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[ERROR] No.36938245 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

If you had choose between taking a Sister of Battle, an Eldar Banshee, or a trueborn Archon on a date, who would you choose?

>> No.36938280

>>36938245
SoB.
Flatsos can suck it.

>> No.36938303

>>36938245
Probably the Banshee, because she's probably not a religious fanatic and the DEldar are just fuckoff crazy.

>> No.36938317

Same here. That choice would probably end badly if expecting to pay is heresy.

>> No.36938325

Banshee, without hesitation

>> No.36938342

The banshee seems relatively unlikely to murder me.

>> No.36938348

Banshee, the safest bet.

>> No.36938351

>>36938303
You'll be the dude with the loudest girlfriend, at least.

But I'd go with the Sister, I think, assuming that Eldar look like they do in later official art.

>> No.36938357

>>36938303
That's probably the only reason to choose the Banshee. What would be the only reason to choose the DEldar?

>> No.36938368

>>36938303
>Banshee
>not a religious fanatic
You do realize that aspect warriors are the cultists of khaine, right.

>> No.36938372

>>36938357
Because you have a death wish or a torture fetish?

>> No.36938379

>>36938351
Example?

>> No.36938408

Have you all forgotten the Golden Rule?

>> No.36938410

>>36938245
Sister. Firebugs are my prefered flavor of crazy.

>> No.36938411

>>36938245
SoB, because I am not a heretic.

>> No.36938414

I have neither, and personally would rather choose a tech priestess than a DEldar.

>> No.36938428

>>36938408
Which is?

>> No.36938436

>> No.36938437

>>36938368
You do realize that Aspect warriors train, fight, and then retire, right? That only Exarchs are in the job for life, and they're considered "cursed" for it?

>> No.36938456

>>36938428
DON'T

STICK

IT

IN

THE

CRAZY

>> No.36938480

>>36938436
So we got a yandre nun?

>> No.36938488

>>36938379
Can't find the pic, but Eldar women especially go into uncanny valley territory a lot.

But if they don't, I would go for that hot elf ass like a heat-seeking missile aimed at the sun.

>> No.36938489

>>36938414
tech priestess do not exist

>> No.36938496

>>36938456
B-But anon I used to d-do that all the time. Should I be worried?

>> No.36938504

>>36938436
Thank you for purifying my folders of heresy and replacing them with omnipotence and clarity

>sob confirmed for most thoughtful

>> No.36938512

>>36938489
There's been several canonical examples of female members of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Koriel Zeth being the obvious example.

>> No.36938523

>>36938436
Does porn of the Emperor count?

>> No.36938529

>>36938489
My bad. I think I need to check my fluff now. Oh well, just a harmless mistake.

>> No.36938535

>>36938512
They do not exist.

Provide scientific images to prove me wrong.

>> No.36938540

>>36938496
1.Can you feel the warp overtaking you?
2.Is it a good pain?

If yes to either of these, please consult your nearest inquisitor.

>> No.36938545

>>36938437
>You do realize that Aspect warriors train, fight, and then retire, right?
And? They're in that shrine for decades to centuries, immersing themselves in the rites of their chose aspect completely.

Eventually retiring from the spot doesn't change how intense the position is. It's why the eldar consider becoming an aspect warrior so dangerous.

>> No.36938564

>>36938540
That is why you stay away from daemonettes.

>> No.36938567

>>36938512
Also Felicia Tayber.

I know, Black Library, but yeah. The biggest thing is that after a few hundred years and several cybernetic refurbishings later, your biological sex have little meaning anymore.

>> No.36938584

>>36938489
>Mechanicum trilogy
Linya is mai waifu

>> No.36938607

>>36938529
They do m8

>> No.36938655

>>36938584
I've been thinking of picking that up, once it's released as a compilation. Is it any good? I'd heard that the Eldar make a significant appearance in it - do they make a good show of things, or just do the usual thing where they fart around whining about DOOOM before all getting killed?

>> No.36938669

>>36938523
She would call it heresy, confiscate it, and then secretly schlick to it when you are not around

>> No.36938685

>>36938245
SoB and Banshee sandwich

>> No.36938734

I can think of the benefits that comes with dating the flame thrower loving nun. One of the disadvantage is that if she moves in with you, she'll probably burn your neighbors to death if she thinks they're heretics. Which gets worse if you liked your neighbors, and possibly the neighborhood.

>> No.36938756

>>36938655
I really enjoyed the series.
Human elements are written well, the Admech are really interestingly written. There's some DOOOOM but it's not really an issue, it fits the character. BTs are also pretty good as well One beats the top Secutor in a 1v1

>>36938734
>implying she won't be a GOAT barbaque chef

>> No.36938757

>>36938685
Best idea I heard all day.

>> No.36938802

>>36938756
In that case, let the neighborhood burn. Maybe your insurance covers nuns that love fire.

>> No.36938828

Hmm..
Can I just take a hitch ride to another galaxy please?

>> No.36938833

>>36938828
Don't panic.

>> No.36938851

>>36938685
anon confirmed for best taste in thread

>> No.36938900

>>36938488
I dunno, their faces just seem a little more pale than most in a lot of the official art. I was always under the impression that the uncanny valley showed up when they moved at all, plus the fact that they're like Space Marine Height while being human weight

>> No.36938969

Imagine your Inquisitor girlfriend from the Ordo Xeno dressing up as a DEldar for "research purpose".

>> No.36938992

>>36938969
How would that turn out?

>> No.36939050

Disadvantages of dating a Banshee:
Worrying about your girlfriend's spirit stone getting destroyed and her spending the rest of eternity being tortured.

Snoring problems?

>> No.36939073

>>36939050
>Snoring problems?

Only if they wear their masks 24/7, which they don't.

>> No.36939079

>>36939050
>Implying I"m not a follower of Slaanesh
>Implying that's not the only reason I"m dating her.

>> No.36939091

>>36939050
She's a very loud screamer you need earmuffs so you don't have blood come out your ears.

>> No.36939092

Sorry. Well, does it matter if she's serious about being a banshee, and the craftworld she's from?

>> No.36939093

>>36939073
Why does she wear the mask?

>> No.36939105

>>36939093
Amplifies her screams to the point it fucks up an entire squad .

>> No.36939136

On the DEldar, should we even begin on just how much could go wrong with dating some crazy, sadomasochist she-elf?

>> No.36939155

>>36939093
UUUU

>> No.36939179

>>36938280
even if you can pull it, she'll forever be in love with her first love, Big E.
enjoy having every beautiful moment with her ruined by the knowledge that she's thinking of Him. You are just a stand-in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_-qepkPAlI

>> No.36939216

>>36939179
I'm sorry, any man should be honored to be a stand-in for Emps.

Sides, if your average catholic can manage it, I think I can too.

>> No.36939231

>>36939216
oh well... I guess if you're gonna get cucked by anyone, it might as well be God.

>> No.36939289

>>36939179
>You are just a stand in

So she'd want me to wear a mask?

>> No.36939315

I'm down for some otherworldly freeky shit. Let's hit up that archon.

>> No.36939351

>>36939315
Great. She would want you to meet her mother, and tell you her father has been dead for years.

>> No.36939456

As I mentioned earlier, would the craftworld the banshee come from effect her disposition?

