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[ERROR] No.32422645 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Why are you angry about elves?

>> No.32422675

ruined my masonry apparently.

>> No.32422679

Is this a continuation of that slutty elf/noble orc comic? If so where the hell is this thing posting.

>> No.32422688

Because I know the next scene is not sexual

>> No.32422693

Okay so in Japan, "elf" can mean "vagina".
And "orc" can mean "penis".

>> No.32422708

I'm not, particularly. Elves are fairly cool.

>> No.32422713

Because they are the biggest, dirtiest sluts and yet still act all hih and mighty when you're not jackhammering their orfices.

>> No.32422719

You realise that makes you an elf, right? That wall is an elven construction.

>> No.32422731

Can't say I mind them too much.

>> No.32422733 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 

>> No.32422752

>I hate them because they dont like me but I still want to touch them with my penis
You sound like that Eliot kid what shot up a bunch of folks. Most anons who bitch about elves do, in fact.

>> No.32422754

From this image her boobs are clearly much bigger then her hips. If her front half got through all she would have to do is roll in a circle through.

>> No.32422779

No, and the comic is korean

>> No.32422785

Here's the rest of it.

>> No.32422789

I don't have a problem with elves.

Usually I have a problem with humans in fantasy settings. I hate "HUMANS ARE AVERAGE AT EVERYTHING, THEY DO EVERYTHING OK".

>> No.32422806

Boobs dont have bones in them. Also she is just faking it for Mr. Orc, who aint having none of that shit. The very next page has her getting pulled through with no issue.

>> No.32422837

talkin physics in an elf thread, you my digga

>> No.32422857

In all honesty I'm fairly ambivalent about elves.

>> No.32422862

Outside porn where fuck elves show any slut ways?
And drows doesn't count

>> No.32422864

I wanna fuck that carbuncle

howd you represent humans in a setting? not trolling, genuinely curious

>> No.32422882

I really dislike when humans are treated as the ultimate generalists. It's also annoying when they happen to be the most populous because of it.

>> No.32422921

>what is a joke

If this discussion actually needs to be serious, I particularly have a distaste for elves because I had that one DM who was riding that slender cock so hard it was nausiating.

They were always fucking right, every single instance. It was not just them being distanced and cold because of their age, they were downright bragging and irritating. And because of DM fiat, every time they were right.

They were unraidable because of super strong defenses, which I can fucking accept because they got their ass handled to them in the backstory before, so they got paranoid.

But then they just attacked their neighbours willy-nilly over some artifact. And won without breaking a sweat. Despite that said country had best horsemen on the whole world and 90% of their terrain is flatlands.

This is why I am angry about elves.

>> No.32422945

>>what is a joke
Something that didnt go stale six years ago.

But enough talk, have at you!

>> No.32422963


I like humans as the powerful physical warrior type people.
(Final Fantasy XIV's Highlander Hyur fit this bill. The Midlanders also represent a spiritual, in-harmony-with-nature type. There's no average race in Eorzea.)

>> No.32422966

Bah. Just a bunch of holier-than-thou hippies who won't share their trees with us and think being quick adapters is a character flaw.

>> No.32422973

so......did some wood elves wreck your knights' shit at a tourney or something?

>> No.32422990

I was angry at you enough to make this but now I'm not really angry and I'm only posting it because you aren't correct.

>> No.32422995

I run elves in my setting as anime characters.

Humans come out of typical Tolkienesque western fantasies with speeches about heroism and defending your country.

Elves are exaggerated characters with wide eyes and fantastic hair that power through obstacles with strength of will and friendship.

>> No.32423001

Drows are just elves that have stopped pretending.

>> No.32423002

Nope. High elves errywhere, as knights, mages, spies and shit. Better than our entire team and always ready to brag like a sixteen year old girl despite the fact they are always noted to be OLD AND DIGNIFIED.

Luckily the game didn't last for long.

>> No.32423005


Because Elves hate all I love...

>> No.32423059

I thought it was the gnomes who were actively genocidal towards kobolds, not the elves.

>> No.32423083 [DELETED] 

all I love...
Furries and ellipses?

>> No.32423091

I could see that, sub races representing societal differences could work

>inb4 redguards stole my wagon

>> No.32423092

They're not American enough. They squat in my woods like a bunch of fifth column socialists biding their time. If I only had the guns I'd send them all back to...I don't know, Tirnanog or wherever the fuck it is they come from/

>> No.32423104


can anybody tell me what the name of this comic is or where to find it?

