[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games

View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.29552201 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

According to messengers from Aman that were sent to Numenor, Valars couldn't take or give the gifts of Iluvatar so they couldn't give everlasting life to nomen-omen half-elves from Elros line (dunedain kings), YET Luthien DIED. SO this elvish ho' COULD choose the faith of man being pureblood elf YET no man could choose the faith of firstborns! How fucked is that? Where's the fucking logic?

>inb4 whole cosmology of Arda just went to /dev null
>inb4 Sauron was right all along

>> No.29552210

- no sickness,
- everlasting life,
- could live with Valars in Aman,
- could be raised from the dead with no problem,
- magical powers,
- not a single elf ever joined evlis side,
- every sin was always forgiven and every elf could get back to Aman

while men:
- could get sick,
- had no powers,
- died of old age,
- nobody knows what happened to them after death and if there's any afterlife for them,
- Aman was forbidden for them,
- one single mistake and whole fucking country is flooded and everybody - childred and women included - are killed.


>> No.29552267

Elves were a stagnating, dying race. There was no future for them, and never had been.

>> No.29552290

>not a single elf ever joined evlis side,

All the original orcs, twisted by Morgoth. Also, depending on how you could "evil", Feanor and his sons might count, too.

>> No.29552306

One small disadvantage and tons of priviliges. Nothing strange that kings of Numenor got pissed!

>> No.29552315

>going extinct
>small disadvantage

>> No.29552325

In the war with Sauron even animals were divided between the two camps, yet no single elf joined Sauron. How come?

>> No.29552332

>Elves were a stagnating, dying race.

In middle earth, yeah. Not so in the literal paradise on earth that also had a big "NO HUMANS ALLOWED" sign on the front door.

>> No.29552337


No Dwarf ever turned evil either.

Iluvatar was a dick and screwed men over, that's what.

>> No.29552371

Because there literally weren't enough left for them to be a realistic factor either way, and Sauron had fucked over the ones who were left hard in many various ways.

>> No.29552374

>Implying Sauron isn't the saviour the men of Middle Earth needs

>> No.29552384

Nobody said they will go extinct - they could live until the end of time with Valars in Aman and their fate after Dagor Dagorath is unclear. But hey, everybody knows that a fate of men is clear like the sun... Oh wait...

Let's face it - elves are masterrace and humans are just stupid pawns. Valars are racists.

captha: Maya ctsnowt

>> No.29552406


wtf add english to your goddamn dictionary

>> No.29552414

Yes, they did. Dwarves fought on both sides; just Durin's clan fought as a whole on Valars' army.

>> No.29552425

Yes master.

>> No.29552512

Lets remember Tolkien never wanted to publish his notes, which was precisely his son did with the Silmarillion.
Maybe if Tolkien had the motivation would had changed a lot of things, like orcs being unable to be reedemed or Middle Earth being Earth before history.

>> No.29552540

Its a fact that the elves and vala rule the world forever in eternal piece and prosperity after the Dagor Dagorath and that mankind leaves with Erú to make the Second Song.

>> No.29552560

Now I'm curious about what "face" and "just" mean in whatever language he has installed....

>> No.29552572

Yet it seems kinda unfair that elves could choose fate of men and men could't do the opposite. Not to mention there's only one condition (if any) - an elf had to fuck with mortal.

>> No.29552597

That's a fair question... They mean nothing in my mothertongue.

>> No.29552617

Or he could have written all that orc erotica that should have existed.

>watching Return of the King
>all the filthy, degenerate, mutilated, mutated orcs
>there are women versions of these things

>> No.29552633

>How fucked is that? Where's the fucking logic?
The logic is her love for Beren. I'm sure if any of your Edain were in love with some Elven equivalent of Beren, they could choose things too, dipshit.

You can't assume what applies to singular and exceptional superheroes of Arda can be applied as a general rule to average joes and janes.

>> No.29552652

>All this uncouth libel aimed at the Lord of Arda

Stay your tongue, cur!

>> No.29552656

Eonwanker, more like.

>> No.29552659

>implying Ar-Pharazon was an average Joe

>> No.29552704 [SPOILER] 

>implying he wasn't an evil man with evil ambitions

I wonder who could be behind these posts

>> No.29552714

So explain me, why Luthien had to choose mortality and not the opposite - Beren immortality? Same with Aragorn and Arwen.

>> No.29552728

Man, fuck both Elves and Men.

Dwarves have it rough. They weren't even meant to be in the world.

>> No.29552734

He would't turn evil if he was permitted into undying lands in the first place!

>> No.29552767

Ah, but don't forget Tuor, son. He did do the opposite, and lived an elf life and wed Idril. Tuor alone of Men was counted of an Elven kindred by Iluvatar, son.

>> No.29552778 [SPOILER] 

>implying he wasn't a vainglorious warlord from the very beginning

Now I'm seriously suspicious of these posts, teeg.

>> No.29552805


>- not a single elf ever joined evlis side,

Please. Orcs?

And before you say "THEY'RE TOTALLY DIFFERENT," the first generation of orcs are specifically mentioned as seeming to be elves who are acting, and equipped, totally out of character.

