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[ERROR] No.30839419 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Do Tech-priests ever start families and/or reproduce, or are they above such instincts/pursuits and simply draw new adepts from outside the priesthood?

>> No.30839468

>Do Tech-priests ever start families and/or reproduce
Not grimdark enough, so no.

>> No.30839513

Yes they do.

>> No.30839545


>> No.30839567


they might

>> No.30839571

Lies and Slander!!!

>> No.30839585

Man Tech-priest sex must be weird.

>> No.30839591

Most of the higher up don't but the lower level cult members do have families

see the Cain books

>> No.30839614 [SPOILER] 


>> No.30839642

Probably not, and past a certain level definitely not. They are members of a monastic order as strict and transhuman as the Space Marines.

Low level starting techpriests might still have a little bit of their base desire left, but they are inducted into the order (and survive the initial tests) because of purity of purpose.

securing knowledge is your fulfillment, the machines under your care your family.

>> No.30839645


>> No.30839675


>> No.30839676

They can have children, but they're vat-grown using the parent's genetic material. There's a father-daughter pair of tech-priests in the book Priests of Mars.

>> No.30839683

Tech-priests are Ukrainian?

>> No.30839812

>Cyborg nurseries
>not grimdark

Anyone remember the midwives from System Shock 2? Or this pic-related fucker from Blame!.

>> No.30839855

How can one forget both? Nobody.

>> No.30839884

If techpriests don't reproduce and have families, where does the AdMech recruit members from?

>> No.30839945

Lucky children of the members of the Cult Mechanicus who aren't Techpriests.

>> No.30839951

Then that would be civilized planets/Hive Worlds.

>> No.30839954


From any technologically-inclined human they can recruit from...

>> No.30839971

See I can imagine the timid Tech-priest stalking another Adept he's interested in based on above average actuary skills and apparently feminine name. He's cautious because it's hard to recognize a person's sex with all the augmentations.

Once he's reasonably certain his attraction interest is female, he may approach her and declare his interest in procreation. She will then take the time to look up records about him to verify their compatibility and possibly consult a Magos Biologis.

If she responds in the affirmative, they get together one evening and construct machines like >>30839614 together. Then they place samples of their sperm/egg cells (they usually have some frozen before they have the organs producing them removed/replaced) in the machines representing their respective sexes. Then, in accordance with ritual, they happily watch the machines coupling together until fertilization occurs, whereupon they take out the zygote and send it off to be vat-grown.

Their union concluded, they move on with their work.

>> No.30839979

Depends on the culture. There's that guy in the Dalia Cytheria book that was born natrually and came with all kinds of defects becuase his parents lived in an iradiated wasteland.
Indoctronated normally. A lot of new adepts come from the Schola Progenium, some choose to join, some are forced to join, same as where everyone comes from really. When a man and a woman love the Emperor verrrrrry much, they venerate him in a very special way...

>> No.30839989

Yeah, why bother with the whole marriage or family thing, plan for your eventual inevitable biological systems failure by cloning yourself and then raising said clone to inherit all your memories when you 1.0 becomes obsolete.
All hail the new flesh.

>> No.30840041


Genetor plz.

>> No.30840062

Going to the local scholam and taking all the train enthusiasts, people who like doing math problems, and autists who do not fall under the previously mentioned categories
More kidnapping

>> No.30840072


Children do need their rest.

>> No.30840151

Do they at least hold mechadendrites as they watch the machines coupling?

>> No.30840253

Anon, you just gave me the strangest erection...

>> No.30840299

The answer to any question about Imperium culture is still:


Every way of living you can conceivably imagine, they do somewhere. Including the ones that are blatantly heretical; those get caught eventually, but by the time the authorities put a stop to it, people in some nation-sized part of some other planet have already been doing it for 200 years.

Homosexuality is forbidden in some places, mandatory in some places, ignored in some places. Some factions of the AdMech have fairly normal families, some mass-produce clones, some don't reproduce at all and have to recruit from outside the AdMech, some entire forgeworlds follow exacting pairing and breeding schedules laid down by the Master Eugenicist. Some techpriests think sex is a disgusting expression of fleshy weakness, some think it is a glorious expression of the human greatness. Many techpriests lose their sexual urges entirely as they replace their meaty bits with glorious metal, but some others have those metal bits simulate and ENHANCE their libidos, so that they might experience ecstatic "communion" with machines and each other.

And lots of them just have cybersex on the datanet. When you have neural implants, it can be pretty good.

>> No.30840445

>> No.30840467

If they're kinky.

>> No.30840472

Nothing in canon to my knowledge says they only reproduce that way. iirc there's at least 1 canon reference to a pair that have twins hte old fashioned way

>> No.30840849


>> No.30840920


...PrudeAnon, why must you ruin everything?!

...What's up with her optics?

...Do you even MechaLewd?

>any techpriests lose their sexual urges entirely as they replace their meaty bits with glorious metal, but some others have those metal bits simulate and ENHANCE their libidos, so that they might experience ecstatic "communion" with machines and each other.
>And lots of them just have cybersex on the datanet. When you have neural implants, it can be pretty good.
Muh Anon!

>> No.30840992

>...Do you even MechaLewd?

But that was very lewd.

>> No.30841147

why is that SoB so shocked?

>> No.30841207

She ain't shocked, but curious. The Techpriest on the other hand didn't remove his other brain parts with a Logic Engine. That's why he's so nervous...cute girls make men nervous.