>> No.36939482

>Sister
Won't be able to live up to expectations. Great for those who have that weird "disinterested during sex" fetish, if she'll even have sex with you that is.
>banshee
By far the best bet you have of getting laid and surviving until you get executed by the commissar for having an Eldar STD
>Archon
Yeah, no. If its a female trueborn she can have literally anybody she wants. Not being a pessimist but a realist, she couldn't be satiated by a 7" dick.

>> No.36939538

>>36939456
>would the craftworld the banshee come from effect her disposition?

Probably. Each Craftworld has its own society and cultural idioms, after all.

>> No.36939587

>>36939538
So a banshee from Biel-Tan would probably be more traditionalist? Either that or her parents.

>> No.36939647

>>36939587
Given that Biel-tan is one of the more outright xenophobic Craftworlds, they would be far more likely to just kill out out of hand. Try Ulthwe or Alaitoc.

>> No.36939650

>>36938685
>not setting up the Banshee and the SoB up on a blind date.
It wouldn't be fun otherwise.

>> No.36939819

>>36939647
If she's from Ulthwe, she's probably involved in some sort of scheme. And Isn't Alaitoc the one with strict rules that has a lot of outcases? What about Saim-Hann?

I'm also trying to make fluff for a craftworld that thinks this:
Don't talk to humans, kids! They'll take away from your IQ, and they want to turn our women into pets!

>> No.36939825

>>36938545
Aspect Warriors are only violent crazy murderpsychos when they have their war mask on. If they're not fighting, they're just normal Eldar. The war mask stops them from remembering their battles of feeling any of the emotions they felt during them, because to do so would be incredibly traumatic. Only the Exarchs remember and actively enjoy fighting.

A Howling Banshee GF would be pretty normal, except every so often she dresses up as a demigod and goes around screaming and chopping people up.

>> No.36939835

>>36939482
Couldn't you cosplay as the emperor? Get some Fervor in the bed room antics.

>> No.36939837

>>36939650
I think that will end with fire and screaming.

>> No.36939881

>>36939837
and then hot, steamy sex

>> No.36939920

>>36939881
I believe something would be hot and steaming, but in a very literal sense of the word.

>> No.36939941

>>36939835
Come on now anon the Emperor is like 13 feet tall or something. At least a foot of that is bulbous dick.

>> No.36939969

>>36939941
As long as the SoB can have her fantasy.

>> No.36939974 [SPOILER] 

>>36938436
It took me a month to notice

>> No.36939996

>>36939881
Maybe that sight can prove love can bloom.
>>36939920
What will be steaming?

>> No.36940023

>>36939974
It's a well known fact that Adeptus Sortias are jealous lovers.

>> No.36940068

>>36938245
Sister of Battle
Someone who burns demons alive for a living can't be too boring.
Wont even mind when she screams for the emperor

>> No.36940119

>>36939837
and the morning after will be cute as fuck.

>> No.36940120

>>36940023
Its a well known fact that if you stick your dick in the flamethrower wielding crazy, then you are either faithful or charcoal

>> No.36940125

>>36939819
Biel-Tan:
Total tsundere, really rude and racist to you all the time but secretly worries that you're taking it personally and will leave her. Her parents will hate you.

Saim-Hann:
Adventurous and fun, makes you get her clan tattoos and teaches you how to ride a jetbike. Has a massive extended family who all love you, even if their drama reaches supernova levels on a regular basis.

Iyanden:
Either has a warithbone body in which case you do mindsex only, or a battle-scarred flesh one. Will suffer from PTSD and all sorts of health problems due to nid toxins. Depressed, but the most kind and caring out of all of them. However, she won't leave her Craftworld for anything, so you'll have to stay there with her.

Ulthwé:
really secretive, won't trust you or open up to you for awhile. Almost certainly is plotting something. No sense of humor and quite pessimistic, but she will be unfailingly loyal and supportive.

Alaitoc:
Extremely conservative and repressed, she will often forget you are a human and treat you like an Eldar. She'll get better over time, but it will take quite a lot of work. She also has a much higher chance of becoming an Exarch.

>> No.36940130

>>36939819
>they want to turn our women into pets!


The only solution is obviously to turn them into pets before it happens!

>> No.36940150

>>36940068
Just have a high paying job so you can get your pyromaniac nun more fuel.

>> No.36940156

>>36939974
oh goddess.
I hope when Big E finally dies, he is reincarnated as this beauty. Would worship.

>> No.36940161

>>36939996
The corpse. People burn notoriously poorly, and I can't imagine eldar burning any better.

>> No.36940225

>>36940156
>Emps dies
>Reincarnated as Femperor
>Gives Sisters of battle compatible geneseed
>Galaxy overrun with power armored superwomen

I'm okay with this kind of apocalypse

>> No.36940238

>>36940120
I chose faithful. Seriously. Praying to the Empra a day keeps the crazies away. Just don't count exterminatus.

>>36940125
I like that. Sounds good.

>> No.36940339

>>36940130
Pretty much. Paranoid, xenophobic space elves that freak out over a little dirt is what I'm going for..

>> No.36940347

>>36938245
Sister of Battle
>Lots of battle stories
>Passionate (about the Imperium)
>Guaranteed in shape
>Pent up crazy fervor (living with nothing but SoBs)
>May call out Emps name

Eldar Banshee
>Tens of thousands of years old Xenos, wise and intelligent
>Probably knows nothing of Mon Keig culture
>DFC
>May want to keep the mask on
>May talk down to you

DE Archon
>Certifiably insane sadist
>Sees you as a resource to be used
>Soul slowly being devoured
>What the fuck is that thing and where is it going?!
>Emperor help me!

>> No.36940364

>>36940125
gonna fuck me a Iyanden Wraithseer, Mindsex is liek VR rite? fucking fetish-fantasy tyme

>> No.36940375

>>36939647
The worst I've seen Biel-Tan do in fluff is move settlers off worlds, maybe with a few dead "pour encourager les autres", so I'm really not sure where this comes from? Fanwank?

>> No.36940388

>>36940364
wouldn't she have a phobia of nids too?

>> No.36940421

>>36940375
Yeah they arent "Xenophobic" like he said
they are rather...hmmm, nationalistic? imperialistic? well they want to rebuild the eldar empire, which considering the state of the eldar and the galaxy as a whole I suppose that makes them rediculously optimistic considering the setting

>> No.36940458

>>36940347
>DFC? Probably knows nothing about Mon Keig culture.
That last one could probably have some kind of advatage in the relationship.

>> No.36940516

>>36940375
The 6th edition Eldar codex outright describes Biel-tan as waging "an endless campaign of xenocide against those foolish enough to cross their path" and mentions Imperial Explorators making planetfall on an Exodite world, only to find their predecessors having already been slaughtered.

Biel-tan is the Craftworld of "fuck you, this is our galaxy and we're taking it back by force." They'll negotiated and manipulate when they have to, but make no mistake, their final goal is to reconquer the galaxy through military means.

>> No.36940581

>>36940516
"an endless campaign of xenocide against those foolish enough to cross their path"

The problem is it doesn't really correspond to what they do when they show up in fluff outside the codex.

>Imperial Explorators making planetfall on an Exodite world, only to find their predecessors having already been slaughtered.

Yeah, if I was xeno in 40k I'd probably send official imperial explorers back in caskets. Would you not shoot an ork waaagh?

>> No.36940605

>>36940516
Oh - and to elaborate on this point, a quote from the 4th edition Eldar codex;

"The warriors of Biel-tan care not, for to them all other races are usurpers to be culled without mercy."

