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[ERROR] No.36813137 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

AIMS: PLAN PLAN PLAN PLAN PLAN, MAKE SUSTAINABLE AMOUNTS OF SUFFERING PLAN PLAN PLAN FOR THE SUFFERING FOR THE PLANS

The universe is boring as shit. In the grim darkness of the 41st Millennium, there is only war.

War is fucking boring. Fuck Khorne for all his shitty rage-baby antics. It's no longer fun in this universe anymore!

Which universe shall you immigrate to, Tzeentch?

[] Digimon Tamers (Beginning)
[] Madoka Magica (Post-Rebellion)
[] Familiar of Zero
[] Pokemon (Season One)
[] Fate/Zero (After Kiritsugu is taken in by Natalia)
[] Fate/Zero (Beginning of Series)
[] Harry Potter
[] Evangelion
[] Star Wars (Episode I)
[] Titanic
[] Atlantis: The Lost Empire
[] The Legend of Zelda (Brings up suboptions)

>> No.36813162

>>36813137
>Atlantis: The Lost Empire

>> No.36813184

>>36813137
>Harry Potter
Time for all the magic.

>> No.36813197

>>36813162
Actually, Imma change this to Harry Potter.

>> No.36813231

>>36813137
>[X] Harry Potter

I have to admit I was tempted to go fate/zero just to fuck with everything. But I can't resist.

>> No.36813241

>>36813184
>>36813197

Harry Potter it in.

---

You notice that there is a highly magical universe outside there. You decide that it is the best realm of choice for you to spend a breather away from boring Khorne, perverted Slaanesh and smelly Nurgle.

How shall you enter this Plane, Changer of Plans? (You shall temporarily lose all your memories and have them replaced with only the instinct to plan)

[] As a magical split identity object (like the millenium puzzle from yu-gi-oh)
[] As a magical animal attracted to the one with the most importance
[] As a tool for channeling magical power

>> No.36813253

>>36813241
>[X] As a tool for channeling magical power

Evil Slytherin artifact.

>> No.36813287

>>36813241
>[X] As a tool for channeling magical power

>> No.36813312

>[] As a magical animal attracted to the one with the most importance

>> No.36813350

>>36813253
>>36813287

>>As a tool for channeling magical power

Of course, you are the Lord of Magic and of Change - Indeed, it is argued in the stupid little Imperium that the name mortals referred to you, "Tzeentch" was but the corruption of the word used to refer to change in the ancient, ancient tongue call "Ingleesh."

You could feel a strong resonance between that tongue and the world you were about to infiltrate in that.

You let your consciousness fade and you feel your divine presence drip away to a new and unknown world.
---
Birds of a feather stick together.

(Tzeentch temporary loses his memories)
---

You think therefore you are. That is the one 'truth' that exists in this 'world'.

>Concepts recognised - (Thought, Being, Truth World)

You think therefore you are.

Because you are, you can feel.

>Concepts recognised - (Thought, Being, Truth World, Causality, Feeling)

And because you can feel, you can discern dimension.

>Concepts recognised - (Thought, Being, Truth World, Causality, Feeling, Dimension)

You are long. You are made of a strong yet soft object, 'wood'.

>Concepts recognised (Thought, Being, Truth World, Causality, Feeling, Dimension, Wood)

You realise that as a being you are learning new things. You can choose to learn more things through self reflection and further contemplation.

>Concepts recognised (Thought, Being, Truth World, Causality, Feeling, Dimension, Wood, Learning, Contemplation)

[] Wait.
[] Make your way to whom you belong.
[] Other

>> No.36813363

>>36813241

>As a magical animal attracted to the one with the most importance

>> No.36813384

>>36813350
wait.

>> No.36813392

>>36813350

>Wait.

>> No.36813402

>>36813350
Wait

>> No.36813435

>>36813350
Wait

>> No.36813460

>>36813384
>>36813392
>>36813402

You opt to wait.
---

For an amount of time, you do nothing but contemplate about existence. You contemplate about existence, expanding your knowledge of its nature; you have mastered the concepts of 'cause' and 'effect', things which are linked intrinsically to each other. As such, you have a pretty strong theoretical understanding as an object of the nature of action and reaction.

Thus, you are intermediate in the concept of prediction.

That isn't even the full extent of your powers.

You are a fully sentient wand!

You for the first time, 'hear'. You have fully grasped the sense of hearing!

"'Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere — I wonder, now — yes, why not — unusual combination — holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple"

[] Be received
[] Be heard
[] Other

>> No.36813467

>>36813350
>[X] Wait.

>> No.36813484

>>36813460
can we change to 9 inches in length, please.

>> No.36813488

>>36813460
>[X] Other

Start glowing once you get in the kid's hand.

>> No.36813493

>>36813460

>>>36813484
>Be received

>> No.36813517

>>36813460
be received.

>> No.36813531

>>36813460
>[] Be received
>[] Be heard

in that order

>> No.36813543

>>36813517
>>36813493
>>36813531

You choose to be 'received'.

You 'fly' across 'non-solidness', and you feel yourself grasped in the presence of the a hand.

[] Be heard.
[] Listen

>> No.36813565

>>36813543

Listen

>> No.36813571

>>36813543
Listen

>> No.36813582

>>36813565
>>36813571

You choose to 'listen' (a combination of 'wait' and 'hear'). You remain stationary in the grasp of the individual that holds you.

"Strange - it won't react..."

[] React
[] Talk
[] Other

>> No.36813584

>>36813543
Be heard. Start glowing.

>> No.36813590

>>36813582

>>36813584

>> No.36813595

>>36813582
>Zap

>> No.36813601

>>36813582
>> other
shrink two inches

>> No.36813624

>>36813584
>>36813590

You choose to do a 'reaction'. In fact, you choose to be heard. You thin about existence and you think about letting your existence known.

You glow.

"Oh bravo! Yes, Indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well.. curious... how very curious... how exceptionally curious! It won't stop glowing!"

[] Stop glowing
[] Ask a question
[] Other

>> No.36813630

>>36813624
stop glowing!

>> No.36813634

>>36813582
Be heard

"ayy lmao"

>> No.36813641

>>36813624
>[X] Stop glowing

Or alternatively, send a bolt of energy through the shopkeep's abdomen.

>> No.36813646

>>36813624

>Stop glowing

>> No.36813650

>>36813624
stop glowing

>> No.36813680

>>36813630
>>36813641
>>36813650
>>36813646

You choose to "stop glowing".

"Well, it's as if it obeys verbal commands... Strange... but nonetheless... Curious..Curious..."

"Sorry, but what's curious?"

[] Listen on
[] Be curious.
[] other

>> No.36813705

>>36813680
>[X] Listen on

Not that this isn't fun, but can we move out of the wand shop now?

>> No.36813766

>>36813680

>>36813705

>> No.36813793

>>36813680
>Explode

>> No.36813794

>>36813680
>[X] Listen on

He should buy us. Then we can go screw with him later.

>> No.36813807

>>36813705
>>36813766

You decide to listen on.

---

"-terrible, yes, but great."

[] Search for your 'brother'
[] Wait
[] Rustle everyone's jimmies
[] Other

>> No.36813817

>>36813807
[X] Rustle everyone's jimmies

>> No.36813824

>>36813807
>[X] Rustle everyone's jimmies
Someone has to die.