>> No.30841221

It's the flame from his welding torch. She's entranced.

>> No.30841247

Hey guys!
What's going on in this thread?

>> No.30841304

I estimate a 96% chance that this is a rhetorical question.

>> No.30841316

Talking about if Techpriests can be romantic and are capable of having families.

>> No.30841320


>> No.30841330

>What's going on in this thread?

>> No.30841349

>> No.30841440


>> No.30841515


>> No.30841544

Old but still funny.


>> No.30841681

>Let's name him Xi-Zeta 68, it's such cute name!

>> No.30841741

>> No.30841764


>> No.30841803

Golden Answer of 40k: Too many to know, so it depends.

>> No.30841826

The DOF isn't that great to be honest.

>> No.30841903

Adorable in a horrifying way.

>> No.30841905


>> No.30842688

Some do. In Priests of Mars one of the high-ish level techpriests has a daughter. The story behind that is that he wanted a protégé to train but didn't want to just choose from the available acolytes so he cloned himself. However due to a one in some arbitrarily high number chance the clone's chromosomes turned out different resulting in it being a girl. Instead of the simple master and apprentice relationship he was expecting the techpriest came to care deeply for his daughter and had her brain enhanced at "birth" so that she would one day surpass him.
It's really sweet.

>> No.30842900

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THAT KID FOUND A STC FORT. Quick, name it after him and give him fifty planets!

>> No.30842978

In the old fluff salamanders had kid

>> No.30842997

Such cuteness.... we must respond with overwhelming DAWWWW.

>> No.30843133


>> No.30844137

When in doubt, Descartes out.

>> No.30844160


Never forget.

>> No.30844214

>> No.30844307




>> No.30844318

>> No.30844338

Oakyy mista khorn

>> No.30844372


>> No.30844380

>> No.30844437

>> No.30844447

>> No.30844477


>> No.30844514

Techmom is best mom.

Dem hips. Dat smile.
I love how the dad is just a brain in a jar, too.

>> No.30844557


Yes they do. It is canon and has several examples. While many can turn off their emotions and desires they do indulge.

The whole point of the Aug's and shit is so that humans never become irrelevant. Or that WHAT IT IS to be human isn't entirely lost. One of my favorite Tech-Priest couples (although short lived in the context of the novel KNOW NO FEAR) had this notion fore in their minds and loved one another.

Prepare yourself to praise the omnissiah OP, cause mechanicus sex is very canon.

>> No.30844584

>> No.30844604

>> No.30844620

Think of what she could do to you with the force of her power legs

>> No.30844624

She wants you to insert your usb stick.

>> No.30844632

>mechanicus sex is very canon

>> No.30844688

Why would they want to waste their intellect by not reproducing?

The flesh might be replaced, but even the mechanical mind must have a strong foundation.

>> No.30844693 [SPOILER] 


>> No.30844725

>> No.30844745

>three ports

>> No.30844753

>mechanicus sex is very canon.
Only in the books, which are dogshit half the time and bullshit the other. Really though, it never says they don't and thanks to the way 40K is set up, if there's no hard rule against it, you can include it.

Hell, make your SoBs praise the Emprah by having steamy, oily lesbian orgies or some shit where they don't fall to Slaanesh since they are only thinking of the Big E's Big D, that shit makes about as much sense as a Commissar being able to move faster than a genestealer or an ork becoming best frenemies with a human.

>> No.30844787

But according to the Orks codex, there defiantly are humans that join ork tribes, often as advisors, so frenemies does make sense

>> No.30844797


>> No.30844812


>> No.30844819

one thing that is consistent among most of the fluff, is that for the Imperial Cult, there is very little consistency among planets.

Provided they
1) worship the emperor
2) give psykers to the black ships
3) hate chaos and xenos
Pretty much anything goes.
In an FFG book (and I prefer FFG cannon to GW 99% of the time), they even say that human sacrifices are allowed, because religions that are willing to sacrifice people are more likely to give up psykers to the black ships.

>> No.30844820

Asking a weedy humie what other weedy humies might do in this situation so you can better kill the weedy humies you're facing is way fucking different from an ork loving a human so goddamn much he disallows any other orks from even thinking about killing him.

Don't get me wrong, Yarrick, Ghazzy, and Armageddon in general is rad as fuck, but it's also fucking ridiculous.

>> No.30844862

Cult of the Machine is NOT the Imperial Cult, though, and they're also better connected.

Which isn't to say they don't argue about Cult minutiae. In fact, I think GW referenced some confusion over Admech robe colors since red was supposed to only be for those sent out to war and when people kept pointing out how GW kept making ALL Admech robes red, GW just said "fuck it, certain subfactions of the Mechanicus might have different robe schemes and will even argue about it from time to time".

>> No.30844887

>> No.30844942

true, the Cult of the Machine is far more concerned about uniformity than the Imperial Cult.
But, imho that probably applies mainly to the relation to the machine. Everything else (such as mating) is probably where they let different chapters disagree, because they're too busy arguing about the proper method of applying sacrificed oils to a lascannon.

>> No.30844953

>> No.30844963

Like I said, they are willing to squabble about fucking robe colors for fucks sake. So long as pumping out spawn or replicating the act doesn't impede you from your duties, you're probably free to do as you please. Giving in to base, fleshy desires might be looked down upon, but unless you start humping any other toaster but your own, I doubt they'll burn you at the stake for it.

