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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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29904337 No.29904337 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Congrats /tg/, the Ruinus Powers want to thank you for staying on 4chan, where you fap, rage, lie and do nothing productive

You have earned your choice of Loyal Daemon Bride, each comes with it's own chaos boon for you two.

For the Choice, pick one assuming A) They are only marginally like their god and reasonably sane, and B) full chaos mind, attributes of their god

With each pick you also get the following boons
Khorne: Mega endurance, you can run, fight for hours on end

Slaanesh: Fancy Appendage, your choice of 3' extending tongue, strong crab claw or slimy moist tentical.

Nurgle: You have accepted life for what it is, and have moved on. You care little for pain as it's just apart of life, and don't get depressed

Tzeench: Limited Magic of Change: You can change small/mundane objects into small mundane objects of similar value, I.e. A pen to pencil. 1 dollar to 4 quarters, apples to oranges

>> No.29904359

Purge the unclean.

>> No.29904392
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Taking Slaan for one with tounge (because that is just fun as fuck)

Nurglette for 2 since Unclean Ones are really nice to be around, especially with out pain

>> No.29904433

Tzeech for the cool power

Slaan if full daemon and I'll take the tentical

>> No.29904492
File: 249 KB, 500x500, 1207611313532.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Saying no to Tzeench

>> No.29904523

It bothers me that the slaaneshi demon is least attractive.

I have to pick the Tzeentch gril, though the Bloodletter is a very close second.

>> No.29904545
File: 235 KB, 600x600, 1195946378988.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

No thanks OP, I already got my waifu Isha

>> No.29904546


Anyone who doesn't pick Tzeentch is an idiot.


Each dollar can be converted into 100 pennies. Each penny weighs about 2.5g. So now you have 250g of matter as opposed to a single gram. With enough money and time, you can violate entropy to the point where you're able to create anything from an endless supply of ammo to an actual black hole.

Yeah that's right. You're basically able to reshape the universe to your will via gravitational constants.

>> No.29904553

Tzeentch even though the bonus sucks compared to the others. Tzeentch has the rule of cool on his side, so I'll take my feathery waifu

>> No.29904575
File: 54 KB, 600x800, RDamonette.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>dem jugs
>dem qt glasses
>getting a super long tongue
You seeing ok bro?

>> No.29904581

Does she come with a penis?
This is important.

>> No.29904593

No longer getting depressed and having a waifu

>> No.29904598

Well fuck. I knew my faith would be rewarded someday

>> No.29904609

Slaaneshi girls come to order, of course
Dicks in this case would be the second (full chaos) form

>> No.29904612

I like you.

>> No.29904647

What about the khorne girl? She is the cutest.
The slaaneshi one looks like an alien ginger.

>> No.29904656
File: 497 KB, 737x1095, 1391122695914.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>No qt conservative GF who doesn't get worried about everything

>> No.29904680

I think I've got a personal problem, is all, Anon. Taking away proper noses is a huge turn-off for me...

It's pretty fucked up.

>> No.29904684

Get help, son
Ask your local Word Bearer

>> No.29904715


I wonder what the conversion rate from copper to gold is?

Say 1 dollar equals 250g of copper, which you can then convert to 250g of gold, which then converts back to a significantly bigger pile of dollars.

>> No.29904743

Turns out the girl saw this coming and turn the pennies into an equivilant into a single diamond just to fuck with you

>> No.29904769

As long as qt Slaneeshi waifu doesn't have a dick that's my choice.

and those glasses better come with her.

Nurglette will smell like an unholy abomination, Khornette will either be extremely abusive or into super BDSM shit, and Tzentch will be a crazy bitch who you will never get a straight answer from.

With Slaneeshi chick, you're still getting a crazy bitch, but you both know where you stand (crazy excess chick) so I can live with that. Especially if I can get this >>29904392

>> No.29904774
File: 244 KB, 597x822, 1336973610106.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Not Choosing the Daemonette
Best girl and power
Tongue me up

>> No.29904879
File: 193 KB, 1000x1500, dem unclean ones sfw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Nurglette will smell like an unholy abomination
1-She is an unholy abomination
2-So she can't complain about my neckbeard musk

>> No.29904926
File: 190 KB, 800x1157, knorne flakes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>no one for Khorne
That power alone is pretty dam good

>> No.29904958

So you want to bang the Nurgal girl?

>> No.29904989

A) Slaanesh- lewd waifu and a glorious tongue; who wouldn't?
B) Nurgle is the only choice I'd consider making; I don't want to get murdered, rapemurdered or planmurdered.

Tzeentch gets an honourable mention because exploitable boon, however I'd probably get justasplanned pretty fast, especially if she's actually a fucking chaos spawn.

>> No.29905003

Some of us actual know how to take a shower m8

>> No.29905015
File: 1.01 MB, 704x1344, 1389317011411.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


nurgle just so i can start shit and not feel pain

>> No.29905076

>Not chosing not to shower
>Not priding in your musk
You don't get the plaugefather

>> No.29905100

A) Khornette because -4STR
B) Tzeentchette because shenanigans

>> No.29905198

>implying i want heretical filth

>> No.29905213

Can't we have a Be'lakorette and have all the boons?

>> No.29905257
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My nigs

>> No.29905340

I'm actually going to go with Khorne here. I'm slightly into Dominant BDSM, so yeah. I think I'm set. (Also, Super Endurance. Build those natural muscles baby)

>> No.29905363

Would be nice to just let go and accept life for what it is.

Plus, I'm 100% Grandpapa Nugle anyway. Basically a foregone conclusion that the Nurglet is mine.

>> No.29905394

For those saying nurgle: Why can't you do that already?

