/tg/ - Traditional Games

Land and titles. Like the good ol' days.

Barring that, cold, hard cash.

I was allowed to be dr doom of the underworld.

The campaign ended with awkward "why is he allowed to do this?"

>>37774934
The party survives and sees a lot of cool shit on the way and usually enough random loot for some hookers and blow.

>>37774934
Its hard to set up a game where it feels meaningful, but my favorite Ive ever recieved was political influence and connections.

The GM (best I ever played with) made it feel actually important that we were now in good standing with the Witche's Coven and had a contact with a Vampire Baroness.

>>37775067
So the true reward was the adventure itself?

Truly, the treasure was inside you all along!

Hopefully coming of Gehenna.

My favorite reward is a tie between gladiator arena champion/celebrity and the operator behind a major cities thieves guild.

>running a small campaign with another friend.
>we are both new so just winging it
>set up gladiator theme full of intrigue and battles
>we fight our way to the top despite all the fuck ups we do
>good times abound for the afternoon

>running an urban setting
>we are mostly rogues in a low fantasy setting
>we climb through the gritty underworld, working with assassins and second story men
>we confound the city watch and bribe all the politicians
>build a thieves guild to rival all the others in the city
>mostly force them all out, all that was left was the assassins guild and an not-itallian mob ran by half-orcs

Lots of intrigue in that one. From working with trade guilds and politicians to convincing crazy good assassins not to kills us.

http://vimeo.com/58179094

Once, I was contracted by the miserly owner of a sawmill to expell an infestation of gremlins. The rest of the party found out, as they are wont to do, so they insisted on helping.
Cue the priest spending 16 hours on exorcism spells, followed by a gunfight, in which the gremlins turned to piles of scrap metal. (We also caused some minor damage to the machinery)
After the battle, the rest of the party went back to the hotel, and I went to talk to the owner. I walk him around the main floor, as he protests about the damage. I sooth his concerns by pointing out the identical piles of scrap, all over the mill, several in difficult to reach places, and assure him that I was not spending all night planting evidence to con him out of his money.

He takes one more look around, and then unhappily gives me $30.
I consider this my greatest reward, because the party never asked me about a reward, so I kept everything.

best reward?

A small, stuffed, purple toy penguin was returned to its rightful owner.

>>37775583
I take it there's more to this story?

>>37775841
I'll type it out. Check back in ten minutes.

>>37775841
our tale begins in (not) enlightenment era Britbongistan. The nation stands on the brink of annihilation. Barbaric hordes rise in the swamplands of the western island, to the North the undead rise. Gun powder has allowed the nation to stand this long. Our band are on a quest for an ingredient that will make for better quality metallurgy in the cannons and rifles. maybe enough to turn the tide.

Now our GM likes to present us with choices. As the group's resident dwarven knight (from not Yorkshire) I often am the one everyone looks to for a steer on these.

in the relevant session our choice is to chase down an enemy alchemist who we have been trailing for days now or we can let him get away and save a village from the undead.

We are in an area that is near (not) Newcastle. We have with us a stoic human, a working class navvie who uses his hammer to smash the undead and return them to hell followed by inventive curses. He has no family but is from around this area. By the way his name was Burt.

I say "obviously we go for the alchemist. It will save more lives in the end"
>DM slips navvie a note. Ooc: "DM you're a bastard" says the player.
Our titan of a navvie looks at the horizon. "The village my Lord it is...it was my home"

The rest of the party argue. The DM reminds us that the alchemist is getting away. time is running out. We go for the alchemist.

It doesn't take long but we get him. We get him good. We turn round. We make for the village. It's ablaze.

We scream to a halt in our jalopy. The undead are lead by a Necromancer. One we've met before. The Skeletons engage us, the Navvie goes at them. Bellowing. Bodies fly. My pistols grow hot. Our wizard summons chainsaws and the slaughter continues. Our bard plays the song of vengeance upon his bagpipes.

Meanwhile. The Necromancer is stealing soul after soul. Picking up each screaming villager and inhaling their essence, tossing husks aside.
We can't save all of them. Maybe one. Just one.

>>37776258
We don't. The last is a little girl.

