164
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41435164

>>41435097

The armoured figures are very much still standing.

The earth, rust, grime and filth is gone from their armour. Where once there were faceless empty husks. Now there are grinning skulls.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbOCF9zYgHc

>Who amongst you summoned us? Which of you would seek to lead the Host of Bruce? Which of you is the spider that plucks the web? Who calls us forth in this hour of Scotland's need?

Well Aldous, technically you're in charge mate. This one's all you.

>> No.41435289

>>41435164

Err....I did?

>WHO ARE YOU TO SUMMON US?

We are...fight for...um...We fight for the crown!

>WHICH? WE HAVE WATCHED, WE HAVE WAITED. WE HUNGER FOR VICTORY. MANY STRANGE THINGS HAVE COME TO OUR LANDS, AND NOW BY GOD AND ALL OF HIS SAINTS, WE WILL PURIFY THEM, BY SWORD AND FIRE. ALL WHO HAVE SEEN OR SUFFERED THE TAINT WILL BE CLEANSED.

...all?

>THAT IS WHY WE ARE SUMMONED. THERE CAN BE NO OTHER REASON. WE WILL WIPE THE LAND CLEAN FROM THE ANTONINE WALL TO KIRKWALL. WE WILL NOT REST. WE WILL NOT TIRE. WE WILL NOT FALTER.

Oh arse. We've accidentally tripped some sort of buried superweapon...

>> No.41435356

>>41435289

>YOU HAVE SUMMONED US WITH THE STONE. WE ARE HERE. WHAT TASK HAVE YOU FOR US? WE WILL KILL UNTIL HELL ITSELF BOILS OVER FOR THE CROSS OF ST. ANDREW

So you'll kill everybody?

>YES.

Everybody everybody? Us?

>YES. YOU LAST. THEN YOU MAY JOIN US IN SLUMBER UNTIL WE ARE NEXT NEEDED TO FEED THE HEATHER WITH BLOOD.

Could we...err...put you back in your box?

>WHY?

DM is grinning. The grin of "Mate are you really sure you wish to pursue this line of questioning?"

>> No.41435427

>>41435356
There is hushed party conference.

>what the fuck do we do about this?

Our meditations are interrupted by the unmistakeable "fwunk" noise of a cork being removed from a whisky bottle. (it really does make a particular noise)

On the back of the truck sits Donny, pouring himself a nice big drink.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r06ubE_y7yQ

>Well boys. This lot sure look useful.

>> No.41435471

>>41435427
Dammit Donny.

And did you guys really change songs that fast in the game?

>> No.41435734

>>41435471
Apologies had to urgently acquire beer.

I'm missing out a bit of in party discussion and some songs get posted as thematically relevant (or just what I happen to be listening to when I'm typing)

>> No.41435814

>>41435734
Now then.

On we go.

Donny grins. A very, very big grin. Mirrored by the DM.

>We really are going to have to do something about him...

>I could take them off your hands for you. They'll be pretty handy to me and I'll let you borrow them for help with Baz.

The host aren't paying the damndest bit of attention to Donny, it seems they can't see him.

>Let me borrow them for a bit, and I'll give them back at a time that's thematically important, then take them off your hands. It's that or you let them loose to wipe out the country of course. I'm pretty sure that's not in your remit now is it lads?

>> No.41435853

>>41435814
Ok...this seems like an astonishingly bad idea but what else are we gonna do?

>Just say the word Aldous, tell them to go with me and follow me. I'll bring them back only slightly used...

We...err....

(Party huddle)

Ok Donny you can take them for now....

>> No.41435886

>>41435853

>What Donny did with the host of Bruce

Someone, somewhere, may have wondered what happened to Portugal. We later found out, that something very bad happened to Portugal.

>> No.41435934

>>41435853
We order the host to follow Donny until he brings them back to us. To follow him wherever he goes.

They unsheathe shining silver blades, salute, and follow him.

Donny winks.

>Don't even think about double-crossing me here boys, but when you need them, break this bottle (he tosses Angus a whisky bottle which Angus drains then sticks in his sack).

>> No.41435970

>>41435934

Donny and the host march off. Donny twirling his walking stick like a band-leader.

>I really hate that guy.

>We all do.

>Wizard: I have a plan.

>> No.41436035

>>41435886
First you've ever mentioned Portugal in these stories, so it must've been something pretty awful.

>> No.41436120

>>41435970

The more immediate issue remains Baz. Then Donny. We head southwards. Driving through the night mostly without event, hitting Hadrians wall by sun-up and into the North of England.

We find ourselves near Newcastle with the rising sun. We head for Fenham Barracks.

>>41436035
There's a reason I haven't. I'd have had to tell you about it if I mentioned it (and man am I glad we don't have any anons from there) basically, Donny for reasons unknown, really did not like Portugal and over the course of the next few days, the population of the country were methodically, utterly, and totally slaughtered by the host of Bruce.

>> No.41436138

>>41436120
>We are bad people.

>> No.41436185

>>41436120
Google is just giving me nothing for "Host of Bruce" so if they're a reference to something, it is totally lost on me.

>> No.41436214

>>41436185
There was a king of scotland named Bruce iirc, and he might have something to do with that bannockburn thing, right?

>> No.41436240

>>41436214
>>41436185

Right here >>41420136

>> No.41436266

>>41436240
For some reason that wasn't clicking for me because of the Host thing.

>> No.41436289

>>41436138
We are very bad people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp5JCrSXkJY

I've talked about Newcastle before. The place is already good and fucked. Very much on a war footing, Men, boys, anyone that can hold a rifle has taken the Queene's shilling. The normally cheerful Geordies are very aware they're likely to be meeting death soon. As we pull into Fenham there are rank after rank of conscripts. It seems like the army were already planning to march North.

It might just be the nature of the conflict but the rifles seem oh so poor compared to what they're going to be facing. Brown-Bess muskets against the necromancers?

Sweet jesus.

>Yes Captcha, that claymore anti-personnel mine is actually a burger.

>> No.41436361 [SPOILER] 
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41436361

>>41436289
We present our letters of authority to the sentries, and are swiftly ushered into the presence of the commander of this bunch.

Pic related (on the left) the chap on the right is hovering off to one side.

>> No.41436423

>>41436361

>Prince George? I thought Queenie only had three brothers?

She did by the time I got to telling you about them last time...

His friend however...well as you know, did rather well out of what's about to come.

>> No.41436508

>>41436361'
...

He looks like his pisses in a bucket.

>> No.41436755

>>41436508
At this stage anon, we all do.

As we enter HQ, Blackadder sighs loudly.

>Who or what are you lot?

>Oh come on Bladder they look like fun!

>> No.41436828

>>41436755
We explain ourselves.

>George: Well that's bloody fortunate, we were just going up there! A bit of bish bash bosh and we'll see those bony buggers back to bed!

>We do not have good feels.

Well, it'll have to do...