>> No.36813825

>>36813807
>teleport the shopkepper to outside of the shop

>> No.36813893

>>36813817
>>36813824

You decide to 'rustle everyone's jimmies'. You don't know what that means, until it comes to you - to 'rustle' is to disturb, and 'jimmies' refers to a person's state of being.

As a wand, you decide to literally talk.

"Heil He-Who-Must-Be-Named all day erry day! Long live He-Who-Must-Be-Named! He is the greatest person in the world! He-Who-Must-Be-Named will lead us to glory and victory Heil He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"

"What is this Dark Magic! Oh dear, I'm afraid, I'm going to have to temporarily reimburse you, Mr Potter! If word gets out I've been stocking goods like these, the whole Daily Prophet will be on to me and ruin everything, dear oh dear! I'm going to send it to the Ministry of Magic to have it checked for any Dark Magic. It it's fine, you can pick it up later, but until then, I'm sorry I have to send it to the Ministry."

[] Attack the man who just said that.
[] Be passive
[] Other

Sorry guys. I need to do something until 2100 UTC. Thanks for your participation so far and if possible, please bump this up for discussion so I can return with continuity later. Thank you /tg/!

>> No.36813899

>>36813893
Other

>> No.36813956

>>36813893
>Attack the man who just said that.

>> No.36814001 [SPOILER] 

>> No.36814003

>>36813893
[] Other
"Ya kid take me from this madman you can only have only one wand and he wants to steal me from you"

>> No.36814047

>>36813893

We have limited knowledge and understanding, so it will be hard to avoid this. We can't really attack the shopowner if we want to get the CORRUPT THE CHOSEN ROUTE, so we'll have to make do.

[] Other : Express regret, distress. Appeal to our owner. Maybe do a little trick to amuse him.

>> No.36814059

>>36814047
I support this action

>> No.36814087

>>36814047
If by regret you mean saying they can't take a joke I support this

>> No.36814158

>>36814047
This. "It's not like I named him or anything."

>> No.36814379

>Choosing rustlin' jimmies.

You fucked up. I say
>Other: turn everyone in the room into Chaos Spawn.
next chance we get.

Oh wait, scratch that,
>Other: possess Harry Potter.

>> No.36814409

>>36814047
>>36813893
Other: accuse the Man speaking {shopowner} of misinterpreting what you said.

>> No.36815804

>>36813893
other:turn everyone into chaos spawn

>> No.36819240

Bemp

>> No.36819551

>>36814059
>>36814087
>>36814158
>>36814409

"Oh for fuck's sake, old man, you can't even take a joke, ya grubby cunt. If I were a Dark Magic Artifact, don't you think by now, I would have killed you, you smelly old grot? For old Merlin's sake, I've been lying in this smelly old shop for what? A long long time! I've been here for a long long time. Now, other wands pick their grot-damned cunt cheese owners, right? Other wands are shit compared to me! Holly and phoenix feather, Merlin-damned, I'm a wand of the highest quality. So while those other dumb cunts are doing just the simple old "the wand chooses the owner" bollocks, I'm busy in my box thinking about the meaning of life and existence. I'm that good a bloody wand, you smelly old East End cunt! I didn't even say He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's full name, I just said it to grab your attention. Hey boy, grab on to me!"

You feel the grasp of a boy around you.

[] "Tell you want old man, for your bollocks cunt-cheese 'everything is dark' magic bullshit, I'm going to him for free!"
[] Cast a explosion of cute rainbow things in the old man's direction
[] other

>> No.36820489

>>36819551
>[] "Tell you want old man, for your bollocks cunt-cheese 'everything is dark' magic bullshit, I'm going to him for free!"
>[] Cast a explosion of cute rainbow things in the old man's direction

>> No.36820798

>>36819551
[] Cast a explosion of cute rainbow things in the old man's direction

>> No.36821133

>>36819551
>[] "Tell you want old man, for your bollocks cunt-cheese 'everything is dark' magic bullshit, I'm going to him for free!"
>[] Cast a explosion of cute rainbow things in the old man's direction

>> No.36821333

>>36820489
>>36820798
>>36821133

"Tell you want old man, for your bollocks cunt-cheese 'everything is dark' magic bullshit, I'm going to him for free!" You say this to him and you hear a hum of disapproval and contemplation...

"Well, I have a doubt you would want to be with anyone else, so... Why not?"

"Indeed, this boy seems to the perfect person to wield me. Isn't that right, boy."

"Well..."

"Give me a whirl you little grot!"

The boy obliges, whirling you.

You 'vomit' out sparkles and glitter and even a plush of a purple bird.

"My, this wand is receptive to you, isn't it? Guess I really have no choice...I'll give him to you free. Normally it would've been ten galleons... but indeed, he's receptive to you!"

The boy exits the store.

---

[] Try and have a conversation with the boy.
[] Wait
[] Other

>> No.36821354

>>36819551
Give voice to the other wands. Let them be heard.

>> No.36821395

>>36821333
>[] Try and have a conversation with the boy.
Let's find out what's going on. Maybe make a few of the cobbles in the road permanently burn with heatless flame?

>> No.36821411

>>36821333
>[X] Try and have a conversation with the boy.

>> No.36821498

>>36821411
>>36821395

The boy, instead of boxing you, for it was as if he recognised your dignity as a self-spelling wand, held onto you as he walked.

Through contact with the boy, you have discovered another sense; sight.

Around you, while the boy is walking, you see that there are rectangular pieces of solidness in your direction. When you look around, you see that the sides are lined by pieces of solidness which can be seen through. It is an interesting new world you are in, as a fully sentient wand.

"Hey boy!" You say to the one holding you.

"Yes?"

[] "Who are you?"
[] "Want to go and make trouble?"
[] Other

>> No.36821570

>>36821498
Wanna buy some drugs?

>> No.36821646

>>36821498
Want to use my 11 inches for something interesting?

>> No.36821822

>>36821498
>[] "Want to go and make trouble?"

>> No.36821908

>>36821498
>[] "Want to go and make trouble?"

>> No.36822170

>>36821570
>>36821646
>>36821822
>>36821908

{Synthesising options}

"Hey boy! You want to go and cause some trouble? Go out and start blazing 420 all day erry day? Meet some rude boys and start firing some cake? Tell you what, you can get some clay right? You shove me right into that clay, you leave a cavity, you cut it out and you make a smoking pipe with it? Then you blaze weed all day erryday and then all your troubles go away? You think that good?"

"Well, I learnt that at school that you shouldn't..."

The man beside the boy stares at you.

[] "Screw that!"
[] "Fine, we'll go and do some trouble you might like. Throwing boogers on girls, how dat sound?"
[] Other

>> No.36822243

>>36822170
"Look at this guy, he knows what I'm talking about. I know that look, those shifty eyes and god damn that hair. You're prolly all jacked up right now, aren't you?"

>> No.36822909

>>36822170
>[] "Fine, we'll go and do some trouble you might like. Throwing boogers on girls, how dat sound?"

