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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.37465629 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I've been going board to board searching for the funniest greentexts, pictures, and pieces of history they have to offer.

I come here to you guys today.

/tg/ humor thread?

My appoligies for the unrelated picture, I lack any /tg/ humor in my files

>> No.37466838

is nobody interested? I guess I'll drop a few things to start this off

>> No.37466924

This is also partially /ck/.

>> No.37466947

An oldie.

>> No.37466984

>>37466924
I was about to post that one

I don't know if this happened on /tg/ (probably not) but stuff like this still happens all the time here

>> No.37466991

>> No.37467562

>>37465629

>> No.37468214

>>37465629

>> No.37468790

>>37465629
Here's one.

>> No.37468928

>>37467562
I dun geddit.

>> No.37468939

>>37466838
>"Is it because I am so big that you think I am so stupid?"

Read that in Heavy Weapon's Guy voice. Can never unhear it now.

>> No.37469212

>>37466924
was the recipe ever posted? Is it likely they just drank a whole load of laxative?

>> No.37469279

>>37468790
Wommblosis

>> No.37469413

>>37469279
Goddamnit anon, I'm already depressed enough from trying to muscle through dishonored.
I don't need more children put in bags and killed because they're sick.

>> No.37469429

One I haven't seen around in a while.

>> No.37469480

Nobody's posted this yet

>> No.37469513

>>37468928
It's about Lord of the Rings I think. Fourth age = age of man

>> No.37469624

>> No.37469741

>>37465629

>> No.37469910

>>37469741

>> No.37469963

>>37469910
And

>> No.37470047

I've been waiting for this day. Commencing dump.

>> No.37470068

>> No.37470119

>> No.37470150

>> No.37470153

>>37470047

>> No.37470164

>>37465629
I think i've got some good /tg/ screencaps OP lemme dig a few up for you

>> No.37470183

>> No.37470196

>>37470164

>> No.37470211

>> No.37470247

Moving as quickly as I can. This wait time between posts is a motherfucker.

>> No.37470252

>>37470196

>> No.37470273

>> No.37470311

>> No.37470329

>>37470252

>> No.37470339

>> No.37470342

>>37470273
holy shit my sides

>> No.37470380

>>37470329

>> No.37470382

>> No.37470414

Here's a nice long one.

>> No.37470441

Not sure if this one was /tg/, but it sure felt like it.

>> No.37470461

>> No.37470485

>> No.37470489

>>37470380
Thats all I got for directly related /tg/ humor. I will now delve into the more /tg/-related humor.

>> No.37470494

>>37470441

looks like your average /co/ thread, m8

>> No.37470507

>> No.37470541

>>37470494
This does not surprise me in the least. Still funny.

>> No.37470547

>>37469480
I'm still impressed this guy managed to suplex a dragon.

>> No.37470549

>>37470489
Based Rider is always related.

>> No.37470622

A classic if there ever was one, and a nice way to finish my dump. Will return and post more if I can be assed to organize my /tg/ folder more thoroughly.

>> No.37470630

>>37470549

>> No.37470647

>> No.37470653

>>37470150
You know, someone should totally do a campaign like that.

An evil, sentient rollercoast who lives beneath the city and who has discovered its new master. Who uses it for evil.

>> No.37470673

>> No.37470684

>>37470247
Jesus christ that's diabolical.

>> No.37470711

>> No.37470758

>> No.37470759

>>37470630

>> No.37470812

>>37470653
Mr.Bones is not tied down by ideals such as "good" or "evil". Mr.Bones, my dear anon, is a force of nature. As old as creation itself, possibly even older. Mr.Bones is a universal constant. I like to imagine sometimes that upon the heat death of the universe, all who were alive in the end will be transported to Mr.Bone's wild ride. For if he cannot have us in life, then he will take us in death.

>> No.37470833

>> No.37470878

>>37470441
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aMD6oarTWA

>> No.37470905

>>37469963
Every damn time

>> No.37470973

>>37470833
I love it.

>> No.37471038

>>37470833
Something about having someone's first name as their rank just sounds hilarious to me.

>But Lieutenant...
>"No need to be so formal, call me Sergeant."

That's it, next character I make even vaguely with some kind of ranking system is going to be Major Sergeant.

>> No.37471104

>>37465629

>> No.37471135

>>37471104

>> No.37471139

>> No.37471171

>>37471135

>> No.37471188

>>37471104
>Double Ninja

Thank you sir, may I have another?

>> No.37471195

>>37471171

>> No.37471229

>>37471195

>> No.37471253

>>37471229
>>37471188
so many.

