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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.34671415 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>You are the BBEG
>Heroes have finally made it to your inner sactum
>Post a pic and your final quote

"If you've made it this far, then I suppose I've already lost. Even if I were to kill you, which is an unlikely outcome, you've destroyed all my plans, laid waste to my empire, stolen all of my assets, and by all accounts made a mockery of my once fearful reputation. There's really nothing left I can do, is there?
But I think I owe you a grand finale, after everything we've been through together. I hope I do not disappoint."

>> No.34671431

"Hello, Jerry."

>> No.34671437


>> No.34671444

quote in pic

>> No.34671451

Just as planned

>> No.34671460

You disgusting slaves sicken me! I will not allow you to desecrate the sanctum of The Spider Queen with your presence! Prepare to feel pain that would make creatures of the abyss howl in terror!

>> No.34671471

>Dog ate my dm notes, just roll with it

"Bark bark, roll initiative but beware, your water magic has no effect on me!"

>> No.34671475

Reminder Lolth has a giant spider mecha.

>> No.34671482

Fools. You should've stopped when you had the chance.

Now your money and your property deeds will be mine!

>> No.34671485

Ah, welcome. You must be famished after slaughtering my guards, no?
You know, they were all family men,but do not worry, I had this shift handpicked for today. Their families will do without the worst drunkards and cholerics of my staff. They will be in good care, no worries.
But sit down, my good friends. Your cause is long lost. I just received word of the king's death. That makes your contract void, doesn't it?
I hope the tea is to your liking, I could offer you a number of alternatives if you prefer.
Ah, these crumpets are extraordinary. You have to try them with the jam.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Your employer is dead, your quest is a failure. Even though you very effectively killed my employees. You killed so many I would have to start arming my accountants in two more days.
But for you this is it. No big fight. No loot. And how would I? I mean, look at me! I am no fighter.
Seing as you are now without employ, what do you say, gentlemen?
You produced a number of vacancies in my staff and starting tomorrow, I will have a kingdom to take over. And hope I am not half as bad a ruler as my brother.
Take your time. This all must be terribly much for you to swallow. I assure you, the failure of your mission is not your fault, though. You really gave me quite the headache at times.
So. To new beginnings.

>> No.34671488

>get attacked in the middle of the first sentence by impatient players
Dramatic speeches •never• work in games. Hell, dramatic speeches in general don't work, they just make you look like a knob.

>> No.34671513

Dude's dead well before he has the chance to say all this shit.

>> No.34671518

"Heh... heh... sorry, um, I... heh-heh-heh.."

"Do you want in on the joke, noble heroes? You're the joke. But that's not why I'm laughing. I'm laughing because you've not been holding back..."

"... and I have."

>> No.34671541

What I personally would say if I was a big bad dude or what the person in my chosen picture would say if they were?

This makes all the difference.

>> No.34671565

Case in point: >>34671485
Smug and pretentious, clearly trying to compensate for something.

>> No.34671586

Looks like this is it lads! I'll see you all on the other side!

>> No.34671588

I think this works better if one anon posts a picture and then the next one writes the quote, and so on.

>> No.34671604


"Hello there, care for a cookie? How can I help you gentlemen today?"

>> No.34671618


>> No.34671626


10/10 would worship again.

>> No.34671641


...I was NOT expecting to see some Tagame today, but oh well. At least the dude's not getting castrated or something.

>> No.34671645

I always prefer incandescent rage.


>Goddamn it you fucking pussy, you dickless son of a bitch.
>Why don't you go suck a tramp, you meaty knob jockey.
>I hope your mother kills you with a rock.

>> No.34671657

>"Alright. It's over. I'm done with this. The calm and stoic persona is gone, shattered in it's entirety, much like my plan. No, as of right now, I am PISSED. You ruined everything! I was SO CLOSE, and now it's all gone to hell, and all because of you! Why!? I was making things BETTER. I was HELPING. Those people DESERVED to die, the world is glad to have them gone! So tell me why! Why are you here, having foiled everything I put into place, every backup measure, every redundancy plan, every stepping stone I laid down in my vision of a better future? Gone is every single general, all personally trained by yours truly, friendships forged through years of hardship and labour towards a greater good which you have turned to dust before my very eyes! DUST! The world I worked so hard to create, for so many years, is burning, and I can do nothing about it!

>Anger doesn't even begin to describe what I feel for you at this very moment! And yet, here you are! Standing before me as though my very existence is a cruel joke, and you are the punchline that we have all been waiting for! Mocking me! It's disgusting! Loathsome! Sickening, vile, rotten, hideous, revolting..!

Coughing fit, followed by a failed attempt to regain composure

>...What little catharsis I will extract from turning you into a stain upon the terrible canvas of this reality is little succour amidst the sorrow and hate that smothers me like a blanket, but if it's all the same to you, I think I am going to take this last indulgence! A fitting end to a life rendered worthless, utterly without merit, by your hands!

>So come forth, and be annihilated by the raging inferno of vanquished hope and broken dreams that I am become!"

>> No.34671659

"Do you feel like a hero yet?"

