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[ERROR] No.28915262 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

If elves are all beautiful and young forever, why is this guy fat?

>> No.28915297

>>28915262

Because there are various degrees of beauty, and someone probably thinks he's hot.

>> No.28915306

Too much Lembas bread.

>> No.28915315

>>28915262
for a good part of human history having some extra fat was considered good looking since it implied you could afford plenty of food and not starve

>> No.28915320

Subjective definitions of beauty. Tolkien's elves are generally lithe but not universally, there is some variation among them, such as the Mirkwood elves.

>> No.28915354

He might not be a full-blood elf.

Elrond isn't.

>> No.28915366

Lembas bread is fucking delicious

>> No.28915370

He's actually a human. He's just pretending to be an elf for a movie.

>> No.28915408

>>28915262
Because fuck you.

>> No.28915425

>>28915354
Elrond the half-elvan is canonically human/elf halfbreed of all elves in the novel serieses.

>> No.28915441

He is a dwarf in disguise . What other way would he kill 200 elves in a single fight besides leading them to die?

>> No.28915446

because he is an american actor (and a jew)

>> No.28915523

>all elves must be lithe in order to be beautiful

>> No.28915525

>>28915315
>>28915297
holy shit where am i? is this some elaborate reddit trick?

>> No.28915598

>>28915262
if the Balrog has wings, why didn't it stop itself from falling?

>Eagles not giving Frodo a ride

>Ork gunpowder but no guns

>wearing the one ring on your dick

>> No.28915604

>>28915523

But...that's a dorf, anon...

>> No.28915605

>>28915262
Is that the same actor as Sam Tarly?

>> No.28915614

>>28915525
not gonna argue about whether fat is considered pretty now but the bit about people liking it since it showed you could eat is true (though i doubt it got to the morbid obesity that currently runs rampant in the US and mexico)

>> No.28915631

>>28915425
Something is wrong with that sentence.

>> No.28915636

>>28915370

I actually like the idea of a proto-cosplayer.

>> No.28915639

>>28915425
Except for his twin, Elros.

>> No.28915675

>>28915614
do elves even need to eat?

>> No.28915714

>>28915262
because Tolkein broke the "our elves are better" stereotype before it was a thing. beautiful, perfect, immortal...and dying in droves, with a lot of ugly people and douchebags in this so-called superior race

>> No.28915717

>>28915675
god I hate all the Morgoth X Sauron crap, so retarded. Go back to deviant art

>> No.28915723

>>28915598

I haven't heard the last one yet.

>> No.28915752

>>28915723
Warning: NSFW and terribly juvenile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOrRWw07F7k

>> No.28915760

>>28915639
Elros died.

>> No.28915762

>>28915262

I think he's handsone as fuck

>> No.28915777

>>28915262
Thanks OP - I wondered what happened to that guy after the American Pie movies stopped being made

>> No.28915778

>>28915262
That's not really fat.

>> No.28915780

>>28915714
>lot of ugly people

citation needed

>so-called superior race

they are pretty fucking superior in literally every way. unless its a whos best at sucking contest

numenoreans may have been able to give them a run for their money though

>> No.28915802

>>28915598
Tolkien never actually said whether the Balrogs had wings or not.

Sauron would have seen the eagles coming.

Saruman made gunpowder, not Orcs.

I'm not sure how to respond to the last one.

>> No.28915813

>>28915717
>asking for it this hard

>> No.28915850

>>28915752
how did they get a hinge on the ring?

>> No.28915877

>>28915813
I like this art because it really illustrates how Numenor could have fallen to his charms.

>> No.28915902

>>28915262
They explained this somewhere. Something about eating too much

>> No.28915908

>>28915717
>Not liking cute feminine Sauron
You talking shit about best girl, faggot?

>> No.28915958

>>28915902
lembas bread is unnatural to the elven diet. blame the bitch queen galadriel

in b4 lembas is elven. its not

>> No.28916023

>>28915958
Melian is where it's at, yo.

>> No.28916062

Aren't elves in lotr supposed to have black hair?

What gives?

>> No.28916077

>>28916023
i would go for yavanna but i get the feeling shes the super hippie type and doesnt take care of her "situation" very well

>> No.28916089

>>28916062
Depends on their Elven nationality.

>> No.28916110

>>28916062
hackson strikes again. in case people dont know, elves werent even at fucking helms deep

>> No.28916113

>>28916062
>Peter Jackson didn't follow the books
Oh wow what a revelation

Also not all of them, there's different ethnic groups.

