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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.29331722 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

You are Shax Bonemurder. You are a Raid Leader! You're not too smart so you picked the easiest mission they put in front of you, and you have seven days left to prepare.

This is your current raiding group: http://pastebin.com/mZgVD5yH

You just got done learning and teaching everyone how to ride around without getting themselves killed. Some people got killed anyway! But that's okay, life is full of harsh lessons. As long as you aren't the one learning them.

Squid Face is a really cool friend of yours, and he dropped off two of his friends! They're cave trolls. You don't like them, but they aren't that bad because they haven't tried to eat you yet. They do much of anything, actually, unless you tell them to. Squid Face has weird friends, but you guess you are one, too, so maybe you're weird also?

But with the two trolls added to the group, you're at sixteen members! At least that's what your aide says, and you believe him. He's smarter than you. He says you gotta keep training, and he's usually got good ideas. Still, you're the leader so what is the plan for today?

>Go out recruiting. More minions! A good leader needs lots of minions. You can't get too many more, but a handful could make a difference.
>Train up! You're still not good with this big old sword, and a Raid Leader should probably know how to raid.
>Practice more riding! Your boys can all ride okay and stuff, but you know that running away is the most important part of battle!

>> No.29331763

>>29331722
> Train up.
We need a bit of fighting skill, after all; just LOOKING scary is not enough.

>> No.29331810 [DELETED] 

Step back.

Ask yourself.

With all the quest threads on this board.

Do we REALLY need an oversized weapon quest?

>> No.29331887

>>29331722
>Train up!

>>29331810
Don't shitpost here please.

>> No.29331969

>>29331722
you really need a twitter.

>> No.29332017

>>29331722
>Train up!

>> No.29332029

>>29331969

I've got one. https://twitter.com/Fouldrinking

Regardless. Training it is!

Roll d20s. Best of three. 1 crit fails, 20 crit succeeds.

>> No.29332030

>>29331969
He has one.
https://twitter.com/Fouldrinking

>> No.29332057

Rolled 4

>>29332029

>> No.29332112

Rolled 7

>>29332029

>> No.29332123

Rolled 8

>Train up! You're still not good with this big old sword, and a Raid Leader should probably know how to raid.
>>29332029

>> No.29332167

Low rolls are probably hilariously in character? Writing.

>> No.29332177 [DELETED] 

>>29331887
To wit anon, some consider quest threads in general to be shitposting.

I just think that if /tg/ is going to put up with quest threads, they could be a lot more creative than quests revolving around big weapons.

>> No.29332217 [DELETED] 

This Quest is relevant to my interests.

>> No.29332236 [DELETED] 

>>29332177
>>29332217
I stand corrected. Proceed.

>> No.29332626

this may actually be one of the most interesting quest threads around, so please stop hating guise

>> No.29332864

"Um," You look at Beyto. After spending the last few days with you, the dark elf has started to look a little exhausted. You're not sure why, but he sighs basically all the time. Maybe he's sick? You figure you might as well listen to him for a bit. "Why don't we spend the day training? You keep saying that's a good idea, right?"

It takes a moment for your aide to realize that you're actually looking to do some serious drills. "Oh! Yes. Yeah, why don't we do that? I'll go get us some practice targets and slings. Why don't you and the raiding group spar and practice while I'm out?"

Spar? You guess you could... You nod at Beyto and go to get the boys together. "Alright yous!" You pull out your gruff Leader Voice, "Get your weapons ready! We're gonna practice our sparring for when we get to raiding, you get it?" The boys all nod. Of course you gotta smash some things to do a right proper raid. "So who is gonna be my sparring partner?" They all look nervously at each other. No one is volunteering anyone. Maybe you ought to command someone to volunteer? "Oi, you! Nost! Get over here!" He's a big guy, so he should be fine to spar with. The other goblins look relieved.