>> No.36940614

>>36940516
What about Harlequin girls? They don't seem to mind performing to the Imperium.

And should I stop being a namefag?

>> No.36940739

>>36940614
>They don't seem to mind performing to the Imperium.

To the best of my knowledge, that does not happen. Or if it does, it's extremely rare. Given that the Imperium tends to kill aliens on sight and the Harlequin's dances are primarily used for retelling stories from the Eldars' past.

>> No.36940809

>>36940739
>Imperium tends to kill aliens on sight

Yeah, except no. Maybe on Terra itself, but on the fringes, the degree to which the local authorities give a fuck varies tremendously.

Harlequins performing on some human worlds is part of their official fluff.

>> No.36940840

This thread is cancer.

Archon. Love me the crazy ones.

>> No.36940847

>>36940809
>Harlequins performing on some human worlds is part of their official fluff.

Source? If I'm mistaken, I'd like to read the full context.

>> No.36940866

>>36940739
I can give you a link to the wiki if you want me to?

>> No.36940938

>>36940866
Does that wiki cite its sources? If not, it's essentially worthless. Lexicanum is reasonably reliable, but 40kwiki is a complete mess of fanwank and assumptions.

>> No.36941023

>>36940938
THIS
40kwiki is built of "copy from lexicanum, then add fanwank"

>> No.36941081

>>36940339

>"Farseer, I have discovered this illustrated book of instruction on how to pervert Eldar in the mon'keigh base"

>"This is an outrage! Those apes think they can destroy our will this easily? Ha! ...Yet, this claim is ... worrying. What if those methods worked ? Commander! Fetch me a prisoner! I need to assess the level of threat those things represent!"

>"Very well, Farseer. We have several of those black-armored women in our cells. I will be back as soon as possible."

>> No.36941149

>>36941081
Why do I feel like the minion is going to go up the cells and find that the SoB have managed to light a fire somehow?

>> No.36941158

>>36941081
OP here, and I think that could be pretty much it maybe. Other Craftworlds view them as that nerdy cousin that needs to get out more.

>> No.36941228

>>36938245
Have to go with the Sororita first, but...

>>36938685
>SoB and Banshee sandwich
...I wouldn't mind a second helping...

>>36938564
>That is why you stay away from daemonettes.
No no no, you see...

>>36938523
>>36938669
>>36939974
>>36940156
>>36940225
>>Reincarnated as Femperor
>>Gives Sisters of battle compatible geneseed
>>Galaxy overrun with power armored superwomen
>I'm okay with this kind of apocalypse
Some of us WANT this to happen!

>> No.36941268

>>36938245
>Choosing anyone other than Bolter Bitches

>> No.36941347

>>36941268
OP here, comissair. Just put the bolt pistol down.

>> No.36941396

>>36941347
his right hand shall remain forever on his bolt-pistol
his left hand....well lets just say its on his "other" bolt-pistol

>> No.36941432

>>36941396
No, that would be his Chain Sword...

>> No.36941445

>>36941228
That picture made my day. Weather's bad, and the Internet is somewhat slow now. Yep, what a lovely Christmas week for me.

>> No.36941577

>>36941347
>>36941396
>>36941432
You all have five seconds to explain why I shouldn't BLAM you all for heresy right now.

>> No.36941626

>>36941577
because a kommando just stole all the bolts in your gun?

>> No.36941653

>>36938245
Which one's the scary space elf?

>> No.36941671

>>36941577
Why should you be blaming us when you could be blaming Slaaneshi cultists?

>> No.36941680

>>36941577
They are working for me, Commissar.

>> No.36941709

>>36941653
The Trueborn Archon.

>> No.36941724

>>36941653
The last two. The Archon is scarrier, though.

>> No.36941742

>>36941626
I've always got a spare clip, guardsman. Next!

>> No.36941751

>>36939216
Pretty sure no Catholic woman is thinking of Jesus's flesh (Or the Pope's) while doing it man.
That's literally against the rules.

Yes they have rules about such things.

>> No.36941789

>>36940347
DFC?

>> No.36941821

>>36941751
Imperium probably does to. Like I said, it's basically the same thing.

>> No.36941835

>>36940347
>May call out Emps name
>Implying we both aren't shouting "FOR THE EMPEROR!" when we both climax

>> No.36941900

>>36941577
>Captain Commissar Anon died a hero's death. He bravely led a charge against a company of chaos tanks.

>> No.36941909

So what would be the advantages of dating the Banshee?

>> No.36941954

>>36941821
The Imperium probably is less uptight about sex.

Read the catechism man, they're obsessed with it.

>Literally mandating how to have sex, what kinds of sex is appropriate, and what types of sex are acceptable.

They even have loopholes!
LOOPHOLES ANON!
There are lawyers who find loopholes in how to fuck Catholic style!

>> No.36941976

>>36941909
Crazy in the head, crazy in bed.

>> No.36942017

>>36940614
Yes.

>> No.36942037

>>36941909
Incredibly physically attractive
Peak of physical fitness
Capable of deep conversation
Completely independent
If from Iyanden you can snuggle up to her when she has nightmares and hold her tight

>> No.36942038

>>36941976
I like that. Wait, can't Slaanesh rip Eldar souls out during sex? Wouldn't she get you to when he nabs your Banshee?

>> No.36942077

>>36942038
iirc Slaanesh gets really attracted when they descend into the heights of depravity the Ancient Eldar and now Dark Eldar engage in. They just tend to be uptight about normal banging because muh slippery slope.

>> No.36942084

>>36942037
I think that would be a heartwarming moment that 40k could use.

>>36942017
Glad I have stopped then.

>> No.36942114

>>36938245
>DEldar
soul sucking self obsessed lethal crazy bitch? Insane sex with risk of stabbing?
>first girlfriend out of college.
Brunette, rich as fuck, rode horses for a living and would shout out commands during sex. Owned so many guns.

>SOB
Warm, loving of a higher power, fiery, pent up.

>2nd Gf out of college.
Devout Christian, virgin until I got her. then...wow. Would do again.

>Banshee
Fit as fuck, martial artist, screamer and probably a squirted.

>3rd Gf out of college.
Martial artist waifu. Do this.

On reflection having done all three, I'd do all three again.

>> No.36942126

>>36941909
+Cute elf
+/- Tsundere
-To an eldar, you're the equivalent of a crusty Somalian trying to bag a 10/10 Hollywood actress in her eyes

>> No.36942143

>>36942077
Right. Thanks for reminding me.

>> No.36942230

>>36942126
>-To an eldar, you're the equivalent of a crusty Somalian trying to bag a 10/10 Hollywood actress in her eyes

>> No.36942245

>>36942114
That sounds like some pretty dead on comparisons.

>>36942126
Sounds right.

>> No.36942253

>>36942126
So what's the Eldar equivalent of Sweden?
You know, to up my chances here.

>> No.36942279

>>36942253
>So what's the Eldar equivalent of Sweden?
>You know, to up my chances here.
Hah

Well there's hundreds of Craftworlds out there gotta be one that's space Sweden.

>> No.36942290

>>36942114
>Brunette, rich as fuck, rode horses for a living and would shout out commands during sex. Owned so many guns.

This sounds hot as hell.

>> No.36942315

>>36942279
Craftworld I'kea.

>> No.36942350

>>36942230
>that
>crusty

>her
>10/10

>> No.36942379

>>36942290
To be honest if I had to choose one of the three again. It would be her.