>> No.37471277

>>37471253

>> No.37471280

>> No.37471293

>>37471277

>> No.37471329

>>37471293

>> No.37471366

>>37471329

>> No.37471398

>>37471366
this is the thread that brought me to /tg/.

>> No.37471440

>>37471398
part 2

>> No.37471474

>>37471440
Now back to your usual program...

>> No.37471489

>> No.37471514

>>37471398
>>37471440

Here's the version I have saved.

>> No.37471526

>> No.37471552

>>37471474

>> No.37471586

>>37471514
thanks man.

>> No.37471627

>>37471586
>>37471552

>> No.37471654

>>37471627

>> No.37471715

>>37471654

>> No.37471725

>>37471038
Why not Major Major Major Major?

>> No.37471744

>>37471715

>> No.37471769

>>37471715
That poor paladin.

>> No.37471788

>>37471725
Reminds me of one character my group had before I joined.

A man by the name of Dunken D. Dunkenson III
The D stood for Dunken

>> No.37471830

>>37471744

>> No.37471870

>>37471830

>> No.37471938

>>37471038
Major Major Major Major?

>> No.37472410

>>37471870
Damn that's harsh

>> No.37474126

>>37471744
That shit's fucking great. I love it.

>> No.37474402

>>37472410
>>37474126
>>37471870
i'm back by popular demand then I guess.

>> No.37474445

>>37474402

>> No.37474468

>>37466924
I feel their pain. I used to love those things, but for some reason they cause me stomach problems.

>> No.37474490

>>37474402
I can help!

>> No.37474509

>>37474490

>> No.37474540

>>37474509

>> No.37474579

>>37474445
>>37474490
thanks! I stopped posting because I got bored of being the only one.

>> No.37474616

>>37474579

>> No.37474643

>>37474616

>> No.37474664

>>37470247
Oh hey, someone screen capped my potted plant gag. Neato.

>> No.37474683

>>37474643

>> No.37474738

>>37474683

>> No.37474765

>>37474664
How did it turn out?
>>37474738

>> No.37474774

>>37474579
Ok, isn't this the precursor to "AND WE SPENT THE WHOLE GAME COCKBLOCKING AN ELF!" post?

>> No.37475021

Hey can someone post the 'Dear Emper' story as well as the Dreadnought bedtime story plox and ty? I may've missed them though.

>> No.37475240

>>37475021
This one?

>> No.37475271

>>37474765
Unfortunately, they all wound up being not able to come for some reason or another. I'd like to think it was the potted plant threat looming over them, but I knew them all in real life, and they had valid reasons.

My new groups are kinda meh. One is straight up murderhobo (Party ignored my advice of taking a safe path literally so they could stab some sleeping soldiers who would have never bothered us otherwise), and the other party is the push-n-prod type. The type that doesn't do anything unless you tell them that's what they did. Seriously, I spent a good 10 minutes just basically talking to myself in a part I expected them to explore or ask questions about.

I miss that old group.

I DID put in the potted plant gag into a microlite d20 fungeon of mine, but I only have about half of it written out. I have most of the solid ideas, it just needs finishing touches and whatnot.

>> No.37475286

>>37475240
Yeah! Thanks!

If you have the Dear Emper one that would be fantastic

>> No.37475323

>>37471715
That's grade a movie material.

>> No.37475338

>>37475271
... I would have used Speak With Plants on the potted plants.

>> No.37475355

>>37475338
I don't think they ever tried that, but the plant wouldn't have really said anything to reveal the trap. I mean, c'mon.

"Hi! I'm a potted plant!"
>Trap springs

>> No.37475381

>>37475355
>not having the potted plant just start cackling like a madman, or possibly giving bloodcurdling screams

>> No.37475391

>>37475381
Little too on the nose.

>> No.37475504

>>37475338

>The spell fails.
"Wait, what? It's a plant, I can cast Speak with Plants on it."
>It fails. Roll perception.

>...You notice that one of the stalks seems to have suckers on it. It moves. Roll initiative.

>> No.37475820

>>37475391
Just heavy breathing.

>> No.37476252

One of the classics.

>> No.37476297

>>37476252
And my personal favourite.

>> No.37476418

>>37468939
>"Is it because I am so big that you think I am so stupid?"

>> No.37477393

Those tricksy flies

>> No.37477613

This is how I <10 INT

>> No.37477719

>> No.37477984

One of my personal favorites.

>> No.37478304

>>37477984
>Shoggy the Seldom Dog

Oh hey, that pet!