The fishmen split off into their own group, and pull out some staves and start sparring normally, and the trolls sorta stand around. The goblins just sorta get into a circle and start beating on each other. Better than nothing you guess.
You pick up your huge sword and level it at Nost. You haven't fought with this before, so you're not too sure how this is gonna work. It's best to sound tough, "Alrighty Nost, you better watch out!" You shout before running at him. You pull your sword back to make a wide swing... and it drags you with it, making you lose your footing and falling down flat on your butt. Nost flinches a bit, holding a thick axe up to try and block the uncoming onslaught.

...Okay. That's not going to work.

>Continued.

>> No.29332899

You get back up. Nost looks a bit confused. You start switching grips and stances, trying to find one that will let you swing without getting thrown around by your own sword while the big goblin looks on confused. It takes a bit, but you plant your feet wide and sorta do this weird crab walk towards the Tonguehunter boy slowly. You pull back for a swing and... Nost just sorta gets in your guard and slams into you with his shoulder, knocking you flat on the ground.

You keep trying different things, but nothing seems to work! You can't figure this dumb sword out! Good thing the boys are too busy elbowing each other in the kidneys to pay attention, and Nost is too stupid to know if this is on purpose or not.

After a little bit, Beyto shows up with various practice supplies. You call the sparring session short before someone notices your embarrassing display. "Alright, that's enough sparrin'!" You wave the boys over to a small shooting range Beyto has set up. "Let's get to work on what my aide has planned." You don't know what he has planned. But he is smart so it has gotta be a good plan!

Beyto explains in very clear terms that even though stabbing people is fun, it is much safer to just kill a person before they get near you. That makes sense. "And to do that," he says, "The easiest thing to train with is a sling." He places a flat rock in a piece of leather, twirls it a bit and flicks his wrist. The rock smacks into the practice dummy's straw head. It looks simple enough! "Now you guys try."

>Continued.

>> No.29332944

The fish boys split off on their own again, tossing small spears at the dummies with various degrees of accuracy. Slings are fortunately so simple, not even goblins can really mess it up, and before to long, and with plenty of help from Beyto, the boys all look ready to toss some rocks.

You all settle in for the night. You have a bad dream about the big sword being too heavy to pick up even though there is a fat merchant down the road with a tasty looking horse. You're never gonna eat that horse. It's pretty upsetting. You wake up in a bad mood.

You've got six days left before you're expected to go out and raid. You're a little worried about your ability with the sword. Your boys are able to ride okay, and are getting into right proper raiding form. You've only got sixteen raiders, so some more might be nice, but too many will make the group bad!

What's the plan, boss?

>Tell the boys to spar while you head into camp for some advice on the sword. Goblins are... kinda stupid. Maybe someone smarter could have some advice?
>We need more minions! Let's go recruitin'!
>Maybe we oughta revist riding lessons for good and proper maneuvers?

>> No.29332965

>>29332944
>Tell the boys to spar while you head into camp for some advice on the sword. Goblins are... kinda stupid. Maybe someone smarter could have some advice?

>> No.29332993

Rolled 2

>>29332944
>Tell the boys to spar while you head into camp for some advice on the sword. Goblins are... kinda stupid. Maybe someone smarter could have some advice?

and maybe we could do some of this while we're at it
>We need more minions! Let's go recruitin'!

>> No.29333025

>>29332993
shit, didnt mean to roll

>> No.29333030

>>29332944
>Tell the boys to spar while you head into camp for some advice on the sword. Goblins are... kinda stupid. Maybe someone smarter could have some advice?

>> No.29333091

>>29332944
>>We need more minions! Let's go recruitin'!

>> No.29333100

>>29332944
>Tell the boys to spar while you head into camp for some advice on the sword. Goblins are... kinda stupid. Maybe someone smarter could have some advice?

>> No.29333149

>>29332944
>Tell the boys to spar while you head into camp for some advice on the sword. Goblins are... kinda stupid. Maybe someone smarter could have some advice?

>> No.29333169

>>29332944
>Tell the boys to spar while you head into camp for some advice on the sword. Goblins are... kinda stupid. Maybe someone smarter could have some advice?

>> No.29333190

Seems pretty unanimous. Writing.