>DM hands navvie another note. "Fuck you DM"

The Navvie screams as he recognises her. His niece. she cries for him. For help. And the necromancer removes her soul into a container. As he tosses her withered empty husk of a body aside. He trampled upon the little purple stuffed penguin the girl had been holding. He vanishes.

The undead are slaughtered but even in the hissing and popping heat that comes when our Scottish flamethrower carrying greengrocer uses his signature weapon. Even in that heat, the tears track through the soot and grime on the Navvies face.
We cursed the village, the war, ourselves.
I picked up that little penguin and put it in my cartridge belt. "We'll bring his owner back. I promise."
>So began a year long quest to return the penguin to the little girl.

>>37776392
Sorry way more words there than intended. If anyone wants to know the rest I'll check back in later.

>>37776392
>implying there is another correct answer
More.

>>37776258
>>37776392

I was liking the setting until I read

>bagpipe bard

then I loved it. Tell the DM he needs to write this up as a document setting. Makes a systemless sourcebook, a few pages even, giving an overview of the world you guys have created. The amount of amazing settings that get created and then vanish to memory is sad.

>>37776692
I shall start typing.

>>37776703
Would anon prefer me to give lots of setting related detail (as in the above posts)? I shall be slower responding but it will help flesh it all out for you.

>>37776814
sure it's nice reading about people's campaigns seeing as i'll never get to play any

>>37774934
More than any particular thing or another, I like getting unique things. Stuff that's tailored to my character, stuff that does something interesting and isn't out of any book, stuff that the writers didn't think of. I'd much rather get a custom weapon or unique spell than a big pile of gold or +X to Y skill.

>>37776258
Oh and I am not good at history so I suppose its more Victorian than it is enlightenment but it has bits of both. Anyway.

>Further adventures in Britbongsteros

We left the village. It burned long into the night. I could see it as I smoked my pipe in our camp. The bard played http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iK9LXdl-6eo
the Navvie and the greengrocer (a sort of orc thing from what was once Dundee) broke into a bottle of my whisky, then another. They used the alchemist (above) as a bench. His muffled cries lost in the skirl of the pipes. We had kneecapped him and tied him up earlier.

I sat and looked at the little penguin. Cleaning my pistols. The other party member, the wizard (actually an engineer from Aberdeen who had the ability to summon and command machinery such as the aforementioned chainsaws) sat with me. He (and the player) bawled inconsolably.

We needed a plan.

A potted plant.
It was the hypest gift for saving some lives by tampering in a court trial involving a couple bandits we'd captured. I liked two of the bandits.

>>37776814
>Would anon prefer me to give lots of setting related detail (as in the above posts)
Give us what you got. The more the better. Something like this, I can see it written up in a few pages with some broad class and ability ideas that can then be used with virtually any system.

>>37776984
Britbongsteros looked like and had the same terrain as regular britbongland. The undead held most of Scotland, Aberdeen was a fortified port city now. Dundee no longer existed. Edinburgh was the heart of the necromantic apocalypse. It was most likely where we would have to go.

Glasgow still stood. Just. Everything else was held along the old antonine wall. The west of England was under assault from what would be Ireland and Welsh barbarians. The barbarians were either Celts of the old stripe (nekkid, blue) and supported by Elder horrors. The Welsh were more beastmen. Half man half something. (I should add I'm sorry Wales).

The barbarians would raid and pillage frequently. In the south England was England. Human until the midlands, dwarves in Yorkshire.

We didn't interact much with the rest of Europe (aside from sinking a German cruiser -different story) but the French women were generally slutty elves. We liked them.

In Buckingham palace we had a faerie Queene (as in actually a faerie). If you've ever watched blackadder, she was basically queenie from that. Childish, capricious, bloodthirsty.

Anyway. The first thing we would have to do to get to Edinburgh was either win the war or learn to fly.

>>37777218
dwarves don't like heights so I naturally favoured winning the war. We returned to our base of operations (and my ancestral home) in Harrogate. The dwarves of the area fearing both the undead and invasion of barbarians had dug in deep. Orderly trenches and bunkers covered the landscape. Artillery in every field, barbed wire spooled out for miles. The dales were now a maginot line. If all the effort put into fortifying DwarfYorkshire had been used in the North the war might have been different. We drove through miles of fortifications. My ancestral home had always been a castle, except now it had cannons.