I look fondly at the scars on my shoulders from where she used to dig her nails in.

>told all further partners you got them from a biking accident
>tfw when you get a hard on thinking about how you actually got them.

>> No.36942410

>>36941789
Delicious
Flat
Chest

Referring to a female of adult age that is attractive and has little to no breasts, around the A cup range

>> No.36942414

>>36942379
Fuck. Thinking further.
I wanna bang the DEldar again.

>scuse me /tg/ I got a phone call to make for the holidays.

>> No.36942432

>>36941835
What if you accidentally shout "Fohor Kay-oss!"

>> No.36942469

What would be a good name for that Craftworld I mentioned? The one with paranoid Eldar who think humans make you lose IQ points and want to turn Eldar women into pets. On another note, I have thought of an idea where Tzeentch trolls this craftworld when there's not a lot of just as planned going on.

>> No.36942481

>>36942253

>> No.36942482

>>36942432
Flammer, and she steals your wallet.

>> No.36942492

>>36942469
Craftworld Ids'Habedin

>> No.36942511

>>36941789
>DFC?
Disgusting flat chest, WHICH IS A LIE!!!

>> No.36942538

>>36942414
Meeting for a drink tomorrow. Thanks /tg/

>>36942511
Oh for fucks sake why do you always show up when I get a hard on.

>> No.36942558

>>36942432
MORE HERETICAL!

>>36942414

Did /tg/ just help a kinky relationship?

>> No.36942582

>>36942558
I think that's 4 now.

>> No.36942599

>>36942538

Oh my. Congratulation

Are you tust trying for a quick christmas sex session or something a bit more long-term?

>> No.36942624

>>36942599
*just

>> No.36942626

>>36942582
/tg/ - Non-Traditional Relationships

>> No.36942631

>>36942492
Thanks for the name. I already have the the color scheme though out. White and purple.

>>36942538
Good luck with that.

>>36942558
>Did /tg/ just help a kinky relationship?
Probably.

>> No.36942659

> /tg/ gets another anon laid

Mission accomplished everyone. Pack it up for now. Save the rest of the smutty stuff for /wst/ later this week.

>> No.36942687

>>36942599
Actually kinda hoping we can patch things up...

>tfw when never would have done this if not for this thread.

Well /tg/ you either got me laid or stabbed. Probably both. Thanks!

>> No.36942706

>>36942626

>"Mom, how did you and Dad fell in love?"

>"You mean Broodmare #01? We dated for a while, then went our separate ways, and then people on the internet reminded him how great I was."

>> No.36942744

>>36942706
I need a good laugh.

>> No.36942784

>>36942687
It's great, man! Don't get hurt permanently, though

>> No.36942801

>>36940120
Or faithful charcoal. That probably has a use somewhere.

>> No.36942814

>>36942744
Needed* fixed.

>> No.36942816 [DELETED] 

>>36942744

Do you mean "needed" ? Or is my post that depressing?

>> No.36942837

>>36940347
calling out "EMPEROR" is more like calling "GOD" than it is like calling out "STEVE"

so it's not really a turn off or a reason to get the inquisition involved

>> No.36942925

>>36939093
There needs to be a picture of le hothead guy but on separate blocks, like that abstract pepe image

>> No.36942989

>>36940120
>Dem shoulders

Is it gay that I find this attractive?

>> No.36943009

>>36942989

No.

I'm wondering about her ring, though.

>> No.36943134

>>36942315
underrated post

>> No.36943136

>>36942687

If you're not getting stabbed while getting laid you're doing it wrong.

>> No.36943185

>>36942687
>Well /tg/ you either got me laid or stabbed. Probably both. Thanks!

It's moments like this that makes me really happy to be alive

>> No.36943247

>>36943185
It's a /tg/ Christmas miracle.

>> No.36943370

Trueborn Archon.

I'de be her bitchboi fuckslave any day.

>> No.36943399

>>36943136
But MOM!
Isn't bloodplay a bit too... Khornite?

>> No.36943431

>>36943370
You also get her mother.

>> No.36943462

>>36943399
I think that is a way to troll Khorne.

>> No.36943719

So craftworld Ids'Hadedin, the craftworld where the space elves think if the Imperium wins, they'll do to the Eldar what the Dark Eldar do them. What would other Craftworlds think about them?

>> No.36943794

>>36943719
The same shit other people think about /pol/.

>> No.36943846

>>36943794
I have not been there. Not really the type to get in politics. So what do people think of /pol/?

>> No.36943933

>>36943719
>the craftworld where the space elves think if the Imperium wins, they'll do to the Eldar what the Dark Eldar do them.

Are you speaking Common? What the fuck are you trying to communicate?

>> No.36943938

>>36943399
>>36943462
But isn't the enjoyment of bloodshed a little too...Slaaneshi?

>> No.36943981

>>36943933
>>36943719
if the Imperium wins, then the Eldar will just retreat into the webway and be fine

>> No.36944014

>>36938303
She's still a woman.

>> No.36944017

>>36943933
I am speaking Common.

>> No.36944052

>>36943981
Probably, but these Eldar are pretty paranoid.

>> No.36944055

>>36938245
Lets be honest here. I shoot myself in the head to save them the trouble.

>> No.36944078

>>36943938
Notreally sure. Maybe the Blood Angels know.

>> No.36944079 [SPOILER] 

>>36943938
I'm too confused right now...

>> No.36944199

SoBs are hardly all fanatics. In the Cain series, there was that one Prioress who was sneaking off to fuck the planetary governor, or something like that.

I imagine they're all like catholic girls. So heavily repressed that when you get them in bed, it's astonishing how different they are.

So definitely SoB. Least likely to kill me for my species.

>> No.36944218

>>36940347
>DFC
Mon'keigh, please.

>> No.36944249

>>36944079
>>36943938
>>36943462
>>36943399
Maybe its all Just as planned

>> No.36944295

>>36944199
Of course, they spend all of their time cooped up with other women all day every day, and going through horrific battles every other time
That's a lot of pressure that needs an outlet.

Though I wonder if talking to them you'd have to crack the fanatic shell before getting to their personality.

>> No.36944311

What about the Hospitalier sorotias?

>> No.36944569

>>36942230
>Implying Seal isn't anything except a sculpture of Adonis carved out of onyx and has the voice of a calm breeze on an ocean sunset.

I ain't even gay, but Seal is an incredibly handsome man.

>> No.36944571

I'm pretty sure a good number of different Sororitas orders practice self mortification just like some Space Marine chapters, DEldar don't get all the fun with whips

>> No.36944592

>>36944218
Thats a chestplate

>> No.36944602

>>36944311
YOU GONNA GET RAPED!!!

>> No.36944657

>>36944602
Do I have enough time to roll for anal circumstance?

>> No.36944747

>>36942744
Yer gettin wun big grot DIS YEAR, OR ELSE MUH NAME ISHN'T SHANTY CLAWHS

>> No.36944786

>>36944747
No thanks, Shanty Clawhs. I want more dakka and choppa.

>> No.36944788

>>36943981
Is that what he was saying?? Thanks for the translation.

>> No.36944811

>>36944788
That is what I meant. Sorry for the confusion.

>> No.36944882

>>36944786
IF I'Z SAYZ YOU BE GETTIN A GROT, YOUZ BE GETTIN A GROT, YA GROT

>> No.36944908

>>36944882
You'd da boss.