>> No.29333566

"You stupid gits need to get to work on fighting!" You say, kicking a couple in the shins while they're lazing about. You're a little mad about how yesterday went. Squid Face was nice enough to give you magical bracelets even though you're a dumb goblin and you can't even figure out how to use 'em. It makes you feel bad. The goblins scramble up and start working on their sparring. The trolls laze about some more. Those things don't really need practice... they do what comes natural. The fishmen all seem to be on top of things already, so you walk over to Beyto and put your hands on your hips. "Make sure they learn proper fighting, okay? I don't want all that eye poking and groin kicking from yesterday." The dark elf raises an eyebrow over his cup of brown smelly stuff.

"Okay... I guess I can try to teach them actual forms. But don't most of them just skulk around and stab things? Not much to teach there."

Beyto is a pretty smart dude, but even he can be dumb sometimes! You place your hands on your hips and shake your head. "You don't get it! There is all sorta intra- entre- entry..casies to proper skulkin' and stabbin'." Any goblin could tell you that. "These boys are already good at that! You gotta teach them proper fighting skills!"

He puts his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll do my best."

"I'm goin' into camp on some errands." You say. Maybe he knows some people who could help out? "Hey, you know swordmasters and stuff right? What if I, uh, want to send one of the bigger boys on a training session? Who could help him out with handlin' weapons?"

Beyto recommends a few people.

>Head to the orc camp. They're big and loud, but they could give you some advice. They're a little reckless though, so you might learn some bad habits!
>Find the dark elven slave pits. A proper trainer could help you out, but you'd have to convince him.
>Seek the short grey dudes with red hair he mentioned about. Apparently they're small like you but can fight really good!

>> No.29333630

>>29333566
>Find the dark elven slave pits. A proper trainer could help you out, but you'd have to convince him.
This or orcs. Dark elves have been nice to use so far.

>> No.29333642

>>29333566

>Seek out the short grey dudes with red hair; as a species at that height, they must already have a combat system structured around the taller folk.

>> No.29333658

>>29333566
>Seek the short grey dudes with red hair he mentioned about. Apparently they're small like you but can fight really good!

>> No.29333670

Rolled 9

>>29333566
>Find the dark elven slave pits. A proper trainer could help you out, but you'd have to convince him.

>> No.29333695

>>29333566
>Head to the orc camp. They're big and loud, but they could give you some advice. They're a little reckless though, so you might learn some bad habits!

Isn't raiding what they do best?

>> No.29333741

>>29333630
>to use
*to us

>> No.29333769

>>29333741

I make a hundred typos a post, so don't beat yourself up too much.

>> No.29333809

>>29333769
Even though I'm on an anonymous imageboard, I feel retarded if I misspell something.

>> No.29333831

>>29333566
>Seek the short grey dudes with red hair he mentioned about. Apparently they're small like you but can fight really good!
Seems most useful to us.

>> No.29333862

>>29333566
>Find the dark elven slave pits. A proper trainer could help you out, but you'd have to convince him.

This or the gray dudes. Orcses are stupid and they can't teach small guys like us.

>> No.29333924

Alright. Duergar it is. Writing.

>> No.29334040

>>29333924
did we just send our sword gobloli to get teached by axe wielding minions instead of drow masterrace?

>> No.29334077

>>29334040

Hopefully, yes.

>> No.29334334

According to Beyto, there are some short guys who are reeeeaal good at fighting. You're short, too. Maybe they've got some tips? Beyto says they are on the opposite side of the camp from the "illithids" who you think are what Squid Face is. Apparently, most people don't like them, but these guys SUPER don't like them. There have been all sorts of arguments in the upper levels of command because of it. Well, whatever. You aren't that important so you don't have to worry that much about it! If people get too crazy all the goblins will just go hide.

Anyway, you head into camp. You get the usual assortment of stares, and people calling out and saying mean things to you. It doesn't hurt your feelings no matter how mean they are. Probably. Maybe the meaner things do. But you'd never show it! But as you approach the part of camp the short guys are supposed to be at, things calm down. There are a lot more fires and proper buildings. Most of the people working here are kobold slaves, and you wonder why there are so many out here.

