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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.33697695 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

All word and pixel /tg/-related lewdness is welcome here, so long as the rules are followed. Writefags, consider pastebin/1d4chan rather than dumping for long stories. Drawfags with uncensored pictures need to host their images offsite and link to them. For those of you visiting from other boards, err on the side of censorbars and spoilers if you're hesitant.
People especially appreciate it when you give them meaningful feedback and criticism, so make sure to do so. It's easy and both writefags and drawfags will love you for it.

In any case, enjoy! Remember to play nice and that all contributions and requests are welcome!

>> No.33697706

DISCLAIMER: While these threads are quite tolerant of many different forms of /d/eviancy, you can't just assume that everyone will automatically share your kinks. There's nothing explicitly preventing you from talking about your fetishes, but if someone has one that you dislike, please do not derail the thread with a flamewar- there's plenty of smut for everybody here.

Master smut list:

A guide to constructive criticism, because "Your writing/artwork sucks" doesn't help anyone get better at it.


Need some help coming up with something to write? Here's a few requests that haven't been filled yet.


>> No.33697822

>reusing an OP image so soon

>> No.33697853

Straight Shota maledom when

>> No.33697926

Sup dudes!

Found a good way to cure writer's block, just skip ahead in a story and write some more. That way it's just a matter of tying the two bits together.

>> No.33697984

Writing status: On hold due to lack of required research and general heat of the day.

So have this image instead.

>> No.33697989

So Cooked, about the breakfast blowjob.
>Cotten shirt and panties
>Body of Christina Hendricks
>Christina Hendricks
>Christina Hendricks

I love you cooked.

>> No.33698011


Yeah, okay, but what do you do when all that remains is the part you've struggled to write?

>> No.33698027


>> No.33698032

I'll take that image and give you a crop.

>> No.33698048

Doesn't help...

>> No.33698076

Stop bringing up my secret hidden fetish anon.

>> No.33698078

But Cooked, there are literally hundreds of thousands of videos you could use as research on the internet.

I think a chest like that would fuck up your back so badly. I feel sorry for her, then again she did it to herself so maybe I don't.

I've tried that but it didn't work out so well. I feel the need to explain things that would have been explained earlier on if I'd written it in first. I generally just write something completely unrelated for a bit. Generally when I'm taking a break from smut I write something that Michael Bay might find a little OTT.

Anyway, what do you guys think of a story in which a MILF witch goes out to collect semen for her alchemy? I've written two pages of it so far just to get the idea out and I'm enjoying it so I'll keep going.

>> No.33698098

For you.
I hope it looks alright.

>> No.33698111

>Anyway, what do you guys think of a story in which a MILF witch goes out to collect semen for her alchemy?

yes plz

>> No.33698112


I tend to plan out my stories before hand, so it works for me in that regard. I now what I want to write, it's the wording that i'm having trouble with.

>> No.33698118

>Writing status: On hold due to lack of required research and general heat of the day.

At least it's a bit cooler here after the rainstorm. Half of the city got fucked up by thunder, though. There's literally no way to beat this fucking summer.

>> No.33698133


>> No.33698134

>I think a chest like that would fuck up your back so badly.

Why? I mean seriously, they're not that heavy. You also grow muscles to deal with the extra weight. Bras also mitigate it too.

>> No.33698197

Boobs can be heavy, especially if you're naturally quite thin and don't have the muscles to handle it.
Basically your lower back as to keep you standing up straight and the extra weight means extra work. This is why women with naturally large breasts sometimes get reduction surgery. Many women who get implants often experience this as well.

>> No.33698212

What can I say, I love my older women with some curves.
There is a part of me that still love to commission a picture of that. Go figure what artist though.

Mind you, a cotton shirt that is slightly too small for her due to her rather curvaceous figure. Although I should specify I did kinda mean dress shirt. Something like the attached image, but shorter.

At some point in another there will be a sweater involved, a long Seaman's jumper or something. Might do that for the vibrator story.

I am fully aware of that, and what I'm planning to do for 'research' but there is also the thing that I live with my parents so I can't really check anything like that any time I want to. Not to mention too damn warm for it as well.

Also I just assumed she was naturally busty and not having implants. Could be wrong of course.

Yeah I heard about the monsoon rain from some friends.It'll probably roll down to me by the start of next week or something.

>> No.33698219

>and don't have the muscles to handle it.
But those muscles grow as the breasts do. Less so due to bras, but still.

>> No.33698293

Muscles will only help so much though. You are still straining those muscles every time you stand up. There are probably exercises that can help but I still think it's not great in the long run.

I think I saw a picture of her with small breasts and then with large breasts so I was assuming she had implants. I'm not entirely sure.
I like older women with curves too. Takes me to those confusing high school days...

>> No.33698331

Had me at MILF.

>> No.33698389


Writefag here.
Some of you might remember the Elesh Norn fics from a long time ago...I wrote a few of them.

Any way I could get added to this list?

>> No.33698405

You can edit it yourself. The list isnt some exclusive thing. Otherwise, just share the links and someone here can do it for you.

>> No.33698428

Yeah I have no idea either. I just assumed she was natural because she seems to have the a body type fitting women with a natural large bust instead of just surgically altering them. Could've sworn I remember reading some hubbub about people accusing them being fake as well a year ago or so as well.

>> No.33698434

Post links to them here and archive-anon will make sure they appear on 1d4chan eventually. It might take a while but he'll get round to it eventually.

Glad to know. Anything specific you might like? I aim to please.

>> No.33698450

I'm here. Post away and they'll be right on.

Also, Cooked- I think I forgot to put up Mirror, Mirror, and since your pastes are unlisted I can't find the pastebin for it. Can you provide it for me?

>> No.33698478


Onyx, I just wanted to say I read over the first part of your Princess & Amazon story early this morning. I need to do a second, more thorough reading when I have time, but I do like this setup a lot. I have a lot of fondness for "going native" type stories, so it didn't matter much that the smut content for the first part was low.

Just wanted to say that.

>> No.33698482

awesome, love the Elesh Norn stuff

>> No.33698517

Certainly. Wasn't even really aware that the story hadn't be added yet as I just assumed people nabbed the link as soon as I posted the WIP text.

But here's the link with some suggested tags:
Leather & Silk - Mirror Mirror (M/F, soft, mirror, romantic, caressing, touching, World of Warcraft)

>> No.33698554

Thanks, ThatAnonWhoWritesTG!

That means a lot to me. Really, I love feedback, even negative feedback. It was supposed to be all one story of her getting adopted and "broken in" but I didn't want to turn in a hugely long story and I promised something for this weekend. Part 2 will have much more smut in it.

>> No.33698569

OK, it's up. Don't know how I missed that for so long.

>> No.33698644

Reposting parasite fic.

>The Spore's Sire
>Tags: Sci-Fi, Parasite, Mind Control, Dubcon, Incest, Journal

>Excerpt: Log Entry 12: Date 2525, 11.19: Cadet Strong almost saw it. Barged into my room asking about me. I think she’s concerned about my health, which she has every right to be. Had to pretend I was masturbating to keep it hidden, to get her to leave. Pity, I think she liked me.

>Log Entry 13: Date 2525, 11.20: Still so fucking hungry, already halfway through the nutrient paste, and out of chewing gum. Wintermint flavor was my favorite, but in the case that someone in the future is listening to these, please make Cinnamon the standard issue gum for fleet vessels. If there’s something good I can leave the universe it can be easy access to cinnamon chewing gum, may history remember me for that.

