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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.31575642 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

This is how I lawful good

>> No.31575705

Don't you mean "ironically shitpost"?

>> No.31575714

This Is how I do big reveal

>> No.31575765

Rolled 32


They're definitely Lawful Evil. They have billions of pretty crabs imported every year just so they can kill them all.

>> No.31575996

This is how I inspire

>> No.31578587

This is how I +4 Strength

>> No.31578749

And they sit on those deer things knowing full well that their spines will shatter the instant they do. And, of course, they write horrible poetry just because every other being hates it

>> No.31578765

>+4 Str
mod overlords approve

>> No.31578843

This is how I lawful good

>> No.31578891

You can get banned for stating basic scientific facts?

>> No.31578919

No, but you can be banned for being an ass.

>> No.31578928

So it's the enforcing it in a game part that's considered objectionable?

>> No.31578945

There are no real rules about posting.
There are no real rules about the moderation either.

>> No.31578948

You must be fairly new to /tg/,

>> No.31578956

Yeah I've never really heard the full story about the whole -4 STR thing.

>> No.31578979

Someone was saying in their personal setting they give men +Str/Dex/Con/Int, and -Wis/Cha, while he gave women -Str and +Cha or some shit like that.
People said that was stupid.
Both sides being fucking stupid followed.

>> No.31578988

Something about women not being as physically strong as men on average.

>> No.31578992

No, it's just that posting that crap erupts into counter-productive shitstorms which is a good enough reason for me

>> No.31578995

Odds are it was the way he phrased it, in such a way as to be deliberately confrontational, which is basically trolling, which is bannable outside /b/.

>> No.31578996

But that's true.

Doesn't necessarily mean it has to be depicted in games though (it sure as hell isn't in other forms of media).

>> No.31579007

In DnD you can lift up to you heavy load over your head. This could be compared to an overhead press. The untrained overhead press for the average man is 75 pounds, which matches the 10 Str heavy load. For the average woman, it is 55ish, which corresponds to 6 strength. Note the difference.

>> No.31579016

Shouldn't it be -5 STR then?

>> No.31579025

Soz misread the 6 as a 5.

>> No.31579032

That's because /b/ is Trolling: the Board.

>> No.31579034

>> No.31579051

Actually, looking up the table, that's an min 8 strength for men. But something like this methodology was used for the original argument, don't remember what the exact metrics were.

>> No.31579066

Why did people get so butthurt about it though? It's not like it's part of any official ruleset and if someone wants to put in house rules that make the game more realistic while simultaneously seriously limiting the options of those who want to play female characters why is that anybody else's business?

Was feminism involved somehow?

>> No.31579073

According to this;


There's guys on /fit/ with 17 STR! Steamrolan in particular has a 220lb OHP

Also according to that, a Hill Giant has an OHP of 640lbs. Which is pretty damn strong, but still only a 140lbs more than what's been achieved by humans;


Then the Titans STR is just silly.

>> No.31579099

This is How I Nazi science

>> No.31579110

>Why did people get so butthurt about it though?
It's part of an overall trend of being unable to leave other people alone to enjoy things their own way.

Shit man, it's fiction we're dealing with. If people have no problem with other species and races of those species being portrayed as smarter/stronger/weaker/whatever I really see no reason to get butthurt over one gender getting different stats than the other.

>Was feminism involved somehow?
I doubt it. Tabletop games are still mostly a guy thing

>> No.31579118

Hm, going by 3.5, Hill Giants have 25 strength and are Large, so that's 800lbs * 2 , for 1600lbs.
And just in comparison, there it would require 16 strength to lift overhead 220lbs, though it would also manage more (230), due to limited granularity.

>> No.31579129

Many, many people have bickered and trolled over -4 without getting banned, or so I presume. It must've been an unusual situation.

Anyway, the issue that makes the whole -4 to strength thing stupid, is when it's applied to a game that gives halflings a -1 or -2 (depending on the edition of D&D). Further, we're talking about player characters, which aren't representative of the general population, and where we should balance fun over a rigid devotion to what we think is realistic. If nothing else, female PCs could be a more select group (maybe the top 2% of women in terms of athletic abilities as opposed to the top 10% of men).