There is a big fire ahead. A bunch of shapes are around it, and it sounds like a party. There is dancing and fighting and swearing. As you get closer you can make them out. They're short, but not as short as you thought they'd be. They do have red hair, and almost all of em have big beards. They are all decked out in proper metal armor, though, unlike you. Maybe your cool paint job will make up for it?

"What the hell is this?" A slurred voice calls out from your side, "Some sorta goblin?!" It shouts.

"fuckin' hate goblins" "your mum's a goblin" "haven't killed a goblin in months" "who the fuck invited a goblin?"

You're a little nervous! These guys are sorta scary. Your knees are shaking.

"What're you doin' here, little beastie?" A big dwarf lumbers out towards you. Stepping back a bit when he sees your sword.

>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.
>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

>> No.29334373

>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.

>> No.29334410

>>29334334
>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!
and that you're a raid leader!

>> No.29334416

>>29334334
>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

They are supposed to be dwarves, right? I'm sure they'd like the aggressive approach... I am right?

>> No.29334447

>>29334334
>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.
Obviously this.

>> No.29334455

>>29334334
>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.
You're going raiding and you need someone to help you with your blade so you don't hit your friends half the time.

>> No.29334457

>>29334334
>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

"I'm a goblin, and my name is Shax, not little beastie. I'm a Raid Leader, and I want to learn how to use this big hunk of metal."

>> No.29334478

>>29334334
>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.

>> No.29334484

>>29334457
this

>> No.29334534

>>29334334

>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.
>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

Why not both at the same time?

>> No.29334535

>>29331722
I just noticed the image name.
8/10 i laughed

>> No.29334539

>>29334334
>>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.
>>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

Why not both?

>> No.29334618

Even split? FINAL ELIMINATION. Best of three decides it.

>> No.29334628

>>29334618
>>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.
>>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

Do both

>> No.29334644

Rolled 1

>>29334618
>>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

>> No.29334651

>>29334618

>>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.

>> No.29334655

>>29334618

>>Ask him if he knows someone who can help you out with sword practice.

>> No.29334660

>>29331722
>>29334535
Oh, I didn't even notice. It is a chuckleworthy filename indeed.

>> No.29334688

Rolled 4

>>29334618
>Tell him you're a goblin, not a beastie!

>> No.29334692

Alright! Writing.

Sorry to the 'do both' people. I should have made it more clear in the options that its more of how you react to him attitude wise than the actual words of your response.

That's my bad, and I apologize for the confusion.

>> No.29334726

Rolled 3

tell him you are a goblim

>> No.29334798

>>29334692

That much was apparent; however, I saw no reason why we could not react in such fashion.

Shorthand: "I'm a goblin not a beastie! (prove it with a challenge) We're going to fail miserably, and in so doing we can use this as an excuse to get advice and pointers on how to use our weapon."

>> No.29334967

I really fucking like the writing, OP. Keep it up no matter what any faggots say.

>> No.29335034

>>29334967

No arguments here.

>> No.29335061

>>29334967
Hatters gonna hat and whatnot

>> No.29335291

You flinch back a bit when the shot guy starts moving near you. He doesn't seem very nice. You really want to run away. But, Beyto said these guys were good at fighting, and Beyto is smart. "Uhm... s-sorry. I was only coming by to see if someone can help me learn how to use this thing." You sorta hold the sword out to the dwarf. Several of them laugh at you. The laughs are pretty mean and scary. You look over your shoulder. If you have to enact the emergency goblin special run away plan, you've got a couple of ways you can scurry. You hope you don't have to do that.

"Am I seein' things? How's that small thing carrying that?" "Fuckin' goblin is stronger than you Demeri." "The hell it is!" A small brawl breaks out. You take several steps back. A couple others turn their backs at you, losing interest quick. The guy who lumbered towards you looks at the sword, stroking his beard. "Where'd you get a sword like this? Goblins don't usually loot big things that aren't worth much, and as far as I know you don't have any proper smiths." He taps his knuckles on the flat of your blade. "Well forged, for such shite metal at least."

