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[ERROR] No.37584635 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Food for thought: It's likely that at least one Astropathic Choir has had to act as a relay for the equivalent of phone-sex for a lonely Lord Captain in the Expanse.

>> No.37584868

>>37584635
tieing up the resources like that sounds like grounds for execution not hersy but still in no way allowed

>> No.37584891

>>37584635
Probably.
Though in all likelihood there will have been significantly more cases of the Lord-Captain porking the odd highly attractive rating.

>> No.37584903

>>37584868
In other words exactly what someone would do if they could.

Man I've seen people tie chickens to the radar array on our ship to see if it would cook oit.

>> No.37584905

>>37584635
That would be way too slow for phone sex. Besides, what's your crew of 10.000+ for?

>> No.37584927

>>37584903
Man, people used to stand in front of radar transmitters because it was warm. I wouldn't blame my phone if it fell to chaos, I'd just try to kill it before it said too much.

>> No.37584929

>>37584905

> "Okay I've gotten her reply, Lord Captain."
> "WELL TELL ME MAN, DID SHE PUT THE FROSTING ON HERSELF OR NOT?! I'VE BEEN EDGING FOR DAYS!"
> "Uh... Yes Lord Captain. Which, by the way, you could have just been masturbating in your own quarters this entire time instead of right here in the middle of the choir."
> "NEVER MIND THAT. SEND HER A PICTURE OF THIS."
> "...you want me to make it bigger?"
> "...YES."

>> No.37584934

>>37584903
Did it work?

>> No.37585197

>>37584934
it makes popcorn in an instant

>> No.37585532

>>37584929
So wait.
You're telling me astropaths are 40k's Photoshop?
That makes a surprising amount of sense.

>> No.37585552

>>37584635
Crotch Bulge

>> No.37585568

>>37585552
yes yes she has a duck we all see it

>> No.37585789

>>37585552

Least it's not as noticeable as this one. Someone (or muju himself) should really do a non-futa version for all those times when he/she/it isn't.

>> No.37585865

>>37585789
>times when
>isn't

I'm trying to wrap my mind around this, but it just doesn't make sense.

>> No.37585881

>>37585865

Welcome to Chaos. Your complementary hat and whore is by the door. In the case you wish to kill the whore instead there is an axe by the coat hanger.

>> No.37585914

>>37584929

>> No.37586872

>> No.37587132

>>37585532
They are like human cell phones. Give them a data packet and they convert it to their form of coded message, breaking it down into the astropathic version of 1's and 0's. Then they scream it into the warp with the cipher of the intended astropth hacked on.

Or they do a general ping which is usually

"HELP! THE ORKS, OF GOD THE ORKS!"

>> No.37587331

>>37584905
And that kind of thing isn't even frowned upon either! Generations of people live on those ships. You're just re-stocking the crew.

>> No.37589117

>>37584929
Anyone who did not read that in Brian Blessed's voice is a heretic and a mutant

>> No.37591997

>>37584891
>the odd highly attractive rating.
>tfw you will never be an eager young Rating in the Imperial Navy with a crush on your Lord-Captain, unwilling to make an advance because it would be improper for a mere Rating to reach so high above his station on his own initiative
>tfw your Lord Captain will never grow to respect your keen mind and enjoy discussing with you everything from the great Imperial philosophers to the great Admirals of the past, and so on
>tfw your Lord Captain will never come to your quarters during the shipboard night cycle in need of companionship and comfort on the anniversary of her first love's death

>> No.37592198

>>37584635
>smoking
God dammit.
How come people that will have sex with anyone are always smokers/junkies

>> No.37592555

>>37589117
>Brian Blessed
>not BRIAN BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you sir are a disappointment to us all

>> No.37592725

>>37592198

Well, that is meant to be Slaanesh, you know, the whole "sex, drugs, and general hedonism" chaos god.
At least it's what the 40kids have turned Slaanesh into. Fucking dumbing down the chaos gods man...

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