>> No.37478506

>> No.37478525

>>37477984
Ferk, wrong image. Still done by the same author though.

What I wanted to post was this
>Shane the Shy

>> No.37478534

>> No.37478554

>> No.37478566

>>37477984
>>37478304
I remember there being a whole set of stories, either of you hot the rest?

>> No.37478590

>>37478566
Shane the Shy's already posted above, here's the Potato of Faithâ„¢.

>> No.37478609

>>37465629
This one could also fit with /pol/

>> No.37478698

>>37465629
Does anyone have a screenshot of that guy playing a wizard and there's a ranger in his party called dick dickenson who never hits anything and always start masturbating, and ends up defeating the BBEG and ruining his plan by masturbating at the end.

The story's really well written and sounded like a fun time even with That Guy

>> No.37478777

captcha: falus

>> No.37479523

>>37474774
Looks like the same campaign, but this one was posted slightly earlier.

>> No.37480067

>>37470485
That DM was an ass, but I love this anyways.

>> No.37480071

>>37470329
I'm still impressed by the amount of truth sounding things woven into this tapestry of bullshit.

>> No.37480198

>>37469279
You're fucking killing me anon.

>> No.37480294

>>37480198
Shh it will all be over soon.

>> No.37480474

>>37478698
it got posted earlier
>>37470414

>> No.37481086

>> No.37481108

>>37481086

>> No.37481124

>>37481108
This is a continuation of the one about the monk supplying the dragon, by the way.

>> No.37481135

>>37481124

>> No.37481141

>>37481135

>> No.37481157

>>37481141

>> No.37481179

>>37481157

>> No.37481243

>>37469513
>>37468928
he wasn't talking about the lord of the rings one.

and i seem to miss the reference. if its about star trek kirk, its not that funny?

>> No.37481371

>>37470196
oh wow thats gold

>> No.37481431

>>37481179

>> No.37481545

>>37481157
he asked for stuff that was funny

>> No.37481564

>>37466924
>tfw laxatives taste good

>> No.37481876

>>37470150
I am fucking crying my eyes out in laughter over this

>> No.37481965

>>37469741
'ey! Those pinchers gone and done made of with me sides!

>pic related for the entire thread.

>> No.37482172

>>37470047
>Kryptofuck

>> No.37482341

>>37471474
>the baby rock has a vagina

>> No.37483284

>>37481431
I like this explanation for why human mages are rare.

Most people have a sense of self-preservation. The rest are likely to die learning magic because their teacher is insane.

>> No.37485362

>>37468928
Apparently, everyone everywhere has to have seen the same television. Even though the original was shit and references won't mention where it's from.

Star Trek (in fact, any aspect of old popular culture you're attached to) are not relevant any more. They aren't something "everybody" has to know about.

You might be able to make a case for knowing Shakespeare (possibly), but Star Trek isn't an important aspect of culture. Also, ease off of the western anglocentrism.

>> No.37485793

>>37465629

>> No.37486073

Anyone posted the horse anus one (you know the one I mean, no, THE GOOD one about horse anuses)

>>37470441
>>37470494

Yeah, I'd know that heart fondling fetish anywhere.

>>37471280

I have A screencap of that, but I swear everytime I see someone else post it, it somehow has more drawfaggotry with it than the last time.

>> No.37486081

>>37470183
Oh God, I miss those threads. What brought me to /tg/ in the first place.

>> No.37486121

No one's Catan'd yet?

>> No.37486140

>> No.37486169

>> No.37486521

>>37481086
Theres more to Krod than that.

>> No.37486579

>>37465629
/int/ is a fucking screenshot goldmine

>> No.37486657

You learn something everyday on /tg/

>> No.37486701

>> No.37486720

>> No.37486861

>>37486701
>Lawful good

>> No.37486955

>>37486657

Dere's the horse anus one I was expecting, praise duh tsun.

>> No.37486973

>>37486720
>/tg/ will never get you a gf
feels batman

>> No.37486992

>> No.37487019 [DELETED] 

>> No.37487054

>>37487019

Goddammit, didnt' realise that was lewd, thought it was some bug-girl thread.

>> No.37487104

>> No.37487336

>>37470833
This was beautiful

>> No.37487407 [DELETED] 

>>37466924
That ones from /tg/.

>> No.37487416

>> No.37487466

>>37485362
I was kind of with you until the last sentence, now I know it's a troll post.

>> No.37487575

>>37471280

That takes me back.

>> No.37487640

>> No.37487905

>>37465629
anyone got the "moot created /tg/" pic? It's our history.