Generations of inbreeding turned them into freaks.

>> No.29552825

Watch your tongue, "Tar-Mairon," lest I have you polish my sword once more with thine crafty tongue

>> No.29552840

asg nasg durbatuluk ash nasg grimbatul


>> No.29552874


They literally cannot die and they continuously spout children even at a slow pace.

>> No.29552876

It was never confirmed, son. Those were just rumors spread by mortals in ME. Most probably the faggot never reached Aman.

Also, get this - Thingol was killed and moved to the Halls of Mandos. Then Melian fled to Valinor and instead of taking Thingol out - the bitch went to Lórien to moan after her husband! Now that's bizzare!

>> No.29552890

IIRC they actually COULD take away the gifts, they were just bullshitting numenor because they wouldn't make an exception for them

>> No.29552902


There must be at least a cute one, somewhere. Just give it a shower.

>> No.29552917

You think Sauron performed sexual favors, and Eonwe let him get away in exchange? It would explain why they didn't catch him when they caught Morgoth that first time.

>> No.29552922

In other words, Sauron was right all along. As I stated.

>> No.29552947

>all these Sauron-loving, Valinor-hating death-cultists


>> No.29552952

So mankind gets to be the new Valar, and the old Valar and shit are stuck until the end of time and have to fight Morgoth AGAIN?

Sounds like humans get the better end of that deal.

>> No.29552959

And lo, I should have quoted >>29552922

>> No.29552967

But there's one thing - it's completely bullshit, Tolkien never stated that.

>> No.29552998


Not morgoth would be perma raped to death at that time. So elves and jew... erm valars get to chill at the bar for all eternity while humanity has to redo the whole stuff.

>> No.29553001

Why Sauron has become a mayonnaise gargler icon?

>> No.29553027


Would a female orc look as disgusting as the male or would it look at least somewhat cutter ? Since orcs may have elvish roots they may not be that disgusting if orcs choose the best mates carefully. Since they are surely chosen to be babymaking efficient they also surely are plump.

>> No.29553069

I figure this thread's more of a Holocaust denier thread, not so much a mayonnaise gargler thread.

>> No.29553087

I imagine he might have. My Silm tells me he made "obeisance," which could have indeed included favors of a sexual nature.

Million Dollar Question: Who would Eonwe command Sauron to shift his shape into during these unspeakable acts?

>> No.29553113

Why Eonwe looks like Sailor Moon?

>> No.29553141


Because valars are all huge faggots while morgoth being as gay as they are was a bear.

>> No.29553147

>"In the Name of the Valar, I will punish you!"

>> No.29553153

You have that inverted.

>> No.29553160

>valars are all huge faggots
>Anon just called /tg/'s precious dwarves' creator a faggot

Aule honestly was kind of irresponsible. Consider how his maiar friends kept going bad.

>> No.29553179

>"Hey Curumo, Mairon, check out all these awesome engines of destruction and weapons of war. Isn't Supersmithing fun? I sure hope no one misuses all this knowledge I'm flinging around."

>> No.29553214

>Because valars are all huge faggots
If by faggots you mean fearless defenders of justice and the Will of Eru, then yes, the Valar were as gay as they come.

>> No.29553233

Probably just as much potential to be all scabby-like. They had serious skin problems, let me tell ya.

However, much of that was probably a lifetime of atrocious hygiene. You could probably clean them up a fair deal, though I don't know how you would go about reconditioning their wicked ways.

>> No.29553236

Yeah, I thought that was an interesting recurring element.

>> No.29553251


Valars are all lazy fucks that suck the elvish dick so much it hurts and have literally no intention of bettering themselves or the creation and just sit there while engaging in wild gay orgies with elves and pray to Eru 10 times a day.

>> No.29553252

Nice try Sauron.

>> No.29553266

>not killing Saruman, Sauron, Morgoth, Ungolianth and entire piles of elder gods in glorious single combat before tossing the ring into Mt Doom, and then going into the Void and killing Melkor so Dagor Dagorath doesn't even happen
The player character from Furyband is the hero Middle-Earth deserves.

Also, has anyone noticed that you get the good captchas at certain times of the day, but the rest of the day is in full shitfaggot mode? Just a couple of hours ago I was getting the old captchas, and now I'm getting the shitty ones with the black blotches. Google can choke on a cock.

>> No.29553267

It's a shame we didn't get more "villains" from other walks of life. There were valaraukar, and crafty-maiar, and MAYBE whatever kinds of spirits may or may not inhabit dragons (although I personally don't trust that they were maia-beings, myself.)

I would've been interested in whatever the frosty equivalent of valaraukar/balrogs were, but alas, no such thing arose, in spite of the fact that Melkor was all over both extremes of temperature and mutative force, cold and hot.

>> No.29553281

>ITT: Sauron-sympathizing Nírnaeth Arnoediad denying scumbags

>> No.29553285


Once cleaned and oiled up you might be able to find one or two beyonce between the green versions of obama's wife.

>> No.29553305

>> No.29553342

Dangers of knowledge, science, and innovation without the restraint of morality, I imagine. The Evils of Progress.

>> No.29553357

Pretty sure Morgoth is the most heterosexual character in the entire cycle of Tolkien works, dude.

