[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

2017/01/28: An issue regarding the front page of /jp/ has been fixed. Also, thanks to all who contacted us about sponsorship.

/tg/ - Traditional Games

View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
File: 73 KB, 800x600, opus.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
40477180 No.40477180 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Hi /tg/ we have not had one of these in a while but I have (some) time this week to continue telling tales of Britbongsteros if /tg/ would like me to.

>Wut is Britbongsteros?
It's a homebrew setting our DM (with some help from me) devised. We played a lot in it and I've been telling stories of our adventures for a little while now.
If you are a newfriend, you literally don't need to know anything about anything or have read any of the previous threads, but there is a wiki curated by an awesome anon.


That includes some general details about the setting.

>> No.40477229

Now because I'm telling these tales by accident, we started later in the adventures than the chronological beginning. If you will, we have already heard episodes 3-10 but not episodes 1-3. So we have gone back to the start. We are currently in the middle of episode one.

If this is confusing, just enjoy the ride.

The party are composed of five players these are:

Angus: an orc, enjoys pyromania, animal lover and flower arrangements.

The bard: a human, plays the bagpipes. Is generally a source of stupid (ly brilliant) ideas.

The wizard: a wizard (no shit). Controls metal and is generally fairly quiet. Source of brilliant(ly stupid) ideas.

The Navvie: a large angry human. He has a hammer. He hits things with it.

Aldous: A dwarven knight, also me.

There was a sixth player later but she hadn't actually joined in yet.

>> No.40477276

What happened last time?

>a great big God fell out of the sky (Baz)
>We fought some Roman legionarry skeletons in Dundee.
>our God got nicked by a necromancer
>we were strongarmed into serving the crown
>we are currently on a mission to get Baz back, we got a bit sidetracked and our currently in a very large fight with various things called Powries (Scottish mythology. Think angry stabby dwarves)

>> No.40477484

We are currently in a wooden barn, it's night, it's raining heavily. We are very low level and not amazingly useful.

The cunning plan had been to hide in the hayloft. It seemed to be working, then regrettably, we realised our friendly peasant who had let us stay in the barn, had also sold us the fuck out.

Now the barn is very healthily ablaze and we are nearly surrounded by crazy angry midgets.

Taking our inspiration from Ghandhi as to how to deal with this we....

No of course we don't. We shoot them.

>> No.40477563

Fun powrie fact. Outrunning a Powrie is (according to mythology and therefore our rules) impossible.

We need to kill each and every one or we will have mad red hatted tribesmen jumping out of bushes as we stumble around the countryside.

The bard as always is useless. The wizard summons and chucks sharp implements about. The Navvie (surprise) has taken rather well to combat, and remember this is the first time we are spilling actual blood as opposed to battering skeletons.

Angus is finding the whole situation troubling.

>> No.40477647

As a reminder, Angus's backstory is he is a shop keeper. Thats it. Turning living beings into pillars of fire is a new experience for him, and not one he enjoys.

The Navvie reminds him that if they kill us, they will eat us.

That seems to help, but what really assists, is Angus getting a pike through the shoulder.

He then utters the immortal word of vengeance.


>> No.40477749

Reaching into his bag of tricks and coming up Molotov has a fistful of each.

Now a little note about our DM, you may sometimes get told if you're doing something stupid. Sometimes.

Angus's attempt at (with some rope) making a flail of molotovs does not work. He sets both of his feet on fire, along with launching flame bottles scattering across the barn.

Miraculously none of us are set alight, but it does provide quite the distraction, allowing us to beat down the rest of the Powries.

>> No.40477837

Just checking, I may have mistimed this one, any anons following?

With the Powries removed, we decide the best thing to do is get out of the barn. It collapses appropriately dramatically as we do so.

We debate having a further chat with the old woman who sold us out. We decide probably best to play it softly softly as we would quite like to stay in her cottage (it being night and raining torrentially) on the other hand, that fire is going to attract every kind of ne'er do well for miles

>> No.40477903

I just found it and am following.

>> No.40477931

We decide it's worth the risk (we don't want the DM to consider giving us pneumonia) the old woman is actually surprisingly grateful that we "got rid of the Powries"

We are only going to be nice back if we can check her pantry.

(The Powries had been bringing her human shaped things)

She dislikes this idea.

The wizard is able to sense the magical build up and attempt to shove the navvie out of the way of unpleasant looking ball of dark energy.

Shortly afterwards we add one granny to our kill count.

Shortly after that, we are reminded (we love you DM) that we are her soup.

Which a check of the pantry confirms was not kosher.

>> No.40477983

I hope anon never faces this situation.

You've got tasty delicious possibly human in your belly.

>the DM pops his first beer

"Well chaps who's going to puke first? As a reminder this was your first hot meal in a while and it was a little time and one combat ago..."

Angus decided that actually he's an orc so he can really can't be a cannibal anyway.

The rest of us take a different approach.

>laughter occurs from the sofa.

>> No.40478020

We bed down, feeling oddly disgusted with our selves and our murderhobo conduct.

Consider: we turned up, killed everyone, burnt down the barn, killed an old lady, then were sick in her garden.

>we're proper adventurers now

>> No.40478132

Now that that clusterfuck of a random encounter is dealt with, we meet the morning new and fresh. Ready to greet the new day and march onwards to Baz, glory and not being killed by our own monarch, while probably being killed by skeletons.


We don't move as fast as we would like (having about twenty more miles to traverse) but we get through daylight without much issue. Our pace is slow as we start to come into necromancer territory - I.E. nearing battledykes

N.b. you can follow along on Google maps when places get mentioned

>> No.40478259

Also hello and welcome Anon.

What does necromancer territory mean exactly?

Well it's not quite as weird as you might expect. The gardens and fields are overgrown, the kirkyards and cemeteries lack occupants.

The land itself is still green and verdant, there are no creepy Halloween things, it's just very, very quiet.

Thinking we can't be far from our objective, and that we are not attacking a necromancer and his minions in the dark. We make the decision to bed down someplace.

We decide on a good sized farmhouse near Lunanhead.

I take the first watch.

>> No.40478317

will take a long time to read, but from what I've seen already, it's definitively stolen

>> No.40478331

We do not light any fires because muh stealthy.

The moon up and I'm just thinking of waking Angus when I see movement on the road below.

Lots and lots of movement.

Ranks of skeletons march past, followed by war machines, undead giants (who come from Stirling - that is relevant later) but the skeletons are not the Roman ones we are used to.

I wake the rest of the party.

The wizard. Then Angus. The Navvie. Then Angus. Then the bard.

Wait a second....

>> No.40478364

We counted up the words a few threads back, I sort of ended up accidentally writing /tg/ a novel.

>> No.40478419

fuck you, it's a fucking masterpiece, only slightly less good than Henderson's

>> No.40478422

In the hushed darkness. There's definitely me and five other shapes. That is a bad number.

I should add, the DM has mentioned the extra human shaped shape to me via note, he's still describing the army marching past to everyone else.

Ok. So. If I give the alarm we could end up summoning the army. We also don't know what the extra body is, or even who it is.

>> No.40478549

The Navvie is easy, even in the darkness you can just tell it's him.

Angus you can tell by smell.

I know I'm me.

The bard, wizard and....thing?

On the other hand are all very similar silhouettes.

I can't just say "one of you is an impostor" I also can't start shooting, Angus is quite sharp when he wants to be though.

He rolls perception.

Then goes full retard.

"Something doesn't smell right here....." He grabs the....
The bard.

The shape knows it's been rumbled.

>> No.40478592

I like you, you can stay.

Also this is the second captcha where one of the cakes has had my actual (first) name on it. This is getting weird.

>> No.40478746

What is the shape?

Thats a remarkably good question.

Our first thought however is not to worry about that. Instead we dogpile to prevent whatever it is from escaping.

(Its funny having told some of the later tales already for anon, that the party feel like complete and utter noobs here)

>> No.40478829

If anon has ever played any contact sports you know that if you leap at someone, you're braced for the impact. So it comes as quite a surprise when you miss or meet no resistance at all.

Why is that?

Because it's a ghost.

>> No.40478967

This is our first ghost we have had anything to do with.

As the shape switches from floaty bard to floaty Angus to floaty wizard, we start to wonder if it might not be harmful.

We lie in a pile on the floor.

The ghost is silent. It waves it's arms about. It may in fact be harmless?

We aren't sure.