>> No.34671670

These niggas have never played real games.

>> No.34671688

I loved this country you know. I’ve always loved it, More than myself really. I’ve sacrificed everything for the people of this great nation, I took no wife, fathered no children, held no lands or titles. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for the betterment and future of this country. The people you’ve killed? Best damn soldiers I’ve ever known, they died doing what they believed in as both warriors and as men. The tides of change are coming no matter what you do, how much longer can you serve a king with no rightful throne? You can kill me, all of my soldiers and their families, but you cannot kill an idea.

All I wanted is for people to be able to rest in their beds at night, not in the fear they will be taken by the “royal guard”, all I wanted is for the cycle of hypocrisy that is feudalism and fiefdoms to fall, sure it’s wonderful for the men and woman who stand upon the backs of the commonfolk, but what of them? The men and woman you pass by every day, getting by only on selling everything they own and being slaves in all but name for their “safety”. They die in the thousands horribly so that a few elite can sit comfortably because it is their “birthright”, I spit upon them, your mad king, and you for helping them continue the cycle of misery that is this state of affairs.

I stand before you the general of a fallen army, the king of a dead empire, the prophet of a ruined ideology. Join me or damn me, the choice is yours, but I hope that in your decision you can remain with a clean conscious as I am.

>> No.34671693

>My idea of a superb Sunday night is watching a mailman break your mouth.

>> No.34671698

>I am so sick of your shit, you repulsive motherfucking spermatorium.

Enhanced Smite Good

>> No.34671705

>Classes struggle, some classes triumph, others are eliminated. Such is history; such is the history of civilization for thousands of years.

>Come at me bro.

>> No.34671712

"I'm pleasantly surprised you have made it this far. But all of you have to know that I still have a duty. Unluckily for you, I still have something worth killing for."

>> No.34671724

"I just wanted to be left alone."

>> No.34671740

"The rape train has no brakes, and I'm the driver and the engineer"

>> No.34671742

I prefer the short and sweet monologues.

>> No.34671751

"Every blitzer knows: when you got the ball, you gotta score!"

>> No.34671752

"You've done good, all of you. Your parents would be proud. Now let's have an end to this, heroes."

>> No.34671753

"Five hundred gold to the man that kills the mage!"

>> No.34671754


>> No.34671763

I should have hired better goons.

>> No.34671764

"I've seen you make way through the Machine called society that I've built.
It is time you take your place as cogs."

>> No.34671767

"Fuck off, I have a family to feed!"

>> No.34671769

>You would think to confront a god of war in his own domain?!
>There's something I can appreciate in that bloody-mindedness!

>> No.34671781

> So, that's it then? Just you and me? After all this, just a bunch of assholes standing around beating the shit out of each other?
> Well alright.

>> No.34671783

"Sic semper tyrannis, hero."

>> No.34671792


>mfw part of the adventure I'm running takes my players to dino island

>> No.34671794

"Just... Just do it. I'm so tired now, so very, very tired."

>> No.34671800

"You hurt my friends. You shouldn't have done that."

>> No.34671802


>> No.34671803


Never knew that John Wilkes Booth had a stand.

>> No.34671811


More like:


"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus"

>> No.34671814

"Are you from the outside?"

>> No.34671816

"Ah Good, you made it.
Now begins Phase 2."

>> No.34671820

[Rattle Rattle]

>> No.34671827

"FEH! I'll prove that I'm the ultimate swordsman!"

>> No.34671832

"It'll take more than that."

>> No.34671839


I want you to be my GM.

>> No.34671840

*Giant Leech sound*

>> No.34671846

psssh.... nothin personnel kid

>> No.34671847

>Your mind is software. Program it.
>Your body is a shell. Change it.
>Death is a disease. Cure it.
>Extinction is approaching. Fight it.

>I am the agent
>I am corruption
>I am the angel
>Of your destruction

>I am the ghost in the machine

>Now I am become Death
>The destroyer of worlds

>> No.34671854

"A game of chess is just like a swordfight. You must think first, before you move."

>spikes come out of the walls
>buzzsaws come out of the floors
>axe pendulums swing down from the ceiling

>reach the BBEG
"Fine, I'll let you try my wu-tang style"
>[trapping intensifies]
>[kung-fu intensifies]

>> No.34671863


Eclipse Phase?

>> No.34671866

"Stupid fool, you're forcing me to kill you!"

>> No.34671870

"Eh? What are you all doing in my woods? Get off of my damn lawn you trespassing hooligans!"

>> No.34671871 [DELETED] 

>not "You are alive and uncut! Fine, I'll let you try my yu-tang style"

>> No.34671873

“I need about treefiddy.”

>> No.34671890 [DELETED] 

I don't have time for this fucking horseshit you worthless code munching cunts.


>> No.34671897


>> No.34671903 [DELETED] 

Oy Vey the goyim know! You'll never take my shekels!