>> No.36944934

>>36944657
PERHAPS!
Do you have Overwatch?

>> No.36944966

No. How much rape am I looking at here?

>> No.36945770

>>36944934
Why isn't she looking through the scope?

>> No.36946120

We need something to bring life back into this thread. Any suggestions?

>> No.36946191

>>36946120
How one might trick a space elf and a space nun into a blind date without them killing each other/you and where they should go?

>> No.36946276

>>36946191
That is a good question. Get a farseer to say "Do this and our crafworld won't be destroyed." And the nun just say "Do it for the Emperor."

>> No.36946333

>> No.36946352

>>36946191
Lock them in a Necron Overlords Tomb World. They'll be forced to cooperate, and they won't immediately kill each other because they're not idiots and know that they need to work together to get out alive.

Hell, it worked with Nightspear and Kor'sorro (I think that's his name?) Khan.

>> No.36946357

>>36938245
Archon. I'm pretty kinky, and they're hot.

>> No.36946374

>>36946333
Nice.
>>36946352
That will make anyone work together.
>>36946357
Enjoy the BDMs space elf lady.

>> No.36946393

>>36938428
Don't fuck things crazier than you.

>> No.36946403

>>36946352
What kinda of Necron tomb world would get them into lesbians though? The /u/ version of Trazyn the infinite?

>> No.36946504

>>36946403
I'm sure that Trazyn the infinite has some sort of lesbian turning weapon somewhere.

if not him, the Blood Ravens for sure.

>> No.36946525

>>36946504
Slaanesh or the Dark Eldar have one maybe.

>> No.36946529

>>36946403
Any old Tomb World that doesn't kill them or outright drive them insane should be fine.

Put them together in a single cell, forced into smaller spaces when hiding from Tomb constructs as they run, sharing food and water, forced to look out for each other all the time or be faced with death...after enough time having to look out for each other, they'll begin to bond through trauma.

Then just let emotions and feelings take over. Near-Death experiences are one hell of an aphrodisiac.

>> No.36946531

>>36938833
And don't forget your towel.

>> No.36946552

>>36946525
had, stolen long ago by one of them.

>> No.36946577

>>36946552
At least they couldn't steal the love of your SoB/Banshee/Archon girlfriend.

>> No.36946588

>>36946577
you say that now in jest, but give them a few years...

>> No.36946589

>>36946504
I want to make a joke about the Ravens and one of the old joke theories about their primarch would count as such a weapon, but I can't think of how to word it.
>>36946529
Doesn't exactly guarantee results though. Maybe a tomb world that's set up to look like a death trap but is in reality a setup to make those who get trapped within fall in love just in time to escape.

>> No.36946631

>>36946588
It will be a pretty good ride until that point.

>> No.36946918

>>36942511
>DFC
>disgusting
Nicedaemonnette, we aren't all obsessed with heaping piles of flesh and fluid like you.

I'd take the DEldar. Nice tech & kinky sex all the way. Plus, fun lab drugs.

>> No.36946934

>>36938245
Banshee. Not that I expect the date to go anywhere, but I enjoy loud women.

>> No.36946966

>>36942687
>probably both
Best outcome then, huh?
>laid
Congrats on not being a wizard
>stabbed
Fuck you and your successful life.

>> No.36947229

>>36944569
>Do you even classic art
>picture is "Venus mourns the Death of Adonis">>36946525

>> No.36947247

>>36946525
The DEldar have drugs for that.

>> No.36947331

Maybe we need some writefaggotry to bring some life in this. Sounds good?

>> No.36947374

>>36946191
More importantly, how do we get a Space Nun into a relationship with a Space Demon?

>>36946525
It's not purest love if you FORCE IT WITH A RAYGUN!!!

>>36946918
>we aren't all obsessed with heaping piles of flesh and fluid like you.
...Wut?

>> No.36947380

>>36947229
>Adonis chiseled out of onyx
Seal is Black Adonis, was the point.

>> No.36947903

>>36947331
fuck it, let me try

Marisa dove through the Hab-Block back entrance and slammed it shut just as the Necron Warrior turned the corner. As she clutched the bag of canned food close to her chest she heard the mechanical abomination walk by oblivious. Only as she reached the second floor of the Hab-Block did the Sister remember to breathe again. On the 5th floor she turned to the south quadrant, her boots clacking against the hard concrete floor, the only thing left of Marisa's armor after a month of behind enemy lines. As she passed the empty children's daycare center on this level she felt the familiar urge to launch herself at the nearest Necron stronghold to die a glorious death. Instead she simply moved the few bones around the corner and out of sight before moving on and tapping the secret code on her hide out's door.

Tap Tap, wait, Tap Tap Tap.

Her unlikely comrade in arms opened the door and rushed her inside before closing the door behind her. It once again amazed Marisa she was allied to an Eldar Howling Banshee. Tinwyrr slumped to the ground after grabbing a few cans of food and roughly pried them open with an old knife. Like Marisa her armor too was mostly missing, lost to Gauss fire and accidents along the way, the nights were cold as well so they were forced to sleep cuddled up next to each other just to survive. Marisa leaned against the wall to eat her ration for the day, packed 'Grox' meat wasn't tasty cold but it worked. Tinwyrr threw away her empty tin in disgust and moaned "How long must we stay here in this forsaken Mon-Keigh hellhole eating this garbage". Marisa threw hers away as well, dinner was over. Consoling the Xenos had been something she had never considered before, but despite her alien and unnatural gait, too high cheek bones, and off putting proportions she couldn't find the will to hate her anymore. All she saw was a comrade on the edge of loosing her sanity.

Too be continued in a sec, it takes a while to write this

>> No.36947947

>>36947903
>concrete
Doesn't 40k use rockcrete?

>> No.36947957

>>36947903
Take your time. It looks good for now.

>> No.36948008

>>36941751
Nuns are married to god.

>> No.36948036

>>36947903
Lurking for moar of this

>> No.36948396

>>36947903
Alright, here we go again

The Sister picked herself up off of the ground, made her way over to Tinwyrr and sat down next to her. Thanks to tactical briefings she knew the basics of Eldar anatomy. That was how to kill them though, not comfort them. Eldar looked human enough, but to assume the actions of one culture translated perfectly into another so foreign and alien was foolhardy. That didn't stop her from putting a arm around the Banshee beside her and saying "Don't worry, It'll be alright" in as motherly a tone as she could. The irony she was being so motherly to a Xenos likely many times her age was not lost on her, but the two hadn't laughed after the 12th day together. Monoliths and crowded refugee camps did that to a person. To the Sisters surprise, instead of rejecting the comfort in a fit of self righteous anger Tinwyrr seemed to deflate. The Xenos collapsed into her arms and began to softly sob and mumble in her own sing-song Eldar language. Marisa wanted to join her, but stayed strong. The Xenos, no, her friend needed her to be strong.

As the sun set in the far west and temperatures plummeted, Sister Marisa got up and lead the Banshee to their small bed. The Sister made sure she was comfortable and feeling better before going into the next room to fetch their blanket. It was a single bed in bad condition with a rough metal frame, but far better than the cold rockcrete (thanks anon, I knew I forgot the name of 40k concrete) floor. Tinwyrr pulled her into an embrace tighter than their usual, almost suffocating even. Marisa then said "What was that you were talking about in your own language" as she pulled the blanket over both of them. The Eldar paused for a moment in consideration before replying "I was mourning the loss of my chance to join my ancestors, my Soul-Stone will never be recovered, simply smashed or burred forever". Marisa remembered learning about this and returned the tight embrace.

