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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.37633025 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Things you can say to your GM but not your girlfriend.

>> No.37633051

Nothing, because I don't have a GM or a girlfriend.

>> No.37633056

pretty much everything.

>> No.37633057

Rape is the answer to every problem.

>> No.37633064

>>37633051

That pain is cutting a little too close to home, Anon.

>> No.37633075

>>37633051

>> No.37633080

>>37633025

>You need to lose weight.
>You need to shave more.
>I hate your friends.
>Of course it'll fit, just let me power through.

>> No.37633082

Will you let me cheat if I bribe you with pizza?

>> No.37633083

>>37633025
"I lance her from behind for extra damage."

>> No.37633084

>>37633025
"Is it alright if I try to seduce the barmaid?"

>> No.37633148

"I love you"

I don't have a girlfriend or the gust to confess to the girl I like. On the other hand, me and my GM are always spouting bullshit to each other, so a little joke about homosexuality isn't new.

>> No.37633156

>>37633025
I trust you

>> No.37633282

"Before we start, let me figure out my anal circumference. I know there's a formula for this somewhere."

>> No.37633442

>>37633025
"You're wrong"

>> No.37633452

>>37633051

Get an online game, ya fucking idiot. This is TG, do you know how many fucking threads there are offering games? Or, what, are you going to be one of those neckbeards who go "I - I'm waiting for the right game."?

Fucking pleb.

>> No.37633461

>>37633025

Suck mah dick.

Oh wait..

>> No.37633474

Can I roll for penetration type?

>> No.37633485

>>37633148

> Implying love has to involve homosexuality.

>> No.37633530

>>37633485
It hasn't, and I love my GM as a friend. He's a great guy. But I meant love as in "romantic feeling", and if I love my GM in a romantic way, both being guys, that means I'm gay, or at least bisexual.

>> No.37633545

>>37633156

So many feels

>> No.37633557

>>37633025
I'm going to skip today's game because I picked up this one chick but if my girlfriend asks can you say that I was at the game? I'll bring beer and snacks next week.

>> No.37633588

>>37633530

You know, I was just attempting to troll you in passing, but it's rare that people understand the concept of actually loving someone platonically.

You dun good,bro.

>> No.37633982

>>37633025
what do you want for dinner?

>> No.37634041

>>37633982
I'll cook.

>> No.37634139

>>37634041
>Not cooking for your gf
For shame

>> No.37634191

>>37633025

"I just came so hard."

>> No.37634205

>>37634139
>man
>going into kitchen

fucking lmao now make me a sandwich

>> No.37634259

>>37634205
>jokes that were played out 5 years ago

>> No.37634294

>>37634205
>trusting a stranger on the internet to not poison your food

>> No.37634325

>>37634205
>be 13 year old me
>see Hubert Keller do awesome things with a knife
>want to do crazy knife skills
>mfw when mom can do crazy knife skils
>learn how to break down a chicken in undrer 5 minuets
>be older me
>living in an apartment, can cook for 10+ people without having to to take out.

>> No.37634427

>>37633051
id gm for you anon

>>37633025
you give the best head(sic)

>> No.37634833

>>37633025
She has huge tits right? You can't have a flatchest cowgirl, she has to have cowtits

>> No.37634933

>>37633051

>>37633064
Same here

>> No.37635022

>>37633025
I roll to hit.

>> No.37635988

>>37633025
So yeah, I want to fuck his ass.

>> No.37636020

Ah ha! But that is my fetish!

>> No.37636141

>>37633588
>it's rare that people understand the concept of actually loving someone platonicall

You mean like they're a barely pubescent boy and you're a middle-aged neckbeard?

>> No.37636754

I'm glad you aren´t imaginary.

>> No.37636790

I'm getting really tired of this game we're playing.

>> No.37637055

>>37633025
Before we get going, we'll need to find a horse. Oh, a pony for the dwarf.