It is at the very least, silent, and we can hear things marching past outside, so should be relieved by that.

>> No.40479038

The undead of britbongsteros I have discussed a few times already but ghosts occupy a rare and unusual position. Can someone be a zombie and a ghost? No. But if say for example as happened to a recently deceased person who was posessed or taken over by (for example) a banshee, then that person has to go someplace.

Then we get ghost.

However just because it used to be a person, does not make it smart.

However it seems to be waving in the direction of a specific bit of floor

>> No.40479104

I really must not do these when tired. My typos are egregious tonight.

We lift a rather mouldy rug and see a trapdoor.


Of course common sense prevails eventually. Why is it so keen for us to go down there? None of the characters may have ever seen a horror movie but we do share at least the one communal brain cell.

>> No.40479126


The wizard, Angus and I descend into the darkness of the cellar. The bard and Navvie (not a fan of confined spaces) wait up top.

>> No.40479226

By the light of Angus's pilot light we can see its a bit more than the standard cellar. There is also a body on the ground. Chained out so it's spread-eagled. We think this is what our ghost might have belonged to.

>> No.40479306

The body is so old you couldn't tell what the ghost was in life, nor do we think it can remember. Which is rather sad when. you think about it.

We decide the right thing to do is try to put the thing to rest.

Maybe whatever originally possessed it has gone? It's just a husk and therefore....We have no idea.

Angus suggests just torching it. The wizard seems to think removing the chains is a good idea.

The Navvie (in what is for him a whisper) asks from the top of the stairs what's taking so long?

The bodies eyes open

>> No.40479484

We weren't really expecting that. Or maybe we should have.

It also talks

You'd expect the sibilance of gravedust. Instead it's almost cheerful.


>> No.40479582


We definitely don't know whats in their but as its head turns through 360 degrees burning the thing seems like an excellent idea.

Also I'm sorry anons I need to sleep - can't focus on the posting window. I should be back in a couple hours or the morning. If anon wishes to ask questions/bump please do, or if this falls of board I'll make another.

>> No.40481154
File: 43 KB, 620x424, penguinologist.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I wonder if germanon will show up, assuming we can keep the thread up?

>> No.40481278
File: 280 KB, 757x942, Adventures in Britbongsteros_A. B. Findus the III.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

He is not the only Anon I'd wish to see in this thread...

>> No.40481489

drawfag, is it you?

>> No.40482688
File: 57 KB, 460x276, penguins.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.40484808
File: 66 KB, 843x958, Russian grandmother.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

babushka bump

>> No.40487189

My God that got capped?

Also good morning anons, I'll be trying my little updates throughout day today.

>> No.40488756

Im excited to read this in almost chronological order. Ive already read the purple penguin.

>> No.40488883

Germanon does always brighten the place up. I think he's a lecturer or something so perhaps he may be on holiday now.

>Devils bargain

So we have a ghost that quite wants to go home and *something* occupying its body.

I need to explain a couple lore checks first before I go on.

>> No.40488985

Our new friend introduces him/her/itself (or some other Tumblr bullshit) as Brahan Seer, who the bard apparently knows as a famous soothsayer, it also adds that we can call it Black Donald. (Which Google will tell you is a name for the devil)

We will just call him Donny.

>is it Satan?
We don't think so, Christian mythology is fairly lacking (purposeful choice) when it comes to appearing in britbongsteros, however the names are helpful in identifying whatever is in that corpse as something we want to chat to before setting it on fire.

>> No.40490021

Bump for mainland lunch

>> No.40490882

>What does Donny want?
(By the way I hope anon doesn't mind me nicknaming all this stuff it just makes it easier to type)

Donny wants us to collect something for him. From the local necromancer. The one we are going to be visiting (shooting), that being our good friend Frank.

>what is it?

Something which anons who have read the later stories may recognize, but Donny describes it as a glowing blue box. As many as we can carry. If we do that, he will relinquish the body and the ghost can go back to where it belongs.

We agree. For now.

For people who were living normal lives until yesterday, things are getting weird.

>> No.40491489


We head back upstairs and let the rest of the party know, they agree.

So we have literally made a deal with (possibly) the devil.

>> No.40493041
File: 197 KB, 656x909, Natty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.40493819

For those anons who like following active posting look in about 19:30 GMT. I'll be posting on and off through the evening.

>> No.40495268
File: 75 KB, 802x1024, Devil Penguin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It was a grade-A story, how could I not?

>> No.40495901


Our next step, is to have a good look at where we are going next. Down into Battledykes.

We wait for sun up.

There are still plenty undead about but they don't seem quite as effective in the day. We also rather need to see what we are doing.

Observation shows that there are small units of skeletons patrolling the countryside, there's also a copse of trees leading almost all the way to where we want to go.

We cut down into the woods.

The early morning mist gives us plenty of cover, and from up ahead we can hear hammering.

>> No.40496025

My thanks anon.

From a distance we could see the beginnings of a Roman camp. Which logic indicated would likely be where we would find Baz.

It also occurs to us we still don't have much of a plan....

>> No.40496902


Of course not having a plan, never really bothered us later and it didn't bother us at this stage either.

We did however take some explosives along for the trip, which we are glad of now.

The Navvie lights the fuse and slings them at the wall. They land at the bottom of it, sizzling, a skeleton looks over the top of the wall. It half turns, before shattering as a spume of earth and flame shoots into the sky. The wall is down and we are running toward the breach.

We need to find, engage and kill Frank as quickly as possible, otherwise the skeletons will soon overwhelm us.

>> No.40497068
File: 44 KB, 450x392, 5300192+_0df8d47cb2c28e49df83869e18f20f0d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The bard launched into a song at this stage. For the life of me I cannot remember what the fuck it was. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7kJRGPgvRQ this'll do.

The skeletons are not fast to respond, but they do slowly begin to, as we make it through the breach they are beginning to form up. We can also see a pedestal with Frank on it. Along with some chaps in robes.


These chaps turn up later as well, but they're responsible for a lot of the more magical/weird technology of Britbongsteros. They react plenty fast.

Angus shoots pillar of flame across the formation of skeletons. It turns out large groups of skeletons with wooden shields do not like flamethrowers.

Angus gets this mad, mad, glint in his eye.

>Oh fuck yes. It werfs flammen.

>> No.40497179

The alchemists appear to have brought jezzails.

They're not wonderful shots, but they fire extremely large boolets.

The dent that appears in my breastplate and takes me off my feet is sore as fuck. I'm fine but by not terribly happy about it.

The Navvie is very much in his element, he has picked up an alchemist and is using him as a human shield. It works absurdly well.

The wizard and I make for Frank.

Frank has obtained a new jawbone from somewhere. He does not seem terribly pleased.

Baz is tied up on the pedestal with alchemist looking gubbins humming into life around him, we can see some of those cubes around him.

He does not look terribly well...

>> No.40497255

I'm that ( >>40478419 ) guy from earlier, and halfway through your story. Fuck, now I REALLY want to run a campaign in not!France (since, well , me and my players are french).
But first I must finish my current one, and try to work a system that would be convenient both for me and my players because:
A- I have no idea what system you are using and since it's probably an homebrew...
And B- It will take time to convince my players of doing another system
Either way I liked the french/ dopplegander/ opposite party, I already used that idea one time and it was hilarious.

>> No.40497377


Large quantities of alcohol, large bits of D&D 3.5 and a good DM.

In fact Baz looks rather pale.

Whatever Frank is up to, we need to do something. Soon. We don't know what the machines will do, what Frank is up to, or indeed what will happen if the ritual/process is complete.

The Navvie takes a very direct approach to all things.

"I still have some explosives left right?"


he tosses the other satchel at Baz

DM: Muh adventure muh BBEG my


>> No.40497940

A very important DM lesson was learnt that day. Do not trust us morons.

The smoking crater contains one Baz and not much else. The skeletons around us are uncoordinated and bumping into things.

>everything went better than expected?


>> No.40498056


Of course, Frank was not the only necromancer around.

Of course other necromancers would sense his demise.

Of course Frank might have a master.

Of course the DM was pissed.

Meanwhile we merrily root about for glowy blue boxes. We find some thinking that should do, and prepare to leave.

>> No.40498511

When several hundred skeletons turn to look at you in unison, you start to realise there might be a problem.