>Log Entry 14: Date 2525, 11.21: No, cant let anyone see it. Cant ask for help. They’ll put me in a fucking cage or a lab environment, run tests on me like a guinea pig. Cut me open and run trials to see what this thing does. Treat me like an animal. Cant let that happen, need to keep hidden. Need to keep the parasite hidden.


Working on SR dragonness fic now.

>> No.33698691

I've got no specific demands, nah. What you said you've got going sounds pretty righteous to me.

>> No.33698753

OK, just checking. I like to make sure my work pleases at least one person. Some people have pretty cool ideas too.

>> No.33698990

I can dig it. We really need more interesting OP images.

>> No.33699017

I can try to do more later.
Shiniez is great for this kind of thing.

>> No.33699036

Captcha ate muh image.

>> No.33699040

>that awful tumblr comic

Jesus Christ this board needs quality control

>> No.33699059

Sorry guys, but I'm not gonna be able to post the infinity fappage tonight. I'll try to finish it in the morning. Just letting you know, I'm up to the point where Lt. Margot's about to get a big surprise.

>> No.33699095

Which I'm just gonna assume involves some sort of appendage up the rectum or similar.
Or that someone is packing a rocket launcher.

>> No.33699105

True, but we'd want a good variety. I need to dig through my folders and see if I have anything which could work.

Also, out of curiosity; what do people want to see me do next? CtL tentacle dream-sequence fic, or B&P werewolf sex?

>> No.33699159


You think with portals, cooked.

Think. With. Portals.

>> No.33699170

That could be a good OP image.

>Wall socket powered toys
You have my curiosity...

>> No.33699171

Aye aye, captain.

>> No.33699202

+1 for Tentacle dream sequence.
+2 for it if it becomes harder to separate the dream from reality.
+50 if it goes all Total Recall and makes us question if it actually happened or not.

But yeah, the changeling story sounds awesome.

Is the /pol/ack who requested the SR dragon thing around? Ive decided to go with an original dragoness for a few reasons, but its going well! It'll incorporate some TF on the part of the dragon lady, if thats ok.

>> No.33699438

>B&P werewolf sex

Either sounds good, but I am heavily invested in the B&P at the moment.

>> No.33700071


This was freaky and a good read. I like the way you wrote the protagonist's changing state of mind.

>> No.33700217


>> No.33700323

I've re-written the first page of my milf witch story three fucking times. I just can't get it to feel right!

I might have passed that "just drunk enough" line...

>> No.33700449

>Anyway, what do you guys think of a story in which a MILF witch goes out to collect semen for her alchemy? I've written two pages of it so far just to get the idea out and I'm enjoying it so I'll keep going.

>Muscles will only help so much though
Unless they're so far on the bell curve she'll need frequent doctor's visits to keep an eye on them, it's more or less always possible for a large breasted woman to get /fit/ enough to not worry about back pain from breast size. Mind you, she'd have to work out a lot and most (but not all) types of such strength training has a side effect reducing breast size due to burning fat, but with the proper workout regime, a large chested woman could avoid back pain if she doesn't mind being a bit on the bulky side.

>Working on SR dragonness fic now.
Yesss, also will check out the parasite one latter tonight

>> No.33700564

A piggyback ride?

>> No.33700725

I hope so.

>> No.33700742

I thought she was having sex with a spooky skellington.

>> No.33700786

A female cleric prostituting herself with wealthy noblemen to fund her destitute church. Perhaps bringing a couple of novices along.

Would anyone be willing to write a story like this?

>> No.33700870

Honestly both are pretty much just as good as I'm concerned, the Changeling story was good too. I think I'm just slightly more curious about where B&P is going, but I'd be happy to see either, especially if we get to see both of them eventually.

Anyway, I've managed to catch up on the latest B&P, great as always. I think the Orc scene and the ending were especially good and if the ending suggests what it seems to (getting to see Ireela doing something other than practicing the oldest profession for fun) then I'm definitely curious to see what's coming next, even if it may not involve smut.

Also, I noticed something a bit odd on line 213:
He's bigger than the third...
I assume this should've said "first" or something, since the introduction on line 217 wouldn't make much sense otherwise.

>> No.33700998

>if the ending suggests what it seems to (getting to see Ireela doing something other than practicing the oldest profession for fun) then I'm definitely curious to see what's coming next, even if it may not involve smut.

A million times this. I don't understand why I'm so invested in this idea. I can't into talking good. All I know is the prospect intrigues me like some kind of...mystery box.

>> No.33701060

And now some food for thought:

Galactus eating out Remina

>> No.33701084

I think you've mixed us up with /co/.

>> No.33701445

I have a fetish for girls getting the D while other girls hold them down. Not necessarily in a rape situation, in fact I quite like the idea of a friend being there for emotional support and then offering to "help."

Is there anything like that in any of the stories on the master list? It's not exactly something I can ctr+f for.

>> No.33701667

I don't think so, no.

>> No.33701708

You make me sad.

>> No.33701726


Hmm. Sounds interesting. I think it might be a feature in some stories but never play enough of a role to warrant their own tag.

>> No.33701747

I'm sure Pelor won't mind.

>> No.33701762

It's in the pipeline for me, want to have a scene like that for the second XCom story whenever I get around to finishing it. Whenever that happens.

>> No.33701859

Now that I think about it I miiiiight be able to squeeze in something like that for the Warlock story I'm working on with having Gwen the apprentice being consoled by her mistress as she's either taking the Wrathguard or the Voidwalker member inside her.
Meanwhile at the same time the succubus is being savagely fucked by whoever is left over because Sarlissa is a massive bitch and deserves her due punishment.

And it other news it seems that Sunstone Book 1 is getting published by Top Cow in December.

>> No.33701881

Requesting something with Malacanthet.
Or any of the demon lords from D&D.

>> No.33702157

reposting from the previous thread:

Hey, I'm the guy who wrote that Exalted smut about a mortal prostitute in Autochthonia here: http://pastebin.com/wHfiNC3G

I decided to take a short break from that and work on a different set of Exalted theme smut fics, this time focused around a Dragonblood and her sexual escapades. Here's the first chapter


The first chapter is mostly just my first attempt at Yuri, and I found it a bit challenging to make sure everyone understood who was doing what to whom. If you have any feedback, I'd love to hear it.

>> No.33702248

Awesome, I'll be looking forward to these.

>> No.33702527

Onyx, I'm like the Princess story so far. She's got just enough brattiness: not enough to be annoying, but more than enough for her realization how screwed she is to be delightfully wicked.

Can't wait for part 2!

>> No.33702633

Glad to hear!

I'm working on something unrelated right now but part two is already planned out in my head. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it by next week or sooner and get this milf-witch story done too.

>> No.33702827

Third and final repost for the weekend, if anyone missed it before.

Lolth's Prize, part one out of (???) parts.

Tags: drow, consensual, torture, discipline, S&M, rough sex

Please be patient as I am working on the further parts.


>> No.33702945

Well, I'm going to bed. I'm out of booze, it's 3:30am and I officially cannot write for shit any more.

See y'all next week, my friends.

>> No.33703016


While I liked how you worked all the fluff about Erelhei-Cinlu into the story, I was curious about something- was it supposed to end that abruptly?

>> No.33703167

>While I liked how you worked all the fluff about Erelhei-Cinlu into the story, I was curious about something- was it supposed to end that abruptly?

It's part one of (????) parts. That's the first place it felt natural to do a cut before the next part.

>> No.33703372

Goodbye and goodluck, you glorious possibly lady person, you!

>> No.33703675


Spiders. Spiders? Spiders!