>> No.37488066

A personal favorite.

>> No.37488109

>>37470247
>Potted plants
+
>>37486720
>Gor
=
Pic related

>> No.37488192

>>37487905

>> No.37488256

>>37488109
>Potted plants + Gor
Potted Plor?

>> No.37488271

>>37488109

That reminds me, does anyone have anything from a thread involving dryads being turned on by salads?

>> No.37488386

>> No.37488398

>>37470150
What is the Mr.Bones picture that guy posted in this one?

>> No.37488724

>> No.37488745

>>37488724

>> No.37488834

>>37487640
Got the original thread for that?

>> No.37488928

>> No.37488950

>>37488834
Nah sorry, anybody else is fair game to post it if it exists.

>> No.37488955

>> No.37488978

>>37470311
This is now my mantra.

>> No.37489009

>>37488745

>> No.37489036

>>37489009

>> No.37489136

>>37468939
My thought exactly. Heavy best stereotypical Russian.

>> No.37489229

>>37489036

>> No.37489251

>>37489229

>> No.37489371

>>37489036
I'm like 90% sure that this is an example plot from the 4e DMG.

>> No.37489450

Here's one from early /tg/, note the low post numbers.

>> No.37489849

>>37486121
i think that OP was a dick and plouton a pretty nice guy.

>> No.37490233

>>37488398
Wait, you don't know Mr. Bones wild ride? By god get some education dude.

>> No.37491216

>>37469429
>mfw you don't bathe in impluviums
Art history has ruined me

>> No.37491624

>> No.37492074

>>37465629
bump want to read

>> No.37492429

>> No.37492463

>>37492429

>> No.37492921

Bump while I prepare my file dump. Been saving up stories for years

PS This is my favorite thread in a long time. It's pretty much a big gathering of all the reasons I even visit /tg/

>> No.37493350

>>3742921

Image limit reached...

>> No.37493454

>>37493350
Shit. Should we make a new one then?

>> No.37493541

>>37493350
Working on it, see yall on the other side. I'll try not to repost but I may just do it for anybody who missed out on this thread

>> No.37493572

>>37493454
Go for it. Just post links in each one so that people go to the new thread and can find this thread. It will be archived for a while.

>> No.37493758

>>37493572
New thread is up here: >>37493749

>> No.37494443

>>37493570

>> No.37494512

>>37486973
Actually it did for me.

>> No.37494515

NVM on
>>37493570

Go to
>>37493749

>> No.37494735

>>37468214
Anyone have the OP picture for this?

>> No.37494841

>>37494735
https://data.archive.moe/board/tg/image/1414/78/1414785215915.jpg

>> No.37495173

>>37488398
bruh

>> No.37496083

>>37478506
I never asked for this feel.

>> No.37496745

>>37471038
Have him be Staff Sergeant Major Gunny.

"Your coffee, Staff Sergeant."

"Look, you're just a civilian secretary. Call me Major. Or Gunny, if you prefer."

"Uh...."

>> No.37497047

>>37487416
>Montezuma's Revenge

>> No.37497093

>>37474402
Look one of these days I'm gonna be in the pigeon dungeon.

And then you'll be glad I thought of it.

>> No.37498040

>>37478590
Discworld References are the best references.

>> No.37498816

Is there a beastiary for fourth edition or a site with user-created creatures? Having to make literally everything is a massive pain in the ass.

>> No.37498909

>>37498816
4th edition dungeons and dragons?
Yes.
Several. At least three monster manuals and a "Monster Vault". Plus probably other stuff i'm missing.
Apparently on the last few the math is skewed away from "Lets spend the afternoon wading through hitpoints" fwiw.

>> No.37498929

>>37498909
Fuck, meant to post in the GURPS general

>> No.37498958

>>37466947
if a sword cost 30 gp and a real sword costs 3000$ then each coin is 100 dollars. so each prostitute is 1000$.
does his character live in vegas?

>> No.37499063

>>37466984
That's /v/

>> No.37499869

>>37481135
Here Lies
Anon
Dearly Departed
19xx - 2015 Jan 19
Lain Low By The Departure of His Sides

>> No.37500399

>>37470153
Beautiful.

>> No.37501592

>>37487416
What the ever living fuck?

>> No.37501670

>>37481135
Hooooooooooooooooo

>> No.37504029

>>37489009
What's with all this edgeshit recently?

>> No.37504900

>>37486121
sexy

>> No.37505267

>>37489849
agreedo. he had a kewl setup

>>
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