"I got it from the quartermaster." These guys are dwarves right? Aren't they greedy? "If you take it from me he'll probably be mad!" Mad at you for losing it. There is no way you'll get another kit from him.

He glares at you for a moment. "You said you wanted help with this, right? I might know some folks. What're you gonna do for me, though?" He crosses his arms. "I doubt you got any coin worth mentioning. Or items worth a damn. I ain't interested in goblins, so don't even think of offerin' your body."

>You're a Raid Leader! Try to convince him with leadering.
>This guy is too bossy, try to find someone else around here.

>> No.29335319

>>29335291
Awwww yissss. fucking leadering him!

>> No.29335320

>You're a Raid Leader! Try to convince him with leadering.

>> No.29335328

>>29335291
You're going to be raiding right? Convince him that you know an empty spot on a raiding party and can get him in.

>> No.29335362

>>29335291
>You're a Raid Leader! Try to convince him with leadering.

"I heard you guys were good at fighting, but I guess you don't know anything after all."

>> No.29335371

>>29335291
>You're a Raid Leader! Try to convince him with leadering.

>> No.29335378

Rolled 18

>>29335291
>You're a Raid Leader! Try to convince him with leadering.

>> No.29335400

>>29335291
>You're a Raid Leader! Try to convince him with leadering.

Might be able to kill two birds with one stone if Shax does a good enough job at not rolling 1s forever.

>> No.29335411

/tg/ ain't ever seen a challenge it doesn't wanna face I guess.

Writing.

>> No.29335420

>>29335362
Hah, this.

>> No.29335666

He may be scary, but you are a Raid Leader. You bet he doesn't even have a rank! "I heard you dumb grey guys were good at fighting." You say, "But I guess you don't know anything more than my dark elf minion." You plant the sword in the ground and put your hands on your hips. "Now I'm a Raid Leader, I got some right proper raiding to do, and I don't have long to do it. So are you gonna teach me or not?" If you're good enough you might even get to go raiding with me."

The dwarf seems a bit speechless. "Yer getting dressed down by a wee goblin lass, Rehar!" A few people laugh at him. One slaps him on the back. "She's got a bit of fire in 'er. You sure you want to teach her how to fight? Ya might get burned." The dwarf named Rehar growls and walks forward.

"I'm not going on no suicide mission with a runt like you, and I sure as hell won't let any body say I'm not as good as a fucking elf. If he's so smart, I'll see if he taught you anything proper." He points at a duergar off to the side. "Kam, go get my axe. And you, goblin girl, if you can last one round with me I'll let you know a good trainer who might know a thing or two."

You gulp. "And, uh, if I lose?" He already said he doesn't want anything from you. He grins.

"I get the satisfaction of kicking your ass, then you tell me where that elf is, and I'll kick his ass, too."

So if you lose, there is no downside? What a deal!

>Roll a d20. Same rules as always.

>> No.29335707

Rolled 19

>>29335666
It's time. Our choppa is betta than his

>> No.29335710

Rolled 9

>>29335666
Kick his ass!

>> No.29335748

>>29335707
Yessssssssss

>> No.29335750

Rolled 19

>>29335666
Here we go!

>> No.29335754

Rolled 17

>>29335666

Praise be to the goddess of dice!

>> No.29335767

Rolled 20

>>29335707
>>29335750
Two ninteens. Does that mean we win?

>> No.29335782

Rolled 18

>>29335750
>>29335707
awww shit nigga! It's fucking time!

>> No.29335787

>>29335707
The dice gods look upon our gobbololi with a smile.

>> No.29335795

I forgot you could succeed rolls. Writing.

>> No.29335802

>>29335767
>>29335750
>>29335707

Dwarves gunna git fukt

>> No.29335804

>>29335767
The dice seem to be in a good mood today.

>> No.29335806

>>29335767
Goddamnit

>> No.29335815

>>29335767
>tfw dice gods don't fuck you over

>> No.29335818

>>29335707
>>29335750
>>29335754
>>29335767
>>29335782
I guess the dice gods are drunk again.

>> No.29335846

>>29335291
>"Well forged, for such shite metal at least."
Tell him it's called a katana.