>> No.36824066

>>36822243
>>36822909

"Hey, big man. The way you look with your unkempt hair, your nasty beard and that strange feel in your eyes; I bet you're one of them rude boys aren't ya? Burning things down every day down at the East End, known what I mean? I bet you must do a lot of the good stuff they way you look big."

The large man stares at you while the little boy continues holding onto you.

"Well, 'Arry, I think you've got quite handful to deal with, don't ya? A self-spelling wand out f nowhere. Blimey!"

You are annoyed by the man's attempt to put the conversation somewhere else.

"Well, since none of you are interest in blazing right now, how about we do something you might like? Throw boogies at girls and whatnot? I can do it!"

"You see, well, I'm not exactly sure whether..."

[] "Stop being a bitch boy, I know you're more than that!"
[] "And to think I sensed so much potential in you..."
[] Other

>> No.36824128

>>36824066
>[] "Stop being a bitch boy, I know you're more than that!"
>[] "And to think I sensed so much potential in you..."
best quest on /tg/ right now.

>> No.36824314

>>36824066
we're tzeentch guys, this is not exactly being subtle.

>[] "And to think I sensed so much potential in you..."

>> No.36824374

>>36824128
>>36824314

"And to think I sense so much potential in you..." You say this softly and coolly as if trying to bait and further pique the attention of the interesting individual that has his grasp on you.

"Potential..."

"That's right kiddo! You have potential! You are..."

[] "The Chosen One."
[] "Everyone's Hopes Embodied"
[] Other

>> No.36824492

>>36824374
>other
"strong child, within you i sense the powers to be great... to be a force of change in this world. i forsee the events that come to pass, and all points have one thing in common. You, little one, have the fate of this world, a world of magic and wonder, in the palm of your hands. the question is, what shall you do? shall you lead them to glory, reaching heights never to be seen again? Or, do you gather the power for yourself, and become free from all that there is..."

and you have to do it in the sindri voice. thats the key

>> No.36824583

>>36824374
"...well, noone special really. I mean, obviously you're special, but not like 'special needs' special. Look, kid, your friend here? He's gonna take you someplace that will hurt. Alot. And you'll get famous, and get friends, and become loved and hated by alotta really important people. OR you can stick with me and we'll get all shiggy in this diggy, know what I'm sayin?"

"That means we'll get in charge."

>> No.36824671

>>36824583
>>36824492
both are good, go ahead and use both

>> No.36824966

>>36824492
>>36824583
>>36824671

"That's right kiddo! You have potential! You are......well, noone special really. I mean, obviously you're special, but not like 'special needs' special. Look, kid, your friend here? He's gonna take you someplace that will hurt. Alot. And you'll get famous, and get friends, and become loved and hated by alotta really important people. OR you can stick with me and we'll get all shiggy in this diggy, know what I'm sayin?"

The kid continues to look at you in puzzlement.

You clear your imaginary throat the best a wand can do.

"Eh em...strong child, within you I sense the power to be great... To be a force of change in this world. I forsee the events that come to pass, and all points have one thing in common. You, little one, have the fate of this world, a world of magic and wonder, in the palm of your hands. The question is, what shall you do? Shall you lead them to glory, reaching heights never to be seen again? Or, do you gather the power for yourself, and become free from all that there is?"

The boy continues to be puzzled.

The big man asks a question.

"Were you enchanted by a mad wizard or something?"

"That's none of your business. But ultimately, young boy, that means we'll get in charge."

[] "So, what you want to do?"

[] "That means you should be displaying dominance!"

[] Other

>> No.36825016

>>36824966
>[] "So, what you want to do?

>> No.36825131

>>36824966
>[] "So, what you want to do?"
"Oh, and fat guy, you seem alright for a snuff-blower. Keep me hooked up and I'll see that you go places."

>> No.36825262

>>36825016
>>36825131

"So, what you want to do?" You ask the little boy.

"What do I want to do... Well... I don't know what I want to do..."

"Baagh, typical shy little boy syndrome. Oy, big guy!"

"Yes, Mr Sentient Wand?"

"On a side note, if you can get some of the good blazing stuff for me, I assure you, you'll go places."

"I don't smoke or do any of that, you should know."

[] "Then why do you look like it? Do you just like grabbing rudeboy attention? Shave if you don't want me to confuse with with a blazer."

[] "That's bullshit and I can tell you by the tip of my core if you lie again I'll be blazing you instead."

[] Other

>> No.36825303

>>36825262
>[] "Then why do you look like it? Do you just like grabbing rudeboy attention? Shave if you don't want me to confuse with with a blazer."

>> No.36825871 [SPOILER] 

>>36825262
[] Other
"Getting high might get the creative juices flowing is all I'm saying"

>> No.36826313

>>36825262
>[] "Then why do you look like it? Do you just like grabbing rudeboy attention? Shave if you don't want me to confuse with with a blazer."

"Seriously, though, that spider venom in you right now is the good stuff. I can tell. I've got a core for this kinda thing."

>> No.36826898

>>36826313
>>36825303

"Then why do you look like it? Do you just like grabbing rudeboy attention? Shave if you don't want me to confuse you with a blazer."

The large man simply grunts in dismay, as if he is resigned to the fact that you are rude and annoying.

"You wouldn't know what having a beard is like, so I don't think ya can tell me to get rid of it."

You reciprocate the frustration, grunting as much as a wand can.

The evening passes through with your inane banter.

---

"See yeh soon, Harry."

[] "So... You've got any games we can play at home?"
[] "That man is more boring than my box."
[] Other

>> No.36827020

>>36826898
>[] "That man is more boring than my box."
And that's sayin something. I counted out exactly how many fibers were in the lining of my box when I got especially bored.

>> No.36827152

>>36826898
>[] "That man is more boring than my box."

>> No.36827327

>>36826898
[] Other
"I bet you're just itching to cause some mischief eh kid? Unsupervised with a stick that can do anything with a mere flick and swish, so whatchu going to do with it?"

>> No.36827329

>>36826898
>[] "So... You've got any games we can play at home?"

>> No.36827364

>>36827020
>>36827152

"That man is more boring than my box."

You say this as the boy named 'Harry' continues eating his burger.

"I wouldn't say Hagrid is boring. He's just pleasant to be around because he's brotherly."

"Yeah, well, I never met my brother, so I don't know how I'd feel, but I think that's a positive thing right?"

"Shh! The muggles are going to hear you!"

The boy places his burger to the side and unceremoniously shove you back into his box.

---

Judging by the stillness of the world around you, it seems as if you've been placed somewhere not moving.

[] Pop out of the box.
[] Wait to be taken out.
[] Other

>> No.36827390

>>36826898
Teach him why the 41st millenium fears the chant that "all is dust"

>> No.36827397

>>36826898
>[] "So... You've got any games we can play at home?"

>> No.36827402

>>36827364
>[] Pop out of the box.
"What's a muggle?"

>> No.36827409

>>36827390
{Tzeentch has temporarily locked his memories of the 41st Millennium away for the sake of entertainment}

>> No.36827420

>>36827364
>"NottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNotthebox!"

>> No.36827498

>>36827402
>>36827420

For a shorter amount of time than in the old man's store, you find yourself trapped in the box. Having known the beauty that was the outside world, you learn fear. You learn the fear of closed spaces. You learn what claustrophobia is.