>> No.33703695

Oop, did not mean to quote.

>> No.33703750

Is cuteanon live?

>> No.33704024


>> No.33704085

Plz link to the thing, I want in too.

>> No.33704100


>> No.33704187

thank you based anon

>> No.33704245

>Title: Cleaning the infection
>-In a war against an alien species prone to infecting people with a mutagenic virus turning them into hybrids under their joint brood one soldier must do his utmost to rescue the woman he loves when she gets assimilated.
>Notes: Not-Kerrigan gets fucked good pretty much.
>Themes: M/F

Well that's certainly one of the more odder scenarios I've come up with recently. God knows when I'll ever get around writing it though. But I've got it down on "paper" at least for the possibility that it might happen.

>> No.33704340

I can fap to this

>> No.33704430

I am not the slightest surprised at that.

>> No.33704629


Kerrigan x Kerrigan is always good stuff, by the way.

>> No.33705076

You have my interest.

>> No.33706061


>> No.33706124

I would like to request a fapfic where X-23 is overcome by her wild urges and reverse rapes some guy.
Not /tg/, and very vague, but maybe some bored writefag is so merciful and delivers.

>> No.33706164


Actually Marvel and DC both have either RPGs or rules for other RPGs, so they're technically /tg/ related.

>> No.33706387

Always I am saddened that people prefer to play other RPGs while neglecting modern day action adventure and/or superhero stuff. All eras and magic levels can be fun! You just need good players and game masters.

>> No.33706389

I require some more golem fics. There isn't enough dildogolem fics right now.

>> No.33706391

Still, most of us don't know about the characters well enough to fill the prompt. Best try asking /co/ if this doesn't work out for you.

>> No.33706454

Writefriends, who would you say you write for? Do you write just to get an idea out? When you take a request, do you aim to please the requester or do you just want to finish something that you can look over and say, "yeah, this is the story I want to tell."?

All of the above? Other?

>> No.33706501

Do they have smut threads?

>> No.33706540

I love to write. It's an addiction and it feels good. I adore the whole process. When I take a request it's because I think it's a good idea or I have a twist to it that I think would be fun to write.

>> No.33706544

>Writefriends, who would you say you write for?
Mostly myself, though the reactions of readers is always amusing.

>Do you write just to get an idea out?
That's pretty accurate.

>When you take a request, do you aim to please the requester?
Si. I can imagine several reasons why someone might wish to write a request, but making some random anon happy is probably the most common.

Not marked as such, but you see some risque pastebins here and there in threads. They're a fun bunch.

>> No.33706708


Most of my best stuff has come from a request or idea granted by someone else, a kind anon of some kind or another.

But whilst they gave me a seed, it was my own lewdness and my desire to improve my craft that often drove me on. I've had my sour moments and some stories have ended less well than I'd have liked, and there have been exhausting slog moments, but every now and then I look back on my best stuff and feel a sense of pride in accomplishment.

Its moments like that that remind me why I love to write, and why one day I absolutely will be a successful paid Writer of some kind.

>> No.33706754

It might be a little late, but I have another OP picture to share.

>> No.33706846

But it's not lewd.

>> No.33706860

it's about the idea of smutty stories being cheesy though

>> No.33706909

Heres the shadowrun dragon thing i was working on. Quick, dirty and scaly, just like i promised.
>Wyrm's reward
>Shadowrun, male decker x female dragon, fisting, TF
>Excerpt: “Spare me the shoptalk. We’re going to do things a little differently today; I have your pay with me right now, nice little Gold-grade credstick, maxed out and without any RFID tags. Come on over to Shiawase Towers, penthouse suite and its all yours. You have thirty five minutes, starting….now.”

>Frames chugged the remainder of his soda and sprinted out the door. Shiawase Towers was across town, and according to his cybereye’s image link, traffic was bad.

>Another thing to add to the long list of things he hated the wyrm for.

All of the above, though mostly its when i get an idea in my head i cant share with my friends it becomes porn, and I really like to share my ideas.

Anyways, im going to TRY and do Temptation 3, but now ive got some serious doubts about it. Gonna power through though, for the lewds.

>> No.33706930

i think the concept of this creature is what drives me crazy, in a good way. i used to catch newts when i was a kid

>> No.33706938


>> No.33706955

theyre so soft and slimy

>> No.33707076

Yeah but real newts are amphibians that lack wings. Is it newts or salamanders that look all chubby? A proper whichever-I'm-thinking-of species would be slimy and chubbyfat.

And they can always take ten on a swim check!

>> No.33707107

I don't even know anymore.

>> No.33707133


>> No.33707544

god bless your soul writefriend

>> No.33707806

No problem mate, happy fapping.

>> No.33707845

Awesome. Have to wonder where banging your decker fits in to the ancient, incomprehensible machinations.

>> No.33707951

That dragon lady is adorable. Not that I'd expect anything less from Cuteanon, but still.

>> No.33707963

In between the thighs of course

>> No.33708182

>> No.33708215


Let's really not.

>> No.33708291

That doesn't always work though, some times bit writing can chop up the over all flow of a work.

Then their is the creative aspect, like how I usually try to follow my stream of consciousnesses.

Personally, I've always been a fan of the "Lift with your Legs" method, AKA, DAT ASS!

>What can I say, I love my older women with some curves.
That's the Power of MILF!


Reading now, what method of parasitism did you end up going with?

...Pic related?

What about Tentacles?
Rarely does anyone appreciate the sheer versatility of Tentacles...

>It'll incorporate some TF on the part of the dragon lady, if thats ok.
But what KIND of TFs Francisco?

We do have a lack of Skellington Porn...

>Not a Cleric of a Sex God/dess...
Do you EVEN Magical Realm... Or just Ancient History, son?

Lolth is a Demon Lord isn't she?

>Not getting Assimilated himself...
Do you even Legion Anon?

What about Kerrigan X Nova?

>> No.33708322

And here I was thinking we'd be able to go without you for a week.

>> No.33708331

That's something probably best avoided.

>> No.33708392


>"I have a thing for scrawny nerds and femdom involving abuse of power. Hey, not everything has to be complicated."

>> No.33708541

Just took a look at the wiki- it seems ELH has been busy.

>> No.33708685

I have a huge libido, and I fear that if I don't milk it constantly with creative endeavors it may swell up and burst...

At least I'm not on it...

Sorry, came back home just in time to bug you!

>> No.33708840

She's pretty cute alright.

>> No.33708891

>your girlfriend of two months reveals that she's a dragon by partially transforming back and using this line

>> No.33708905

Is there an uncensored version of this pic ?

>> No.33708971


>> No.33709044


catch of the day

>> No.33709276

>having to cut ideas out

I forgot how much of a problem I have with focusing my ideas.

>> No.33709310

When you cut ideas out, save them in a text file because you never know when they might be great for their own story.

>> No.33709384

Hey DLFG, Tiefling fanboy here.

I finished Part 2, and I must say, wow. What you write is, once again, just hot.
And mostly a trip into my magical realm.

There are some typos here and there (a he instead of a she, her instead of hers, room instead of roof, nothing major), but worrying about those is probably a waste of time.
one noticeable bit is line 213, it looks like you cut some part out there. It says 'third' there instead of 'first'
Sombody posted yesterday that there are some slightly awkward repetitions, I realize saying that again and not offering a solution is not very helpful, but finding alternative ways to descrube the same thing several tims in a row just isn't easy.