>> No.29905398
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>> No.29905446

Because I've been depressed in my lifetime and it sometimes comes back
I've also become stressed and rather critical of other people, so it'd be nice to just accept people and things for what they are

>> No.29905516

For whatever reason it is difficult for me to accept life as it is. I chafe under its constraints and am depressed by the state of things in the world today.

Not to mention my underlying psychological disorders that I am not getting treatment for. But that is a whole other conversation.

And really, Nurgle is the closest God to achieving true Zen. And I like that. Near-Zen and passive victory.

>> No.29905575

Because no one cares about your redunant non-god

>> No.29905608

I do, but the fact I can't feel pain is great
and everybody gets a little sad

>> No.29905611

You're just afraid that my demonwife will kill your demonwife.

>> No.29905646

>you will never suck out rotten milk from her bloated motherly breasts
Oh who am I kidding, it would be creamchease considering how rotten it would be

>> No.29905650

Fear is for the loyalist scum.

>> No.29905686

Blue creamchease.
>c.: retitab noun

>> No.29905707

And yet traitors don't know no fear.

>> No.29905762
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Pic related

>> No.29905787
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>> No.29905838

Khorne waifu. With the mega endurance, we can lift and squat together for fucking hours, and get ripped to fuck.

>> No.29905907

+1 Curruption

>> No.29906167

Tzeench, that power isn't useful but it's convenient and cool

>> No.29906221

>we can lift and squat together for fucking hours
read as
>we can lift a squat together for fucking hours

>> No.29906346
File: 13 KB, 223x200, boner direct control.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Nurgle forever, may the blessed Plaguefather watch over our union until the end of time.

>> No.29906523

>Khorne: Mega endurance, you can run, fight for hours on end
>you can fuck for hours on end
Fixed that for you

Now it's time for me and my waifu to get drunk as hell and arm wrestle

>> No.29906582
File: 141 KB, 960x738, 1391127177426.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why would you want to fuck a Bloodletteret for hours on end?

>How'd you end up

>> No.29906593

>Khorne: Mega endurance, you can run, fight for hours on end
I become a professional MMA fighter with the blessing of Khorne, and get rich as fuck.

Then I go home and fuck my delicious khornette waifu all night long.

>> No.29906611

But muh mega endurance

If I drink lots of milk, it'll be okay, right?

>> No.29906649
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Who told you works?

>> No.29906673

*Who told you that works?

>> No.29906795

If I'm not bound by human limits I can train to be tougher than a spess muhreen. If I drink loads of milk I'll have the strongest bones.

Thinking about it, wouldn't a daemon of violence and strengths breast milk turn your bones into steel or some shit?

>> No.29906818

Khorne / endurance
Slannesh / I want to molest her with my tentacle.

>> No.29906827

It might. But at the same time, its "milk" from a Bloodletteret. There's no telling what affect it'll have on you.

She might not even lactate.

>> No.29906831

We all die eventually, anon. Can you imagine a better end than succumbing to fatigue and injuries after hours of continuously fucking a beautiful daemon?

>> No.29906846

>She might not even lactate
Then how is babby fed?

>> No.29906856

She's a Khornate daemon; her "breast milk" is probably blood.

>> No.29906859


>> No.29906868

Works for me

>> No.29906925

>implying daemons have offsrping

>> No.29906958

How is daemon formed?

How warp get preggant?

>> No.29906978


>> No.29906980

From the souls of the god's dead followers.

>> No.29906987

>Super busty
>Never depressed
Easy choice for me

>> No.29907016

And don't forget, Brother Nurglite, the annual Grandpapa Nurgle family picnic in his garden.

See you there!

>> No.29907060

>annual Grandpapa Nurgle family picnic in his garden.
I am concerned as to what this entails

>> No.29907090

>papa nurgle
Checkmate atheists

>> No.29907094

Normal family picnic stuff.

Sack race, bobbing for plague-apples, pin the feathers on the Lord of Change, food, drink, fun.

>> No.29907140

They need to way instain gods who kill their daemons because these daemon can't frigth back? It was sent through the warp this mroing, a god in the Ream of Brass and Blod who had kill his own dameons. My pary are with the prince, who had lots his minions. I am truly sorry for your lots.

>> No.29907147

I meant more the contents of the food and drink.
Although that doesn't sound too bad
Assuming my crippling social anxiety will be gone

>> No.29907164

>Khorne: Mega endurance, you can run, fight for hours on end
> not picking this
> not fucking your at demon bride for days on end

>> No.29907173

Is this even a choice?

Tzeentch babe all the way.

>> No.29907187

>the contents of the food and drink
Mostly the leftovers from last year. Sure it's been sitting out for a while, but I'm sure it's still good.

>> No.29907201

Depends on what Grandpapa is feeling for this year. Last year it was a Luau of sorts. Just gotta watch for the Nurglings trying to make off with your food.

As for your social anxiety, everyone is welcome. Just come and you'll have a good time.

>> No.29907222
File: 142 KB, 800x1050, Tzeentchette.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Can I get a Tzeentchette more like this?

Dem soft black wings, dat translucent skirt, dem eyes, etc.

>> No.29907242

Ya papa Nurgle and the boys are nice as all hell

>> No.29907272

Khorne, Khornette is my waifu.

>> No.29907277

I want to shove my tent oval into my slaaneshi wife

>> No.29907318

Tenticale fucking auto correct
Tounge is fine too

>> No.29907319

Can I turn air (no value) to fire (no value)? Can I turn heluim atoms (no value) to alpha rays (no value)? Can I turn dick to cunt?

>> No.29907343

No, no and no
Stop being a fag

>> No.29907488

Is that some sort of mutant bobby/hank hill hybrid?

>> No.29907502

You're just upset because of your small mundane object.