>> No.28916119

>>28915877
wat

>> No.28916127

>>28915262
>heard you played a role in the lotr film.
>yeah, i played (name)
>eh, i didn't recall a character of that name
>there is, he's the elf commander in helms deep
>nope, still don't ring a bell
>the fat elf, ok. i played the fat elf
>ahh now i remember

>> No.28916142

>>28916119
>he didn't read the Silmarillion

>> No.28916155

>>28916089
the only elves with blonde hair in middle earth are galadriel and i think glorfindel although its never explained where the latter got blonde hair from

every other blonde elf lives in aman

>> No.28916184

In this scene, Frodo and Sam are at Osgillioth while it's under siege from orcs. Frodo pulls out his sword, but it doesn't glow. Why is this?

>> No.28916195

>>28916113
They're based on svartálfar, suck my dick.

>> No.28916198

>>28916077
Just so, ya need to have stoic waifus.

>> No.28916206

>>28916184
frodo is kill. its all dream

>> No.28916222

>>28916155
The Elves or Mirkwood are blonde because they're refugees from Beleriand and Beleriand was populated by the Teleri who were mostly blonde.

>> No.28916234

>>28916222
nope

>> No.28916262

>>28916234
>nope

Great counter point, I'm so sure you know what you're talking about.

>> No.28916271

>>28916155
>every other blonde elf lives in a man
Tolkien's elves are actually not supposed to be gay.

>> No.28916292

>>28916142
as in why the fuck would the Numenorean kings be persuaded to sail their navy by the stupid trope of Sauron that these comics show. Sauron is the Lord of the Rings and right hand to Morgoth. He is cunning and evil, not weak and effeminate.

>> No.28916293

>>28916262
oh sorry i guess i just expected you to use the internet. or you know...read the fucking books before posting about it.

http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Vanyar
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Noldor
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Teleri

>> No.28916302

>>28916271
>Tolkien's elves are actually not supposed to be gay.
lots of people will say that people today aren't supposed to be gay, but that doesn't stop them does it

>> No.28916324

>>28916302
exactly, just look at OP

>> No.28916331

>>28916293
I don't need to use a wiki retard, I've read the books. Now are you trying to tell me that Thingol and his kin were not Teleri? Why don't you try looking that up on your wiki?

>> No.28916370

>>28916331
im telling you thingol and his kin didnt have blonde hair you fucking idiot. only the vanyar have it. galadriel is related to a vanyar which is why she has blonde hair, which is why her having blonde hair is such a huge deal.

in before "i was only pretending to be retarded"

>> No.28916427

>>28916370
oh that reminds me, i think thrandiul also has blonde hair, also thats not explained either. so the elves on middle earth have it

>> No.28916445

>>28916427
>three

>> No.28916455

>>28916445
>three important elves

>> No.28916480

The night it was released I remember some guy in the theatre yelling out something to the effect of "porker" when this guy came on screen.

>> No.28916491

>>28916370
>only the vanyar have it

The Teleri were light haired also dipshit. Your own fucking wiki links say so, didn't you bother reading those?

>> No.28916523

>>28916455
well thranduil is only in the hobbit. i think its why its blonde, he wrote it before he has the bloodlines straight.

glorfindel is all kinds of weird and i think tolkien got mixed up when he was bringing him back to life or something.

anyway neither of them are important in lotr and people who just watched the movie would have no idea who they are. three elves out of tens of thousands isnt very much

>> No.28916534

Could Smaug have defeated Sauron during the battle Isildur was in if he'd been there at the time?

>> No.28916545

>>28916523
Tolkien never said that LotR Glorfindel was Gondolin Glorfindel.

>> No.28916558

>>28916534
maybe, Smaug and the other dragons are pretty badass.

>> No.28916565

>>28916491
cant you read? do you understand the difference between blonde and silver? its different colors anon. try really hard to figure it out. i didnt say all the elves should have black hair, i said they didnt have blonde.

the vanyar are noted to be unique because of their blonde hair, its something that sets them apart from the other elves

are you sure you read the books?

>> No.28916567

>>28916534
dragons > Maiar so probably

>> No.28916594

>>28916545
>Tolkien never said that LotR Glorfindel was Gondolin Glorfindel.

yeah i know, its why i said his shit is all messed up. by bringing him back to life i also mean recycling the name/character

>> No.28916596

>>28915523
Good Lord she is really something.

