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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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30394959 No.30394959 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Well I think she's alright.
Immune to STDs. Always a firm body for slamming against. Keeps temperatures well.
Mineral bitches don't get nearly enough love.

>> No.30395129

Yeah, okay, enjoy your $10 castration.

>> No.30395525

What is she? Some sort of dryad?

>> No.30395609
File: 210 KB, 419x646, shardmind.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm guessing a Shardmind

>> No.30396068

So she's a girl made of rock? Wouldn't that hurt to put your penis into?

>> No.30396377
File: 22 KB, 480x360, thatsthejoke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30397524

From what I remember shardminds can reconfigure their bodily composition a fair bit.
She does not need to be spiky at all.

>> No.30401885

So animated crystal?

>> No.30402740

Then what's the fucking point?

>> No.30403078

The vagina, probably.

>> No.30403088


That's not a point, that's a hole.

>> No.30403104


Can the hole vibrate?

>> No.30403123

If she's a Shardmind Bard, then yes.

>> No.30403143


Can it pulse with heat and be ribbed for my pleasure?

>> No.30403147
File: 16 KB, 251x222, 1301757853356.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

this thread is amusing

>> No.30403191


Ever get one of those giant slabs of quartz, drill a hole into it and start fucking away?

Kinda like that.

>> No.30403196

I guess they can shove a blowdryer into there or something to warm it up beforehand

>> No.30403225

Wouldn't expanding and contracting rock radiant heat?
I mean volcanoes do it naturally.

>> No.30403238

>Ever get one of those giant slabs of quartz, drill a hole into it and start fucking away?

Crystal fleshlights woo woo!

>> No.30403250

Fuck if I know, I'm no geologist. My only specialty is putting my dick in things like women made of rock and crystal.

>> No.30403284


What the fuck is going on in your life that this occurs to you?

>> No.30403294

I wouldn't put any part of my body inside a volcano though.
lava seems a bit sticky.

>> No.30403301

>Implying the slab of quartz wasn't asking for it with that outfit.

>> No.30403310


Access to a workshop, large quantities of cheap crystal, and extreme curiosity.

Wouldn't *you* stick your dick in a crystal vagina if given one?

>> No.30403318


Or just relax in pile of rocks form by a fire.

All shardminds have a teleport that I believe is fluffed as going all Cryrax.

>> No.30403336
File: 421 KB, 849x1231, rock thing woman.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Where do you think you are?

>> No.30403358

Never change /tg/

I love you

>> No.30403366


I am now imagining a policy where shardmind hookers must go through client after client in short succession to keep their holes warm with friction heat.

>> No.30403387


They could just wear electric panties. Much more effective than friction, especially considering any customer is going to use lube.

>> No.30403389

I've never done this. Wouldn't it hurt just as much to put it in quartz as in any other kind of rock?

>> No.30403411


I'm taking a wild guess here and saying you've never touched a real vagina? Because crystal has exactly 0 of the things that are enjoyable about vaginas.

>> No.30403429
File: 267 KB, 683x1024, marble ass.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Look at this ass.
This rock ass.

>> No.30403445

But it has all of the things that make a crystal vagina enjoyable.

>> No.30403485

OP confirmed for Pygmalion.

>> No.30403509

That's some firm booty

>> No.30403529


You can crush a man's dick with that ass. Literally.

And not in the pleasurable way, more in the "sausage stuffing leaking out of a burst casing" style.

>> No.30403544
File: 226 KB, 500x500, bismuth girl.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I want to fuck it.

>> No.30403547


That ass got hammered for months and it's *still* firm and juicy.

>> No.30403549
File: 65 KB, 500x461, 1389675844792.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

> Holocene Age
> Not getting a blowjob from a sexy Mississippian gilf
> ishygddt

>> No.30403555


It would probably hurt more than with other kinds of rock. Quarts is very card and you don't so much cut it as chip bits off of it. its all edges, all the time. Like glass but harder and crystalline.

I think if you put your dick into a quarts vagina, your dick will exit bleeding.

>> No.30403557


Ha. Clever.