>> No.30844970

>make your SoBs praise the Emprah by having steamy, oily lesbian orgies

>> No.30844976


Look bro you can be mad that you don't get 100,000% grimdark at all times, but that's because you don't understand how fucking narrative works. You need light to make the shadows darker you need levity to later horrify. In fact the darkest stories are a descent into darkness, look at your obsession with the Horus Heresy.

Humans are still humans in 40k and that means there can be bright character moments. The end.

Mama Mechanicus still loves you; you cranky machine spirit.

>> No.30845020

so we basically agree.
I was just trying to distingush between "disagreements that lead to accusations of heresy and possibly a crusade" and "disagreements that lead to lengthy speeches that no one outside of the order will ever listen to (and most inside the order also won't care about)"

>> No.30845042

>> No.30845053

This makes me think of a silly scenario for some reason
>Local sect only allows very specific robe sizes, which are either comically oversized or three sizes too small.
>Constant arguments at all levels citing over a dozen treatises and dogmatic texts in almost every known machine language over what sizes are appropriate
>Spend weeks passive-aggressively designing and implementing complex mechadendrite system to hold up robes so you don't trip over them, while still appearing to be a regulation size.

>> No.30845067

I think you vastly misread that post. I was basically saying "do whatever the fuck you want, unless it's something that is stated to be a hard negative like female space marines, you can get away with pretty much whatever in 40K". It's not like you're gonna be more ridiculous or contradictory than the official BL publications, what with shit like their entirely undevoted SoB canonesses doing coke off some lucky/unlucky secretary's cock or whatever the fuck that one Cain novel went on about.
Yeah, pretty much. That one techpriest who likes to molest those felinid Guard ladies with his dendrites that are ribbed for their pleasure is probably seen as a complete fucking weirdo, but so long as he fucks -err, I mean "repairs" - the tank afterwards, he won't get much more than a lecture for it.

>> No.30845090

Imagine /tg/ and how they will pull up different little snippets of text that support only their side of argument and then pitch them against other little snippets of text and then everyone argues about whose snippet is more canon and use things like author or publication as basis of judgement.

That's what I imagine AdMech doctrine wars are like.

>> No.30845200

>what with shit like their entirely undevoted SoB canonesses doing coke off some lucky/unlucky secretary's cock or whatever the fuck that one Cain novel went on about.
it's not nearly that bad (at least in the Cain novel). a loyal and faithful canoness has descrete relationship with a loyal administratum agent who works at the same place she does. The canoness gambles at one point (to get in on meeting to discuss the defense of the planet), but then donates here winnings.

The Cain books don't take themselves too seriously, but that's why I like them. Though the last several have only been okay, and the author needs to finish the damn Dark Heresy Trilogy already.

>> No.30845241

This post is worth remembering.

>> No.30845551

A Human in an Ork tribe is going to be subject to 24/7 amounts of low-level beatings because that is how Orks roll. They punch their own teeth out to buy soup and even if a humie can get by, some Dokboy will come by while they are sleeping and think they would be so much more choppa if they had mech arms. Cue humie screaming and bleeding out because ork tech don't work that way with humies

>> No.30845631

>Ork tech not working with humans
>Implying Ork tech works because of what the HUMAN thinks should work

>> No.30845681

Orks are fungus so lopping an arm off won't cause a blood fountain like humans

>> No.30846278

>Hell, make your SoBs praise the Emprah by having steamy, oily lesbian orgies or some shit where they don't fall to Slaanesh since they are only thinking of the Big E's Big D, that shit makes about as much sense as a Commissar being able to move faster than a genestealer or an ork becoming best frenemies with a human.
>they don't fall to Slaanesh since they are only thinking of the Big E's Big D

No, they don't fall to slaanesh because that would be retarded. To even rouse the attentions of demons you have to do all sorts of insane shit, or just be incredibly unlucky. People don't just act like sluts and suddenly the Prince of Excess shows up and demands your souls.

The idea that an orgy or two could be enough to fall is silly. You're so very nearly never going to accidentally into a chaos god.
Hell the closest thing I can actually think of regarding this is the short story/fluff piece about an ornate table which the owner becomes obsessed with rolling their hand over the engravings, eventually being driven insane and turns their body into demons. But it's been so long since I read it that might be fanwork.

>> No.30846345

Well, yeah, because that's how goes every non-violent theological / demagogical clash ever since the dawn of the mankind.

>> No.30846357

Fair enough, I just wanted to cut off Slaaneshfags at the head before they had time to wank on and on about lolfuta or whatevs like they always do whenever someone mentions something remotely lewd in relation to 40K

>> No.30846402


>> No.30846422

I know the story you're talking about. Inquisitor Thrax ran afoul of a daemon possessed table (iirc).

The daemon waits for people to let their guard down, then possesses them and makes them go on a killing spree.

Its not really obsession, and its not the strength of their emotions or whatever, its just a daemon that likes to camp.

>> No.30846785

Is that the girl from that Cain novel? The one with a Sentinel Powerlifter?

>> No.30846804

From the first two Realms of Chaos books published way the fuck back. First two had Khorne and Slannesh and the next one Nurgle and Tzeech

>> No.30846948

This is probably the first 50k artwork I've seen. I like it!

>> No.30847404

Pretty sure low-ranking admechs can reproduce and does so. High-ranking ones probably don't have the means to do so though.

most of them are converts

>> No.30847442


Where do you think Cherubs come from?

