[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games

View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.37345363 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Please don’t actually vote, I’m only doing this for money. I don’t even play Metroid.

Every once in awhile, life has a way of making you think back on just where it all went wrong. Surrounded by a gaggle of bullies while you were minding your own business in the academy mess hall, you can’t help but think that this is one of those moments.

Before you entered some academy where they trained Metroid hunters or whatever job people in power suits do, you considered yourself a strong, independent woman. And now, you are nothing but ‘that recruit’: that recruit who trails the training company during ruck marches, that recruit who screws up constantly, that recruit with no friends—except that one black guy whose name you can't remember. That recruit: dead last on the pecking order.

“Hey recruit! Ima talkin’ t’yah!”

One of the bullies surrounding you shoves you roughly, and your food tray clatters against the mess hall floor. You grimace; you aren’t all that hungry anyway.

“Dumb bitch be spacing out,” the one behind you sneers, which is accompanied by mean giggles from the two female members of the gang. “Well, you know what they say about blondes!”

More laughter.

There are many others in the mess hall with you, but no one dares look at your way lest they somehow become implicated along with you. You’ve experienced this many times before, and your gut tells you that the act is fast approaching its climax. You know you need to do something—anything—but your body refuses to move. Anger? Fear? You don’t know, and you will never know for certain.

Your aggressors, however, are keen on moving onto the main act. The air seems to shift in response, becoming colder. You shiver.

>> No.37345396

The one in front of you clasps his hand roughly over your mouth. “Hey, bitc—”

“STOP RIGHT THERE,” a booming voice shouts suddenly, drawing all eyes towards the source.

It is Big Strong Adam, swaggering his way towards you so confidently that you half-wonder if he is a male underwear model.

“Hey,” He growls, clamping his strong, manly hand down like a vice on the bully in front of you, “back away from the Lady nice and slow. Otherwise, you deal with me!"”

>Press f to swoon
>Press x to be a strong, independent woman.

>> No.37345411

what the fuck is this

Is this going to be bullying? I like bullying.

>> No.37345427

>> No.37345433

This is an IRC joke that you're seeing because I have too much time.

>> No.37345441


>> No.37345456

So how much your asshole friend pay you to humiliate yourself like this? Also this is /tg/ we can and will try to force you to run this. Be glad you didn't post this in /vg/ or /v/ they'd actually hunt you down hold a gun to your head so you'd run it and make a new ending.

You're poking 4chan son. You better be-FUCKING-lliveeee we will poke back. I'm almost tempted to vote on this to see if we can trick you into making a better plot for other m. god that game sucked.

>> No.37345533

>implying anyone will vote.
Yes, yes, behind seven firewalls etc etc.

>> No.37345641


>> No.37345748

>>Press f to swoon

>> No.37345776

shit I meant to press >F

>> No.37345782

>Press f to swoon

>> No.37345793

>swoon the shit out of him, then swoon over his cock, then swoon with his cock down your throat

>> No.37345798


>> No.37345811

then swoon with everyone else's cock in our ass because we're a strong independent character who can take it

>> No.37345813

>Press f to swoon

This is clearly the canonical choice

>> No.37345835



I Warned you bro. I WARNED YOU!

>> No.37345859

no bro, we warned you. with our penis.

>> No.37345861

Man, I'm actually calling in reinforcements, this guy has to work for his $5

>> No.37345894

look at how much you care

look at it

>> No.37345897

Okay so how do I swoon

>> No.37345922

press f bro

>> No.37345925

I'd do it for about tree fiddy

>> No.37345929

Wanna bet he's literally ran off from his computer screaming in terror at the power he's provoked guys?

>> No.37345934

It amuses me greatly.

>> No.37346261

>Press f to swoon
The ensuing melee is a brutal one-on-four brawl. To be honest, you should have evened the odds somewhat by throwing a right hook while your bullies were distracted. But your knees feel weak and your heart only flutters as your rescuer Adam expertly navigates the whirlwind of limbs. He takes them down brutally, but doesn’t leave them any wounds that will last… for too long. A small part of your mind thinks this is far too clichéd to be real life, more ham-fisted than a romance scene in a Japanese VN about people fighting over some cup—but this raw display of masculinity is indeed happening in front of you.

It doesn’t take long for Adam to step triumphantly over the fallen form of his last opponent, glaring daggers at the two female posses who had let their men fight for them. They look like rats out in the rain, and flee in terror as he deepens his scowl. The last of the threat gone, he finally looks at you.

“Well, Lady, are you alright?” he asks with a cock-sure grin.

You press f.


That memory of your first meeting with Adam is what courses through your mind as you stand inside his office, your awfully-plotted adventure over, your previous characterization destroyed, and your declaration of love finally made.

Your eyes anxiously examine Adam’s handsome face for any hints on his reply. His features remain neutral, hard—a mask. And you know his answer as a sad violin remix of “Escape” from Super Metroid begins to play from Adam’s radio.

"I'm sorry, Lady. I can't authorize... my love for you..." He managed to say—all you managed to hear as tears flood your vision.

You barely keep it together as you leave the office, and finally break into a blind run to… somewhere. A different place, a different world Nintendo doesn’t release awful games for their flagship products; where the writer knows more about Metroid than the fact that Samus is a girl. To a world, where you are a strong, independent woman.


>> No.37346378

"I'm sorry, Lady. I can't authorize... my love for you..."
8/10 Quest of the year

>> No.37346467

I want this post to be put on a wall, a monument to how seriously an internet tuff gai takes his metroid

>> No.37346579


Not to mention the fact that, personally, I would want a significantly grander spectacle if I were your friend. After all, this is FIVE WHOLE DOLLARS we're talking about.

Work for it you slut.

>> No.37346610

Fucking laptop, why did you put that back after I deleted it?

>> No.37347006


Get back in here and write more stupid Other M satire!

>> No.37348578

I don't even....

>> No.37348987


Wait, is it one collective penis?

Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.