>> No.30403558

Abrasion is AMAZINGLY unsexy.

>> No.30403577

Looks more like teeth to me.

Thanks. I was hoping someone would get it.

>> No.30403588
File: 79 KB, 500x461, 1393046621050.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I tried.

>> No.30403612

So fucking edgy.

>> No.30403616

That ass won't start to sag when she gets old.

>> No.30403632


Put googly eyes on it and you got a Chain Chomp.

>> No.30403656
File: 240 KB, 1100x1466, 1393047079959.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Couldn't you just polish it real fine?

>> No.30404209
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>> No.30406310

Ugh, too much orcanic jellybelly. 2/10, wouldn't bang.

>> No.30406728

>TFW your wife thinks she's fat
>TFW she has the body type of classic marble statues

For the life of me I can't figure out why society thinks skeleton chicks are now sexy

>> No.30406845
File: 61 KB, 640x376, 6yy-amber1a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I once played an online game of 4e with a Smooth Shardmind woman made out of Amber.

It kind of broke down into an ERP with a Canadian dude who got a hard on from the though of a woman made of petrified Syrup.

I wish I was joking.

>> No.30406899

fucking hell
amber isn't a fucking crystal
If you want to make a smooth shardmind, just use Opal, it's got an amorphous crystal identity

>> No.30407093

This fucking thread.

>> No.30407117

Quick, has anyone made a joke about getting your rocks off?

>> No.30407144

if you want to fuck a rock, you can go alunite long

>> No.30407168

Sometimes I take these solid ladies for granite.

>> No.30407181

of quartz not, /tg/ would not sink to such basic puns

>> No.30407222

I think we might all be a little stoned right now.

>> No.30407252

I dunno, maybe if you bought some velvet enchanted to transfer sensation it could work. Otherwise...

>> No.30407322

Well no it's not.
But If you apply the same logic and intelligence that 4e's magic is based on, e.g. none, then you're got something that sounds perfectly legit.

Who doesn't want a petrified Syrup Waifu anyways.
Especially when she has JUST enough control over her body that her smooth breasts only grow noticeable nipples when aroused.

>> No.30407377

And here I thought that the fun of playing a shardmind, much like playing a droid was to mock the fleshies for being fleshies.

That moment when another player gets shot and your line of questioning is "Something is wrong. Are you hungry? Sleepy? Need to mate with something? You best not be doing that "dying" thing. I don't have time for that"

>> No.30407529

Shardminds can totally experience something much akin to dying from bleeding out if severely damaged, though. They don't have that "always at least succeed on death saving throws" ability the 'forged have.

>> No.30407824
File: 65 KB, 640x409, 1389130870476.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Love golems and elementals
>See little Bismuth girl

>> No.30407952
File: 826 KB, 578x910, Skeletons alternate deathstyle.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's the Undead Agenda

>> No.30407973

Just as I was putting the sarnie to my mouth, Anon. Just as I was putting the sarnie to my mouth.

>> No.30408008

God dammit, wizard, that's not "your wife", that's a golem. Making it all curvy and dressing it up doesn't change the fact.

>> No.30408066

oh god

>> No.30409006
File: 1.33 MB, 976x740, Antique Lewdness.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30409199

So Shardmind vagoos are warm and constantly squeezing your dick? What's not to like?

>> No.30409232

>Especially when she has JUST enough control over her body that her smooth breasts only grow noticeable nipples when aroused.

B-But if she came, wouldn't your dick be stuck in her until some fat fuck unearths you, and then uses the blood stored within to create a park filled with female versions of you?

Not before putting your amber dick as the head of a cane, of course.

>> No.30409256

We all have to die somehow, can you really think of a better way to go than sex with a syrup golem?

>> No.30409260

>"Welcome... To Penile Park"
*Que music*

>> No.30409265
File: 36 KB, 720x720, 1385522811634.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>Nature finds a way.