>> No.30847451

forgot image

>> No.30847456


>> No.30847694

Vitali Tychon

>> No.30847879

Yes, thank you.

In other news, this is how I tech-priest family planning:

>> No.30848505

but without admech families, where do we get adorable techprincesses from?!

>> No.30848632

So, would techpriests only reproduce with each other or not?

>> No.30848760

i wouldn't have thought there'd have been hard and fast rules, but when you see the beauty of the twin-cam subdermal optimizer or felt the harmony of a crew singing data-pack during manufactorum detail its difficult for people outside of mechanicus to understand you...

>> No.30850379

No they didn't, stop saying that.

>> No.30850835


>> No.30850900

They did adopt families though. And stayed with them for generations.

>> No.30851633

> ...PrudeAnon, why must you ruin everything?!
Yes, because everybody who says that a faction doesn't bonk must actually be the same guy.

>> No.30851656


>Dad is just a brain in a jar, smoking a pipe


>> No.30851671

"Oh Emperor, this take me back. I can still hear the dying screams of those awful heretic children as they burned to death... Such good, holy work!"

>> No.30851699


>> No.30851716

>You never be raised by Techmom and Jardad

>> No.30851801

I'd assume techpriests do reproduce in some fashion, at least early on, because if you were to take away all the best and brightest from a forge world's population and they never reproduce, your stock for future techpriests will worsen steadily in quality.

It would seem ideal that those selected to become techpriests, and particularly techpriests who reach high ranks, reproduce a lot so that their superior genetics will spread more and create a more intelligent overall population. Leading to better candidates for techpriests in the future.

>> No.30851909

Indeed it is, anon.

>> No.30851947

Compress dat shit. Not all of us have superwide monitors.

>> No.30852234

This needs to happen in my next DH campaign

>> No.30852319

>he even gave it a little purity seal he made himself

>> No.30852333

Usually I'd agree with you, but I am finding 'Soul Drinkers' Omnibus to be legitimately good, though not shake spear by a long shot. They actually manage to characterize space marines, tech priests, so on and so forth in ways that are both interesting and keeping with the established flavor of the setting. That said I've only read 3/4ths of the first book.

>> No.30852357

I thought that was supposed to be a little girl?

>> No.30852441

He looks like a scruffy little dude to me. Fort building is usually a male pursuit, too.

>> No.30852465

>yes and.jpg

>> No.30852534

Fort building is an activity for the whole family anon.

>> No.30852548

Then they need to read the book closer.

She's mentioned as wearing the RT style robes.

>> No.30852729

The best part is they would probably do something like that

>> No.30852735

I wonder if the world of 40k has sex toys and if it does, who produces them.

Imagine the Enginseer in charge of a Dildo Manufactorum.

>> No.30852775

He sells dicks and dick accessories.

>> No.30852777

>who produces them.
STCs, son. I bet somewhere on mars they have a template for the original dragon dildo.

>> No.30852801

>That Machine Spirit ain't right.

>> No.30852812

Now i want to play a rouge trader explorator who sells sex toys to necron lords

You did this to me /tg/

>> No.30852844

>40k has sex toys
I would suppose so bro. Considering we have found some from like fucking 6000 years ago.

>> No.30852848

>linking cables
On a similar note, SoB x Admech OTP

>> No.30852884

>Imagine the Enginseer in charge of a Dildo Manufactorum.
So, Ultramar?

>> No.30852890

One of them making a dildo sword?

>> No.30852935

Meanwhile on the Forge World of Gord.

>> No.30852936

Power Dildo

>> No.30853059


Freebootas hire themselves out to anyone who can pay them so orks and humans isn't that uncommon. Soldiers have sex with each other all the time so SoB gay sex isn't that strange a concept either.

If the commissar is a psyker, why not.

>> No.30853089

>In reality only one anon ever denies that any members of any faction cannot and/or do not reproduce
>He firmly believes that everyone in the 40k universe is sterile and/or asexual with no desires to have children.
As for techpreists having children this is how I always imagined it
>Techpreist wishes to procreate with a suitable member of the opposite sex
>Examines the records, genetic lineage, and work of various techpreists of the opposite sex
>When he or she finds an acceptable potential partner they mention their desire to reproduce
>If the other partner agrees they will have their sperm and eggs mixed to create any number of children (most have a few because they want to produce as many future techpreists as they can for the omnissiah), and once the embroys are fertilized they are placed in an artificial womb to be carried to term and "birthed."
>Upon their children reaching term the parents meet again to examine their children and potentially mark them for future interest (wanna teach your son to be a Magos Biologis like his old man when he is older)
>The children are raised in what amounts to massive nurseries/orphanages run by specialized techpreists (like a Schola Progenium with techpreists instead of Adeptus Sororitas as nuns) and unless they are marked generally become techpreists, skitarii, or manufactorum managers.
>Parents occasionally check up on their children who are marked, never actually letting their presence be known, simply making sure they are still showing potential.
>When a child who is marked comes of age he is met by his parent and expected to begin training to become a techpreist
>Once the child (now an adult) becomes a techpreist their parent takes them under their wing like an apprentice.

>> No.30853130

So basically like >>30839971 only less kinky.

>> No.30853151

>Techpreist wishes to procreate with a suitable member of the opposite sex
Who says they have to be of the opposite gender?

