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[ERROR] No.29944222 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Edible Roleplay General

>Starting ERP threads, with salt spice and everything nice
>Talking about ERPs while they're on the oven
>Talking about ERP players and bakers
>Never actually baking cakes because you're too busy talking about baking cakes

To get started
>Pick F-List or IRC or both as your preferred method

>Go to #1001Lewd_Nights on Rizon for IRC
>Make a character and jump into /tg/ chat under "Private Channels" for F-list

>Go to www.f-list.net
>Create a username.
>Create a character profile on that username.
>Click chat -> chat now and enter the chat (Experimental chat slightly advised). You'll be on the frontpage.
>Click "channels" on the bar up the top and click "private rooms" and navigate down to /tg/ chat.

1)Go make an account at http://www.f-list.net/. It's anonymous in the sense that nobody will ever see that username.
2)Now go Characters - Create new character. This is your public profile. You can have up to 30 of them.
3)Describe the character you want to play and basic scenarios you want to play them in. Don't have to go into massive detail, be succinct about it.
4)Then go to http://www.f-list.net/chat/, channels button, find /tg/ chat in the private channels list and go there (or paste /join ADH-f4d410127b1463779309 into the default open channel)
5)Chat around, find some people interested in your stuff.

>Post contact info
>Get help from friendly old chefs
>Be awesome
>Eat muffins, cakes and brownies like a maniac

Keep lewd images to a minimum, please.

>> No.29944269

So, with the topic of this thread, foodplay. Anywhere from sensually licking off an array of sweets and fruits off your lover's/pet's body to using the long fruits and vegetables as "alternatives".

Do you go for it? Find it disgusting and a waste of good food? How far do you usually go for it?

>> No.29944323


Pic related.

>> No.29944414

This edition reminds me of a thread where people were talking about the best way to do a dark elf.

IIRC, the winning submission was a light elf who nearly drowned in a barrel of magical chocolate as a child. As a result, she sweats chocolate, and her hair and nails taste sugary-sweet. Her skin might be slightly melty, too.

>> No.29944470

Would you like a fork or a spoon?

>> No.29944518

remind me to try this out sometime. honey can be so erotic (and if misused such a mess.)

>> No.29944547

>join a game
>first night after a long hard day of raiding an ancient temple
>fighter has been making passes at me all day
>decide to reward him for being such a great help
>mfw he eases into it with intercrural

Finally, someone that knows how to treat a loli.
I think he's a keeper.

>> No.29944574


>> No.29944644

So, this is basically just a group of F-listers invading /tg/, trying to recruit?

Can't you guys just stay on your own forum?

>> No.29944658

What are you cooking up for Valentine's day?

>> No.29944679


It's people on /tg/ with F-lists, rather.

>> No.29944698

I found F-list through /tg/ actually

>> No.29944725


>> No.29944727

>see this thread
>have been working on a concept for a baker's apprentice fantasy character for a week or so
>now I'll look so unimaginative and unoriginal
>but nobody would have wanted to play with me anyway, so it doesn't really matter

>> No.29944757


I'd stick my twinkie in your chocolate cave, if you know what I'm saying.

>> No.29944762

>Finally, someone that knows how to treat a loli.

You are the luckiest little girl. It's so hard to find somebody into that who doesn't want to make it creepy shit.

>> No.29944763

So, why don't you go and roleplay on F-list, and talk about your F-list roleplaying on F-list?

Talking about your F-list roleplaying on /tg/ is kind of crazy, especially considering how most of what you do isn't actually related to the traditional or gaming forms of roleplaying.

This thread makes no sense.
Unless it's just a recruitment ad.

>> No.29944780

dat image
Also being single kinda narrows down what I might be doing, don'tcha think?

>> No.29944789 [SPOILER] 


>> No.29944799 [DELETED] 

how have these worthless threads not been banned yet

>> No.29944830

I want to try a twinkie.

>> No.29944833 [DELETED] 

because its better than 40k thread #99999 and erp threads are limited to the weekends.

>> No.29944880

Hey, you still got two weeks to arrange some company.
I'm no relationship expert but starting with offerings of cookies and sweets might actually be the way to go...

>> No.29944938

Where do you want to try a twinkie, you filthy glutton, you?

>> No.29944971



I'll never have my Rinne no Lagrange foursome RP ;_;

>> No.29944972

Food. While thinking of better days.

>> No.29944993

Right between my lips, pass my tongue and down my throat.
Being a Britfag is the worst.

>> No.29945011

I guess if I even feel a need for anything like that, I'll go and try to hook up with depressed and lonely girls in a bar or something.

>> No.29945033

>Full deepthroat on the first twinkie

That's pretty bold. You really must be a glutton.

>> No.29945055

pretty sure he has taken bigger before

>> No.29945068

Go big or go home, as they say.

>> No.29945105

>two weeks until Valentine

I feel like I should make sweet love to one of you sexy little lovedolls on that day. Or maybe several of you.

>> No.29945112

Oh god, that damn burger...

>tfw you will never have a qt gril give you a burger job and then eat the burger to show her love and adoration

>> No.29945124

yer' cawk is showing

>> No.29945138

>burger job

I have no clue what that is, but I want it.

>> No.29945168

>you will never cram your Twinkie down Foron's throat

>> No.29945169

Getting masturbated with a burger. I once masturbated with a ham sandwich. It was pretty nice.

>> No.29945172

Let's not stay with just burgers, we got couple more sweets in store...
You can keep the plugsuit on.

>> No.29945183

Just imagine >>29945068 's thick, juicy burger sliding over your erect member, Anon.

>> No.29945186

>burger job

Is that like hotdogging?

>> No.29945208

I've heard about a Hero's Sandwich before but that's definitely a new one.

>> No.29945215

Bad Foron, over the line.
I don't know whether to threaten with spanking you or not spanking you, but you better drop that image.

No, not that kind of spanking, you perv!

>> No.29945230

>I will never get to try a twinkie in my lifetime.

>> No.29945245

>This kinda tastes funny anon.

>> No.29945268

>a tiniest little bit chubby
>them scars

>> No.29945272

F-List isn't just for furry ERP is it?