>> No.40500363
File: 19 KB, 300x319, zombie_penguin_by_daveallsop.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Undead Penguin bump

>> No.40503365

French anon, I am wondering what Francebongestros would look like. Do you have any ideas?

>> No.40503766

From 1d4chan, where the entire series has been recorded:
Was just all slutty elves. That was good.

France as previously mentioned was elves. All elves. And they were French.

Though it's worth noting that they mostly interacted with Parisians (as far as I can tell), and doing a britbongsteros culture-translation would require a knowledge of France that you'd only really get from living there - for example Dundee being orks doesn't make much sense unless you know what Dundee is like

>> No.40505818

Bumping overnight

>> No.40507760

And in the wee hours. Why am I still up?

>> No.40511220
File: 14 KB, 460x276, Bob.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Maybe I should get some more penguin pictures...

>> No.40511949
File: 71 KB, 1024x724, cobblepot__the_kiwi_by_diegollorente-d5tkfoh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Bump before bed from a different time zone

>> No.40512362

Got caught up with you story. What a hell of a ride

>> No.40512446

Glad you enjoyed anon.

Did it all make sense for you and any other new anons? I really feel like I need to edit it a bit.

>> No.40512455

Good question,


For the most part what this chap said.

Why not start with your local region, for example southern France near Carcassonne is flat out mental.

Where roughly are you from in France? Maybe I can give you some pointers?

>> No.40512940

Just for fun, if you had been DM how would anon have reacted?

Also posting happening about 21:00 GMT

>> No.40513362

Since I'm an Ameri-fag, some stuff flew right over my head but over all it made sense to me. I must mourn the Amerifat though, since we are from the same local.

>> No.40514661

>some stuff flew right over my head
Like what?

Obviously I'm not Aldous, but I am a britfag so I may be able to help. Also this is a bump from page 9.

>> No.40516527

Nudging this back up the board

>> No.40519431

Once more, why not

>> No.40520199

Greetings Anons.

Posting commencing now.

>> No.40520222

It's me by the way

>> No.40520300

I'll second this. If we can help, it might be useful to provide some sort of dictionary.

>> No.40520365


We have done something that was possibly a bit dumb.

We have smashed our way into the centre of a small fortress. Outnumbered, outgunned, alone.

Worse still than that.

We have angered the DM.

The DM pauses for a long, long moment.

He looks at us. Each of us.

A cold, hard stare.

Pic related happens.

>Let's do this.

>> No.40520390


The skeletons start to form up. Perfect serried roman ranks.

We begin to back out of the camp. There's plenty of them between us and that hole in the wall too.



>> No.40520392

Nothing happened?

>> No.40520482
File: 170 KB, 1024x680, 79923_camp_lg.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Nope that was it. We just sort of stared at each other for a bit. Then ordered pizza.

This is a fairly typical castrum or roman fort.

(I really like Romans)

The red things are skeletons.

Purple is us.

Blue is the hole.

Brown is what we just blew up.

I'll give you a clue what happened next.


>> No.40520623
File: 86 KB, 736x510, a5a8a8f27a130a8b1df1305f72e79a21.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Well we did blow Frank to bits fairly well.

Baz somehow seems to have survived?


That's not our Baz.

There's what looks like a femur sticking out of his chest. We assume it belonged to Frank.

There's a darkness spreading across Baz's chest.

He stands up.

The only thing we really recognise about Baz now, is that his eyes have this sad, pained look about them, the rest of him in the simplest of terms looks evil.

But why use words when if you type "Dire Elk" into google you get pic related.

That's close enough.

>> No.40520683


We're outnumbered 100 to one and they have what looks a bit like god on thier side.

A couple of days ago, we were normal people, this is well out of our experience.

We look at each other.

Silently we agree.

There is only one option.

>Leg it.

>> No.40520694

Yes, YES.

I finally caught the thread.

I've missed the last two attempts.

>> No.40520757

Skeletons are not that fast. Not-Baz doesn't seem minded to pursue us. Instead we make for the hole in the wall.

We get through without too much trouble. Legging it into the countryside.

We stop running out of breath and more than a little terrified at the farmhouse.

There doesn't seem to be much in the way of pursuit. We stop in by. Chuck the cube thing at Donny, who is vomitted out of the corpse, he gives us a wink and an "I'll see you later wink" as the ghost is lain to rest.

We decide we're going to have to go back to Dundee and explain ourselves.

>> No.40520996

back in about ninety minutes anons. I'm not up early so I can post a bit more before bedtime.

>> No.40521049

and good to see you too whichever anon you are.

>> No.40521251

I'm the anon who has been stuffing everything on that 1d4chan page.

>> No.40521545

I'm in Florida, and the idea I had for a Britbongsteros setting in my location went like this:

Set in the late 1800s/early 1900s.

Oranges would contain trace amounts of god blood (not sure which gods, but the land is soaked with their blood). They're the only reliable preventive measure form catching the horrible, possibly magical, diseases the giant flying bugs carry.

There would be sun cultists who generate massive amounts of magic from sunlight and are trying to convert everyone else to do so.
The leader of the Sun Cultists, Thomas Edison, has found a reliable way to bottle and transfer light as well as use it to power various devices that make life more bearable in the tropical climate (such as the air conditioner).
He is currently searching for any still active flesh eating robots developed over a century prior by Eli Whitney (originally developed to hunt down escaped slaves and troublesome natives) which were weaponized during the American Civil War and then later turned loose in the wild country side by the losing Confederates. He believes he can re-purpose them into doing non-violent farm work, or at least to subside on animal flesh.

Storm wizards, who live only to spite everyone else, are protected by a foreign power in Cuba.

A new kingdom (or at least fiefdom) of elves who sell drugs which effect emotions are trying to get started.

The immortal mad governor, Juan Ponce de León, the only living man who knows the location of the Fountain of Youth, is a reclusive old man in his fortress who goes into senile rants about how there wasn't any magic in the world when he was young.

>> No.40521643

but can you fit in Disney World?

>> No.40522086

That's the elves.

It wasn't obvious?

>> No.40523106

Once it is all typed up, you should give it at least a once over to make sure everything is the way you want it.

The only thing that ever threw me was pissed = being drunk, but the context cleared that up almost immediately.

So, Devil's Bargain, is this the beginning of the second tale?

>> No.40524279

As always anons, OP remains an enormous faggot but trust me I have a good excuse.

You, you are awesome.

Yes lets go with that

>> No.40524310

There ya go, you're getting the hang of this anon.

>> No.40524398
File: 49 KB, 600x600, a490e7a6211e4f413d787ea63f44cebc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We make it back to Dundee mostly without incident, except accidentally beating up a swan.

We make our way to HMS Victory which is still docked in the harbour.

Dan Defoe (the inquisitor to our acolytes and also pic related) is ecstatic to see us.

>> No.40524451

Or at least he was, until we opened our mouths.

We explain what happened (making ourselves out to be desperate heroes, tossed upon the vicissitudes of fate). He buys absolutely fucking none of it.

"So you stopped the ritual. Frank is no longer going to have the power of a God. Excellent. EXCEPT NOW FRANK IS A FUCKING GOD"

He pelvic thrusts and draws his pistol to enunciate his point.

>> No.40524477

He should've fired his pistol with a pelvic thrust, but that might be more of an American or possibly Mexican thing.

>> No.40524491

"At least we have some professionals arriving shortly. They can take care of this, and you useless bastards can take them right back to Frank. The Special Bastard Squadron (SBS) should be here soon. Get out of my sight for a couple of hours"

>> No.40524584

We are not going to be told twice. We scarper.

As we get out on deck, there is what looks to be a man sat on a crate. He is wearing a red tam o' shanter and an egregiously jaunty suit. He gives us all a big wink. a very familiar wink.

>> No.40524688

We didn't mention Donny in our debriefing (seemed like a bad idea) but we think he's probably not up to anything good.

"Hallo lads, so you got chewed out a bit I hear. What if I told you, there's a way that you can all avoid being shot at dawn as soon as you get back?"

Ok we might be interested in this....

"What if I told you, the alchemists in this city have been doing things they shouldn't? Including nailing me to a floor?"

>> No.40524734

"And I want you all to be my instruments of revenge. You'll get some brownie points and you will be saving lives, whaddya say boys?"

Tentatively we agree.