>Yes we'll be back home before Christmas and don't you worry my boys will show them that proper british spirit!

>we're about to get a whole lot more folk killed aren't we?

>> No.41437001

Testing.

>> No.41437069

>>41437001
SUCCESS it works!

On we go then.

>> No.41437112

>>41436828
It'd be funny if it were currently January or February in the game with that stock Christmas stiff upper lippery.

Dang database errors.

>> No.41437133

>>41437069
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvKyBcCDOB4

Now at this stage, we had one of our little mini-sidequest things, would anon like me to digress?

>> No.41437226

>>41437133
Of course we want to hear it.

Lay it on me.

>> No.41437281

>>41437226

The army march in 24 hours. They march to almost certain death.

The party agreeing that we will tag along with mad prince George and the decidedly shifty Blackadder are left to our own devices for the first time in a while.

With the plot-train refuelling, we retire to the pub.

>> No.41437335

>>41437281

Now this is one of those times in Britbongsteros we decided to do a little method acting (we got plastered in character)

Each of us did actually have a backstory of sorts and at this point we swapped stories, went into who we were and what was best in life.

Cruella played barmaid (not very well I might add but she did get the job of facillitating discussion).

So what follows are a series of IC discussions about who we are, a lot of which anon already knows, but it might be useful to have for background and fun.

>> No.41437392

>>41437335

The Navvie:

I was brought up rough not far from here. There's not much more to life than what my own two hands can get me. Life is nasty, brutish and short. I killed a man with these hands. I know we've killed plenty since, but when a labourer kills a lord for deciding he wants to stick more than his cock in a woman, well they don't take kindly to that round these parts.
My family think I'm dead, or I hope they do.

>> No.41437504

>>41437392
The bard:

>Uuh I'm a Bard

FOR FUCKS SAKE ROLEPLAY

>I like music?

OH COME ON

>I come from this little island off the coast of China and...

SHUT UP

>I had a haggis?

....

>I play music because it was my only outlet after my alcoholic father beat me and lost me in a game of cards to a group of pirates. I was the cabin boy aboard a ship of thieves in the Solway Firth, when one night it foundered because I fell asleep on watch I swum ashore and promised myself I would never commit another violent act, that music would be my only outlet, just like my dear old dead mother wanted. I'd...I would play for her, I'd bring joy to repay my sins. I'd pipe the sorrow from the world.

>Holy fuck.

>> No.41437607

>>41437504
Wizard:

You all know this already, but he's out and about to earn his fortune, to bring the dowry back to Aberdeen for his wife to be. He's in love and that's...well that's about it.

>Angus

Nice and simple.

I have a shop. It's all I've ever wanted. A nice little place to call my own, I didn't have much growing up and I grew that business from selling rat pies to drunks to a fine establishment. I don't really know how I got here, and to be honest, if I stop and think I'll break down, but I'm here and until I get back to my little shop, I'm having the time of my life.

>> No.41437663

>>41437607
>Aldous

I was a merchant, I did well from my family estates, I married, I had a daughter, the very light of my life.

She was taken from me by the then King, we never knew what happened to her, I turned to drink, my wife left, my business was ruined and I was in Dundee because it's where I washed up. The estates in Dorf-shire being run by my factor and younger brother.

>> No.41437684

so there we go, backstories

>> No.41437715

while I [do a thing] any thoughts/queries?

>> No.41437848

>>41437715
The Bard and his player continues to be a source of humor to me.

Though his comments on China did make me recall the opium trade is in full swing and to begin pondering on what kind of magical drugs must have come about in the setting.

>> No.41438078

>>41437848
>I'm extremely glad. The bard was...well this song incarnate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M60zW_Mfm58

>> No.41438273

>>41438078
btw Drawfag, if you ever check these, do you want a comission?

[still thing doing]

>> No.41438308

>>41438078
That makes it surprising that he, or really any of you, managed to hang onto the same characters all the way until the end of the campaign.

But also impressive that he was able to do it.

>> No.41438607

>>41438308
Now you mention it, so am I, the understanding was always that if we did something truly retarded, we would die.

Now anons I'm getting kinda (as in very) tired I'll be hanging around in the thread for a bit but will do more story time tomorrow.

>> No.41438939

He's asleep. These have actually been quite good fun to follow.

>> No.41439046

>>41438939
It's certainly been a fun diversion during this year so far.

I'm interested in seeing what he's going to do once he makes it to the point where he initially started at.

>> No.41439053

I know we tried this once before but I dozed off. If you want second opinion I'm around. be nice, I'm new here.

>> No.41439089

well it all links up as far as I know but tbh I mostly just watched this bit. Much more fun getting to play. I'll never understand why it's such a big thing.

>> No.41439320

>>41439089
It's a fun story.
I'm impressed with the sheer length of it and that it has an actual ending.

Most of the time when someone is telling a story around here it falls apart (story teller disappears or the group splits) before it gets truly finished.

If he's gonna keep telling it, I'm gonna keep listening until he's done.

>> No.41439572

well I'm going to bed but I'm glad you're enjoying it.

>> No.41441096

Well, time to work on keeping the thread from dying before the story resumes.

>> No.41443794

>>41435886
>>41436120
I know who Donny reminds me of...

https://youtu.be/aaZhJ6w9C_4

>> No.41446054

I'll give this a bump before bed and hopefully that'll keep it up long enough for someone else to take over keeping it up.

>> No.41447433

>>41443794
A Bump seems in order, so here's hoping aldous'll be back soon.

>> No.41449311

>>41447433
And once more.

>> No.41450214

>>41449311
yall not alone

>> No.41450491

Afternoon anons, I'll be doing posting this evening - probably about 19:00 GMTor so. As always my thanks for your bumps.

>> No.41451409

Morning bump.

>> No.41451413

almost 4pm rawr

>> No.41452378

>>41450491
3hours2go?

>> No.41453461

rawr

>> No.41454876

and again.

>> No.41455185

Hello anons, still out and about so running a bit late. Posting commencing soon hopefully.

>> No.41455373

>>41455185
>a bit late
about 17 minutes at this point. #autism
thats a lot better than my local railway company though

>> No.41455932

>>41455373
Aldous usually runs late by at least an hour or two.

>> No.41456199

>>41455373
In that case, call me British rail anon.

>>41455932
Hahaha this is concerningly true. As always, I'll happily be the first to call myself an enormous faggot.

I am however, here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTP2RUD_cL0 [n.b. one of my favourite riffs ever]

So where were we?

Ah yes, the party had a bit of time off and generally enjoyed getting hammered aside from the backstories and general getting to know each other bit, it was not as eventful as the usual event in Britbongsteros, but everybody got hammered and the party seemed to enjoy themselves.

The next morning suitably hungover we toddle back to Fenham

Our spirits are a bit low, we know a whole lot of these troops are going to die soon and it's going to be our fault.

We also know that whatever Baz now is, that's kinda...again our bad.

The Donny situation is just...

My god we are crap at being heroes aren't we?