>> No.29907510

No, but you can probably heat things
Not unless you also pick slaanesh

>> No.29907556

With the Tzeentch power, is there anything stopping me from turning simple things into complex things of equal size and volume? Like, could I turn ingredients directly into delicious food?

Because I have a pork shoulder sitting in the freezer and I really want some barbecue, but I don't feel like waiting a whole day to smoke it.

>> No.29907603

probably not, but I'd assume the smoked pork shoulder would be cold, probably tasty, but cold.

>> No.29907607

>Tzeench- Can break the laws of physics
>Slaanesh- Can't even become the girl

>> No.29907642

Delicious food has more market value than ingridients. ...Reversal can work though: turn cooked meat into more uncooked, cook, repeat. World hunger solved!

>> No.29907644

why on earth would slaanesh let you pick just one gender? if he wanted to he'd probably wind up making you both, but with only one tit.

>> No.29907653

What if you tried to force the Nurglette to take a shower?

what if it was shower sex?

>> No.29907675

That's what "experts choice" option B) is for, isn't it?

>> No.29907679

That's not pleasurable. Or anything close to perfect. A proper slaneeshi transformation would give you two sets of fully functional genitalia.

>> No.29907702

Enjoy your golden shower

>> No.29907704

why'd you just rewrite what I said?

>> No.29907711

Ugh, the split down the middle thing is fucking lame.

I miss old daemonettes.

>> No.29907722

I don't see why the Nurlette wouldn't shower.

But the water would be hazardous waste afterwards.

>> No.29907735

That's slaanesh

>> No.29907783


>> No.29907832

>So many hate sex marathons
>For the tongue, and then go on the road with a K.I.S.S. tribute band, and become sex god to match her when I come home

I don't know shit else except what I learned from here. Which is not much really but I want to make y'all proud.

>> No.29907877

Whichever one of them is most favorable towards /pol/ stuff.

>> No.29907894

Can the Slaaneshi daemonette have both a dick and a vagina?

>> No.29907896

Stay edgy.

>> No.29907915

Yes, but only one at a time.

>> No.29907948


Where do I sign?

>> No.29907964

The daemonette's tits

>> No.29908022

Khornette is qt as fug, but my day to day actions are more in line with nurgle. I don't know what to choose.

>> No.29908105

>only 2 sets of genitals
>not 5 dicks that all ejaculate cocaine

>> No.29908151

>five dicks that ejaculate cocaine
why not just modular genetalia?

>> No.29908236

I'll sign with my new Tenti-dick

>> No.29908307

can they still jizz crack?

>> No.29908420

>Take Tzneech.
>Walk into a parking lot.
>Find that one asshole who is double parked.
>Convert my car key (which cost me a ridiculous amount, seriously, never lose a modern car key, it cost me half as much as my smartphone) into their car key.
>Drive their car to a completely different part of the parking lot.
>Park it correctly.
>Walk away.


Seriously, i would do so much random harmless bullshit in the name of Tzneech, purely in accordance with his plan...

Of course, the downside to having a Tzneech-ian bride? Sex is so complicated that you may need a scorecard to tell what fetishes she needs you to fulfill now.

>> No.29908436

If you refuse Tzneech, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been...

it's all according to his plan.

>> No.29908473

Scorecard? You'll need a quantum chart in four dimensions in the bedroom telling you which holes need to be filled with what.

>> No.29908553
File: 137 KB, 659x576, 1390548159072.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Finally all those mornings where my weak gums started profusely bleeding at the touch of my toothbrush every morning have finally come to use!

>> No.29908685

A: Nurgle-bride. Chubby, possibly poor hygiene but I can remedy that by getting her to let me give her regular sponge-baths, and I'm never depressed. This is by far the best gift.

B:Khorne bride. With that kind of endurance I could get ripped enough to keep up with her and mitigate some of the downsides of a psychotic, murderous, violent girlfriend who lives for the chance to kill people.

>> No.29908777


Khorne: i would become a great runner and could probably make some money in track probably con: would wake up one day with her cutting my head off.

Nurgle: Wouldn't be bad. but not much of a change. con: would end up getting some kind of std from her but wouldn't care.

slanesh: 3' moist soft tentacle means i could make it big in porn. Con: she's going to scar the shit out of me during sex with her claws.

Tzench: usless power for the most part might be decent to become a famous magician. con: sooner or later she's going to screw you over and/or sacrafice you to summon demons.

>> No.29908918

Car key for car key
That is a non-overkill way of using the power
well done

>> No.29908925

Tzeench girl obviusly. Our valetine would be try to out troll the other

>> No.29908940

That is actually pretty awesome

>> No.29909013

The real fun is figuring out how many small, palm sized things it would take to result in a complete change on a planetary level...

You know that old Franklin story... "for want of a nail?"

Tiny... cheap... an an entire (metaphorical) war was lost because of one.

Give me the time, and her help, and ill find the one nail... to cause... change!

>> No.29909098
File: 106 KB, 500x1188, 1388476218223.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Slaanesh is the best option by far
>futa wife and ultra tongue
I assume she has a Claw/tounge/tentical too?

Nurgle is a close second

>> No.29909241
File: 297 KB, 828x547, radical.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Agreed I'll be happy to hold claws

>> No.29909278
File: 28 KB, 500x368, 1389730030187.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

> Tzeentch gf
> Go to local convenience store
> Change all condoms to broken Condoms
Change all disinfectant, lube, and liquids to capsaicin

>> No.29909301
File: 46 KB, 568x411, 1178346893601.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Just as planned

>> No.29909581
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Her or the Slaaneshi

>> No.29909586
File: 100 KB, 764x1080, npc_Princess_Undead_01.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Sorry guys, I'll be at Nagash's right when we plow through the Warp and into 40k for conquest, and at my left will be my skelly waifu.