>the DM grins

>> No.40524890

"I want you to blow up an orphanage."
"Theres no kiddywinks in there, the alchemists use it as a laboratory and machine shop. I have a sneaking suspicion. By which I mean I'm absolutely fucking certain, that the stench of my *he spits over the side, it sizzles* wife is involved. Their experiments require fresh bodies and young, pure souls, and I am sure you'll find an excuse to wreck the place once you see what's going on..."

Interestingly, the DM hands a sheaf of notes to Cruella.

>who the fuck is....

She turns up later. It's my Mrs. She was generally floating about in the background and ending up playing with us.

>> No.40524992

Heh, I'm reminded of that story of Mutants & Masterminds where the players were trying to be anime edgelords, but the DM wouldn't let them.
They burned down an orphanage just to try and prove how edgy they were, but it was a skrull base and it made them even greater heroes.

>> No.40525110
File: 110 KB, 1109x492, Kruel Klown Koalition.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh, yes, that's a classic!

>> No.40527325

Get off page 9.

>> No.40529294

What'd I say?

>> No.40531298

A bump before bed in the hopes that this thread will still be up when I wake up.

>> No.40532994

Bump in the (late) morning.

>> No.40535000


I'll manage some posting this afternoon, if there are any lurking anons, are you all happy that I've explained alchemists or would you like a summary again?

Nb I've written so many emails today, I nearly ended this post with

"Yours sincerely,


>> No.40536917

Well based on what's been said so far, they're a bunch of amoral guys who don't care where their research materials comes from.

>> No.40538170


>> No.40538296

this is essentially correct. They're also arms dealers, they will sell to both sides in a conflict.

You may enjoy reading about this chap who inspired our friendly alchemists guild:


>> No.40538642

We mull this over, it's a fairly obvious sidequest and you never know, it might be fun.

We examine the building from afar. It doesn't seem too intimidating. A large sandstone block, with lots of windows and an enormous yard out the back which it appears is being used as a motorpool. Out the front are tidy and well manicured grounds. The whole thing is surrounded by a wall about five feet high with railings up to a total of 9ft.

Even after the undead attack, it seems entirely untouched.

Suspiciously so.

There is also a free clinic being run to one side of it for war wounded, and it sure is busy.

>> No.40538711
File: 104 KB, 533x800, Crowley-Goodbye_Stranger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


We are not entirely sure what the threat level of this place is. We also know we really ought not to trust Donny.

Whatever Donny really is, he doesn't seem like the sort to tell us the truth.

Pictured is, well, essentially Donny.

>> No.40538771

We are a bit pressed for time, but we think we have a few hours.

Enough time to canvas the local population and try to gain any intelligence we can on the place.

What we discover from various bars and street urchins is the following:

>there are about 50 alchemists in there
>The more severe cases in the free clinic are taken into the basement
>A lot more crates go into the place than come out

>> No.40538830

This ought to be an interesting explosion then.

>> No.40538883

Wellllll....not everything we touch blows up does it?


actually anon has rather a good point.

>> No.40539980

Sometimes things you guys touched just burned to the ground or became disemboweled.

>> No.40539984
File: 756 KB, 1191x1643, broken-ear-27.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Basil Zaharoff

First time I heard of Zaharoff was in an article about pic related.

The second time, was in a paper on the history of the Orient Express, about how he:
>met a deranged cousin of the King of Spain
>who was in his honeymoon travel
>and one night tried to kill his own wife, cos deranged...
>Basil one-punch KO'd him, saving the wife (quite aristocratic, very rich, amazingly well connected) and stealing her heart; they became lovers and ended marrying

>> No.40541210

This thread has been here since tuesday and I haven't noticed... need new glasses apparently.

>Germanon does always brighten the place up.
>I think he's a lecturer or something
Did I ever tell or should I be scared...

>> No.40541427

You mentioned marking papers at one point and something about preparing a lecture.


(Also legal training gives you a mind like a rat trap and it never switches off)

Be another hour or two before postings

>> No.40541639
File: 827 KB, 1600x1200, bear03.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

now + 2 hours == midnight
lecture at 8 tomorrow

>spare ribs are not a steak, captcha, i'm a bear i know the difference

>> No.40541730

Well choosing the week Cruella discovers Babylon 5 was a total mistake for this but I think can tear myself away.


What the building gives us, is a fairly sizeable population, and a whole lot of collateral damage if we blow anything up (civilians in the free clinic and basement) we also don't actually know if we should blow anything up yet.

Fortunately the free clinic also gives us an in.

>non of us is injured

We consider this issue. We need an injured person to take to the free clinic. They'd have to be a non-combatant, someone who isn't exactly worried about being low on HP. Maybe someone who isn't even all that useful anyway....

>Bard: Why are you all looking at me?

>> No.40541789
File: 944 KB, 500x374, Old-Cartoon-Fight-Animation-Gif.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


We sort of....err...pic related [we club him over the head and rough him up a bit (lot) but not too badly]

>> No.40541880


The free clinic is glad to take the bard and his "family" in, though the tricky part is convinving them that Angus's flamethrower is entirely kosher.

We explain to the extremely beleagured medics that it's "welding equipment" and in we go (lucky roll).

The clinic is much as you'd expect something like that to be in a recent warzone. There are silent, terribly injured people, screaming slightly less injured people, there's a woman in labour somewhere, and a great number of harrowed, saddened faces.

As most clinics in this situation do, there is a process of triage.

There is a woman, with dark hair and a very tight bustier who (somewhat obvious clue) has a very piercing voice ordering people around, including selecting people almost at random to go to the basement.

As we are arguing with the medics about the flamethrower, the bard is selected and carried off.

>Bard's PC: ....guys. Seriously.

>> No.40542007

Dammit Bard, you're a bard.

Do that thing bards do to get out of having their souls forcefully ripped out of their bodies though various orifices.

>> No.40542105

Shag something?

>> No.40542238
File: 176 KB, 900x636, boink anything 7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Shag everything.

The captor, the bed, the ropes he's tied down with, etc. etc.

>> No.40542426
File: 2.06 MB, 624x335, 1433098683140.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Wait, so this IS that same group? Oh happy day.

>> No.40542447

These are the stories from before the Purple Penguin.

>> No.40542661

I don't live in Florida anymore but I'd be interested in this.

>> No.40542740

Yes, it's definitely the same folk. Did the bard, Navvie, Wizard, Angus and Aldous not give it away?

I suppose I should have used their names for the rest but it's too late now.

[Also the bard, we generally really did just call "the bard"'

>> No.40542840

Last I read up on you guys was several weeks ago. The Navvie was familiar, but I figured it was just an obscure class.

>> No.40542892

hahah, no, it's actually what his job was.

Navvie is what - for example, John Henry's job would have been (assuming you're an Ameri-non)

>> No.40543044

No one seems inclined to throw us out quite yet.

We have a small council of war.


>Navvie: hey we got rid of him! We're up already. Let's take our winnings and go.

>Wizard: I agree with the oaf.

>Angus: pub?

>me: pub.

>bards PC: looks kinda distressed

>...guys? C'mon..

>> No.40543155
File: 12 KB, 259x194, bear08..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.40544415
File: 17 KB, 540x480, 1434039006200.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I told you to get off page 9.

>> No.40545234
File: 46 KB, 762x1047, 8351922623.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

bumping with flightless birds

>> No.40547400

Bumping from page10.

>> No.40549359

Up it goes again.

>> No.40550783

Looks like I'm doing this again.

Here's hoping the thread makes it another day and the story gets to continue.

>> No.40552355

CET late morning bump

>> No.40554962

Page 10? Hell no.

>> No.40555466

Good morning bump.

>> No.40557032
File: 375 KB, 1600x1200, bear06.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

1830 bump

>> No.40558251

It seems like page 9 is the natural habitat for this.

Thank you all for keeping this up.

>> No.40558278


We feel a bit bad for the bard, and decide we should proably make an effort to rescue him. It is kind of our fault after all...

There's a couple of large doors into the main building, and we assume that's where he was taken.

As no one seems to be paying attention to us we decide extremely stealthily, very covertly to....

Walk through the doors.

>> No.40558360

Again, there seems to be very little actually stopping us, there's no guards around, the hallways are clear, we find some stairs and head downwards, carefully peeking round corners and doorways and we find what seems like a place of intensive care. There are whirring machines and glowy things but as far as we can tell (which is not much) they don't seem to be doing any harm, no one has that ghostly/deathly pale look of one having his soul sucked out.

There are a number of attendants and similar folk, but they are all bent over machine or patients.

