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[ERROR] No.41210905 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Sorry for poor quality pic.

If you could follow one 40k chaos god, who would it be?

>> No.41210992

>>41210905
>Slaanesh
I think you mean Bob, the friendly god of spiders. Slaanesh is dead

>> No.41211047

>>41210905
Slaanesh. I'm an artist, his blessings would benefit me the most.

>>41210992
OP said 40k Chaos, not Shitmar

>> No.41211103

>>41211047
It's only a matter of time, cuckboi.

>> No.41211130

>>41210905
Gork and Mork since I'm not some edgy pussy who listens to Linkin Park and as many daddy issues as I have spikes on my armor or some pretentious faggot thinks himself depraved because he spanked it to a dickgirl once.

>> No.41211184

Tzeentch

Since he would be the only god that wouldn't REQUIRE me to horribly mutilate people and/ or get mutilated in the process. Also the pursuit of knowledge in general gives me quite a lot of options.

I'll just spend my days being a spooky librarian with an extra bird claw-arm to help hold a lantern while I decipher and copy the ancient texts of xeno civilizations.

>> No.41211268

>>41211184
Until he plays with your mind like silly putty and makes you forget everything about yourself the more knowledge you accrue until you become nothing more than a living (if your mindless, soulless husk can even be called alive at this point) book in his library: all knowing, but unable to act on any of your knowledge

>> No.41211466

>>41211268
>I won't have PAIN implants in my brain
>I won't get off on fucking eye sockets
>I won't choke people with the maggot infested intestines dangling out of my ass
>I won't get my eye sockets fucked while i am still conscious
>No one is trying to give me space-AIDS
>I am not expected to advance into a most literal storm of lasers and artillery "for the blood-god"

JUST DO IT

>> No.41211501

>>41211466
Enjoy being horrifically sacrificed as a pawn in some convoluted plot-for-the-sole-purpose-of-plotting, then.

>> No.41211522

>>41211466
I'm sure the Rubric Marines felt the same way

>> No.41211624

>>41211501
>implying getting caught wasn't part of my plan

Everything will go just according to keikaku

>> No.41211634

>>41211624
Was your keikaku crashing this plane with no survivors?

>> No.41211666

>>41211624
If I ripped off your third chaos-arm, would you die?

>> No.41211706

>>41211522
ahriman's rubric was explicitly designed as a fuck-you to the potentials of mutation

Tzeentch is by far the most reasonable of the chaos gods, especially when it comes to just living a (normal-ish) life in the fucked mess that is 40k

OP: Undivided all the way, hipsters might say Malal so they can rip and tear all they want

>> No.41211823

>>41211466
>I will be forced to witness things mortal minds were not built to comprehend
>I will come to distrust all my peers, for they all plot against me
>I will come to distrust my own eyes, for the sights they show me are but lies built on lies
>I will similarly distrust all other senses as they are even more treacherous than my own eyes
>I will watch all my plans, no matter how small, end in ash and ruin as my god uses me like a pawn to advance some greater scheme. Or just because he's a dick
>I will slowly be warped and twisted not just in body, but in mind as dark things tug at my soul until not even the ghost of sanity's memory remains
>I will babble like an imbecile, trying desperately to make sense of my own words because there was meaning there once. Once.
You want to know what a Tzeenchi cultist would be like? Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWaFqw8XnpA. You'll be an insane gibbering mess flinging bolts for reasons you can't even explain like some kinda grimdark Ice King.

God, I hate you "every Chaos god is a douchebag, except the one I like he's total epicwin awesomesaws bro among bros :3c" faggots

>> No.41211888

>>41211823
Some people just prefer mental torment far over physical torment and horrific mutations I suppose.

>> No.41211892

>>41211823
>I will slowly be warped and twisted not just in body, but in mind as dark things tug at my soul until not even the ghost of sanity's memory remains
Slaaneshi here, that actually sounds pretty awesome, can I join?

>> No.41211961

>>41211823
>implying I wouldn't be a allowing people to use me to get the better of them
>implying I have anyone to trust anymore anyway
>implying I don't want to loose my mind if I was in a 40k chaos cult for the sheer amount of hopelessness.

I would much rather not be me anymore than allow myself to see my own corruption,

>> No.41212050

>>41211823
Woah Woah Woah, getting a little cranially heated there friend.

