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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.31378147 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Rolled 6

Roll a d20. That is your stat across the board for a character you will portray in this thread.

Put a name in the name field so we can keep track of what you roll.

This is a meeting of adventurers talking about their last quest.

>> No.31378246

Me and three friends went to town yesterday. The town was weird because it was underground and filled with spiders. They promised there was ice cream, but I didn't see any. I kept falling down and the elf lady with us kept calling me ugly, but at least I didn't break any bones like I usually do when we go walking in towns.

I also didn't have to wear that heavy leather shirt like I did that one time. I should have used one though, because a spider bit my nipple and it grew really big.

They said I could get ice cream in the next town for sure though.

>> No.31378276

Rolled 2

Count me in

>> No.31378330



Cunt liek fire it burn but burn good and furry thing likes to squeezed by fire. It make my slippy hole feel weird like butter but no mind if I gargle the red pole. Feel itchy in neck hole after, but it hurt to scratch with dagger.

>> No.31378361

Rolled 11

I, too, seek Ice Cream.

>> No.31378407


>> No.31378435


Goodbye forever

>> No.31378450

Rolled 5


>> No.31378529

My Little Friend said big town had ice cream. It had big buildings and lots of people and pretty statues. When I look at pretty statutes and walk, I fall down a lot. Big Friend and Little Friend take me to Inn, they say I must take rats out of basement before I sleep. I don't like the basement 'cause it is dark and not tall and smells bad. The rats were big and mean and bit me and I ran away. Now I not sleep in Inn but with Lucky. Lucky is a horse. Lucky was my horse once before he kick me bad. Now I can't ride him no more. Little Friend said there was ice cream here. Where is my ice cream?

>> No.31378552

Rolled 8

I'm a wizard!

>> No.31378579

ITT: shit tier adventurers. Legendary in their shitness, really.

>> No.31378589

Rolled 17

Well then

>> No.31378603

>rolled highest so far in thread
>Named him the coward
>Obviously he is running from his responsibility.

>> No.31378606

Rolled 18

Guess what time it is!

>> No.31378634

Ice Cream time?

>> No.31378653

Time for Jolly Co-Operation?
Ok, You go distract the enemy while i do something else... over there.

>> No.31378664



>> No.31378676

Rolled 15

For queen and crown.

>> No.31378678 [SPOILER] 

>> No.31378696

Rolled 6

Lets see how it goes.

>> No.31378701

Rolled 10

I have the most legendary beard known to man!

>> No.31378702


>> No.31378705


Having enough of the bullshit that a local dragon was throwing down (stealing maidens, hoarding gold, etc) I decided to go beat his skull out of his asshole.

I figured it would be a good idea to bring some meat shields along and asked the local township for help, but they refused. So I flexed my pecks and after they got through cumming all over town square and the women folk got used to being pregnant instantly, we marched on the dragon's cave.

I called the scale-ridden bastard out and he munched on the towns folk on the way to meet me eye to eye. I slapped that fucker in the face so hard it knocked one of his eyeballs out of his socket which I promptly shoved up his ass so he could watch me kick the shit out of him.

After utter destroying the beast, I took all of his loot, fucked all of the women the dragon had abducted, and went to the more populous city nearby to live as a king.

>> No.31378721


>> No.31378736

Rolled 13

Perhaps this is a bad idea

>> No.31378743

Rolled 19


>> No.31378804

I see homosexuality is a route to power! Or perhaps you are but a member of the Fae?

>> No.31378829

Well, well. Looks like my little plan is coming to fruition! After fermenting a rebellion in this province for year by using my magic to slowly corrupt the local rulers, I can finally obtain the last component I need to achieve lichdom in all the chaos. Damn peasants, get out of my way! I must be off to create my immortality! Fireball!

>> No.31378866

The local populous of bumfucknowhereia had been plagued by goblins for any moons and were looking for a Brave and powerful knight to defend them and slay the goblin scourge.

Instead they got Clinton, a man who is foretold to be the favorite of the gods of fate, and the largest coward to ever venture out of their own home.

After much pleading from the local lords he was eventually convinced to try solve the problem by threatening to cut off his Goatee and punch him a lot.

While attempting to sneak into the Goblins lair he tripped and fell upon the main support beam for the Mine entrance, damaging it enough to start a cave-in. Clinton was well out of the cave and halfway back too town in a dead sprint long before the mine collapsed.


>> No.31379098

Rolled 20

Fight and Flight!

>> No.31379132


>> No.31379174

Go scavenge somewhere else, fowl.

>> No.31379214

Rolled 3


>> No.31379231

Let's do it

>> No.31379271

You put dice+1d20 in the email, not roll. *Sigh* This is why I should rule the plane, because it would make everything so much easier for me without incompetents around.

>> No.31379316

i mean, its even up there at the top of the board, word for word, how do you mess it up?

>> No.31379345

Say, you seem like a intelligent and capable fellow. How would you like a job? I am always hiring people to help run my imminent empire.