>> No.28916604

>>28916565
The Teleri were not silver haired they were light haired.

Where did you get the idea that light = silver, exactly?

>> No.28916615

>>28916596
shes a coal burner with a really annoying voice

>> No.28916640

>>28915639

And his daddy, Earendil Half Elven, as well as the daughter of Turin Turumbar and that race mixing elf twat.

>> No.28916644

>>28915262
If elves are the wisest and fairest of all beings how come a couple of em were drunk and asleep and allowed the dwarves to escape?

>> No.28916701

>>28916594
There still isn't a good political map of Westeros is there?

>> No.28916731

>>28916604
>The Teleri were not silver haired they were light haired.

im going to assume youre just a shitty troll from now on. but if you are really wondering where in the would i could have possible came about this information its from the book

they also had dark haired elves in the teleri since they were the biggest and had the most diversity you could say.

>> No.28916749

>>28916567
>dragons > Maiar
Says who?

>> No.28916753

>>28916701
>political map

yuk

>> No.28916772

>>28916701
The borders keep changing.

>> No.28916788

>>28915598

>Upon having discovered explosive powders, mankind invented guns in a matter of days

Yeah, nah. Nigger.

>> No.28916849

>>28916184
>because it only glows when goblins are near

>> No.28916885

>>28916731
>but if you are really wondering where in the would i could have possible came about this information its from the book

which is why you're relying on a wiki apparently

Anyway I'm still waiting for you to cite the page in which Tolkien says that all Teleri were silver or dark haired and that only the Vanyar were blonde. Can't you even find that in your wiki articles?

>> No.28916890

>>28916292

Right you are, and a cunning and evil thing will portray a weak an effeminate thing if it needs to, to serve it's ends.

>> No.28916893

>>28916849
b-but when Sam killed the low orc Sting was g-glowing.

>> No.28916909

>>28915778

All the people defending fatness of a sign of wealth were normal people knowing a thing or two about history.

-This- guy, however, this one reeks of fat acceptance

>> No.28916911

>>28916893
probably a goblin nearby then.

>> No.28916927

>>28916849
Goblin is the Hobbit term for Orc.

There is no fucking racial division between Goblins and Orcs, they're two names for the same race.

>>28916749
The armies of Valinor were in a rough spot when Morgoth unleashed his dragons.

>> No.28916929

>>28915262
he's the Elven equivalent of a 300lbs neckbeard

>> No.28916954

>>28916885
>Anyway I'm still waiting for you to cite the page

yeah ill get right on that kiddo. just keep waiting and i promise ill be back. like i give a shit what some poser with the reading comprehension of a turtle thinks.

but hey, i hear the audio tape for the silmarillion is pretty good. maybe you could give that a try

>> No.28916972

>>28915780

>Superior race
>Getting their asses handed to them everywhere except Rivendel and Lothlorien
>Their lands encroached upon constantly
>Their people dying
>Stagnating technologically

Sort of like white people, amirite?

>> No.28916979

>>28916927
>Goblin is the Hobbit term for Orc.
(citation needed)

>There is no fucking racial division between Goblins and Orcs, they're two names for the same race.
(citation needed)

>> No.28916997

>>28916911
nope. Sting faded as the orc died in the movie.

>> No.28917004

>>28916890
Or he was just a brutal and twisted dictator who knew how to twist the wills of men with magic.

" Sauron was become now a sorcerer of dreadful power, master of shadows and of phantoms, foul in wisdom, cruel in strength, misshaping what he touched, twisting what he ruled, lord of werewolves; his dominion was torment. "
—J.R.R. Tolkien

Him becoming Ar Pharazon's advisor echos Grima Wormtongue.

>> No.28917014

>>28916954
I take it you've accepted that you're wrong and you're trying to hide your shame with reaction images and childish insults.

Really, how much trouble can it be for you to look through the wiki articles you rely so much on? Copy and paste the article with the appropriate citation on how the Vanyar and only the Vanyar were blonde.

>> No.28917026

>>28915675
>>28916155
Pls more.

>> No.28917047

>>28916972
>Sort of like white people, amirite?

your baits a little too obvious. try talking about cg orcs and two legged "dragons"

>> No.28917066

>>28917026

>> No.28917078

>>28916997
Was it clear that it was an orc?
Maybe it was a goblin, maybe the film had a mistake in it.

