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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.30364873 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Old Thread.

>> No.30364904


>> No.30365020

how were these not posted

>> No.30365039

>> No.30365067

>> No.30365137


>> No.30365241

I don't even know, man.

>> No.30365258

Whoops, replied to the wrong one.

Meant this one

>> No.30365291

>> No.30365334

>> No.30365356


What the hell is the strike witches emblem doing in there?

>> No.30365377


>> No.30365380

They're bloody magpies. Ain't gotta explain shit.

>> No.30365390

No, they most certainly do not.

>> No.30365393

Supreme Grand Master Azrael was conducting a surprise inspection of the Rock when he reached the showers. Inside, he found a large splotch of semen dripping down the wall.
"Marines!" he roared. "Have you been defiling this holy chamber with the vile act of masturbation?!"
"No, Supreme Grand Master!" said Brother Titus. "I farted!"

>> No.30365425

>> No.30365439

What the fuck, man.

>> No.30365480

I swear if you guys haven't beaten me to this one.

>> No.30365497

Nyarko worst love interest in that show.

>> No.30365553

>> No.30365583

true, would fuck the living hell of that femboy

>> No.30365631

A space marine captain, a sororitas canoness, and a commissar are having a conversation while waiting for their transport ship to reach the battle when they start to have an argument over which has the bravest troops.
"My battle-brothers are the bravest," said the captain. He ordered one of this marines to eject out of the airlock into the warp.
"Yes, my captain," said the marine as he followed his orders to the letter.
"Bah!" said the canoness. "My sisters are the bravest!" She ordered one of them to strip out of her power armor and eject herself out into the warp.
"For the Emperor!" the sister said as she followed her orders to the letter.
"You know nothing of bravery," said the commissar. "Let me show you true courage." He ordered one of his guardsmen to eject himself out of the airlock into the warp.
The guardsman took one look at the hatch and another at the commissar, then said, "Sir, no, sir!"
The commissar turned to his colleagues triumphantly.
"THAT is bravery."

>> No.30365636

I would pretty much abandon Nyarko to be molested into pregnancy by Cuuko for a chance at Hasta

>> No.30365667

tho....if they all already live in my house...why not play along with nyarko while secretly fucking everyone else?

>> No.30365671

Hersey for disobeying a Commissar.

>> No.30365691

Cuuko's party sytstem supports up to 4 people.

>> No.30365697


>> No.30365713

but then yaknow

you have to put up with Nyarko.

>> No.30365735

i am a patient guy
do ancient abominations sleep?

>> No.30365786

mind explaining?

>> No.30365790


>> No.30365885

A chaos cultist was scouting ahead of his horde when he came across a lone Imperial chapel in the middle of no man's land. Looking inside, he saw a single Battle Sister praying at the altar for deliverance. Overcome with love, he decided to defile her in the name of chaos.
He ran back to the chaos horde and found the Noise Marine. "Master Noise Marine," he cried, "I have found a lone Battle Sister in an isolated chapel and wish to defile her in the name of chaos! Please tell me, how can I do this?"
"Obviously," said the Noise Marine, "you must seduce her!"
"But Master Noise Marine, she'll kill me the second I step into the chapel!"
"Here is what you need to do," said the Noise Marine. "I have a spare suit of power armor. Paint it gold, and return to the chapel. Claim to be the Emperor and she shall throw herself at your feet! Once you have had your way with her, reveal yourself and she will be so distraught, her defilement will be glorious to behold!"
"Brilliant!" said the cultist, running to find some gold paint.
The next day, he returned to the chapel in his gleaming gold plate. He burst through the door and cried out, "I am the Emperor of Mankind! I have heard you pleas and have come to deliver you from the foul hordes of the Great Enemy!"
"My Emperor!" cried the Battle Sister, throwing herself at his feet. "I am unworthy!"
"Nothing could be farther from the truth," said the cultist. "I have chosen you to be the mother of a new generation of Primarchs!"
"Oh, my Emperor!" she cried.
In moments he had her bent over the altar and they were screwing like rabbits. After several minutes of hot, steamy, heretical sex, the cultist felt himself come to climax. Sensing the moment was right, he threw off his disguise and shouted,
"Foolish dog of the false Emperor! I was in disguise the whole time!"
"So was I!" said the Noise Marine, throwing off the Sister costume.

>> No.30365905

fucking slaaneshi (literally)

>> No.30365917


I read this goddamn joke almost fifteen years ago on some joke website that I can't even begin to recall the name of.

Of course it was less 40K themed, and involved a hippy, a nun, and a bus driver.