The bard is still unconscious, and we decide to leave him where he is for now while we try to work out what we should be doing.

(yes we are all quite feckless)

>> No.40558376

More sneaky reveals workshops and some rather cool looking machines, there's a ramp out to the motorpool, but there's a shortage of sacrifical pits or demonic altars and general eeeeeevil.

We metaphorically scratch our heads.

>> No.40558411


Is it possible that Donny is wrong? Or just some sort of supernatural liar?

It makes perfect sense that he might be. Perhaps he has an ulterior motive?

We have just blindly walked into demonic politics.

Pretty blindly too I might add.

>> No.40558528

Blind is the best way to go about demon politics.

It makes it harder for them to suck your soul out through your eyes.

>> No.40558569


There are footsteps coming down the hall. We duck into a storeroom. As it's about headheight for me, I peek through the keyhole.

It's that lady again. Notably her eyes glow red.

Cruella acts the following out with the DM.

"Did we get what we needed from the bodies?"

"Yes Mistress, the organs were harvested as you demanded."


>oooh we're onto something here....

"And you're shipping them quickly? They can't be left to lie around."

"Yes Mistress."

"Good boy."


We decide to follow her, see if we can find out just how evil this is...

We sneak along as stealthily as we can in the direction she went.

We Metal Gear Solid behind some crates.

There's a number of makeshift cots set up.

Very pale people, looking near death on them.

They are attended to by what look like monks.

One of the patients expires.

He's taken away and we hear the whirr of a rotary saw.

>Those bastards....

A new patient is brought in. A marine, must've been pulled from the rubble of the Kirk. Barely alive.

The woman bends over him. Facing in our direction over the body.

She slaps the bloodied and bruised young man into wakefulness.

"You're dying."

He whimpers for his mother.

"But you can still serve. Me."

>Oh yes, this is it, we cock hammers, we light pilot lights,

"Sign here, consent to donating your organs to help others."

She looks right at us, and winks.

There's an earth shattering boom from the harbour that blows in the windows.

>> No.40558619

She vanishes, we run from the room, out into the motor pool, where we can see the harbour, just in time to see the HMS victory and the transport ship next to her (which must've contained the Special Bastard Squadron) break into pieces as the Victory's magazine goes up.


Cruella & DM drink their drinks in synchronicity as they smile big shit eating grins.

>> No.40558649

We punch the nearest alchemist and pinch a pick-up style truck, Stopping to pick up the bard (who is still a bit pissed with us) we make for the harbour.

Confirming when we get there, that the Victory, the SBS and an awful lot of other folk have been blown to bits.

Donny and his "wife" wave to us as they leave the harbour. Donny winks, she blows us a kiss.


>> No.40558826

OK, so that makes it clear that they both need to die now.

>> No.40559110


That it does anon.

I'll be dipping in and out of thread throughout the evening now and posting a bit every so often.

>> No.40559417

So Donny's wife quite clearly nicked that kids soul (and his organs, but YMMV on how bad that is), did the contract trigger the explosion too?
Or is that question a plot point?

>> No.40559738
File: 138 KB, 636x646, WTF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

sorry I could have made that a bit more clear, it was all entirely innocent. He was agreeing to donate his organs to help other. i.e. be an organ donor.

Also, Captcha, what the flying fuck is....all of this?

>> No.40559798

So it was "just" a bomb, no magic shit?

Fucking demons.

>> No.40559821

When captcha first started doing images one of the pics was a severed claymation alien head when it was asking me to select all the pizzas or something.

Every so often it throws in something really weird.

>> No.40560009

thanksgiving dinner table

and a shit after having eaten all of the above, one would assume

>> No.40560618

Yes it was that one that particularly concerned me, it appears to be a turd next to a picture of a sniper rifle?

Yup, just a bomb.

I did get a beholder a few britbongsteros threads ago.

>> No.40560718

Afaik its just some pics that show up on google image search when the correct term is entered (the ones you're supposed to click) and some that would show up for other, random terms (the "false" ones).

Just click the soup and don't worry, big brother is totally not watching you.
>I wouldnt worry about it.

>> No.40560768

I am concerned that I'm somehow training a google super intelligence with it.

Well shit. What next?

It seems then that Donny is in league with the necromancers? If so, why was he nailed to the floor? If he wasn't, why blow up the Victory and the SBS? He must have an ulterior motive.

It's also taken out Dan Defoe and our quest giver.

>Anyone have any bright ideas?

We can't go back and take on Baz ourselves.

We could track down Donny though...

>> No.40560816

Google switched to images because they felt they already taught the program to read well enough with all the word/number captchas.

They probably want to build a car that can navigate by itself without GPS or something.

>> No.40561051
File: 73 KB, 258x300, win_terminator.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not sure I believe you anon. Pic-related.


We don't really know where Donny has gone though. He left the harbour on a small steam pinnace heading northwards. There's all number of places he could have gone.

He's not exactly moving fast though, and we do have a truck.....

ooooooh a though occurs...

>> No.40561139

Google Chrome terminators.

I bet someone's done that before.

>> No.40562834

I check in on it every so many hours when it goes into one of its inactive lulls.

>> No.40564173

Like now I guess.

>> No.40564431
File: 54 KB, 644x362, balseros florida Chevrolet 1951.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>he left the harbour on a small steam pinnace
>we do have a truck
>a though occurs


>> No.40565622

I'm not sure which anon you are but you are clearly a man of great ideas.

>> No.40566978

Dammit thread, get off page 9.

>> No.40568208

Thread's not listening to me tonight.

>> No.40571240


>> No.40572350


>> No.40572364

Ok anons. Here we go, I'm going to try and condense a day of story telling into the couple hours as I have just been informed I am having a BBQ today.

>> No.40572398

I do serisously wish this had occurred to us,

But instead we follow the coast road.

>Can any of you drive?


It's decided the wizard is now our designated driver on the reasoning that as the semi (referred to as "The Jalopy" amongst friends) is made of metal, and therefore somehow his responsibility.


With the bard in the flatbed we tear off up the coast road with a plume of dust behind us.

>> No.40572462

We get out of the city heading North North East (anon can follow along on a map here if so wishes as we are taking the A930).

We just about manage to keep Donny in sight as we head towards broughty ferry, and then between Monifieth and Carnoustie we lose him, the road missing out on the peninsula there.

A variety of driving related tests later (the rest of us are providing perception based buffs and the bard as usual acts as an adventure appropriate mix-tape)

We break for a moment as the DM goes glassy eyed of Steve Earle which leads into Lynyrd Skynryd's Simple Man.

We wave lighters in the air and sing along.

As we barrel through Carnoustie the music changes.


Oh fuck.

We're at the positively mind blowing speed of 45MPH as we hit the main drag through town (a cobbled single track), there's civililians everywhere.

We swerve to avoid.

Into and through stalls, bits and pieces of merchandise landing in the cab with us, we are joined by a chicken for a couple hundred metres.

We skid, narrowly avoiding taking out a nun who is gesticulating rudely.

The skid turns into a complete loss of control.

>> No.40572474

The rear end comes out in front, we spin.

Narrowly avoiding a ditch.

Up ahead, the local church has let out after a service. There's nowhere to go....

>Why didn't you brake?

Hahahahah fuck that.

Making a split second decision. The wizard aims straight at the crowd, and the...


>the ramp shaped embankment leading up to a statute...

>> No.40572500

*statutes are a very different animal to statues, I meant statue.

The wizard floors it, the statue isn't terribly impressive, more of a sort of wooden figure/marker post.

We take the thing out as we get air.

(I hate to think what'd happen if we crit failed any of the above)

We sail over the heads of the crowd.

Thumping down on non-existent suspension, we tear onwards.

Getting out of Carnoustie as fast as we went in, Angus shouts for the Wizard to slow down.

The wizard takes his eyes right off the road to stare him down.

>I'm making time



>> No.40572532


This being /tg/, I will shill and regret nothing:

>> No.40572535

We can still see that steam pinnace ahead.

We're catching up.

Around East Haven we hit a fairly sizeable pothole. Enough to set us into a spin and burst a tire.

We flip and land slighlty askew but otherwise unharmed in a chicken coop.

Out to sea we can see smoke from the Pinnace as she gets up a full head of steam.

>Spare tire?


>Other traffic to flag down?

Fuck no.


Hell yes.