>> No.41456255

>>41456199

We don't pay a great deal of attention to the newspaper Blackadder is reading to George while he eats a boiled egg. On the front page is something about "PORTUGAL ATTACKED" but we have enough of our own problems to deal with.

There's also a short, angry man chain smoking cigars. The hat and demeanour identify this grumpy dwarf as Isambard-Fuck-You-I'll-build-it-where-I-want Brunel

>> No.41456341
File: 36 KB, 615x409, TM188935.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41456341

>>41456255

He is here on orders of the current Privy Council, he also seems very interested in our letters of authority and gets the story of what happened up north from us.

Isambard is not best pleased to hear Dan Defoe is dead, but he does reveal there is a detachment of the Special Bastard Squadron which will be accompanying us up north. We (as this is all our fault - sometihng he reminds us of again) will be accompanying them and the regiments forming up outside.

>> No.41456531

>>41456341

The party after a short break, leave with the army. The band plays https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buEuaN-wKW0 as we head off.

Really the whole thing should feel pretty glorious, rank after rank of red jacketed tommies, but those tommies are not well trained, the definitely do not seem to be volunteers. The artillery train is a mish-mash of different guns and calibres, they've cleaned out the armouries and sent forth every last thing that can be found.

The SBS however, are a good deal more impressive, notably by their absence, it takes a little while but we actually realise that bush over there, is them.

Later on the march, we are joined by a detachment of Dwarven heavy infantry, these are definitely more like it. Full-plate and each with a plentiful amount of explosives and fire-arms. Maybe we are not as fucked as we thought.

>> No.41456559

>>41456341
I foresee many especially dead bastards by the time this is over.

>> No.41456662

>>41456559
I'd hate to think exactly what the party's bodycount was throughout these adventures. It's...rather a lot.

>> No.41456823

>>41456662
Well yes, but up to this point in the story the party has only been directly responsible for killing... about maybe a medium sized town's worth of people.

Indirectly though, that's rather difficult.

>> No.41457308

>>41456823

The march of the army northwards should take about a week, we tag along, learning a bit more about the situation up North as we go and the plan.

The plan is actually a fairly simple one. March north up the admittedly poor roads towards Berwick upon tweed and then meet a squadron of naval vessels, travel north on those, decamp at Dundee and on to Baz.

The issues start almost immediately.

The supply wagons are too wide for the roads, the artillery carriages can't handle the pace or the state of the road and a lot of it becomes irrevocably stuck.

The party do our best to help out, be it the brute force of the Navvie, the bard doing his best to inspire, Angus and the Wizard fixing broken axles from seemingly nothing but even so, it's ten days before we are even near Berwick. The naval squadron that should be waiting, isn't.

>> No.41457406

>>41457308
The party investigate. We drive up to Berwick and discover the remnants of the Squadron in combat with a quantity of sea monsters (those lovely things the alchemists have been making and a few of the natural ones that have been kicking about).

The navy eventually win, but there's no way we'll all fit aboard.

The plan is to send for more ships and send an advance company of us, the SBS, the dwarves and some of the troops. Including George and Blackadder.

We don't know what Baz is up to, but we do know that the sooner we get to him the better.

The DM keeps mentioning Portugal, with the newspapers reporting that the country is a wasteland now.

The voyage North doesn't take us close to shore (avoiding what is definitely Necromancer terrirtory of the Firth of Forth) and we land in Dundee at night.

>> No.41457436

>>41457406
by the way anon, there's not actually a great deal of Britbongsteros left now, I hadn't realised how close we were. This may in fact be the last thread.

>> No.41457677

>>41457436
I figured as much.

Though once you've gotten to where you first started, there's the patching it all together part that will require at least some editing.

>> No.41458383

Anons I'm being dragged out for a couple of hours. I won't be long but will be absent for a little while. Then hopefully we can finish this up tonight or tomorrow evening.

Be rather sad to see it go.

>> No.41459008

>>41458383
You expressed the same sentiment some months ago when we were approaching the ending, but you found a way to keep going regardless.

I'm curious to see what you'll do to keep going this time.

>> No.41460634

Bumping.

>> No.41461638

>>41457406
>Including George and Blackadder
Queenie's brother, going with the advance elements of the army?

Is this typical George thickheadedness, or is Queenie not so fond of her little bro?

Anyway, bump at quarter past midnight, bong time

>> No.41462980

>>41461638
Queenie gives zero fucks about her brothers in this story and only lets her full blood brother live to serve as an advanced warning if any of her half brothers are looking to try to take the throne for themselves since they'd have to kill him first.

>> No.41464493

Bump

>> No.41466060

4AM GMT bump

>> No.41467288

>>41466060
If you haven't slept yet, then go to sleep.

Not even midnight here yet, I'll be up for another three hours at least, so I'll check up on the thread until I go to bed.

>> No.41468849

And bump.

>> No.41470576

And my last bump before bed.

Hopefully I bought it enough time.

>> No.41472089

bumpity bump

>> No.41472819

>>41470576
We'll just to hope for Aldous to return soon enough.

>> No.41474285
File: 2.85 MB, 1800x5000, igor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41474285

>> No.41475420

Morning bump.

>> No.41476871

about time i bump again i guess

>> No.41477354

>>41476871
It could very well be the last Britbongsteros storytime thread.

>> No.41477836

>>41477354
yeah. after that I'll have no excuse not to get the whole story off of 1d4chan and typeset it nicely into a pdf/book...

Yo Aldous, would that be a thing? I mean, lol copyright on the internet, but its "your" story, right?

>> No.41478365

>>41477836
I've tried to do typesetting with the 1d4chan page, things like indenting conversations and lore dumps, but other things (like lines beginning with > being put into in italics when they aren't dialogue in addition to being indented) I got really inconsistent with because I forgot about it.

If I could, I'd have Aldous read over his own works to see if he spots anything he messed up on once it's all over, told, and collected in one place.

>> No.41478706

>>41478365
>typesetting with the 1d4chan page
I was more kinda thinking LaTeX magic

>> No.41478833

>>41478706
The definition I know for typesetting has always been wrong in some way.

Or at least I seem to have a running theme of not getting that word.

>> No.41479349

Speaking of Aldous, I'll be around from about 21:30 GMT till I drop.

>> No.41479923

>>41478833
I was thinking book. Like, cover page, authors citations, table of contents, chapters chapters chapters.

>> No.41480372

on what happens next, I was going to see if drawfag still wants to (as I think he sort of mentioned) draw a comic about it, or I was going to start turning the lot into prose as opposed to greentext.

>> No.41480396

>>41479923
I'd imagine the chapter listing would be more broken up than the current sections we have.

I'm probably going to rename "The Necromancers of Scotland" thing on the wiki page to "The Purple Penguin" since it feels much more appropriate.

>> No.41480424

>>41480372
I thought he said he'd (http://bored-drawfriend.deviantart.com/) draw all the characters.