Continuing soon, hit character limit

>> No.36948411

there should be a strawpoll


going with banshee all the way.
would attempt to rescue from the eye of terror if her soul stone broke after death/10

>> No.36948440

>>36948396
Nice work.

>> No.36948450

>>36948411
>>36938245
http://strawpoll.me/3254093
take a poll
lets do this

>> No.36948500

>>36948450

>> No.36948540

>>36948450
Nigga we on it

Bolter Bitches 4 lyfe

>> No.36948561

>>36948540

>> No.36948567

>>36948450
I'm surprised that none of the more adventurous types have voted for the DEldar.

>>36948500
He might want to watch out for Slaaneshi pirates.

>> No.36948707

Banshee, because WH40K warped me enough to be very disappointed with the imperium and mankind in general.
I couldn't survive there anyway but this is entirely another matter which is resulting from not having been adapted to the setting.
That said, I would likely end up making her unhappy, as I have problems with showing affection.
It sucks being related to thr ISTP personality.

>> No.36948776

>>36948561

At least SoB are human, even if they are religious fanatics who probably will only ever view you as a diversion from their work at best.

You'll never be good enough for an Eldar. They can move and experience life as a human never possibly could, and you'll always be a crude, blunt instrument to them in the bedroom. They have lived far longer than a human realistically can (with some exceptions), so anything you do will seem childish and immature to an Eldar, even one who is tolerant of Mon'Keigh like you. They experience highs and lows of emotion that we never can, so you'll never understand how she feels about something. Sure, you could probably have sex once or twice if she's exceptionally rebellious, just to see what it's like - but her whole life is rigid structure and sensory depravation, and about preserving her race. Her loving you could literally possibly kill her, so she never will.

Also, since the only example of a human-eldar hybrid existed in Rouge Trader and was pretty much scrapped, we've no idea if the parts fit together in the first place. Eldar may have strange duck-like labyrinth vaginas under there for all we know.

>> No.36948780

>>36943136
Ah, Miss Crapped Her Pants.

>> No.36948823

>>36948780
That's not crap, and "Miss" is imprecise.

>> No.36948923

>>36948776
This brings up an interesting point, but could be dismissed.

Eldar could only be dismissive of humans if they have had a range of experience, their rigid and defined lifestyle might prevent them from truly living free as many humans have.

Thus, the mon keigh might be able to show her things she might have never had the chance to consider in life.

>> No.36948943

>>36948396
Last maybe? who knows. It's past 1 Am here, but Anon always delivers

Just as Marisa was about to fall asleep she heard a faint rustling, upon further inspection she saw Tinwyrr had sat up in bed and was staring down at her. The Banshee ran a finger through Marisa's hair slowly and then leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Tomorrow..." Tinwyrr started before blushing in embarrassment, "Tomorrow you can cry on my shoulder, thank you, I really needed that". The Sister sat up next to her and ran a finger though Tinwyrr's hair as well, it had a slight shimmer to it in the moonlight that she only just noticed. As she moved her hand past Tinwyrr's ear and lightly brushed against it the Eldar turned away and shuddered. "I didn't know you felt that way" the Banshee replied, "are you priests not meant to hate us?". Marisa shrugged, "Yes, but I was never a very good Sororitas anyway". Not a lie, she had consistently fallen behind in her work schedule. Tinwyrr was making a rather big deal out of how much she liked her hair though, surely they'd gotten over this already. That was when the Eldar turned around faster than a human eye could follow and straddled her companions waist.

Still in shock Marisa was pushed down onto the bed as Tinywrr embraced her with a passionate kiss. As the Eldar pulled back she saw the confused look on Marisa's face, "What?" the Eldar asked, "You brushed my ears? that's a pretty clear sign". Marisa stuttered out "A-a clear sign of what? I don't understand!". The Sister was on the edge of panic, what had she done to set the Eldar off like this? The Banshee atop her stared at her for a moment before giggling. "Don't you know?" she asked, "an Eldar's ears is our second most powerful erogenous zone". Well THAT hadn't been in the tactical briefings, a dozen different ways to pull their throats out with a dozen different tools had been but not any erogenous zones.

One more post after this tg, trying to hurry it along

>> No.36948984

>>36948943
Still looking good.

>> No.36949003

>>36948823
I know it's supposed to resemble a cock-bulge, but it looks more like Slaanesh crapped hirs (s/he is the ultimate SJW) panties.

>> No.36949052

>>36944934
dat belly :3

>> No.36949067

>>36949003
There would be a rather obvious stain and probably leakage if that were true.

>> No.36949118

>>36948776
id just like to love an eldar and play with her ears..

hell, i even wrote a long winded story about it afew months back

>> No.36949162

>>36949118
Neat drawing. Source? And mind sharing that story?

>> No.36949198

>>36949162
That's Technomancers work. I haven't seen his name around /tg/ in a while though. I can just have missed it.

>> No.36949219

>>36949198
Thanks for the name.

>> No.36949224

>>36949162
no idea where that picture came from, but i can link the story.

>http://pastebin.com/SjVXqEfn

no banshee haters allowed!

>> No.36949241

>>36948776
Fair enough, but what about those emotions though? Love can be hardly logical, and logic as a whole has nothing to do with Warhammer. I hardly think it would be out of hand to suggest an Eldar might for some reason could fall in love with a human, extreme emotions and all. While those emotions might kill her, they also are very real in way humanity could never know but could reciprocate. That's the kind of things that kills millions and moves mountains.

>> No.36949270

>>36949224
Thanks. But why does that outfit remind me of a swimsuit?

>> No.36949299

>>36949270
its not an eldar either apparently, but i dont complain too much

>> No.36949316

>>36949299
Could of fooled me.

>> No.36949332

>>36940375
One example doesn't wash away all the slaughter the Biel-Tan unleashed on other aliens.

Imperial records has Biel-Tan in serverqal instances aiding humans against Orks only to turn on them and purge them from the planet.

>> No.36949367

>>36949118
>>36949162
>>36949224
>>36949270
>>36949299
That's Cleome, Evangelyns younger sister. They are Cra (not-elf with DEM HIPS) from the game/show Wakfu. Adventure with every single girl and woman possessing dem childbearing hips.

>> No.36949412

>>36949367
Thanks for passing that on.

>> No.36949588

OP here. I'm going to bed. I'm going to be surprised if this thread is alive tomorrow.

>> No.36949600

>>36948943
Last one, maybe more though

Marisa tried to reply but was quickly cut off by the Eldar straddling her waist reached down again for another kiss. This time when she pulled away however Marisa felt slight disappointment, she had just began to enjoy it. It was heresy, one of the very worst kinds of heresy to continue, but Marisa really wanted it to go on. "Isn't this like bestiality for you?" the Sister asked. Tinwyrr smiled, "Yes, but I was never a very good Banshee anyway" she said as she began to pull off her top. The Eldar tossed it aside and began to work on Marisa's next, taking her sweet time. The Sororitas beneath her squirmed and tried to push Tinwyrr of her and almost succeeded if it were not for the fact Eldar were so agile and swift. "What?" asked the Banshee, "You don't want to?". Marisa confessed, "I didn't know your ears were like that, I'm sorry, it was an accident". Tinwyrr sighed in disappointment, "So you don't want to spend the night having fun? you want to spend it cold and sad?" she said as she worked Marisa's chest free from her close fitting body-glove.