>> No.30366004

Some Black Templars were discussing their Neophytes when one of them said, "I have the best Neophyte story of all."
"How so?" asked the other Templar.
"Well, as a test, I gave him a chainsword and told him to go kill 100 orks."
"And what did he do?"
"He killed only 99."
"And did you purge him for his failure?"
"No, for you see, he is from a very uncivilized world and is not very intelligent, so I decided to give a second chance the next day."
"What happened?"
"Again, I gave him a chainsword and he killed only 99 orks."
"And did you then purge him for his failure?"
"No, for I realized my instruction may have been at fault. So, on the third day, I went with him."
"And what happened?"
"Well, we went to the battle."
"I activated my chainsword."
"My neophythe spun around wide eyes, shouting, 'Emperor on Earth! What is that noise?!'"

Many guffaws were had all around.

>> No.30367859

Brothers! Would you like to hear of a joke?

>> No.30367905

I would indeed brother!

>> No.30367920

The Imperial Guard!

>> No.30367931


>> No.30367934

*guffawing begins*

>> No.30368379

>> No.30368438

I'd like to thank roguelikes, and copy pasting.

>> No.30370044

Okay OP. I have a massive collection of /tg/ screencaps... plus assorted choice /co/, /k/, and /b/ caps as well. I'm going to post them all, in sequence, until i hit... 3 duplicate file errors, okay?

Now, last time, i did this alphabetically, so this time i'll do... File size. Smallest to largest. Starting off at a humble 3 kb

>> No.30370049


>> No.30370066


>> No.30370087


>> No.30370100


>> No.30370107

>> No.30370116

>> No.30370130

>> No.30370143

>> No.30370152

>> No.30370166

This one... i save for dealing with people who tell me to read the file name when i am reduced to asking for source.

>> No.30370175

3.5, an entire game system built on technicalities.

>> No.30370191

Best 4chan banner. best.

>> No.30370205

digging through the /co/ archives... this scared me.

>> No.30370215


>> No.30370222

Remember that calcified humor thread? That was pretty good

>> No.30370227

Random Encounter bitches.

>> No.30370233

>> No.30370253

>> No.30370262

>> No.30370274

>> No.30370283

Stop being a retard, if you just ask for sauce without giving a reason why you're not doing your own google-fu, you deserve all the shit you get. Most people who ask for sauce don't have a proper reason not to use google image search or look up the filename, they're genuinely just stupid.

>> No.30370286

>> No.30370296

Honestly, I usually say "I'm on a mobile, what's the source?" Then i get to use that.

>> No.30370304

>> No.30370309

>> No.30370318

>> No.30370325

The... er... there's a screencap explaining this.

>> No.30370336

True. true.

>> No.30370353

Every sperm is sacred... so are sacrificial cows...

>> No.30370371

Camo! Because we don't give a fuck.

>> No.30370408


I'm happy to say I witnessed that thread from the initial typo.

>> No.30370463


>> No.30370473

And I have it.

>> No.30370474

Best use of an badly beaten horse on /co/

>> No.30370487

50% of internet goers don't get this and have to ask what this is a reference to.

Read it slowly, carefully, and note each character's name and qualities.

>> No.30370493

>> No.30370497


Russia fuck everyone... posted by me... two days ago.

>> No.30370515

This will get kicked back for sure.

>> No.30370521

It's Futurama.
I know and have to wait fifty seconds to post this because fucking 4chan.

Fucking Captcha and duplicate file.

>> No.30370524 [SPOILER] 

It's terrible to see the start of the infection.

>> No.30370535

A screenpic.
By me.
Of a thread which scared the shit out of me.

>> No.30370543

They ARE.

also: natural 20's got kicked back.

>> No.30370552

Cursed items are equally valid means of inter-party conflict resolution.

>> No.30370554

Because an anon was visited by the Partridges, and killed and replaced by them, the Blood Ravens arrived at the scene at his plea for help.
I regret nothing.

>> No.30370561

Oh wow, this is... howible.

>> No.30370565

>> No.30370574

Already used a futurama joke

>> No.30370581

>> No.30370589

>> No.30370599

>implying 50% of people on the internet don't reflexively hear his voice whenever someone says that line

Anon, they'd have to be at least 12 to not get... that...

Oh shit.

>> No.30370605

Trolling /v/ is easy. just give them something they want by telling them it's something horrible.

>> No.30370613

how to I cache more captchas in 4chanX? I'm getting sick of running back here every minute to type a new one.

>> No.30370622

>> No.30370626

So long, Space Cowboy.

>> No.30370629

Ideal placement on /co/

>> No.30370636

>> No.30370644

>> No.30370645

Related to this, my dad just told me a story about how he drew a life sized drawing of a naked woman in a sexy pose in the SJW museum in dc (national museum of women and the arts) up in the ceiling of the 6th floor, on one of the air ducts.