>> No.30853191

>Freebootas hire themselves out to anyone who can pay them so orks and humans isn't that uncommon.
Orks and humans working together isn't all that weird, it's when an ork values the company of a human over even other orks like Ghazgkhull does with Yarrick that things get improbable.
>Soldiers have sex with each other all the time so SoB gay sex isn't that strange a concept either.
SoBs aren't soldiers, though, they're hyper-indoctrinated religious zealots who think any time spent not worshiping, purging, or training for more purging later is borderline heretical since heresy grows from idleness, after all.
>If the commissar is a psyker, why not.
Cain isn't, though.

But like I said, don't let the improbability of your desired fluff stop you, since 40K is chock full of improbable/impractical bullshit.

>> No.30853229

Maybe I've been going to the wrong orgies but "idleness" is not the first word that comes to mind when I recall them.

>> No.30853248

Also, Big E presumably sees all, so they might justify it as putting on a show for him.

>> No.30853251

It's the idleness that leads to the orgies which are heresy since they distract you from worshiping and training, not the orgies themselves that are heretical

>> No.30853276

>not the orgies themselves that are heretical
Idle, rather. An idle orgy is just a book club.

>> No.30853290

i'd thinks some, not all but some, might take a more active interest earlier one.
Checking in on the artificial womb (like >>30841440 ), they let the expert manage it, but they like progress reports.
Giving there child lessons and tests earlier one, possibly letting them help with their more basic rituals and tasks, personally crafting their first augments.
A favored project, only biological.

The parents might also be partners who work together.

That's just on big forge worlds, in places with less Mechanicus presence (there are some Tech Priests on Imperial and even some Agri-worlds), the Techpriests probably have to take a more personal role in their raising. The kids probably start their devotion to the machine from the moment they develop basic fine motor control.

but again Millions of Worlds, so diversity happens.

>> No.30853304

What if there holy orgies? So much sacred oil every where

>> No.30853314

I wonder how the Sisters of Battle would react to the prospect of getting the D from a recovering Emperor.

Like if he telepathically contacted all of them and went








>> No.30853328

I always imagined synthetic sperm and eggs as some sort of dark technology by the mechanicus.

>> No.30853355

That's what I said in the beginning, Christ. For every improbable scenario in 40K, the setting is usually vast enough for you to justify it, how fucking retarded do you have to be to not get that?

Hell, even female space marines sort of exist, so long as you like Chaos mutations.

>> No.30853378


>>Not red with with cog-lace

...so what do the mechanicus wear under their robes, anyway?

>> No.30853388


>> No.30853390


>> No.30853394

why would you wear clothes under clothes? that makes no sense, you're already wearing clothes, if you needed more just make your robe thicker

>> No.30853396

Nothing, they've outgrown your primitive notions of modesty.

>> No.30853401

>> No.30853440

Remember that story of a Techpriest who was ordered to visit a Psyker every now and then?
I do.


>> No.30853462

>Horus bribes the mechanicum with great power , access to forbidden tech and 2 stc-s
>The two STC-s are actually for 2 models of dildos
Regulus's face when

>> No.30853477

shit this thread is heresy yo

>> No.30853522


I'm trying to imagine mechanicus flamewars.

It starts by flinging scrapcode and meme-macros at each other.

>>That really grinds my gears
>>Good luck i'm behind 900 skitarii
>>open this e-mail to receive a blueprint for a totally-STC extending vibro-phallus
>>You are this malatek
>>I was merely testing your logic-circuits, and was not intentionally posting gibberish in an attempt to confuse the debate.

>> No.30853612

Let us be "srs business" screaming faggots.

>> No.30853704

so grim and dark OMG

>> No.30854458

This thread has been glorious, thank you very much all who contributed. Let me express my gratitude to you all with a lewd and related video.


>> No.30854587

What the shit am I watching?

>> No.30854653

Is it just me or are Tech-priests the most universally liked part of 40k, at least on /tg/?

They don't get all that many threads or fans, but they don't seem to have haters at all.

>> No.30854865

Bjork being Bjork.

>> No.30854882

/tg/ likes anything it can self-insert into, and since Squats got nommed into irrelevance, that just leaves the cybernetic shutins.

>> No.30855004

>tfw you still think it looks cool even though its a joke.

>> No.30855032

The Squats were nommed years before /tg/ was created

>> No.30855060


She could be a fitting servant of the Emperor with that zeal and conviction.

>> No.30855064

Coolness and satire aren't mutually exclusive.

>> No.30855078

1. self-inserts.
2. the contradictions of the ad-mech are really, really funny. The whole "to perform the ritual of activation, anoint it with holy oil, light the incense, and press the "on" rune" is comedy gold.

it applies standard religious mystic trappings to a subject that's totally non-mystical to us.

>> No.30855285

>2. the contradictions of the ad-mech are really, really funny. The whole "to perform the ritual of activation, anoint it with holy oil, light the incense, and press the "on" rune" is comedy gold.
>it applies standard religious mystic trappings to a subject that's totally non-mystical to us.

It's both funny and interesting. I always liked ideas and stories involving the fall of civilization and resulting technological discontinuity*, and I consider the way it was done in 40k one of the best parts of the lore.

*Stuff like the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste repository - imagine a primitive human civilization 10k years from the fall of ours discovering a huge structure carved into a mountain, with ancient symbols and warnings written in forgotten languages. Even entering the place makes soon makes you die horribly for unknown reasons, as if it was a curse. Now that's something you could make a religion out of.