>> No.31379355

M-my bad, trying again.

>> No.31379389

And yet you fail yet again. Clinton, if you accept my offer, either show this fool the correct way of doing this simple task or kill him out right. Your immediate reward will be a tub of ice cream.

>> No.31379392

Rolled 11

try without capitals.

As long as i'm far from the fight or any sort of danger to my person i'm up for it.

>> No.31379397

Rolled 4

I think I'm not a very smart man

>> No.31379417

Good, now add a name so we know who your rolling up.

>> No.31379427

And behold, the dice reflect that statement! Now Clinton, what kind of ice cream do you want?

>> No.31379436

And I'd been hoping for a one.

"Now, now, don't be that way. We elites ought to stand together." The budgie hops over to a bowl of nuts and falls to with vigor. His beak atomizes them at the slightest crunch, clouding the bar with dust.

"Tell me, fellows, what lands have you travelled where they serve sterner stuff?"

>> No.31379443

Rolled 11

Grog get it right? Yaay! Grog get ice-cream now right? Grog good guy?

>> No.31379472

...got any mint choc-chip?

>> No.31379506

Rolled 11

>> No.31379518

My favorite! You and me Clinton, we shall go far...
As for you, Sir Bird, have you ever traveled to a plane called Earth? Some of the people there serve a beverage created from a potato and it is strong enough to stop a nation of crazed fatalists from slaughtering each other. It's called vodka.

>> No.31379531

I would like it hence forth known that all and any further attempts to find me out of my armor, or to remove said armor, shall result in immediate slaying.
'Tis good to see you again, Honored Bird.

>> No.31379623

Rolled 9

Now a funny thing happened during my last quest...

>> No.31379949

Heights of Heaven. A world where the people are driven to its making could do with my work.

... Have you kept any that you might share?

Avis, good Sister. You bear your burden well. What of that thief who was with you when I saw you last?

Have a bit of my bar suet and seed. You look peckish, poor thing.

>> No.31380038


>> No.31380053

Rolled 9

>Use dice correctly
>4chan being a shit
god damn it /tg/

>> No.31380124

Rolled 1


>> No.31380145

i am the alpha and omega

i am no. 1

>> No.31380156

Rolled 8

at you arn't an unwilling agent of the chaos gods unlike me, which keeps fucking muh number up.

>> No.31380161

Rolled 19

Heroes come from all sorts of places with all sorts of skills.

>> No.31380245

>> No.31380259

Im the bravest of all the heros here.

>> No.31380269

Braggart. I've thrice your humility.

>> No.31380287

Thrice nothing is still nothing.

>> No.31380301

He was... Rather put off when he found out my Order is not of only women. It seems that our mostly identical armor and customs caused the man some confusions.

But enough of that talk, I find myself traveling to the great Crystal Valleys soon. Has anyone here information on it? I seldom go so far south.

>> No.31380303

You wound me sir.

>> No.31380558

Man or woman, the Order's pauldrons are fine shelter. A detail overlooked by taller folk.

It's a dazzling place you're headed. Beautiful by starlight, but you'll be camping in a thick tent while the sun is up.

>> No.31380586

Rolled 6

Why not

>> No.31382224

Rolled 6

15 or higher. 15 or higher. 15 or higher. 15 or higher.
Please. Please. Please.

>> No.31382242

On a tombstone in a graveyard on a mountain.

"Here Lies Nemean of The Golden Fist"
"Age 19"
"He thought he could when he could not."

>> No.31382253

Rolled 10

I want either a 1, or a 20.

>> No.31382260

Rolled 89

Wait, what?

>> No.31382265

And instead you got the middle.

>> No.31382270

Rolled 7

Hello gentlemen. Nice weather we're having.

>> No.31382307

Indeed. That means that I am an average human in most DnD settings.


>> No.31382344

Rolled 20

I thought it was a female.

>> No.31382347


NPC guard, or NPC bandit.

>> No.31382383

Rolled 549

Let me show you how it's done.

>> No.31382418

Rolled 1672169693485448705


>> No.31382458

Rolled 3

Did somebody say, EYE SCREAM?! You pathetic gnats seek to combat my icey terror?!

>> No.31382463

HA! Second 20 in thread!

"....And then he cut off Little Sam, and I became known as "the d**kless man."

>> No.31382471


Well thats disappointing. I better send some minions at them instead.... any volunteers to be my minions?

>> No.31382505

Rolled 11, 7, 6, 8, 15, 7, 15, 1, 13, 9, 15, 14, 11, 7, 12, 19, 13, 2, 5, 1, 4, 14, 3, 1, 8 = 221

I think you need to go to your rooms boys.

>> No.31382521

Rolled 2739086457882773505

That.....wasn't what I rolled.

Let's try this again.

>> No.31383045

Rolled 14

*series of roars and vocal growls*

>> No.31383586

Rolled 14


>> No.31384070

Rolled 17

Sure, why not...

>> No.31384292

I have to make someone who is skilled? Fuck that noise.

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