>> No.31579132

>his moustache didn't grow huge too

>> No.31579144

>> No.31579157

Sure it is. Why do you think women are generally finesse fighters?

Like what's her face in Iron Man 2, I think? The scene where she and the SHIELD guy show up and have to take out a hallway of mooks. She doesn't go in smashing like the Hulk. She busts out a series of awesome but highly efficient stunt moves that minimizes the importance of her relative lack of upper body strength.

Video games usually just go the "men have higher Strength, women are better at magic" route, though. Final Fantasy Tactics and Phantasy Star Online are good examples. Male or female is as important as your race selection in many games. Personally, I don't see why it's such a big deal that we're a sexually dimorphic race and even evolve to specialize in our environments over generations. We're good at different things. Who knew? But people get offended as soon as you say one race/gender/whatever is proficient in anything, because it automatically implies deficiency in that area on everything that isn't them. And god knows nobody can ever be disadvantaged due to anything outside of their control, no siree.

It's pretty dumb. I don't think games _need_ that level of realism, but I don't get people who get mad over people incorporating it, either. It's just at thing you can have or not.

>> No.31579163

Converting strength scores into maximum lifts and so forth doesn't work very well. D&D was never designed with this sort of thing in mind. And keep in mind that in some editions, a halfling with the same strength as a human has a lower weight limit. So obviously size is a factor too.

>> No.31579169

Aren't ability scores exponential, too? That complicates things.

>> No.31579200

Once we start looking at attribute checks, everything completely falls apart, especially if we're going with new school D&D where such checks are made on the basis of modifiers rather than your raw attribute score. So you end up with a guy with 18 strength who has a 25% chance to fail a strength check that a guy with 8 strength has a 50/50 chance to make.

>> No.31579910

>all boards
Now that's just plain too far

>> No.31580260

This is how I lawful evil

>> No.31580300

>not punishing him according by law
this is weak evil aka limp-dick evil

>> No.31580338

Are you retarded?

>> No.31580380

not as much as you are, weak evil guy

>> No.31580428

The rule is:

[maximum overhead press] ∝ 4^(STR/10)

>> No.31580430

>Posts image in hopes to give his post significance.
>"That'll teach 'im!"
>"ur stupid!"
Wow, you totally showed your intelligence with that post. Fucking ironic.

>> No.31580459

This is how I nefarious villain.

>> No.31580928

This is how I druid

>> No.31580944 [SPOILER] 

This is how I "Magical Realm"

>> No.31580986

This is how I lawful neutral

>> No.31581000

holy fuck, get that shit out of here anon, this is a blue board.

>> No.31581012

This is how I Chaotic Neutral

>> No.31581020

Sound Evil to me.

>> No.31581034

Clearly you've never been around a paladin before.

>> No.31581049

>Don't you mean "ironically shitpost"?
What, just because OP makes the same thread with the same image and only changes the "This is how I" part, that makes it sh-

Oh wait, yeah, that does make it shitposting.

>> No.31581053

chaotic evil

betrayal goes agaisnt code of honor and loyalty so def not lawful

lieing is an act of evil

>paladins also lie
thats why lawful good is also called lawful stupid

>> No.31581057

This is how I neutral good

>> No.31581059

this is how i animal companion

>> No.31581065

You sick fuck

>> No.31581079

>betrayal goes agaisnt code of honor
There's only one code of honor? What if my code of honor is simply "Do not fight those who are defenseless or weak"?

>> No.31581092

This is how I GM.

>> No.31581093

This is how I paladin

>> No.31581097

Lying can be (arguably) considered neutral in some cases, so called "white lies" that are not used for one's gain but to "protect" the others from unpleasant facts.

>> No.31581106

You really need to let go man.

>> No.31581124

This is how I magical girl

>> No.31581128

>> No.31581131

see >>31581065

Meanwhile: This is how I Wild Shape.