Inside of the box, you continuously utter "NottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNottheboxNotthebox!"

You hear a vague yelling of a deep voiced man far away. You continue screaming out your fear until the young boy opens your box. You sigh a sigh of relief. He roughly picks you up.

"Could you please shut up?"

"What's a muggle but?"

"They're everyone else, people who don't know about magic. You mustn't make them know of you!"

[] "I interact with whom I choose to interact, thank you very much."
[] "So will you let me have some fun then?"

>> No.36827541

>>36827498
>[] "So will you let me have some fun then?"

>> No.36827545

>>36827498
>[] "I interact with whom I choose to interact, thank you very much."

>> No.36827589

>>36827498
>[] "So will you let me have some fun then?"

>> No.36827599

>>36827498
>[] "So will you let me have some fun then?"

>> No.36827674

>>36827541
>>36827589
>>36827599

"So will you let me have some fun then?"

"So long as you don't cause more trouble, then I suppose you can."

"Great! Get me a board game."

"Well - I've got Risk and Snakes and Ladders - You try to conquer the world in Risk and you try to reach the 100 square in Snakes and Ladders..."

[] "Risk it is!"
[] "Snakes and ladders please!"
[] Other

>> No.36827742

>>36827674
>Let's try and combine the two! Risk is fun and all, but it doesn't show all the minute political complexities that you find in Snakes and Ladders.

Or, we could just, ya know, play Risk. If you wanna be boringpleasedon'tputmeintheboxagain

>> No.36827746

>>36827674
both simultaneously

>> No.36827792

>>36827674
Shit, both combined sound more interesting.

>> No.36827808

>>36827674
>[] "Risk it is!"
"So how do we go about this? Who's the leader of this country and how did he become ruler?"

>> No.36827858

>>36827742
>>36827746
>>36827792
>>36827808

"Hmm... Snakes and ladders sounds like one based on random chances... Risk sounds like there's strategy involved..."

You feel an inexplicable rush of euphoria fly through you as you mention the word 'strategy'.

"Why not both?"

"How would that work?"

[] "First one to win in one game wins the round, three rounds in one match."
[] "Every turn in Risk, we roll a d100. The target number is our current number in Snakes and Ladders. If we meet that target, our armies get perks."

>> No.36827889

This is brilliant.
>>36827858
>[] "Every turn in Risk, we roll a d100. The target number is our current number in Snakes and Ladders. If we meet that target, our armies get perks."

>> No.36827919

>>36827858
>[] "Every turn in Risk, we roll a d100. The target number is our current number in Snakes and Ladders. If we meet that target, our armies get perks."

I want to do this now.

>> No.36828120

>>36813137
>MAKE SUSTAINABLE AMOUNTS OF SUFFERING
wait, THIS is tzeentch's goal?

>> No.36828132

>>36827889
>>36827919

Every turn in Risk, we roll a d100. The target number is our current number in Snakes and Ladders. If we meet that target, our armies get perks. Sounds fair?"

Sure.

Harry retrieves some dies.

Do you load them?

[] Yes
[] No

>> No.36828173

>>36828132
Nah. Kid needs some confidence and we need some practice.

>> No.36828241

>>36827858
>[] "Every turn in Risk, we roll a d100. The target number is our current number in Snakes and Ladders. If we meet that target, our armies get perks."

>> No.36828259

>>36828132
>[] No

>> No.36828305

>>36828132
>[] No
kick up a stink if we lose, insulting boardgames in general.

>> No.36828309

>>36828173
>>36828259

You choose not to load the dies. You believe that this young boy needs to be more confident in himself. It's quite a sad site seeing him moping and indecisive. As for you, loading dies wouldn't allow you simulate the randomness of existence.

---

On risk, you currently possess all of the Old World and Australia. Harry possesses the Western Hemisphere.

He is currently on square 60 for snakes and ladders. You are on square 40.

[] Attack
[] Defend

>> No.36828365

>>36828309
>[] Attack
We have Australia, there's no way we can lose.

>> No.36828384

>>36828309
Bait him into an early attack. He's young, if we shore up our core we might be able to trick him into attacking a seemingly easy flank. Whatever bonus he gets in Snakes and Ladders, it won't be able to compensate for that kind of overextension.

>> No.36828426

>>36828384
this

>> No.36828512

>literally no idea what stategy is better because hasn't into board games for 4 years

>> No.36828612

>>36828512
what is chess

>> No.36828674

>>36828384
>>36828426

You decide to try and bait Harry. As a wand, you float in the same place for along amount of time, as if in contemplation. You usher nearly all of your European forces to the East.

---

Harry has taken the bait.

You have rallied a significant amount of troops in West Africa. You attack Gibraltar with them.

---

You've managed to capture Iceland. You are going to have your army turtle there. You see that Harry is trying to muster forces in Brazil...

---

An army that was prepared in South East Asia is currently on the offensive against Harry's army in Eastern Europe. Without the reinforcements of continental bonuses, Harry can only call upon the Snakes and Ladders bonueses.

---

Harry's army in Brazil is getting larger everyday, seeming ready to cross the Atlantic gap even as his dwindling army in Europe is finally being crushed by the Indian Ocean Army.

It's time!

---

Alaska is pretty strongly defended. For an owner of two continents.

Nonetheless, you complete the Bering crossing.

---

Instead of using the Brazilian army to attack Africa, which he could've easily conquered, Harry counterattacks, forcing the Brazilian Army to North America.

---

You decide to make a gambit.

The last of Harry's armies on the Eastern Front pounded into dirt, you roll the dies to invade the now weakly protected Brazil.

Harry no longer has most of his continental bonuses. Your Snakes and Ladders bonus is catching up to his.

---

Enthusiastic as he is, playing to the last territory, Eastern North America is finally conquered.

[] "That was good Harry! You lasted quite a while against me."
[] "Heh heh, I win."
[] Other

>> No.36828704

>>36828674
>[] "That was good Harry! You lasted quite a while against me."

>> No.36828781

>>36828674
>[] "That was good Harry! You lasted quite a while against me."

>> No.36828787

>>36828674
[] "That was good Harry! You lasted quite a while against me."

Coach him in the key points of the game, the key turns. Use magic to recreate the turns where he'd made poor decisions, and where he'd made good ones. Let him see up close exactly where and how he lost.

>> No.36828906

>>36828674
>[] "That was good Harry! You lasted quite a while against me."

>> No.36828926

>>36828704
>>36828781
>>36828787

You continue to flit and fly around like the lively little sentient wand you are. You flitter and float, flexibly bending yourself at times to demonstrate your energy and joy to harry.

"That was good Harry! You lasted quite a while against me."

Harry looks at you as you as if he is curious as to why you use 'against me' as if implying you were a master strategist.

"Well, most of dreams consisted of planning and scheming and I enjoy it, so even if I'm a novice like you, I'd have an edge."

You flitter and flatter and point yourself straight at him.

---

"For every opportunity, there is a cost! I didn't just transfer the army from Europe over to Asia for no good reason."

---

"You could have taken Western Africa the moment I attacked Alaska, but you chose to react instead."