>> No.28917086

>>28916155

>implying the Noldor did not have blonde hair
>implying the Noldor did not return to Middle Earth
>implying their golden hair would not linger

>> No.28917087

>>28917026
i dont have anymore, i just saved the least faggot ones i saw on here. you could head to tumbler...

>> No.28917134

>>28917047
that was too vague for me, can someone explain?

>> No.28917145

>>28917087
What's that person's tumblr then?

>> No.28917154

>>28915675
Damn you, now I can't watch LOTR without popping a boner every time I see that giant floating eyeball.

>> No.28917210

>>28917004

None of what's described bars him from being beautiful or effeminate though.

>> No.28917224

>>28917145
>realwomenhavecurvescheckyourprivilege

i dont know. just reverse search the image or something

>> No.28917229

>>28917004
He couldn't lose his beauty if he never had it.

>> No.28917237

>>28917026
What are you, a faggot?

>> No.28917263

>>28917210
>None of what's described bars him from being beautiful or effeminate though.

yeah but they only thing thats saying it is your gay fantasy

tolkein never said the balrogs didnt wear slippers. therefore the balrogs wore pink fuzzy slippers

>> No.28917269

>>28917237
>that feel when all your werewolves are dead
>also your sugar daddy
I can't blame Sauron for being such a grump by the third age.

>> No.28917273

Why does Saruman tear down the forest and do nothing about how the ents he knows are in there are obviously going to murder his army when they inevitably find out?

>> No.28917315

>>28917263

Sauron has taken beautiful forms before. This isn't something new.

>> No.28917318

>>28917145
Phobs, I think.

>>28917269
We all would be.

>> No.28917326

>>28917273
>obviously

because it wasnt very obvious. it was basically a fluke that they acted to do something about it. its also why saruman stopped caring about them in the first place, he saw that they were basically useless

>> No.28917333

>>28917237
Yeah, so?

>> No.28917355

>>28917315
but how does beautiful = effeminate twink no body hair oiled up toy boy cum dumpster?

>> No.28917368

>>28916701
>Feudal Societies
>Clear cut political maps.
Borders = The main families & theirl ands plus their retainers & their lands

>> No.28917406

>>28916997
The goblin fell into his own sword then.

>> No.28917408

>>28917355

Is that what you think? Methinks you're projecting ideas onto the illustration. Remember we're dealing with beings that are practically gods. There is no male or female unless they desire to be. Androgynous is the most accurate term to describe them.

>> No.28917425

>>28917355

How doesn't it?

>> No.28917433

>>28915262
Craig Parker is an old friend of Jackson's and a stalwart of the NZ acting scene. Like a number of Kiwi soap actors he got a role in LOTR for old time's sake. And like a lot of Kiwi soap actors he was also in Xena, Hercules, Spartacus and Legend of the Seeker.

>> No.28917451

>>28917273

Because he wants to feel justified in wanting to wipe out the Ents.

>> No.28917460

>>28917408
except they take form to deal with humans and elves for a reason, they arent floating around as a giant bucket of chicken even though they could

im fine with androgynous really though. im fine with any faggot ass fan fic you want, im no stranger to the internet.

im just pointed out that thinking sauron was actually meant to be represented as a neckbeards trap fantasy is incorrect

>> No.28917479

>>28917273

>Been murdering the forest for months/years
>Ents don't get uppity until they see the destruction for themselves

If the Hobbits hadn't led them there, they would not have seen said destruction until Saruman's plans had come to fruitition.

Also, the only reason the Ents won at Isengard is because the Uruk Hai were out getting their asses handed to them at Helm's Deep.

>> No.28917484

>>28917425

To be perfectly honest, he probably decided to look like Billy Zane if he's aiming for the whole 'seduce Al-Pharazon to darkness and rebellion' shtick.

Because hell, how much more tempting do you get than that? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54LAJmIleDU

>> No.28917486

>>28917460

And I argue the form does not matter as much as you think and being a terrible evil warlord doesn't mean you can't look pretty.

>> No.28917493

>>28916644
Silvan, they're the shame of the elven kind

>> No.28917502

>>28917479
>Also, the only reason the Ents won at Isengard is because the Uruk Hai were out

yeah sure buddy. the ents would have so thoroughly destroyed the uruks their great grand kids would be born with sticks up their ass

>> No.28917516

>>28917433

Holy shit, that's fat elf? Where does time go...