He's canonically attracted to not one, but TWO women. That beats pretty much everybody else with a hammer, since every canon romantic arc involves True Love Power with one ideal superpartner.

>> No.29553373

Sauron went bad because Melkor wanted somebody who could forge/make things.

Saruman went bad because he knew Sauron from back in the day, and Sauron corrupted him.

It's more a domino effect than a problem with Aule, I think.

>> No.29553388


The first one is the woman from the other main valar but who is the second ?

>INB4: He made sauron shapeshifts into her and prostate plowed him for half an age.

>> No.29553412 [DELETED] 


>TFW no cute blood thirsty sadistic tsundere orc waifu to remove elves from the premise with.

>> No.29553415

Varda, like you mentioned, and Luthien. He explicitly thinks lewd and indecent, unspeakable things when Luthien starts dancing while he leers at her.

Morgoth's like...mad heterosexual compared to all those other dudes.

That said, if he didn't plow Sauron's shapeshifting booty in these delectable feminine forms, he really wasn't much of an evil overlord. I share your sentiment.

>> No.29553428

>remove elves from premises
>not teaching your orc waifu to live in harmony with others
>not going on adventures with your orc waifu, elf bro, dwarf bro, and pet hobbit

It's like you don't even know how to have fun, Anon.

>> No.29553436

Yup. How often, seriously, in Middle Earth do you have someone being directly described as experiencing lust for a woman? There's plenty of cases of marriage, kids, etc. but there's only a few times that someone actually is mentioned to be filled with lustful thoughts for someone.

Melkor rips an uberbabe's clothes off and forces her to dance in the nude and it says something like that he entertained wonderfully depraved fantasies for her.

I seriously hope Melkor being described as the size of a mountain was not literal, otherwise he would have done serious damage to her.

>> No.29553440


>TFW no cute blood thirsty sadistic tsundere orc waifu to remove elves from the premise with.

>> No.29553445

That's fair; still, you'd think he would notice his students being led astray. Haven't you ever seen the movies where the teacher's have to confront the "problem" students because they're peddling dope or sucking dicks for cash? It's like that. Aule should've paid more attention.

>> No.29553448

He planned to rape Luthien, unfortunatelly the bitch made him fall asleep and he never managed to fulfill this heroic task.

>> No.29553458

See >>29553428

I'm afraid we can't allow you to repurpose orcs from the Dark Lord's evil minions into your evil minions, Anon.

>> No.29553470

>Aule notices Mairon's hanging out with wrong crowd after school
>he joined a street gang led by that drop-out felon, Melkor

>> No.29553480


Oh /tg/, never change.

>> No.29553494


>Still a better movie than the hobbit 2.

>> No.29553509

>Same with Aragorn and Arwen.
More to the point, why was aragorn fucking his great(x36/7?) aunt.

Although also arwen isn't really pure elf, what with elrond be a half elf.

>> No.29553519

Damn you /tg/ I just can't take sauron seriously as a dark lord anymore. He just looks like a sour looser getting arsh because his boyfriend got jailed for half eternity by lazy valars and his makeup is perma-ruined.

>> No.29553541

Because she's got Melian blood, Anon. Don't you know about Melian, the cocksucking Queen of all time? Granted, Aragorn also has Melian blood, but it's like...way more fun to have somebody else to the sucking for him for a change.

Melian sucked dick so good she made niggas refuse Heaven on Earth, grow taller, and become wise kings, all by sucking dick. Shit's absurd.

>> No.29553555

Dude, you just know Morgoth would've fuckin' wrecked that booty, goddamn. Whoever pulled his colossal+ dick out of her ass would've been crowned King of Beleriand.

>> No.29553570

Not only did he plan it, but Sauron planned on capturing her, binding her up, and sending her to him for some of these rapes before she turned the tables and raped him through his shapeshifting.

>> No.29553583


His 'dark lord' image was how he wanted to be seen, not how he actually was. He was an evil little prick picking on little kids because they couldn't fight back and cowering in terror every time half-credible threat appeared.

>> No.29553591

Elrond's parents might have been an elf and a human, but Elrond himself was an half-elf only in name. He had to choose between his elvish and human lineage and picked the longer-lasting side.
He's, genetically at least, as much an elf as everyone else.

Tolkien didn't believe in mixing races, you were either one or the other. So Arwen IS a pure elf and became a pure human later.

>> No.29553617

>implying they weren't part maia

Based Melian, nigga.

>> No.29553630

>first generation of orcs are specifically mentioned as seeming to be elves who are acting, and equipped, totally out of character.

Citation needed

>> No.29553643

>Pretty sure Morgoth is the most heterosexual character in the entire cycle of Tolkien works, dude.

Then why was he fighting a bunch of fancy lads and pretty boys and superhero supermodels for some jewelry?

>> No.29553653

Tolkien's elves were proper Catholics. They had two kids then lost interest in sex.

>> No.29553658

There were no female orcs. It's canon.

>> No.29553660


That's just too cute to be taken seriously as an evil overlord.

>> No.29553665

>He made sauron shapeshifts into her and prostate plowed him for half an age.