Tinwyrr leaned down over Marisa, lightly mashing their bosoms together as she moved up and down slightly while doing her best to look sad and dejected. Not even prayer had ever gotten Marisa so excited and awake so quickly, and Tinwyrr's slow grinding against her felt so relaxing and nice. How much heresy could one night be? "Ah fuck it" said Marisa, "Get these damn pants off us, I love you you sexy bitch". With that Tinwyrr dived in for another kiss while Marisa fumbled with their remaining clothes.

End of I'm afraid tg, sorry that took so long but I'm tired and haven't even gotten close to writing smut before, so even the build up to smut is hard to do. If there is a lot of interest tomorrow on this thread I may try my hand at proper smut, but don't expect much. Also, how's my first Writefagging

>> No.36949626

>>36949367
You forgot to mention Cra are a subrace of Human like every other playable class in that game

>> No.36949642

>>36949600
9/10 would read again

>> No.36949650

>>36949600
Nicely done.

>> No.36949654

>>36948567
>I'm surprised that none of the more adventurous types have voted for the DEldar.
I wanna see a Ratling get with a Dark Eldar gurl now.

>> No.36949681

>>36949654
How did that make you think that? Humans are weird.

>> No.36949707

>>36949600
Not bad, writefag, not bad at all.

>> No.36949730

>>36949681
Cuz certain hobbits are adventurous.

>> No.36949752

>>36949600
I hope this thread lives until you can write again

>> No.36949755

>>36949730
I see. Someone needs to do some art or some writefaggotry of what you suggested. For science.

>> No.36949791

>>36947903
>>36948396
>>36948943
>>36949600
So good, yet so Heretical.
Would read again. 9/10.

>> No.36949808

>>36949755
You do realize I just imagined Bilbo getting it on with the space elves, right? Thanks for that, Anon, I'm not sure that's something I needed.

>> No.36949841

>>36949808
Ha! It worked. Actually, I would really like to read the adventures of "Space Bilbo."

>> No.36949986

>>36949600
I need s screencap of this...

>> No.36950175

Wouldn't an Eldar consider sex with a human pretty much beastiality? I can see the Dark Eldar chick being totally into it.

She might even be into gentle sex, with a lot of kissing, close embraces and long talks afterwards. She also has to hide you beneath her bed all day, taking you only out for filthy, despicably gentle sex.

>> No.36950299

>>36949986
Fuck it. Did it myself.

For any who wish to keep it.

>> No.36950463

I am not going Dark Eldar, I might go Craftworld but SoB is my main choice.

>> No.36950511

>>36945770
Because being point blank dosn't require it, how else is the blueberry going to rape him?

>> No.36950531

>How the mammals of Terra, with their brief, furious lifespans, barbaric technologies and shallow intellects had ever come to be a force of influence in the Cosmos was quite beyond her. They bred like vermin, brawled like children, and spread like insects. They had no depth to them; even the best of them had perilously little understanding of the true purpose of sentience.

>She had studied them carefully, appalled at their heathen ways and lack of cultural maturity, shocked by the ephemeral quality of their lives. She had seen their high art and music, and regarded both with disdain for their lack of profundity. She had watched them make wars, and laughed at the hollowness of their glories, and the frailty of their courage.

>In the old, old days, before Kaelor had become a neglected, decaying ghost of its former self, the aspect warriors would have derided her for consorting with the mammals of Terra. But the warriors were all but gone now, the elegant colonnades of the craftworld emptied of their glory. Those few that remained understood, as she did, that humans were the only pawns left for them to use.

>She wondered what the humans would make of her. A goddess, no doubt. In their eyes, she was a woman, far above average height for a human female, slender, and majestic. It was a ironic joke of the Cosmos that Eldar and human were so physically alike. Her perfection would have triggered wars of lust and driven human males to despair.

>She liked that idea. The mammals of Terra, weeping at her impossible beauty.

>She wept too. She wept blood. She wept for her mouldering craftworld and the shades of all those of her race that had perished. She wept because she had seen what was coming.

>Her name was Ela' Ashbel, Farseer. She considered what a human mouth would make of her name.

-From ''Blind Hopes'' short story

>> No.36950724

>>36950511
>him

>> No.36950766

>>36950724
Ssshh, don't blow it for "her," they've kept this Hospitaller gig going for so long.

>> No.36950889

>>36950511
>>36950724
>>36950766
OP here, I'm back. Never would I have imagined that I would be molested by a Tau while dressed up as a nurse.

>> No.36950931

>>36950889
Not OP btw.
this is my fetish.

>> tfw no female Firewarrior to molest my athletic body in hospitaler nurse uniform...

>> No.36950962

>>36950931
I'll swap places if you want.

>> No.36951060

>>36950931>>36950889
And now I have a sudden urge to write something out...

>> No.36951081

>>36951060
Go ahead. I'm curious to see how this will play out.

>> No.36951162

>>36951060
Go ahead, give me a reason for maintaining and ascending my mortal form.

Give me aesthetic, sexual molestation of consensual order by an aesthetically pleasing female.
Make me hard.

>> No.36951231

>>36938245
SoB are fanatically religious and would probably flame you for anything she might consider heresy, which would be just about anything. Also too focused on praising the Emperor to dpend much time with you.
DE, especially a trueborn and doubly so an Archon, would be insanely self absorbed, not to mention a complete psychopath by human standards. She'd be likely to kill you the moment she gets bored of you (which is very quickly) and her idea of kinky sex would involve shit like ripping out your heart and eating it while you're still alive. Also, she ests you soul.
Banshee would probably be the most stable. Eldar only take on their war mask perdonas when they go to war, so you wouldn't have to worry about her flipping out and killing you, at least. Also, it has been scientifically proven that Banshees have the greatest example of dat ass in the galaxy.

>> No.36951243

>>36946403

the /u/ was in them all along, but the tomb as a trap with corrosive glue, forcing them to discard their armors once it touches them. Then, they have to retreat to a safe space, with only the warmth of their bodies to survive the cold.

>> No.36951257

>>36947229
Dang, Cupid looks so bitter in this pic

>"You made me work for THIS, girl? Are you well in the head?"

>> No.36951265

>>36951231
OP here. This round goes for the Banshee.

>> No.36951277

>>36947374
>how do we get a Space Nun into a relationship with a Space Demon?

Does a Space Nun who worship Space Demon God count?

>> No.36951295

>>36951277
Technically yes.

>> No.36951309

>>36951081
>>36951162

Guardsmen Peters Hamlich ducked into the small alcove of strewn rubble and collapsed temple, his breath heavy from running and uniform... well attempting to desert in the uniform of a hospitaler he stole, just his luck the Tau force would make a breakthrough attack then.

Holding the laspistol too his bodice he took a few meek steps out into the open, gazing across at the rolling offensive that was going to, probably massacre high command and scatter the regiment to the next continent over.

As he stumbled across the rubble in the high heels muttering curses too the blue bastards he spotted a small red light piercing into his vision and raised a femininely gloved hand to block it.

That was when everything went wrong for the poor crossdressing coward...

A sudden stumble saw his left high heel snap and a particularly mean patch of rubble meeting his rear, regaining his senses he made to ditch the heels but the barrel of a weapon pressed into his personal space... too close for comfort.