The greengrocer and navvie worked on interrogating the alchemist.

The alchemists were generally from not Holland and played both sides. Helping the necromancers and us. It was in their interest to do so as they sold arms to both sides. This one knew enough of metallurgy to be of some us.

The bard assisted the wizard and I in planning our next steps.

We would have to get into Edinburgh and get the soul cube (where the little girl was kept) back. killing the necromancer We decided was if not a priority it should still be done on general principles.

>>37777496
If any of you have any questions about britbongsteros just ask

>>37777528
it's not really important but is it
>Alternate universe
or
>Shadowrun-ish with metahumans

>>37774934
Survival.

>>37777528
How'd it get like this? What caused the necromantic apocalypse? What was it like before? What is the rest of the world like, especially European countries?

>>37777496
I placed the stuffed purple penguin on the table. It, and us looked over the map we had spread out.

We couldn't push up from Newcastle to the borders and on to Edinburgh, for one thing it would mean getting through the undead giants in Stirling. We couldn't sail up the west coast and round (Irish barbarians) and we would never survive the east coast, the great kraken and other monsters that had been summoned by the necromancers would rip apart any ship spotted from land without the appropriate magical wards.

We considered going up north through the highlands and back down.

The Grocer (Angus) ran into the room. The alchemists were making a shipment to the Welsh barbarians tonight.

We looked at each other. Those boats had the wards. But the alchemists were not our allies they were neutral...sort of...

We looked at the penguin.

"Lets get ourselves a ship."

>>37774934
>What was your favourite campaign reward?
real life sex my GM was a girl

>>37777635
Shadowrunish. We never really went into it but all the races can interbreed and so you get half whatevers and so on. We just reasoned that it was all extremes of genetics.

>>37777674
>how?
Just always has been. Sort of. Our world was the same until about 15th C but then suddenly *magic* this fuelled science which fuelled magic etc etc. We later discovered why this was. Because of a device at the North Pole which had been keeping the magic from the world. It is there in our world and working. In the world of Britbongsteros it blew up in 1497.

We never learnt who made the device. Or why.

>>37777700
This'd make a kickass webcomic

>>37777674
>Apocalypse
We learnt that it all came from a simple farmer. He tried to make his cows last longer, give more milk. He started to research, obtaining darker and darker books. He succeeded. Completely. His cows were famous. A plague struck his village. His wife died. He reanimated her. Then his children. Then his friends, his neighbours.

What he didn't know was that in our world, necromancery works on a body, giving you the human they were back. Until the brain decays. Then they become first a zombie (with all the face eating and turning others with bites) then a skeleton as the flesh decays. A skeleton bound completely to the will of the necromancer. In our setting skeletons were hard as fuck. Hence the slightly mad weaponry we carried to fight them

>Rest of world?

I've already mentioned most of what came up. The British empire existed. 'Murica was weird -due to an effect of local magic in New York (where the only American we met was from) you had to keep eating, all the time, but if you did, you became incredibly strong and fat.
(Sorry America)

As mentioned France was just all slutty elves. That was good. Germany was a mix like Britbongsteros except that they also had bear people.

>>37777958
I want to steal your setting and draw a comic based on it.
Fuck you that I didn't think of it first. Give me visual details of characters, I might draw some, I want to try out a new style.

>>37774934
The American Government gave my immunity for all past and future crimes, so I fucked off and carved out my own little fiefdom in my homeland of Germany.

They also took the explosives nanites out of my brain, which I was thankful for.

And all I had to do in exchange was hand not-Cadmus all of the not-Justice League's files on not-Superman, not-Wonder Woman and all their other heavy hitters.

>>37778038
Sounds like a good campaign. Wouldplay/10

>>37777843
I can't draw. I would love to narrate it all into a story though. Or a book.

Now more britbongsteros

We left in a hurry, moving on to Liverpool, as we were chartered by the Queen (being sort of like 40K acolytes) we had no trouble obtaining the assistance of a royal navy destroyer. HMS thunderchild (yes that one). With the bard standing on the prow, playing AC/DCs Thunderstruck on the bagpipes (no I don't know how he knew it either but the DM likes ACDC) we set sail. The Thunderchild looked like you'd think a destroyer would. The Alchemists ship when we found her did not. It was a floating nautillus, and fucking huge.