>> No.34671904

"I suppose you want to know why I did what I did. It all started five decades ago during the reign of kin- hey! Stop trying to cast at me! As I was saying...damn, I lost my page. I hope you guys are happy. My story was going to be awesome and now you are going to have to die without having ever heard it. As you lay there dying you will be all 'Damn, I wish I had something cool to think about right now...' and then you will remember my st- HEY, I SAID STOP THAT! You know what? FINE! Let's do it your way then you philistines!"

>> No.34671911

"We only have one answer:
We don't care."

>> No.34671915

I don't have time for this horse shit you worthless chode munching cunts.


>> No.34671927

This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!

>> No.34671931

"Really not a good time for this. Do you think you could come back later?"

>> No.34671939

"And goddammit Robin, quit making the others laugh!"

>> No.34671951

Oh ho! Mighty adventurers! Prepare yourselves for my Muscle Magic [/poiler] !

>> No.34671968

Peace out, turd muffins.

>> No.34671978

Beware, I live!

>> No.34671996

[incomprehensible screeching]

>> No.34672002

We cab add volcanoes to the list of things that can kill an adventuring party.

>> No.34672016

Come, make this quick. I have business to attend to.

>> No.34672043

So now you shoot at me, and I shoot him, and he sprays his gun all in the air when he dies, like 'bangbangbangdakakakakaka', then Dave pops out with a shotgun, like 'bam' but you shoot him in the chest and then I-

No, let's start again. I pull out two handguns and...

>> No.34672046


>> No.34672081

press the self destruct button and jump into the escape vessel
hope the explosion kills them

>> No.34672084

I'd ride her rape train without any brakes, if you know what I mean.

>> No.34672093

>Heroes break into my lair
>10 year old granddaughter sitting in my lap
>Hero, explain to susie why her granpa has to die
>While he tries to explain, susie shoots him

>> No.34672094

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. None have ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master: His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.

>> No.34672104

"Even if I only live for another five minutes, I still got to be a kickass loli. Brign it, bitches."

>> No.34672105

>Explaining to the kid
>Not just attacking
Nigga it's like you don't understand what has to be done has to be done.

>> No.34672119

"No, no, no... I can't die like this... Not when I'm so close... And not at the hands of a filthy bandit! I could have saved this planet! I could have actually restored order! And I wasn't supposed to die by the hands... of a CHILD KILLING PSYCHOPATH!! You're a savage! You're a maniac, you are a bandit, AND I AM THE GODDAMN HERO!!" "

>> No.34672121

Terrifying yet adorable, all at once, not sure what to do

>> No.34672128


Adventurers are horrible merciless monsters.

>> No.34672134

it was from the evil overlord list

>> No.34672145

so true
heck, most likely after killing me they would make little susie into a slave
see >>34655595

>> No.34672147

Whole fucking lot of NOPE in that image.

>> No.34672151

'Silly old bear'

>> No.34672155

It's time for you to make like a banana and shed your skin.

>> No.34672162

Something too beautiful to be believed...

>> No.34672163

I actually beat this guy. It took 128 tries, but I did it.

>> No.34672164

[Revving intensifies]

>> No.34672169

>Not just aiming your attack in a way that will hit both of them in one go.

Like I will fall for such an obvious trap.

>> No.34672171

10/10 juxtaposition of profound and contemporary culture, would laugh again

>> No.34672173



>> No.34672215

(Translator's Note: "Keikaku means plan.")

>> No.34672231

Yeah and it's seriously not gonna work with anyone who actually has their mind set straight. Our GM tried it with our GM in a shadowrun game and we are generally big fucking pussies when it comes to "oh no we did something horrible" things. we just outright shot both of them with all we had. Now you may cry "but so evul! You da heroes!". First: Guy was the archjew masterlizard of the ultimate circle in the blood and death cult practically dooming the world so that he may live forever, he was basically going to become a lich and just as I told him that our GM was dumbfounded that I would shoot one of the most evil motherfuckers we happened on just because him sitting next to a fire reading to his kids were somehow gonna let him move to his second phase (Asked him about it too, he was supposed to escape with the kid tricking us) and get our GM a power stiffy. Second: The girl is one girl, as nice as it would be to have her have a good life she is not worth dooming the world over.

Oh and our GM had to get a new BBEG, put the game on hiatus for two months.

>> No.34672250

>the BBEG just flies away on his jetpack
>the day is saved but the heros cannot but feel strangely unfulfilled
>all according to the keikaku

>> No.34672291

"Look at these faggots!"

"Roll for initiative, bitches!"

>> No.34672294

>chant heard on entry
'Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem'
>choir stamps feet in unison

>> No.34672302

"Yes, I know you. We have met before, but I think today we will meet for the last time!

Still fighting after all these years, I remember your friend. I savour his memory. Do you remember him?

People like you, all you peddle is death and destruction! I would you ask you to consider, in the end we will not be judged by what we have destroyed, but what we have created!

Can you grasp the splendour of it? The intelligence of the liches brain, amalgamated with the efficiency and obedience of the machine!"

>> No.34672310

>the BBEG just flies away on his jetpack with the princess/mcguffin/hostage/sexslave/???

>> No.34672322

Blah blah who gives a fuck, roll for initiative!