>> No.29909721

if the plague gods waifu gives her gifts of healing through the warp, does that mean that there are Warp Deamons Of Isha floating around being homely?

>> No.29909728

Dying of old age after having fucked said beautiful daemon too many times to count.

>> No.29909765

Nah, Isha doesn't have daemonettes, just eldar

>> No.29909864

In Fantasy, she has the Wood Elves.
Alarielle the Radiant is the Everqueen, AKA God Emprah of Fantasy (so is Sigmar, but he's only that thematically for the most part).

Alarielle has a psychic battle with Slaanesh and won.

The Wood Elves are so feral, Alarielle is afraid of them. Alarielle is the Avatar of Isha. But Elves believe in a duality of all things (except the Dark Elves, who are willfully ignorant). Ariel, queen of the Wood Elves, is also an avatar of Isha.
Alarielle is more frightened of Ariel than of Chaos as a whole.

So in a way...

>> No.29909867

I choose tzeentch-waifu. She'll never let me lose hope ever again. And will allow me to do some silly shenanigans depending on how i can twist the power to my own ends.

For example trading cards. "I'll just convert these useless commons into money cards because they cost the same amount of ink and cardstock to make." Followed by seeing if i can change the cards themselves into much moolah by converting the cards directly into cash, as determined by their going market price.
So 10 guild gates turned into 10 Jace, the Mind sculptor, which are turned into however much jace sells for on star city. All without leaving my home.

Or otherwise just experimenting with my magic to see how far i can take it.

>> No.29909874

Slaanesh, then I can act out everything Ive ERP... mostly. 3' tounge btw, I reckon it can be hidden.

>> No.29909956

I was going to pick Khorne just for the powers but reading this thread convinced me to pick Tzeench instead. While endless endurance to kick people's asses forever would be cool, there is a good chance that I will never need that while the Tzeench power is as good as your imagination makes it.

Now, would I be able to chance a one dollar bill into a hundred? They are both made out of the same material so technically I won't be chancing anything but the design. It should work unless this power takes into account the value that a person puts on the item that is completely unrelated to the make up of the item.

>> No.29910000

OP made it clear you could do neither of those things

Stop trying to exploit shit to stupid levels instead of being clever like >>29909278

>> No.29910041

why can't poor people just go look for jobs in their yachts?

>> No.29910048

this isn't a fucking traditional game

>> No.29910059


Jesus fucking Christ, Tzeentch all the way. I mean, I don't think Tzeentch daemons are supposed to look that good, but I'm not complaining.

>> No.29910069
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Go to bed Nurgle. Your canary is calling you.

>> No.29910078
File: 335 KB, 500x280, Go away.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's from the lore of 2 traditional games and two genres of traditional
Go complain about quests and Elderscroll threads

>> No.29910145

That'd be Khorne (for the /pol/ack's unbridled rage) or Tzeentch (for supporting your belief in the jew-spiracy).

>> No.29910248
File: 125 KB, 1226x1186, 1391137820566.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Remember, Slaanesh is into more than just sex and drugs.

Warhammer Fantasy, Slaanesh sometimes blesses artists (even non-devotees, even the faithful he has no plan on even trying to corrupt) with talents just to see what they make.
The Sistine Chapel in the Warhammer world is entirely Daemonettes. This was entirely unintentional, and Michelangelo's equivalent was exiled for it.
Warhammer Fantasy Beethoven's symphony played backwards is a children's rhyme about Slaanesh apparently.
Warhammer Fantasy Napoleon was made tall and sexy by Slaanesh, causing him to retire to a humble life.

>> No.29910259

>pick tzeench
>proceed to go full chaos god through bullshit plans and shenanigans
>make my god proud.
i'm entirely alright with this.

>> No.29910268
File: 78 KB, 640x482, malal greater daemon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

What would a Malice daemon be?

>> No.29910315
File: 292 KB, 488x786, 1179018213047.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Yes, but sex and drugs are a big part
>Have a waifu who is also a beautiful singer and poet
I was already sold but sold more now

>> No.29910336

None because he's a retconed god of redundancy

>> No.29910346


It's a shame most seem to forget this. Though I would still probably pick Khornette, but it's a close race between the two.

>> No.29910369

>Nurgle: You have accepted life for what it is, and have moved on. You care little for pain as it's just apart of life, and don't get depressed
>Not being depressed, hating myself, and in mortal dread of my own inevitable demise
If you put that in a bottle I would crawl inside, sold.

>> No.29910419

Not to mention that if you buy her some art supplies, she's paint porn of the two of you that would put Rembrandt to shame.

>> No.29910434

>mortal dread of my own inevitable demise
Followers of Nurgle don't die though. They just hang out, diseased as all hell, for all time.

>> No.29910477

They kinda do die/rot but nurgle is also about rebirth and survival

Nurgle is probably the nicest gods, he's about coming to peace with the inevitable, which is why his followers and daemons are happy

>> No.29910496

That might just be a bonus then.

>> No.29910534

>changing apples to oranges
But you can't do that! They're not comparable!

>> No.29910537
File: 174 KB, 734x793, nurglette.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

How soft do you think she is?

>> No.29910553
File: 147 KB, 800x600, 1241123524319.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Khornettes need more love.

Hot red skin
High endurance
Fun to fight with
Doesn't complain about your knifes or guns collection
Horny as fuck

>> No.29910564

All I know is how hard my dick is

>> No.29910574

Sickeningly soft

>> No.29910602

Khorne, cause goddamn that girl is adorable.

>> No.29910687
File: 263 KB, 500x281, Yes 7.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>all these people not picking Tzeench

Forget the powers, man! The tail feathers! THE TAIL FEATHERS!!

