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[ERROR] No.40080664 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

/tg/ i am bored.

roll up some tau with me and we shall put them through shenanigans.

ready your dice, gents.

What Phase was your Sept founded in?


1-2 1st Sphere of Expansion
3-5 2nd Sphere of Expansion
6-8 3rd Sphere of Expansion
9 Outpost/Colonies
10 Farsight Enclave

>> No.40080701

Rolled 2 (1d10)

Fuck it lets what we come up with something. Round 1!

>> No.40080786

>Rolled 2 (1d10)

1st Sphere of Expansion.

cheers anon

next up is the predominant terrain of your homeworld?


1-2 Desert
3-4 Forest
5-6 Swamp
7-8 Urban
9 Jungle
10 Ice

>> No.40080812

Rolled 3 (1d10)


>> No.40080913

>Rolled 3 (1d10)

Forest. camo all day e'rry day.

Which tactical philosophy does your commander prefer?


1-5 Mont’ka, the Killing Blow – Study the enemy before attacking its weak point
6-10 Kauyon, the Patient Hunter – Lure your enemy into a trap and surprise them

>> No.40080959

Rolled 1 (1d10)

Here we go again

>> No.40080985

rolls so far are pretty consistent.

>> No.40081047

Very much so.

So we got a 1st Sphere Expansion Cadre that's from a forest world and our commander follows Mont'ka.

Unless the dice throw us a massive curveball its shaping up fairly ordinary...come on teezenchie-chan what you got!?!

>> No.40081053

>Rolled 1 (1d10)

Mont’ka. well well. looking good anon.

Which tactic does your cadre prefer?


1-25 Static/Stationary units shelling enemy before they risk casualties in combat
26-50 Mobile units for rapid strikes and creating confusion
51-100 Hybrid with stationary units supporting mobile ones

>> No.40081083

Rolled 32 (1d100)

Lets see if the big dice have fun.

>> No.40081106

Is fish of fury still a thing? It's been years.

>> No.40081184

>Rolled 32 (1d100)

Mobile units. i think we're getting forest ranger cadre. i'm okay with that.

but we shall see.

What is the primary function of your cadre?


1-2 Exploration of new worlds
3-6 Conquest of new worlds
7-8 Peacekeeping/Policing
9 Planetary Defense
10 Adaptive/Changes according to commanders whim

>> No.40081199

Rolled 8 (1d10)


>> No.40081238

So forest high speed police/riot control task force.

Now its starting to turn interesting.

>> No.40081271

>Rolled 8 (1d10)


>So forest high speed police/riot control task force.

we endor now.

What is the Ethereal Caste presence/adherence to Greater Good?


1 High presence/Fanatical adherence to Greater Good
2-3 Higher than normal presence/adherence to Greater Good
4-8 Normal presence/adherence to Greater Good
9 Lower than normal presence/adherence to Greater Good
10 No presence/Questioning adherence to Greater Good

>> No.40081296

Rolled 10 (1d10)


>> No.40081324


Mighty Morphan Anarchist Park Rangers?

>> No.40081341

>Rolled 10 (1d10)


What is the size of the auxiliaries in the Cadre?


1 Majority of the Cadre is non-Tau auxiliary
2-3 Larger than average sized auxiliary
4-6 Normal deployment of auxiliary
7-9 Smaller than average auxiliary
10 Xenophobic lack of aliens in Cadre

>> No.40081350

I was thinking more A-TEAM with giant robots but thats just me. Eitherway this is getting good.

Glad you heard me teezenchie! You are the best bird ever. Wonder what else dice has in store for this Cadre.

>> No.40081406

Rolled 5 (1d10)


>> No.40081445

>Rolled 5 (1d10)

Normal deployment of auxiliary. meh

>> No.40081500


shit. forgot the table. sorry lads.

What is the composition of the auxiliaries?