I'm more of a fan of high fantasy ERP that involves blood orgies and demonic reituals

>> No.29945333


>Have some more Anon, you must be starving...
>Say "Aaaah"~

>> No.29945365

>F-List isn't just for furry ERP is it?
Of course, but be ready to have to beat furries off with a broom once in a while, even if you clearly state "no furries, humans only" in your profile, some are going to pester you anyway.
>I'm more of a fan of high fantasy ERP that involves blood orgies and demonic reituals
That certainly works.

>> No.29945369

What kind of spanking did you have in mind?~

>> No.29945386

>Not being a paladin that gently makes love to pure maidens.

>> No.29945435 [SPOILER] 


"You thought this would be that Milf with the rice, but it's just me, chubby girl with rabbit ears.

>> No.29945471

>> No.29945497


For some reason, I always thought it was a buttplugsuit.

>> No.29945516


>Well, I did put my homemade cream in it...

>> No.29945533


this too TryHardish for ERP?

>> No.29945562


>Oh, that's alright then. I've been doing that to your food for months now anyways~

>> No.29945564

Details. We demand DETAILS.
>using the fat and sauce of a burger as lubrication when fucking a girl
Not only does this sound kinda hot, but it also sounds like a great way of giving her a yeast infection

>> No.29945571

no avater
no images
don't know what that text is supposed to be.

0/10 put more effort in

>> No.29945588

>but it also sounds like a great way of giving her a yeast infection
Word, play with foodstuff should be kept waist-up.

>> No.29945597

And now I'm reminded of that SG-1 smutfic where the base doctor makes a really delicious sallad and then Carter finds out she's been masturbating with the vegetables that go into the sallad.

>> No.29945626

>don't know what that text is supposed to be.
>not liking dumb genre bullshit
>on /tg/

I don't get it.

>> No.29945636

Yesterday's thread had a lot of great advice for playing human males.

That said, if I could get any feedback and or criticisms on my profile specifically that would be great. I know it still need a lot of work.


>> No.29945641

>Maybe: Pokémon
pff hahaha

Overall - no images and it's difficult to tell what you're trying to say in there (for person not familiar with Shadowrun it might be outright impossible).

>> No.29945647


+ Seems somewhat original.
+Clearly some effort spent putting it together.
+/- It's clearly WIP (I won't judge you too harshly though)
- Missing basic information
- No picture and/or avatar
- No custom kinks. We only get a vague idea of what interests you.

4/10 - If you get some pictures up there, fill out your basic information, and give us some custom kinks, it could be as much as 7/10.

>> No.29945674


I don't want to think of SG-1 this way.

>> No.29945697

Girls with a bit of padding?

Food play maybe? I'm not exactly sure what I want at the moment.

>> No.29945700

And at the same time that's pretty tame. I'm sure you'd find a lot weirder stories if you just look around.

>> No.29945702

>(for person not familiar with Shadowrun it might be outright impossible).

YES! This is what I was trying for.

>Missing basic information
> No picture and/or avatar
> No custom kinks. We only get a vague idea of what interests you.

Will work on these. Thanks for the feedback.

>> No.29945724

You've been doing what?!
Even my corn flakes?....

>> No.29945742


Bookmarked. Will probably send you a note at some point.

>> No.29945760

>Not only does this sound kinda hot, but it also sounds like a great way of giving her a yeast infection
Dude, Burgerjob has nothing to do with penetrative sex of the genital nature. Safety first.

Burgerjob is just Burger stimulation of the penis followed by consumption of the burger by the partner administering said Burgerjob.

>> No.29945764

>Goa'uld entering Carters vagina cause she has the remains of that Jolinar Goa'uld in her neck
>hymen-restoring sarcophargus
>Doctor Sexyredhead giving Tealc's parasite a boobjob
The possibilities are endless!

>> No.29945772


I'm on F-List by the way. I replied to your note last night.

>> No.29945775

Don't use tilde for custom kinks but rather some other character that sorts before "a". (to have them on top)

>girl next door with some extra "slutty"
yep, it certainly works

>> No.29945781

>Frosted Flakes
>more than good, they're GUUUHRREAT!

>> No.29945793


Well, milk is milk, no matter where it comes from.

>> No.29945801

Oh and the hair antenae is called "ahoge", not "ahegao"

>> No.29945816

Especially your corn flakes!

>> No.29945829

let me just leave this here...

>> No.29945830


Actually, the taste and texture of milk can change depending on what the producer has been eating.

Hell, milk sickness is caused by drinking milk from cows who ate white snakeroot.

>> No.29945848


B-but it's still milk... Right?

>> No.29945887


I mean sure, yeah, it's milk.

In the same sense that Mountain Dew and Dr. Pibb are both carbonated sodas.

>> No.29945889


Hmm, I should change that, shouldn't I? I mean they are all still clumped together, which I thought was the important part.


I'm aware, but I wasn't reference the hair.

>> No.29945935

>A lizard person approaches.

>> No.29945959

A-and the chocolate frosted corn flakes?

>> No.29945963


>> No.29945975


Oh, that was just regular chocolate.

>> No.29945996



>> No.29946019


>> No.29946020

+1 new way of doing things
-1 No avatar
-1 No images
-1 Statement of high concept too deep into profile
-0 No formatting
-1 No apparent theme

All serious though. The first bit of your profile basically NEEDS to give me some idea of what you are. If I don't have that, you're not going to get anyhthing.

>> No.29946032 [SPOILER] 


>> No.29946042

Twinkies are actually fucking disgusting. You're not missing anything at all.

>> No.29946067

>Twinkies are actually fucking disgusting.

>> No.29946099

Hey, hey. Fuck you. Twinkies are great.

>> No.29946103

>Twinkies are actually fucking disgusting.

>> No.29946115

They totally are. A stale, largely-flavorless yellow cake - basically just a crumbly sponge - injected full of sickly-sweet frosting with an aftertaste of industrial cleaning solvents. Twinkies are absolutely fuck-awful. Nobody would ever eat them literally ever if they weren't something old enough to be traditional.

They're simply disgusting.