>> No.32423113

same here

>> No.32423114

damn sucks man

>> No.32423144

Fuck, I thought I saved it. The first one is genuinely hilarious /r/ing this too

>> No.32423152

Read the rest of the thread you fucking human scum.

>> No.32423168

your googlefu is weak sons


>> No.32423196

What are you talking about, elves love sausages.

>> No.32423295


>> No.32423407

>le meymeys

>> No.32423412

I still don't get the stuck in wall thing.

>> No.32423429


Well elves are not on the enemy list,, but
-most kobolds lawful evil - neutral
-Elves are xenophobic
-Things like killing kobolds for no reason

Unless one of you elves wants to be my friend?

>> No.32423438

She's pretending to be stuck in the wall, and therefore easy to rape.
It's a Japanese thing.

>> No.32423469

She made a hole in the wall, crawled halfway trough and pretended to be stuck in the hopes orc bro would take advantage of her.

>> No.32423478


>> No.32423499

I don't know, I think it'd be pretty difficult to rape this elf regardless of her position. Can't rape the willing, after all.

>> No.32423500

No, but we don't live in the same habitat, so who cares. You stay in your hole in the ground, and us mirkwooders will stay in our NATURE MADE hole in the ground that did not involve dwarven contractors in any way.

>> No.32423512

Why would I hate elves? The coolest fantasy character ever is technically a variety of elf, and therefore they are awesome by relation.

>> No.32423542


>> No.32423587

Nah, he's fully human. Just old, and elf-looking.

>> No.32423824


>> No.32423977

I'm not angry at elves. I'm angry at writers who are too lazy not to use elves and their ilk.

>> No.32424068


>> No.32424076


I do parody, which means using other people's shit is kinda required.

>> No.32424173

>Fully human

>> No.32424194


Isn't he a telepathic dwarf basically being controlled by his sword?

>> No.32424233

So, will we have a thread about orcs being nice with elves?

>> No.32424336

No one wants to fuck elves more than I do

>> No.32424356

>Why are you angry about elves?

Sexual frustration. Her I am, the supreme gentleman, and all these slutty elves keep throwing themselves at orcs.

>> No.32424502

Because elves embody everything fa/tg/uys hate about themselves. Except hippy tendencies, and even that might apply to some.

>> No.32424592

Telepathic crippled dwarf, yes.

>> No.32424630

If not even landwhales and hamplanets are willing to take you tiny neckbeard cock I doubt that elven maidens would. Start washing and lose at least 30kg, and you might have a chance with human ones.

>> No.32424651

And Tyrion is an out-of-shape semi-crippled dwarf who lost part of his face. People still think he's cool.

>> No.32424671

If I lost 30kg I would die

>> No.32424688

>Liking Drizz't


>> No.32424713

I've got digestive issues.
Upside: Can't get fat.
Downside: Can't eat any candy manufactured in America.

>> No.32424791

I think you might have posted this on the wrong board. You and your edges can leave if you're going to be like that.

>> No.32424842

Stop taking the bait you fags.

>> No.32424862

Skelly here, check your fleshy privilege.

>> No.32424975

I don't think anyone was mad, but chiding people isn't a bad thing. If you respond to trolls with polite reminders of their misconduct they learn it won't get them anywhere.

>> No.32424981

Grumpy Orc is adorable.

>> No.32425006

I'm not.
A bit scared, yeah, but that has more to do with the heavily armed elf that's taken up residence on my lawn than anything else.
By the way, anyone know how to get dragon brains out of cotton robes? Semi-related.

>> No.32425031


I ain't got no feels.

>> No.32425094

Trolls do it for attention, any kind. Report and hide/ignore.

>> No.32425130

>They were unraidable because of super strong defenses, which I can fucking accept because they got their ass handled to them in the backstory before, so they got paranoid.
>But then they just attacked their neighbours willy-nilly over some artifact. And won without breaking a sweat. Despite that said country had best horsemen on the whole world and 90% of their terrain is flatlands.
>Better than our entire team and always ready to brag like a sixteen year old girl despite the fact they are always noted to be OLD AND DIGNIFIED.
Funny, this sounds exactly like how /tg/ does dwarves.