>> No.28917537

>>28917493
>Silvan, they're the shame of the elven kind
lol this. they are the africans of the elvish race


>>28917486
pick related is for you

>> No.28917553

>>28917537

Oh yes. Lovely.

>> No.28917562

>>28917484
>Billy Zane

i approve this

>> No.28917640

>>28916596
She's hotter than unholy hell itself, but she's not that strong if that's anything to go off of. That's not exactly incredible amounts of weight even for a woman.

>> No.28917906

>>28915598

The Chinese invented gunpowder long before actual guns showed up.

The first gunpowder weapons were explosives.

>> No.28917955

>>28915262

I actually found him hot.

Kinda disappointed in the lack of fanart for him.

>> No.28917958

>>28916594
What, you've never heard of a namesake, Anon?

Denethor and his father Ecthelion were named after a similarly paired Elf Faather-son duo from the First Age.

Not ENTIRELY unheard for someone to not have an "original" name.

(Don't feel too bad though, since Glorfindel confused the crap out of me, too. Until I dug deeper into the lore.)

>> No.28917961

>>28916979

The fucking books you retard!

It's in the appendices of The Return of the King, clear as crystal!

>> No.28918029

>>28916972
Yes, in a sense, because they are CHOOSING to fade.

And gb2/pol/, ya mangy rehcist

>> No.28918062

>>28917958
>What, you've never heard of a namesake, Anon?

unless you have some new information then its not a namesake. tolkien never fully explain who he was and kept flip flopping. its also strange that he seems to have such power and also has blonde hair. his whole back story is murky and if you claim to be so sure of it i would like to see a source

>> No.28918935

>>28917229
>>28917263

I just want to reiterate that Sauron loved to take comely forms.

He was able to seduce Elvenkind too as his persona as "Annatar, giver of gifts". And he must have really busted his balls in the looks department if he could have fulled Galadriel and Celeborn, both the wisest people in middle-earth.

It was only when his body was 100% utterly anhilated during the downfall of Numenor, he was obligated to always take an ugly form.

>> No.28919021

>>28916545
He excplicitly stated that.

>> No.28919031

>>28916640
Tuor didn't have a daughter. You're thinking of Tuor, dude.

>> No.28919084

>>28915598
The Eagles never do shit, son. Yes, if they really wanted to, they could have just kicked Sauron's ass every single time he left his house ever.

They didn't; the Valar don't like people that much anymore. They're sick of all the stupid shit the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth get themselves into.


And remember kids, Thorondor (the Greatest Eagle ever to live) had a wingspan of 30 fathoms. That's roughly 54.86 meters! Amazing!

>> No.28919096 [SPOILER] 

>>28917026

>> No.28919111

>>28919096

If you look closely, the pupil is actually an outline of Sauron.

>> No.28919146

>>28919031
Ah, crap.
>*Turin didn't have a daughter. You're thinking of Tuor, dude.

>> No.28919148

>>28916927
But even the strongest dragons can't destroy a Maiar's soul.

>> No.28919166

>>28916023
>>28916077
>implying Varda isn't Best Girl

>> No.28919167

How powerful exactly, are names in middle-earth?

What would happen to the average man if he went around shouting out "Morgoth" or "Sauron?"

>> No.28919176

>>28916184
They're across the big ass river, son. Orcs hadn't made it over to the West Bank yet.

>> No.28919183

>>28917958
Elves didn't reuse names, only elfaboo men did, that was the same Glorfindel

>> No.28919188

>>28916292
>He is cunning and evil, not weak and effeminate.

>weak people can't be cunning or evil
>effeminate people can't be cunning or evil

Outrageous

>> No.28919199

>>28916567
Depends on the Maiar. Some of them are pretty fucking badass. Melian, Arien (the motherfucking Sun), and some others would wreck most dragon faggots.

>> No.28919202

>>28919166

Her hair texture is weird.

>> No.28919206

>>28916644
>he doesn't remember how often Gandalf smoked and generally dicked around chatting and shit

Even the wisest need small comforts every now and then, Anon.

>> No.28919229

>>28917355
>Anon just answered his own question

>> No.28919241

>>28919111
If you look closely, you can actually see Peter Jackson laughing his way to the bank to count his dwarf-gold

>> No.28919248

>>28919202
Plus she can hear you masturbate. That's just weird, yo.

>> No.28919250

>>28919241

But that's not true. The studio had no money to give to Tolkien's estate. The movies lost money.