>> No.31581142

>Rapist chasing children through a dungeon but they hid from him
>can't seem to find them
>askes the jailed paladin where they are
>to uphold his honor he tells the truth

>> No.31581169

>tfw finally got Rebellion BD rip
>tfw can't watch it in peace because Easter family reunion
Magical Girls, being a fan is suffering.

This is how I SCIENCE!

>> No.31581186

This is how I cleric

>> No.31581193

But that's an actual magical girl, anon.

The whole joke is that you compare two unlike things based on their similarity.

This is how I Factotum.

>> No.31581199

>There's only one code of honor?
Well, there's also code of the other honor, but we don't really talk about it.

>> No.31581202

This is how I quest giver NPC

>> No.31581227

This is how I wizard

>> No.31581240

That's funny, this is how I quest giver npc

>> No.31581255

This is how I PC.

>> No.31581261

This is how I Technocratic Union

>> No.31581292

This is how I oracle of correspondence

>> No.31581308

This is how I PC party

>> No.31581323

he could have stayed silent, like a paladin. why is he even talking to this rapist scum?
so you can betray people, steal, destroy other people property and be one honorable motherfucker ?

>> No.31581335

This is how I Mage dating a Changeling

>> No.31581352

Yes, honor is subjective. It always has been.

>> No.31581374

This is how I Geist

>> No.31581393


Bard, Rouge, Fighter, Wizard, Berserker

>> No.31581397

This is how I hunter

>> No.31581410

>honor is subjective
thanks for reminding me that i am on /tg/

>> No.31581414

Who is the bald guy and the girl in the middle? I recognize Edd, Jimmy Neutron, Dexter, Velma, and the Test sisters, but who are the other two?

>> No.31581444

Number One of Kids Next Door and Daria of... Daria.

>> No.31581454

This is how I play campaigns.

>> No.31581462

mine's better

>> No.31581471

This is how I Chaotic Neutral

>> No.31581474

This is how I nWoD Armory

>> No.31581494


That's how I fallen Paladin

>> No.31581495

Sweden, what the hell.
That's like something the world's most passive-aggressive psychopath would come up with.

>> No.31581496

Strange, that's how I Street Samurai

>> No.31581497


>> No.31581525

This is how I Neutral Evil

>> No.31581532

bard, fighter, rogue, cleric, nigger

>> No.31581539


And that's how I Champion of Khorne

>> No.31581545

That's how I Two Weapon Guard Soldier in FantasyCraft.

I call it the I'M FUCKING INVINCIBLE build.

>> No.31581551

This is how I Mage: the Ascension

>> No.31581554

This is how I do cameos

>> No.31581579

This is how I Star Wars Saga

>> No.31581585 [SPOILER] 

This is how I Magical Realm

>> No.31581597

This is how I Street Samurai

>> No.31581600

This is how I True Necromancer

>> No.31581621

This is how I ranger

>> No.31581627

This is how I Sense Motive and Intimidate.

>> No.31581629

This is how I lawful neutral ruler

>> No.31581636


It's a 'shop
But if it gets popular enough, I reckon they would do it as a gag gift.

If you like that, I read a story on bizarre CO punishments in the army.
Apparently one poor soldier was meant to stand in front of a mirror and shout (pointing at himself) "I'm not an idiot-" (pointing at reflection) "You're an idiot!!" for a long time. An hour later he was apparently broken down in tears.

>> No.31581646

This is how I disguise

>> No.31581656

This is how I 6 INT Barbarian

>> No.31581668

This is how I level 5 party encounter

>> No.31581688

This is how I DM CoC

>> No.31581707


Is... is that a Half-Gnome?

>> No.31581708

This is how I Monk

>> No.31581716

This is how I downtime

>> No.31581722

This is how I DM CoC

>> No.31581731

This is how I get items to the PC's mid-dungeon or in transit.

>this motherfucker is everywhere you need him.