I NEVER said Tzeentch was a bro. But if I had to pick it would indeed be him, since being hopelessly insane compared to being fully aware of the hell your life becomes is a much better option.

>>41211888
That's quite the way to put it, Khorne

>> No.41212051

>>41211961
>I would much rather not be me anymore than allow myself to see my own corruption,
Then Tzeench will leave just enough of you around to see your own fall. Hes kind of a dick like that.
>>41211892
Go away Slaaneshi, your god is dead

>> No.41212067

>>41210905
>that image

>> No.41212073

>>41211888
>Some people just prefer mental torment far over physical torment and horrific mutations I suppose.
Good thing with Tzeench you get both.

>> No.41212079

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>> No.41212120

>>41210905

I'm pretty sure I already count as a Nurgle worshiper anyway.

>> No.41212125

>>41211666
It would be extremely heretical

>> No.41212133

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

>> No.41212134

>>41212125
FOR THE EMPEROR

>> No.41212229

>>41210905
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yOTsMHTwshg
>anything but Khorne

>> No.41212243

>>41210905
>ANT PICTURES FOR THE ANT GOD

I'd probably follow Slaanesh or Khorne. I don't fall under either of them since I have a leash on my vices and my anger issues. About 4 years ago it would have been Khorne all the way.

>> No.41212819

Slaanesh is probably right out. The trouble with eternity is it tends to go on forever, and based on the track record of the cultists, shit gets real old real fast. That's like signing up for one of those addictions where the high is amazing for a couple of days and then you have forty years of various horrible side-effects to pay for something you barely even remember.

Khorne's service would probably be unpleasant, but it'd be short and I'd probably be too angry to care.

Tzeentch...best-case scenario I get killed as a part of a plan that is designed to counter itself to advance three others, none of which have any significant endgame but making that omniscient fuck a little less bored for a few minutes. Worst case scenarios, I'm not even going to go into.

Which I guess leaves Nurgle. On the immediate minus side, it's going to be fat and smelly and gross, forever. On the plus side, the horrible slimy monster thingies are like big friendly dogs when you get to know them and Nurgle likes you better than the other three. It's not ideal, but I'll take it.

>> No.41212852

>>41210905
Khorne doesn't give a fuck about you and won't give you immortal afterlife, unless you're the sort of one-in-a-billion badass motherfucker who would be played by Jason Statham in a movie of your life. Otherwise: fuck you pleb, into oblivion and eaten by daemons

Slaanesh doesn't give a fuck about you and won't give you immortal afterlife, unless you're the sort of one-in-a-billion sex-machine badasses who would make Sid Vicious jealous of your excess, and be modeled by Fabio on the cover of the book of your life. Otherwise: fuck you pleb, into oblivion and eaten by daemons.

Tzeench doesn't give a fuck about you and won't give you immortal afterlife. unless you're the sort of one-in-a-billion Machiavellian manipulator who can become president of the world and CEO of its largest corporation, all while secretly becoming the world's sorcerer supreme. Otherwise: fuck you pleb, into oblivion and eaten by daemons

Nurgle loves you. Nurgle loves everyone and everything: from the smallest bacteria, to the largest space-leviathan. He offers you an eternity free from suffering, whether pleb or one-in-a-billion, and all he asks in return is that you share his love with the universe. Even the lowliest of his servants is reborn as plaguebearers unless they actively betray him. He's fucking Buddah meets Laozi meets Jesus; you're just grossed out by him because he shares his love with forms of life that your inferior not-infinite love can't yet contain.

Nurgle.

>> No.41212884

Why doesn't Tzeentch just outmaneuver the other Chaos gods to victory with his infinite schemes and limitless knowledge?

Or does he just have more fun playing the Great Game than he would have winning it?

>> No.41212988

>>41212884
The second thing you imperial fool.

Who cares about such things as final victory if you can just keep having fun.
It's like playing a Foosball game without counting points, but relishing every time you score a goal because you can see the opponent across from you react to their defeat.

>> No.41213067

>>41212884
Khorne and Slaanesh are fighting for the short term. One wants pleasure and excess RIGHT NOW, and the other wants blood, honor, and death RIGHT NOW. Tzeench doesn't min allying with them, because he's happy giving temporary concessions for long term game.

Tzeench and Nurgle are in competition for the LONG GAME. On the one hand, Nurgle IS the end, he is entropy, and he is the heat-death of the universe. In the end, it's all but inevitable that stagnation, numbness, and death will win out in the long run. It's all but impossible to beat Nurgle in the long game, but "all but impossible" is well within the grasp of Tzeench's "just as planed" shenanigans.