>> No.28919266

>>28916644
>>28919206
Yeah, not only did Gandalf often get drunk and high, but Saruman also had huge stashes of pipeweed and wine in Isengard despite his public distaste and ridicule of such earthly things. He was basically the Rob Ford of Middle-Earth. I wouldn't be surprised if he regularly crashed his horse while riding wasted and peed into bushes near playgrounds full of Orc children.

>> No.28919282

>>28919166

>> No.28919293

>>28919282

>> No.28919294

>>28919282

Morgoth is a bully that steps on others(literally, for Fingolfin).

>> No.28919298

But he is beautiful :)

>> No.28919301

>>28919167
Galadriel or some such would slap yer gob for talking shit, most likely.

>> No.28919308

>>28919199
>Arien
>tfw no qt3.14 Maia Sun-carrying waifu

>> No.28919314

>>28916954
>lost his own argument so hard

>> No.28919316

>>28919301

A few words of Dark Speech palpably made Elrond look upset(in the movies, at least).

But I had always thought words were magical in middle-earth, like the singing of creation. And how the mouth of Sauron had an awful and cracked mouth from using magical words of power.

>> No.28919319

>>28919266
New Headcanon Accepted

>> No.28919321

>>28919294
Talk shit, get hit, Eldar.

>> No.28919328

>>28919321

Tell that to your incurable sword, eagle and Silmaril injuries.

>> No.28919362

>>28916927
>>28916979
Goblin is just an uncivilised "tribal" orc;
Orc is orc, that is to say a slightly more civilised and martial goblin;
Uruk Hai is highly civilised martial orc.

I like how ugly the orcs looked in the film, like their flesh was nearly all misshapen scar tissue.

>> No.28919370

>>28919362

For which one? Lord of the Rings? Peter Jackson said for the Isengard Uruks, they started looking uglier since their creation process was being rushed.

>> No.28919375

>>28919362
>implying orc isn't just a term derived from Sindarin elvish, while goblin is derived from the Common Speech

Get Good

>> No.28919402

>>28919362
Orc race was divided into many different subtypes as millenia passed. An orc from Moria is as different compared to an orc from Mordor as an african negro to a chinese guy.

>> No.28919408

>>28915262
>If elves are all beautiful and young forever, why is this guy fat?
>Implying you cant be young and fat

>> No.28919484

>>28919408
>implying you can't be fat and beautiful

>> No.28919486

>>28917368
man, this is exactly like the old illustrated arthurian and Greek Mythology books I read as a boy.

>> No.28919532

The three tribes of Orcs mentioned in TTT chapter 3 were all called "Orcs". The group that had captured Merry and Pippin had 80 Uruk-Hai led by Uglúk, and 40 Orcs from Mordor led by Grishnákh. Over a hundred smaller and weaker Moria Orcs without a leader had joined the group, but most of those guys fled when they heard the Rohirrim were coming. Or tried to, since they got easily tired in sunlight.

Tolkien used "Goblin" in the Hobbit since it was a simple fairytale for his children and Orc is a word he made up. Probably didn't want to confuse his kids with Elvish linguistics.

>> No.28919539

>>28919362
Goblin and Orc mean the same thing, Orc is just the human derivative of the Elvish "Uruk" while Goblin is the speech of Men.

Uruk hai aren't a race, it is a freak of orcdom that produces the strongest, largest, and most fearless of orcs.

Saruman bought his way into Sauron's good graces by managing to produce a breed that doesnt weaken at the sun. "Naturally" occurring Uruk hai tend to become leaders of bands of orcs. Azog is one particular Uruk, who was chief of the Moria orcs until he was slain by Dain.

>> No.28919547

>>28917479
The huorns raped the shit out of the Uruks at Helm's Deep, too.

>> No.28919574

>>28915598
>Ork gunpowder but no guns

learn2history you filthy peasant.

>> No.28919593

>>28915598
>Ork gunpowder but no guns
Yes? This makes sense historically.

Gunpowder is often discovered or introduced long before gunpowder weapons are.

>> No.28919610

>>28917516
>Holy shit, that's fat elf? Where does time go...
Into the buffet table, apparently.

>> No.28919721

>>28917318
Inferior Sauron detected

>> No.28919809

From the language used in the Lord of the Rings, it's stated lesser rings were used.