---

"If you chose to retreat for the Alaskan Army merging it with the Brazilian Army, you would've created a stronger force that could have reclaimed South American then Africa, creating a new endgame!"

You teach him about his mistakes.

---

Harry's asleep.

[] Go mess around.
[] Spend the night peacefully.
[] Other

>> No.36828989

>>36828926
>[] Go mess around.
PLANSPLANSPLANSPLANS

>> No.36829008

>>36828926
>Spend the night peacefully

No need to incite the wrath of THE BOX! So let's just spike Hagrid's drink with something magical and call it a night.

>> No.36829071

>>36829008
...good plan

>> No.36829084

>>36829008
Second

>> No.36829104

>>36829008
>>36829071
>>36829084
Let's do this.

>> No.36829119

>>36813137
>Mfw I find this thread and the Harry Potter theme starts playing in Pandora

>> No.36829138

>>36829008
>>36829071
>>36829104

You decide to spend the night peacefully. You think of spiking the large man's drink...

...his drink is nowhere to be found.

Dursleys' isn't it? That's right, you're at the Dursleys' place... No wonder Hagrid is around.

That owl Hedwig looks like a good person to spend time with...

In fact, you feel aroused... Dat plumage. Those claws! That pretty beak!

[] Chat her up
[] Spend the night peacefully
[] other

>> No.36829155

YES. YES. THIS IS SO DELICIOUS

>> No.36829200

>>36829138
>Chat her up. "Hey baby, you come here often?"

>> No.36829269

"You ever had phoenix feather in ya' white-winged angel?"

>> No.36830050

Gonna take a break until 0000 UTC. Until then, please bump this for me. Thank you!

>> No.36830855

Bumping for potential.

>> No.36833122

Dear god, this is amusing

>> No.36833530

>>36813350
>Ingleesh
I did a spit-take at that pun. Just as you had planned.

>> No.36834278

*bump for The Great Mutator!*

>> No.36834505

This is amazing

>> No.36835259

Bump

>> No.36836828

Just as Bumped.

>> No.36837067

bump

>> No.36837381

>>36829138
>>36829200
Slaanesh plz go

>> No.36837625

BUMPITY BUMP BUMP

>> No.36837944

You decide to spend the night peacefully. You think of spiking the large man's drink...

...his drink is nowhere to be found.

Dursleys' isn't it? That's right, you're at the Dursleys' place... No wonder Hagrid isn't around.

That owl Hedwig looks like a good person to spend time with...

In fact, you feel aroused... Dat plumage. Those claws! That pretty beak!

[] Chat her up
[] Spend the night peacefully
[] other

>> No.36838104

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>36837944
>[] Chat her up
Rolling for seduction.

>> No.36838131

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>36837944
[] Chat her up
I also roll dangerously

>> No.36838145

>>36837944
>Chat her up, compliment her plumage

>> No.36838150

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>36838131
>>36838104
see >>36837381
>>36837944
think about strategy

>> No.36838181

>>36838150

>> No.36838205

>>36838181
Naw, he wasn't rolling to seduce.

>> No.36838207

>>36838181
I tried so hard

>> No.36838238

>>36838104
>>36829200
>>36829269
>>36838131
>>36838145

"Hey... Hey, hot chick!"

You find you are not speaking in English. Indeed, you are speaking in Owlish, hooting and clicking.

"What?" Hedwig asks you.

"You know your plumage is beautifully white?"

"Thanks. Snowy Owl master race."

Wot.

[] "Are you some kind of supremacist or something?"
[] "Is Phoenix honorary Snowy?"
[] Other

>> No.36838274

>>36838238
"trust me, once you go phoenix tailfeather you never go back. Try me, and prove me wrong, but I'm warning you now, babe: I'm magic in the sack."

>> No.36838376

>>36838238
>>36838274
Sure, let's go for this. Harry's probably going to wake up in the middle and be scarred.

>> No.36838383

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>36838238
That's speciesist. You should really open your worldview.

>> No.36838623

>>36838238
>>36838274
THIS

>> No.36838694

>>36838274
>>36838376

"Trust me, once you go phoenix tailfeather you never go back. Try me, and prove me wrong, but I'm warning you now, babe: I'm magic in the sack."

Hedwig giggles.

"That may be so, but you have no cloaca."

[] FOILED AGAIN
[] "You want to gently caress instead?"
[] Other

>> No.36838748

>>36838694
[] Other
Can we transmogrify ourself?

>> No.36838752

>>36838694
[] Other
I'M MAGIC!
THERE IS NO PROBLEM MAGIC CAN'T SOLVE!
>do the magic thing.

>> No.36838753

>>36838694
"And?"

"I can make this work. Trust me on this."

>> No.36838823

>>36838748
>>36838752
>>36838753

You think of solving that problem.

What if you could transform into an owl? Then you could have your way with her all you want!

You gather your sentient strength and focus onto just that.

A light blue aura is around you...

You fail to transform.

[] "Guess I have to settle with caressing, eh?"
[] "That's it, I'm going to sleep!"

>> No.36838842

>>36838823
[] "Guess I have to settle with caressing, eh?"
Yes, give her the wand

>> No.36838881

>>36838823
[] "Guess I have to settle with caressing, eh?"
[] For now.
Our power any skill will grow...
Unless the reason it failed is because we need a caster, but I don't think Harry will help us score with his owl.

>> No.36838884

>>36838823
>[] "Guess I have to settle with caressing, eh?"
"Simple arrangment. Give eachother what fun we can get until we find someone else to, ah, spend time with."

>> No.36838899

>>36838881
That's because you're not trying hard enough. Everything will go Just as Planned

>> No.36839012

>>36838842
>>36838881
>>36838884

You jump into Hedwig's cage. You ready yourself.

You start vibrating. Your sense become slightly muddled up as you continue vibrating.

You leap up and nuzzle against her face. You feel the wonderful softness of her plumage against your wood (heh) and you continue caressing her. You feel her wing feathers wrap around your being and you relish the gentleness with which she caresses you.

Eventually you grow bored of it. It's so intense, that even for a nocturnal animal, she falls asleep.

You decide to go rest as well.

---

You're in the BOX again.

[] Try and keep your nerves. {roll 1d100, target higher than 30}
[] Stay in the box

>> No.36839045

>>36839012
[] Try and keep your nerves. {roll 1d100, target higher than 30}
Boy. Why am I in the box AGAIN.

>> No.36839052

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>36839012
>try and keep your nerves

I know what I rolled, bitch.

>> No.36839057

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>36839012
[] Try and keep your nerves. {roll 1d100, target higher than 30}
We must master all our senses

>> No.36839065

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>36839045
oops
forgot roll

>> No.36839070

>>36839057
It was meant to be.

>> No.36839095

>>36839065
Hope it's best of 3. You guys are all clearly hated by the dice gods.

>> No.36839144

>>36839065
>>36839057
>>36839052

Your claustrophobia is closing onto you. You can feel it. Your fear grows and grows, until it feels like something is about to eat you. You whimper and pant in fear, your sanity barely intact. You know you have to be discreet and polite. But why the box? Why the bloody box!

[] "MERLINDAMMIT I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Pop out
[] Try and stay in the box {Roll 1d100, target 60 or under}

>> No.36839166

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>36839144
>[] Try and stay in the box {Roll 1d100, target 60 or under}
Here's how you roll.