>> No.29946128

Twinkies are basically what slavic lands know as "rakvicky" (lit: "coffins").

>> No.29946145

Next you're gonna tell me Green Apple skittles are shit and they should go back to Lime

>> No.29946149

>They're simply disgusting.

>> No.29946155

I wouldn't know about that. All I know is that a twinkie is basically a sponge full of frosting that tastes like a factory floor.

>> No.29946195

I like twinkies myself.

>> No.29946220


>> No.29946226

>Details. We demand DETAILS.

Eh? It's nothing special.
It was a long time ago, when I was still in school. Middle school or so, I think. One day I came back from school to see that no one was home (my parents were both working). I still had a sandwich that my mom made me for lunch, but I didn't eat it in school for some reason. Nothing special - bread, butter, ham, butter, bread. I took it out of my backpack and wondered what to do with it. Maybe add some mayo so it goes down easier? I was still a bit horny at the time since I spent the last class thinking about lewd stuff instead of listening, and a thought occured to me - ham is meat, and a pussy is meat too, so would this feel like a pussy? So i just put my dick between the pieces of ham, wrappend my hand around the bread and started jerking. It felt so good that I was almost cumming after 4 strokes or so. I didn't want to have good food go to waste, so I tried to pull out, but then I realized that any motion would cause me to cum. I was just standing in the kitchen, pants at the ankles, supporting myself on the fridge, while my other hand was tightly grabbing the mess of bread that was a sandwich once. I lasted for a dozen seconds like that, but the feeling of meat on my penis made me cum anyway, filling the sandwich with "mayo". While I was still horny I sorta fancied eating the sandwich with cum, but I wasn't at that stage back then yet, so the thought quickly turned to disgust after cumming inside.
I had to throw it away.

>> No.29946252

>It felt so good that I was almost cumming after 4 strokes or so.

Huh. I can't imagine it feeling that good.

I would try it, but knowing my usual luck, a SWAT strike force would break through my window just as I was finishing. Or something.

>> No.29946292

Well, It was my first time using something other than just my hand, so it wasprobably because it was kind of a new feeling to me.

>> No.29946495

Food + Drink = fuck awesome if mixed right.

>> No.29946620

Now I want to make a slender woman with big boobs who works at a fish and chip shop.

So hot and greasy whatever will she do~

>> No.29946622

>"So you're awake then?"

>> No.29946692

This is something I can get behind.
I can pop down the shop for one too~.

>> No.29946895


Um, uh, your arm's right - your arm's down - I THINK YOU'RE MISSING SOMETHING

>> No.29947028


>"That's alright, I'll just borrow yours~"

>> No.29947036

Now no need to overreact, she's armless.

>> No.29947337


What a waste of a pint.

>> No.29947357

That's not a pint, that's obviously a jug.

3 of them to be exact

>> No.29947498

what the fuck is vampire glenn danzig doing in my fantasy tavern

get the fuck out vampire glenn danzig you are clearly not going to give me any quests

>> No.29947508

Fuck Valentines Day

>> No.29947515

Best new couple 2013

>> No.29947584 [DELETED] 


I could be your valentine anon.

>> No.29947608

Careful, you should spoiler that.
Get a partner to lewd with you that day! Or better yet, two.

>> No.29947626

You should delete that. Nipples are a bannable offense on blue boards.

>> No.29947662

Is she trying to rip her mouth with a chocolate bar?

>> No.29947700 [SPOILER] 


>Best new couple


>> No.29947716

I don't understand this reference.

>> No.29947735

Kristoff, Anna, and Elsa from Frozen. Anna and Elsa are sisters and royalty.

>> No.29947754


Kristoff looks confused.

The bad kind of confused.

>> No.29947795


He's wondering why the reindeer hasn't mounted him yet.

>> No.29947825


>tfw never will be this cute

>> No.29947861

>those jpeg artifacts
>on png

>> No.29947878


Just made up a new character after being filled with lustful thoughts towards various royal beauties.

Hit me up if you want to suffer the inevitable betrayal of having someone with the title of vizier on your staff!

>> No.29947905

The artifacting could be from a low resolution video, and not from image file conversion.

>> No.29947913

>most of what you do isn't actually related to the traditional or gaming forms of roleplaying.
Well, it's called erp for a reason.
We roleplay exclusively almost, split 75/25 erp to regular rp.
We're allowed to be here, and we limit ourselves to the weekends to make it easier on people like you.

>> No.29948001

>Putting together a new character on F-list.

>> No.29948011

Dear /tg/
What is your opinion of a kobold character with a size fetish?

>> No.29948047


I have a size fetish. So my answer is: Cool.

>> No.29948060

Do it.

>> No.29948081

You ever get that feeling that someone has a cool character that you really like the idea of but then they actually RP and it's like 'blerr'.

I should start RPing as other people's characters for their potential disappointees.

>> No.29948082

>...Uh... do you mind?
>Not at all. (turns page)

>> No.29948107

The DVD isn't out yet.

>> No.29948147

What kind of size fetish?

>> No.29948154

I have an idea I would like to try.

Find a sub who is willing to create their ideal dom for their partner and a dom willing to create their ideal sub, then both go at it.

Is this less fun than it sounds to me?

>> No.29948177

Not so much fun until shit actually goes on, I think.

>> No.29948205

Seems like it may require some good improvising skills and maybe some limitations, I might still try it sometime.

>> No.29948317

Boring as fuck.

>> No.29948406

If I'm looking for monster girl roleplayers, should I say I want furries?

I mean in some cases I guess monster girls can be considered furry, but furries in general just don't have the same feel that I find in monster girls.

>> No.29948421


I like my partners to be a substantially different size. Anything from a few feet to more extreme differences. I'm flexible.

>> No.29948430


Just say furrys and/ or humans and then outline in your custom kinks exactly what you are looking for.

>> No.29948461

This was something I was wondering about myself.

Like, if I have no interest in the entire Furry scene, but happen to be cool with assorted fantasy setting creatures...

>> No.29948472

As do I. I'm not really one for 'hyper' or 'macro' or any of that jazz. I prefer more... 'realistic' sizeplay, I guess. Like dragons and stuff. Things that are supposed to be substantially larger than you.