>> No.30409282

>Buy Slaves
>Put their souls in Animated Crystal Bodies shaped like wimmenz
>???Sell to /tg/

>> No.30409289

>*Que music*


>> No.30409355

>Dick in tube filled with sharpened obsidian

>> No.30409921


>> No.30410050

Did anyone say diamond hard nipples yet?
because diamond hard nipples

>> No.30410054

>Not posting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w-58hQ9dLk

>> No.30410209

>giving superhuman bodies to people who probably hate you
What's the worst that can happen?

>> No.30410454

I require more bismuth golems.
I don't care if they're female, I want more bismuth golems.

>> No.30411294 [SPOILER] 
File: 55 KB, 800x490, 1203136344662.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30411683


>> No.30411707
File: 52 KB, 298x320, challenge-accepted.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30411783

That's a bloody nightgaunt.

>> No.30411847

Say what you will, Pygmalion & Galatea was the most stable relationship in all of Greek Mythology.
That's right, "Pinocchio with a Realdoll" was the least fucked-up.

>> No.30411968
File: 43 KB, 200x117, carlos whispers.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm rock-hard right now.

>> No.30411969
File: 38 KB, 400x300, 1384381637721.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Your move anon.

>> No.30412027


>> No.30412095
File: 261 KB, 512x384, Carlos.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I hope our relationship doesn't get off to a rocky start.

>> No.30412144

If you want more shitty edits, you'll have to make them yourselves. Search for "Chain chomp chan" on /rs/

>> No.30412177

Don't take what you have for Granite

>> No.30412255

Aw, come on, I'm willing to gravel.

>> No.30412273

It's coal, we can wipe the slate clean.

>> No.30412374

Orpheus and Eurydice had a pretty rock solid marriage. The dude literally went to hell and back for her.

>> No.30412416

Must be the awesome cleavage. But good luck getting some though, I heard that rock girls are really flaky.

>> No.30412547
File: 112 KB, 503x498, 1251069793718.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Don't be greedy, or you'll be punished

>> No.30412550

Rolled 78

I really want to fuck a marble statue now.

Rolling for new fetish.

>> No.30412826

He had some serious trust issues that ruined the whole relationship, though.

>> No.30413175 [SPOILER] 
File: 150 KB, 615x645, thousand-faceted nelumbo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


very nice. But it's been done. Vigorously.

>> No.30413263

Oh, come on, that is clearly just a wig and kneepads.

>> No.30413338

I chalk it up to inexperience

>> No.30414017 [SPOILER] 
File: 109 KB, 800x544, Bismuth_multicolour_glory.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30416726
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>> No.30416754


>> No.30417151

Foolish girl, ice isn't a rock!

>> No.30417581

But it *is* a crystal, which is close enough for this thread.

>> No.30420129

>mfw new fetish
god damnit

>> No.30420367
File: 89 KB, 253x750, 1281614581033.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This fucking thread.

I swear, /tg/ has made me create more porn folders than any other forum.

>> No.30420470
File: 80 KB, 600x449, cummingtonite.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I know what mineral represents /tg/ in this thread.

>> No.30420546
File: 34 KB, 345x369, 1384715076936.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30420827
File: 4 KB, 794x355, Amidonitrite.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]



>> No.30420936 [SPOILER] 
File: 229 KB, 850x566, tk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You should have been here back in The Day(tm). This is the only one of the thri-kreen pictures I have that I might possibly be allowed to post still.

>> No.30421030
File: 370 KB, 500x697, 1392404559382.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30421307


Are they up on e621?

>> No.30421390
File: 54 KB, 600x800, 1366833823808.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Yeh, I've been there for those. And more.

/tg/ has some really good drawfags. I haven't been on /tg/chan for a while though. I know a lot of /tg/ drawfags went there to post porn.

>> No.30421451
File: 344 KB, 1017x805, 1241749874.sildre_ratsquish.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


tgchan, e621, and several fur affinity accounts for all the rat ass you will ever need.

Plus some stuff you never even knew you wanted.

>> No.30421544
File: 203 KB, 807x932, 1240987533.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I forgot the term for when /tg/ and /d/ get together to make magic.