1-2 Majority of auxiliary are Gue'vesa
3-4 Majority of auxiliary are Kroot Mercenaries
5-6 Majority of auxiliary are Vespid
7-8 Majority of auxiliary are Tarellian Mercenaries
9-10 Majority of auxiliary are Galg Mercenaries
11-12 Majority of auxiliary are Hrenian Light Infantry
13-14 Majority of auxiliary are Morralian Deathsworn
15-16 Majority of auxiliary are Anthrazods
17-18 Majority of auxiliary are Demiurg
19-20 No majority/ mix of several species

>> No.40081522

Rolled 4 (1d20)


>> No.40081523

Rolled 7 (1d20)

I got dis. Maybe.

>> No.40081630

So we got a cadre founded during the 1st expansion hailing from a forest planet, focus on peacekeeping via rapid response tactics and their commander is a Mont'ka follower. However oddly enough for whats basically a police force on steroids they have no Ethereal leading them or any real contact with them outside probably a few orders and they hire heavily from the Kroot.

Is this a police force or a secret police unit that does wetwork?

>> No.40081665

>Rolled 4 (1d20)


>Rolled 7 (1d20)

and/or tarellian

bugs and/or dog you decide. but for forest i personally think the dog soldiers would fit better.


What is the Cadre's preferred enemy?


1-25 Imperial Guard
26-40 Specific Space Marine Chapter
41-65 Orks
66-80 Tyranids
81-85 Eldar
86-90 Dark Eldar
91-97 Chaos
98-99 Necrons
100 Inquisition

>> No.40081674

Rolled 82 (1d100)


>> No.40081682

Rolled 42 (1d100)


>> No.40081699

Rolled 32 (1d100)

Ohhhh and we've had a run in or two with the pointy heads.

I really wish that would of been a nat 100. Damn thing would of wrote itself. anyway heres my dice on it.

>> No.40081837

>Rolled 82 (1d100)


>Rolled 42 (1d100)


>Rolled 32 (1d100)


diversity o'er here. what is in this forest that all these other niggers want?

Who is the leader of your Cadre?


1-6 Shas'el - Fire Caste Noble
7-9 Shas'O - Fire Caste Commander
10 Ethereal Caste

>> No.40081842

Rolled 4 (1d10)


>> No.40081873

Rolled 9 (1d10)

Let loose the dice gods!

>> No.40081905

>Rolled 4 (1d10)

>Rolled 9 (1d10)

noble commander?

How would characterize your leader?


1 Cars'hesa - Evaluative
2 Or'la - Friendly
3 Vior'la - Hot-blooded
4 Gal - Inquisitive
5 Alhosive - Reclusive
6 M'es - Subservient
7 Doran - Stoic
8 Res - Barbaric
9 Or - Ambitious
10 Va'yan - Proud

>> No.40081913

Rolled 6 (1d10)


>> No.40081931

Rolled 6 (1d10)

Dice can't decide if they want epic or not...

>> No.40081992

You, you double subservient!

>> No.40081999

>Rolled 6 (1d10)
>Rolled 6 (1d10)


is... is this shota noble tau commander?

>> No.40082048

I have no fucking idea boss. I just know the commander prefers...privacy at times.

The kind you enforce with heavily armed drones at the door if someone wonders what that yelp of pain was about.

>> No.40082134

in any case here's the wrap up

>Tau Cadre
>1st Sphere of Expansion
>Forest homeworld
>Mont’ka Philosophy - Study the enemy before attacking its weak point
>Tactics: Mobile units for rapid strikes and creating confusion
>Primary Function: Peacekeeping/Policing
>No Ethereal Presence
>Normal deployment of auxiliaries
>Kroot and Tarellian auxiliaries
>Preferred Enemies: Dark Eldar, Specific Space Marine Chapter, and Orks
>Cadre Leader is double M'es Shas'el Shas'O

But we're not done yet. now we truly begin.

>> No.40082158

now ROLL 1d100 and see what we're putting the cadre/double M'es Commander through today!

>> No.40082170

Rolled 74 (1d100)


>> No.40082189

Orkz with hang gliders. I can dig it.

>> No.40082203

Greenskins with wings? I see promise in this.