>> No.31581749

This is how I XCOM

>> No.31581752


>> No.31581776

This is how I setting

>> No.31581790

This is how I sci-fi

>> No.31581797

This is how I Call of Cthulhu

>> No.31581801

This is how I DM

>> No.31581805

dear god, I heard it was bad, but jesus fuck

>> No.31581823

This is how I Shadowrun

>> No.31581832

This is how I surrender

>> No.31581845

>crowd walks around corner
>car comes flying through one second later
did they died

>> No.31581873

Which ones the mage.

>> No.31581911

X - 7 = 19 + X
X = 27 + X or X -27 = X
0 = 27 or -27 = 0

>> No.31581917

Why have I never thought of this.

>> No.31581918

this is how I half-orc

>> No.31581933

>Rapist chasing children through a dungeon but they hid from him
>can't seem to find them
>askes the jailed paladin where they are
>to uphold his honor he crushes the rapist's skull with his bare hands.

>> No.31581974

>x=13 or -13
your move

>> No.31581979

This is how I Changing Breeds

>> No.31581983

>this is how I get items to the PC's mid-dungeon or in transit
>not this guy

Oh shit what are you doing

>> No.31581996

The one holding the cellphone.

>> No.31581998

Why did it eat my picture

>> No.31582014

This is how I anti-hero

>> No.31582026

>he crushes the rapist's skull with his bare hands
>able to get out of imprisonment ever
Clearly you have never played a paladin. They are not very strong, nor particularly good at their job. Crusader's are better at being the archetypal paladin (or can be at any rate) while still being effective characters. Moreover, a Crusader would likely be able to escape his magical binds and the enchanted cell he is bound in with a few applications of Mountain Hammer.

>> No.31582032

was meant for

>> No.31582046

>DnD Paladin

The last game I played with a paladin, (not Dnd), had him beating the BBEG to death with a wagon.

>> No.31582054

This is how I roll for piloting

>> No.31582057

>crushing skulls
They have trouble killing blackguards. I really hope the aforementioned rapist isn't a good class because if so, he is going to get his shit slapped.

>> No.31582076

Must have been a pathetic BBEG to ever get into melee range of someone. Not to mention dying by a wagon. Wagons don't really do that much damage on their own, even with a presumable 20+ str score.

>> No.31582090

This is how I hunter

>> No.31582114

This is how I Primary Villain

>> No.31582119

This is how I cleric

>> No.31582136

Oh fuck my life I'm retarded. I didn't see the "(Not Dnd)" there. I'm sorry.

>> No.31582140


> Lay on hands with BREEEEEEECK

>> No.31582171

This is how I Scion of Hades

>> No.31582180



Thanks to this man, every NPC Cleric in my games answers tricky questions with "Well, that would be an ecumenical matter".

>> No.31582206

This is how I neutral good Necromancer/fighter

>> No.31582214

This is how I Deathwatch

>> No.31582228

This is how I BBEG

>> No.31582233

The BBEG was kind of Pathetic. I mean he didn't even survive one combat.

Although, I don't think the GM was planning on him getting a metal re-enforced war-wagon to the face, thrown by a guy on top of the city walls, a half a football field away.

>> No.31582236

>This is my fetish

>> No.31582261

This s how I claim the throne

>> No.31582262

this is how I Rogue Trader

>> No.31582263

>Wagons don't really do that much damage on their own, even with a presumable 20+ str score.

See this is why Dnd is shit. Greatsword damage > 1.5 ton projectile.

>> No.31582273


>> No.31582300

Well really, if you can beat the Big Bad of your story with an average greatsword OR a wagon he probably isn't that big of a deal in the first place.

>> No.31582315

This is how I Sister of Battle

>> No.31582359

This is how I warrior

>> No.31582374

First, there is a chart for damage due to a crash, fall, or object falling on you (based on distance fallen and the weight of the moving objects); you and the object deal equal amounts of damage to each other.

Second, unless the BBEG can press the wagon, he'll be pinned under it as he would a cave-in, avalanche, or other rubble.