I don't recall any mention of a comic.

>> No.41480488

>>41480424
some guy said something about wanting to steal the setting and draw a comic based on it. Always assumed that was drawfag. If not, prose it is then.

>> No.41481634

>>41467288
Heh, I'm CST. It was only 10PM here, i just figured I'd bump it with the right time zone.

>> No.41481751

Story time commencing.

>>41459008
Not sure if there's much to do to keep it going after this. Though the setting actually left a lot of plot hooks for further adventures with another party (but nearly everybody is dead).

>>41461638
>>41462980
This is correct.

>>41474285
This reminds me of something...

>>41477836
I'm really not sure what the next step is Anon, I have notions of typing the whole thing up into a manuscript. Though whether anyone'd actually buy the damn thing I've no idea.

>>41478365
Wiki-anon remains a hero.

>Captcha you getting weirder already...

>> No.41481894

>>41457406
It's not long after we land that we get news of what FrankenBaz has been up to. The rest of the Necromancers are concentrating in Edinburgh, they don't seem to be advancing as they were, the blight is tightening, consolidating maybe? (They're building those towers we nuked later).

Baz however has been spotted attacking refugee columns and seems to have taken to unlife rather well. His latest tricks seem to require killing people in the goriest way possible then reanimating them. Corpses which have suffered from:

>Look this up at your peril

>Blood eagle
>Necklacing
>Water torture (not the Chinese kind)
>The comfy chair
>plumbs (not what you think)
>the old favourite with the rat


and what I thought was a rather creative one where you put the person on a breaking-wheel, then reanimate the gangrenous dead flesh of the broken limbs and make it choke them to death.

>> No.41481974

>>41481751
But seriously, you should give it at lease a once over after it's all collected.

>> No.41481997

>>41481894
The logic of all this (as we understand it) has something to do with those Soul-cube things, for Baz, the more agonising the death, the better.

One further method he has apparently been experimenting (and also how the living have got news of all this) has been what he has called

>The Wild Hunt

Which is simply good old fashioned fox hunting, except you have a human being as the fox, and the dogs are replaced with whatever Baz devises.

A lucky couple of civilians have escaped to give us the news.

The party have their own little council of war.

Thoughts drift firstly to mutiny.

>Yknow, we could actually just leg it...We're back where we started. I miss my shop. - Angus

>We could but this is our fault, and I for one, clean up my messes. - Wizard

>Fuck 'em - Navvie

Is that a yay or nay Navvie?

>Fuck 'em.

>We have a duty, we also have to remember if someone does not try to stop this here, now, who will? - Bard.

(My god Bard... that was almost helpful).

>I agree with...unusually...the Bard. - Me.

>> No.41482016

>>41481974
Oh it definitely needs me to have a look over it again, I definitely could say many things a good deal more clearly, and wiki-anon has done a sterling job so far, but I can't leave it all to him.

>> No.41482216

>>41481997
Baz is still operating out of the old Roman camp and as far as we know, the army plan on attacking this. We are fortunate enough to be privy to Prince George's planning session.

There is a crudely drawn map of the camp and its surroundings on the table.

George's plan is as follows:

>We march up to them, kick the doors in, and give them the old one-two.

Blackadder and the SBS commander (some guy called Chris Lee) are horrified (as are we)

>Yes so we'll go in about lunchtime, give them plenty of time to be up and about, that sounds about right doesn't it? I don't know this is my first time doing this.

>> No.41482259

>>41481894
So would that be Frank-in-Baz?

>> No.41482357

>>41482216

We eventually convince George that this is not a good idea. Remember he is:

1. Royal
2. A Faerie
3. Technically out ranks everyone for several hundred miles
4. Can and will have anyone executed for fun.

We insist stealth is the right option, the SBS should lead the advance toward the camp, scouting and making the way for the attack. Then the Dwarves and infantry can do their thing and arrive comfortably from our proposed camp at about 10:00am.

George thinks this is a great idea and insists on a night march, as opposed to the saner option of marching, making camp, then marching in daylight. He wants to set off in the evening, and march through the night.

We try very hard to persuade him this is a terrible idea.

>My lord you and the troops will be tired

No I won't, I'll sleep on the way

>My lord even you can't win the fight all on your own.

I suppose not...

>the troops will be too tired to fight at their best

I thought peasants slept standing up. That's right isn't it? If not, well I'm sure they'll be plenty keen to set to the enemy and get stuck in! And that is the end of it I won't hear any more. Who wants a drink?

>My lord....

I said who wants a drink?

He bares his wickedly sharp faerie teeth. Ending the dicussion.

>>41482259
Anon is correct on every level.

>> No.41482494

>>41482357
What all this means essentially is the DM is setting us up to expect a cluster-fuck.

The troops don't know what they're facing, we don't know how many enemies we might be facing, and then we do have the Donny-based WMD but we want to save that and hopefully use the wizards plan (which I'll tell you about later as not to spoil it) to end that issue.

>> No.41482507

>>41482016
There's also a bunch of places where single lines can be put together to form paragraphs.

>> No.41482528

>>41482494
George insists we march the following day about dinner time. We use the night firstly to get some sleep and then we have a further think.

The conclusion of this think is, what if George changed his mind...or was made to change it...

>> No.41482624
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41482624

>>41482528
We brainstorm over breakfast.

The SBS would be more than willing to help. Their leader seems like a good chap (pic related) bit old, but seems to know his shit and this is what remains of his elite fighting force so he'll want to see it well used.

George insisted that his favourite "battle carriage" be taken with us on the boat, and if something happened to that, we figure it might just help persuade him to delay.

(By which I mean we're gonna happen to it)

We also know we are dancing with death doing this, so we'll need plausible deniability and a nice big distraction.

>> No.41482692
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41482692

>>41482624
N.b. when I say "Battle-Carriage" I don't mean that in a hardcore warhammer way, I really do mean lots of gold leaf, fancy and generally ideally suited for rolling about London in. It is not the most suitable of vehicles.

Between them the Wizard and the Navvie if left to thier own devices for a few minutes, would be able to wreck it enough to delay departure to a more sensible time. We cannot however just walk up to the thing and smash the wheels off.

>> No.41482852
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41482852

>>41482692

We know it's not the most metal of solutions, we also know however we can't just kill him, and convincing him otherwise seems out.

It's a simple matter for Angus and I to distract the guard on the carriage.

Essentially the DM roleplays the guard, and I tell him the story of the Black and White Spacemarine (knight in this case) which the DM had, until this point, never heard, while the Navvie and Wizard sneak round the other side and shear through the axle.

The DM, the better part of half an hour later (the story of the black and white space-marine takes about an hour to tell - longer if you do all the actions) gives up and declares us successful.

>> No.41482873

>>41482852
>The black and white...

It is on google but what I know of as the full version isn't, and like fuck am I typing all that out.

It's essentially the longest shaggy dog story I know.