>continued
Sorry its taking so long, working on a few writing projects at once.

>> No.36951324

>>36951309
It's okay. Take your time. I'm liking this so far.

>> No.36951343

>>36951309
Hahaha, I can't believe this is getting written based off of some weird comment I made

>> No.36951367

>>36951343
I'm surprised that this thread has made this far. I didn't expect it to get to 311 replies.

>> No.36951430

>>36951309
Looking up he could not believe what he saw, a remarkably tall and finely muscled xeno woman, her skin a shade of blue pleasant too the eye as her muscles moved with each little flex, her face framed by beautiful red hair complimenting her features. But the expression he could tell, was one that a cultist of the heretics would wear when delighting itself in pleasures indescribable.

A smirk that seemed to regard him as nothing but a thing to play with, her eyes burned into the fake breasts he had made by stuffing last weeks stale ration buns down there...

"Well well well... look what I have caught, a scared little Gue'la running on her lonesome."

Peters could only gasp meekly and hold his Aquilla closer to his fake mammaries as she got even closer, a quick glance and no sight of his pistol seemed to kill what little fire he had left as the Tau femefatal placed a hoof on his stomach and pressed him too the ground.

"Now then, insert you're hand into my wasteband..."

>> No.36951440

>>36951430
Shall I continue?

>> No.36951458

>>36951430
I guess some Tau can be corrupted by Slaanesh.
>>36951440
Yeah, keep going.

>> No.36951462

>>36951440
Do it, scrow

>> No.36951638

>>36951430
>>36951440
>>36951458
>>36951462

>>36951430
Peters started to cry as he did what he was told too do, he had been loyal too the Emperor his entire life. Had the Emperor forsaken him when trying to preserve his own skin for once?

Probably better than reviving a bullet and being strung up for the rest of the regiment to see, especially in a dress two sizes too small.

Peters sobbed as his fingers slid across her flesh and into her skintight unifom, the material parting easily as he moved further down, tears of sorrowful regret glistened into being as his fingers probed her small tuft of pubic hair and the wetness of her most unsanctified nether regions.

"Now my little pet, was that so hard?"
He could feel her bliss radiating from her pulsing cunt, her arousal tripling with each fearful step of heresy he committed.

"Now finger me, nice and gently. I don't want to ruin those pretty little hands of yours my pet"

The aroused fire warrior pressed the rifle barrel further into his cheek alongside the dirt and grim that started to cover him, looking up into his captors eyes apast the cold gunbarrel he didn't see anything other than desire, lust and longing.

Letting loose another long string of sobs he inserted a full three fingers into her soaked hole eliciting a gasp of sweet unadulterated joy from the blue sex fiend.

> am I doing well? might be a bit too smutty... I am not exactly sure of it...

>> No.36951672

>>36951638
Seems good to me.

>> No.36951691

>>36951638
I'm loving this. I wonder how she'll react when she finds out the truth? How good is her trigger discipline?

>> No.36951825

>>36948567
I play DE and like their lore, and I can see why nobody sane would vote for one.

First of all, sex with a DE wouldn't be kinky bondage sex. These are the people who created Slaanesh and thought it was a great idea to just keep going. Their idea of slightly kinky would me /d/ blush.
Also DE would be extremely selfish and self absorbed, with morality (if you can call it that) that boils down to "good=whatever is best for me, screw everybody else". A DE wouldn't have sex with you; she'd use you to masturbate.
And that's not even getting to the fact that they have the same extremely intense scale of emotions all Eldar have, but none of the restraint craftworld Eldar must have.
And then there's the way DE see humans (and anything else that is nor Eldar, and their view of others of their own kind is only slightly better). CWE consider humans to be a lesser race, but are shown to be able to emphatise with humans (infact, they consider humans not that bad compared to a lot of other aliens). For DE, humans are prey animals. Food. Meat that just happens to have learned to talk.

In other words, dating any DE, let alone an Archon, is a terrible idea and would get you killed and your soul devoured.
Then again, considering the vorecubi thread yesterday, it seems significant amount of /tg/ would be fine with having their soul eaten if it was by a hot woman.

All that said, if I could guarantee that I wouldn't be killed, I totally would go on a dste with the Archon, but only once. It would certainly be an interesting experience.

>> No.36951829

>>36951638
>>36951672
Thanks, my first time writing for /tg/ so I am a tad bit nervous.

>>36951638
>>36951638
He did as ordered, just like in the Guard and now here, as a fucktoy for a deranged xeno's pleasure cruise of battlefield joy.

He sped up his rhythm and range of motion according to the xeno's will and wants for a full seven minutes, her eyes glazing over with pure ecstasy as she let loose her orgasmic juices into his hands. The sticky slime hot too the touch and robbing him of the last shreds of dignity he had since putting on the dress.

Retracting his hand and as fast as he could he kicked her between the legs, the already fully stimulated nerves of her vaginal regions roaring in pleasure again as she screamed her loudest with joy.

He tore the high heels from his feet and started to run, run for a place too hide and die. Bad luck for Peters the Xeno wanted more, as he skipped and leaped across the rubble she chased and tackled him mid jump, tearing the dress all the way up his front as it hitched on a protruding spike of metal.

They landed with a solid thunk, her ontop of him, quickly shaking the pain off she grasped both of his hands and held them above his head, the rape eyes returning once more.

"You should not have run pet, now too teach you a lesson!"

using her well toned free arm she reached down too his crotch, the lace undergarments not doing much too hide his bulge of arousal, with no way she could see it by staring into his soul through his eyes...

Peters felt a finger, long and slender poke into his testicles,letting loose a very male groan of pleasure.

The Tau womans features went from aroused, too confused and then to sudden realization.
The two looked away from each other for about a good thirty seconds, her finger still prodding into his balls while he chewed his lower lip lightly and nervously.

"So... you're a m..man?"

Peters himself sighed and looked back at her.
"Y..Yeah, I am."

> cont

>> No.36951863

>>36951829
She smirked and grabbed his erection, eliciting a murmur of surprise and a look of worry.

"I am not sure why you wore the lace Gue'la,I personally don't care. But you helped me start and now you need to help finish it!..."


>Fin

So how was that? my first smut ever written outside of my mind...

>> No.36951891

>>36951863
It was great. I would of liked to see more, but for your first smut, I say great job.

>> No.36951936

>>36951891
Thanks, I guess I should write some more for the weekend smut threads.

I also have an idea about a squad of Howling Banshee's turned on by watching several Guardsmen survive CqC with Orks, then proceeding to hunt them down ala rape them.

Then I have so much in my fucked up mind...

>> No.36951946

>>36951891
Also I will write up a continued scene and post it on the smut thread the coming weekend.

>> No.36951995

>>36951936
Sounds like Dark Eldar wyches to me isntead of banshees. And your mind probably is tame compared to others.

>>36951946
Sounds great.

>> No.36952532

>>36949367
Her name is Cleophelia (Cléophée in French), though

>> No.36952556

>>36952532
Seems wikipedia was wrong. How can it be wrong!? It's edited by people!

>> No.36952839

>>36952556
It is people. Wikipedia is people.

>> No.36953174

>>36942414
Ok. Here we go. Thanks again /tg/. Update in the smut thread if anyone cares.

>> No.36953205

>>36953174

Break a leg, anon!

>> No.36953353

>>36953205
More likely to get it broken for me...but thank you

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