>> No.34672323

That fucking statue.

Is the best statue ever.

And anyone who disagrees is a faggot.

I'm not even a christian.

>> No.34672347

[incomprehensible screaming]

>> No.34672359

You may win this battle, but I have won the war. Because, at this moment, I am euphoric.

>> No.34672364

Go ahead, roll.

>> No.34672378

Ha Ha Ha!
Come to put some rain on my parade have you? Well I gotta say, you're not the brightest bulbs, how many people did I have to kill for you to get here? Seriously, can you tell me? I lost count! Ha Ha Ha Ha!

But really, I'm not armed as tooth and nail as you all are, you've got your guns, and knives, and swords, and little old me, all I've got up my sleeve is... a Trigger! and would you look at that, my thumbs already on it! you know if I took my finger off this puppy it'd set off quite a light show! The locals might think we're celebrating our independence early!

So my little goody goodies, you wanna take me out and stop all this from happening again, or do you want to rescue all the innocents before they go out with a bang? The funniest part is, I win either way! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

>> No.34672396

*Troll for initiative.

>> No.34672405

Roll for damage

>> No.34672417

You may have heard that katanas are the best swords out there. They have been folded over three thousand times and can cut through solid plate armor. But do you know what's better than one katana?

*draws weapons*

Two katanas, bitch. Get ready to meet your god, if you are foolish enough to believe in its existence.

>> No.34672427


It's a pretty great statue.

>> No.34672431

I take 1d8 boners worth of damage

>> No.34672438

"You fight like a dairy farmer!"

>> No.34672445

And now it's suppertime!

>> No.34672457

"I'm selling these fine leather jackets."

>> No.34672485

You know, I don't want to destroy the world. I don't really want to rule without question. I have no desire to lord over a bunch of submissive peasants that don't dare to challenge me. Make no mistake. I will defeat you. I will crush humanity's hope, but I will not destroy it. A hundred years from now there will be a new set of heroes standing in your place, thinking that they actually have a chance at beating me, and they will meet the same fate. I'm going to keep doing this forever.

>> No.34672488

"Ashonai. Ebiris. Urshoring. Kvanti. Pythan. N'gurad. Feringomalee..."

>> No.34672504

"Yes, I worship the evil god of boners. It's who I am. It's what I do. And I see 4-6 virgin asses to offer up to Him"

>> No.34672510

"Rejoice, your wish will finally come true."

>> No.34672511

You know nothing. Lucifer is gone, and God has abandoned us to deal with the petty desires of my younger brother's twisted mind. But I am not so short sighted. I am Michael, Archangel of War, second eldest son of God and soon, the Seneschal of the Granite Throne. I shall destroy this world and purify the filth that is clouding the light of God.

>Ok team, you just challenged the third most powerful being in the universe to a fight. Roll for initiatives!

>> No.34672537

It kinda sets the bar for end bosses, doesn't it?

>> No.34672541

"Let's play up!"

>> No.34672545

"It's been some journey, hasn't it? For all of us, I mean. We've chased each other across dimensions, universes, planes, and history itself; with every step, you'd shatter one of my schemes, and with every fallen scheme, I'd throw a new one your way. Sieges upon the ramparts of great castles, rituals in the most secret places of the world, building and destroying lives and civilizations in our wake; your little group has provided me with the greatest adventure of my Undeath. I thank you, heroes, sincerely. Now, though, it's time I put my drink aside, and we see this story to its proper end."

>> No.34672559

Who are you? Why do you bring such pain upon my people?

>> No.34672573

>Please, die, bro, you are just unpleasant.
Best fucking insult ever.

>> No.34672594


>I love you, you cute sexy person.

This is not an insult, insult generator. What the fuck.

>> No.34672602


I've been fighting you for so long, I think I've become more familiar with you than most of my own men. We've brought out the best in eachother, you and I... we've made eachother more powerful than we ever thought we'd be. But I've made you stronger than you've made me... I see that now. I've done everything I could to stop you, I've lost more men to six travelers than I have to entire armies... and here I stand, my remaining forces beside me, staring down your swords.

I don't expect to win this fight. You'll kill me, kill all of us. And we've accepted that. Before we fight... if I could make one last request, old friends?

Give us a good fight. Give all of us an honorable death, and let us see our comerades once more.

>> No.34672603

"Do you know the thing about rats? For every one you see, there's another 10 that you don't."

>> No.34672612

>> No.34672616

If only the Nords actually had any goddamn honor, instead of being filthy fucking sea raiders who lost their sea legs.

>> No.34672641

It supposedly depicts Jesus rising from a nuclear crater.

Though I'm not sure that's how the story went...

>> No.34672652

Even if you win today, know this.

Your princess is in another castle. Your quest will never end. Give up while you still can.

>> No.34672657


In their defense, the Nords are as honorable as any other kingdom in Calradia. Besides, historically, Vikings were pretty much just bullies who knew how to pick the target with the least risk and most reward and get the fuck out of there before any actual resistance could be gathered.