>> No.37637582

Penis wrinkle. I can call someone a penis wrinkle in front of my GM. I cannot, on pain of death, say penis wrinkle in front of my girlfriend.

>> No.37637609

>>37633025
I had a good time tonight

>> No.37637706

>>37637609
Kek

>> No.37638095

>>37633025
You better watch out, I know about timed hits.

>> No.37638601

I always enjoy hanging out with you

>> No.37639231

>>37633025
Anything I can't tell the girlfriend, because I'm always the GM these days and I dont like online games.

Though, in the near future, my girlfriend might be my GM. In which case, the answer there will be "Nothing".

>> No.37639259

>>37633025
"You know, the idea of an entire species of shota catboys gives me a boner"

>> No.37639365

what the barbarian is thinking in between fights.

>> No.37639403

You are real.

>> No.37639431

>>37639365
I wish I could read :(

>> No.37639438 [DELETED] 

so ps3 bro's gonna be around later for a vog run?
I understand if we are still burnt out from crota.

>> No.37639450

>>37639365
"..........."

>> No.37639469

>>37639365
"What is best in life, anyway?"

>> No.37639487

>>37639365
I'll bet I can fart on everyone in the party before they wake up tomorrow.

>> No.37639543

>>37639365
Damn, my asshole itches...... I should get some mead..... Mead is so tasty...... WAAARREGAAAERRBBJHLLLFUUUUUCCCCKKKKKYOOOOOUUUUU..... Oh hey, where did all these dead bodies come from....... I should open a tavern

>> No.37639594

>>37639365
Haha, I'm the best party member. These little jerks would be dead without me!

>> No.37639646

>>37634205

Your virgin is showing.

>> No.37639770

>>37636141
Philia versus agape

>> No.37640075

>>37639770
Agape is what his ass will be after a night of "Platonic Brotherly Loving"

>> No.37640162

"Roll for anal circumference"

>> No.37640186

>>37639770
philia, storge, or agape versus eros

>> No.37640903

My GM is my girlfriend.

>> No.37641114

>>37640903
>no compartmentalization

>> No.37641337

>>37633025
"Hold on. My wife is calling"

>>37639365
"My great axe weighs 10 kilos, and I reliably swing in an overhead chop at 2.15 meters per second, so if I got the blacksmith to add another 3 kilos and an extra 50 cm of lenth to the shaft, I could potentially swing with the force of... "

>> No.37641441

>>37633025
"No."

>> No.37641498

>>37633025
"I got a nat 20. I don't have to listen to what you say right now."

>> No.37641642

>>37633025
"So, I shove the Power Sword up the Daemonette's ass. The third one, with the teeth."

We're close friends, my group.

>> No.37641678

>>37639365
>FUCK THE CLERICS COMIN' STRAIGHT OUT THE UNDERGROUND
>YOUNG TWIGGER GOT IT BAD 'CAUSE I'M BROWN
>AND NOT THE OTHER COLOR SO THE MATRIARCHS THINK
>THAT THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO KILL A MINORITY

>> No.37641692

>>37641114
Oh, she'll get compartmentalized all right...

>> No.37641719

>>37641337

Barbarian you bad.

>> No.37641722

>>37639365
>My feet hurt
>This party is too Lawful
>My axe isn't big enough
>I wish I was off being a murderhobo right now

>> No.37642030

>>37633025
We're playing [RPG] tonight, right?

>never had a gf who gamed

>> No.37645776

>>37639365
I wish I were fighting right now.

>> No.37645781

>>37633025
It ain't gonna suck itself

>> No.37649573

>>37639365
"Why does armor make it harder for me to get angry?"

>> No.37650215

World's Worst Wizard

>> No.37650278

>>37650215
Someone who can only draw comedy improv themes from a hat. No rabbits.

>> No.37650288

>>37650215
"Dare you enter my MAGICAL REALM?"

>> No.37650336

>>37650215
"I don't really do the whole 'spell' thing."