>> No.29910723

>tail feathers
But I'm ticklish. Like, really ticklish.

If I was trying to bang her from behind, I would end up convulsing with laughter and losing my boner.

>> No.29910729

Manic Depressive Bipolar tsundere girl.

>> No.29910736

C'mon, shake your tail-feather!

>> No.29910751


>> No.29910815

Indeed, especially going for DAT TONGUE!

The Tentacle would be a good choice too, but if it's always moist it might be a hassle...

...Or use surrogate, I think we've got some Crone World Eldar around just for that...

Mother is the Goddess of Excess and Perfection after all!
Whatever your Daemonette Waifu is into, she'll be INHUMANLY good at it.
She a Chef?
Enjoy eating the best damn cuisine until your gut burst!
She a Tailor?
You're always going to be wearing the most fashionable swag!

>> No.29910828

I was about to post some supportive artwork for Khorne but... old /tg/ images are just not safe for blue boards.

>> No.29910865

Post it in an imgur link

>> No.29910916
File: 2.92 MB, 220x220, 1380915095602.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.29910938

Just as planned.

>> No.29910974
File: 27 KB, 229x200, oh god.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Just imagine like eating out the Nurgle deamonette. Hasn't cleaned herself down there for like, several centuries.

>> No.29910992

You had to remind me that Oglaf comic again.

>> No.29911057

The Khorne power seems to outclass the others completely.

The slaanesh+nurgle powers are useless. The Tzeentchian power is interesting/useful but ultimately 'mega' endurance sounds far more handy.

>> No.29911097

>Slaanesh and nurgle powers are useless
Son you aren't very realistic are you?

>Implying eating out is normally pleasant in taste/smell
I'll have her buffet anyday

>> No.29911099

A) Tzeentchette would be the most fun to play D&D with, even with only minor traits she'd be a god tier GM. Also dat boon
B) Tough. I wanna say the Nurglette but holy hell that smell, and it'd be an unconsummated marriage because of all the STIs so I'd probably feel guilty about it since she'd be so nice. So maybe I'd go with Khornette and team up with Tzeentchette to manage her anger? Could make a fun slice of life anime.

>> No.29911119


Always relevant.

>> No.29911123

Eh it's not that great, I would have had the current boons for the A choice and some more revved up powers for the B choice.

>> No.29911225

>Pro:Girl to go shooting on the weekends with.
>Con:Violent personality.

>Pro: Girl to craft stuff with and make nefarious plots with.
>Con:Probably kinda frigid/distant.

>Extra manipulators
>Pro: All of the freaky sex, looks cute.
>Cons: So much sex; possibly an airhead/cheater.

>Immune to pain/depression
>Pro: Cute girl.
>Con: Hello AIDS.

Tzneetch if she isn't an ice queen or a pansy. Manic mad scientest with a bit of a propensity for hyperbole is a good zone.

Khorne if she's in for being crafty AND destructive, and isn't needlessly violent. Individualistic, strong body and mind.

Slaanesh if she's dead loyal and clever. Freaky sex and naughty in-jokes.

Nurgle.....nah. Fuck nurgle.

>> No.29911229
File: 1.15 MB, 1900x2500, 1391140591745.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Slaanesh is the best wife all around
Best boon
Prettiest girl
Always into your fetish
Might have a futa cock if your into that

>> No.29911246

>>Con: Hello AIDS.
>implying Nurglites care about being infected with <insert disease here>

>> No.29911259

Do they have to be girls or futa?

>> No.29911271

Implying Aids would phase you as a nurgle champ

>> No.29911283


I use the power to take any car I want

does the deamon have its own power too?

>> No.29911300

The OP said they were loyal
Slaanesh and Nurgle are great choices

>> No.29911363
File: 47 KB, 604x395, malal lesser daemon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Naw, he still exists. He just won't ever get new fluff (although there IS a rumor he'll be retooled back into Fantasy).

Malice is the option to modify your daemon waifu.

Obsessively clean two-eyed chubby Nurglette. By the time you wake up, she's cleaned everything in the house (including you!) and made breakfast because she just wants to be productive.

Tzeentchette who's perfectly curved and angled, has no fucking care in the world or plan in life and is totally okay with whatever you want to do today.

Khornette that has fun and is into shenanigans because she's not competitive and really just wants to sit back and laugh.

Prim and proper Daemonette with tact and reservations...which she'll drop quickly, since you're such a bad boy and bring out the wildness in her.

>> No.29911605
File: 1.50 MB, 1000x1000, 1376497472731.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.29911859

so do the deamons have their own powers?

>> No.29911910


>> No.29911918

I'd assume so, they are daemons after all.

>> No.29911997

Soft as puss filled diseased flesh.
So pretty soft probably.

>> No.29912072



I have the tzeench deamon use her powers for money and power

>> No.29912135

>it backfires and brings you to rack and ruin

>> No.29912142
File: 625 KB, 880x1045, Slaaneshi Daemon 40k.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

whatever floats your boat

>> No.29912211

that's hilarious, got any references for this?

>> No.29912250


> Rack


also why ruin she's loyal to me

>> No.29912286
File: 338 KB, 1000x1000, 1368301487314.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

She does love you, she planned poverty so you stay loyal to her

Also Slaanesh is best waifu if loyal

>> No.29912296

She wouldn't Just as Planned you. You would fuck yourself over.

>> No.29912395


no tzeench is best girl


I disagree

>> No.29912620
File: 379 KB, 509x546, 1370048822576[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

all these people not pickign sexy deamonette waifu.


>> No.29912693

I pick none because I have an autistically large hatred towards daemonettes.