>> No.30370654

And in the end...?

>> No.30370655

/tg/ famously chose raiding the lair of an ancient colossal red dragon over trying to get one dollar out of Scrooge's money bin.

>> No.30370661

>> No.30370662


Yeah, as a construction worker, i can tell you: we're all petty vandals and trolls.

>> No.30370672

Someone call batman...

>> No.30370674

Get out you fucking whore, I already posted it, once is more than enough for this kind of content.

>> No.30370680

well, i think i've got one more in me, and then i have to do other shit.

This was fun.. . two strikes, a lot of uploads. Fun.

>> No.30370685


>> No.30370696

Last one... i always thought this was epic in it's own way.

>> No.30370744

>> No.30370745


>> No.30370782


>> No.30370808


Oh hey, do you have one where a comic book nerd in the WoD gets embraced and instead of angsting over his immortality and super-strength he becomes a superhero called the Crimson Bat?

>> No.30370819

>Transgender skeleton who still believes in genders after death
>Would that make it otherskin

>> No.30370876


>> No.30370888


>> No.30370924


>> No.30370937


>> No.30370961


>> No.30370976


>> No.30371016


>> No.30371018

Kindly go kill yourself.

>> No.30371032

Wrong one

>> No.30371072

...I was one of the people who downloaded it...

>> No.30371092

Well, actually the joke is that the radio is clogged with verbal diarrhea that pisses off at least 75% of the people who hea... actually, no you! YOU kill yourself!

>> No.30371116


>> No.30371128

>> No.30371151

Oh, hey, I actually recognize this picture! Of a robot trying to break open the prison of an eldritch abomination because there was a contract that was supposed to free it.

Or is that the joke?

>> No.30371169

We woopin'?

>> No.30371227


>> No.30371411

>> No.30371460

>> No.30371623


>> No.30371709


Why can't Omegle ever be this good when I'm on?

>> No.30371738



>> No.30371740

>> No.30371783

>> No.30371832


>> No.30371910



>> No.30371998

>> No.30372016

>> No.30372032

I long ago lost what board this was from. It was most likely /k/ or /tg/

>> No.30372050


Do you any dolphin porn?Just out of curiosity.

>> No.30372068

>> No.30372083

>A robot breaks open an eldritch abomination's magical prison

Dammit, now I have to go replay Cave Story.

>> No.30372097


>> No.30372122

>> No.30372133

Does anyone have the copy/pasta where the guy doesn't want to be a wizard but gets tricked into it and it turns out the wizard who tricked him made it worth it time all along.

>> No.30372166

Was this from a video game or something else?

>> No.30372175

>> No.30372180

That is really funny considering MLP has more porn on paheal than everything buy Pokemon.

>> No.30372186

Kobold Camp mod for Dwarf Fortress

>> No.30372193

probably dorf fortress. That's the only game I know with lethal carp

>> No.30372210


Porkyman? I didn't need about that.

>> No.30372255

>> No.30372298


Which game is this?

>> No.30372330

It makes me happy when a post I made was capped.

Very true. I also did a job at one of the local casinos and had to climb up into a normally inaccessible space to fish some cables. The original tinners had a real porncasso in their crew. I snapped a couple shots with my phone, have the tamer one censored to protect /tg/'s innocent eyes.

>> No.30372342

For the longest time I was so very confused when people talked about Call of Cthulu here...

>> No.30372355

Next time at least look at the fucking responses, you twit.

>> No.30372419

Finally someone who actually bothers to name their images.

>> No.30372437


Gentlemen, i'm looking for dorf fort storytimes, I lost my folder in a really contrived series of explosions due to my paranoia and insistence that I install a self destruct mechanism.

Have a random storytime instead!

>> No.30372450


>> No.30372473


>> No.30372485


>> No.30372529


>> No.30372582


>> No.30372647


>> No.30372676

Final brogan

>> No.30372822

>I lost my folder in a really contrived series of explosions due to my paranoia and insistence that I install a self destruct mechanism.
I think I'd rather hear this storytime.

>> No.30372826

>> No.30372844

>> No.30372878

>> No.30372912

why is george lucas so sad?

>> No.30372960

>> No.30372977

>> No.30372999

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>> No.30373083


>> No.30373095

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>> No.30373276

>> No.30373302

>> No.30373341

>> No.30373415

>> No.30373438

I remember that thread... I've been here too long...

>> No.30373442

>> No.30373461

good times though right?

>> No.30373478

>> No.30373495

>> No.30373508

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>> No.30373643

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>> No.30373691

>> No.30373708


I see this picture every once in a while. What prompted its creation?