Third, I read:
>beating the BBEG to death with a wagon.
nowhere did I see:
>1.5 ton projectile


>> No.31582391

This is how I Only War

>> No.31582399

>This is how I Sister of Battle

>> No.31582407

That is fucked up.

>> No.31582410

This is how I compensate for class restriction

>> No.31582423

Man, what does it say about D&D that the very idea of a melee BBEG is pathetic?

>> No.31582429

This is how I chaotic evil.

>> No.31582436

This is how I paladin.

>> No.31582447


because magazine safeties are apparently cool now

>> No.31582448

This is how I random encounter

>> No.31582483

I built a fukking sailor, fuck this land shit.

>> No.31582490

This is how I counterinsurgency

>> No.31582527

This is how I paladin (long story)

>> No.31582545

>that fucking movie
Good taste sir.

>> No.31582701

>a girl and a guy holding hands
>everyone stares at them

>> No.31582766

Apparently its the puppet they used during filming

>> No.31582870

this is how i sneak attack

>> No.31582880

Fucking. Genius.

In terms of sheer mindfuck you've got to give it to the military.

>> No.31583083

into the trash

>> No.31583211

>Paying for a mount

>> No.31583264

this is how i enthrall

>> No.31583268

This is how I desert from Imperial Guard.

>> No.31583270

This is how we disguise.

>> No.31583277

>Was feminism involved
This was before tumblr and sjw were things.

>> No.31583291

>It must've been an unusual situation.
Yeah, a mod was there.

>> No.31583380

This is how I Neutral Evil.

Blast. I've already posted the image I wanted to use this month. I must avoid spamming on /tg/.

>> No.31583397

Fun fact: Lone is a woman's name in Scandinavian countries.

>> No.31583410

... I watched that entire thing.

>> No.31583417

This is how I gunslinger

>> No.31583432

I have to know. Is this hentai, or just manga?

>> No.31583452

Is that what's-her-name, the temporary female Robin? Or is this during Bruce's adventures through TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

>> No.31583479

That's Knight and Squire, the Batman and Robin of England.

>> No.31583506

>dwarf has helmet and big-ass pack by his chair
>ranger-looking chick at least has a bag
>which chick has fucking nothing

>> No.31583529

This is how I rogue

>> No.31583537


Those aren't Batman and Robin, they're the Limey Equivalent Heroes Knight and Squire.

Who have it better than Batman and Robin because that Knight is actually the original Squire who took on the job after the first Knight died, and nobody pitched a bitch-fit over it.

>> No.31583565

>> No.31583568

it seems we have a wizard in linkin' park

>> No.31583629

>using a mount

>> No.31583631

portable hole folded and stored into her hat

>> No.31583652

>But something like this methodology was used for the original argument, don't remember what the exact metrics were.
Originally it was just a troll rather than serious because it makes women weaker than male gnomes and halflings.

>> No.31583656

This is how I Chaotic Neutral

>> No.31583658


Hentai and it call Bust Shot Honey. That are currently two chapters.

>> No.31583698

>that third post
It would be interesting if it were in any way true. Sadly, it is not.

>> No.31583720

What, just tucked into her hat brim? Why not sew it into the hat itself, so she can pull shit out of it?

>> No.31583722

Lawful neutral at best anon, they do a lot of shit just to be dicks.

>> No.31583729

One in the pipe. /k/ approves.

>> No.31583742

Because then if she puts her hat on, everything in it will fall on her head.

>> No.31583767

So enchant it such that everything inside levitates.

>> No.31583776

This is how I Chaotic Evil.

>> No.31583832

This is how I Neutral Evil

>> No.31583850

Or just make the dwarf carry shit.

>> No.31583890

Clearly you've been playing paladins incorrectly.

>> No.31583911

....that ranger looking chick isn't a chick.

>> No.31583916

/fit/ here, I OHP 120kg which is ~260lbs what's my strength? I'd really like to know

>> No.31583947

This is how I Neutral Good

>> No.31583963

At least he was polite enough to placing it on the ground without breaking it.