>> No.30421774

I-is that relicanth-maid? muh dicj

>> No.30421851
File: 20 KB, 500x333, thri-kreen hooker.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>thread starts with shardmind hooker
>somebody posts thri-kreens

and now we come full circle

>> No.30421856


We ge/tg/u/d/.

>> No.30421940

Bismuth is best for sexy golem girls
Prove me wrong

>> No.30421951

Technically ice is a mineral so it fits.

>> No.30421962

>Haven't been on /tg/ in a long time.
>Decide to visit.
>See this thread.

And so this night was well spent.

>> No.30421975

What are you on about

>> No.30422002

naturally occurring
regular chemical composition
ordered atomic structure

Fits all the criteria. Glaciers are made up of minerals.

>> No.30422027


While amber's not a crystal, as a canadian, I must say, motherfucking boner happenin right now.


>> No.30422101

>look it up
>Ice is recognized as a mineral by the International Mineralogy Association
You learn something new every day

>> No.30422122

It has a hole you just drilled in it, which is generally the most enjoyable thing about a vagina.

>> No.30422228
File: 99 KB, 278x293, porkchisel.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>this thread

>> No.30422336

>Trying to squeeze juice out of a rock.

Good luck with that.

>> No.30423223
File: 481 KB, 544x345, juicy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

just...gonna leave this here. totally not rock porn. just scientific interest.

>> No.30423256

Wouldn't that be rock guro? They cut that rock in half

>> No.30423288

you see a rock cut in half, i see exciting new possibilities.

>> No.30423393

That looks quite glassy...

>> No.30423557
File: 185 KB, 784x1017, 1393127952005.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You know it, baby

>> No.30423603

As in "you are going to cut your dick" glassy, I mean.

>> No.30423654
File: 223 KB, 640x951, 1336398401580.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Now why would you think that?

>> No.30424330


You are correct. That is an animal.

>> No.30424802
File: 79 KB, 400x284, 3YknH2Z.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I thought this was a Gneiss ass
. . . until i saw that it was full of Schist.

>> No.30425448

>Wouldn't that hurt
More like "wouldn't that require a rotary hammer"

>> No.30425804

Isn't there magic technology that makes anything fuckable?
Like, it's some sort of flower thing, you stick in on the side of the thing you want to fuck and can bring said object to an orgasm.

>> No.30426014
File: 143 KB, 1614x828, 1336856818600.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.30426078
File: 90 KB, 1009x407, 1390732722438.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Woops, wrong one.

>> No.30426214

that is a geode faced human woman. not a geode.

>> No.30426237

That isn't a rock, its an animal with really good camoflage

>> No.30426288

God, the DETAIL wrought in that sculpture never fails to amaze me.

>> No.30426298

>/tg/ manifesto.jpg

>> No.30427459

what animal?

>> No.30427865

some sorta shellfish IIRC

>> No.30428093

>not soft
>not moist

>> No.30428442


Exalted had that in their April Fools supplement.

Long story short, a mythical god-king fell in love with a mountain - not the god of the mountain, not the mighty elemental at its heart, but the mountain his self. And being a god-king who'd long ago gone full decadence, he invented the "Many-Stalked Flower of Delight", which plugged into two individuals and automatically translated their actions and reactions into a species-appropriate equivalent for their partner.

And then he fucked the mountain so hard that everyone nearby died in the ensuing eruption.

Fucking Solars, man.

>> No.30430434


>> No.30430682

Fucking Solars indeed.

>> No.30432552

>Many-Stalked Flower of Delight
Don't need a drawfriend to know what that is.

>> No.30434256

I do.
Flowers only need one stalk. Is it one flower?
A bunch of flowers? Maybe all the stalk come to a single point flower?

>> No.30435212
File: 122 KB, 400x381, I AM BARRY.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.30435319

>implying you wouldn't do the same thing

>> No.30435412


>> No.30435467
File: 710 KB, 1400x1600, PoisonIvyRE2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

something tells me its something like this

>> No.30435879
File: 143 KB, 800x537, mountain meadow.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>"Hey baby, like what you see?"

>> No.30436109

Those aren't petals.

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