Between the wizard and Angus's bag of tricks we manage to patch the wheel together with staples and pure orky gumption. It won't be perfect but it'll do.

The Navvie helps by acting as a jack with one hand and drinking a beer with the other.

The decision is made that the Wizard is no longer allowed to drive.

Angus you're up.

>> No.40572568
File: 64 KB, 535x401, 1924-ford-model-t-00.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Angus gets behind the wheel.

He lights a cigar.

>What colour is the truck DM?


>Just asking.

Roll for it? [meaning "fuck if I know and I'll make it up based on how the number somehow makes me think of a colour"]

12! It's red.

It was red.

You're basically looking at pic related in red.

With an Orc behind the wheel.

>> No.40572627


Something that may be relevant at this stage.


>What happens if I fire a flamethrower straight forward from a speeding vehicle do we all get toasted?

[there is now an argument about this for the better part of half an hour.]

We eventually manage to convince him that if he's going to do it, he needs to drop the speed a lot first.

If any scientific anons can provide me with some form of proof or equation to allow me to definitively settle an argument five years old, I will love you forever.

>> No.40572759


Have any of you ever tried to make a vodka infused watermelon?

Do not make the first incision with a hatchet.

>Important lesson learned.

I'll be back shortly.

>> No.40573053


We head onwards to Arbroath, turns out Angus is surprisingly not bad at driving. We make good time. That little pinnace is starting to get bigger on the horizon.

Arbroath however is an issue.

The town seems to have been hit by the undead and there's still plenty of them about.

The skeletons have been and gone, but there's plenty of feral corpses (ZAMBIES!) going about.

If we stop, we'll get swarmed.

We decide the best option is to floor it.

>> No.40573204

Last post for a bit. May get time this afternoon.

>> No.40575111
File: 346 KB, 2197x1463, bear02.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

afternoon lads

>> No.40575172

I want to say this depends on the type of flame thrower.

>> No.40576189

well I have browsed youtube videos of flamethrowers for the past hour because of this and i come to the conclusion that it is totally safe to fire it out the side window, and the front, well probably.

>> No.40576330

I think of it this way.

Has a dragon ever been going at a high speed dive spewing flames from its mouth and the flames come back and hit it in the eyes?

You never see a dragon's head on fire when its making a dive and blasting flames at the same time.

>> No.40576440

Makes enough sense for me.

If yall need more, they also mount guns on planes. Pointed directly forward. Thats been a fairly successful concept for the past 100 years even IRL.

>> No.40577401

That works well enough for solid objects, now if only we has an example of gaseous as well.

>> No.40577477

what if its a liquid-based flamethrower
or even better, a napalmthrower
if it was napalm it would probably fly pretty well since that stuff is basically ground styrofoam soaked in diesel so it probably has ballistics somewhat alike to those of solid objects (just not the velocity)

>> No.40578088

Napalm is invented later in the story, so it can't be that.

I'm not sure about it being liquid since oil is a big thing later too.

How is the truck moving anyway?

>> No.40578536
File: 239 KB, 1280x800, bear05.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>How is the truck moving anyway?

>> No.40578736

Is it steam powered or something?

>> No.40579008

>The world of Britbongsteros was the same as our world was until about 15th C but then suddenly magic. This fueled science which fueled magic etc etc. We later discovered this was because of a device at the North Pole which had been keeping the magic from the world.

I would assume they have interal combustion engines... I mean there is oil trade with the middle east....
Something entirely unrelated...
>In the world of Britbongsteros, on the 23rd of June, a purple badge is worn by citizens of the country.
Today is the 13th of June.
1) Drawfag, get in here.
2) Aldous, describe that badge.
3) ???
4) Profit.

>> No.40579748

The oil trade hasn't gotten underway yet at this part in the game I thought.

>> No.40580416

I thought their later mission was just meant to bully the arabs into more favourable terms of trade but i could be wrong there.

>> No.40580632

I thought that mission was brought about because some traders or emissaries visited to show off the magical properties of their black goo.

At this point I'd assume they don't have enough oil access to have created gasoline yet, so the truck is probably working off some kind of boiler system.

>> No.40582325

or magic.

Past midnight over here in bear country, I'll be back tomorrow.

>> No.40583784

What? What happened?
Did the melon blow up or something?

>> No.40584181

Posting between singing Elvis songs extremely badly.

Yes. Essentially it sort of did rather. Don't know my own strength so it seems.

>> No.40585397
File: 38 KB, 398x334, flammenwerfer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The thing people forget (and vidya help enforce in people's minds) is that a flamethrower is indeed that - a flame THROWER.
Even in WWI the range in the trenches was about 14-18, and contemporary flamethrowers incinerate things at 50–80 meters.

45mph is 20.25 m/s, so assuming a WWI flamethrower (ei: not a particularly cool one) you'll be passing through any flame you throw in under a second - you needed to drop the speed a little, but not a massive amount, unless what you're about to drive through is flammable, will catch impressively AND is directly in your path to slow you.

Did you smash the melon?

>> No.40585415

I smashed the melon.

>> No.40586897

I just want to add that knowing that people who have not yet played in his setting are arguing about the mechanics and technology would make the DM insanely happy.

>> No.40587727

Do you still game with the group?

>> No.40589377

Bumping from page 9.

>> No.40591101

And again.

>> No.40593050

Here's hoping the thread makes it through the rest of the night.

>> No.40594734

1pm bright sunshine, 25°C out
and I am inside posting on a mongolian cartoon exchange platform

>> No.40595603
File: 99 KB, 800x533, bear07.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.40595668

>Type of flamethrower
We're as much a wehraboos as we are tea-aboos (actually does that count if I'm British?)


You are a credit to science Anon.

This is sort of what we thought, obviously firing something from a moving vehicle imparts a velocity upon it in addition to velocity it's already travelling at, but... if the burst of flame decelerates quickly through air resistance then we might end up driving into it.


is exactly what this guy said. Have a gold star for proving me right. I will send an email to the wizard later.

It is indeed a liquid based flammenwerfer, which werfs a mix of oil and tar at this stage.

Napalm was indeed a later thing - though it may have already existed, the flamethrower was something upgraded as Angus developed.

Perceptive Germ-anon.


Internal combustion is a thing even at this stage. Very basic though and mostly used by the military or the alchemists.

This anon is correct. The oil is on the go in a limited form already, but Arabia produces the really good stuff later.

Actually you're also correct.

In touch with yes, game no, careers and what have you took us apart.

I like this idea.

It was a fairly simple little badge, much as the poppy is itself very simple.

Just a little purple shield with ...

ok lets try some heraldry here....

>> No.40595850
File: 220 KB, 794x710, CRUDE MS PAINT.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I'm actually really rusty on this so I'm sure some anon will keep me right.

Blazon: Purpure,

Ordinary: Bend sinister - Argent

Ordinary: Bezant Purpure X6 (I have no idea how to say on the stripe in a line descending)

Anyway, pic related shows the fancy version, the ordinary version, would just be the shield.

>> No.40595869

yes I've shamelessly nicked the cap badge of the RRS to add to this. It's actually rather a nice design and has the required saltire, motto (which I like) and lion Rampant + crown.

>> No.40595899

>Blazon: Purpure,
>Ordinary: Bend sinister - Argent
>Ordinary: Bezant Purpure X6
literally what

I don't even know most of those words

>> No.40596183

I've been trying to find anon a good online guide to the topic. Short of this thumping great treatise I can't find a nice simple intro.

>> No.40596209

>Blazon: Purpure,
Main Shield: Purple
(though Blazon also refers to the coat of arms as a whole, the act of making said arms (and what you should do))
I'd have described it as Field rather than Blazon, but nbd

>Ordinary: Bend sinister - Argent
Decoration: Thick Band, Bottom Left to Top Right, "Silver" (which comes out as white most of the time)

>Ordinary: Bezant Purpure X6
Decoration: Coins, Purple, 6 of.

There is a term for purple roundels, Golpe, so it would probably be "six golpe on the bend"

>> No.40596618

As predicted a kind Anon did keep me right. Thank you Anon.

Now I come to think of it there's a nice pdf in one of the /tg/ pdf list things. I'll see if I can remember where it is if you'd like?

>> No.40597367
File: 2.79 MB, 4000x3000, DSCI0847.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I think some sections caved in or something, but we could easily wiggle through.
>pic very much related, me chilling on a bunch of rocks

>> No.40597378
File: 33 KB, 530x298, bear04.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Goddamnit, wrong thread.