>> No.34672658


This. I like BBEGs that respond to the players with an understanding that they might lose, and a respect (if not endearment) that comes from that understanding. It's all I've ever DMed, and it never gets old.

>> No.34672686

Under normal circumstances, I would applaud you. No-one else could make it as far, no-one else could do what you have done.
Yes, normally I would applaud you...

But that old man you just killed... the one that couldn't even fight back? That was one of my closest friends, the only who who has always stuck by me.

I had thought, at first, that you were heroes... that you were going to set things right... that you would be the ones to save the world.

But now I see that you were never in it to save the world... you were always in it for the joy of slaughter. So I'm going to try again, attempt to find new heroes, attempt to create something good for once, instead of evil.

But first, I need to make sure my past mistakes can't interfere.



>> No.34672718


>in game
>subBBEG wants to do speech
>other players just want to rush him
>probably the wise choice but im always a sucker for drama and want to hear him say something slick

>> No.34672729

I have seen your deeds and judged you. This is my sentence

>> No.34672730

I've been fighting you for so long, I think I've become more familiar with you than most of my own men. We've brought out the best in eachother, you and I... we've made eachother more powerful than we ever thought we'd be. But I've made you stronger than you've made me... I see that now. I've done everything I could to stop you, I've lost more men to six travelers than I have to entire armies... and here I stand, my remaining forces beside me, staring down your swords.

I don't expect to win this fight. You'll kill me, kill all of us. And we've accepted that. Before we fight... if I could make one last request, old friends?


>> No.34672736

A man once told me that if you plan vengeance, dig two graves.

I'm done digging. Now it's time for you to die.

>> No.34672751


>> No.34672764

Good point.
The Sarranids are filthy fucking jihadists, the Khergit are horse-fucking mongols, the Rhodoks are le happy merchant crossed with renaissance Italy, the Swadians are all the decadence, corruption and sisterfucking of France and Britain all rolled into one, and the Vaegir...

I actually can't think of anything bad about the Vaegir.

>> No.34672770

When you activate the weapon, this room becomes magically sealed. The walls are five feet of solid Adamantium. Nobody gets in or out. Nobody is going to leave here alive.

>> No.34672777


Well, Jack...

*puts on sunglasses*

I guess this just ain't no place for no hero.

>> No.34672782



>> No.34672786


Even more badass than I thought!


>> No.34672818


They're Slavs. That's all you need to know.

Besides, I was referring mainly to how they go about warfare: raid/burn villages when they're not around, only attacking armies half your size, etc... just watch the map. Little army A gets chased by Big army B into a lot more little army A's, big army B reverses direction, big army A chases little army B into little army B's reinforcements, big army A reverses direction...

>> No.34672824


>> No.34672834 [SPOILER] 

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

>> No.34672862

Pic related.

And yeah, there isn't a single goddamn noble that has any sort of bravery.

>> No.34672870

"You can kill me/our body, but you cannot kill us. We have become so much more than human. And we can wait until you've grown old and weak. And we'll start this entire circus all over again."

>> No.34672906

We have Will Smith

>> No.34672920

I apologize for nothing

>> No.34672921


>massive battle between Nords and Vaegirs on snow-covered field
>armies face off
>archers exchange fire as the infantry columns advance
>they halt, Nords form shield wall as Vaegir cavalry charges
>charge fails as horsemen are torn apart by a hailstorm of throwing axes and javelins
>Huscarl shield wall advances
>vaegir spearmen all begin Slavic War Dance
>Nords become too confused, some are hypnotized, some keep advancing, some retreat in terror, and others double over laughing
>Vaegir archers pepper front ranks of shield wall
>Vaegir infantry charges the broken ranks of Norse shieldwall

>yfw Vaegirs actually win a battle

>> No.34672933

"I'm the DMPC. Now you pay for the last 6 months of being that guys."

>> No.34672937

>and the Vaegir...
>I actually can't think of anything bad about the Vaegir.

Well, originally the Vaegirs would have orcs, goblins, undead and necromancers among their forces. They're the "chaotic evil" faction.

You can still find a trace of it in the game, there's a skeleton sitting at the dinner table in one of the Vaegir castles.

>> No.34672939

>mfw I'm planning a Dark Heresy oneshot with shrek as the villian

>> No.34672945

>Vaegir spearmen
>Not shieldless axemen

What sorcery is this

>> No.34672957

Please tell me this is true and not some kind of ruse.

>> No.34672963


I forgot they use Bardiches and not voulges.

>> No.34672965

Vaegir guard best fucking unit. 10/10 did have a dozen as my personal bodyguard when I became Empress to emulate the Varangian Guard.

>> No.34672981

Druids. Not even once.

>> No.34672991

I guess there's little need for words.

>> No.34673006

it's true they have skelly

>> No.34673009

>Fire away, cowards!

>> No.34673010

Mind you, this was really early in development.

Back when M&B was going to have a big quest-based storyline.

>> No.34673014

Not like it matters, they're essentially the same goddamn thing.

War pick master race.

>> No.34673017

"Chyuk chyuk chyuk, looks like em' deeds to ta' town ar' safely in mer pocket! Boys! Show deas er' adventururers ta' door!"