>> No.40082208

Rolled 49 (1d100)


>> No.40082240

Or brain eating chaos deamon trys to pass himself off as a hair dresser.

God its starting to sound like a sitcom in here.

>> No.40082409


who knows. it's a big forest. they might actually BE ilithids. the question in my mind is, whose hair are they dressing exactly?

>> No.40082427


what manner of floating fortress would Tau have?

the commander's drone lifted treehouse?

>> No.40082483

Mobile Command Center Tre'Haus. A large mobile fortress propelled by gravlift and lots of it. Acting as mobile command center onsite during operations. The commander likes keeping a bonsai garden in his quarters on it. The orks want it because of the big shiney guns on it. Oh and they think the "itty bitty tree tingy" they heard about would make a great toothpick for the warboss.

Think massive police station that is mobile and able to handle all their peace keeping work and detain those weird guys who keep carving runes that scream into their skulls

>> No.40082517

Super T'roo P'ers on endor?

>> No.40082561

When they get bored on long peacekeeping operations yes.

Oh god now I'm imaging the shit those guys got up to done by Tau. My sides can't handle this!

>> No.40082718


and who shall name our fast forest friends, friend? who shall christen this cadre?

>> No.40082784

I'm hardly good enough with tau names.

Still this didn't turn out too bad. We somehow made the Tau Super Troopers. Their god damn commander is a walking joke waiting to happen. And as if that wasn't enough they've had multiple engagements with Space Hooligans, Religious Nutters and Sexual Deviants.

They are literally Tau spacecops from endor and I love it.

I wish I could writefag this properly.

>> No.40082854


attempting to entice writefags and others.


>> No.40083277



>> No.40083662


why do i not have blueberries?

request blueberries for a blueberry folder.

anons pls

>> No.40084869


>> No.40085687


>> No.40085860


>> No.40086298


>> No.40086470


>> No.40086663


>> No.40086771

continuing dump just because i feel like it.

>> No.40086799

also because you people are too damned asleep to give me my damn blueberries!

>> No.40086832

Have a blueberry, friend.

>> No.40086849

mmmyesssss thank you anon.

tell me, are you he who shall name the cadre?

>> No.40086884

I was about to, but then you tickled my military uniform fetish. Then you proceeded to rape my fetish with shitty uniforms. I'm all spent.

>> No.40086897


i... i'm sorry anon

i only have these ಥ_ಥ

>> No.40086930

You can still be sexy while staying within Uniform Code, y'know
>file-naming obvious Marine uniforms as Navy
>inb4 naval infantry

>> No.40086953

I guess? Sure. How about Byon'shi?

Not sure what Byon would mean, but Shi means victory in Tau. Sounds somewhat like bonsai, like the trees (I bet their planet has tons of the things), which reflects the patience required philosophy of studying the enemy before attacking, and also like bonzai, which reflects their rapid strikes.

>> No.40086974


i... i'm fakkin civvie ಥ_ಥ pls mr. captain general sir, teach me your ways[/spolier]


thank you anon. that does sound appropriately doujin like for a gag cadre with a double M'es commander

>> No.40087009

Anon, there is a canon sept that used to be an Ork world called Fi'rios. Even the canon supports gag names.

Also, I'm no write fag, but how about Tau from this sept carve their own bonding knives/the handles and scabbards of said knives from the wood on their planet, as an exercise in patience? Some even add pieces of wood paneling to the sides of their rifles or fashion billy clubs for police work

>> No.40087153


i like it. i like that a lot actually.

also fairbairn-sykes knives for the /k/roots

>> No.40087225


and trench knives for the truly cruel endor /k/ops

>> No.40087410

Okay, I'm going to start pulling some stuff out of my ass here.

The world of Byon'shi used to have much heavier forests than now, with only the tips of mountain ranges being clear of all but stunted dwarf trees. The moutain ranges were the first settled and still remain the most central of Tau settlements on the planet, and the trees became associated with the Tau settlers of the world even when most of the forest was cleared, and many took up their cultivation and shaping as a pastime. On the event of a Tau's death a small bonsai is left to grow over his grave, and family members sometimes shape it as part of a way of expressing grief.