I racked the slide on my newly acquired gatling shotgun, the navvie hefted his hammer, the wizard summoned rotary saws, Angus lit the pilot light on that flamethrower. The bard just...did bard stuff and played on.

The captain of the thunderchild was the best of men. Guns would break the shell of the nautillus and sink her. So we rammed it.

The party boarded, so did the stuffed purple penguin.

The fight was short, gory as all hell too the alchemists being shot, burnt, sawn, hammered and bagpiped to death.

We had our boat. Or at least large living seabeast

My last campaign ended with us getting a gold reward which ended up being not really much money at all because we were high-level adventurers with tens of thousands of gold pieces on hand alone. So, instead we got a silly session which we called our beach episode, where we went to the "Bay of Gaby", did some stupid shit, battled both a gelatinous kraken and an inept bureaucracy, got arrested and sent to the Bay of Gaby Correctional Facility for Homosexual Infants, broke out, and were unable to be arrested again due to the aforementioned bureaucracy having no easy way to deal with a breakout.

>>37778065
It was pretty great and proof that you can make any game good, even if it was run using ICONS.

>>37778011
Well why not start with me.

Aldous Barnstable Findus, III.

A dwarven noble. Clad in plate armour, big beard, a revolver at each hip. Pipe. Covered in cartridge belts and pouches. Grumpy. Gatling shotgun. Over 150 years old.

>>37778221
Oh and one other thing. A purple penguin tucked into a bandolier of shells.

>>37774934
I got a goat, I raised it and took it to the ends of the earth with, me also became my queen for a little while so I could go adventure while it ruled my kingdom. Had to stop saving the elf people cause they tried to assassinate her. Now my goat roams the country with some demon imprisoned in its jewelry

>>37778163

>more britbongsteros

We had no idea how to steer this beast. After a great deal of head scratching, the bard discovered it liked the bagpipes. It would swim in the direction of the sound. If he stood in a rowing boat and played it would follow along behind. It wasn't going to be fast, but we could travel.

Meanwhile the Navvie and I investigated the cargo hold.

It glowed. Weaponized soul cubes. Each containing a tortured soul of a deceased man woman or child. They had been turned into grenades or artillery shells. It was silent in that hold, but it was also full of the sound of screaming.

It was another moral dilemma. Do we release these souls? Or do we us them? The Navvies niece was in something like these...

>>37778387
That great hammer rose and fell. With a smash the first soul was released, then another, and another.

I was concerned though. Even if we saved her, where would we put her? What could we do?

I approached the Wizard, he could perhaps build a mechanical body? Some design or contrivance to carrier her essence? maybe to give her some sort of life?

The answer was (after discussing and rolling) yes sort of. He said he'd have to think, to design. The DM passed him several notes. This was a very bad sign.

>>37778387
>the Navvie
What's a Navvie?

>>37778483
>what is ?
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navvy

>>37778465
MOARPLOX

I'm enjoying it.

>>37775283
That was nice

>>37778465
We were on the west coast now. The Thunderchild accompanied us as far as Wick but could go no further in these waters. We stopped off for a session or two in this area, fighting a horde of mutated kelpies and also Sawney Bean the cannibal and his insane brood. This was awesome but not relevant to our quest. (I am willing to digress however if requested)

>>37778774
>(I am willing to digress however if requested)
Nigga please. You know what to do.

>>37774934
My favorite was meaningful heroic death.

>>37778774
With Sawney and co dead. The quest of the purple penguin continued. We said goodbye to the fortified port of Aberdeen and soon the countryside grew blackened and blasted, the night sky was never dark, skulls and faces played in the northern lights, the Navvie had long conversations with himself. skeletal fish swam in the sea. skinless dolphins played in our bow waves. We entered the Firth of Forth. The sanctified ground of Inchgarvie island was we thought a safe place to rest, to prepare. We were wrong.

My first character got a free Wish every year for the rest of her life.

Her first wish was to be a dragon.

Sucker.

>>37778814
Alright then. The kelpie. (I trust everyone reading knows how to use Google)

We nearly lost Angus here. The kelpie would shapeshift, not just into their usual forms, but they could transform to those you loved, anything to get you into the water so they could drown and consume you.