It's like" Nurgle has the largest army in the world, and there's no concievable way of stopping him eventually conquering the world when he finally gets to invade, and Tzeench has a small band of 10 soldiers, lead by Ender.

>> No.41213138

>>41212819
>Slaanesh is probably right out. The trouble with eternity is it tends to go on forever, and based on the track record of the cultists, shit gets real old real fast. That's like signing up for one of those addictions where the high is amazing for a couple of days and then you have forty years of various horrible side-effects to pay for something you barely even remember.

So you're saying I already worship Slaanesh?

>> No.41213192

>>41213138

Imagine that times a million billion and you probably have a good idea whether you do or not.

>> No.41213552

Tzeench, for that one glorious moment where you're holding the all the cards and have all the power, before he pulls the rug out from under you for the lulz and everything goes to shit

>> No.41213675

>>41210905
slaanesh.
I like going fast, listening to loud music, drugs are fun, sex is alright, all at once is pretty cool mkay.

and I want to shove 50 roman candles up my enemy's ass and light them all at once.

>> No.41213900

>>41213067
Your headcannon is retarded as fuck dude, Khorne could murder the fuck out of the tranny or the birdfaggot whenever the fuck he wants, all of the god realize the great game is necessary and they never throw their 100% at rival chaos gods.

>> No.41213970

Selfish indulgences are my thing, so I would throw my lot in with the Prince of Excess.

>> No.41214308

>>41213900
>headcannon
Slaanesh vs Khorne and Tzeench vs Nurgle rivalry have been canon since they started having a canon at all because they started writing the books in omniscient narrator. You think it's a coincidence that the two powers that are "powerful but too short sighted to win" are bitter rivals, and that the two powers that can be described as "inevitably going to win.... eventually... WAY down the line," are bitter rivals?

All the hand-holdey "chaos undevided gets along, and there are no more binary rivalries" that came around with the WHFB7th ed chaos book is silly. You can't have a Slaaneshi lord leading a unit of Khorne Warriors with any sense of reasonability.

>> No.41214333

>>41210905
Slaanesh. I love new experiences in all their forms. Whether it be new kinds of food, music, sensations. God, when I got my tattoo... A sensation I am eager to feel again. New knowledge. Really anything.

Between that and the pursuit of physical perfection. Yeah, Slaanesh is for me.

Finesse fighting is more my style as well.

>> No.41214381

>>41213900
Is right >>41214308, but for the wrong reason.

The universe might end if one of the Gods gets destroyed.

>> No.41214499

>>41210905
In this order:
Tzeentch
Nurgle
Slannesh
Undivided
Malal
Khorne

Because
>I personally value knowledge, which tzerntch bestows upon his followers, andi like thinking, planning, and intellectual pursuits. Also tzeentch is the only one whose marines and cultists have an aesthetic that I like: clean, blue with gold trim, not fucking spikey, competitively simple.
>I like closeness and friendlyness, and would be very receptive to the fatherly actions of nurgleoid actors. Also never having to worry about pain or disease again doesn't hurt
>I am also into art, both creating and consuming it, and have been known to take some of my vices in excess (particularly eating)
>it's most of the good and none if the bad, in theory at least. Also it isn't khorne.
>he isn't khorne, and wants to kill khorne.
>fuck khorne and his ugly ass followers

>> No.41214518

>>41214308
Slany is no match for Khorne at all though, it is by far the weakest, partly because it is the youngest of the chaos gods, and mostly because there isn't enough debauchery in the universe to scale slanys power to that of the other gods.

There is no competition between the two at all, in fact, none of the other gods come close to Khorne at all because he is fueled by war, and we all know that in the grim darkness of the far future, that's the only thing there is.

>> No.41214674

>>41210905
THERE IS BUT ONE GOD, AND ONE FATE THAT MATTERS, FOR IT IS THE MANIFEST DESTINY OF HUMANITY AS PROCLAIMED BY THE EMPEROR. I CAN NOT FOLLOW THE FALSE DAEMONS OF CHAOS, FOR I KNOW LOYALTY AND HONOR. AVAUNT THEE!

>> No.41214787

>>41214518
Excess isn't simply debauchery. Excess of hate, excess of love, excess of violence. It matters not to Slaanesh, so long as there is no moderation.