What fetish is this, exactly? Dark Lord commands loyal servant to assume form of woman who rejected said Dark Lord before, and sexual relations ensue? Is there a name for this, or would it just be a few separate classifications?

>> No.29553672

>not a single elf ever joined evlis side,

well no, not joined per-se.

But a bunch of them left evils side and became orcs.

>> No.29553683

In fairness, the only people who took him seriously were the children in that metaphor. After the Fall of Numenor, the Valar weren't really taking him seriously at all

>> No.29553693


2+2+2+2+2+2+2... without the parent ever dying and there some exceptions like those elves that had 7 children. The land of the valar must be fucking hong kong filled with elves by now.


>> No.29553714


There a few mentions of it but not much than 2 or 3 phrases in the whole setting of the books.

>> No.29553737


It's a sort of pretend game I suppose, with some shapeshifting included.

stop it boner please, not in front of my friends from the internet.

>> No.29553747

>Tolkien didn't believe in mixing races
That applies only to Elf-Human mix where the person would choose their own fate. There was mixed breeding for other races (with humans)

>> No.29553760


Nothing beyond the rumored half-dwarfs on big ponies.

>> No.29553774

Orcs live, breed and die in the manner of other children of Illuvatar. It's canon.

>> No.29553794

Uruk-hai are mix of human and orc.

>> No.29553816

>"Why did we do that? Now I'm fucking gay!"
>"We can pretend I'm still Varda."

>> No.29553832

Ah, Pretend, a noble and hallowed tradition. It's comforting to think that even an evil Dark Lord could indulge himself in such a pastime as Pretend.

>> No.29553866

Citation needed.

>> No.29553973


Had to google it cannot find it in my gigantic folder.


>in the published Silmarillion it is stated that Orcs "had life and multiplied after the manner of the Children of Ilúvatar", implying that they exist; in The Hobbit the Orc Bolg is the son of one Azog, while Gollum is described as having eaten a young Goblin-imp

>> No.29554047

Mark my words, we'll see Tauriel being banged by Fili.

>> No.29554079

Yes but it left up in the air if they are corrupted men, spawns of alchemy, Orcs infused with the qualities of Men, or if they are as you say a cross-breed which Treebeard considers a 'black evil'.

>> No.29554145

Exactly. It's just like that

>> No.29554195

In Morgoth's Ring, Tolkien states that Saruman did interbreed orcs and men resulting in "Man-orcs large and cunning, and Orc-men treacherous and vile." Also happens that Saruman's assaulting orcs were all Uruk-Hais and were often described as half-orcs.

>> No.29554205


>> No.29554225


>> No.29554249

Well that putted tings into perspective.

>> No.29554257

There is no definitive canon about what the origin of orcs. Tortured and fucked up elves is just one origin story, Tolkien wrote several, he was never pleased with one or the other, then he kicked the bucket and his son published the silmarillion.

>> No.29554263


What if he made Sauron shift his shape and let Morgoth touch fluffy tail?

>> No.29554274


>> No.29554291


>> No.29554311

Aule was also friendly with Feanor, as well as Sauron and Saruman and made Morgoth's chain, which we know breaks at the end, and created the dwarves against the orders of the Illuvater. Aule is definitely in Morgoth's camp

>> No.29554327

I wouldn't say he is in Morgoth's camp by any means. He's a swell fella in every story of his, just maybe a bit bumbling sometimes. Iluvatar gave him a pretty substantial boon, if you recall. He wouldn't do that willy-nilly.

>> No.29554332

He didn't create dwarves against Illavatars orders. He didn't even completely create them. he made them without Illuvatar's orders on his own because he was eager to teach them. Illuvatar was cool about it and gave life to Dwarves told Aule to put them to sleep to be awakened after the first children of Illuvatar (elves).

>> No.29554393

>giant, frosty murder-demons

I'd read it

>> No.29554401

>tfw no qt3.14 maia gf

>> No.29554409

>mayonnaise gargler
Can you even gargle mayonnaise? Dat consistency, bro.

>> No.29554482


anyone that speaks Dwarfish wanna translate?

because it looks like it cam lava at him and i wanna know what gets someone that horny.

>> No.29554597

Clearly, Sauron is the lord and saviour of all men.

That said, does anyone remember the name of that Middle Earth ASCII rpg?

>> No.29554644

>Middle Earth ASCII rpg
Angband, ToME 2.x.x, a gorillion plus one variants, take your pick.

>> No.29554715

>implying Hebrew isn't the true Dwarven tongue

>> No.29554751

Dat make sense now!

>> No.29555190

I never realized this, on account of how elves and humans are children in size to them.

>> No.29555246

Yeah, Sauron basically intimidates a bunch of primary schoolers (Haradrim, Easterlings, orcses, etc.) into helping him beat up on some secondary schoolers (dwarves, fuggin Gondor, Rohirrim, etc.) led by a tiny cadre of undergrads and technical degree friends advised by a solitary Ph.D. Five-Star General Superbro (le Gandalf superwizard face.)

>> No.29555311

When Melkor arrives to Middle Earth, he is a massive giant with head in the clouds and width of mountains. He was also the only Vala to know fear. The more you know.