>> No.29335851

>>29335795
Better to be lucky than skilled.

>> No.29335852

>>29335767
Damn it, now I'm gonna be wondering if that was just beginners luck until the next time I get a twenty.

>> No.29335866

>>29335846
10/10 would slap knees again

>> No.29335875

Rolled 18

>>29335707
>>29335750
>>29335754
>>29335767
>>29335782

>> No.29335876

Rolled 12

>>29335818

Drunk off Dwarvish brew perhaps; time to kick some Dwarf ass!

>> No.29335877

>>29333566
>so you walk over to Beyto and put your hands on your hips.
>You place your hands on your hips and shake your head
How many hands do we have?

>> No.29335891

>>29335876

Disregard this roll, forgot to remove roller.

>> No.29335897

>>29335707
>>29335750
>>29335754
>>29335767
>>29335782
Wow.

>> No.29335902

>>29335877

You've got four arms. You're secretly a thri-keen. You've been making a background disguise check this whole time.

Or I need an editor.

>> No.29335935

>>29335902
mutant goblins not unheard of.

Maybe we've never noticed.

>> No.29335939

>>29335902

>> No.29335959

>>29335902
Daddy was a Gobbo
Momma was a Thrikeen

>> No.29335981

>>29335902
>>29335935
I wouldn't mind us having four arms. Maybe we just keep two of them wrapped around our chest most of the time.

>> No.29336049

>>29335935
>>29335981
We actually think boobs are a second pair of arms that females have. For some reason some people are embarrassed about them, so we keep ours hidden too.

>> No.29336055

>>29335981
In the not spirit of this quest. How big is our chest? I'm thinking like b because we're little goblin girl

>> No.29336117

>>29336055
We're not a little girl.
We're an adult goblin.
We're just short because our clan tends to be short.

>> No.29336129

>>29336055

I'd wager A to B, nothing more. They're not a focus of our character, in mindset or story, after all.

>> No.29336157

>>29336055
Looks like we're a flat, judging from OP image.
Which might be lifelong, since I only recall World of Warcraft goblins having any chest to speak of.

>> No.29336163

>>29336055
Atleast doubles Qs

>> No.29336198

>>29336129
She'll learn one day, anon. This is /tg/. They all learn.

>> No.29336253

>>29336198

Perhaps, but today is not that day.

>> No.29336303

>>29336055
>>29336157
What if we are just less corrupt COC goblins?
(

>> No.29336327

>>29336303
>>29336198
Can we not? This quest is actually good.

>> No.29336331

>>29336303
Please no, don't go there. I like this quest I don't want it to die.

>> No.29336359

>>29336303
As much as I'd like that, anon. I don't think this is that type of quest. Also, I kinda like the childish behavior. It's refreshing.

>> No.29336369

>>29335902
>Losing badly in fight
>Suddenly pull out two extra arms to help use the sword

There's a good reason they gave a tiny goblin that huge sword. They know! They all know!

>> No.29336389

>>29336303
/d/ plz go

And I say that as somebody from /d/.

>> No.29336425

>>29335959
Who actually were our parents?

>> No.29336430

>>29336389
>>29336359
>>29336331
>>29336327
You are all wonderful people

>> No.29336449

>>29336430

>> No.29336450

>>29336425

Shrugs, some goblins somewhere, not like it matters. They were goblins after all.

>> No.29336454

>>29336430
I second this.

>> No.29336456

Rolled 10

>>29336327
>>29336331
>>29336359
>>29336389
>>29336430

I wholeheartedly agree with these gentlemen.

>> No.29336505

>>29336303
>Obvious Forgotten Realms setting
>Bringing CoC into this

How about no.

>> No.29336551

>>29336505

Quick note on this. It's officially not Forgotten Realms, as I don't know enough about the pantheon or geography of that setting for various monsters.

It is just heavily Forgotten Realms inspired, as I can't get enough of the most generic fantasy shit possible. You can expect most DnD species to be in the setting, but it isn't like other stuff is not to be considered.