You noted some time ago that you worried a bit about gettign too wordy with the desccriptions of settings, people or their clothing: Really, don't.
You never get too longwinded, and none of those descriptions was an irreelevant information dump. It all helps the story along, or explains why something is happening, or going to happen.
In some cases a slightly more accurate description would actually help, even if it just provides background.
Just a sentence or two about what a 'background-and-a-bit' character is wearing, for example the black lady (Thaelia?) with the drake

The sex scenes are hot, and the way you describe Ireela'S own feelings while managing to not reduce her male partners to simply floating dicks she goes down on/gets fucked by/etc. is what makes it so. . .interesting to read.

The oral scene with the orc chieftain is great, it's noticeable how that might be your magical realm (and he offers a good tie-in for the next planned chapter), but

unfortunately the orgy scene pales a bit in comparison.
It might profit from some slight changes.

Also, some parts are funny, or at least made me laugh. 'You're staring at my cock.'

Too many jokes are bad, but the funny scenes you included worked well.

OK. (part 2 follows)

>> No.33709394

So he has. Nice to see the Princess of Commorragh get continued; not sure what happened to dad though.

>> No.33709438

oh god yes

>> No.33709449

oh? has he been updating Reri's adventures?

>> No.33709532

Now the iffy part where I throw ideas around how to fuck up your perfectly good and already finished story.

Firstly, some minor things for the orgy part.

It would somehow be more fitting if her first blowjob was Cathwar, and only the other guys after him had to pay. That way, the contract between the two would feel as if it was really fulfilled.
And I think Ireela WOULD remember the sum she charged.

The other part is anal. Now, maybe that's a guy thing, but in that situation somebody would either try it without paying and get a tailslap, or ask for the price.

This next thing would be a slight change to part 1.

The idea is an expanded bathing scene, where Caelia gives her a really hot bath (I don't know if the water can be 'almost scaldingly hot' or something along those lines, I do not know wether Tieflings tend to have a higher heat tolerance or not)
Anyway, Ireela gets bathed and washed most thoroughly everywhere, by a more and more blushing Caelia.
Ireela begins enjoying the attention, care and fuzz about her own person, and the fact that Caelia is (almost) accidentally stimulating her.

The talk they have, with Caelia asking Ireela if she might have her as a client then gets interrupted.
(another part incoming)

>> No.33709539

Well, the story is complete now. Not sure what the final conversation is meant to imply, though it potentially opens it up for continuation.

>> No.33709589

Cue a new character, Caelia's boss. She is in charge of getting all the guests looking pretty. And she considers all those guests to be whores, whom she treats like pieces of meat to be prepared for consumption, not actually people.
And she uses her tiny share of power to tyrannize the maids.
She is probably a bit older, thin, waspish, but knows her job very well.
The bath is finished, and she inspects Ireela. She never even talks to her directly, she only tells her to move this way, show her foot, lift her tail, and she orders Caelia around almost teh same way.
She is checking all of Ireela. Is she shaved everywhere? Is she sufficiently cleaned? Underside of her tail all clean? Ass and pussy clean? As if she was a slave beign readied for acution.
Ireela probably hates it, it is demeaning.

Relief arrives in the form of that woman being called away because. . don't know what, some calamity with another guest being preparedd that requires her attention.
She quickly selects the right type and colors of makeup for Caelia to use,and tells her to 'finish tenderizing and painting that red demon whore' or something like that at the door, if you want to include a bit about discrimination.

This is all about driving home the objectification part, and how it's not nice most of the time.

Now, Caelia obviusly thinks Ireela is rather pretty and doesn't care that she is a prostitute, and is probably gonna excuse profoundly, mostly by her giving her a very thorough, careful massage, as a counterpoint to having the other woman poke and inspect her everwhere like a piece of meat.
Again, this does not quite mean Caelia actually making love to Ireela, but it gets close when she massages her tail and upper thigs.
(aaand another part)

>> No.33709652

I nearly lost my sides at Lelith and Vect's conversation.

ELH, quality as always.

>> No.33709656

Ireela already thought to herself that sex with women is like all foreplay, so distinction is probably a bit blurry here.

Finally, the dressing scene as it is, leaving Ireela feeling objectified, yet empowered, because she can pull off weearing that, and everyone will just WANT her.

This is obviously also meant to seriously tease Ireela, setting the mood for part two.

Welp. Now I wrote way more than I had planned, and I didn't even start writing anything about the idea for a future chapter, and nothing about Mask and Masques, either.

Anyway, rest assured that reading about your Teifling is highly enjoyable. Till next week.

>> No.33709660

Good thinkin'.

>> No.33709737

>Not sure what the final conversation is meant to imply
Neither am I, no idea whats up with that book and its author.

>> No.33709788

He said he wanted to keep her father's identity deliberately ambiguous so new readers wouldn't need to read smut for context. Granted, they could (and should) do it, but they don't need to.

>> No.33709789

Presumably she didn't manage to get rid of all the hidden cameras?

Assuming this is a straight sequel to Hesperax's pet.

>> No.33709839

Fair enough. Kind of a shame in that it prevents messing around with however that relationship would work, though.

>> No.33709840

I'm not seeing the connection, mind elaborating?

>> No.33709853

You read Hesperax's pet, right?

The cameras relate to stuff right at the beginning.

>> No.33709924


line 15: "id need to get medbay the check."

>I'd need to get medbay to check

Line 31: "ive got more important things."
you know what to do.

Line 58: "ill go check,"

Line 66: "Or maybe its because im weaker?"
> "it's" "I'm"

Line 72: "im going to grab a bite before she wakes up."

Whoa, that story was intense. Freaked me out and intrigued me at the same time. Thoroughly enjoyed the style. Neat way to write a story. Beginning to wonder if you have a thing for diseases, deformities, and defects with people... hmm.. either way, I enjoyed it. Nice addition Francisco.

>> No.33709950

Or if you just mean the connection to the book itself, note that in the line
>“She is my daughter, after all. Now, where is it?”
the word "it" is a hyperlink

>> No.33709974

I legit laughed way too hard at this.

What are you working on right now, good sir?

>> No.33710038

Thanks for catching those. Glad you liked it.
I think I might have caught a new fetish, yeah. Not sure the extent of it, but im definitely aroused be peoples bodies becoming...worsened? Maybe corrupted is the right word? People becoming changed for the worse yet in an erotic way? Something like that.

>> No.33710042

didn't catch that, though I'm still confused as to its meaning and what the book is or its author

>> No.33710078

It means that the book is the link. As to the author, unknown but could be explained by not finding all the cameras as per Hesperax's Pet. Or someone getting new ones in.

>> No.33710104

Could be that the inquisitor who 'gave' Avitus to Lelith wrote the book based on what the cameras recorded.

>> No.33710137

Do I even magical realm? Do you?
The whole fucking point is their doing it despite not wanting to.

Now, please just leave.

>> No.33710174


>> No.33710195

I think he forgot to reply to NiceDaemonettes dumbass post

>> No.33710216

Yep. I'm almost as dumb as he is.

>> No.33710239

I don't even know anymore.

>> No.33710271

But seriously, I'm probably going to drop the trap story for now and work on something else.
Writing gay is hard.

>> No.33710297

Were you the one with the story about the mercenary and the new girl at the brothel in his backlog?

>> No.33710322

Depends on what you mean by "Worsened..."
If they are changing into something they normally would be against, then I'd say it's Corruption...

Well then I'll go ahead and answer, fucktard...
If her Religion is okay with the act of Prostitution, I.E. the selling of ones body, why did her church become destitute in the first place?
Why weren't they running a damn brothel in the first place?

If such a practice is Taboo in her Religion AND the Cleric doesn't want to sell herself sexually, why would she even consider it?