>> No.41482893

>>41482873
Here's a bit of it:

>There once was this Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Bike, and being the hero-type person that he was, he wanted to marry the commander's daughter. So he went up to the palace, and the guard naturally inquired "Who goes there?"

>To which the Black and White Space Marine replied: "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."

>"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"

?"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."

>"OK, pass."

>> No.41482925

>>41482873
I can just take your word for it.

>> No.41483002

>>41482925
probably for the best. It's a crap joke.

>> No.41483189

>>41482852
Anyway, the end result of all this, is that as the army lines up in marching order, George ascends his carriage, and the thing falls to bits. This leads to a fantastic squawk of rage, and everyone else back relaxing.

The wizard and Navvie volunteer to fix the thing and we (much to our pleasure) set off at the time we originally proposed.

George is too happy to have his favourite carriage back to care.

It's a small victory, but a significant one for us.

>> No.41483519
File: 101 KB, 1000x611, 507da6148057c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41483519

>>41483189
The army march and arrive at Glamis Castle (pic related) in good time. They make camp. The SBS start patrolling the surrouding area.

Spirits seem reasonably high.

Any anons who have checked the wikipedia page for Glamis may see that there could be a couple issues here....

>> No.41483675

>>41483519
I'm getting the impression that there's just a layer of dead people buried all over the British Isles like the layers of peat.

>> No.41483699

>>41483519
Despite the depradations of Baz, the small unit of local troops guarding the castle have been left entirely unmolested. Even so they look like they haven't slept in months.

Questioning by the party (the SBS having already fucked off into the woods) leads nowehere. They refuse to be drawn.

We chalk this up to creepy weirdness and decide to see about a spot of dinner.

We pass the open doors of the great hall where George and co are having dinner.

There's a very familiar looking bloke playing cards with the Laird. Aside from the fact he's wearing a Portugeese Toureiro.

>>41483675
Welcome to Europe, we've been murdering each other for millenia.

>> No.41484132

>>41483699
Now we can't just barge in and say "HES THE FUCKING PROBABLY MAYBE DEVIL AND STUFF" also one way or another he's here for some sort of reason.

We decide on simply finding food and going from there. Getting down to the kitchens we scare up enough food and beer to be quite happy with the situation.

We get this peculiar "being watched" feeling.

>> No.41484152

>>41484132
Now anons, nearly time for bed here, and this seems like a good place to pause for the night. I'll be around a bit though if anyone wants to know anything.

>> No.41484269

>>41484132
>We get this peculiar "being watched" feeling.
Fscking Coliunn again?

>> No.41484546

>>41484269
Obvious clue is somewhat obvious I admit.

>> No.41484575

>>41484269
You think he's following the party or Donny around?

>> No.41486342

Bumping.

>> No.41488703

And again.

>> No.41490816

Bump

>> No.41492949

I don't feel like having two 20 hour days in a row, so this'll be my last bump for the night.

Someone else will hopefully take over until the story resumes.

>> No.41494544

bump in the continental morning

>> No.41495953 [DELETED] 
File: 328 KB, 970x545, The-Storyteller_Jim-Henson_featured.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41495953

Yo Aldous, Anon that cried last thread here.
>This may in fact be the last thread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygcEAKZ8o_I
It's been quite a tale mate, I thank you for the laughs, the feels, the dreams and the inspiration.

>> No.41496071
File: 28 KB, 500x586, PurplePenguin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41496071

Yo Aldous, Anon that cried last thread here.
>This may in fact be the last thread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygcEAKZ8o_I
It's been quite a tale mate, I thank you for the laughs, the feels, the dreams and the inspiration.

>> No.41496138 [DELETED] 
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41496138

>>41496071
>>41496071
Also, I think that Britbongsteros is without a doubt comic/novel worthy material, should you and your group pursue this path you will definitely count with my moral and monetary support.

>> No.41496198
File: 328 KB, 970x545, The-Storyteller.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41496198

>>41496071
Also, I think that Britbongsteros is without a doubt comic/novel worthy material, should you and your group pursue this path you can definitely count with my moral and monetary support.

>> No.41498989

Bump, and I'll just say that this is awesome.

>> No.41499311

BUMP

>> No.41500378

Morning bump.

>> No.41501255

>>41500378
Bump.

>> No.41502680

Bumping while having lunch.

>> No.41503624
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41503624

I'm gonna bump this before I have to deal with more computer shit.

>> No.41503804

Hello anons, just got home after a very, very long day. Let me get settled and I'll start posting in about 45 minutes to an hour.

>> No.41504640

>>41503804
OK.

Let's see what'll happen.

>> No.41505198

Anons, I don't think there's going to be Britbongsteros tonight. We've just had some rather bad news about a relative. I hope you all understand but please accept my apologies.

>> No.41505415

>>41505198
Yeah, I understand. Sorry to hear that.

>> No.41505421

>>41505198
Hey, you're fine. Real life is more important than telling a story, even one this great. We'll be here when you need us.

>> No.41507367

I wonder if we should let this thread go or not.

>> No.41507642

>>41507367
Given it was apparently only really a
>minor heart attack
I'm still taking as much of tomorrow off as I can.

>TLDR: storyfag continues posting to take mind off things

>>41484132
That being watched feeling is as noted an extremely familiar one. Naturally it puts everyone on edge. We check the doors and windows (of which in an old castle kitchen there are not many) and deciding there is nothing doing, we continue our meal.

It's not long before (as the Navvie and I break into our fourteenth and fourth beers respectively) we hear gunfire.

>> No.41507706

>>41507642
Gunfire is definitely a sign we should be doing things. We head out into the gardens of Glamis. The encampment is in uproar as disorganized units try to form up. Others fire into the darkness in all directions. Someone has unlimbered the guns and a salvo of grapeshot shreds a row of entirely innocent rhodendrons.

We try to see where the enemy are or what is going on. The troops have no idea and their commanders are nowhere to be seen.

We try shouting for a ceasefire or for them to form up on us. Our words are lost in the chaos.

>> No.41507818

>>41507706
Well now I'm just imaging zombie rhododendrons.

>> No.41507853

>>41507706
We do have a bard however. He hops up on some ammunition crates and plays a ceasefire (which should be on the bugle but in britbongsteros it's a few bars of this) https://youtu.be/WLYT0NR8ZLc

As the troops begin to get in some kind of order forming up around us, we are able to piece together what's going on.

A returning patrol of the SBS had not been told that the password for the night would change at midnight (which is by the way a rather stupid idea - thanks George-bama) and the ordinary troops didn't actually know the time anyway. The argument that followed involved someone shouting
>Well we aren't the fucking undead!

Which was heard elsewhere as
>Undead!

Mix stupidity with scared and poorly trained soldiery and this happens.

>> No.41508017

>>41507818
>Triffids
Thank goodness the DM never stuck those in.

My God that would have been baaaaaad

>>41507853
Morale is now at an all time low (except for Donny who finds the situation hilarious) and we still have the feeling of being watched. Worst of all, we can be under no illusions that Baz does not know we are here.