>> No.29555358

Well, I realized he was fuckhuge and so forth, but I didn't think of it from his perspective (torturing and killing tiny animals and deriving great sport from bullying them into doing the same to each other), as of course we're normal sized to each other.

>> No.29555436

Melkor didn't overpower anyone per say, his main 'power' was lies, deceit and planting seeds of unfounded doubt. Granted, he had armies and evil creatures.

>> No.29555474

>Melkor didn't overpower anyone per say
>Fingolfin was literally crushed to death under his foot

>> No.29555475


OK first, the numenorians were descended from the edain. Not all, or even most, were half-elves. Just the royal line (and by intermarriage the noble houses). But ALL numenorians got long life.

Luthien's gift was granted by Eru, after Manwe and Mandos consulted with him. Later, he also issued a ruling about whether half-elves counted as elves or humans for the purposes of death and immortality-- that they could choose which heritage they belonged to. Luthien was half-Maia in any case, not a pure Elf. Tuor got to become an elf, but again Eru granted it.

It's "fate" not "faith". Singlular: "Vala", plural: "Valar".

Elves are immortal WITHIN THE LIFE OF THE WORLD. That means, they're alive as long as the universe exists but what happens after the universe ends is a mystery. Humans live only briefly in the world, but have immortal souls that leave the circles of the world and will exist forever. They're more like Maiar. It's known that humans will take part in Eru Illuvatar's creation of a second universe, whereas the fate of elves after the End is unknown.

A side effect of the human gift of true immortality is that our bodies and souls aren't tied to this world so strongly and so die quickly and easily, thence to pass into the world Beyond.

Sauron wasn't challenging Eru or the fate of Men. He was fighting to be a temporal king of Middle Earth. His master, Morgoth, was trying to take over the universe, even the laws of science.

Elves turned evil all the time. The Noldor, lead by Feanor, did many evil things. None joined with Morgoth, but their actions accomplished his will. Morgoth often allowed elves to escape still under his control-- IE on his side. Orcs, obviously, are corrupted elves also. Eol was evil, and his son Maeglin sided with Morgoth and assisted in the sack of Gondolin. And, no, not every sin was forgiven. The sons of Feanor certainly weren't, nor Maeglin... etc.

So, anon, in sum you are an idiot.

>> No.29555478

Oh I see. Surprising. What did he do to capture elves for games of torturing? Send flunkies?

>> No.29555501

I think the dude responding to me meant by "he didn't overpower anyone" by he didn't like, roam about, scooping elves up into his giant burlap sack by the handful, etc.

>> No.29555517

Gogo Ringwraith Rangers

>> No.29555525

I meant that Melkor didn't use his physical strength to conquer, rather other means.

>> No.29555551


>> No.29555559

I want to play in a game set during the events of the First (and maybe Second) Age. Several varieties and realms of Elves contending and diplomancing each other while Men (who have started to migrate from the East) are used as buffer states and settlers friendly to different Elven realms, while occasional raids come from Angband in the North. Towards the end, new creatures are seen as Morgoth engineers Dragons and Trolls for use in the war effort, as the Elves and Men continue to struggle for unity among themselves. Shit's downright Byzantine.

>> No.29555565

Legion of balrogs, remember? Why do you think Legolas was legit horrified in Fellowship? I'm sure the little Moriquendi of Middle-Earth have told horrid bedtime campfire tales of the dastardly flame and shadow demons since ages before.

>> No.29555580

>he didn't like, roam about, scooping elves up into his giant burlap sack by the handful, etc.

Literally best demigod superbeing ever if he did.

>> No.29555596

What a horrifying corrupted creature. That explains everything.

>> No.29555612

Ahhh I see, that's pretty cool. Gives some context for why they bother to have flaming whips.

>> No.29555647

>So explain me, why Luthien had to choose mortality and not the opposite - Beren immortality?

Because Beren was already dead, remember. Luthien, too, died of grief and went before Mandos, begging for Beren to be returned to her, but it was a request he could not grant, it was not within his power. Only Eru could grant such a boon, and he did it on one condition: That Luthien accept the Gift of Men. Alternatively, she could have walked out of the Halls of Mandos immediately, but alone, and lived forever in the Light of Valinor. Why not offer Beren the Gift of the Eldar? Because the Gift of Men was the greater boon. The Elves do mourn Luthien, but they praise her as well, for she has received something they have not and never will.

> Same with Aragorn and Arwen.

Arwen's fate was tied to her father. As long as he remained in Middle-earth, she and her brothers would live with the youth of the Eldar. But if he closed up Rivendell and went to Aman (though she could, and did, decide beforehand), she would have to choose her fate.

>> No.29555699


>> No.29555705

>settlers friendly to different Elven realms

Finrod is Best King, number one Noldor husbando.

>> No.29555733

That's just precious.

>> No.29555772

Honestly, that might just be Durin's Bane's domme tendencies showing

>> No.29555791

Yeah, just imagine the terror of a troop of those goons descending upon your forest dwellings and seizing your kin, plus slaughtering all who struggled to stop them. Fucking awful.