>> No.29948473

If you stick to /tg/ chat, you can put some furries, humans preferred and then in your kinks put monster girls as a kink. If any of the furries on /tg/ chat ask to RP, just tell them you're not interested in playing with any furries, just monster girls and they'll leave you alone.

>> No.29948484



Furries imply something completely different than " I want a Satyr."

>> No.29948497

Is there any place where I can read ERP logs?

>> No.29948522

He clearly has no idea what he's...

Oh, I get it.

>> No.29948526

Well, yeah, but the only option that doesn't say Furries are ok in some way are 'Humans only, no furries'.

Which is kind of exclusionary when one is playing in a setting with sapient things other than humans.

And, of course, it's just one profile tag, but it's still kind of a big one, from what I can tell, to be leaving blank.

>> No.29948527


Right, but when searching profiles someone who is playing a monster of choice is going to click "humans or furries" on their filter. So don't get yourself filtered out, and then in your profile detail exactly what you are looking for.

>> No.29948555

Depends on what you mean by assorted fantasy setting creatures.
Satyrs, centaurs, and other "mostly human" races?
No. I wouldn't do that.
Gnolls, lizardfolk, dragons, and bird men? Yeah. Just put beastfolk in your faves and "modern day" anthros in your "no"s.

>> No.29948585


Ideally, you put human and then explain your interest in non-human creatures.

I mean the whole furry genre is so weird and specific that I doubt kitsune or lizardfolk would fit in it.

>When I think furry, I think "totally not human but they wear clothes and have full heads of hair."

>Also knots.

>> No.29948592


What about ogres?

>> No.29948593

>> No.29948600

Did someone say "monstergirl?" I could've sworn I heard someone say "monstergirl."


>> No.29948609

Hmm, I figured as much, but wasn't certain. Thanks for the advice. (Not the person who posted the Unicorn girl, btw, someone else who'd been wondering that here)

>> No.29948626


>tfw no qt3.14 bar wench that you have a crush on, but are too shy to ask out because of all the attention from drunken adventurers she gets.

>> No.29948649

Shrek pls
I'm not too big on ogres as far as monsters go. As long as they aren't too ugly or have too 'muscular human' of a build I can deal. Of course, if he kidnapped me then I'd have no choice but to submit~

>> No.29948659


>> No.29948667 [DELETED] 

Here's a dilemma that came up in my pen and paper game tonight for my party to solve. Interested to know what /tg/ would have done in their situation?


>> No.29948689

>tfw you like your character and other peoples' characters, the things you imagine them doing to each other and you even like RPing but when it actually comes down to ERPing it just feels awkward and wrong.

>> No.29948690


>tfw you sit there and watch as a Half-Orc barbarian flirts with her before picking her up, plopping her onto your table, and taking her then and there.
>tfw when the party finishes in and on her, bar patrons idly show envy for "your front-row seats."

>> No.29948692

Here's a dilemma that came up in my pen and paper game tonight for my party to solve. Interested to know what /tg/ would have done in their situation?


>> No.29948716

This happened to me once, I was talking to her once, her words are "I wish I had a bf to sun bathe with". I should of asked her out then and there.
Time machine when?

>> No.29948718


>futa loli virtually begging to have some sense banged into her

There is only one correct answer here.

>> No.29948723

Stopped caring when it started happen.
The baker's daughter is still pure though. Maybe I'll put a loaf in her oven...

>> No.29948733

I've got an image for you~.

>> No.29948734

>The baker's daughter is still pure though.

Baker's nephew already popped that top a long time ago.

>> No.29948735

>you will never have a rural medieval village ERP

>> No.29948752

>Love sucking cock
>Only random 'is secretly a demon' or infaltionists convo me

I just want to suck some dick

why is it so hard

>> No.29948770


I'd join a rural medieval village ERP with you, anon.

>> No.29948781

>when you know the source of that image

>> No.29948787

B-but I'm an ERP scrub

>> No.29948790

Someday, Anon.
You always have LARP, and I heard the rumors...

>> No.29948798

I'd join one.
And then get burned at the stake for being gay ;_;

>> No.29948810


It's already ogre.

Any problem if it's a she?

>> No.29948820


There's nothing wrong with that, anon. There's a first time for everything, after all.

>> No.29948826


Yeah that is the ideal. But this is basically a search program and advertisements and you don't want to get filtered out. So make your searchable wide and you profile more narrow to what you want.

>> No.29948829

>work on Baker's Apprentice (who is part of the family business) continues...

>> No.29948847


>> No.29948852

Secret homofaggery

How exciting

>> No.29948865

Medieval doesn't mean non-fantasy where only heteros are allowed.
Just docile characters in a low-tech(possibly high magic?) small village

>> No.29948879


Yeah, in the end they couldn't reach a decision, so they just had sex with her.

>> No.29948883

I-is it wrong that I want to play a dominating Elsa with a cock between her legs and a nice, hairless ballsack hanging heavily beneath it?

>> No.29948897

Are you a gay dude or a girl?

>> No.29948913

>sullying such p/u/rity with a rude appendage like that

>> No.29948922

Eh, sorry, but yeah. I prefer my size fetishism the other way. Large male dom with a small male/female sub.

>> No.29948935

>Medieval doesn't mean non-fantasy where only heteros are allowed.

You do realize the whole "homosexuality is forbidden love" angle is really hot, right?

You will never persuade your love to try sodomy behind the barn.

You will never be the town pervert watching it all in the bushes.

>> No.29948936

W-whatever you w-want me to be, Anon~!

>> No.29948969


That's okay anon. I hope you find somebody!

>> No.29948972

>you will never punish the village homosexual

>> No.29948997

Speaking of monster girls, what do you guys think of a wizard apprentice who fucks around with monster girls behind his master's back and then plays it off as a way of studying their anatomy?

>> No.29948999

I figured as much. I just wanted to make the joke.
I would be interested in something like that though. Especially if fantasy races are allowed.
But I've never ERPd before...

Oh gosh. Would he be stuck in the stockades and when night comes, the men of the village come outside to have their way with him?