>> No.31583966

There's no kill like overkill.

>> No.31583975

Nah, he's talking about 3.x paladins. I can confirm for you that they are shit-tier as far as classes go. Better to just play another divine powered class with melee options and call it a paladin.

>> No.31584060

This is how I home base

>> No.31584132

>choosing your class based on "free horse!"

>> No.31584137

alignments are silly because everyone is true neutral

shades of grey and all that jazz

>> No.31584141

this is how I setting

>> No.31584158

19/20 would play with

>> No.31584163

Loved him in that movie. So damn uncompromising.

>> No.31584187

Sure it is.

For instance - I am arranged to marry a barely pubescent princess, and ordered to conceive for our families' honour.

I run the fuck away because pedophilia and rape do not strike me as honourable.

Questions? Comments?

>> No.31584216

Means prepubescence.
I seriously doubt she is unwilling, given it's her family's honor too.

>> No.31584271


I think we need to have a talk. Sit down. Why don't you just sit down over there?

>No seriously I can't believe you're arguing this

>> No.31584282

Where do you think you are?

>> No.31584291

Well'p. Forgot my image. Better kill myself because I'm such a faggot, right?

>> No.31584318

Thought I was on /tg/, not /b/ circa 2008. You realize those days are as dead as Snacks, right?

>> No.31584319

Too bad he's Lawful Neutral

>> No.31584329

Where do you think you are?

>> No.31584342

It would depend on what you and your society consider "honor" to be. If you're in a society where such things are not expressly forbidden then your chickening out of an arranged marriage could be considered anywhere from cowardly to outright betrayal of your family.

It's all relative really.

However, for brevity's sake, it would be an honorable choice by modern standards.

>> No.31584357

So yeah, we agree. Honour is relative.

>> No.31584368

wait, what is nazimod was snacks?

>> No.31584377

Your mom's house.

>> No.31584385

Oh burn

>> No.31584415

Lawful Neutral?

>> No.31584436


>> No.31584504

Just barely over the max for 17 in 3.5 (going by the kgs, 260lbs is the max), ADnD had degrees of measure above 18 and between 19, which that falls into the first of.

>> No.31584530

Nope, lawful good. He is punishing the wicked after all.

>> No.31584659

This is how I epic fighter

>> No.31584704


>> No.31585082

This is how I Barbarian Santa

>> No.31585111

Not the one that polymorphed itself?

>> No.31585142

There should be an epic-level feat or daily/stance that allows a super mode for fighters where the grow more arms to multiweild more magic weapons.

>> No.31585209

This is how I BBEG.

>> No.31585267

Right in there with senses advanced enough that the rules dictate the GM should hand over the campaign notes in the Immortals Handbook. Well, it's actually just a permanent proficiency in wielding more swords than you have arms, but whatever.

>> No.31585285


Just use a modified permanent Girallon's Blessing (3.0 version) combined with Multiweapon Fighting (ideally 3.0 version, so you can Perfect it).

>> No.31585320

Wasn't it called like "three-weapon fighting" or something? It was like... one in each hand and one being juggled.

>> No.31585341

something like that, yeah, and I'm reasonably sure there were advanced forms for adding more swords.

>> No.31585391

I'm actually pretty sure it was just that. I recall that special Amidah class where you are the BEST SWORDSMAN ANYWHERE, the guy who has that role is a vampire who has mastered three weapon fighting and has three other swords that are everdancing.

>> No.31585478


Don't Forget, anyone can become a King of Demons. As long as hatred exists, in any world, at any time.

>> No.31585657


Though I wouldn't allow that in my games, I admit it sounds pretty cool.

>captcha: hast nicruli

Yes, Nicruli, make haste with those swords!

>> No.31585674

It worked on me.

>> No.31585801

They're all everdancing, he just grabs the three he wants to use this round for his full complement of attacks.

>> No.31585823

Right, right.

>> No.31585879


That film was too good for this sinful world.

>> No.31585949

>and one being juggled.
I like the One Piece way better.