>> No.30855339

god damn it, we have been over this

>do they take recruits from outside
>do they star families
>do they have children
>do they love
yes....in their own way

>> No.30855346

how did the major survived into the 40k timeline?

>> No.30855462


Someone get the mods.

>> No.30855725

Depends on the given congregation in question and how far along the path to singularity with the machine the given Tech-Priest is. Lesser enginseers who do a minimum of "heavy lifting", i.e. they don't work in plasma reactors or macro-foundries could well look like the girl in the Cain novel "Death or Glory", of which a perhaps slightly over-cute rendition is here: >>30852548

She only had some augmetics and enough flesh left that a lecher like Cain became intimately familiar with her anatomy (Inquisitor Vail footnote: ew) and the only reason you'd really think she was an adherent to the Cult Mechanicus in the first place was the magical ability to make machines work + RAGE over Cain wanting to explode this huge dam to flood a zillion Orks out of a valley. "But it's a masterpiece of the Mechanicus!" To which Cain basically does dealwithit.jpg and has his Basilisks blow the thing open like a rotten fruit.

A heavily-augmented Magos who's replaced most of his flesh with armor and weapons and gear has likely removed the parts of his brain that he deems unimportant to replace them with memory coils and memrance enhancers that make him think faster, so anything erotic in the first place literally never crosses his mind. He probably got rid of his dangly bits too as part of a huge set of piston-actuated hips and legs so he can move faster and climb sheer vertical surfaces.

Basically, if you're a true believer in the Mechanicus, the whole idea is irrelevant because your mind is so far removed from a "normal" human condition that you think of yourself as a machine that's constantly being upgraded and improved and made more powerful.

>> No.30855745


See here

>> No.30855952

My Heretek has a "family." He considers the servo skull swarm that has wiped out multiple worlds at his volition to be closer than his biological parents ever were.

>> No.30856215

True for the most part, but it's often noted that higher ranking Magos have quirks.

Such as making their form more aesthetically pleasing/humanoid, or getting the best artificial voice they can lay their hands on, and then using it whenever the chance comes up.

It's best to just think of them as regular human beings in that regard. I mean, we must all know people who spend ridiculous amounts of money making a piece of technology look nice, or get a far better one than necessary.

It's not every human being, but a worthwhile proportion of us has obsessions. Not autism level obsession, but more a "I really like music, I'm going to spend thousands on high tech speaker system and use it whenever I have the chance." in this case a lot of people would be fine with a cheap-ish stereo system.

Think of that in Mechanicus terms. Lots of magos etc are fine with the nicely functioning leg augments. But there's your friend in dormitory-block 2B who spent all of his thrones buying those carbon-nanofibre covered things that are almost identical to fleshy legs with heating pads to replicate body heat, and servos that respond 2.65 microseconds faster than the common model.

>> No.30856354


That also. This also assumes you're dealing with someone like a Magos Ordinatos or a Wright-Magos who deals with heavy equipment. A Magos Biologis, or even better, a Genetor, will usually have less in the way of bionic augmetics and might even be entirely made of flesh - just it'll be various constructions grown in vats and surgically added or spliced in. After all, muscles and organs are a machine of sorts too, and it's not like you can't "upgrade" those...

The thing a lot of people lose track of in 40k is this overpowering grimdarkness that pervades everything is only really true on a macro level. There's plenty of perfectly nice and "normal" places in the Imperium to go along with all the horrendous shitholes, just the latter usually make better material for fiction. Kind of like real-world news reporting...

>> No.30856463

>Implying any watching Daemonettes wouldn't be sanctified by the PUREST LOVE!!!

>> No.30856511

You are right. (before someone jumps in and throws the grimdark quotes in here.)

But it's heavily class based, the better you are at doing XYZ, or the better the family you're born into, the better your life is.

I mean, a large proportion of 40k humans will work in 3rd world sweatshop conditions, which is pretty horrifying. But at the same time it's just as likely you'll just be working hard on an Agri-world, or serving on a space ship.

There are really shitty jobs in 40k, but you still have free time to be human. Well, most of the time.

>> No.30856560

>But at the same time it's just as likely you'll just be working hard on an Agri-world, or serving on a space ship.
One way or another it's backbreaking labor in a horrible society.

>> No.30856646


Depending on how the agri-world's run, you might have the best eats in the entire sector. Food on hive worlds tends to be super-processed stuff that sometimes doesn't even look edible at first glance because it has to travel long distances from where it's made and be resistant to pests and rot and all that. Meanwhile, if you're a vegetable farmer, things that some spire nobles can't even get are very literally growing on trees right in front of you.

>> No.30856647

Reproductive organs are not necessary in the pursuit of Omnissiah worship. Better to replace them with more practical tools that could prove more useful.
I have ideas for a story with a techpriestess who has done such, and has a relationship with an assassin who'd been castrated. Since they couldn't really do the sex, they'd just hold hands and do things together. The best part is they're both shy about it.

>> No.30856679

>you might have the best eats in the entire sector
In a hive you might have the best tech outside a forge world. Every world has its perks, it's still backbreaking labor.

>> No.30856700

Why the fuck would you castrate someone who you plan to have kill people? That's retarded.

>> No.30856703

Yeah, but most likely the work on agriworlds will be less back breaking. So much of it will be automated by necessity.