>> No.29555792

It's a shame he died. I think he was the best chance (outside of full-on total war from Melkor) the Elves and Men had of uniting as one, cosidering his seniority among the Noldor and his elevated status he enjoyed among Men.

>> No.29555851

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with you. Finrod was super respectable and diplomatic.
It's a shame he was Poor Little Elf King'ed away (though in fairness his manner of death was quite fitting and helps define his character, so it's all good, I suppose.)

>> No.29555880

>tfw no qt3.14 valarauko gf

>> No.29555933

>implying they weren't dying race in ME because of the fact most of them fled to Valinor even before humans were awoken

>> No.29555962

It wasn't really fleeing back then. It was a benign migration to get access to cool shit, at least for Based Calaquendi.

>> No.29556066

-cannot die
-have to sit out the end of the world
-bound to go extinct
-gift of mortality
-go to mandos hall after dying
-get to meet eru iluvatar after that
-ascend to godhood for the creation of the new world
-fuck like rabbits
-get reborn?
-get eaten by dragons
-are but allowed to live on earth
-never get to see aman

arda is a hfy world

>> No.29556070

I'd let her pass

>> No.29556146

>-get eaten by dragons
Pretty sure everybody gets eaten by dragons, bub.

>> No.29556181

>implying I didn't see this faith/fate misspell already

1. I never said all Numenorians were half-elves.
2. I know about that. Yet it's unclear if Tuor actually lives - the story about him being rank as an elf is probably a fairy tale; most probably he's sleeping on one of the Enchanted Isles along with his wife, Idril.
3. Yeah, and there's no mystery about humans fate. Dude, what are you on? I'd choose uncertain fate in some distant future and until then being immortal than uncertain fate after my short life! The rest is just your speculations and thus not worth answering.
4. Never said Sauron wanted anything else!
5. Some elves were kinda evil-ish, but none willingly joined Morgoth or Sauron.
So, anon, in sum you're a faggot.

>> No.29556191

She'd probably break your staff, Anon

>> No.29556312

Is there more where that came from?

>> No.29556415


I'd insta-betray the fellowship against such a cute balrog.

>> No.29556455

>- nobody knows what happened to them after death and if there's any afterlife for them,
There pretty clearly is, and it's better than the one elves get, otherwise it wouldn't be their upside.

>> No.29556488

>So explain me, why Luthien had to choose mortality and not the opposite - Beren immortality? Same with Aragorn and Arwen.
Because humans get the better deal. They just have to die first.

>> No.29556501

>Proper Catholics
Where I'm from this usually means 8+ kids...

>> No.29556507


Elves are perma immortal basically gods too with the valars in their own universe while for human they may have to redo that shit all over again with surely the spirit of stalin/hitler/napoleon/gengis khan/whatever fusing into one big melkor again with the risk of the whole universe falling into the dark side.

>> No.29556528

I don't know, but it's hot.

It's even more hot if the minion volunteers.

>> No.29556589

None of that shit is even remotely suggested in anything.

>> No.29556632


If the human sings with Eru while the elves stay in middle earth and stay immortal. It isn't improbable that some nigger try to ruin the song AGAIN.

>> No.29556696

Yeah, for example witch king of Angmar and his nazgul buddies.

>> No.29557161

>Magical powers
Only for the Eldar.
>Raised from the dead
Not really. More like reincarnation.
>No evil elves
Eöl, Maeglin, arguably the sons of Féanor, orcs.

>Men have no afterlife
Men go to Mandos for a bit, then bugger off out of Ëa to chill with Eru. They get a part in the Third Music, whereas nobody knows whether the Elves do.
>One single mistake
Lolno? They were warned many times... and then they basically tried to invade Aman. Not a trifling matter.

>> No.29557253

Because he turned into an asshole and stopped listening to her.

>> No.29557266

>chill with Eru

That's only an asumption. All we know they go out of Arda and that's it. And what's outside Arda? It is The Void. One big motherfucking NOTHING. Yay, let's spend eternity doing nothing nowhere!

>> No.29557290

RotK appendices suggest that there are no female orcs.

>> No.29557331

There are the Halls of Eru, i.e. Heaven.

>> No.29557382

Sauce? As far as I know the only heaven is Aman.

>> No.29557383

Aulë didn't make weapons, except maybe spears and bows for hunting. War weapons were invented by the Noldor.

>> No.29557405


While the silmarillion does suggest they do exist and the hobbit give hints. If dwarves don't spurt out of the earth I don't see why orks would.

>> No.29557447

Ainulindale, I believe.

>> No.29557449

That is the best description of LOTR I've ever read.

>> No.29557704

She's not exactly a close relative any more, even if you factor in some royal inbreeding.

>> No.29557911

Goddamnit, Fingolfin had dark hair!

>> No.29558212


>> No.29558437

Except that I think it's pretty much stated outright that that won't happen. Nobody knows exactly what the Third Music entails, save that a) it will be better, b) men will sing in it, and c) at least some Ainur will sing in it, as well.

>> No.29558445

This thread is awesome and I encourage this.

>> No.29558562

So /tg/ what movie would you like to see next? Silmarillion? Alkabeth? The only problem I see that Cate Blanchett will be too old to replay her role as Galadriel.