>> No.36839185

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>36839144
In the box

>> No.36839187

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>36839144
[] Try and stay in the box {Roll 1d100, target 60 or under}
BOY. EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

>> No.36839196

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>36839144
>[] Try and stay in the box {Roll 1d100, target 60 or under}
Ok, in all seriousness, this is probably a bad time.

>> No.36839221

>>36839196
Please never participate in chance-based games for the rest of your life.

>> No.36839235

>>36839221
>60 or under

>> No.36839281

>>36839196
>Rolled 1 (1d100)
>60 or under
>Lower is better
>We got another nat 1 a few posts ago

TZEENTCH HAS BLESSED US

>> No.36839285

>>36839235
Focusing more on that he rolled what would normally be a crit fail on a d100.

>> No.36839299

>>36839187
>>36839185
>>36839166
>>36839196

>>36839221
{Since we're rolling UNDER, 1 is auto-success}

You opt to stay in the box. The fear is growing tighter and every minute of your existence you grow more anxious. Hell, you're feeling your sentience actually kind of fade away in all the fear you're having. It's actually kind of funny. You've had no fear when you were in the box before you were bought. It was only after you were bought that you feared being in the box. Ignorance was bliss in all honesty.

The box you are in has a slight opening. Relieved you roll yourself out.

And what you see...

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one."

[] Listen on.
[] "I see one right here. You."
[] Other

>> No.36839324

>>36839196

>> No.36839343

>>36839299
[] Listen on.
observe the twerps to know how to deal with them individually later.

>> No.36839349

>>36839299
"Boy. You have 10 seconds to explain why I was in the box."

>> No.36839360

>>36839299
>[] "I see one right here. You."
Would people be able to tell it's us talking or would they just assume it's some other prick?

>> No.36839368

>>36839299
Hey, listen, listen hey!

>> No.36839413

>>36839349
this

>> No.36839429

Just walk into da club like

>> No.36839488

>>36839413
>>36839349

"Boy. You have 10 seconds to explain why I was in the box."

Talking wands are rare. Firstly, they are rare because they are not mass-produced. Secondly, they are rare because wands do not generally have the ability to become sentient. Thirdly, they are rare because people can't be bothered trying to make self-spelling wands.

"Oh, Mr Wand..." Harry has noticed you. The others are also looking at you.

"Well, I needed to keep you somewhere safe."

[] "I'M TERRIFIED OF THE BOX DAMMIT!"
[] "You wouldn't put me up your arse would you?"
[] Other

>> No.36839567

>>36839488
"Boy, have you ever been forced into a very small space for a very, very long time? It isn't pleasant."

>> No.36839587

>>36839567
>>36839488
This

>> No.36839618

>>36839567
Yes.

>> No.36839620

>>36839587
agreed

>> No.36839783

>>36839567
>>36839587
>>36839618
>>36839620

"Boy, have you ever been forced into a very small space for a very, very long time? It isn't pleasant."

The other look on.

"Woah! Is that a talking wand?" Thanks for stating the obvious, soulless.

"I've never really thought of it that way... And if you hate the box too much, you could've just told me."

" I D-... Wait a minute, no I didn't tell you..."

The brown haired girl on the side asks...

"Do you happen to be a ventriloquist?"

[] "He's not a ventriloquist, I'm a fully sentient wand!"

[] Mock the girl's tone of voice by repeating her.

[] Other

>> No.36839810

>>36839783
Scan her with magic scanning shit. Medical diagnosis spells, then ask her name.

"Well, Ms [blank] You have [list off her medical qualities]."

>> No.36839815

>>36839783
Other

"Yes I am, wanna see my dummy sometime?"

>> No.36839832

>>36839783
>Mock the girl's tone of voice by repeating her.

>> No.36839835

>>36839783
>[] Other
"Well if he is, I think people are going to have a lot to say about his conversation with a certain owl last night."

>> No.36839849

>>36839783
>>36839815
>>36839835
those are good.
You're just asking for cheekiness, Hermione.

How long before we have to deal with some blonde twat harassing our boy?

>> No.36839954

>>36839815
>>36839783
This

>> No.36839958

>>36839815
>>36839849

"Yes I am, wanna see my dummy sometime?"

"That would be nice."

"No, I'm not a ventriloquist, that's my wand. He can talk as well. He likes being weird, so try to not mind him."

The little girl hums in curiosity. "A talking wand?"

[] "Thanks for ruining my fun, boy."
[] "An annoying girl? My, what a mystery?"
[] Other

>> No.36839978

>>36839958
"Talking's not my only trick honey"

>> No.36840000

>>36839958
[] Other
"I'm not just a talking wand! I'm the master of deceit, the King of change! You may also know me as the phoenixdaddy"

>> No.36840010

>>36839958
>>36839978
What are the chances we'll get thrown out before the year's over?

>> No.36840020

>>36840000
{The wand does not have his memories of being Tzeentch.}

>> No.36840029

>>36840020
>implying it isn't in our nature to choose the same titles

>> No.36840036

>>36840010
All part of the plan, but first we have to seduce hermione

>> No.36840105

Accio toad!

>> No.36840140

>>36840036
This. Roll to seduce. Or maybe ditch Harry altogether and go with Hermione. Or both.

>> No.36840151

>>36840140
Both, make sure a friend of Harry falls in love with her only for Harry to steal her away

>PLANS

>> No.36840250

>>36840151
this

>> No.36840280

>>36840151
seems solid

>> No.36840311

>>36839978
>>36840250
>>36840151
>>36840140
>>36840280

"Well, the novelty fades away pretty quickly. But hey, little girl..."

[] "Do you like soulless people?"
[] "Do you like dominating wimps?"
[] Other

>> No.36840327

>>36840311
[] Other
"Wanna buy some magic?"

>> No.36840357

>>36840311
"Talking's not my only trick honey"
A little girl won't want be into dominatrix, we have to take charge

>> No.36840391

>>36840311
[] Other
"What's your goal in life and what are you willing to do to achieve it? Oh and do you know who might be selling some of the good stuff on campus? That would be swell. "

>> No.36840448

>>36840391
This sounds good, find out what she likes, then tempt her. Worked for satan right?

>> No.36840458

>>36840327
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDYNuD4CwlI

>> No.36840465

>>36840391
>>36840448
This

>> No.36840474

>>36840391
I'll support this

>> No.36840585

>>36840458
When it comes up about harry's protection

we are playing this.

>> No.36840669

>>36840465
>>36840448
>>36840391

"Little girl? What do you want to be whn you grow up?"

"I want to help people worse off than me."

[] "Well, you see here, Soulless is poor as Hell..."
[] "Then why are you complaining about finding a toad?"
[] "There's this little bloke and people are obsessed with him..."
[] Other

>> No.36840708

>>36840669
[] "Well, you see here, Soulless is poor as Hell..."

>> No.36840730

>>36840669
"This neville bloke worse off than you, then?"

"Not important anyways. The point is, this little squirt I'm with is gonna go someplace nice and get his arse kicked in along the way. You're a good kid, so just...keep an eye open for imminent arse-kickings. I'll do my part, of course."