We first became aware of how shafted we were when I woke up to see my daughter crawling up the side of my bed. She'd been dead for fifty years.
Shooting her hurt as much as the sound of the first spadeful of earth hitting the lid of her coffin.

We couldn't move fast enough to escape them (not with the bard piping in the rowing boat) we had to stop. To kill every single last one.

We shot our mothers, burned our grandfathers, stabbed our brothers, chainsawed our wives, bludgeoned our sons, and still they kept coming.

Telling us twisted truths, secrets that we knew were untrue but with enough to make your finger twitch, your aim unsteady, my daughter told me she had killed herself. The others were all equally and savagely unloved, Angus failed his will save, the kelpie (and his wife) separating him from us, leading him to the water.

It took the Navvies hammer crushing her skull against the deck until Angus started screaming. We had to knock him out. When the kelpies were all dead, we waited for him to wake, when he did, we poured whisky into him until he stopped screaming her name.

The purple penguin and I had some ourselves that night too.

>>37779024
We sailed on. Reaching first Aberdeen (and our wizards home) we stopped off in this fascinating place. The walled city extended to westhill, north to bridge of Don, and south to stonehaven, it was a haven of industry and techno wizardry. The aberdonians could summon machinery and twist steel to their will. The court intrigue we became involved in as we refuelled (fed) our mollusc was short but bloody.

It was my turn to risk death. My moment of weakness. I fell in love.

>>37778825
THIS IS ALL I'VE WANTED OUT OF MY CHARACTERS BUT I NEVER GET IT! Either I die like a bitch or don't die at all

>>37779088
Aberdeen was ruled by seven great families, each with a special affinity for a metal, (iron, gold, silver, copper etc) the wizard was clan iron, and his family had intended for him to be "alloyed" with a girl from the gold clan. He had left the city to win his fortune for her first. She was thrilled to see him. Meanwhile I and the rest of the party ignored the sex he was busily having and instead (I should add we looked everything up on Google maps and just pretended we were there) I went into the merchant quarter With the intention of upgrading my weapons. The rest of the party tagged along for the same reasons.

The DM passes me a note.
>you notice a woman. Tall, redhaired, statueesque you see her in the crowd. Just a moment. She smiles at you. The DM knows I love tall redheads.

"Roll twice" yup you're in love. Congrats.

I followed her into the churchyard, there she was beneath a tree, we talked, she stroked my beard, we kissed. We left, together. It meant I wasn't with everyone else when they discovered that the lead clan were going to sell out the city, or that the copper clan (her clan) were involved.

>>37779283
Shall I continue anons or are you bored yet?

>>37779283
Keep going. I wish I could find games that are as good as this all sounds.

>>37779283
I should tell you a little about the DM at this stage.

>he's a cunt.


So I'm in love. The others discover that the Lead clan are going to open the gates to the undead, and the copper clan are mostly vampires. On The reasoning that I'm busy having sex, they don't mention this.

However the redhead is human, all human. Her boyfriend isn't. He also does not like discovering her straddling an angry and well armed dwarf.

He goes for me. I get shots into him. But not before he tears my left arm off. He tries to beat me to death with it. Eventually he goes down. So do I.

I wake up with a new mechanical arm, and I'm single again.

Meanwhile the party are doing intriguey things and while I learn how my new arm works, they plot and investigate.

We discover they are on to us when my newly vamprisied redhead kicks in the door along with a dozen of her friends and technowizards.

We fight. We win. Just. I am not as accurate as I was. The bard loses an eye to her claws. I resolve to practice more with my new arm.

We bring down the lead clan by killing a family patriarch and then at the funeral, Angus torches the lot of them inside a church. It wasn't pretty but it worked.

>>37779306
Definitely continue I'm sure there's many lurkers and I will soon Screen cap all of this and post it repeatedly in /tg/ storys

>>37779306
Continue, please.

>>37779514
I'm a lurker. It's a good story

>>37779502
which arm is now mechanical? I need to know for...reasons.

Drawfag reasons.

I was rewarded by the Emperor of China for saving his life from a bullet by being sent on a perilous quest far, far away from my beloved library and court life.