>> No.29336592

>>29336551
Normally I just run a mash up of all settings into one and wing it. Works out great.

>> No.29336597

>>29336551
Also we don't worship the shitty FR goblins gods. And hopefully Elminster isn't here.

>> No.29336623

Well, he said last one round. That means you don't have to beat him... right? How long is a round? How do you end a round? These dwarves are sneaky, and didn't tell you anything. But still, Maybe you've got a chance. You pluck the sword out of the ground, and try to remember what messed you up yesterday. It ought to be easier to play defensively with this big old thing. The dwarf grabs an axe, with an ornate single blade. He hefts it in one hand, and grabs a thick heater in the other.

"Alright, lass, let's make this quick." He comes at you with a charge, and you barely get your sword up in time to catch a blow with a loud clang. You get knocked back a bit, but you when you push the sword forward the momentum carries you enough to push the dwarf back.

"she's quick with it, eh?" "how the hell did she move it so fast?"

Ruhar looks a little surprised and backs off a second, testing your reflexes with a few more swings. batting away his weapon is easy enough, and even though you're stumbling about every time you wave your sword you manage to not trip up or anything else disastrous. Noticing your week footing, Ruhar charges forward with his shield, crashing into you. You manage to block him with your blade, but he ends up pushing you back. As you are falling backwards, he sends his axe swinging at your head... but just misses. You manage to catch your feet and stay up.

This guy is relentless! You might have to go on the offensive if you want to win. You hop back a bit and rear back for a swing, keeping your feet planted firmly.

>Continued.

>> No.29336650

"Shit!" You hear Ruhar say, trying to decide if he has enough time to rush you, or if he should back up a bit. The hesitation costs him, and by the time he chooses to rush in, you've recovered enough to bring the sword around. A large 'WHOOSH' is heard as the huge hunk of metal comes careening towards him, and he barely gets his shield up in time to meet the blade. Your sword skips off the shield, and sends the dwarf sprawling to the side. You're a bit caught up in the momentum and are spinning around for a moment. You've almost made a full circle... hell, why not keep going? You start pulling the sword up and bring it about overhead as the spin completes, crashing it down between the dwarf's legs. Your feet basically get lifted up off the ground as you sink the blade mere inches from castrating the duergar.

The crowd goes silent. "I think... ya got me, lass." Ruhar leaves his axe on the ground and pulls his heater off, standing up and dusting himself off. A sheen of sweat is seen on his face. "I wasn't expecting ya to be so quick with that monster, yer a gale of destruction." He scratches his head.

"she beat yer ass, mate" "fuck me, that thing is scary" "pretty sure that's not a goblin, you guys"

He looks about a bit, growling at the surrounding dwarves. "Still, I think if I knew what you were up to before we headed into the fight, I coulda won easily. You got some serious holes in your footwork, and the sheer destructive power of that sword can't do shit if you can't even hit a thing."

You stick your tongue out at him. You hit him just fine! You think about telling him that, but decide against it. You don't want to make him mad.

"Well, a promise is a promise. I'll introduce you to some a lady who can probably teach you a thing or two, then. Follow me." He seems a bit quick to get out of the place, before the fact he lost to a goblin sinks in for his drunken comrades. That is the sort of thing that gets you made fun. A lot.

>Continued

>> No.29336688

>>29336623
>>29336650
Awwwww shit!
Would have been a bit cooler if we wrecked his fucking shield

>> No.29336731

>>29336688
A victory is still a victory. Let's not get too enthusiastic.

>> No.29336732

>>29336650
>mere inches from castrating the duergar.
Is this what they mean by the best swordsman fearing the worst swordsman?

>> No.29336753

>>29336359
>>29336331
>>29336327
>>29336430
>>29336456
>Anons actually agreeing that loli is not for lewds.
>mfw

>> No.29336778

>>29336732
It's exactly what they mean.

We had no idea what we were doing and even less real control, so he couldn't defend either.

>> No.29336851

))Aaaaannnd that's all I got for tonight. Which isn't saying much as I generally do very little prep work and just try to wing it for everything.