>> No.40597402

are you somewhere below Paris Anon? Did you hear honking?

Also story time about 21:00 GMT today

>> No.40597492
File: 3.23 MB, 4000x3000, DSCI0830.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Massive honking outside my window right now... local football club probably just won some 7th league tournament or something.
I would post a pic of the slutty elves lounging in my kitchen, but I understand this is a sfw board, so... have another catacomb pic.
>see those sexy skalaktites, oh yea

>> No.40598481

It was 3:37am here when I made that post.

I'm always up late on Saturdays.

>> No.40598484
File: 400 KB, 1024x768, bear15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

gon git mahself some dinnAH

>> No.40600008

And I'm going to have a late lunch.

>> No.40601340
File: 143 KB, 600x752, bear14.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.40602576

Running a bit late (surprise) won't be more than an hour.

>> No.40604216

Hey, 75 minutes. Not bad for me.

Ok, what was I on about?


>> No.40604451

For those who don't know it, it's a small market town & port, it's also where the Declaration of Arbroath was signed (declaring Scottish independence in 1320).

Looking at it from the direction we're going, we're at the bottom of a big Y and we want to take the right fork of that Y. We also are going to lose sight of (what must've - now I think about it, have been a very fast steam pinnace - though they have a much less twisty route than us).

The first thing we notice is the place is very very quiet.

>> No.40604588

We're well into town by the time we start to realise something is properly wrong. We've noticed that there seems to have been signs of fighting in some places, but generally it's as though everyone just up and left.

It's when we hit the crux of the Y and the centre of town (near the abbey) and what we later surmise is the poisoned town well, that we realise something is properly amiss.

What's that you might ask?

The zombified horde of townsfolk. Too thick a crowd to drive through, but we're moving too fast to stop at this stage.

We've talked about zombies in Britbongsteros before. You die, you don't necessarily go feral immediately, you have memories, you know you were alive, you know you're dead, and as the brain dies off (unless necromantic influence) you go feral and start eating faces.

We can see some townsfolk are still mimicking life, there's a town crier waving at the crowd a proclamation his missing jaw and dead lungs won't let him read, a mother cradling half a child, but most of our attention focusses on the horde of feral townsfolk that seethe towards the noise of the engine.

We're going far too fast to stop.

>> No.40604792

We plough into the crowd.

Zombies reaching over the hood and trying to grab at us as they go under the wheels.

Helpfully the tightly packed mass of bodies (who I might add have signs of having vommitted black bile on themselves - again indicative to us of generally being poisoned) act as a sort of big cushion, and we are able to slow our momentum and shunt into reverse.

Angus swears and tries to back up as the rest of the party do our best House of the Dead.

We start to back up the way we've come.

The dead under the wheels are slowing us, slower, slower, stall....


>> No.40605015

What we have is significant horde of ex-humanity out for our warm tasty brains.

Clearly an issue.


The Navvie's PC, unusually for once, moans.

>"Zombies are boring."

This angers the DM.

>> No.40605078
File: 1.22 MB, 1200x1200, bears16..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>"Zombies are boring."
>This angers the DM.

>> No.40605216


We break into a house, reasoning we can at least get out the back door and put a funnel on the horde.

>There's no backdoor.

The zombified old chap at the kitchen table looks disgruntled but otherwise harmless as we charge past him, he breaks into his boiled egg as we smash down the back wall of his ktichen.

Arbroath is one main street and lots and lots of rows of twisty turny side streets, we decide to go a few doors up, and bash through the front door.

>> No.40605334

Zombies are starting to follow us through the old man's house.

The old man himself is in the early stages of zombie and abandons lunch and starts hobbling.

Angus aims the flamethrower back at him.



We can't just immolate the old bastard he's....

Navvie: He's a zombie....

The old man is not moving fast.

The zombies aren't planning on eating him, but as he's shoved into the mass of them, his frail bones breaking, ribs cracking as he's carried along by the crowd we can see his arms waving pathetically for help. He might be dead but his body remembers pain and his brain is not quite dead enough to have forgotten what to do with it.

Over the general moaning we can hear mumbling desperate pleas.

Navvie: he's...sort of a....oh shit. Angus...just burn it....

>> No.40605389

Somehow this will probably come back to bite them in the ass.

If everyone who saw them do it wasn't burned into nothing.

>> No.40605397

The flames torch the old man and the front of the horde.

We smash down the front door of another house figuring each house slows the horde until we can cut back on ourselves and smash back the other way to our transport.

>> No.40605429

Your DM is just the right kind of bastard.

You said he was a lecturer?

>> No.40605615

He was lecturing/teaching International Relations during the adventures yes. He's gone off and done some other stuff since then.

I prefer the title for him of:

>"Magic Autist"

>> No.40605846

It always does Anon.

These are small fishing village type houses. Tight, windy, the Navvie has to bend almost in half to fit.

The next one we bash in the door of we manage to work out the story of what went on from the scene inside or we think so.

Young couple. One of the kids seems to have got sick first or maybe the mother. Theres a trail of black bile leasing from the crib by the stove. There are half a dozen bodies all leading to the back door, looks like dad was a drunk and didn't get poisoned like the rest. Each of the bodies has its head stoved in.
Against the back door is a corpse with an empty whisky bottle and a bloody hammer.

Looks like the family all went feral at the same time and judging by the state of dad, chewed him up a good bit before he stabbed himself in the throat.

The Navvie clubs his head as he starts to get up.

>> No.40606023
File: 353 KB, 1400x927, east-linton.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Here's a picture of the sort of thing I'm on about.

We get through the backdoor, zombies a little further behind us now, we decide one more house then double back.

We hammer through the front door.

The place reeks of shit and ordure. It's not healthy.

There's a shape that runs from us. Too fast to be dead.


Poor bastard has been locked in here by himself watching the town go crazy and eat itself.

We follow him (as we must because that's the direction we want to go)

tied to a chair at the table is a corpse that's well and truly feral. She must've have been a pretty lass in life.

Her dress is in what a victorian novel would have called "Disarray"

(for the foreign anons - what's heavily implied here is "necrophilia")

The guy is struggling at the back door.

He looks over his shoulder at us. More afraid of us than the horde so it seems.

He mumbles "I could never have her, until she crawled to my door and..." The Navvie (who is in front) smashes him in the face with one massive meaty fist.

We leave him for the horde.

Haven't given you all any music tonight so have this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-UzaZjSNd8

>> No.40606099

We hammer out the back door, the horde is far enough behind us that we run up the street.

Choosing a house at random, we stove the door in. We don't know how smart these things are but the Wizard does his best to bolt the door back together.

Whatever madness is in this house we're gonna have to wait in here for a little while for the horde to thin out and pass back through onto the street now behind us.

The place seems normal.

Everything in good order.

Seems deserted.

We try to make it safe, staying away from the doors and windows, we reason the best thing to do is get upstairs, that we can observe the horde below wihout as much risk of them seeing us.

>> No.40606116
File: 1.27 MB, 2716x1694, bear17..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

gotta sleep, waaay past midnight

>> No.40606158

Goodnight German-anon.

I'll see how much I can get posted before I do same.

Regrettably this week I won't be able to post during the day at all so it leaves 16 hours at least of non posting time from me.

>> No.40606377


We climb the stairs, all seems very peaceful, we can barely hear the horde down the street.

The Navvie is still in the lead. He very gently taps on the bedroom door.

No noises from within.

He taps again to be sure.


It's a child's voice.

DM pops a beer and gets that grin again.

The Navvie looks round the door.

What the party see is that big, big man, fall to his knees.

The little boy, 3 maybe four years old is missing half his face. Bite marks all over it. You can see the skull through the dead tissue.

The little boy says "You're not my daddy."

He totters to the Navvie anyway, little legs doing their best, one broken and twisted backward.

The Navvie, even on his knees, the kid only comes to his belt buckle.

Dry old blood smears his shirt.

The Navvie looks at us, big, brown eyes, not knowing what to do.

That kid is gonna turn feral, soon.

Great big hands reach down, patting, soothing, shushing, caring.

They reach for his neck to snap it.

>I'm Thomas...

The Navvie's player wipes a tear from the corner of his eye.

He nods.

>I'm Burt and....

He snaps his neck.

>DM: Are zombies still boring you cunt?