>“In Eregion long ago many Elven-rings were made, magic rings as you call them, and they were, course, of various kinds: some more potent and some less. The lesser rings were only essays in the craft before it was full-grown, and to the Elven-smiths they were but trifles—yet still to my mind dangerous for mortals. But the Great Rings, the Rings of Power, they were perilous.”

What sort of powers could these be, and why does no one make note of them?

>> No.28919811

I wonder what kind of lands are Harad and Rhun.

>> No.28919817

>>28919809
Ever wonder where all the rings of +1 AC come from? Planar export business...

>> No.28919818

>>28919811

Shitholes. Which is why they're always fighting Gondor for better land.

>> No.28919828

>>28919817

Maybe that's why Gothmog doesn't wear a helmet.

>> No.28919832

>>28919811
Imagine either North-Africa-meets-Southwest-Asia or Eastern-Europe-meets-Central-Asia.

That's the impression I get from the text, anyway.

>> No.28919845

>>28919832

Hey now, I live in Eastern Europe. I feel like I should be insulted by that.

>> No.28919855

>>28919845
Eh? I never said they were bad places. They're just different from the Rhovanion and the area around Gondor, is all. I'm a firm believer in the liberation of the Eastern peoples; they lived under the yoke of Sauron and Morgoth for far too long.

>> No.28919877

>>28919811
Near Harad or Far Harad? Northern Africa and Sub-Saharan Africa, respectively. The various peoples of Rhûn and Khand seemed like Central and South Asians. The chariot was invented in Central Asia, so that would fit the timeline of the mythos nicely.

>> No.28919892

>>28919845
>>28919855
In fact, the whole tidbit about Bór and his sons and their people sticking it out and helping the Noldor even after Ulfang's betrayal was pretty rough, dude. It's a shame none of Bór's folk survived that battle; it would be nice to think they could be rewarded for their good faith.

But alas, there are only dead heroes amongst Easterlings.

>> No.28919906

>>28919877
Rhûn's like that big swath of land between the Black Sea, Tibet, and the Arctic.

>> No.28919917

>>28919845
are you fucking kidding me? the men of the east are the most badass people in middle earth.
remember pelenor fields when the evil army got routed? wanna know who the fuck stayed and fought to the last man? who never surrended? THATS FUCKING RIGHT ANON THE EASTERLINGS

>> No.28919922

Hey, I just remembered there's this novel written by some Slav, about the perspective on the war from the opposing side. Last Ringbearer or something.

That any good?

>> No.28919936

>>28919922
its kinda wacky but an allright read

>> No.28919947

>>28919922
A good Edain like yourself should only read official Elf-approved stories from the Red Book of Shire, anything else is imperialist Morgothian propaganda

>> No.28919957

>>28919917
The men of the east arent even from Middle-Earth, they're from Harad and Rhün. Goddamn it.

>> No.28919961

can anyone please continue to dump LOTR pics

>> No.28919972

>>28919957
oh shit, my mistake anon. sorry

>> No.28919993

>>28919917

I just like that armor a lot.

>> No.28920017

>>28919084
>he thinks that's big

i'll show you big, feather bitch.

>> No.28920018

>>28919957
>>28919972
Isn't Middle-Earth, ya know, the full world of the Free Peoples? Basically everything but the Undying Lands?

>> No.28920035

>>28920017
What's that, Ancalagon? I can't hear you from all the way up here in the land of the living.

>> No.28920056

>>28920035
ah, zip it. it took a bunch of valar an entire day to kill me. you even failed to knock out some nazghuls.

>> No.28920069

>>28920018
Yeah, Aman in the west, then Middle-Earth in the center, and Númenórean sailors found an uninhabited eastern continent near the Walls of the Sun that would no doubt become the Americas

Dark Lands / Southland in this pic, drawn by JRRT, separated from the rest of Middle-Earth during the downfall of Númenor.

>> No.28920070

>>28919917
>>28919957
Weren't the Harad all mercs bought with coin? Couldn't the Dwarves part with their jewgolds for one single second in order to win the war?

>> No.28920093

>>28920070
nah I dont think they were merc, they were pretty sworn to Sauron, remember that Khamul was one of their ancient kings

>> No.28920097

>>28920070
As soon as that faggot freeloading tree hugger in Mirkwood who steals the Dwarves' hard earned gold stops shagging deer and hires some mercs, then sure.

>> No.28920105

>>28920070
Wait, never mind. They both hated the hell out of Gondor.