>> No.29913274
File: 17 KB, 169x169, 1230526653141.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.29913366


acting like they all ain't sexy

>> No.29913421
File: 227 KB, 766x917, 1377553208520.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I was tempted by Tzeench with his change ability, it could be useful for a lot of mundane utility

But I'm going with Khorne
>Khornate Daemonette
So is she always "blooming red"
blood makes for awesome lube, I'm in, I love my steaks raw

>Mega endurance
-Be able to work out for hours, thus accelerating any physical fitness regimen, never be out of shape again
-Better physical relationships with Daemonette bride

>> No.29913441
File: 150 KB, 800x1000, 1391146757595.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Ya, but you can do really lewd things to a Nurglette, like hold claws or kiss with our long tongues or even make love in the missionary postision with the lights ON

>> No.29913466

Plus with the 3' long tongue you can be a champ at oral sex, ditto with the tentical, the claw lets you open soda/beer super easy too

>> No.29913471
File: 6 KB, 224x160, download.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>MFW I have those exact boyshorts
I'm a guy

>> No.29913479
File: 564 KB, 981x748, 1376440672851[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>acting like they all ain't sexy

they all may be but only one of them knows how to please someone properly

>> No.29913521
File: 132 KB, 500x281, 1390254952290.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This...we need more of this

>> No.29913534

Wow, thats actually very well painted/sculpted

>> No.29913553

>Wow, thats actually very well painted/sculpted

GW 5th edition i think

>> No.29913630
File: 123 KB, 1000x1000, 1377110637352.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You will never get her pregnant

>> No.29913644

i was wrong i think they are 3rd or 4th edition

>> No.29913711
File: 612 KB, 792x594, gump, gump.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Pick Tzeench
>Buy Wii U
>Buy gaems
>Turn Wii U into XBone when I'm bored of Wii U
>Turn XBone into Wii U when I'm bored of XBone
>Transform gaems
>Tzeenchette waifu cleans muh house

winna winna chicken dinna

>> No.29913746

You would not be able to turn a WiiU into an xbone

>> No.29913776

Too big?
They are of equal value
This one seems fair, it's not like he's trying to get more like other douches

>> No.29913812

>thinking the WiiU is as good as Xbone
You crazy son

>> No.29913825
File: 4 KB, 303x243, 1363666235526.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If I pick Nurgle, I can basically float through life however I want.

In ten years, I'll be dying in the streets after the Crips attack, my cardboard sign soaked with blood. I'll have a smile on my face as I bleed out. Paramedics will run up, like "oh man, please! Stay with me! We'll get you to a hospital!"

"Nah man, I'm cool here."

And I'd have lived a shitty life, but through virtue of not giving a shit, I would've been the happiest man on Earth. And isn't that what life is really all about?

>> No.29913832
File: 107 KB, 510x546, 1379901759114.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

With enough love, warp magic and semon I'll figure it out

>> No.29913835

the xbone is a LOT bigger than the wii U. And why would you want an xbone anyways?

>> No.29913852
File: 138 KB, 798x643, 1370236502807.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Thinking the XBone is as good as the Wii U

>> No.29913878

>uh uh uh
>you didn't say the magic word

>> No.29913915

what's the sign got on it
"i'm pretty much fine with everything going on right now"?

>> No.29913941

Probably something like that. Maybe like "how are you doing?" or maybe "if you could give me a dollar that'd be great since I need some lunch please".

>> No.29913944
File: 377 KB, 522x379, 1384581417686.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.29913979

... I'd go with a Slaaneshy waifu, and talk her into having a threesome with the Nurglette.

... I'll have more unimaginable STDs than you can imagine, but IT'LL BE WORTH!

... and I'd go with the crab claw... but only if it comes with an extra arm. Otherwise, I'd take the tongue.

>> No.29913995

Does the slaneeshite have a penis?
Cause if not forget it

Otherwise, I'd have to say khorne, cause it would be nice to be all healthy and filled with murderous rage.

>> No.29914019

It's been asked and agreed that she does only if you are into it so mine will

>> No.29914027

also, i'll take the forked tongue.

I don't want to look like a weirdo or anything.

>> No.29914084
File: 178 KB, 271x351, If only.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>People complain about that /tg/ doesn't love /d/
>In this thread the biggest and most frequently asked question is if the slaaneshi comes in futa

>> No.29914112


>> No.29914118

Rolled 3376

man, /d/ is /tg/'s playground. one cannot exist without the other

>> No.29914137
File: 111 KB, 1000x1000, 1377575856605.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Go home loyalist

>> No.29914193

How else are we supposed to post explicit W40k fanart? Speaking of which somebody should start a thread on /d/ so we can post lewd things.

>> No.29914207


I'll still try. A lot. One could say excessively. Slaanesh may smile upon me.

>> No.29914212

Posting them on imgur and linking in thread
Duh, just make sure to spoiler the links

>> No.29914225

I want to pick tzeneech but it would be like, no sex, all the time...

(or if not, you wouldn't enjoy it...)

>> No.29914236

i found that idea entertaining. the gorgon effect. but with love instead of statues. and just blinking in and out of reality just to try and trick some one into looking at you

>> No.29914338

There has to be some way to exploit that tzeenich power...

does it count if I buy in bulk? Oh, i know, you could take something that is really, really expensive, and turn it into lots of little things that are heavy, bulky, or hard to distribute!

You'd save a ton of money on shipping!

>> No.29914349

>... I'll have more unimaginable STDs than you can imagine, but IT'LL BE WORTH!
Not unless you're a Nurgle worshiper
Also trying to take more than one is poor form

>> No.29914353

And to think, you wont care

>> No.29914393

How "mundane" are we talking here?

I mean, not to diss the mail order bride or anything, but you really have no idea what your getting with that, and they all sound lovely...