Aside from its raw resources and production, Byon'shi is best known for its schools. Byon'shi has produced many Water Caste Tau who patiently learn the customs of other cultures, and many Fire Caste commanders who understand the importance of learning their enemy and patiently planning out every strike they may use against them.

Byon'shi isn't an entirely peaceful planet, however - there is still untamed forest in the lowlands with many terrifying creatures, some of which are dangerously intelligent. Though Kroot occasionally come to the world to eat the flesh of these creatures, for the Tau they are a menace that requires most of the planet to be under strict curfew with Fire Warriors acting as security forces. This static defense is dealt with in the mobile Tau fashion - teams of Pathfinders constantly scout the edges of civilization, ready to call in teams of Fire Warriors for rapid strikes on the local fauna to defeat them before they ever reach their cities.

>> No.40087490

There is, rather alarmingly, no Ethereal prescense among most Byon'shi forces, due to the overall belief that the wisdom and patience of their commanders will allow them to work harmoniously towards what is necessary for the Greater Good without much need for supervision.

They have a great fear of the Orks and go out of their way to exterminate any that they find, for fear that one of their spores might end up on their world and make their current situation worse. The Dark Eldar, too, are especially frustrating as they attack without warning and confound most attempts to catch them in Byon'shi's usual 'mobile attacking to defend' strategy. Something almost like a rivalry has grown between the forces of the Byon'shi and the Dark Eldar, whose fast raiding parties try to outrace Byon'shi fire teams, and whose long-held grudges and planned out schemes darkly mirror the patient strategitizing and collective memory and wisdom of Byon'shi officers. Almost above the Orks, they have a hatred of the White Scars for once a Khan and his company worked around a series of asteroids commonly referred to as the Great Wall and made a daring raid on one of Byon'shi's main cities. It is a slight they've never forgotten.

>> No.40087606

Note: the lack of Ethereal prescience isn't troubling for Byon'shi Tau, but does cause problems for their relations with Kroot and Talliern soldiers, since they are not as methodical and patient and tend to act without supervision. To try and soldify relations with the Kroot, in exchange for free hunting of local creatures for their Shaping, Tau Cadres occasionally are allowed to hitch a ride with the Kroot on their single Warsphere, known as the Tre'Haus to the Tau.

The current Cadre given this honor is commanded by M'es M'es Shas'el Shas'O. (S?)He is probably the absolute worst choice for the job, for despite his skill with bonsai-shaping and tactics, he is not at all good at saying no to the Kroot if they demand he do something. Which, given the Kroot's rather dark sense of humor, means he's had to do a number of disguising and degrading things.

However, one of his Cadre grumble at these slights, for riding in Tre'Haus is one of the best ways for them to be on the front lines - especially since as of late most Cadres from Byon'shi have been used to help police recently captured worlds in the Third Expansion.

>> No.40088046

Rolled 1 (1d2)



Might as well roll for it. One is dude, two is dudette.

>> No.40089091

Dude it is then

>> No.40089692

It's NOT a Shas'O. Shas'O is the highest rank, Shas'El is the second highest. This is like having two last names, one that implies you're nobility (Like German "von yadayadayada") and then one that implies you're royalty. Not only does it not make sense, it's wrong and misleading.

>> No.40089815

Also, the name of the Sept is the second part of the name (behind rank), and the defining trait or traits that are effectively the "first name" go last. If you want to shorten it, say "Rank'Most-Prominent-Trait", like "O'Shovah" for "Shas'O Vior'la Shovah Kai's Mont'yr", or Commander Skilled Farsight of the Killing Blow from the Sept Vior'la.

>> No.40089889


Which raises the question: which sept is Commander Fuccboi originally from?

>> No.40090025

Either Bork'an or Dal'yth as hose are the only two first phase colonies that fit the general bill of what we're after.

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