>> No.29949008

A fair point, but it's your ass to be worried about, not mine.

>> No.29949017

I wanna tell some of my kinkier friends about f-chat just so they can know how fun it is, they love rp and sex so I'm sure they'd love it.

Then again, it would be weird to think that I could be RPing getting brutally throatfucked by one of my best friends as a demonic orc.

Or would it?

Maybe I already have, and just don't know!


>> No.29949023


>> No.29949028

>with your dick
>you will never call him a faggot while giving him a reach around
>you will never realize your true sexuality and hide him from angry villagers in your bed

>> No.29949033

I-I have barely ERPed before either.

>> No.29949051

>Someone asks this in hot RP
>Instantly drop spaghetti

>> No.29949054

Depends on the relationship between the apprentice and the monster girls, and in turn the master.

>> No.29949070


Maybe the kobold in question could link their profile?

>> No.29949072

I hope you find someone too!

>> No.29949079

That's pretty misoginyst of you, anon

>> No.29949087


>What if the raging homosexual is actually a girl dressed up as a guy.

>> No.29949090

I didn't mean like that. I meant what your character is. If you're playing a gay dude, expect it to be difficult for finding a cock to suck (or at least a cock from a guy.
Most of the dudes who want their dick sucked want girls to do the nasty work.

>> No.29949095

Ok listen here you little shit. Babies are fucking stupid and therefore can't meaningfully consent to having their cocks stolen. You have to give that shit back. However, in the interest of fairness, they owe you some fucking gumballs.

What we're going to do once you return those cocks you scammed those idiot babies out of is we're going to wait a bit, find you a nice transwoman volunteer, painlessly removing her cock and saving her the trouble of getting expensive surgery and shit.

Also why the fuck don't you people have female paladins just let her be a paladin fuck. Can you even justice.

>> No.29949103

She'd have to be pretty flat, wouldn't she?

>> No.29949116

Don't say shit like that, anon. That's fucking gay. I want a pair of balls bouncing up and down as I fuck that ass. I want to see spurts of cum splattering on the floor. A tomboy just can't provide me with those needs.

>> No.29949129


Depends, it's not too hard to hide a moderately sized bust or girlish hips.

>> No.29949135

You have my attention.

>I've never ERPd
>I-I have barely ERPed before either.

First time for everything, now kiss.

>> No.29949138

I'm still writing it! I've never done this before...

>> No.29949149

As someone that enjoys having a laugh at things, I might know a wizard guy willing to be the oblivious master. But only if he get the chance to bang some mature monster women on the side and he acts all hyprocitical about it.

Or something equally comical. I'm not very good in making up funny scenarios, admit.

>> No.29949151

I prefer romance play with them. After all, monster girls are to be tenderly loved.

The master would probably be pissed that I'm shirking my magical studies for my monster girlfriend.

>> No.29949163


>She dresses up as a homosexual because she's developed a taste for anal, and all the guys she gets with think it's sinful.

>> No.29949174

>being another person that 'I've never ERPed' applies to, but having been too shy to contribute to that little conversation, even as you work on your character on the site

>> No.29949177



>> No.29949180

Is it weird that I usually have female characters, but imagine the scenario from the (often male) other character's point of view?

>> No.29949195

>About to enter a group game
>Spend like an hour working everything out
>Get to fetishes
>Mention I prefer foreplay vastly over sex
>DM gets frustrated, somehow seems to think lewd can only mean sex
>Try to explain that I just prefer the leadup
>Get told I won't be a good fit


>> No.29949196

>TFW your partner wants you to dirty-talk them out of character.

>> No.29949198


I'll be waiting. Would a male werewolf be to your tastes, or should I dust off my Naga?

>> No.29949204

>you will never fuck the bond girls

>> No.29949228

I actually have an idea for a fap fic that's along similar lines. Only the wizard is encouraging his apprentice so that he can understand "true adventure". It's also with male beastfolk instead of with monster girls. Regardless, great minds think alike.

>> No.29949241

I saved it thinking of you~.
Hope you find some uses for it.

You never know till you try, it's pretty fun.

>> No.29949257

But there's a problem with that logic. By dressing up as a homosexual, she only attracts homosexuals. Once she undresses the jig is up and she goes nowhere with her plan. She'd at the very least, need to grow a dick and balls.

>> No.29949280

A male werewolf would be very much to my taste!
How big is he?

>> No.29949295

Not if she only pulls her pants down enough to expose that ass while the homos are too turnt up to worry about anything else even if they accidently slip into her vagina

>> No.29949299

Well, like I said, I'm in the process of making a character. Though I do have more interest in a game group than the random hookup bits. In any case, I just worry about sucking (and not in a good way) and letting others down.

>> No.29949315

Also, bonus points if the master is banging the apprentice's mother-in-law. This is almost like my japanese doujins!

>> No.29949337


Only about 6'3" as a human, but the transformation easily adds at least a foot or two.


>> No.29949338

>>DM gets frustrated, somehow seems to think lewd can only mean sex
Goddamnit Lorkhan what is wrong with you.

>> No.29949366

I'm gay and I accept this as a fetish. We need more flat-chested reverse traps seeking to trick some buff homo men.

>> No.29949374


She's able to make a very convincing argument that a hole's a hole.

>> No.29949426

I was the same when I started out, just do your best, people will love your typing.

>> No.29949473

>tfw no idea how I would go about organising something with my fellow lewd villagers

>> No.29949524

Bring your tents into a field and fuck?

>> No.29949531


Your lies are always so sweet to hear.

>> No.29949539

Meeting hall extravaganza?

>> No.29949554


>> No.29949555

Check the Weekly Smut Thread here on /tg/. Also...(copy pasted from the Weekly Smut Thread):

Good weekend WST! Just posting my modest collection of goods. They are all ERP sessions over the internet with other people. Forgive me if they seem a bit clumsy. I'm still a novice but I enjoyed my part in writing them. I hope you like them!