>> No.30373774

Iirc, it was a thread asking for similar pictures, which snowballed onto discussion of the specific situation in that image, which prompted a bunch of shoops.

>> No.30373954


My hard drive shall recover! MUAHAHAHA

>> No.30374006


No way, man, that post predates /tg/ and possibly /co/. I think it's from around 2005-2006.

>> No.30374030


Is there an archive?

>> No.30374287

Jesus man, the Mexican half of me just stopped awestruck at that tale

>> No.30374394

such are the miracles of dorf fort

>> No.30374483

Did the other half of you continue moving and tear your body in twain?

Or was it more like a stroke where you lost feeling of half of your body?

>> No.30374684

The other half (German) was amazed by the sheer scope of the project and base in general, though it might have been partial fear at the Halls of Crimson and the bloody red dungeons.

Granted I was sitting at the time, so I was already standings still

>> No.30375494

Oh man, one of my favorite stories out there, thanks for that

>> No.30375919

Legitimate tears of manliness.

>> No.30376054

I has a sad now.

>> No.30376292



>> No.30376349

Why is she saying that?

>> No.30376819

Like this?

Holy shit this guy looks exactly like my College roommate.

>> No.30377504

Oh godemprah I'm dying over here... >>30372342 OH GODEMPRAH IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS.
Not the other faggot who can't into extensions, but I'm on a mobile too. Sowwy.
>leg up on the enemy
Fuck's sake, please tell me what tags were used, this is hilarious.

>> No.30377563

Please, I'm not just saying this because this is 4chan, go kill yourself right now. How the fuck do you know know Ter.

>> No.30377619

I don't mind the image.jpg, I know it's mobile, but it always pains me when people don't throw names onto their pictures, it just feels like it's special memories not made special. Sure they are not yours, but what is /tg/ other than a beautiful storytelling of fantastic worlds and nightmare realms?

>> No.30377743

some people can tell what their pictures are by looking at them and don't need pithy titles to remember

>> No.30377935

Sure, but what happens when you find a picture that truly gets to you, it just hits you somewhere? Whether it be a tale of a paladin killing a blackguard in disguise to save a drow, or the time a group of valorous humans saved the world from a child of nurgle, you want to, nay you NEED to give that piece a title, something you will keep close to your heart. If a tale uses no images to convey it's meaning, and is of sufficient length, you will soon be hard pressed to tell what is exactly what when it has many more like it.

Some days, you may find yourself lost a midst the pictures, reading through them and relearning the tale as though you are meeting with an old friend. To call those titles you have given it, be it by a humorous detail, an additional pun, or by being incredibly accurate, petty, is an insult to the human mind.

>> No.30378518

Image limit reached. New thread!

>> No.30379461

I found this on Encyclopedia Dramatica a long time ago. I'm surprised it's even tangentially /tg/ related.

>> No.30379480

That was very well done indeed, and I salute whoever created that. Shame on the kiddlywinks who don't get it.

>> No.30379528

Hah, true, although there is some handwave bullshit about not being able to predict the exact time or destruction, the circumstances of it or the consequences.

>> No.30379535

This pleases me.

>> No.30379742

The thing that always made me laugh the most was the the guy in the pic looks way more Norwegian than British. That and cold on the cob, or maybe Small Bens.

>> No.30379773

>necromancer with wise cracking skeleton companion accidentally given sentience
>necromancer has life long regret for not being an enchanter
oh yeah, I'm stealing this idea.

>> No.30380133

I'm not even halfway through and I'm in agony, someone give the fucking writer a peerage

>> No.30380195

as someone whos played ss13 for years, and even dev'd for it, thats not a very funny story compared to anything I've done

>> No.30380224


>> No.30380457

Is that from the dolphin-bee-rape-industry thread? God, that was a genius . . . whatever you call several hours of text-based debauchery.

>> No.30380698

The date is RIGHT THERE IN THE SCREENCAP anon. September '06.

>> No.30382736

It's still your own fucking fault for even using a mobile in the first place.

>> No.30383843

I don't get it. -_-

>> No.30383895

Oh lord...

>> No.30383903

He killed the Xeno scum without the chainsword to begin with.

>> No.30383950

Not the guy your talking to but I got that part but I still don't get why he only killed 99

>> No.30384049

You wear a disguise to look like human guys...

>> No.30384898


> i'm looking for dorf fort storytimes, I lost my folder in a really contrived series of explosions due to my paranoia and insistence that I install a self destruct mechanism.

That's a pretty believable dorf fort story right there, actually.

>> No.30385013

This is terrible.

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