Change is the only real goal of Tzeentch, he cares not from whence it comes or to what end, so long as it is Change. That is why his schemes always succeed, because they always work against each-other. His scheming has no goal save to change things.

The reason the Chaos Gods can't win against one another is because they feed into one another and destroy one another all in one go.
For example, in a single battle, Khorne takes delight in the Blood and Violence, Slaanesh in the extremes of Sound and Emotion, Tzeentch in the Ebb and Flow of the fates of combatants, and Nurgle in the Death and Stagnation that follows. In the space of a single combatant's death, Khorne delights in the spilling of their blood, Slaanesh in the pain and the ecstasy of dying, Tzeentch in the change from Life to Death, and Nurgle in the End.

>> No.41215069

>>41214333
You said it, brother. Though I prefer my fighting to be wild, adrenaline-fueled recklessness.

>> No.41215695

>>41214308
Its also canon that Khorne can kill Slaanesh whenever he wants and end the Great Game, he just chooses not to since that would be giving Slaanesh exactly what he wants.

>> No.41215709

>>41214333
>Slaanesh
Dead
>>41215069
>Doomrider
Also dead

>> No.41215814

Khorne!!!!'

>> No.41216574

The only answer is Khorne.

direct and to the point.

All the other gods are clingy as fuck. Making you live in their service, corrupting you slowly.

Khorne obviously and blatantly doesn't care about any of his followers.

You are a means to slaughter a skull to be claimed and nothing more.

I can dig that honesty. Plus being a chaos faggot would be terrible and with Khorne it would be over in less than an hour.

>> No.41216748

>>41210905
Tzeentch.

I'm a scientist, I want more smarts.

>> No.41216970

>>41211184
Well when you put it like that. Slannesh.

>> No.41217145

Slaanesh

>> No.41217283

>>41210905
Nurgle since his followers are happy, they might be rotten and diseased and gross but it doesn't hurt them and they actually find great pleasure in it and think its brilliant, every other god has huge drawbacks (Khorne less so)

>> No.41217323

>>41217283
Every chaos god is shit, also nurgle is a shitcunt, some guy tried for 10000 years to get the fuckers attention.

They all fuck you hard, khorne probably the most so because you lose your mind hard.

>> No.41217335

>>41213067
>and Tzeench has a small band of 10 soldiers, lead by Ender.

That's an odd way of spelling 20 good men

>> No.41217430

Nurgle loves me, so Nurgle

>> No.41217451

>>41217430
Shut up Yuren Kelk.

>> No.41217869

1. Slaanesh
2. Nurgle or Tzeentch
4. Khorne

Khorne is pretty much out of the loop for me and only there for completeness' sake

>> No.41219013

>>41215695
This anon is the only one who gets it, in canon literally all Khorne has to do is draw his sword and swing it one time to end the great game.

>> No.41219377

>>41212852
laughed harder than i probably should

>> No.41219696

>>41210905
Papa Nurgle, Lord of Decay!

>> No.41219922

>>41210905
If I was forced to follow a Chaos God? Malal. Get to be a badass motherfucker with the sole purpose of fucking up other chaos followers/Daemons? Sign me up.

>> No.41220057

>>41210905
It's a tie between Tzeench and Slaanesh.

Slaanesh because I already get my rocks off on the mixture between pleasure and pain and power exchange anyhow.
Tzeench because I do science for a living, dabble in occult shit, philosophy and art.

>> No.41220613

>>41220057
uh, you must be me. Spent my childhood loving physics and math, then went onto writing fiction and poetry for a few years, then was a soundman and musician. Now I'm back in university studying physics and math. What do you do/study in science?

I get the whole pain can be pleasure thing too.

>> No.41221198

Definitely Slaanesh, selfish indulgence, creativity, tons of substances, sex, and the drive for perfection. So much excess. Go faster, go harder, do more, do anything, do everything.

I need to go run, or hit something.

>> No.41221233

>>41220613
>science
keeping it broad, but: pharmacy.

Did you manage to earn a living writing fiction and poetry or was that just a hobby?
Anyhow, kudos for change. I don't get how people can do the same thing their entire lives.

that also applies to sex actually

>> No.41221756

>>41221233
variety is the spice of life in bed

Still want to gather up my poetry and publish, I have written enough good stuff that I'm sure I can sell it. Stories were practice mainly. Music I made money on, but mostly a soundman.

so...'pharmacy' yup, definitely a Slaanesh worshiper here!