"In the Eyes of Gods and Men" by Jaagi and Eirik Audunsson is about a forced marriage between two reluctant members of rival clans. (Barbarian x Barbarian)


"Elven Ways" by Jaagi and Eirik Audunsson is a continuation of "In the Eyes of Gods and Men". The two newlyweds share some moments alone on the way to their new home. (Barbarian x Barbarian)


"Blind Date" by Jaagi and Alagor Bertram is about a blind date between a barbarian and a mage, opposites who discover a certain attraction. (Barbarian x Wizard)


"Communion" by Jaagi and Gorin is about a dark cultist taking advantage of a barbarian's baser instincts. (Barbarian x Cultist)


"After Hours" by Valentina and Sathsarrion is a short session about an engineer and his cyborg companion partaking of certain activities in an effort to feel human. (Human x Fem-Cyborg)


I started posting my logs from the WST since I was worried about cluttering up the ERP General, but I'm happy to share when I see people ask.

>> No.29949576

Nonono, trust me on this one, he's right. I felt the same way at first. Now I'm being told I make an amazing slut, and I didn't even realize it!
Do your best, anon!

>> No.29949588


I meant OOC

>> No.29949611

As long as my words motivate people to have fun, that is all that matters.

>> No.29949629

Ah... sorry. I guess I never mentioned at any point that the kobold in question is a male. Sorry!

>> No.29949643

So did I~.

>> No.29949680


>> No.29949687

Open up an IRC chat and see who pops in?

>> No.29949693


yeah sure, thanks for that.

>> No.29949727


Ah, blast. ...I-I'm not 100% sure on that, if you're a good match I might make an exception...

>> No.29949744

Shame I don't use IRC or know how to work it.

>> No.29949768

Go to Mibbit.

Launch app.

Sever is Rizon.

Channel is #1001Lewd_Nights.

There. That's fucking it.

>> No.29949798


I haven't really watched any kids movies in a long time; so me and my friends got together and watched a bootlegged Frozen and Tangled.

I've been a horsefucker for a long time.

Maximus, dat reigndeer, the prince guy's horse.

God damn.

>> No.29949811

Is that Ymir?

>> No.29949820

>Go to chat.mibbit.com
>click the connect dropdown
>choose rizon
>enter username
>enter channel #1001Lewd_Nights
>click connect

In case you need it all spelled out for you.

>> No.29949831

O- Oh gosh. I'll try and get this finished right away! There's a lot of stuff to go through...

>> No.29949850

It's a very lewd movie with music.

>> No.29949855


Don't make the mistake I did with my first profile and fill out absolutely every kink. Just fill out the ones you're especially interested or disinterested in.

>> No.29949886

Oh god, that gif... I, uh... I need to go watch. You know. Thing.

>> No.29949914 [SPOILER] 

I still need to watch The Thing.

>> No.29949959


>> No.29949980


>> No.29950002

>browse /tg/
>see ERP general
>m-maybe I could try it again
>read the thread, join the different channels
>check out some different logs, characters
>reflect on how elaborate and great their writing is compared to mine (at least when it comes to lewd things)
>reflect on myself being a virgin so I don't even really know what I'm talking about
>don't really know how to get things going or even what to do if I did
>give up

>> No.29950048


I'm a virgin and have been ERPing for over a year and have been writing erotic fanfiction for multiple years.

Honestly writing shitty fanfiction, especially when you're younger, really does help with your writing, ERP, and roleplaying skills in general.

>> No.29950058

I'm a virgin, plan on dying one, and I've written fapfics for other 4channers before, you just need an imagination is all.

>> No.29950070

Virgin here. Doesn't stop me from lewding.

>> No.29950071

I pretty much lurked these threads for quite a while now and put something together on the guideline some other lewd people provided.


Please be gentle.

>> No.29950130


All I have wanted in life is a huge breasted girlfriend who would lactate.

Currently my girlfriend has big boobs and is willing to, but they are not huge boobs :( Beyond that she is no where near sexual enough.

>> No.29950132


Give it a try. Just don't give it a try as a human male character.

>> No.29950147

>Literally cannot get aroused because of someone else's RP

You have no idea of knowing you did it, but I want you to know that I utterly hate you.

>> No.29950163

Why not a human male character?

>> No.29950184


Oh my~.
I'll get my tent.

>> No.29950196


A good start. I think if you add some more custom kinks and regular, some more information about what type of partners you are looking for, and flesh out and add to your scenarios it would help it a lot.

>> No.29950200

Because you have to jump through fifty fucking hoops.

>> No.29950206

>Just don't give it a try as a human male character.
Too bad, that's all I play. Welll, sometimes female.

>> No.29950223

>the when you were the illeterate dirty kid in school and the only shit you wrote was a story about heir to the throne being raised by the red riding hood and robin hood and eventually grew up to bash the big bad wolf's skull in with a lead pipe accompanied by two retarded characters from another school assignment
>or a story based around tomb raider 2's plot, but with lara and pandoras box replaced by a second rate A-team and and giant snail death god

>> No.29950229

Man, I'm a virgin and let me tell you, NO ONE CARES. In fact, it's actually an advantage: you can be really lewd, because you don't know the actual limits of what you can do.
Go for it!

>> No.29950237

Try banging her silly, Anon. Ease into it, but make it more frequent.

>> No.29950244


I have made a human male character at it takes a lot of above and beyond work to make a human male character interesting. There are a lot of negative feelings about human male characters and f-list being what it is tends to skew in favor of exotic characters.

So if you make a human may expect to do a lot of extra work, put in a lot of extra thought, and be prepared for a lot of indifference and rejection.

I am still working to improve mine but have not gotten any bites or hell, I haven't ever got any feedback or criticism. It is rough, but I will stick with it.

>> No.29950246

So, I'm about 15 minutes into Frozen. I'm not going to pretend the tears I've had so far are manly.

>> No.29950252

I'm pretty much game with any partner and don't have much for preferences there.
Will go for some more kinks and that fleshing out though.

Thank you!

>> No.29950323

Do any of the people who earlier expressed an interest in a medieval village (e)rp want to try and start something?

I tried creating a channel on Rizon. #Medieval/tg/

>> No.29950353

Have fun.

>> No.29950416

In for a penny.