In the darkness we can see a couple of ice blue points of light that are not stars. We know Coliunn is out there.

We do not fancy looking for him

We decide to retreat inside and get drunk. Leaving the mess for everyone else to tidy up.

>Coliunn
now we do know he was in Donnys house. Thing is, Donny had been away for a bit. Was he waiting for Donny to return? He has been nothing but hostile to Donny when they have interacted. We don't want to let on to Donny that what might be our potential ally is out there.

We also consider further what to do about Donny and his offer, as as soon as we break that empty bottle he is going to use the host of Bruce to do all sorts of nefarious stuff.

We do have a plan relating to that but we haven't told the DM propely what it is, nor have I told you all.

We have also worked out by this stage what happened to Portugal and why (apparently the wine isn't very nice)

>> No.41508099

>>41508017
>apparently the wine isn't very nice
200% Justified

>> No.41508161

>>41507853
For any historically minded anons, fuck up likes this are relatively common, the one /tg/ knows best I think is https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes

I have always liked the battle of algercias bay too.

>> No.41508167
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41508167

>>41508017
>apparently the wine isn't very nice

>> No.41508195

>>41508099
>>41508017
And here I thought it would've been because whoever fucked Donny and his wife over was originally from there.

>> No.41508309

>>41508017
Now with the fun of the evening over, the party take the sensible decision to retire to bed (something I shall also do in a few posts).

The morning brings with it the freshness of a new day. George has a hangover and attempts to rouse him before 10:30 prove fruitless.

The party become involved about then as blackadder requests our assistance.

George is still cosily in bed, for all of his murderous and admittedly flat out stupid tendencies we are rather struck that he has a small teddy bear with a detachable head and large fangs.

Blackadder looks moodily out of the window as George moans about his illness.

He ushers us into a sideroom.

>You want this attack to go well don't you?

Yes...

>it'd be better all round then if George didn't lead it don't you agree?

Yes....

>I'm going for a walk. If something unpleasant happened to George while I was away, an accident wherein he removed his own head with a button while getting dressed, I don't think anyone would raise too much fuss....

>> No.41508338

>>41508167
This is the thing about Donny, he's a horrible nasty person but you really can't dispute his methods or approach to problem solving.

>> No.41508351
File: 87 KB, 1152x460, Ottoman Vicotry.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41508351

>>41508161
Yes, I have the screencap.

The Russian fleet's escapades that end in the Battle of Tsushima are a personal favourite in that vein of military history.

Also wondering if the beers are being drunk by the Players, Characters or both?

>> No.41508482

>>41508309
With that, blackadder promptly buggers off. Likely to feed baldrick.

We are left with a dilemma.

>Kill 'im?
Kill 'im.

I didn't say it was much of a dilemma.

However we do think we don't want to make it too obvious, and we certainly think it would be waaaaaaaaay too convenient for Blackadder to have us blamed then killed.

We settle for a little diplomacy first.

We sweep back into Geroge's room.

>My Lord wonderous news! Your excellent plan worked! We have won the battle!

I have? I mean I have! Of course I have!

>Yes so no need to worry about doing anything

Wait wasn't the big fight today?

>No No yesterday my Lord

Oh, spiffing. Well done me. Take a few medals on your way out and send me up some lunch would you?

>> No.41508499

>>41508309
I think I'd be impressed on at least some level if the guy in charge managed to cut his own head off with a button.

That'd take a lot of determination.

>> No.41508502

>>41508351
Generally safe to assume both.

>> No.41508600

>>41508482
Blackadder seems a little dissatisfied that George isn't dead but is pleased enough with his defacto promotion. Only two hours behind schedule we set off and can expect to confront Baz about mid afternoon.

Excellent.

Except 80% of the troops are terrible, Baz knows we are coming and Baz is...Well he's Baz.

>> No.41508655

>>41508600
I haven't really talked about Baldrick in detail but as a reminder he is a large angry gorilla. Thats about it really. He has a little hat (turnip shaped) and very big knuckle dusters. Blackadder uses him to solve problems (or people) he doesn't like very much.

>> No.41508702

>>41508655
Aside from a passing mention of him being a gorilla much, MUCH later in the story, no, you have not talked much about him.

I didn't even know who these two were when your first mentioned them.

>> No.41508806

>>41508702
He doesn't play an enormous role overall but I do like filling in the blanks as we go.

>>41508600
All things considered, the army is in almost good spirits. Helped along no doubt by the fact George ordered (still thinking he was won the battle) all the troops be given a pint of rum. It may not help their accuracy but it does mean they are at least going to die happy.

The march to the camp is actually fairly simple and straightforward. We are a bit concerned by the plume of smoke that can be seen from Glamis not long after we leave. Its also interesting to note that Donny has been nowhere to be seen all day.

>> No.41508824

>>41508806
And their anons is where I will draw to a close a very weird day. Goodnight folks.

>> No.41508838

>>41508824
Oh ffs.

>there

>> No.41508992

>>41508806
You'd think Donny and George would have a lot in common.

>> No.41509059

Oh look, it's the unfunny, samefagging cancer.

>> No.41509091

>>41509059
You haven't shown up for months anon, I thought you had died.

>> No.41509238

>>41508992
I think you need to be more familiar with Blackadder (especially 3, seeing as that's the George/Blackadder we're dealing with)

Donny is much, much smarter than George.
He'd probably get on better with Blackadder (I think it's fair to say 3rd is the nastiest), only he seems a little more wilfully destructive

A short clip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01R_lP51Pw0

>> No.41509494

>>41509238
So was he really stealing George's socks?

>> No.41509862

>>41509494
Yes, he's that kind of guy.

>> No.41511930

>>41509862
How marvelously petty.

>> No.41512959

Blackadder bump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8uko3RU6h8

>> No.41513195

>>41512959
Makes you wonder what the side characters might've been up to during this campaign.

A sack of slutty French elf porn would probably be an interesting commodity.

>> No.41514677

Bump in the morning

>> No.41515725

>>41514677
And I'm bumping at 3am.

I should go to bed.

>> No.41515778

>>41515725
2 AM here, but I know the feeling.

Planning an all-nighter so i can sleep through the 6 hour car trip i have in the morning.

>> No.41516129

>>41509238
This anon gets it. Donny is...Well he doesn't really follow the same rules as everyone else. It was kind of fun having two BBEGs one of whom you couldn't help but like his style.

>>41509059
Hello grumpy anon. Did you ever seek help like we asked you to?

>>41515725
>>41515778
You two go to bed! (Says the guy who posts these because he has trouble sleeping)

>> No.41516223
File: 416 KB, 1807x1384, 1435449586733.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41516223

>>41508351
>The Russian fleet's escapades that end in the Battle of Tsushima

>> No.41516318

>>41516129
Bah! Sleep is for the weak!

Also once college starts back up in a month or so my schedule is going to be so terribly off, but that's not the point.