I mean, the fact that I blew a demand to come ot him off for two hours to bang my psychotic yandere wife so she wouldn't castrate me might have had something to do with it, but who knows.

>>37779819
Left arm
>>37779502
So we say goodbye to Aberdeen and sail on. We get to Montrose and stop for water. The place is deathly quiet. There's no one. We decide to refill and GTFO. Except the navvie that brave, big hearted bastard says no. We should help. The purple penguin agrees.

We scout around. We don't find anything except skeletons.

We do find some townsfolk eventually. They are terrified of "the eaters" we laugh it off. We say we will stay the night and then take them back to Aberdeen

So the Navvie and I are on first watch. He spots them first. I am busy lighting my pipe.

Cockroaches, beetles, maggots, everything, a river of them. They flow and squirm toward us. They coalesce into a man. Sawney Bean. Bullets do nothing. The hammer doesn't do much The bagpipes are bagpipes. We do have Angus however. Sawney burns good. He flees.

Meanwhile the rest of his cannibal family have broken into the church. They've eaten alive those townsfolk. There's half a woman left (and I mean half vertically) but she's still alive...somehow (they hadn't eaten the brain, just stripped her clean down to the bone on the left side of her navel. I mean everything.

We killed her ourselves (fuck you DM) and decided Sawney must die.

Is anyone capping this? I don't want to bother doing it myself if someone else is

>>37780029
We don't know where he is, where he lives, nothing. There's no tracks to follow, and how would we track a beetle anyway?

we think. We plot. We are out of ideas.

We realise though, the country side is stripped bare, the town is too. The only meat around for miles is....us. so we head into the village square and just sit and wait. We know they're probably watching anyway. Angus has his flamethrower, the wizard makes me flame shells, the bard is the bard. Both the Navvie and the wizard will use their respective skills (techno wizardry and being hueg) to roll flaming barrels of whale oil into them.

It all goes to plan. Mostly.

>>37775020
Read that as "land and titties".

Could work.

>>37780161
Best storytime I've seen since Twodee

>>37780163
"Huge... tracts of land"

>>37780161
There's a big statue in the square. It has steps. We have our backs to it. And here comes sawney (I hate bugs) he and his weird family charge us. Or at least half do. The rest try to get behind us. The navvie and wizard hurl flaming barrels. Angus does his thing. I turn the flaming gatling shotgun on the flankers. The bard...does nothing useful being a bard and plays flower of Scotland Instead.

Thing is, Sawney and co are getting closer faster than we can burn them.

>>37780288
"This might be it lads I'm sorry penguin we might have failed you..."

They start climbing the steps. They're much more material now. Almost solid. Human. The navvie stoves in the lid of a barrel with his fist. He grabs sawney by the throat and rams him into it. The bugs that make up sawney eat his hand clean and the fire does for his arm. But sawney burns good. With him down, his weird family are less organised and start to go down too.

Fuck you Sawney Bean.

the technowizard replaces the second arm in a week.

>>37780401
So we are now down the coast. In the firth of Forth. As per this post above which I'm repeating here for the anon capping
>>37778877
With Sawney and co dead. The quest of the purple penguin continued. We said goodbye to the fortified port of Aberdeen and soon the countryside grew blackened and blasted, the night sky was never dark, skulls and faces played in the northern lights, the Navvie had long conversations with himself. skeletal fish swam in the sea. skinless dolphins played in our bow waves. We entered the Firth of Forth. The sanctified ground of Inchgarvie island was we thought a safe place to rest, to prepare. We were wrong.

It turns out our landing on inchgarvie was observed. we camp. No fire. But we manage to rest.

Then the dead start to rise. Walking out of the sea. Silent legions of them. while they aren't as coordinated as those of the big bad (the power of a necromancer determines how good his skeletona are at fighting) they are still tough. A minor necromancer must be wanting to take us down himself. Thing is, if we open fire, we'll bring everything in the region down on us. We can't let that happen now. Not right now.

So we set about ourselves, hammer, my axe, the wizard with iron bars, Angus with his knife and the bard...I think he hummed rather than piped.

Gliding in over the waves came the necromancer controlling these skellies.He was actually quite helpful all things considered.