>> No.31587563

I chose the Demon Lord path and got the "bad end" and finished there. I never properly beat the game.

>> No.31588537

This is how I bard


>> No.31589742

this is how I one weapon for entire campaign
>full auto rifle?
>anti-armour capacity?

>> No.31590398

>Thinking that the 3.5 paladin is all that matters.

Dude, my AD&D Paladin bathed the walls with the blood of demons that he smote by maul and chain. His mailed hands rested heavy on the shoulders of kings as a reminder of the limitations of their authority. When he fell, the church suffered a schism. And his redemption brought an end to a papal war.

Oh, and he totally had the bend bars / lift gates percentages necessary to break out of a crummy "magical cell".

He also outlived four party wizards, two clerics, and one half a bard (funny story)

>> No.31590585


When I was in basic, the XO ordered me to smile.

I proceeded to bear every single tooth in my mouth, you know, the psycho's smile? A lot too big, a lot too intense? Clicked my teeth when I talked too.

I smiled like that for the rest of the week.

I can't remember all the details, but absolutely NONE of the cadre liked the smile. Though because the XO had issued the order, none of them could countermand it.

Most fun i had during that week was during the jogs. I'm tall, with long legs, so I would just... kinda, walk, in time and pace, while smiling. Because I was tall, i was always in the front row, right behind the cadre.

They kept looking over their shoulders, and flinching.

Ahhh... basic... good times.

>> No.31590615

>public displays of affection

Ahh THERE'S the problem!

>> No.31590640

This is how I Ranger

>> No.31590669

Tell the funny story

>> No.31590992

>The Funny Story
>Or: How our Bard lost his level 14 special ability.

First off, you need to remember that this was a an AD&D game, being played by a group of highschoolers. So yeah, not high art, but utterly insane.

Our overarching plot involved a Demon-lord of the South-lands, whose armies of hellborn savage brutes were locked in a perpetual state of warfare against the border reaches, only satiated by innocent bloodshed and blah blah blah. Description over, get to the incedent.

We were following the AD&D rules of "everybody starts at 1st level.", which actually worked out pretty well. Lower level guys got more exp per fight, and us higher level guys (especially my paladin) had a vested interest in keeping PCs alive, because every innocent who fell increased the power of the Demon-Lord (I.e. Every time the GM killed a PC, he gave the guy's stats +1 each.)

So, we're diving into this underground passageway that an army of demons had emerged from, and, as is usually the case with Dungeons and dragons, it sprawls off into a labyrinthine maze of twisty corridors, all alike.

We've got the backup of about 100 soldiers following our party, and we're clearing this place SWAT-style. kick down the door, destroy all pockets of resistance, push forward. Up to this point, there were no serious losses. A few of the soldiers had been wounded, but our cleric saw to their safe evacuation from the dungeon. and my Paladin was eating most of the combat.

>> No.31591138


>> No.31591266

We had just finished purging a frog-god worshiping cult of Bog-men (not frog-men, bog-men. Plant-savages with vines for hair and venus flytrap mouths. I told you, insane), and were getting ready to move on, when our party Bard gets passed a note.

He had found a secret switch beside the idol while trying to pry out some gems.

The switch caused this frog-idol's mouth to swing open with a mighty "croak". This was awesome, because our GM could make a spot-on
bullfrog call, and it had us all broken down laughing around the table.

Anyway, studying the Frog-idol's mouth the inside was smooth, polished brass, slightly damp, and it appeared to be a slide.
And somewhere, deep down there, there was a little light.

Now, dungeon etiquette says "never split the party" and "never go off on your own". And we were well versed in these rules, but, in this case, the slide down the frog-idol's throat is too narrow for everyone to go at once, and we don't really know what's down there.

The Bard was our only party member who could use the ring of Telepathy to speak to us all (since he had "attuned" to it, and also because he was the only one who had managed to save against it's cursed "continuously broadcast all thoughts" effect.) so, he got fitted with a harness, and lowered down on 50' sections of rope all tied together.

after 20' the slide's angle sharply changed, and he was less sliding, more "freefalling"

So, naturally, his descent ended with a sudden jerk on the rope.