>> No.41517376

>>41509091
>hoped

Ftfy

>> No.41517946

Nudging this

>> No.41519717

>>41516129
I went to bed and now I'm awake and bumping this again.

>> No.41519846

Waiiit one fucking second

>>41507642
>Given it was apparently only really a
>> minor heart attack
>I'm still taking as much of tomorrow off as I can.
>> TLDR: storyfag continues posting to take mind off things


You WHAT?
>have heart attack
>fuck that shite, imma go on 4chan, got a story to tell

Aldous please tell me you're messing with us

>> No.41519878

>>41519846
>>41505198
>We've just had some rather bad news about a relative

Still pretty bad situation, but it's not "ignoring your own heart attack to post on 4chan"

>> No.41519997

>>41519878
Anon is correct. I'm hard-core and I do rather enjoy doing this but not that much.

>> No.41520057

>>41519997
>reading the whole thread is overrated
Ok, I am just dumb.

All the best to the person in question.

>> No.41521480

Bump during what would be lunch time here.

>> No.41522653

>>41520057
My thanks anon. It brought me the biggest smile today so I'm happy.

Also posting beginning nowish

>> No.41522788

>>41522653
4chan is not my blog but we made that cheese bread thing from a couple days ago. Holy fuck that stuff is good. So if any of you saw that. Try it.

>>41508806
Now what was I on about...

It's very quiet in the afternoon sun. We have approached the camp from the southeast and the sun is just over the camp.

On the brown and ill looking turf serried ranks of redcoated soldiers form a semblance of lines. The artillery train such as it is unlimber.

It's very quiet in the fort.

We do note however that someone seems to have fixed the wall (that we wrecked).

>> No.41522833

>>41522788
Horses shift uneasily in the heat. Fat iridescent blue bottles crawl over flickering eye lids and try to explore nostrils.

You could cut the hot, rising tension with a knife and parcel it up into small tasty treats to be sold at a bake sale.

>> No.41523013

>>41522833
https://youtu.be/JNG_Kn-m73M

We look along pasty faces of acne ridden teenagers. Old men with more years and less teeth than they should. Holding battered rifles and rusty bayonets. With powder that no one knows will work. Outnumbered in what to them is a strange land.

They don't know what lies behind those walls, and yet those men do not falter. They face the very physical reality of death, and they stand. Oblivious to the cosmic terrors of this world.

This is bravery. Or all that rum.

The fort remains silent. Brooding. Watching.

Blackadder sweeps down his sword and the tension boils over into a smashing crescendo of smoke and flame.

This is it.

>> No.41523081

>>41523013
As the smoke from the cannons fogs the field. We can hear roundshoot smash through wood and into the camp beyond. The party share a moment.

Ok lads. Do or die.

We know we could run. We know we owe no one here a damn thing. This is our mess though, and this is our choice.

We pass around a bottle. Smiling at each other. The glassy eyed half mad smile of men who know death is close.

>We stay, we fight. Maybe after all this we can make a difference. Maybe we could even live or in this sodden blood soaked isle. Have a death that means something.

>> No.41523140

>>41522788
I did see that cheese bread thread and it did look amazing.

>> No.41525015

Bumping.

>> No.41526439

>>41525015
dito

>> No.41527238

Well that took longer than I thought...

Anyway.

Onwards.

>>41523081
The cannons ceasefire long enough for the smoke to clear momentarily. There's more smoke than we think there should be. A lot more.

We can see the wall is down in several places. We can see movement within.

The sensible thing to do is let the cannons continue firing rather than advance and without George in command that's what we do.

There's definitely something going on in the fort but the cannons are badly positioned and gunsmoke blows across the lines. Thick and obscuring.

The volley of javelins takes the men by complete surprise. Unarmoured regulars falling before they even realise they're dead as skeletons loom.

The skeletons continue toward us, getting closer as the survivors try to respond to commands for volley fire.

>> No.41527601

>>41527238

We can see what's about to happen as the regulars get off an ineffectual volley. They need time. Time to regroup, time to form up and time to reload.

The party know what must be done, as do the armoured dwarves.

The bard squeezes his pipes.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXjtvGAGvYA

The dwarves know what must be done, and when the party charge, they follow our example. Gun and axe ready to buy time in blood.

It works. The Skeletons advance slows as they close ranks to meet the charge. Roman tactics not quite taking account of flamethrower, shotgun and dwarvish grenade and shot.

After the close range volley their ranks are in some dissarray. Bits of bone, shield and loricae segmenate zip through the air.

The infantry behind us get off another volley, then another, the cannons whip grapeshot into the flanks of the skeletons.

Our countercharge just might carry this.

Our focus shifts from what we can see of the overall battlefield to the enemy before us, the Navvie breaking shields, the wizard dashing iron bars into skeletons behind them.

There sure are a lot of skeletons. They pull down dwarves every moment, gladii lashing from behind the shieldwall.

From else where in the closing ranks of skeletons, a larger, horned figure can be seen. Clad now head to foot in armour. Only his antlers and the bone sticking from his chest indicating who he is, he leads a charge past us and the engaged dwarves on toward the rifleman.

Baz.


It takes us some time to fight our way out of our current predicament, leaving the dwarves still engaged. We can see Baz sweeping great clawed hands into the lines of the regulars, stoving in ribcages, ripping off heads, every rise and fall of his arms bringing death after death.

The lines of the regulars are already faltering as Blackadder leads his small cavalry unit into a charge against them.

It's time to put and end to this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLxKpe2c6fU

>> No.41527733

>>41527601
We advance fighting our way to Baz. We can see he's already a lot more powerful than the last time we faced him.

Baz realizes there's a push towards him.The still screaming body of an infantryman raised up before his face. Slowly peeling him like a grape he turns.

He sights us.

The great shoulders lower. A hand drops to the earth as he readies a charge, looking for all the world like the most terrifying centreforward you could imagine.

He starts as he recognizes us.

A memory of before makes him pause.

We don't wait for the emotional struggle of wills within him to take place.

We know he's a lot more and a lot less than he was.

We all hear the same voice in our heads, it offers different things, but it's definitely Baz. Money, women, women with lots of money, power, pies.

The party (with one rather successful role) simultaneously declaim what I think became in some fashion our battlecry.

>Oi. Fuck you.

>> No.41527835

>>41527733

He starts to charge and we run to meet him.

The tactics are the ones you're all no doubt familiar with by now, the Navvie races for him. The bard generally fucks about being useless, the wizard remains behind the Navvie flinging sharp objects, Angus and I on the flanks, shot and flame washing over the armoured hide of Baz.

We knew we were outmatched. We didn't know how badly.

The Navvie dodges a sweep of the claws, smashing his hammer down onto Baz's shoulder with enough force that his right arm now hangs loose.

The left smashes him aside.

The wizard is shoulderbarged as Baz makes for me.

I'm seized and tossed (nobody tosses a dwarf) near where the Navvie landed.