>> No.29914403

i just finished rolling up the factions for a black crusade game. i used deathwatch to make a chapter and creation tables pulled from 14dchan. so far i created an ultramarine chaos warband that specializes in diplomacy and terror tactics. former fleet base now on a fortress world with wasteland terrain and a massive pirate fleet ally. also aligned to slaanesh. oh man. im finding dialog combat entertaining.

the enemies. ork freebootas who excel at raiding tactics. and eldar trying to stop the chapter at every turn. also specializing in raiding/drop tactics. its gunna be full of fire fights

>> No.29914414

No Nurgle Chicks

>> No.29914421

just dont think about it. let it guide you on its own. where ever you are. it was ordained to be so

>> No.29914449
File: 222 KB, 600x700, 1376447721898.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Anything but Khornette

>> No.29914450
File: 155 KB, 567x941, 1391149191037.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Raging Heroes has some pretty good Daemonette counts-ases, and a lot of other good female models.

>> No.29914452

Things that aren't overpoweredly stupid
Changing a snickers to a babyruth
Or your master card to your visa

Convenience mainly

>> No.29914506

>says Khorne girls are better
>Post slaaneshi juggs and lingerie

>> No.29914538

that sounds like it has a "no fun" clause written in.

>> No.29914542

Chinese metal recast diaz-nettes~

>> No.29914550


you mean this?

>> No.29914561

>Eternal period
>Eternal super horniness, combined with mega endurance
Fuck it I'll take the anger

>> No.29914564

Dose hips, and braids doe.

Plus, flat is just as fine for me.

>> No.29914576

I know that artist. She draws penises.

>> No.29914580

Khorne and Tzeentch

They're the hot ones too.

>> No.29914587

No just a "no abuse, must be creative" clause
That shit is cheep and boring, as well as breaks balance

The guys who use it to change games and car keys are at least original and clever

>> No.29914604


>> No.29914615

Yes and?

>> No.29914627

But that power doesn't really DO anything unless you exploit it somehow, its just kinda useless.

>> No.29914637
File: 66 KB, 600x1001, 1373507185195.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>implying daemonettes don't have hips

>> No.29914642
File: 425 KB, 800x1105, 1382806159454.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Not wanting Khornate DFC

>> No.29914684

Rolled 7473

actually is really practical in a mundane sense.

need exact change, turn big bill into change.

forgot keys? turn any other key into your key. or the key of a person you want to stalk

>> No.29914693

You aren't thinking like a true Tzeenchian

>> No.29914714

oh hey, thats true! you'd only ever need one video game, and you could play them all!

But how much would keys be worth that don't belong to you? Priceless, probably...

>> No.29914724

But no braids, and you can't play-wressle a Slaaneshi!

>> No.29914725

>no Chaos Undivided waifu

>> No.29914751
File: 236 KB, 696x716, 1377307008130.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That's cultist-chan.

>> No.29914753

I'm way too far into Tzeentch, the choice has been made for me, and I'm okay with that

>> No.29914755
File: 277 KB, 500x500, 1175498756889.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Chaos undivided members get their pick of the 4
Abandon I'm sure has one of each, sadly he can't hold them because he lacks the necessary requirements

>> No.29914786
File: 170 KB, 437x782, 1274335372878.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

A pretty good deal

>> No.29914789
File: 133 KB, 549x881, 1353226665495.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Cultist with anything but DFC
no, get those oversized udders out of here

>> No.29914806

Some of us like WOMEN (and futas) not little girls/boys (or at least little boys not dressed as little girls)

>> No.29914814



if you think just a little bit your good

>> No.29914836
File: 607 KB, 1940x1429, 1201761617586.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>sadly he can't hold them because he lacks the necessary requirements

What are you talking about?

>> No.29914852

Female chests in nearly all their forms are to be loved, mate.

>> No.29914858

It depends on how long it's been since she's last died.

Also on who fucked up during her last resurrection.

and which god really likes her right now

>> No.29914865

Dude, I'm okay with reasonably sized breasts

This pic is a fucking back problem on steroids

>> No.29914868
File: 81 KB, 683x476, 1380569467094[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I am surprised that no one has thought of one of the best uses of the tzench one.

convert army A into army b. convert old outdated rulebooks to new ones.


as others noted changing consoles ect.. your pc will never be outdated. touch it and now it's got the latest hardware you want.

the possibility is endless.

>> No.29914886
File: 604 KB, 800x1138, 1353228511739.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Depends on which god really likes her
And how!

>> No.29914887

The "D" stands for "disgusting" right?

>> No.29914904

It has to be small mundane objects, so while you COULD alter individual minis, YOu could not alter an entire PC ( or likely even parts of it) and not a rulebook either

>> No.29914907
File: 522 KB, 800x1016, 1353228027426.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.29914920

stahp, those all are really shitty in drawing

>> No.29914930
File: 94 KB, 750x978, 1363445135174.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw gf would probably be cool with dressing up as cultist-chan
>she's really pale
>cultist-chan is tan

It just wouldn't work.

>> No.29914932
File: 1.20 MB, 800x1180, 1353228099814.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.29914954

She's a grab bag of potential.

Eventually her faith will pay off in the end and like how the SoB's occasionally do paladiny things, Cultist-chan will ascend to greatness and dippose Abbadon and lead a Crusade that will finally topple the Imperium

>> No.29914974
File: 392 KB, 800x1298, 1353228166606.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Can't expect it to be perfect mate, roll with it, she probably also doesn't have teeth like a set of keys

>also see what she would want you to dress up as, this becomes a new ship

>> No.29914997
File: 159 KB, 540x1576, More_Heretical.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Rolled 9847

well, she has to do the voice

>> No.29915010


how small is small?