>> No.32425168

I loved the Dark Elf trilogy. Icewind Dale Trilogy was ok and everything after that was pretty forgettable. It definitely wasn't bad.

>> No.32425183

I liked the way the humes in Crystal Chronicles were just down-to-earth farmers. Sure they were still the all-rounders of the setting, but it sort of made sense with their backstory, at least. After all, raising a farm takes all sorts of various skills to do.

They were also the only ones who realized shields might be useful in combat and aint just for bitches.

>> No.32425211

I remember some thread on /tg/ discussing how elves were basically forest dwelling Jojo characters surrounded by drab, normal humans.

>> No.32425222

Truth, I plan on using something like this the next time I create a character.

>> No.32425226

Youre fucking retarded, its gnomes and dwarves who hate kobolds. Elves are too busy with orcs to care about your fagtarded scalefaggotry.

>> No.32425297

Deflects incoming attacks with a swipe
Read about him in a book
Interesting/dapper fighting style
Zazzy pivots and dodges
Zero tolerance for bugbears.
Twin scimitars cut swathes through the night
Dangerous lava caves
Ovations he receives for his heroic deeds
Utilizes sommersaults to block attacks
Ricochet with a bow or arrow
Destruct all goblins but not for racism
Enigma of few words
Never stops helping friends and peasants

>> No.32425313

>Things like killing kobolds for no reason
>killing kobolds for no reason
>no reason
There is every reason to kill those scaly little faggots. They murder children with glee and love to kill and eat miners. Worse yet, they try to bring dragons into the region so they can suck its draconic dick all day long. They are a blight to be eradicated, not people.

>> No.32425329

but I like jojo characters

>> No.32425355

Its better than Game of Thrones. Or that hack Terry Pratchett

>> No.32425413

Then you probably like elves. Both are insanely fabulous and long lived superhumans with ridiculous lineages that leave lady and lad alike swooning in their wake, after all.

>> No.32425431

Most jojo characters die rather young

>> No.32425437

Yup! Skeletons are definitely the best things ever! Way better than fleshy humans.

Please help! There's a skeleton inside me right now!

>> No.32425442

That is exactly how I run elves

>> No.32425466

Its a bit of a wash. You either die young or live for a long, long time.

>> No.32425472

We're everywhere, you know. Inside everyone you know, and their closets too.

>> No.32425473

Does it make me gay?

>> No.32425503

Only if you are sexually attracted to male elves.

Which you probably are

Which is totally okay

>> No.32425510

Anything with elves in it becomes porn.

>> No.32425519

though most die young. I can think of maybe three that lived to old age

>> No.32425522


Implying people are not a blight to be eradicated.

>> No.32425539

Well, if you like the women as well, then it only makes you bisexual. If not, then yes, it does make you gay. Not that there's anything wrong with any of that, of course.

>> No.32425552

I usually represent humans as being resilient and single minded due to the whole endurance predator thing. Also they spread everywhere they can.

>> No.32425600


>I represent all humans as this single, ludicrously simplistic thing

You're a creative one. Simple's fine though.

>> No.32425606

It's not gay if it's an elf.

And it'd be fine if it was.

>> No.32425632

I hate hippies... but I still don't hate elves as default...

Maybe I'm just not fat or elegant enough...

>> No.32425697

To be fair, I don't actively dislike elves. But I don't like them a lot neither. What you say sounds cool, but that's not how they're portrayed. In fact, they're normally portrayed very seriously, and for example in warhammer fantasy they're probably the race with less comical stuff (not counting dark elves here).

Also, what makes jojo characters fabulousness so cool is that they're all big manly man. That's the opposite of what elves are. The attitude of jojo characters fits more with orcs wanting to show they're the stronger boys in the mob.

>> No.32425728

Not if the elf has has a femenine penis

>> No.32425743

>warhammer elves
>not fabulous as fuck
Their fantasty queen is decked out in goddamn hearts for fucks sake.
>That's the opposite of what elves are
Elves were all angular and manly as fuck until Japan turned them into bishonens.

>> No.32425762

Nah, that's not manly. I want my marvel muscles back.

>> No.32425822

In mine they're charismatic negotiators, diplomats, merchants, and sometimes pimps and prostitutes.