>> No.37650375

>>37650215
'Grogtok mighty wizard! Grogtok am king of fire!'

>> No.37650415

>>37650215
"I'm actually a warlock."

>> No.37650437

>>37650215
"I only use organic, free-range spell components."

>> No.37650453

>>37650215
"I have so many spell slots ever since I chose ALL schools to be barred!"

>> No.37650476

>>37650215
"Let's try being sensible for once."

>> No.37650490

>>37650215
"I don't know guys, this seems morally wrong. And dangerous."

>> No.37650596

>>37650215
"I will refuse to cast anything if it could possibly harm another living, nonliving, or somewhat sentient being... unless that being is a party member and I feel they need to be stopped."

>> No.37650607

>>37650215

"We found her in the park shooting sparks everywhere, figured she would be a good addition to our party of archeologists"

>> No.37650621

>>37650215
Christian Weston Chandler.

>> No.37650639

>>37650215
"Hey guy's I'm playing a sorcerer, this way I can remember all my spells!"

>> No.37650640

I'm having a lot of fun.

>> No.37650673

>>37650215
"At last, I have discovered the secrets of the forbidden art of lolimancy."

>> No.37650675

>>37633025
I really like your friends.

>> No.37650783

>>37650215
"Guys! Guess what? I just lost my virginity!"

>> No.37650882

>>37650215
>World's Worst Wizard
what do mean that didn't... ...OOOOH! that spell causes the target get NEGATIVE levels, sorry about that... ...my bad...

>> No.37650891

>>37640186
I think we can rule out storge

>> No.37651165

Alright, let's keep it moving with

"When critical hits go wrong"

>> No.37651272

>>37651165

>Roll 1 for style

Plaid and Polka dots were made for eachother.

>> No.37651394

>>37651165
It was supposed to be a joke, I didn't know Smite could actually trigger through my dick, oh god, no evil deserves that.

>> No.37651501

>>37651165
>Roll to see how triggered you made the elf.
>20

>they have now turned you into the avatar for satan and entire social justice movements vie for your assassinaton.

>> No.37651609

>>37640075
Ahahahaaaaaa

>> No.37651708

>>37633025
"Sir"

>> No.37652260

>>37650215
"Wingardium Leviosa"

>> No.37652555

>>37651165
>party goes to an inn and orders steak
>it's a little tough

>party gets thrown out for the steak-gibs everywhere

>> No.37652890

>>37651165
>"I cast fireball at the dryads"
>rolls
>"Your party is consumed by the raging forest fire"

>> No.37652943

>>37651165
>Nat 20 stab with a spear against a drow cleric
And now the rogue sneaking up behind her needs healing.

>> No.37653583 [SPOILER] 

>>37651165
FUCKING DAMN IT!

Okay, I know it's vidya, but it's the first thing that came to mind

>> No.37654448

>>37636790
Underrated Post.

>> No.37654500

>>37633082
I can actually get away with this one.

>> No.37654707

>>37650783
Don't remind me....

>> No.37654731

>>37637582

... this feels really oddly specific. Under what circumstances did you find out your girlfriend had an issue with penis wrinkles?

>> No.37654743

>>37651165

"Remember, it's first to draw blood!"
* nat 20*
"I DREW IT FROM YOUR GAPING THROAT, YOU SON OF A WHORE."

>> No.37654768

>>37633452
Uncalled For.

>> No.37654861

>>37650278
Underrated post.

>> No.37655014

>>37651165
>Be Fighter
>Use Great Cleave to kill several enemies at once
>Get to the last one, fellow Fighter is next to me now
>Nat1
>“Alright... Roll for attack "
>Nat20
>Fuck
>Shit
>“Roll for damage...“
>1
>“... You hit your partner and now his shoulder is dislocated“

>> No.37655296

>>37654500
Storytime?

>> No.37655419

"I had fun. We should do that again."

>> No.37655560

"Suck my dick, nerd!"

>>
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