>> No.33710335

That may even be what I move on to. I want to do it right, though; so no promises that it'll be done soon.

>> No.33710348

Any chance for feedback on this? Sorry if I'm being too pushy, but if there is anyone interested in offering some critique I'd love to hear it!

>> No.33710367

Desperation. The idea is that she's willing to damn herself to save the rest of the church.
Self sacrifice for the greater good.

>> No.33710370


Nonsense, there's no such thing as too pushy. Just keep bringing it up until someone finally notices or breaks down and does it.

>> No.33710418

I understand, man. Take your time, no point in rushing it.

>> No.33710494

>Desperation. The idea is that she's willing to damn herself to save the rest of the church.
>Self sacrifice for the greater good.
I can understand that angle, but what is it that she's so damn desperate to save?
A church is much more than a building after all, and a Parish without Parishioners isn't much of a Parish, now is it?

>> No.33710539

Who says there aren't parishioners? maybe it's just that her parishioners are too poor for the donations to keep the place open.

>> No.33710602

Maybe I was too focused on the idea that D&D Clerics are basically salesmen for their chosen deity, and Parishioners equal Power...

>> No.33710613

And that's why Louisiana should just call them counties like the rest of the damn country.

>> No.33710682

I'm about 1/3 of the way through. The exposition is a little blatant, but appreciated as I know nothing about the setting.

I'll give you a full review when I finish, just wanted you to it's being read.

>> No.33710693

...But would you a Louisiana, Anon?

>> No.33710734

Honestly, I thought "for the church" implied that she had some sort of "feed the people" kind of motive. In my mind the church simply is the people as well as the building.
This is what happens when one assumes. It makes an ass out of u and me.
Sorry for being insulting earlier.

>> No.33710741

So basically you were making colossal, unfounded assumptions. The original statement made no mention of DnD, not all DnD religions would automatically be fine with their clergy becoming hookers, not all parishes or parishioners are going to be super wealthy, maybe the church as a whole is unfashionable with the wealthy elements of society so no way to just go elsewhere and the priestess doesn't want to abandon her flock anyway...

>> No.33710780

Technically, the church IS the people and the clerics. Just like a school is its students and faculty, and a court of law is the judge and bailiffs etc.

That's why the original terms for the buildings were "church house", "schoolhouse", "court house" etc.

>> No.33710833

>Honestly, I thought "for the church" implied that she had some sort of "feed the people" kind of motive.
Reasonable, I was probably falling into "Give a fish; Teach how to Fish" thinking, which would make abandoning a "failing" flock an option...

>> No.33710999

Surprised they haven't been touched, what with all the incest, bestiality, rape and other fetishes mentioned offhandedly in FCII

>> No.33711053

Part 2 of Sister Hospitaller and Black Templar. They meet again two years later.


Tags: 40k, SoB, Astartes, Fellatio, Anal

>> No.33711153

No, you were just showing your constant inability to keep your big mouth shut.

Lurk more.

>> No.33711193

You're not from the states are you?

>> No.33711316

Okay, finished.

Like I said earlier, I think the early exposition was a bit blatant. While I appreciate the need for it, personally not knowing a thing about the setting, perhaps you could work it a bit differently. I'd suggest using specific examples. Instead of saying how the other houses block her politically, how about you start the story with Mnemon receiving news about something like that happening and then having a sarcastic "Again? I never would have imagined" sort of reaction, or reflecting on how she almost thought it would work -this- time. This would imply that she deals with issues like that all the time without outright saying it.

In terms of your prose there were a few things I noticed. You used the phrases:
____ sort of ____
>pleasant sort of suffering
>delightful sort of friction

____ couldn't help but _____
>Mei couldn’t help but admire
>Mnemon couldn’t help but notice

While you did not overuse these (only using them twice each that I could see), you -did- use them fairly close to each other.
Not a big issue, but something to watch out for in the future. I don't think it merits changing in this story, just try and be aware of how often you use certain phrase.

Around line/section/paragraph 101 you used the word "pussy," using it again a paragraph or two later.
The only issue I have with this is that the rest of the language you used was more... elevated. "Pussy" just comes across as a bit slang-ish and vulgar compared to the rest of the story. I find that words like pussy and cunt can work well in dialogue, but using them in the meat of the story just reminds me that a person is writing what I'm reading.
But that's mostly me, I'm sure most readers wouldn't even notice it.

The sex itself was well done and erotic. The way Mnemon kept taking pains to stay in control, and being occasionally distracted by random thoughts about Mei, her own household, and politics, just worked. It was more realistic, I suppose.

>> No.33711333


I am, I was just making a veiled allusion to the Ohio-fetish Anon from that screen cap...

>> No.33711412

>I am, I was just making a veiled allusion to the Ohio-fetish Anon from that screen cap..
Fair enough, but seriously no one in their right mind would want to fuck Louisiana.

>> No.33711430

Their sex wasn't a flawless stream of pleasure, it wasn't perfect. I find that this always, always makes it more interesting to read.
Reading perfect sex is boring.
So, good job on that front.

My only other issue is a weird one.
Why do both of them have clothing with buttons?

The way the story reads it sounds like the setting is based on the ancient Far East, particularly China. Up until you mentioned them unbuttoning things I just assumed they were wearing robes.
And then, as they undress, it almost sounds like they're wearing Japanese schoolgirl uniforms with shirts and skirts.

Again, this is probably just me being picky.

Regardless, I liked the story. You gave us enough buildup for me to understand what's going on without boring me with irrelevant details.
The length of the story was just right, and kudos for having the majority of it include lewdness and sex of one sort or another.

Will be reading again.
Will be waiting for part 2.

>> No.33711472

They might, if they have a foot fetish.

>> No.33711503


p-please don't talk about my state that way anon-san!

>> No.33711610


>> No.33711641

Requesting a Sahuagin and a sea elf having violent hatesex.

>> No.33711865

I like to imagine that this guy brought a friend with him to the zoo, jumped into the newt exhibit, pulled the poor creature out of hiding, and then yanked it up out of the water for this specific photo op.

>> No.33711915

Or he, you know, works for the zoo and was holding the Salamander up for pictures...

>> No.33712178

That's why I like to imagine.

>> No.33712606

Thank you very much! I'll definitely revise accordingly.

>> No.33712647

So what are we all working on now?

For those of us who missed it earlier, I'm planning my first big break into writefaggotry by doing one of my own prompts. You can see the notes for it right here:


Tell me what you think, if you haven't seen it already that is.

>> No.33712850

Do you have a link to part 1?

>> No.33712876

Nevermind, found it on the Index. Part 2 was excellent, looking forwards to Part 1.

>> No.33712901

Anyone have a link to stories about Maple the Dryad? Somehow ended up with a link to 'A very Maple Christmas', didn't see anything on the smut index.

>> No.33712951

I'm still planning this out


Mostly trying to flesh out the characters before I even start. My brain keeps trying to jump ahead. He's starting to piss me off.

>> No.33713014

>Somehow ended up with a link to 'A very Maple Christmas'

So you have a link to that?

>> No.33713127

Hey guys, first time in this thread and I gotta say I love what you're doing. Would you all mind if I made a request?

I'd like to have a fic written about a giant spider who traps an innocent young and tender boy, (but is totally legal though) and shoves a popiscle covered in hotsauce up his ass until he cums all over its thorax.

>> No.33713133




>> No.33713161


>> No.33713172

Not sure is serious.