>> No.40606684

Well, if I ever need to do zombies, I know how I want to do them

>> No.40606687

The wizard puts the body under the bed, thinks better of it, and tucks him into the bed.

We look out the window, the horde is moving as planned, slowly but it's working.

We wait.

They seem to have settled back into "holding" mode again, shuffling about aimlessly.

We gather at the front door of the house.

"On the count of 3 boys"




The hammer blow takes out the front door, and we pelt across the street. The Navvie shoulder barges down the door.

There's ferals in here and we're forced to make noise as one grabs Angus and gets him on the ground, I shoot it in the face.

The chase is back on again.

Out the front door, into the next building.

This buidling faces out onto the mains street and looks like a shop.

The glass window lets what zombies still remain on the main street get a good look at us.

Deciding the door is pointless, we go for the direct option, out and straight through the plate glass window together.

There's enough zombies that we can deal with them easily enough. Making for the truck, the wizard cranks the starting handle as the rest of us pile in.

The engine doesn't take.

Angus thumps the dash.

The wizard swears.

I knife the zombie under the rear axle just to be sure.

The Navvie pushes the truck forward, trying to give us a running start.

We join him as zombies shuffle toward us.

The engine catches and off we go.

On the horizon we can see the pillar of steam turning in, in towards Auchmithie bay.

>> No.40607057

How long did you have to hold up in the houses?

Seems like Donny boy and wife's trail would've gone cold by the time you got out of that mess.

>> No.40607138

All in all this probably took about 15 minutes in game time, we were fortunate that (the DM had) the boat slow down and turn into a natural harbour just up the coast (literally five minutes drive from the town).

>> No.40607338

Still a little posting left in me tonight so...

We drive follow the road to the steam, it's now a straight pillar that is slowly petering out. Signifying the boat has come to a stop and the boilers are being allowed to run down.

We don't want to just drive up to Donny's front door. So we stop at the small hamlet just round the coast from the large stately home overlooking the bay.

The village is deserted again. It's a short walk from the village to Donny so we park the truck on the main (and only) road out of sight of the house which is about 500 yards across windswept fields from the village.

With the engine off, we hear a sound over the wind. Digging.

Knowing we'll regret it, we follow it.

There are half a dozen alchemists with repeating rifles (the Martini Henry's we acquire later) standing in a line.

They clearly aren't digging. They are looking into a pit.

We wait in the cover of a stable (Angus soothingly petting the cart horse) and watch. One of the alchemists kicks a ladder back down into the pit.

Slowly the fifty odd villagers ascend the ladder. The alchemists line them up along the side of the pit, facing into it.

I murmur
>Babi Yar under my breath, knowing what's coming.

>> No.40607479
File: 30 KB, 450x600, 1432593644408.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh my god another britbongsteros thread! What a thing to come back to after a little /tg/ hiatus. Thanks so much for the storytimes man, ive enjoyed reading through it all so much.

>> No.40607757


The rest of the party seem to have cottoned on, so that when I see work out the alchemists are too far away for accurate pistol shooting and so I start moving forwards, the rest of the party follow.

The alchemists have managed to get the first batch of locals kneeling on the edge of the pit.

They raise their rifles on the command of their leader.

I manage to drop him with the first shot.

The wizard sends a steel shaft through the skull of another, and between us, we wipe the party out quickly.

We are fortunate in that it's likely the sound of shots were expected.

The locals as we approach don't seem entirely all there.

Their eyes are a pale white. Milky. Without pupils. Talking, waving a hand in front of their faces, it does nothing.

There's no one home.

They don't respond to external stimuli at all until the bard says to one woman

"Say something...please?"

She says "something"

We establish through some trial and error that they respond to simple commands. Beyond that they might as well be automatons.

Some further analysis and very limited interrogation reveals they aren't getting likely to get better from this. Their soul or essence is gone. We might as well be talking to husks.

We can't just leave them. They will at best starve to death.

Angus picks up a fallen rifle.

>We should finish what they started then...

Each body that falls into the pit is just an empty husk, or at least that's what we tell ourselves as we put down each and every one.

>> No.40607816

Last post I think tonight.

We look on at the stately home. Night is beginning to fall. There's no lights showing and no smoke from the chimneys but this has to be the place.

We prepare ourselves and decide to get a bit closer.

We have some revenge to take...

>> No.40607836

Also sorry if this bit was rather depressing anons

>> No.40607861

Before I pass out, I'll be conscious for another half hour or so for Q&A. Look for more story time late tomorrow evening

>> No.40608050

You're clearly very tired at this point.

And I would've brought them along, told them to carry stuff, be meat shields, given them some opportunity to cause misery to what did this to them or at least to whatever was bossing them around after the fact.

>> No.40608417

Damn, the start of the campaign was pretty fucking dark.

Well, I say that. I'd forgotten how grim the setting was (I just re-read the original storytiem), but geez.

Your DM certainly likes to put you through the wringer (also, holy fuck, the Kelpies and Sawney Bean)

>> No.40608547

It's impressive how much they managed to unfuck Britbongsteros before something else came along to tried and fuck it all up again.

>> No.40609298

To be fair there's a bit that would seem slightly contrived, had it not been for the DM's disappointment, the sense it makes in story and the fact that it was a stroke of brilliance from the Bard (of all people) that managed to give them a massive helping hand in unfucking the place.

Edinburgh: the capital, very hilly, towers for rituals, massive castle, inhabited for centuries, even got roman remains, surrounded by necromantic wastes that resemble an area that's been nuked, swarming with undead and necromancers. All the necromancers save the BBEG, who they have a beef with are in a ritual, but he's a tough bastard.

That castle has is one of the most besieged places in the world, it's tough as hell (though the wizard got them up the cliff), and is quite rightly being used as a base by the BBEG

It's also home to a big cannon in the castle's main battery, generally used for signalling one o'clock, which they then used to kill all the in-ritual necromancers, and the BBEG's recombination of defeated skeletons.

Like I said, if it hadn't been for all the sensible factors and the unlikelihood of the bard suggesting it (the DM could probably have said it wasn't there, but it's a famous feature of the castle that's pretty unique, so that would have been a dick move) it'd seem like a really lame cliché, the villain leaving such a convenient tool to defeat the wider plot.
As it was, badass

>> No.40611012

BBEGs have done dumber things before.

I'm hoping this thread will be able to survive long enough for the sorties being told now to catch up with the stories already told.
I wanna see how they're gonna stitch together.

>> No.40613652

And we're back to page 9.

>> No.40615222

Gonna give this thread best odds I can of still being around when stuff starts happening again.

>> No.40617559

Have a bump

>> No.40620542
File: 65 KB, 720x886, 119.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Anyone have that mars expedition storytime where the GM had the players wear gas masks?

Pic unrelated

>> No.40620868
File: 3.92 MB, 3260x9423, 1432001050017.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Kind of an odd thread to ask that in, but yeah, I know what you're talking about.

It was easy enough to find.

>> No.40622211

bumping from university

>> No.40623995

Bumping from page 9, again.

>> No.40625506

Just one of those days, huh?

>> No.40627401

It's probably getting a bit late for it to pick up again today.

>> No.40627604

This anon is right.

Tried to fit too much into today, and late night posting was planned but I am afriad late night falling asleep seems necessary.

My apologies anons.

If this exists tomrrow I'll try to continue or failing that, look at the weekend.

>> No.40629803

OK then, time for the waiting game to continue.

>> No.40631929

So it's gonna be like this, huh thread?

>> No.40633739

It is indeed its natural habitat.

>> No.40635285

I'll give the thread the best odds I can again.

>> No.40638056

bumping from innaconferene

>> No.40639423

And I'll give this a bump before I get started on some work.

>> No.40640328

Hello Anons, posting to start about 20:30 to 21:00 tonight.

On a brief nose back through all this, Britbongsteros sure was a dark place to begin with. Then in the middle. Also the end.

>> No.40640459

Perhaps it might be an idea to start a new thread when you start posting? This one won't survive the whole tale before reaching bump limit, I think...

>> No.40641095

Anon shows wisdom.

I will do this.

>> No.40641344

I'll get on with adding all the stuff from this thread to the 1d4chan page in a couple hours or so then.

>> No.40642246

May the penguin bless you anon.

>> No.40645279

Bump for 1d4chan anon

>> No.40645310

I just finished adding everything from this thread less than a minute ago.

>> No.40646021

Sorry maybe I should have said,

New thread over here lads:


Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.