>> No.32425828

Just because I only felt like posting the core aspect doesn't mean that is all the thought I put into it.

>> No.32425851

There's a fetish where a chick is stuck in a wall so you can molest her without fear of repercussion. /d/ can help you out if you're interested. She set up a wall in an attempt to seduce the ork.

>> No.32425853

Drizzit is largely hated because he inspired the "cg drow" everyone was playing as for a while.

>> No.32425871

In mine, humans are pretty much the only important race. Other races are normally better than humans in some things. Or everything.

>> No.32425881


>> No.32425923

>Someone wants to play as a drow
>I say ok sure here is the template
>They complain that the template isn't strong enough (The same as a normal elf as far as stat mods, but still having rightful drow magic abilities)
>I tell them to deal with it
>They turn in their sheet
>I tell them that they need to go

>> No.32426023

To be fair, the template isn't strong enough because of the LA, but that's just because LA sucks all the dick.
I just want my LE Drow wizard plotting to unite the underdark in hatred of the surfacers.

>> No.32426230

>You realise that makes you an elf, right?
>that feel when you never noticed you were an elf before

this changes so many things

>> No.32426271

Playing a lawful evil drow was hard, but I did it before. He didn't last very long before he died, but he stayed true to his character. Good luc

>> No.32426294

>only has the first chapter

>> No.32426307

I just figure I go all facist with it. Armbands and talks of unity so that they may CRUSH THE SURFACERS BENEATH THEIR IRON BOOTS.

>> No.32426317

I don't think you really can without a lewd elf or something similar as a foil.

>> No.32426330

Well i don't know about you but I really had issues with it because I refuse to play female characters. Drow priestesses are really stuck up cunts who put their noses everywhere

>> No.32426364

Yes, but wizards get some leeway because wizards, although I probably would need to get a chick to front the movement.

>> No.32426463

Enchanted armbands which tie you into a magical surveillance network and buff you by enhancing your natural drow greatness.

>> No.32426543

How's my elf?

>> No.32426569

From what I experienced with my campaign the best way of earning Lolth's favor is to try to take down her favorites, because she really likes to revel in the suffering of those who think they're safest. It's really just a balance of how much risk you're willing to take for the favor. That and how much pride you're willing to swallow to get a female to act as a figure head for you.

>> No.32426624

That should help because part of the characters thing is reorganizing the entire power structure.
(Can swallow a lot of pride, drow men have to swallow worse.)

>> No.32426652

needs more butter

>> No.32426718

What mod is that?

>> No.32426919


the last days of the thrid age

>> No.32426925

"reorganizing" heh

I would suggest trying to get the assistance of some non-drow allies. You really need someone that you can trust. Not sure how large of a racial divide exists in your campaign, but humans are generally pretty useful.

>> No.32426948

Of course it was an elven construction if a random skinny slut can make a hole this big in it! Should have hired a good dwarven mason to build that, tell ye what.

>> No.32426954



>> No.32426956

My character's entire thing is "death to the humans" so that'll probably be hard, but I might be able to find a Laval if I look hard enough.

>> No.32427027

But Geralt isn't an elf.

>> No.32427146

Counter point: JoJos are usually built like brick houses. Elves are not.
Why pose if you're not a 195cm tall muscle statue?

>> No.32427176


>> No.32427220

Was meant to quote
as well as

>> No.32427271

>not suggesting for your qtπ trap gf to be lewd elf
>not having a qtπ trap gf

>> No.32427781

>not being a qt trap who cosplays as her character for her GM bf

>> No.32427954

>JoJos are usually built like brick houses
Not in the later chapters

>> No.32427983

I'm hairier than the rest of the group. I think they'd stop letting me ever take Leadership if I started cosplaying as my trap cohorts.

>> No.32428037

That elf is adorably desperate.

>> No.32428173

The comic makes a lot more sense if you imagine she's a trap and the orc knows it.

>> No.32428194

.......fuck, that does work

>> No.32428196

How would he know?

>> No.32428283

That makes me harder.

>> No.32428399

>getting hard reading this

What are you some denial fetish guy?

>> No.32428458

>not being into denial
Every time a chick turns you down, you basically scored.

>> No.32428617

>not posting the other half with it

>> No.32428716

He can smell it

>> No.32428796

>delicious elf trap dick scent

>> No.32429043

How come I see more stupid may mays on /tg/ than on any other board? For the love of god people here still use motivationals.