>> No.34673032

>I'd rather masturbate with a cutlass to expleosive diarrhea porn than spend one more second with you.
I dunno man, I think this one might be a winner.

>> No.34673052

>Nobody gives a fuck about your hopes and dreams.

Sometimes the classics are the best.

>> No.34673058


>You have autism. But there's good news you're going to die.

>> No.34673063

Hey, I own that sword! It's supposed to be Excalibur, and also a wall mount.

>> No.34673077

That's why you let an illusion do the speech.

"In case you have listened to my entire speech, congratulations. What you see is just an illusion, and the real me is miles away, loading up a alchemical-magical mortar aimed at my thr-" *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

>> No.34673079

>PC returns to patron to let him know all his final affairs have been taken care of
>pic related happens

>> No.34673106

>Not Huscarl's shield with 1h axe, great long axe, and large bag of balanced throwing axes
>not making your banner the one with three axes on it
>not becoming the Axeman
>not AXing people questions
>not telling people they have an AXne breakout on their face
>Not calling people AXholes right before hurling a barrage of throwing axes at them.

>not becoming Nord Warchief and raping and pillaging your way across Calradia, and ruling it with your superior aryan blood
>not having an all Huscarl army
>not laughing as Swadians slap against your shield walls and get raped at javelinpoint

You're playing it wrong.

>> No.34673134

"You want to fight? Very well, but we fight like men."

"No swords, no spells. Fox only. Final Destination."

>> No.34673141

You stand before me seeking what, challenge or fame. Whatever meaningless dream your feeble minds have constructed for you this time. So many like you have stood before me that I have began to find it difficult to differentiate.

But inside you are all the same. You never learnt how to truly dream. You never dreamt big dreams, or never indulged yourself in them. This is what your wildest dreams boil down to: Fighting me, a old man making his home in the sewers.

Old man who shall dream the dream that will be the end of yours.

>> No.34673149

I like two-handed axes, that's about it. Normally my thing is a nice, stout bow, a war pick/mace/hand axe, and some kind of shield with plenty of coverage and decent speed like a round shield.

>> No.34673156


>> No.34673161

>Suck cocksmilk from my cornhole you foul son of a bitch.

>> No.34673183

If there was any time for you to get out of here Stalker, it would be now.

>> No.34673195


>> No.34673218

>I will fist your messy cleft palate. I will fist your messy cleft palate.
It's like he's assuring himself. He WILL fist your messy cleft palate, man.

>> No.34673221

Pic related

>> No.34673233

>Remember that time when all of your friends went out drinking? No? That's because you have no friends.

>> No.34673237

>having an all huscarl army

Hahahaha, pleb.

Huscarls for anti-infantry mop-up.
Rhodok Sergeants for anti-cavalry mop-up.
Rhodok Sharpshooters for general crossboltery and counter-archer fire.
Swordsisters for cavalry.

Nothing can stop you now.

>> No.34673258

I think this could work right? Maybe if the heroes are rebels of some kind?

>> No.34673265

You've made it so far, but at least one of us won't be leaving this place alive

>> No.34673266

>tfw no snork husbando to go for long walks in the Zone with
>tfw you will never get to gently wash his sores and clean his wounds
>tfw you will never stuff him full of anti-rads and vodka
>tfw you will never see him slowly improve through proper nutrition and his injuries heal
>tfw you will never see what's under that gas mask

Life is suffering.

>> No.34673273

"No! This can't be happening! I'm in charge here!"

>> No.34673284

He and Graham were the best things in that entire game.

>> No.34673321


>> No.34673327

why would you use a trusted acolyte for that? Surely they're useful as more than just disposable flesh-suits. Why not just get some random guy?

"Hello, pizza delivery - wow, you don't look so good."

"I'm fine. And I must say, you did an excellent job getting my pizza here on time. Congratulations." *offers hand*

"Uh, okay..."

*uncomfortably long handshake"

"Hey, wait a minute - hnggg"

Of course, if it were me I'd switch into a woman. But that's just me... right?

>> No.34673333

Do you have the "big fat slavic cock" version?

>> No.34673345

I agree... And now I want to play fallout again

>> No.34673368

hahahaha I laughed way to much at that

>> No.34673415

Its time to chew ass

>> No.34673416

Pic related
I wish

>> No.34673427


>> No.34673459

"What ho, fuckers? I'm Admiral Phlogiskull, and you all are about to eat my skeletal schlong!"

>> No.34673466

[Gunfire and Cursing]

>> No.34673467

"Caw Caw motherfucker, Caw Caw."

>> No.34673511


I'd GM all of these fuckers. The rest of you up there are waxing way too poetic.

>> No.34673526

What'll you be having, everyone? You've been travelling for a long time. You should relax, now that you're back where you all started.

>> No.34673577

A dinosaur ate our party a few weeks ago.

>> No.34673592

"Targets sighted. Beginning virtuous mission"

>> No.34673613

>Doesn't fuck about and get's straight to shooting

Was probably a PC once

>> No.34673614

It will be a cold day in Hell when you defeat me.