Is that Ungolianth? Who's the nigger next to her? Our beloved master Melkor?

>> No.29558629

No. The only media that can do the Silm properly are opera and ballet.

>> No.29558655

Same. I'd pound that fiery booty for Ages.

>> No.29558676

That is indeed Melkor and Ungoliant. There is surprisingly little art of her compared to the battle between Fingolfin and Melkor, oddly. And I think they should stop making LoTR movies. Not because they can't be done well, because they can. Just because at some point they'll have to delve into some material that doesn't have any real narrative or dialogue to it; just descriptions and historical recall. Not exactly fertile ground for movies if you have to write the entire script from scratch.

>> No.29558737


An elf witch of terrible power! Hate that cocky bitch!

>> No.29558744


They really can't make any more at the moment. Only The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings have ever had their rights licensed for filmmaking. Tolkien's son, Christopher, has steadfastly refused to license rights for what he has edited (he doesn't believe in film adaptations). Mind you, he's about 90 years old, so things might well change in the not too distant future, but that's how it is right now.

>> No.29558808

Jackson and his boys invented like 70% of Hobbit dialogues. what the difference if they invent 90% of them?

Melkor looks kinda small compared to Ungolianth... Not sure if it's proper proportion.

>> No.29558924

The only thing we know for sure about Ungoliant is that she was able to grapple and nearly swallow Melkor. Take that however you will.

>> No.29558994

You think they ever fugged? You gotta wonder where those kids came from

>> No.29559035

Tolkien never stated that orcs resembled black people. There was a a line I think that goblins looked like the 'unlovely' types of South-East Asian... But western sex tourists love Cambodia.

Ironically for all of the stick Tolkien gets his orcs are one of the least racist versions of orcs used. While they're uniformly evil, the colour of their skin is pretty inconsequential to how they're conceived, and while they are brutal marauders but don't notably use IRL 'savage' fashions like wearing tiger-prints or bones through their noses which is common in other media. Plus they talk like cockneys

>> No.29559050

'Whoi cont we 'ave some meet?'
God I loved that.

>> No.29559110

Well, duh! It's because "black people" resembled trolls.

>> No.29559209

I think the Maasai would be in trouble if they turned to stone in sunlight bub

>> No.29559371

So THAT'S WHY they cover themselves from head to toes with mud mixed with cow shit! Now everything makes sense!

>> No.29559372


>Jackson and his boys invented like 70% of Hobbit dialogues. what the difference if they invent 90% of them?

The homosexual bear dwarfs would talk with pansexual african FtM elves about how white middle class gondorian males are oppressing orks. One elf slut and the multicultural powerpuff girls in the town's place were enough.

>> No.29559457


>> No.29559572


She better dies nom-nommed to death by Smaug and have her barely alive and broken body raped by orks. Dammnit she was so shitty she successfully ruined the movie for me.

>> No.29559580

Hey, wouldn't be those black chicks ripper apart by rightful people as Sauron spies from far Harad? it's funny though - in LotR there are none Black Haradrims, you know, like zulu style - with bones in their noses and shit; I wonder if it's because it would be too political incorrect to see whole fucking race in service of, well, devil.

>> No.29559705


Tolkien didn't gave shit about blacks that's all, and your argument is invalid since everything that is slightly sandniggery or slant-eyed is under sauron's grasp.

>> No.29559833

My bad, I was talking about LoTR movie; in book there are whole armies of Sauron worshipping niggers.

>> No.29560017


Not a single nigger in middle earth (eru be praised) but legions of arabs and mongols.

>> No.29560307

I wish /pol/ would shut up about skin colour in every other lore thread I show up for.

>> No.29560330

You're wrong. Tolkien clearly stated in his book that warriors from Far Harad are black and look like trolls with their red tongues on their chins and rolling eyes. Everything clicks if you ask me...

>> No.29560598


I'm sure you're so degenerate the redhead elvish slut is your new waifu.

>> No.29560633

I'm sure you are insecure and fishing for attention.

>> No.29560647


They are basically more humanoid trolls than blacks. By your definition Uruks are also africans.

>> No.29560683


>Still can't get a joke
>Still hasn't shaved his neck
>Still a secondary

I despise you.

>> No.29560722

And I think /pol/ humor hasn't been funny for over a year now. It's doge tier.

>> No.29560897

No. You're not getting the point. I said that, according to Tolkien, there are blacks in Far Harad and they all are servants of Sauron. Also, according to Tolkien, they looked like trolls (check in LoTR book). Assuming Haradrims from Far Harad were looking like average Zulu warrior it obvious that trolls, according to Tolkien, in some respect resembled negroids. That's it.

>> No.29560969

Don't think it's explicit (or even implied) that all Haradrim worship and/or serve Sauron. Same with the Easterlings.

>> No.29561049


Yest they aren't really blacks like the haradrim who ARE really arabs.

>> No.29561067


B...But ! I find doge jokes really funny.

>> No.29561173

Then you are new here or you are from /v/.

>> No.29561232

But they ARE. Gollum described them as men with black faces. Not half-trolls, subtrolls, black orcs, but BLACK MEN. How hard is that? Lotr Wikia is SHITTY like hell, there is one misconception after another.