>> No.33713187

It'll get made all the same, though probably next week

>> No.33713196

>have visited every Weekend Smut Thread for the past three years
>haven't masturbated since I was twelve
what am I even doing at this point

>> No.33713222


Oh bless you, you're a saint

>> No.33713229

>mfw we haven't even been here for one full year yet, let alone 3

Oh god, were getting time travelers now.

>> No.33713253

>implying Weekend Smut Thread didn't have its precursors
It's /tg/. Different names, same thing.

>> No.33713298

A few more requests for anyone who feels like writing them, or to be added to the pastebin...

>lesbian Nomads (in the Infinity setting)
>Guardsman + Sister of Battle (romantic and cuddly)
>male bandit caught by female paladin and "punished" in various humiliating ways
>a cybernetic clown in the Shadowrun universe schlicking by herself
>a male human fucking a female werewolf (in human form but with enhanced senses and strength)

>> No.33713354

Lemme just dump off this link to a rather adorable not worksafe picture before I head off to work:

>> No.33713364

Don't get your hopes up, I've got fifteen other requests on my to do list. I-I'll finish them some day,I swear

>> No.33713428

I could tackle the bottom-most one there. I have a little experience with werewolf smut.

>> No.33713437

Ive got a request to make

A male adventurer with a toned body meets a hairy muscled orc at a local tavern and befriends him, orc and the adventurer go on an adventure together in which they get dirty one way or another and have to bathe in a nearby lake. The orc makes moves on the human/gropes him in the lake, to which the human responds hesitantly towards before eventually giving in to his lust for the orc. And then they have gay sex on the shore the end

thankyou in advance.

>> No.33713444

That would be wonderful. Please do if you feel up for it.

>> No.33713495

Next /wst/ then? And is there anything specific you want?

>> No.33713515

If you like, she can be dominant, but a lot of people don't want to write that, so she doesn't have to be.

>> No.33713520

Seconding this

>> No.33713584

does anyone have the botfly request screencap? the one where even /d/ couldnt help the poor bastard?

>> No.33713594

Oh, and feedback for this would be helpful. I haven't added much to it since last thread, but with some luck I could get the beginning of a rough draft set up sooner rather than later.

>> No.33713600


>> No.33713620


>> No.33713642

Hmmm... Relationship to the man?

>> No.33713703

Met in college. Lost touch. Both had feelings they didn't want to admit at the time (he had a girlfriend before). She finds out he's single, maybe she's in heat, maybe she's just horny, but she seduces the living fuck out of him and then goes wild on him.

This is just stuff I'm making up because you ask. If you have an idea you like better, feel free to write it instead.

>> No.33713777

Hmmm... You care to have any partial transformation?

>> No.33713786

I don't care one way or the other. But I'd like it to have a happy ending, with them ending up together.

>> No.33713830

Does he know she's a werewolf?

>> No.33713950

I can have it happen before her transformation, it'd make sense with her primal urges at a peak.

>> No.33714077

If she was exposed by partially transforming as the foreplay overwhelmed her it'd probably lead to an interesting post-coital cuddling conversation

>> No.33714132

Re-requesting a lewd request for a story - because last time i was drunk as fuck and didn't read the rules too well, so please be gentle -, which i somewhat mentioned about two weeks ago. One of them was about Blue, an earth caste tau female of the scraplootas mistaken as a blue grot raised by orks since child. Being cute, curvy, innocent-ish and all - mostly due to the cute, curvy and and innocent-ish parts.

When she got time alone and was horny from time to time - towards what, i don't know, perhaps herself in front of the mirror or simply to ease her strange urges she doesn't know too well because orks who raised her are asexual - , she loved to play with her breasts a lot, which result in her breasts starting to lactate. She's doesn''t even known what her breasts are for apart from a highly erogenous zone like her vagina, thinking she's cumming from her breasts, except that that the fluid coming out tastes better than most of the stuff she gets to drink and eat.

I'll be fine with any curvy earth caste tau girl in similar situation, but Blue fits in this too well, i think...

>> No.33714195

Consider it done, come next /wst/

>> No.33714225

I can't remember us ever getting so many requests in such a short amount of time.

>> No.33714261

Last chapter of H&A
then maybe drawing

>> No.33714265

Tempting, very tempting...

Would Sororita lezzings be over done for this?

>> No.33714596

Goodnight everyone.
See you next weekend.

>> No.33714673

night, happy lewd and not so lewd dreams to you

>> No.33714745


I don't care THAT much. If only one of those young earth caste girls were there with their very womanly and more or less milky assets - preferably with lots high quality details involved - it would be some very delicious stuff. But i think my original request would still fit something like this better. It would be somewhat less generic at the least?

>> No.33714846

Wow, I need the third one from this list to come into existence.

>> No.33716463

A Very Maple Christmas

Sorry, should have linked it previously.

>> No.33716499

But it's summer.

>> No.33716548

It's called christmas in july.

>> No.33716568


Just like they have in Australia.

>> No.33716580

they still have christmas in december in Australia, it's just summer.

>> No.33716825


I vote in favour of partial or even full transformation. Sex-triggered lycanthropy is something of a recent kink of mine and I'd be very happy to see this in a work of some kind. :)

>> No.33716850


I'm highly intrigued by this pitch and look forward to seeing where you go with this. Its more story than smut, and i hesitate to make any suggestions, since I want to see where you want to take this.

>> No.33716854

Hey, author of 'Kobold loving, Battle of the Bulge' here.

Anybody have any suggestions, comments or requests for moving forwards? Sorry to be silent for so long, life's not exactly been charitable to me lately so I haven't been able to write for a while.

>> No.33717164

>more story than smut

Yeah, like it says, even I am unclear as to if it will belong here when it is done. I appreciate you wanting to let me do it my way, but I'm still open to suggestions when I can get them. I'm still focusing my ideas on this, and while I have a general structure nothing is too concrete just yet.

>> No.33717265


Or maybe Avitus kept a journal.


Spoiler just to get people to think there's more to this post

>> No.33717288

but then that would mean he's the author that gets mutilated, and thats just mean

>> No.33717365


We all know that's foreplay for them anyways. What, you thought Lelith broke out the cat ears every night?

>> No.33717460


It could also be that someone stole said journal and either wrote from it or reprinted it. Plenty of non-acolyte mutilating possibilities. Like Vect lying for example. I wouldn't put it past him to keep a secret copy around just to keep leverage over Lelith.

>> No.33717544

Sup dudes, nearly finished the Mirage 5 fappage story. Just one question: cervical penetration is painful, right?

>> No.33717564

Knowing Vect, he probably has a copy just to amuse himself and feel all warm and fuzzy on particularly cold nights

>> No.33717575

Very. Like, extremely. Its true that -some- girls like it, but it will leave you bruised and sore and find walking difficult for a while, usually.

Think of it as like someone punching your dick to make it cum. I don't know if thats the best comparison.

>> No.33717579

Not in a sexy way like spanking or play choking. It's just fucking painful and unpleasant.
I cannot emphasize how painful it is and I've barely had mine bumped.

>> No.33717613

Cheers guys. I just reached the point where Duroc lost control and went Dog Warrior mid-fuck and I want it to be sorta-realistic.

>> No.33717780

Somebody earlier today linked to a pastebin of a smut with a Rogue Trader captain capturing Tyranids to use as sex objects. I can't find it any more, though, and I don't remember what it was called. Can anyone help me find this?

>> No.33717816

Probably Xeno-Lover? It's up on Hentai Foundry, if that's the one you're thinking of.

>> No.33717933

Every girlfriend I've ever had was like that at first, but its like a second (extreme) hymen. Once a girl gets used to it, it's gravy. One girl complained that it had ruined sex for her.