>> No.30856748

Well, depends largely on the local tech levels. Feudal and Knight worlds are often largely exporters of food, and the way they grow it is the old-fashioned "shit-smeared peasants working eighteen hour days" way.

>> No.30856766


Again, depends on the agri-world. Some will be farmed by hand by individual family farmers just like Earth in the pre-Industrial era, others will also be done by hand but in large collective farms where everyone works together, others still will use large machinery to plow, seed, and then harvest enormous fields. And those are just the agri-worlds where it's done on land - think of the aquatic ones where they're doing massive fishing and harvesting of marine plants.

>> No.30856782

To have children would give a reason for an assassin to call off a kill, in a hostage situation or something like that.
Or is it a stupid idea?

>> No.30856818

No one is talking about children. Testicles are where all the important hormones that make men capable killers come from, bro. Same reason they don't castrate space marines, because that would be retarded.

Testosterone is a vital thing for making a guy you want to kill dudes, bro. If he's sexually frustrated, so much the better.

>> No.30856823

Wait, is that supposed to be an aspergillum filled with holy water?

Gat dayum the machine cult has flavor

>> No.30856884

>filled with holy water
I meant filled with motor oil.

>> No.30856886


It's a censer filled with incense actually. Aspergillum are on sticks, censers are on chains (typically).

>> No.30856899

>> No.30856960

The classification for Agriworlds is 85+% of the surface is turned over to food production, and a population of around 15,000 to one million.

What you're describing are more like mu-class worlds which export food, not alpha-class worlds.

>> No.30856979

I don't know much about castration, though I knew it was a way to stop one from having children
Quite frankly, it's not a subject I think I should know much about.
Would some kind of chemical-based infertilization work?

>> No.30856986

Agri-worlds vastly vary, it interests me. It could even involve catching insect swarms with giant nets.

>> No.30857003

I'm sure there are ways to chemically suppress the sex drive in the grim dark future. See the Chem Geld talent.

>> No.30857150

Yeah, that would probably be pretty important. I mean just look at insect swarms in the US and imagine how awful they'd be if there was EVEN MORE arable land for them to try and feast on.

Plus Insects are full of all sorts of good things which can be used after they're ground into paste and exported.

>> No.30857200


Once it goes through some grimdark processing plant where they add nutrients and flavoring and enough preservatives so someone eating them wouldn't rot for weeks after death, any kind of protein-bearing animal would come out pretty similar...

>> No.30857584

>and flavoring
>wasting flavour on some hive scum

>> No.30857649


Prepackaged food comes in all sorts of quality - the low-grade shit that the hive proles living in crushing poverty eat probably tastes like plastic, while the stuff that adepts and guild workers eat probably isn't that bad at all.

>> No.30858041

>that adepts and guild workers
people seem to forget that almost every description of 40k has some sort of middle class.

Most worlds are very fat pyramid with massive amount of people doing backbreaking labor, a decent number of scribes, functionaries, servants, merchants, etc who live unusual but semi-decent lives, and a small number of ridiculously wealthy nobles.

>> No.30858208


Right. At least one book actually specifically mentions that the foundries on this one world have what's basically a unionized labor force (called a guild there) that's just as hilariously corrupt as real-world examples, but that the workers do eat pretty well for being in it.

>> No.30858476

They sort of have that in the RPG as well. The Lathesmasters (abhuman forge world proles, basically) have a guild/union system and have some guaranteed benefits and protections for their work.

>> No.30858537

Well of course the squats would have guilds.

>> No.30862809


It's cutest image i have seen in a long time

>> No.30862940

"Hush little servitor don't you fly, mother units going build you a thunderhawk."
"If that Thunderhawk doesn't purge, Mother units going to make you a Golden eye....."

>> No.30863030


>> No.30863240

>> No.30863308

>> No.30863338

>> No.30863667


>> No.30863716

Depends on the temple. Aren't Vindicares supposed to be calm-as-fuck "I'll camp out on this rock for 2 weeks without moving"? And the MURDERRAPERAGE one is pumped full of drugs anyway.

>> No.30863866

"Oh come one Jeb this is 'heretical incursion' stuff of yours is crazy, if you keep going on the way you are nothing but inquisitor shaped trouble will follow. Our people are hard working, Emperor fearing, pure blooded and most importantly: deeply, painfully boring. All anyone on this shit hole does is eat, sleep and work those arcane, metal deathtraps to produce "War Effort". Chaos wouldn't touch us with a ten foot pole. I don't even know where would get an idea like that."
Jeb solemnly raises his arm, pointing out the window, directing his friend's gaze to the street below. A tech-priest marches along, banging a tambourine followed by a single leather clad woman strapped into the Mobi-Fuck 40 000.
"The warp has overtaken us, it is a good pain"

>> No.30864026

Dude, you would gain absolutely nothing from castrating an assassin.

>> No.30864059

>Garden Roller

>> No.30864082

You could recover some unnecessary parts.

Some nobles consider those a delicacy you know.

>> No.30864104

If they want to eat a cock they can do that without ruining an assassin.

>> No.30864140

I don't know what doctor castrated you but I'd look up his credentials if I were you. The procedure usually doesn't involve removing the penis.

>> No.30864178

If they want to eat rocky mountain oysters, &c. You get the picture.

>> No.30864641

They'd have to reproduce, given AdMech's origins.