>> No.29561305

Sounds like the regular wikipedia.

>> No.29561356


Can't I just enjoy lame pics with doge without being a crossboarding faggot or a newbie ?

>> No.29561557

I want to play a game where you play as Morgoth and have to build a dark fortress/tower like Angband. I picture it like Dwarf Fortress only you can build up as well as dig down. I'd mod DF myself but I can't into computers.

>> No.29561606

Either Moria or any of the million Angband variants. I recommend Sil

>> No.29561724


I think that would be fun as hell.

Imagine, you build up your fortress, raise your loyal Balrogs and Dragons, breed a hoard of fodder orks and then God just drops a tidal wave on you. FUN.

2000 years later you crawl out of prison and need to start over. The ruins of your last Fortress of evil remain and your minions have scattered and bred in the wilds, forgetting you entirely.

Now you must rebuild. Repeat until the end of time.

Dark Lord Fortress: Failure is the only option.

>> No.29561734

Sil is such a colourless variant, though. However it's pretty cool how you can tell destiny to go eat dirt, and steal all three silmarils or just run off with the entire fucking crown.

>> No.29562241


Late to the party, but here we go:


"Ah, Feanor. What passion, what a heart. How surprising that such a spirit would inhabit a pitiful elvish shell."
"Although, he doesn't seem like an elf. He's more like one of us. I've never encountered such beauty."
"To speak nothing of that talent. If this lad was on my side...he would be the mightiest of Arda's forgers."




"Is that how it is. Then, let me disappoint you - I will raise Gotmog and all his Balrogs, so that your dear Feanor will get here only as a handful of ashes!"
*leaves as a streak of flame*
"A few right words, and they'll do all the work for you."

>> No.29564256

I got the idea while playing Overlord and wishing there were more options for upgrading your dark tower. Wish there were more games where you could play as a dark lord type of character.

>> No.29564879

I could see some fuggin opera, bruv. 10/10 would get box seats for

>> No.29564902

I'll try to help a little, Anon. Always willing to help a comrade.

It's possible, though wouldn't that make Melkor Shelob's pa?

>> No.29564924

Yeah, you can, m8. The dog really was super expressive. I'm glad it was memorialized.

>> No.29564946

>Morgoth buildilng a fortress

When's Utumno, teeg?

>> No.29564966


>> No.29564973

Luthian was half Maiar
The gods let her choose her fate
Same thing happened with all her descendants
They got to choose to be mortal or not
Elrond chose to be immortal and his brother Elros chose mortality (but he still live like 500 years)
Read the Fucking Silmarillion

>> No.29564985


>> No.29564999


>> No.29565012

Thank you, Lost Soviet. I appreciate your efforts, and will make note of these for future reference. Where are you from, might I ask?

>> No.29565606


Originally? Ukraine. Currently? NYC.

Glad I could help.

>> No.29565744

I'd like it better if Morgoth was hideous like he is in the source material and not obviously gay. Morgoths form is tremendous, twisted, horrible, and scarred. Not a creature of beauty. Nor can he ever again assume a beautiful shape.

>> No.29568632

I thought it was that he didn't lose the ability to change his shape until after his fight with Fingolfin?

>> No.29569249

Been there, done that. I'm suprised you thought I didn't!

>> No.29569505

Ahh, Gorthaur. How very nice to see you again.

Tell me, does it still sting from when you got your prissy little bitch ass whipped by a teenage Elf?

Aww, got bit by her cute widdle puppy? So sorry I didn't just chuck you out with Mels.

Sincerely, Tulkas.

>> No.29569909

But the dwarves get to rebuild everything.

LIKE EVERYTHING. See a pebble: Ah what fine Khazad work. See a mountain range: Genuine Khazad craftsmanship.

>> No.29570251

Opera would be fukken fantastic!

Imagine the Oath of Feanor: Starts out a solo, then splits to a seven part male choir.

And then Finrod gets AWESUUUUM DETH SEEEEN with male tenor solo.

"His hopeless challenge dauntless cried
Fingolfin there: "Come, open wide,
dark king, your ghastly brazen doors!
Come forth, whom earth and heaven abhors!
Come forth, O monstrous craven lord,
and fight with thine own hand and sword,
thou wielder of hosts of banded thralls,
thou tyrant leaguered with strong walls,
thou foe of Gods and elvish race!
I wait thee here. Come! Show thy face!"

And the whole thing in Elvish.

>> No.29572080

Am I the only one that find homolust Morgoth and Sauron to be likely canon?

>> No.29572423


>> No.29572927

Is that Glorfindel?

>> No.29572975

It's probably Fingolfin, when he taunted Morgoth into challenging him to open combat outside the Iron Hells

>> No.29574285

He lost it when he swiped the Silmarils

>> No.29574307

>not obviously gay
Nothing gay about having a close, personal relationship with your trusted lieutenant, Anon.

>> No.29574747

He said they resemble the most unlovely mongol-types, he didn't say that south east asians were unlovely.

>> No.29575120


>> No.29575160

Does that mean the elves resemble lovely mongol-types?

>> No.29575250

Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.