Angus however is having none of this.

He advances on Baz.

A bottle in both hands.

One empty, the other on its way to being so.

Baz aims a savage headbutt at him.

It connects, you can hear ribs crack.

Angus is knocked to the ground.

The Navvie and I are managing to help each other to our feet as Angus smashes the empty bottle on Baz's chest.

>> No.41527923

>>41527835
The host of Bruce appear, armour shining and swords singing.

Donny joins us.

>Hello lads.

The Host engage Baz, and now it's his turn to be outmatched.

Meanwhile the rest of the army are beginning to form up again.

The battle is flux, balanced on the horns of fate.

The Host of Bruce however make very short work of Baz, then turn on the skeletons.

The cheering of the regulars turns to horror as they turn on them.

Donny has asked nicely for, and received some of Angus's half empty bottle of whisky.

>Well boys, it's time to relax now, you've done more than enough for me.

Freed me, twice, and now summoned a lovely little unit of deathless soliders for me to conquer every hell I can think of with.

Once of course, they scour the land clean. I have to give them that.

Might as well sit back and watch the apocalypse lads.

>> No.41528062

>>41527923
Time to fuck over Donny?

>> No.41528114

>>41527923

The wizard sticks his hands in his pockets.

Donny, do you remember exactly what we said to the Host? What you asked us to say to them?

>Now now lads, don't try this game with me, you'll not win.

You asked us to ask them to follow you didn't we? Follow you until you brought them back? What we did not say, was for them to follow your commands. Just. You.

In the background the regulars break and run as the host gut a dozen men every second.

The wizard takes his hand from his pocket. The fragment of the Stone of Destiny sparks in the air.

The Host pause. Some in mid strike.

Somewhere a regular slides off the blade of one.

>Come on now....this isn't very funny....

I'm sure they can follow you Donny. The question is, how far, and how fast can you run?

The wizard can craft metal, the wizard has power over steel. Steel can be bound, and forged to the will of its maker. The wizards plan is not complicated, the shard of the stone, bound by layers of battered steel. Enough to channel the magic of the world, enough that as he punches the shard into Donny's chest, and the barbs on the stone dig in, enough that Donny realises that finally, we have screwed someone over.


The Host turn as one.

Chase. Him. Down.

>> No.41528205

>>41528114

We look out over the battlefield.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE7ONvyXxm4

Baz is dead. As are hundreds of troopers.

Donny may, one day, in a thousand years or tomorrow, get free, but that's a problem for another day, another time, and maybe even another world.

We collapse onto the body strewn field.

We did it.

Somehow.

We're alive.

The country is still teetering on the brink of totally fucked, but we, are alive.

We discover later that while we were fucking about in Dundee, the undead launched an invasion into the North of England. Necromancers and more alchemsists than ever seen on these shores.

Our new destination, Blackadder later decides as we manage some small respite aboard the HMS Dreadnowt (yes that one) is the North.

The Alchemists have repeeating rifles, and we for one, will need those for the country, England expects, Scotland knows we have already begun to discharge our duty.

>> No.41528228

>>41528205

Well there we go anons.

The tale is done.

It's been fun, each and every one of you, those from the beginning and those who came later, it has been my pleasure to share this with you, and I thank you for listening.

I shall, for now, lay the namefag to rest.

>> No.41528258

>>41528228
Well, it's been a hell of a ride mate. I just want to thank you for sharing the story.

>> No.41528307

>>41528228
Yeah, I'll see you on the wiki later.

And I still have questions since you say Baz is dead yet
>The undead are lead by a Necromancer. One we've met before.
when they were butchering the Navvie's village leads me to believe there's still a gap between here and where you first started telling this at.

>> No.41528374

>>41528307
And namefag back on. I suppose we need to go into a bit more detail on the campaign in the North but that will be tomorrow.

>> No.41528403

>>41528374
Yep, I just keep dragging you back in.

>> No.41528415

>>41528374
Wooo more story!

You really are a good storyteller.

>> No.41528597

>>41482852
What happened to the tree?

>> No.41528679

>>41528597
Lightning, i would guess.

>> No.41528702

>>41482852
hah, hit by lightning which I understand causes the water in the thing to turn to steam and then it sort of explodes.

>>41528403
Oh I don't mind, wouldn't do it if it wasn't fun.


>One more story please anon...

>> No.41528715

>>41508338
Is this because complaining about his methods constitutes a problem, whereupon he applies his method to this new problem?

>> No.41528922
File: 2.10 MB, 718x404, cNSKoD8.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41528922

>>41528715
Pretty much.

Right anons. Tomorrow is a busy day so I'm off to bed. If I appear tomorrow it will be later in the evening. I'll try and keep you all posted.

>> No.41529075

>>41528922
And there's also the issue of how George bit the big one.

I'd be surprised if he died because of something unrelated to the party's actions.

>> No.41529949

>>41527601
Was the 1st video the Trooper as well?
Link doesn't seem to work

>>41528374
Awesome

>> No.41530159

>>41527733

I have enjoyed all of this so far but I really like this for some reason

>Money, women, women with lots of money, power, pies.
>pies

>> No.41530262

>>41529949
First one is manowar, die for metal.

>> No.41531159

>>41530262
Thanks

>> No.41532008

>>41528702
And as I'm updating the wiki page it hits me that the issue of Coliunn had not been resolved.

Did he just bug off to chase after Donny and that was the last of him?

>> No.41533162

>>41532008
I thought he got killed by that tentacle thing on the bridge?

I read through the rest of it at about 4AM last night so i could be a bit fuzzy on the details.

>> No.41534146

>>41533162
In this thread he was talking about how they could see his eyes watching them at night before the march.

>> No.41534298

>>41534146
Fair enough.
I assumed you were wondering in general, I completely forgot it was even mentioned ITT.

>> No.41536819

bump

>> No.41537206

I'll give it a bump before bed even though it's not that far down and it's more for my peace of mind than anything.

>> No.41539535

>>41522788
>if any of you saw that
meat bread? I am ashamed to say I derailed the heck out of that thread...

>ironic captcha is ironic

>> No.41540036

Hell of a story, thank you for telling it.

>From the frozen, mysterious land of Fuck Knows.

>> No.41541057
File: 669 KB, 1306x1012, 1429547135216.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41541057

Right anons.

Here is what I propose, we let this one die, then either this weekend or next depending on real life etc, I will start another thread which will be the last, last one.

Sound good?

>> No.41541071
File: 796 KB, 1600x1260, 1803northamericabg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
41541071

>>41540036
Also, hello Alaska anon.

>> No.41543770

bamp

>> No.41544457 [DELETED] 

>>41541071
So, is it worth keeping this thread around still? Do we hava any hope of Aldous returning in a somewhat timely manner?

>> No.41544689

>>41544457
>>41543770
Guys, I don't think you read >>41541057

>> No.41546844

>>41544689
Well (not that guy) I'm gonna bump it for posterity.

>>
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