>> No.34673615

Do you feel in charge?

>> No.34673628

How else would he kill president Lincoln?

>> No.34673652


>> No.34673658

That's so fucking intricate I cannot believe it holy shit this makes me want to be a bartender.

>> No.34673661

>not "Time to turn up the fire"

>> No.34673669

.... fuck

>> No.34673677

Mixology fucking rocks.

>> No.34673684


>> No.34673690

Why I did it all? I just found it humerus!

>> No.34673697

What the fuck did he set on fire with that torch?

>> No.34673699

"You're back already? Have you come for another quest? There's a bandit lord wreaking havoc to the southwest and-"

"Oh. Oh."

"I don't suppose you'd consider a raise?"

>> No.34673737


>> No.34673741

"You shall be purged of your filth"

>> No.34673759

"You came here today, filled with self-belief. You think that you can defeat me, you can restore peace and prosperity to this land, that you'll be heroes."

"A bold plan, but I'm afraid it gets a no from me."

>> No.34673799

Wait, I know a better one!

"Into the thrash you go!"

>> No.34673800



>> No.34673816

Come on then you whippersnappers!

>> No.34673830

Looked like...chopped almonds? or coconut flakes

>> No.34673831

"Who the fuck are these guys?" To my right hand peasant assistant.

"These are the hooligans who have been undoing everything you've been doing."

"What?!" Then, face the heroes. "Why are you guys being such dicks?! What did I ever do to you?!"

The heroes reply with whatever bullshit morality.

"That's stupid. You're all retarded. If I wasn't doing this shit, someone else would. If you kill me, someone else will take my place. Just get the fuck out of here. Go home to your families. Stop risking your life trying to do something that won't change anything. You've wasted your lives and efforts. All you are doing is taking away what I've built, and giving it to the next opportunist that will walk by.

Then, while the heroes are contemplating their life choices and remembering those they left behind, me and my minions surprise attack."

>> No.34673852


ignore messed up quotes

>> No.34673859

So you made it to my camp. Unfortunately I am going to have to AXE you to leave!

>> No.34673860

"Ah, it's you cunts. Back for round 7 are we?"

>> No.34673885

"Taking the job to kill you was the worst idea of my life. But, hell, no sense in backing out now. I got a reputation to maintain."

>> No.34673907

They didn't bring enough men.


>> No.34673924


>> No.34673963

"Take your chances, heroes."

"Roll the dice."

>> No.34673974

This innkeeper is legit.

>> No.34673989

Diced almonds. Has an amazing flavor. Basically spot-roasting almonds for your pleasure.

>> No.34673992

"You think this is my final form? Actually, it is. But it's still enough to defeat you."

>> No.34673994

"Come beset me, I am so tired; of this world, of life, of this emptiness. For all that I have tried to achieve has come to naught. This time, unlike me for so long, I will fight without restrictions. Perhaps then I might be at peace."

>> No.34673995

>the BBEG uses his chance at speech to cast a spell on you

>> No.34674008

You forgot I had seven shots.

>> No.34674015


"So, you made it past minions, nya! Well, that's just purrfect, nya! now you have to deal with m- is that a ball of yarn, nya?!"

>> No.34674030

The ritual is complete. Rejoice, for I could not have done this without you.

>> No.34674036

>His final form


>> No.34674043

You are the best kind of person.

>> No.34674064

>People don't dislike you because you're appalling. Don't get me wrong, you are fucking appalling, that's just not why people dislike you.

>> No.34674184

I really wish you could have seen things my way. I never wanted to do this to any of you. I'm sorry my friends. I promise I will bring you back to life after I'm finished. My new kingdom will need soldiers after all.

>> No.34674196

>catgirl BBEG


>> No.34674235


I've personally always felt that a villain's final speech should have immense frustration and fear in it. The heroes have got THIS far, and he might lose.

He can still win, but he might lose. For the first time, his plans are in danger of utterly unravelling. Something that acknowledges their threat, like:

> "Before you came, my rule was unquestioned! My world, perfect and ordered!"
> "But now...your skulls will be my goblets.
> "And every day - EVERY DAY - I'll drink a toast..."
> "To the men who taught me how to HATE!"

Basically play it up as him losing it, and being both terrified and filed with hatred.

>> No.34674243

I really like this one.

>> No.34674256

>is that a ball of yarn, nya?!"
no its balls of man. time to spank a pussy

>> No.34674263

Nah. A villain's final speech either needs to be overly long edgy bullshit or "Engarde, fuckboys!"

>> No.34674276

Mao that's what I call an evil campaign BBEG.

>> No.34674334

Miiyau is that you?

>> No.34674349

>Engarde, fuckboys!
I'm going to use this

>> No.34674396

Shhh... she's the secret bonus boss, mewbe!

Also, im currently working on classes and skills. What do you think of this for the glafiator?

Active: Can heal himself equal to its charisma 1/fight

passive: Dualwielding, can attack any adjacent enemy that makes and attack next to it.