Keep trying the cervix, once you get past that pain a whole new world opens up.

>> No.33718118

Isn't there a chance for injury and infection?

>> No.33718154

Yes, definitely.
It's playing with fire.

>> No.33718293

Yeah of course. You have to be careful. It's like any other kind of sex though, it involves a lot of trust and safety precautions. You can badly injure yourself doing normal penetrative sex, as well as get infections that way.

Condoms, lube is a big helper and of course make sure you are both clean, but the single most important thing is trust and communication.

Get the girl there comfortably, and pay attention when you start 'parting the veil' so to speak.

The first couple of times there will be blood. Don't freak out, this is normal and not necessarily a sign of serious damage or tearing. After the first couple of times the cervix will get used to being opened and there will be less blood (but still a little) and a whole lot of pleasure.

If you don't do it that deep regularly (almost nightly), the cervix will get tight again and you've got to pretty much start over. Let it do that from time to time. Best way to keep long term damage or infection away is too ease off for a week or two at regular intervals and let the pussy heal up.

The same stuff that gets a girl wet and ready is what you need for getting through the cervix. She has to be very relaxed and in a good state. It'll take a bit of force, but you don't ram straight through. You work your way in, pay attention to the girl.

Just trying to bulldoze in will hurt the girl, possibly quite seriously, and if you aren't both keeping clean even normal sex has a big risk factor.

I'm a big guy and made some mistakes with my first girlfriend that caused her a lot of pain. It wasn't fun for either of us. I've learned how to use it for mutual satisfaction after a lot of trial and error. Surprisingly difficult. One night stands never go well so contrary to popular belief, a big dick isn't a big help in that respect. I avoid one night stands because it rarely ends well if the girl isn't prepared.

Hope that helps.

>> No.33718527

Finished the bulk of it, Now all i have to do is tie it all together and polish it up. Any place in particular you want this to be posted?

>> No.33718551

Assuming you are referring to a story you've written because I can't be fucked to read the thread, slap it up,on,pastebin and link it here. If you want, you can add it to the smut index on 1d4chan

>> No.33718568

Cheers mate, I'll do that

>> No.33718578

>all this shit.

You can't penetrate the external os, idiot.

My source is that I've fucking tried on myself multiple times.

>> No.33718600

Wrote roughly two paragraphs for a birthday story, got sidetracked by listening to depressing comedians and playing Fallout. I have a job interview in about five four hours and I haven't slept yet. Great way to start the week.

>> No.33718634

Partial is probably preferable, unless /tg/ is more into bestiality than I thought.

>> No.33718637

>You can't penetrate the external os, idiot.
So my doctor is an idiot? Because she told me that's exactly what was going on after we panicked and took my girlfriend to the hospital.

Cervical penetration is possible. I'm deeply suspicious of anyone who claims it isn't after my many first hand experiences.

>> No.33718649

I'd prefer full to partial. Bestiality I can get behind, partial just goes into furry territory.

>> No.33718654

>Unless /tg/ is more into bestiality than I thought.
Funny you should say that.

>> No.33718675

You'd be surprised

>> No.33718710

Eh, wereanimals in half-human form are palatable, especially if they only transform during the action.

>> No.33718723

I'm honestly tired of the normal stuff like werewolves oland werecats and all the usual stuff. Just once, I'd like to see the main character of a story be a weregoose, or a weregiraffe

>> No.33718732

>constant porn spam on a blue board
Sure wish you didn't do this

>> No.33718767


or a wereokapi?

>> No.33718779

I think that cute wereanimals would be cute characters for childrens' books. You could market that.

>> No.33718785

The Lewd Tales of Cory the WereCoon?

>> No.33718802

No, not even lewd stuff.
I'm just saying like a story about a kid who is a werelamb would be pretty adorable or something.

>> No.33718818

Is that ND faggot banned yet?

>> No.33718881

>Hope that helps.

Great, now i have a new fetish.

>> No.33718883

I'm sorry, but you're a fucking lying sack of shit. First, the cervix isn't just one thing, it's like a hallway into the womb.

If you penetrated the external os, you would still have to penetrate the internal os, and there's no way to do that. The simple fact that you've had 'blood come out' should be cause for alarm. It's not a second hymen, it's a fucking sphincter, and if it loosens, you have multiple causes for concern, mainly fissures and thrombophlebitis, which can lead to cysts and septicemia. Hell, some women GET THAT SHIT WITHOUT FUCKING WITH THE CERVIX.

You're a goddamn retard.

>> No.33718896

> I have a job interview in about five four hours
Good luck!
What, is handholding too lewd for you?

>> No.33718922

>I'm sorry, but you're a fucking lying sack of shit
He's not though, its a little different for everyone, yes its near impossible and painful as shit and dangerous, but there are those rare few who can do it, just like those rare few who don't find it painful.

Also, don't ever think that what your body is like is what everyone elses is like, thats like saying everyone thinks the same, they don't and you'd be retarded for saying so.

>> No.33718958

On a macro scale, yes, everyone does think the same, and yes, everyone is exactly the same.

Genetic abnormalities are just mutations that will breed out or breed in, but I get what you're saying.

He's still fucking stupid for speaking about his girlfriend.

>> No.33718977

>He's still fucking stupid for speaking about his girlfriend.
The same could be said for your narrow minded ranting.

>> No.33719018

That was... damn.

That was incredibly intense.

>> No.33719037

Finally finished!


Plot: Stranded in a mountain cave during a blizzard, thee Equipe Mirage 5 team forget that they're soldier for one night and let their true feelings for each other flourish.

>> No.33719067

Sorry, using science is narrow minded?

What are you a democrat?

This is bait.

>> No.33719097

Mods said this shit is SFW, deal with it.

>> No.33719109

...bloody hell, my sentences are really long winded, and I gotta find a better word for "as".

>> No.33719195

Not bad. Short, fairly hot, to the point. Not familiar with the Mirage 5 setting or anything like that, but a few off-hand comments.

Genital words. Your diversity is good, but you should try to work on using them in the right context. As an example. slamming his dick into her "honey-pot" doesnt make a lot of sense. If he was eating her out or she was cumming violently, then that's a good time to use that phrase to reinforce the image.

Furthermore, it would be nice to know what the Dog Soldier is thinking. Some more buildup. Is the lust overtaking him? Some comments or thoughts about "can't control myself" or something would be good, as would a stronger reaction than "fucked senseless" from her, but I appreciate this is a quick sex scene, and doesn't need a great deal of characterisation.

Overall, not bad for a first attempt.

>> No.33719269

Thanks man, I'll remember that.

With Duroc, I was trying to go for a whole "Primal beast side taking over" kind of thing, but I can see where that flopped.

Also, forgot the image. Sorry about that.

>> No.33719446

I'm pretty sure that at this point his knot would pop her like a balloon.

giant wolfman on medium sized hot chick looks pretty hot though, I'll have to check this out.

>> No.33719501

Same. Gonna give this a read when I have the chance and give some feedback.

>> No.33719531

Cheers guys, I'll take any criticism I can take.

>> No.33719619

Guy is probably a virgin who's read too much hentai for his own good.

>> No.33719725

No problem, I'll read later on when I'm not busy with RPs and stuff.

It does seem interesting though, is he actually that big? Because she would need a lot of lube to take someone that powerful, or be tough enough to not break a hip just from his thrusting.

>> No.33719799

I'm guessing it's just a bit of general hentai physics.

>> No.33719815

It is called "Stop thinking so hard and just masturbate."