"You'll never get what you seek. you'll never make it to Edinburgh castle. You'll nev *HAMMERTOTHEFACE*"
"Thank you you pathetic excuse for a knobdusting emaciated necrophiliac. Now we know where she is."

>>37780647
We proceed in land with the dawn. Leaving our trusty nautillus at inchgarvie. Stealth is the order of the day. We slink through the country side as best we can. Most of it is glassed. As though a nuclear bomb had gone off. No vegetation. Only death. The glass is warm to the touch and slightly sticky.

There is no food. No shelter. Nothing. No sound. No birds. Nothing.

We make it to Edinburgh. The city is intact. Rebuilt so that upon each hill is a necromancers tower. Green glowing energy emanating from each. We look up. There's the castle. We know what the purple penguin excpects of us.

The castle is the only tower without that green light. The wizard tells us it is because the others are locked in a ritual. Only the big bad and our target is not. Meaning we only have one opponent. And several million of his minions.

Here's the caps so far, so don't worry, someone is doing it

>>37780801
We get into the city via the sewers and a twenty minute OOC debate on how clean they would be (undead don't poop).We get to where Waverly station would be. We are able (thanks to technowizard) to ascend the cliff and get over the wall. We go loud when Angus takes an arrow to the shoulder. Suddenly skeletons. Skeletons everywhere. The bard finally has an idea. "This is Edinburgh castle. They have an artillery piece here they use to shoot every day to mark the time. We have several necromancers stuck in a ritual who can't move And have green fire telling us where they are."

This is the most useful thing the player and character have ever done.

We make for the gun. Technowizard aims loads and fires. We fight and fight on. Covering him as we end the necromantic menace (DM looks unhappy as we crush his campaign) The purple penguin approves.

>>37780932
ugh I saved it as a .jpg I'll rectify that now

>>37780955
We fight on atop the battlements, green fire flashing in the darkness as the wizard brings down tower after tower. The hammer smashing skeletons. The gatling shotgun annhilating skellies, the bard goes back to being useless but does manage to play Queen's princes of the universe on a natural 20. Angus burns the skellies. This is the most metal moment of my life. The stuffed purple penguin agrees and says we must rock harder.

>>37781052
>Queen's princes of the universe on a natural 20
>rock harder

There is nothing harder in the known universe.

What happened to that drawfag?

>>37781158
probably drawfagging

>>37781189
Fingers crossed

>>37781158
patience nigga, nearly done

>>37781052
The necromancer comes his belt is full of soul cubes. They're powering him. One goes dark and he tosses it aside even as we watch. We don't know which is her. We don't know if she's even in there. The purple penguin demands he die.

He draws his arms up. The skeletons we have slain come together again,forming a giant creature, the Navvie leaps from the battlements. Hammer held high. Angus plays fire across the giant. I do my best to tickle it with eight solid slugs a second, the techowizard turns the gun. Slowly, the Navvie hangs in mid air as the necromancer zaps magic at him.

Our wizard fires the gun. Down goes giant. The Navvie is getting closer to the necromancer. By sheer force of will he is resisting the magic and continuing his path. He lands cracking a flagstone. The hammer goes up. The hammer comes down. The necromancer laughs and inhales a soulcube. "These are why you came , this is what you want. She's not here. I ate her weeks ago. she was delicious. " The hammer goes up. "You'll never get her back" the hammer comes down.

>>37781231
Don't forget the penguin most based of drawfags

>>37781231

>>37781240
We realise he's right. Even as we bring down his empire. He is right. This was all for nothing. This was...

>FUCKINGCOCKDABBLINGARSEMONGLER

The navvie hits him again, and again,

>SHITSPEWINGCUNTSPELUNKER

The necromancers skull turns to dust. The legions of skeletons fall to the earth.

One soul cube left. It's...it flickers....just...still life in it. The Navview picks it up.

"Uncle?"
It flickers.
"I'm here. I'm here now."
I put her penguin next to it.
"I knew you'd come..."

The light goes out.

>>37781393
>"I knew you'd come..."
>The light goes out.

Dem feels, legit choked up for a sec. Fuck you for making me feel!

>>37781393
And that is how she got her penguin back. even if just for a moment.