>> No.34674508

Nyat enyaugh nyas, Nya!


>> No.34674591

It really depends on the role you are going for.
Yeah sure Mewbe...

>> No.34674629

Because people are naturally going to trust the ones closest to you once you die. It gives you an excuse to give them your entire inheritance, so no one bats an eye. And everyone will compliment the new you for being exactly like the old you, and ruling like you always did.

In other words, because it isn't as suspicious.

One of the best in the thread.

Amazing picture. Quote sucked.

Sounds like the best campaign.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

>> No.34674721


Commit suicide. Deny them xp.

>> No.34674788

*aims rifle
"Not yet"

>> No.34674834


>> No.34674847


That's worse than a Tarrasque. By at least 3000 orders of magnitude.

>> No.34674875

Well, I was thinking in a flashy and fast but unarmored fighter.

Ive been thinking about it for a few days, but in the end decided that since players can take defensive maneuvers with their weapons skills, and make them stronger by taking them again, it would be up to them to either take the same defensive maneuver several times to for example reinforce the gladiator's parry to give it defense while relying on its high attack and damage, using the heal 1/fight to stay alive together with defensive maneuvers, or go for an all.out style.

Currenetly I have this

Active: Second Wind - Once per fight, you can instantly heal an amount of hp equal to your charisma.

Passive: Dual Wielding - noone on this board should require an explanation of this skill

Passive: Brutality - Once per adjacent enemy per round, after that enemy does an attack, you may attack it.

So basically with dual wielding you would hit twice on your turn, and then if the enemy attacks you (or someone else), twice more in his/her/its turn.

I had to think a lot about if I wanted to give it light armor or not. For now at least, the answer is no.

>> No.34675083

"Thank goodness, after all those years. Heroes you have freed me from my curse. Name anything, if it is within my power I will grant it to you"
I Roll Bluff

>> No.34675178

Might need good dex and con?
Sound good for one on one.

>> No.34675297

"Spaghetti time."

>> No.34675353

Dead Man's Switches.

Because FUCK YOU, I WIN.

>> No.34675517



>> No.34675538

Literally just opened that up and nope'd out, what's it do?

>> No.34675564

It appears you have been able to locate me after all. You know, it doesn't have to end like this. Just walk away and forget that any of this ever happened.

You can't? This is most unfortunate...I have always made it clear that I abhor violence and I assure you, I'll find no joy in what comes next, but I simply cannot allow you destroy my work. This device has safed countless of innocent lives, not to mention this whole nation time and again. Like I said, I take no pleasure in this, but you forced my hand.
Mister Hale, Miss Matthews - please dispatch these intruders.

>tfw you're so uninspired you steal characters from Jonathan fucking Nolan

>> No.34675630


>> No.34675678

>rogue gives him a fond embrace
>shhh, quiet now
>slips dagger into his throat
>there's no pain, no pain

This is our rogue.

>> No.34675714

*Acolytes burst into the room, after killing waves of chanting cultists*

BBEG: You do realize you just killed a large amount of people at a Khornate ritual, do you?

*starts laughing*


*Voice of the Legion mode: activated*


>> No.34675889

>I loved this cou-*gurk*

>Your mind is software. Prog-*auughhh*

>Yes, I know y-*hrrk*

>> No.34676027

"... So how many dicks am I going to have to suck for you guys to let me off the hook?"

>> No.34677154


>> No.34677273

Surprise twist: the BBEG is a succubus.

>> No.34677416

sauce of that comic?

>> No.34677531

*trigger contingency time stop*
[insert 10 minute monologue, talking is a free action]

>> No.34678137

"That belongs in a museum"

>> No.34678141

Is that leaking skittles?

>> No.34678578

Update: (January 10th 2013) You are now reading insults in Morgan Freeman's voice.
Titty Sprinkels.

>> No.34678655

>Final quote
now you fight for me

>> No.34678666

Source on that image? Is that from a graphic novel?

>> No.34678781

Hastur Hastur Hastur...

>> No.34678799

I am a bartender, and I wish I could do what he does.

>> No.34678888

"Must we? Very well..."

>> No.34679471

>the group just puts him in a magical prison for all eternity.

>> No.34679541

"I dun want no trabble".
You should know who it is.

>> No.34679948

>Good evening, visitors
>His lordship is currently away on business, I am jeeves the butler.
>Would you care for some tea and crumpets while you wait for the master to return?
escape through the kitchen

>> No.34680114


>> No.34680285

Fucking Wooster, probably frolicking somewhere with Tuppy yet again.

>> No.34680921

>Fuck you with a snow shovel.
>You deserve to get an incandescent case of syphilis.
>Please say it's pubic lice.
>Eat a bag of dicks, taint licker. I hope you get fucking humped. Chew the bark off my big fat log.

I read that as krumped at first.
And that 3rd one sounds like something he'd say when he looks at the druid's swarms advancing.

>> No.34682056

Why the fuck did they make the default Cousland look like such a prissy bitch? The whole Human Noble origin was just asking you to play a tough "one of the guys" sargeant-lass good to all her subjects.

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