>> No.33719831


>> No.33719833

It helps that he's not a werewolf most of the time. Dog faces (what he is) only turn into dog warriors under times of great stress, (for instance, when sergeant duroc there jumps out of an airplane without a parachute).

Well, the game is influenced by a lot of animes (GitS, Appleseed, etc) so I guess it would also work in the hentai aspect as well. That's my reasoning and I'm sticking to it.

>> No.33719846

Well you can think hard when your penis isn't, for now just drain it.

>> No.33720839

>I vote in favour of partial or even full transformation.
If by full you mean hulking vaguely (or amazonian) humanoid she wolf bigger than he is, yes I'm up for that too

>> No.33721083

Pretty certain he means "full transformation" as in "this is a wolf, citizen", aka. bestiality

>> No.33721142

And I'm suddenly reminded I forgot something for Little Red.

>> No.33721212


Okay, Steve, that was nice, but seriously, if you want to use frenchspeak, find someone who actually speaks it somewhat, because it's so poor it's hilarious, and that's probably not what you're going for.

>> No.33721242

Yeah...I had to use google translator for it all. Err...I take it you speak French? If so, can you translate what I think I wanted to write?

>> No.33721244

It's so bad that I thought it was hilariously bad even though I haven't taken French since middle school.

>> No.33721272


Yeah, I can do that. Post what you wanted to say, and I'll give it a go.

>> No.33721277

This is why I restricted myself to just occasional words when I got the idea of adding Russian to the new character in Group Research. I knew GTranslate wouldn't be able to cover all the intricacies of the language properly.

>> No.33721296

To be perfectly honest so long as you keep your language reasonably straightforward you could probably translate better manually what with modern web services for this shit. Most European languages don't differ too much in terms of grammar, and there's a fuckton of words that are basically identical as well.

>> No.33721322

Cheers mate, just gimme a moment...

Merde - shit
oui -yes
oh je veux faire l’amour avec toi - oh I want to make love to you
Faire l'amour pour moi IMMÉDIATEMENT! - I want you to fuck me RIGHT NOW!

Sorry about this, I only know a bit of Italian and a lot of fun words in other languages

>> No.33721326

To be honest, if the guy is decent at English, the only French words should be involuntary: cursing and in the throws of sex.

>> No.33721346

True. I just wanted to throw that in because they're supposed to be part of the space french faction of Infinity.

>> No.33721384

Well, the first two are right. The latter two... well, "oh" should probably be more of an "ah" for accent reasons, the rest feels kind of sterile and there's probably a more colloquial way of saying it. The last line I'm pretty sure says "Make love for me IMMEDIATELY" so there's a grammar cock up, but then I haven't done any French since I was about 15 and I wasn't paying attention even at the time.

>> No.33721390

Poirot speak does not make it seem more French. If they're Space!French, then everything they're saying is in French and being translated into English for our benefit.

>> No.33721405


Not a problem:
>Merde - shit
Is correct, but here it depends on the context, as "merde" has a negative meaning in French. If you want an expression similar to the english "Holy Shit!", then "Oh, Putain!" is closer.

>oh je veux faire l’amour avec toi - oh I want to make love to you
"Oh, je veux te faire l'amour", or "Oh, je veux te baiser!" if you want a cruder/vulgar version.

>Faire l'amour pour moi IMMÉDIATEMENT! - I want you to fuck me RIGHT NOW!
"Baises-moi IMMEDIATEMENT!", or alternatively "Sautes-moi IMMEDIATEMENT!"

Then, there's the sentence:
>Viens m’enculer, that’s huge!

now, "Viens m'enculer" means "come take me in the ass", I'm not certain that's what you want to say. And even then, should it be the case; "Encules-moi" is the correct term.

>> No.33721416

I'd allow using words like "merde" and "oui/non", but only because they're either widely known or obvious from context

>> No.33721446

>Viens m'enculer

If I had to guess, that's an attempt at translating "bugger me" which is colloquially used much like "holy shit"

>> No.33721461

Cheers mate, I'll get to work on changing them. These clogged sinuses are gonna keep me up all night so I want thi storyperfect! yay flu!

>> No.33721466

Pretty much how all of MGS 3 is everyone pretty much speaking Russian the whole time.

>> No.33721479

I know what he meant but I know what I'd prefer

>> No.33721522

Depends on the type werewolf he uses. Some just turn into regular wolves and others are the bipedal furry tanks.

>> No.33721537

You're right, must have missed one

>> No.33721552

Well in that case, you probably want "putain" for that as per >>33721405

>> No.33721580

Fixed. anyting else I can improve on?

>> No.33721613

On a similar note I'd say don't even bother trying to write accented English unless you want to go through hours of suffering and agony trying to get it right. Just make a mention of the accent and leave at that.

>> No.33721636

Accents don't really work well in written format. Just going this character speaking in a heavy/light French accent said etc before you right that character's dialogue works well enough.

>> No.33721656


>> No.33721659


Nah, it's a nice short fic!

>> No.33721676

>writing accented English
Indeed, therein lies the path to madness.

>> No.33721688

If you really really want your tiefling to have a Scottish accent you better be prepared to suffer for it.

>> No.33721702


Ach, laddie...yer daft!

>> No.33721748

Goddamnit Annah, I thought i left you at sigil

Also requesting Annah and/or Fall From Grace smut

>> No.33721879

I see to recall someone (I think Greenmarine?) redoing all the daemonette pictures. Was a Khornette one ever posted?

>> No.33721889

Well, we do have DLFG (who is from Scotland IIRC) writing about a Tiefling. Does that count?

>> No.33721923

>Still looking at a picture cute made

Why can't I stop?

>> No.33721925

I don't think she even bothers with the accents. Although I have admittedly not checked out the later parts and just the first one that she wrote.

>> No.33721946


Keys made Slaanesh and Khorne:

>> No.33721958

Which pic?

>> No.33721987

Cultist Chan with waffles. It's the face that does it.

>> No.33722090


>DLFG writes said stories while dressed up as Annah

>and doing the accent

Hello boner. Where'd you come from?

>> No.33722118

No, her characters just use English.

>> No.33722238

Page 10 now. See you all next week, and with any luck I'll have something to show for it.

>> No.33722239

Yeah I figured as much.

Also have some random robutts just because I'm in a good mood despite having a lousy day at work. (Might be because there is a Lego Ecto-1 right beside me waiting to be built. Maybe.)

And some extra robot related that may or may not be to people's liking.

>> No.33722290

What was the most recent entry into the littlest nymph series? I feel like there was one a week ago that I missed.

>> No.33722391

That's it. I'm done. This is too much.

>> No.33722585


>> No.33722673


Now I know what to ask DLFG next weekend anyway

>> No.33722686

Scottish, correct.

I've never described Ireela's accent, but I've always imagined it (along with Kristoff's, and other similarly backwoodsy types) as being slightly Slavic/Eastern European, for some reason.

Well, if we ever do an updated version of the /wst/ artists and writers picture, we know what to do for me, then.

>> No.33722699



I used to be indifferent to the weekend ending, but now I've got something to look forward to come Friday and it's just...ugh.

>> No.33722706

Which is pretty much the same accent that made me instantly adore the Female Monk in Diablo 3 as well as the Draenei.

>> No.33722751


Oh god, are you my twin? Female monk in D3 was pure sex.

>> No.33722757

Oh - Guardsman Steve. I mentioned earlier (while anon) that I'd look your story over and give some feedback. I've not had a chance to do so yet, and if the thread 404's before I do, then I'll try and comment on it in next week's threads.

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