>> No.31591568

We told the GM that once the rope reached 50', we would stop it and let him get his bearings. We had also positioned our minis back from the frog-god's mouth by 10' (in case of trap)

So, at 40' into the hole, our Bard is dangling vertically over a small aperture into a strange lit space, about 15' circular, with a pitch black object in the center. Massive, and perfectly spherical.

Cue the worst decision of our Bard's life.

>"Lower me down a little, I want to see what this big black ball is"

So, we pay out a little more line, foot-by foot, carefully. And the bard attempts to step on what we are soon to learn is a sphere of annihilation.

Remember when I said we played fast and lose with the rules? Well, some GMs interpret a sphere of annihilation as being an immediate zapping of anything that touches it, 100% gone. Ours interpreted it as a meat slicer, only taking off everything that went into the sphere.

By the time our Bard realized his mistake, he was already bellybutton-deep in a sphere of annihilation. LUCKILY, his panicked thoughts caused us to stop lowering him, and start pulling him up.

he almost bled out on the way up, with the Sphere taking half his body (and by the GM imposing a loss of constitution and forced saving throws every inch of the way...) when he hit the mouth of the frog idol, he was at death's door, and we could only stabilize him.

Ultimately, he wound up in a kick-ass artificer's wheelchair that could over like Professor X's.

>> No.31591912

Seems you haven't had the epiphany yet, dearest anon.

>> No.31592333

This is how I hack electronics

>> No.31592553

Jin Roh the Wolf Brigade.

>> No.31592756

this is how I psyker.

>> No.31592827

This is how I techpriest.

How would you use the Old World Blues DLC for Dark Heresy?

>> No.31592854

This is how I new BBEG.
> inb4 tumbler
> implying I actually went to tumbler to get this

>> No.31593017


>> No.31593052


>> No.31593120

this is how I CoC

>> No.31593149

this is how I LARP.

>> No.31593182

>inb4 tumbler
>implying I actually went to tumbler to get this
'tis still bad practice to encourage the propagation of crippled tumblr gifs
be patriotic and use webm

>> No.31593360

You DO realize that until recently the normal age for a girl to be married was 14-16 right?
The whole "not an adult until 18-20" thing is incredibly recent
In general most societies consider a girl a woman the moment she has her period

>> No.31593767


Even without considering differing morals, the choice of having a 12 year old bride is significantly preferable to having no alliances or connections in a medieval society.

>> No.31593839

Never got that. If women have bonuses to charisma, why aren't women natural leaders?

>> No.31593915

How I offer the PCs a get out of death almost free card and add plot hooks.

>> No.31593973

Deal with a devil? He ressurects them at a price, the price being your plot device macguffin, etc.

>> No.31594371

pretty much, depends on why they died. if they died do to
> player stupidity
make a new character
>bad rolls
deal with the devil
> roleplaying correctly
deal with neutral deity
>I fucked up an encounter/ thatguy killed them
deal with good deity
>they were annoying and other players killed them
GTFO of my house, you can't play anymore.

>> No.31594610

No, it is explicitly stated that they are not evil

>> No.31594652

That's great

>> No.31594681

>I fucked up an encounter/ thatguy killed them
>deal with good deity
it takes a big man to admit when he fucked-up, I tip my hat to you.

>> No.31594696

Is that a critical success or a critical failure?

>> No.31594739


>> No.31594781

>Any of the sociopaths at Fox news.
>Neutral Good.

You don't really "get" altruism or goodness, do you?

>> No.31594855

This is how I Psyker

>> No.31594941


This is how I vampire with more cannibalism

>> No.31594966

Reminds me of that one time my DM ran a muppets-themed game of CoC.

>> No.31595258

This is how I controversy.

>> No.31595721

R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman, you were an amazing actor.

>> No.31596182

23, its the same point on a graph

>> No.31596263


>> No.31596597

That can't be your only problem with his "solution"

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