>> No.29950427


I do bang her. She just gets in these weird phases where she doesn't want sex for two weeks.

It's brutal. Sex is also really vanilla.

>> No.29950477

Tempting but I'd wait maybe until there were a number of males and females

>> No.29950491

>She just gets in these weird phases where she doesn't want sex for two weeks.
That's called a 'period.'

>> No.29950498

>She just gets in these weird phases where she doesn't want sex for two weeks.

That's not weird. That's normal.

>> No.29950543


Not counting her period, thank you for your fedora opinion. A period lasts under a week, and in my girlfriend's case she can cum by breast stimulation.

She just doesn't want to do anything sexual half the month and we always get in a massive fight over it.

>> No.29950551


>tfw /d/eviant gf who wants sex twice a day and comes out with something exotic and potentially painful to try once a week

Be careful what you wish for, anon.

>> No.29950561

Why does this happen to me all the time.

Hmm, not sure how to help with that one, maybe Dom her?

>> No.29950563


>> No.29950581

>and in my girlfriend's case she can cum by breast stimulation.

>> No.29950608

Wait 'till you see her walking out of the palace in her new "Ice Queen" outfit, hips swaying. Dayum.

>> No.29950611

Yeah, that's still probably PMS. It's an actual condition, and it will be in the period of time before and after her period. Loss of sex drive, irritability, mild depression, along with the normal physiological symptoms like breast soreness and cramping. It's not so much a 'fedora opinion' as what a woman who loses her sex drive for half the month probably actually is suffering from.

Though I will admit I was crudely over-succinct before, and I apologize for that.

>> No.29950624

I very much wish for that ._.
She's not really into aggressive dominance stuff.
I think the word you're looking for is "amazing".

>> No.29950626

>twice a day
Is that, like, a lot? I always hear that hitting it 2-5 times a day on average is a lot when me or my girlfriend bring up our sex lives, but I can never get a straight answer on what's 'normal.'

>> No.29950629

It's really not very weird. It's pretty darn normal.

I know I'm just reiterating what the person I quoted said, but, you know, it needed to be.

That's just life. Everyone has different sex drives, everyone's different, it's just how it is.

>> No.29950639

There is no "normal". Everybody is different.

>> No.29950640

I'm up for that, but I'm a domme.

>> No.29950657

Fine, then 'average?' You knew what I meant.

>> No.29950659


...still around?

>> No.29950676


I'm not talking about orgasms; I'm talking about boning to exhaustion. It legitimately gets in the way of other things that I want to do during the day.

>> No.29950688

Yeah, sorry. Found a link to the Draconomicon and ended up getting distracted by trying to come up with a good dragon language name.

>> No.29950705

hit it 2-5 times for the first tcpuple months with my wife. Down to 4-5x a week now.

>> No.29950722

I am now curious...how do you 'properly treat' a loli?

>> No.29950734

I'm not talking about orgasms either. We'll sometimes slip away to a restroom or changing room somewhere and find out an hour or more has passed by the time we're done too. It can be problematic, sure, but if I'm going to be honest, it's a lot more fun than anything else I might have been doing anyway.

>> No.29950768

I think I had to invent a new fetish for my profile, hemherroid-popping farts.

>> No.29950774

>She's not really into aggressive dominance stuff.
Maybe a little light bondage.
Hold her in place on the bed, you can guess where this would go to next.

>> No.29950881

It's gone down for me.

>> No.29950932


>> No.29950939


She doesn't like that, either.

>> No.29950951

Weird, it's working for me and the other guy.

It does say you got "ping timeout: 240 seconds" though.

>> No.29950953

And I read that as farting pop tarts.

>> No.29950972

Well she's no fun, what kind of things does she like, if you don't mind me asking.

>> No.29950996

Well, keep working it out and I'll try later.

>> No.29951056

Ping timeout means your client didn't respond to the server for 240 seconds. Which means your internet a shit usually.

>> No.29951106

It may not help that steam is updating something, stealing all the internet.
And the county side is the worst for internet.

>> No.29951167

>father-daughter incest
>unwitting father-daughter incest

>> No.29951189

Looking for friends to play with.

>> No.29951223

>want to do pic related
>every loli is a submissive blob

I guess I didn't need to have fun.

>> No.29951236

"Hey, Booker, I wanna try this thing called hand holding. Do you think you can help me with it?"

>> No.29951284

Uppity lolis get punched in the gut until they cry and puke

>> No.29951289


Farting so hard, you pop a hemorrhoid, blood and pus goes everywhere as they scream in agony and respond accordingly.

>> No.29951340

>reflect on myself being a virgin
You're kidding right
You actually think most of the people in here have ever had sex?

>> No.29951344


>> No.29951351

I thought I had heard it all. I obviously haven't. Whatever gets your rocks off though.

>> No.29951515

Anything is possible. Even a very strange and smelly person I know has managed to have sex because he has no standards.

>> No.29951517

>Post profile
>Get a bit of helpful advice
>Get bookmarked twice as well

I do feel pretty good about my character now.
Thanks /tg/.

>> No.29951593

Fun fact: (I'm about to use spoilers in an /erpg/ thread to actually disguise some spoilers, oh shit! See how I need to make this statement so you know the spoiler tags will contain spoilers for once? This is why we can't have nice things! Like spoiler tags!) The ending of Bioshock Infinite shows that in-setting, the multiverse theory is correct, and that there are in fact infinite versions of Liz and Booker in infinite versions of Rapture and Colombia in infinite different circumstances. This means that all Bioshock: Infinite porn is canon. Every bit of it. Every bit of fanfiction. Every single Booker/Elizabeth wincest fantasy. Completely, totally canon.

>> No.29951594


It is an interesting concept and I am curious to see what you do with it when you flesh it out a bit more.

>> No.29951602

Are you still here...? I am terrible sorry for taking so long.

>> No.29951641


Quite nicely pent-up, but yes. Progress?

>> No.29951664


>> No.29951954

New character straight out of the oven!

An orc that fought his way out of prejudice to become the captain of the imperial cavalry! Outside his gruff serious exterior, there's a guy that just wants to celebrate his victories in battle by indulging himself with some fine green ladies!