>> No.32429196

Dude, half of us are still trapped in the 90s.

>> No.32429223

I think you undershot that estimate a fair bit

>> No.32429287

So does the artist do actual porn?

>> No.32429321

What's wrong with motivationals? I mean sure, the market was flooded for a while there but it doesn't mean they're not still decent at times.

>> No.32429361

Steven Seagal? Can I use Steven Seagal as an adjective?

>> No.32429383

Theyre old and lame and they've gottent to the point where 50 year olds share them on facebok.

And they aren't funny.

>> No.32429430

And yet they're still an effective way of combining image and text. And they CAN be funny - humor derives as much from content as it does from delivery.

>> No.32429449

I'm more into the dedication aspect; she's wanting this Orc so badly that she tries everything. But now I'm imagining a dude who fell for the Orc so much that he changed his gender to try and win his affections, did so secretly, and the reason the Orc knows it's the same person is the scent and he's such a nice guy he won't shatter the poor girl's new identity of calling her out.

So she remains dedicated, body and mind, to her quest to win the Orc.

>> No.32429522

>they're not new and hip enough for me

>> No.32429603

Because some sodding pleb did the Comic Sans Font tier sin of not separating western Elves from Eastern ones.

Now we live in the distopian future where the term Drow, or Dark elf dare pertain to the inclusion of incredibly light blue skinned mostly eastern elves, and chocolate brown, and other variants with the actual Drow drowning in this sea pf eastern content without filter or separation, where the Ear size and angle are not tagged, and I am absolutely livid.

I want a full scale brown elf genocide done by the Drow as a holy crusade from Lolth Herself, fuck the brown girls chart of Delicious brown standard, fuck it to hell and back.

I can only hope for a comrade in arms to produce a Booru specifically for Drow, and in resistance and blasphemy to this Multi-elf-cultural race-mixing-grouping degeneracy proceed to take as many brown elfs he can find and Photoshop their eyes, hair and skin into the colors of a true native to the underdark in defiance to the plebian Chocolate loving surfacers.

>> No.32429699

You know basement-dwelling elves like the Drow would actually biologically have a pale complexion, right?

>> No.32429705

Goddammit, why did I chuckle?

>> No.32429716

Glimpses a bulge, knows what rainbow thigh-highs mean, notices there's no pads in her handbag, she doesn't pass, any number of ways.

>> No.32429731

>she doesn't pass
She's an elf. They pass even when they're not trying to•

>> No.32429775

Rainbow thigh highs are exclusive to traps now
Welp, time to buy a pair

>> No.32429827

>not posting additional chapters if they exist

>> No.32429851

Sometimes funny things are funny.

>> No.32429876

They're all in this thread now.

>> No.32429879


>> No.32429908


>> No.32429933


>> No.32429937

so I found, twas my mistake

>> No.32429939

Give me pictures of the Delicious brown standards you want shopped and I'll play around it.

>> No.32429945

Anon(s), you're not doing your case any favors right now.

>> No.32429979



LIVIN IN THE 90'S, 90'S, 90'S



>> No.32430025

We're so stuck in the 90s we still think Unknown Armies is cutting edge.

Seriously, someone send help.

>> No.32430042

Remember when you didn't have a PDF backup of every book?
Remember when your friend stole/spilled Dr. Pepper on your favorite one?

>> No.32430061

They did send help, we mistook it for Y2K

>> No.32430075

There are people that play GURPS, for Christ's sake.

>> No.32430092

I remember leaving my friend's book out in the rain.

>> No.32430098

Remember when certain people couldn't vote?

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

>> No.32430099

Get your fucking cheetoh hands away from my books, Mark

I swear to god if you covered another part of the treasure table with that shit I'll end you

>> No.32430107

I'm alright with elves.

>> No.32430462

git gud or die tryin

>> No.32430680


>> No.32430709


>> No.32430961

>And yet they're still an effective way of combining image and text.

You know what else can do that? 4chan posts.

>> No.32431051

Doesn't always have the same zing to it. It works both ways.

>> No.32431700


>> No.32431815

The man in gauze, the man in gauze!

>> No.32431823

In my setting, all the humans went extinct after they got out-fucked by the elves.

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