Thanks again for playing! No thread tomorrow, and sorry for running this one at a different time. I'll probably do one Wednesday, and see if I can't make it a long one to make up for the shortness of this one and the last.

You guys honestly seem like a pretty cool audience, so I hope I can keep meeting your expectations!

>> No.29336859

>>29336731
I disagree. I propose we celebrate appropriately.

>> No.29336865

>>29336650
I hope Ithillid friend won't hate us for this...

>> No.29336885

>>29336851
Looking forward to it

>> No.29336890

>>29336650
>"she beat yer ass, mate" "fuck me, that thing is scary" "pretty sure that's not a goblin, you guys"

I like these guys

Aww yiss, dwarven combat training.

>> No.29336897

>>29336851
Thank you for this OP, you're writing is pretty cool.
See you wednesday

>> No.29336900

>>29336851

>Continued

Was that the end, or did you forget to remove this?

Also great job, as always, I look forward to the next meet up. Perhaps the gods of dice will smile upon us then as well...

>> No.29336902

>>29336865
Why would he?

>> No.29336908

>>29336865
He's probably gunna freak the fuck out, but, he's not gunna leave because we're his project or something

>> No.29336988

>>29336900

Forgot to remove.

>>29336865

Duergars hate Illithids. Illithids don't concern themselves with the opinions of lesser species.

The Drow Matriarch basically brought the Illithids into the alliance, and the Black Dragon brought the duergars.

Of course, you don't know any of that.

>> No.29337004

>>29336988
We do now. You've unleashed the meta.

>> No.29337064

I like this one.

I haven't liked one of these for a while.

Good job, OP. You're a Freddie Mercury faggot today.

>> No.29337069

>>29336988

Send me a message when you get a chance.e-mail field.

>> No.29337109

>>29337069
Anon what.

>> No.29337140

>>29337109

I simply had a few questions I wanted to ask OP; which I felt didn't need to be spread out across this thread.

>> No.29337278

What if we aren't a goblin

>> No.29337287

>>29337278

We are.

>> No.29337308

>>29337287
What if we're not though

>> No.29337322

>>29337278
We're a fully grown, adult goblin woman who got misissued gear, gifted with an item so we can use it, an' now we'z da boss.

>> No.29337332

>>29337308

BUT ANON.

WHAT IF WE ARE?

>> No.29337413

You should tell the story of the ogre who got issued with goblin equipment Fouldrinker.

>> No.29337473

>>29337140

Sorry, I really don't know how to handle that sorta thing so I'll pass.

>>29337413

He picked his teeth with the goblin sword, punched some people in the face, and made himself a club out of some construction equipment.

>> No.29337483

>>29336988
> Of course, you don't know any of that

>>29334334
> Beyto says they are on the opposite side of the camp from the "illithids" who you think are what Squid Face is. Apparently, most people don't like them, but these guys SUPER don't like them.
hat.

>> No.29337502

>>29337483
It's cool, Illithids are crazy psychic supremacists. They don't give a fuck if nobody likes them. We should be more concerned that the Elder Brain looks into Squidface's mind and finds out he's been wasting time with a goblin.

>> No.29337516

>>29337483
I think he meant the second part.

>> No.29337544

>>29337473
>not learning to finesse the tiny blade and dressing in a fancy hat

>> No.29337891

>>29337544
I'll tell you what the lads need.

Poisoned blades.

It's amazing how much of an equalizer a little poison can be.


The only problem is I'm not sure I'd trust this lot with poisoned blades. Last thing we need to do is wipe out our town raid group before they even see an enemy.

>> No.29342234

>>29337891
We already lost at least one goblin to poison mishandling. While it was of the dumber goblins, even by goblin standards, I'd agree it seems a bit risky.

>> No.29342267

>>29337322
Uh, we're actually a gobbololi. Just saiyan. Still da bosz, though.

>> No.29343524

>>29342234
I think what we need is a poison which doesn't affect goblins.

Is there such a poison?

Who do we know who might know?

>> No.29343734

>>29336732
>Is this what they mean by the best swordsman fearing the worst swordsman?

I just realized we're basically playing pic related.

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