>> No.29952033

>>getting the smalltalk "how are you"
>>As a guy [from a guy]

Now I know how much it sucks for gals.

>> No.29952089

Most women seem to love to just talk nonsense and about themselves though.

>> No.29952122

This. Small talk from men is terse and dull. From women, it's incessant and obnoxious.

>> No.29952159


That's puff the magic dragon levels of depressing inception.

>> No.29952186

>not starting on Dragonforce mode


>> No.29952187

Man, I could tell you some stories about incessant and obnoxious small talk from men that NEVER FUCKING STOPS.

It exists, believe me.

>> No.29952188

I like to ask grills how their days been.
I must be weird.

>> No.29952221

>small talk between dudes
>nuthin' much
>nice and quiet
>so anyway

>> No.29952237

Speaking of which, how can I make a human male more 'interesting'? What are some things I can do to make my character more attractive to play with?

>> No.29952251

You should try me on MDMA, I can't shut the fuck up.

>> No.29952257

H- here I go...

>> No.29952266

Step 1: Make a canon character who is human and male like Sherlock Holmes or someone else played by whatever actor is popular right now.

Step 2: Be half-competent as a writer.

Step 3: Join #GayMales

Step 4: Profit.

True hardmode is playing a male furry that isn't a beastman.

>> No.29952310

Get an image, possibly the one you cropped for your portrait. I don't even f-list but I know the next person will say the same,

>> No.29952311

Give your profile a lot of love.
Custom kinks, pics, the works.

>> No.29952315

Like you even need to go that far. In my experience, gay males have the lowest standards.

>> No.29952387


It is a bit late on this thread. But if you look in the last thread from yesterday there was a lot of good advice given.

Here it is:


>> No.29952456

I gave this guy a criminal background and a wish to return to that simpler time. Good so far? Can I improve?

>> No.29952529


Add some potential scene hooks to show what your a looking for / can be creative. Add a few more custom kinks and maybe trim you "no" list down if you can. Apparently a fair amount of people are turned off by big no list.

>> No.29952545

>Outside his gruff exterior
Damnit, why did I wrote that, now Anon will think I'm under influence or something.

>> No.29952566

Is that a problem?

It's supposed to be an incredibly vague interpretation of Princess: The Hopeful (for which he was made) and like Kingdom Hearts or something. Basically to make him easily compatible with other back stories/worlds and such.

>> No.29952568

>Tfw you and another player will never play a couple of cool barbarian battle-bros (of whatever gender pairing) wandering a savage land, laying or slaying foul monsters and evil sorcerers and gathering a harem of conquered women at your feet while fistbumping and fucking a couple of slavegirls atop your mound of wealth.

>> No.29952576

>big no list
Elaborating on this and speaking only for myself, I do like when people have a bit of meat on their No lists since it means they have thought about the shit they are and aren't interested in. It just shouldn't be the longest list or anything.

>> No.29952606

I love my bros but I just don't know about fucking alongside them. It seems weird.

>> No.29952622

If I still had my gay kobold I'd have him be gay with your gay kobold. I'll bookmark you in case I make him again.

>> No.29952681

>not wanting to be rance's brother

>> No.29952698

>Preparing for my triumphant return just kidding, only like three people from /tg/ ever RP'd with me
>Working on a new character to return with
>Cannot find the art I need
I'm so close to just paying me to draw something for me.
the only thing preventing me is crushing poverty

>> No.29952707

I have a lady barbarian for whom I have a canon list of items she has successfully looted. However she's heavily into the combination of ladies and bloodsplosions so I doubt it would work.

>> No.29952733

try the drawfag threads

>> No.29952752


Note is sent, if you haven't seen it already.

>> No.29952922

What if your bro is your loyal futanari amazon warrioress companion who respects you after you defeated her in battle and claimed your right to fuck her as the victor?

>> No.29953010

I think I sent a note back in response?

>> No.29953024

>roll new profile
>get three notes
>all along the lines of "I'm expressing interest." and little else, no ideas, no compliments, no nothing

Should I just ignore them and keep angling?

>> No.29953044

I know I'm late to the 'straight human male' party, but I'll post here anyway!
Tips/comments would be nice. I've tried to keep things simple so as not to scare people off.

>> No.29953083

If you like their profile too and wish to strike something up then feel free to respond. If not then take the compliment for what it is and move on.

>> No.29953159

I have an incest-based Aunt/MILF character so I get a lot of messages and notes out of the blue and the vast majority of them are terse messages like that that give me no reason to be intrigued and continue on to read their profile.

I feel like most of these people must have awful resumes, giving how bad they are at even pretending they're interesting.

>> No.29953336

Sounds like you want ass kissing more than lewds.

>> No.29953413


What about the story I wrote where Songbird is an actual massive bird-monster that wildly fucks the effeminate rule 63'd version of Liz?

>> No.29953542

We'd need to see it before we can pass judgement.

>> No.29953564

100% canon.

>> No.29953628

Is there a way to view a list of everyone you've bookmarked?

>> No.29953645

Actually I would be interested in seeing more details on him if there are any. I think our characters might get along. Hit me up if you're interested.

>> No.29953665

Front page. Left side. There's a bunch of tabs. Bookmarks is one of them. It has the list of all the people you're following.

>> No.29953690

click the blue fox thing at the top left. it will be on the left, second option from the top

>> No.29953711

Thanks. Can't believe I didn't spot that.

>> No.29953937

I know that feel bro.
The thing though for me is even when I do make female characters I just can't get as into it. Thinking of the concept is fun as ever but going into the same amount of detail I'd put into a male character just seems forced. Getting nearly 5 times the rp with a female character that is blank aside from a concept and customs than I have with a fleshed out male is a little depressing though.

Posting anyway for any helpful critique or potential rp partners.


Only thing that comes to mind is adding more customs, scenario tab, and definitely finding better fitting pics.

>> No.29953977

Will do. I'm busy at the moment, but expect a note within a couple of days.

>> No.29954075

Sweet googly moogly, I want all that rice

>> No.29954668

Canon. Rule 63s are canon too, as proven by the Lutece "twins".

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