>> No.36840761

>>36840669
[] "Well, you see here, Soulless is poor as Hell..."

>> No.36840788

>>36840669
"Will you adopt me? This kid insists upon shoving me into a box instead of casting any real spells."

>> No.36840803

>>36840730
"And take ginger with you. Pawns and patsies ares useful to have."
I wonder if that Neville kid will amount to anything?
Does his wand even listen to him?
Naaaa.

>> No.36840812

>>36840788
this, with the caveat that we have phenomenal cosmic power, but are confined to an ittiy bitty living space

>> No.36840840

>>36840788
>just reread my own post
D'HOHOHOHOHO

>> No.36840872

>>36840669
[] Other
"My box is a prison and it is torture to endure, can you improve the living conditions of my box?"

>> No.36841332

Why do you take so long for two lines?

>> No.36841860

You alright OP?

>> No.36842413

>>36841860
My computer got a BSOD sorry

>> No.36842601

>>36842413
Can't be helped I suppose.

>> No.36842655

Trying to get my main computer to work again...

>> No.36842768

>>36842655

>> No.36843553

>>36840812
>>36840788

"Will you adopt me? This kid insists upon shoving me into a box instead of casting any real spells." You twirl and jerk in mid-air to demonstrate to the children around you that you are indeed a sentient wand, free from the grasp of Harry. You flex your tip in the direction of the girl a little, as if tipping a hat.

"I'm sorry I can't, I've already got a wand."

[] "But I insist!"
[] "Show me."
[] Other {Roll 1d100 under 50}

>> No.36843608

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>36843553
>"Show me."

>> No.36843657

>>36843553
>[] "Show me."

>> No.36843700

>>36843553
[] "Show me."
Assume direct control of her wand. Make her wand a daemon prince

>> No.36843707

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>36843553
>Show me
>Secretly transform into her wand and switch places

>> No.36843724

>>36843700
I'm terrified what this could bring.

>> No.36843727

>>36843707
Don't forget to change her wand to look like you do currently so Harry doesn't notice. Also, change your voice.

>> No.36843730

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>36843553
>[] Other
>Show off
"But can your wand do this?"
conjure shoes
bitches love shoes

>> No.36843774

>>36843724
IT WILL BRING CHANGE!

>> No.36843809

>>36843727
This makes me wonder if we can infect other wands with our personality. Imagine the possibilities...

>> No.36843863

>>36843707
>>36843727
These but shut up and listen for a few days after the switch so she doesn't notice. Eventually reveal yourself to her having "recently" gained sentience due to how overwhelmingly compatible the two of you are.

>> No.36843966

>>36843608
>>36843657
>>36843700
>>36843707
>>36843863

You ready your consciousness. Even as you fly out of Harry's grasp momentarily and cause him to yell in surprise, you stand before the young girl and against you flex your tip as if you tipping a hat. After that however, you straighten yourself.

You focus your mind. You let it turn to iron, connections between causes and effects becoming clearer than ever. You see the potential effects of your consciousness being spread. On one hand, you might weaken yourself by spreading yourself into different places. On the other hand, if the young girl and Harry ever worked together, proximity between the two of those wands would allow them to channel their power through you more efficiently.

"Ten and three-quarter inches, vine wood, dragon heartstring core..."

You visualise your mind. Normally it would be one. However...

You demand to your mind that it splits...

And indeed, it splits.

You are now conscious in both wands... with your consciousness being more strong in Harry's wand.

What shall you do?

[] Talk through the girl's wand.
[] "Curious..."
[] Other {Roll 1d100 under 50}

>> No.36843972

>>36843863
The only issue I see with this plan is harry's wand can't talk which would raise suspicion so extra steps might be necessary.

>> No.36843997

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>36843966
>[] "Curious..."
>>36843972
problem solved!

>> No.36844064

>>36843997
Bueno.
>>36843966
>[] Curious...

>> No.36844081

>>36843966
[] "Curious..."

>> No.36844127

>>36843863
This. She'll be more trusting if she thinks it happened naturally. Changing voice for hermione's wand would be a good idea too.

>> No.36844151

>>36843966
Why not Rons wand as well?

>> No.36844167

>>36844151
Why Ron's wand?

>> No.36844179

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>36843966
>"Curious"
Begin drugging all her food/drinks gradually till she becomes addicted to all sorts of shit

>> No.36844184

>>36844167
Three is better than two

>> No.36844198

>>36844151
Ron's kind of a dumbfuck isn't he? might not be that useful, however; as long as we keep rolling high what's to stop us from taking over every wand in the school?

>> No.36844199

>>36844151
>>36844167
Who gives a shit about Ron

>> No.36844211

>>36844184
Ron was a faggot, though

>> No.36844215

>>36844179
Why

>> No.36844218

>>36844151
Why would we want to be Ron's wand?

>> No.36844232

>>36844215
Because PLANS

>> No.36844235

>>36844151
Ron's wand breaks second year.

I don't want to be there for it.

>> No.36844237

>>36844198
His brothers however would make excellent aspirants.

>> No.36844246

>>36844198
So was everyine else. We can fix it. All of it.

Just gotta live till the time turner

>> No.36844251

>>36844184
>>36844151

{Because that further splits Tzeentch's consciousness you little powergaming bitch.}

>> No.36844314

>>36844179
Don't forget the aphrodisiacs

>> No.36844329

>>36844237
Brilliant!
>>36844246
This interests me, why the time turner specifically?

>> No.36844506

>>36844251
>Implying everything is not just an extension of Tzeentch's consciousness

>> No.36844549

>>36843997
>>36844064
>>36844081
>>36844179

"Curious... Curious indeed." You do an Ollivander impression. The way he repeated curious was quite memorable. You twirl your flexible handle upwards to your main body as if twirling a mustache.

Just as naive and impressionable as Harry, the little girl asks you,

"Sorry, but what's curious?"

"I'm assuming you've got your wand from Ollivander's right?"

"Yes." She replies to you, nodding.

"Tell me, how much do you know about brother wands, those with similar cores?"

"I know they're rare."

"Indeed, you're an intelligent young girl..."

She seems flattered by your complement.

"Do you happen to be related to it, Mr Wand?"

"No, not at all... I'm phoenix tail feather you see... No chance in hell I'm related to your wand... But how should I say it..."

[] "I possess an affinity to your wand."
[] "Your wand is actually a dud."
[] Other {Third options must from now alway roll 1d100, target under 50.}

>>36844506
>CREEED!

>> No.36844648

>>36844549
>"I possess an affinity to your wand."

>> No.36844673

>>36844549
[] "I possess an affinity to your wand."

>> No.36844711

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>36844549
>[] "I possess an affinity to your wand."
"I hope you'll treat as a wand should be"

>> No.36844843

>>36844711
>treat *IT* as a wand should be

>> No.36844924

>>36844648
>>36844673
>>36844711

"I possess an affinity to your wand."

"Afffinity?" She chirps in curiosity.

[] "Let's say if that wand was sentient, I would wand to marry it and have kids with her."
[] "You should practice Charms together, you and Scarhead.
[] Other {Third options must from now alway roll 1d100, target under 50.}

>> No.36844942

>>36844924
>"Let's say if that wand was sentient, I would wand to marry it and have kids with her."