I still have him. He was on my belt when we sunk the German ship. He was with us when we ended the Welsh barbarians. He is in all of us.
He is, the stuffed purple penguin.

>>37781460
Nice story friend.

A magic sword that my character retrieved from his own tomb. The swords history is that my character retrieves it from the tomb, fights a lifetime of battles with it, dies, and it is placed on his tomb where his past self can retrieve it.

It's made of paradoxes and potential universes that have been unmade by choices in the "prime" universe.

>>37781393
Damn good story there, anon.

>>37775283
Dude, that was amazing. Are there anymore?

>>37781606
There is more. The cruiser was fun. I will tell you all that story next time perhaps. Or the trip to France. Or Wales. Or Ireland, or the time we saved the queen, or the time we killed her.

>>37781231
I also should have said, you got him basically spot on. Most excellent drawfaggotry

>>37774934
It was Dark Heresy I was able to become King of the backwater feudal shit hole that my character was from. Now if only he could stop drinking and whoring and doing everything in his power to kill the FUCKING ELVES!

He hated Eldar but was probably the character I had the most fun playing He was also the brosiest

>>37782276
Glad to hear it. I hope you like the finished product.

>>37782644
Sick draw, was worth staying up for. The rhyme is unintentional.

>>37782751
Epic cap, thanks for your efforts, capbro

>>37782644
This is pure win. Can describe the other characters if you like?

>>37782119
All of the above

>>37782842
Yeah, cool. I won't get them done today, my shift is starting, but the more detail the better.

Also this:
>>37782934

>>37782953
>Burt the Navvie.
6'4, dark tan shirt, trousers in black, flat cap, waistcoat. Neckerchief. Yes they wore this. Huge hammer,

>Angus
A bit fat, singed, butchers apron, gloves, goggles, is an orc.

>the Bard
A pretty standard piper.

>the wizard
Tall, thin, big hat, cape. Think Victorian gentleman going to the opera. Also floating chainsaws>>37782777

>>37783257
I also meant to say thank you capbro but it got partially eaten

>>37783257
Oops also meant to say thanks for the cap but it looks like my post got mangled a bit

>>37783336
>>37783276
Oh dear. Fuck you captcha. Is it spontaneously spazzing on everyone or just me tonight?

>>37782777
>>37783276
I can safely say I did for myself, no problemo though.
>>37783371
It was being dodgy for me aswell

Bump for the crazy Britbongsteros stories

Got Vecna's job, then started antagonizing the Raven Queen because that's what Vecna would do.

>>37781796
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/614702 and https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1862188728/the-reward-tales-of-alethrion is the kickstarter. They didn't reach the goal tier to make their own tabletop version of the world, but let's hope they do it anyway.

>>37786112
Fuck. It's probably the first time I smiled or laughed at something on the Internet in months.

The knowledge that I was finally able to figure out a use for a bag of holding full of skeletons.

Don't die on me!

Its britbonganon here, if I have time tonight or in the next few days I shall return and story time some more, just look out for britbongsteros in the catalogue.

I got to marry the captain guard's daughter.
It was awesome.
Until-
http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2m8gp&page=6?Ask-Kyra-Sief-Al-Kiraan-All-Your-Questions-Here#256
well, you can just read up on it here.
Still an awesome waifu though.

>>37791531
You glorious motherfucker, we'll be waiting.

My Guardsman captain serving the Inqusition was resurected by the Emperor (actually just his power armour's trauma system kicking in) and he went on to retrain the Death Corps under his command to show the single emotion of Righteous wrath. He went on to command a regiment of the most zealous Guardsmen you've ever seen across the stars in the God-Emperor's name.

>>37774934
Legendary boons/feats. I'd much rather have the ability to cast Shocking Grasp 2/day due to some divine or magiscientific phenomena than have a wand of Fireball. Perhaps it's just me, but I like it when my character is powerful, not some normal guy with tons of gear that powers him up.

>>37774934

Pets! In particular if they can hold their own weight. Are are weird/huge/cute or any combination of the three.

>>37791531
Britbonganon is now posting over here:
>>37794342

I stand by a pair of obnoxiously large, elaborately carved marble doors as my best campaign reward yet. The characters carried them (and their dead) back to town and made plans to construct a building to fit them.