1 inch 2 4 6 8 10?

a foot? 2?

>> No.29915023
File: 229 KB, 652x964, gd tzench.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>It has to be small mundane objects, so while you COULD alter individual minis, YOu could not alter an entire PC ( or likely even parts of it) and not a rulebook either

Actually with the rulebooks being available in e-book format thorugh black libarary you could easly convert a dvd to have it on there.

hence you would never need to buy the books again

on another note.. why did we never get a greater deamon of tznench looking similar to this?

>> No.29915055

I imagine what can be held in hand
With the PC/rule books thing it's more VALUE, not size.
Old PC parts are near worthless, books arguably less so (it might work there but probably not)

>> No.29915066

Great minds think alike my brethren of dark complexion.

>> No.29915089
File: 447 KB, 900x1200, 1391150857232.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Boy howdy I need to go to sleep.

Didn't read the file name and just opened the picture. Thought it was slaneesh because it's knee looked like a giant cock at first glance.

>> No.29915108

>Come home from a long hard day at work
>As you enter the door Khornette waifu tackles you
>Play fight until you're reinvigorated
>In bed

>> No.29915113

Slaanesh > Nurgle = Tzeech > Khorne
It's hard to chose between Cheerful chubby qt3.12 and Touch feathery tail (and convineace powers)

>> No.29915119

that nosebleed

>> No.29915183

Actually if we do say chaos undivided gets us cultist-chan, what boon do we get?

>> No.29915203
File: 161 KB, 1000x1000, 1249529426651.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.29915221


so anything you can hold with one hand?

not bad

as for the replacing computers just hold something valuable in the same hand like money or gold

>> No.29915223

A fancy set of steak knives

>> No.29915231

Thus the Emperor's light was lost on /tg/.

>> No.29915244

Fancy enough to kill loyalists with?

>> No.29915251

Really, you could take it to vegas and clean house very, very briefly.

>mortgage everything
>bet it all on one hand of black jack
>constantly change your face down card to whatever you need to win.

>> No.29915264

I (The OP) am the best Cultist Apostate ever

No, the kind you see on infomercials

>> No.29915279

or take a losing lottery ticket, and change it to the winning numbers. this one might be more difficult, but you could probably make a living manipulating scratch off lottery tickets.

>> No.29915292

That too is clever, though I imagine you might get kicked out for winning too much

>> No.29915314

I'll take it.

>> No.29915346

That's why you have to do it quick. Most of the cases where they kick people out are where they suspect you of card counting, which isn't a system for quick gains, but sustained, gradual gains. They can't really kick someone out for getting lucky.

>> No.29915349

Rolled 3907

dont they all have fixed serials? you would need to know the right serial for the right prize. Very difficult i think. I think you can make a decent amount of money by playing card games at fairs or informal poker matches

>> No.29915389

I'm not sure. Back when I actually bought scratch offs (or rather, my parents bought them for me), you turned them in at the store you got them from, and they gave you the money. Maybe the check over a certain amount.

>> No.29915394

Best thread on /tg/ today

>> No.29915396


wouldn't they check the deck and realize something is wrong

>> No.29915411

They use new decks for their matches right?

Changing the card might work out if you do it sparingly enough for it to look like the manufacturer fucked up.

>> No.29915413

its got taint on its taint

>> No.29915432

Rolled 708

I am pretty sure they scratch the "not scratch" section. Well, I am from south america dunno how it is in the US or Europe

>> No.29915493

the pic is from the old rt book Lost and the damned.. it's tzench not slanesh .. you need slaves to the darkness to find the one with taint on the taint

>> No.29915896

Just tap it real quick when the dealer pulls it back or something.

>> No.29916000

Short sleeves are a must

>> No.29916012

Building on the changing cards idea, Use it to fuck with a "Magician" when he pulls the "is THIS your card" trick.
Only just change the face value of the card, not the marking he has on the back of it.

>buy bargain brand hazelnut spread
>change to nutella
>save much money

>> No.29916099

>eating nutella

It's like you want to build up your insulin resistance.

>> No.29916124

Rolled 4814

could you change water into alcohol?
in order to become the modern Jesus. The fellow present in every party?

>> No.29916195

No cuz alchohol is a serious step up
I guess maybe a really shitty beer like coors, but thats stretching it

>> No.29916281

It was more an example than anything else.

I would've personally gone "buy cheap rotgut Scotch, turn into the Macallan 18yr."

>> No.29916342

Dammit boner, we talked about this!

>> No.29916669


if what been posted before is right
value seems to matter so that doesn't work

>> No.29917044

Cannot agree more to this

>> No.29917196

>Tzeench: Limited Magic of Change: You can change small/mundane objects into small mundane objects of similar value, I.e. A pen to pencil. 1 dollar to 4 quarters, apples to oranges
Coke into Pepsi?

>> No.29917588

I'd just go with the Tentacle Vagina myself...
All the lewdness of Handholding in genitalia form!


My Goddess... Abandon really IS a Potato, isn't he?

Nah, Cultist LIKE being the little guy...
If she really wanted power, she would have taken up her position as the most powerful of the Sensei!

>> No.29917616

It's not like cultist could say no if the big 4 told her to do it.

>> No.29917695

But that's the thing...
The Big 4 are frightened by her potential to surpass the Emperor, and at the same time genuinely adore her because they all took turns raising her.

>> No.29917761

If what I've read is true, Slaanesh as actually fucked her at least once. Something about wanting an army with her "unique" outlook or something.

I didn't catch as it turns out living like cultist does is not good for your fertility.

>> No.29917831

...Where was that from?

>> No.29917863


It's linked on the 1d4chan page but I'm not sure how many people have actually read it, or it's relative canon status

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