Admech came about as machine worshipping cults on Mars when the Terraforming systems started to fail. If they didn't breed, they'd all be dead by M41

>> No.30864839

Not everyone on Mars or other Forge Worlds is a Tech-priest, even if everyone is a follower of the Machine Cult.

>> No.30865169

>> No.30865226

It is a mystery.

>> No.30865286

>admits to
Must have been one hell of a sight, then.

>> No.30865296

Pretty sure that they are simple enough to be produced by lay artisans.

>> No.30865337

so techpriest sex lasts 30 minutes?

>> No.30865361

This is glorious.

>> No.30865374

You'd still have some form of machine cult inspecting the machines on a regular basis.

Now, regular is in the eye of the beholder. This could be weekly, monthly or annually etc. considering that most machines require relatively little practical knowledge to maintain.

>> No.30865381

Not in sufficient number.

>> No.30865383

35 for a heavy load.

>> No.30865384

The Emperor sounds like a cool guy.

>> No.30865408

He is.

>> No.30865505

"Depending on sources, the Age of Strife began between M23 and M25 and ended in M30."
Where are the marauding robots and aliens and psykers and daemons?

>> No.30865551

>Where are the marauding robots and aliens and psykers and daemons?

Outside the club, duh.

Do you think the doormen will just let anyone in?

>> No.30865565

But there are aliens in the club.

>> No.30865583

Reputable, affluent aliens adhering to the dress code.

>> No.30865600

das racis

>> No.30865659

There's a reason they're called the DARK Eldar.

>> No.30865677

They weren't in M27, that's pre-Fall.

>> No.30865689

Fine, "melanin enhanced Eldar."

>> No.30869394

They're only figuratively dark.

>> No.30869510

I dunno, I kind of like the idea of eldar in blackface

>> No.30869530

"Oh lawdy is dat sum fried wraithbone chikkinz?"

>> No.30869533

Jesus Christ. right on the spot

>> No.30869603

Dark and Durr, featuring one Dark Eldar and one Eldar in blackface

>> No.30870217

close but no cigar, actual translation

>> No.30870240

Not grimdark enough.

>> No.30870480


>> No.30870616

Yes, perfect.

>> No.30871137

>> No.30871878

ah, good ol' wholesome racism

>> No.30871938



>> No.30871982

Zvarte Arkon is niet racisme!

>> No.30872147

Imagine being a poor chartist merchant when this fucker boards your transport.

>> No.30872182

I could see some Harlequin troupe pulling this one off.

>> No.30872248

>they exclusively harass the Salamanders

>> No.30872339



>> No.30872342

Time for old art.

>> No.30872354


>> No.30872361

Requesting archive of this thread for adorable techpriests, that drawing of Cain's AdMech girlfriend and the God Emperor of Mankind's Blue Balls.

>> No.30872366


>> No.30872385


>> No.30872393

>ooga booga where the pain-slaves at

>> No.30872410


>> No.30872431


>> No.30872440


I really hate it when people write letters backwards to try and make text look childish and cute. It just looks like its trying too hard.

>> No.30872504

Motherfucker these pictures were made before nazimod. These pictures are older than Dark Souls 1 AND 2. These pictures are fucking OLD.

Times change. I'm not editing history.

>> No.30872534


I'm not asking you to. I'm just saying its obnoxious.

Also didn't dark souls come out 2 years ago?

>> No.30872539

>older than Dark Souls 1

>> No.30874256

what a bro

>> No.30875235


Don't techpriest robes supposedly symbolize something with the red color, in that case what and are there any other colors used?

>> No.30875454

IIRC the original idea was that the red robes were used by Tech-priests in military duties, with others presumably wearing different robes. But we mostly got the military view and GW depicted pretty much all Tech-priests dressed in red, including ones clearly not in combat roles. Someone bugged GW about that one and they hand-waved the original idea.

So as of the current fluff the robe colors don't really indicate anything.

>> No.30875471

Red is for war, white is normal, black is magos - at least that's what I remember

>> No.30875490

Also for the record the Technomat colour scheme in the original Rogue Trader books was white and blue.

>> No.30875532

I heard somewhere that techpriests on different worlds often dress differently, such as a an order on a space wolf world would dress in a Nordic way

>> No.30875559

Going by Mechanicum and Titanicus, AdMech don't demonstrate their rank in clothing or equipment by means recognizable to outsiders. They display their ranks to each other with a short range wireless signal.

>> No.30875927

I think this is the first time I've seen a SoB in lesbians with someone other than another SoB.

Aside from some of the cultist-chan art

>> No.30878030

That USED to be the case in the early fluff.

>> No.30878226

the Noosphere. It's kinda like the internet meets augmented reality.

>> No.30878753

they did they recruit before the emperor allied with them?

>> No.30878790


>> No.30880139

How canon is DH? because you can get techpriests as parents.

Probably younger, low ranking ones who are mostly organic with a few augmentations and arnt pure LOGIC yet.

>> No.30880276

every thing is canon

>> No.30881134

Also canon: nothing.

>> No.30881187


and then a giant blood bath to become one of the lucky few to get the big D....

but it was all according to plan.

>> No.30881857

>but it was all according to plan.

What if it was just Tzeentch impersonating Big E to all but wipe out the Sisters of Battle?

Imagine the embarassment of the last 5,000 sisters in the galaxy arriving at the Imperial Palace dripping with blood and juices of anticipation only to discover it was all a ruse and the Custodes don't know what they're talking about.

>> No.30882201

the Custodes are gonna have a good time

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