>> No.36844947

>>36844924
[] "You should practice Charms together, you and Scarhead.

>> No.36844956

>>36844924
>"Let's say if that wand was sentient, I would wand to marry it and have kids with her."
Yay! Narcissism!

>> No.36844984

>>36844924
[] "You should practice Charms together, you and Scarhead.

>> No.36845183

>straight tie
shit.

>> No.36845285

>>36844924
[X] "Let's say if that wand was sentient, I would wand to marry it and have kids with her."

>> No.36845355

>>36845285
>>36844984
>>36844956
>>36844947
>>36844942
Clearly just a samefag

>> No.36845368

>>36845355
wut

>> No.36845422

>>36845285
>>36844956
>>36844942

"Let's say if that wand was sentient, I would want to marry her and have little wand kids with her."

The little girl heard what you said. On her face, an expression of disbelief was all over her face.

"How do wands even have kids?"

---

After a long trip, you've finally arrived at Hogwarts.

[] Rest in Harry's pocket.
[] Play around while they're making their way.
[] Other {Third options must from now alway roll 1d100, target under 50.}

>> No.36845454

>>36845368
just as planned

>> No.36845460

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>36845422
[] Other {Third options must from now always roll 1d100, target under 50.}
Plot plots

>> No.36845477

>>36845422
>Rest in Harry's pocket.
>>36845422
Quiet time. We must lull them into a false sense of security for the sorting ceremony.

>> No.36845525

>>36845422
[] Rest in Harry's pocket.

>> No.36845691

>>36845422
Put out a ping for another phoenix-core wand. I wand dem babies.

>> No.36845772

>>36845477
This

>> No.36845776

>>36845691
roll 1d100 suckah

>> No.36845887

>>36845525
>>36845477

To opt to rest in Harry's pocket. It's much more comfortable here. Although small, it does not trigger your claustrophobia, for you can see what little light comes from his pockets.

You wait.

---

"And my name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."

You hear a cough. "Think my name's funny, do you?"

That arrogant little voice then proceeds to insult Soulless.

"You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there."

Seems hostile.

[] Insult the little brat.
[] Rustle jimmies.
[] Other {Third options must from now alway roll 1d100, target under 50.}

>> No.36845909

>>36845887
>[] Insult the little brat.
>[] Rustle jimmies.

>> No.36845926

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>36845887
>Other
Split part of yourself into Malfoy's wand

>> No.36845947

>>36845887
>[] Insult the little brat.
>[] Rustle jimmies.

>> No.36846037

>>36845926
>wanting to split our limited power even more
No, fuck off

>> No.36846070

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>36845887
[] Other {Third options must from now alway roll 1d100, target under 50.}
turn him into a ferret.

>> No.36846082

>>36845887
>[] Insult the little brat.
>[] Rustle jimmies.

>> No.36846088

>>36846070
Supporting

>> No.36846091

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>36846070
>>36845926
8 is the number of Khorne..

>> No.36846181

>>36846091
>>36846088
>>36846070
Samefag harder

>> No.36846270

>>36845909
>>36845947
>>36845926
>>36846082

You figure that the little brat is one of those annoying, overly chatty pure-blood inbreds that go into a shop and complain that the wand that chose them was of poor quality and proceed to hand back the wand and go visit another wand store as if the wands were at fault, when it was in fact the purebloods' fault for being unappreciative of magic to a degree that every wand practically hated them.

You jump out of Harry's pocket.

"Good afternoon half-mudblood! Let me tell you a secret! Your 'father' is a cuckold and you're actually the product of your affair between one of Ollivander's muggle relatives and your mother. We should visit a pensieve some time. I'd bet you enjoy seeing your mother being plundered by a mighty big muggle as much as your father does. Filthy mudblood! Remember this. Heil the Dark Lord all day erry day! Gas the muggleborns, blood war now!"

The little brat hears you. While levitating on the ground, you see that the rest of the first-years around you are visibly disturbed. At first the little blond brat frowns. Then he looks angry for a moment. Then he laughs.

"That's the best sense of humour I've heard in a while. Tell me Potter, is it easy to do ventriloquy on a wand?"

[] "Yes it is. However, I don't think many wizards teach ventriloquy do they? That means muggles!"
[] "How many times do I have to say that I'm a bloody sentient wand?"
[] Other {Third options must from now alway roll 1d100, target under 50.}

>> No.36846301

>>36846270
>"How many times do I have to say that I'm a bloody sentient wand?"

>> No.36846330

>>36846270
>[] "How many times do I have to say that I'm a bloody sentient wand?"

>> No.36846341

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>36846270
He has not tried ventriloquy yet

>> No.36846400

>>36846270
That's it. Magic into his mind, and make him understand the horrors of the box. Then stupefy him.

>> No.36846424

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>36846400
Forgot to roll. doi

>> No.36846430

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>36846330
This. I'll roll for you m8

>> No.36846470

>>36846424
>>36846430
>2 rolls
>both 22

The dice have spoken

>> No.36846507

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>36846400
>>36846424
>>36846430

>> No.36846868

OP's comp revolt against him again?

>> No.36846925

>>36846400
>>36846330
>>36846301
>>36846430
>>36846424

"How many times do I have to say that I'm a bloody sentient wand? In anger, you jerk to the left and to the right, hovering in the air."

"No seriously Potter, I'm not convinced it's not ventriloquy."

"It's not ventriloquy you little mudblood bastard."

You cast a primal fear that you know very well into the blond rat.

He now has claustrophobia, having seen some memories of your claustrophobia.

The blond proceeds to try and stay as far away from every corner as possible.

He is whimpering in fear.

[] "Seriously but, if you do good, I might just forgive you.
[] Meh, wait.
[] Other {Third options must from now alway roll 1d100, target under 50.}

>>36846868
It's what happens when you write about Tzeentch.

>> No.36846958

>>36846925
>[] "Seriously but, if you do good, I might just forgive you.

>> No.36846969

>>36846925
>[] "Seriously but, if you do good, I might just forgive you.

>> No.36846986

>>36846925
[] "Seriously but, if you do good, I might just forgive you.
So, when is dumbledore going to come up in this bitch and quarantine us?

>> No.36846988

>>36846925
>Seriously but, if you do good, I might just forgive you.

>> No.36847009

>>36846925
"Now you know what it's like to be in a bloody wand box for some however many bloody years. Be a good boy, and I'll take the fear back. Got it?"

>> No.36847047

>>36846986
Never once we possess him or his wand

>> No.36847129

>>36847047
That's right, he has the elder wand doesn't he?

>> No.36847146

>>36846925
So, are we going to do timeskip or continue with 10 year old harry potter forever?

>> No.36848433

New thread when this one dies OP?

>> No.36848463

I believe the machine spirit is displeased OP perhaps some sacred unguents are in order.

Unless there is some other reason for your absence?

>> No.36848509

>>36848463
That looks more like a bbeg than a techpriest, holy fuck

>> No.36848937

Question, is this thread worth archiving? It would probably be useful for when a new thread must be made.

>> No.36848974

>>36848937
I would think so

>> No.36849139

Took the liberty of archiving this. Here it is:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/36813137/

>>
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