>> No.41222356

>>41211823
>so who am I gonna call? I'm gonna call Ghost Busters

Fuck, this man has some serious problems but I can't help but laugh. Now I feel like an asshole.

>> No.41222527

>>41210905
Khorne, fucking shit up would be nice. Also the best war cries.

>> No.41222573

>>41210905
Slaanesh.
i'll make a goal of putting my dick into every woman of the 41st millenium.

>> No.41222690

>>41210905
>implying I don't already

Tzeentch's "gifts" are unreliable, and screw their users more often than not. Power at that price isn't worth it.
Nurgle gets some small hold on me through depression/ acceptance and platonic love for my friends, but as much as I like powers themed around the life/death cycle I'm not into plague. Rot and Nurglings are fine, but no way am I a mono-Nurgle guy.
Khorne is too hard to get away with worshipping in a modern-day society. The rush of combat is joy, but one can't expect to shed blood daily, and while He cares not from whence it flows, I think Khorne would be bored with methodically planned and executed serial murder.

That leaves the Prince of Excess. I obsess over finding the perfect organization system for my bookshelves, spend more time on /d/ than any sane person should, and constantly seek new experiences. Ave Slaanesh.

If I can't follow the Eightfold Path, anyway.

>> No.41222734

>>41211047
Tzeench is interested in artists too but he's a dick

>> No.41223200

>>41212852
>fuck you pleb, into oblivion and eaten by daemons
And how is that different from serving the Emperor? At least Chaos gives you a chance to strive for something more.

>> No.41223242

Even if I could I wouldn't.
I would also never follow any other being that is a parasite.
Yeah, fuck you.

>> No.41223353

>>41210905
Close tie between Slaneesh and Khorne.

But yeah, I'd probably end up as a slaneeshi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7AC5M7F4ys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N-FqHvr7OY

>> No.41223957

PRAISE BE UNTO THE DUALITY, THE SNAKE, THE DARK PRINCE!

SHE WHO THIRSTS MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR MAN TO PERCEIVE MORE THAN WHAT HIS BODY AND MIND HAVE BEEN GIVEN FROM BIRTH.

ONLY THROUGH STEPPING OVER YOUR BOUNDARIES CAN YOU SET NEW ONES. ONLY THROUGH EXCESS CAN NEW STRENGTH BE GAINED! ONLY THROUGH EXPOSURE CAN NEW WISDOM BE ACQUIRED!

WHAT GOOD IS A SCHEME IF YOU CANNOT FATHOM ITS DEPTH BECAUSE YOUR MIND IS TOO SMALL?

WHAT GAIN IS TO BE HAD FROM COMBAT IF NOT FOR THE RUSH OF FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE?

WHAT JOY IS TO BE HAD FROM PESTILENCE WHEN YOU GROW TOO NUMB TO THE FEVER?

ONLY SLAANESH, DARK PRINCE OF EXCESS, WILL MAKE HUMANITY WHOLE!

PRAISE BE THE DUALITY, THE SNAKE, THE DARK PRINCE! PRAISE BE SLAANESH!

>> No.41223965

>>41213675
>>41214333
>>41215069
>>41223353
>>41211892
>>41212243
My niggas.
https://youtu.be/XG8k4IYIgvo

>> No.41224545

>>41221756
>pharmacy
Hey, truly, I had not thought about how my field of work could totally please Slaanesh. New drugs. Unlimited amounts. Excess and shit.

Well, I guess that settles my allegiance then.

>> No.41224609

>>41223200
>>41223200
>fuck you pleb, into oblivion and eaten by daemons
>And how is that different from serving the Emperor? At least Chaos gives you a chance to strive for something more.
It's not, literally the only one who's even a little better to serve is Nurgle. Nurgle is the only safe choice if you actually have the information (which most imperial citizens don't.)

>> No.41226794

>>41217451
Dude what. He wasn't me. I'm here now though.

Also, you shut up and let me do a couple missions today!

>> No.41227349

>>41210905
Horned rat

>> No.41228806

>>41212852
>>41217430
>>41219696
Enjoy an eternity suffering of space AIDS but never getting to die.

>> No.41229083

>>41210905
Tzeentech is awesome. Literally the lord of free choice. How could you not love that?

>>
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