>> No.28920139

>>28920105
haradrim here: gondor sucks elven ass.

a hue hue huehue

>> No.28920141

when someone from a supposedly beautiful race is fat or ugly it's a very defining trait , usually associated with debauchery and straying from their lifestyle norms

>> No.28920159

>>28920139

Hey look, Xerxes came on over from 300.

>> No.28920164

>>28920018
Middle-Earth is a continent. The planet's name is Arda. There are other continents.

>>28920070
They were but they hate the fuck out of Gondor anyway so yeah. Plus Mordor was dominant at the time, the kingdoms east of it were conquered, the west was in jeopardy even without taking Mordor into consideration, opposing Sauron would have been suicidal and foolish.

>> No.28920176

>>28920159
gib ithilien plox i report u

the br of middle-earth

>> No.28920194

>>28920176

Not even Harad wants Ithilien. Its worthless land. They want that delicious South Gondor.

>> No.28920204

>>28920017
Get fucked

>> No.28920207

>>28920141
Lived like a bitch, died like a bitch.

Makes sense.

>> No.28920216

>>28920204

SEE THAT DRAGON HAS 4 LEGS

>> No.28920229

>>28920070
>>28920093
Ye olde Sauron and the Black Numenoreans have had Harad on lock for centuries.

Niggas grow up and no doubt immediately get indoctrinated into a literal Religion of Evil, where Morgoth is the Lord of All Things, and Sauron is his Prophet, his Disciple, and the Instrument of his Wrath upon this world.

Fun stuff.

>> No.28920230

>>28920204
Ancalagon the Black was a tiny bit bigger then that.

His crash into the ground did rewrite the geography of the WHOLE FUCKING PLANET

>> No.28920232

>>28920207

Haldir didn't even die in the books. There were no elves in Helms deep. It's a fabrication.

>> No.28920238

>>28920232
He probably wasn't a bitch in the book, either, so he didn't need to die like a bitch. It's simple math, son.

>> No.28920240

>>28920216

oh my god would you whining faggots shut the fuck up

>> No.28920242

>>28920204
>Earendil
Inferior airship-planet detected

>> No.28920262

>>28919539

>> No.28920270

>>28920240

I'm still bummed out over Smaug. He's a sad little wyvern.

>> No.28920284

>>28920270
Its an adaptation. Its shit. Almost all adaptations are shit. What were you expecting.

>> No.28920291

>>28920284

Something more faithful to the books.

>> No.28920310

>>28920291
Well then TOUGH LUCK. Adaptations a shit.

>> No.28920312

>>28919917
The Easterlings also were responsible for putting the Men of Rohan where they are now.

They once lived in the Rovanion as Blondie Horseniggers until the Easterlings with their far more superior horseniggery drove them westward.

>> No.28920313

>>28920262

>> No.28920317

>>28915598

>Implying Tom Bombadil didnt use the one ring as a dick piercing when Frodo was staying with him

>> No.28920323

>>28920312
It's true; sort of like how the Dunlendings got the short end of the stick when it came to Rohan, Rohirrim, and horsie people.

>> No.28920335

>>28920317
Cockring. It changes shape to fit the wearer afterall.

Man his elven princess waifu must have been all over that.

>> No.28920343

>>28920313
Manwe confirmed for racist.
Morgoth is our superior lord.

>> No.28920344

>>28920323

That's because Helm is an asshole.

>> No.28920347

>>28919484

>implying you don't need to visit /fit/

>> No.28920350

Why Elfhelm didn't have an elven helm?

>> No.28920367

>>28920347
Don't they do homo stuff there?

Related question: Does teeg think Aragorn legalized gay marriage during his glorious reign?

>> No.28920368

>>28920323
Yeah and Ghan-buri-Ghan's people hid in a forest when the Dunlendings came.

Shit, I never realized how similar this was to the Migration Period, with barbarians entering totally-not-Rome's territory.

>> No.28920374

>>28919362
What the fuck have I just read? Slightly more civilised, "tribal"... What the fuck?

THIS
>>28919539
Please read it. AND FUCKING THINK BEFORE YOU POST SOME BULLSHIT

>> No.28920377

>>28920344
Hey, at least he had a fort. Not everybody can say the same.

Also, Finrod Felagund is best Elf King husbando. Prove me wrong, niggas.

>> No.28920381

>>28920350
Because Peter Jackson is a moron who doesn't know how to read even if it was fucking spelled for him.

>> No.28920391

>>28920368
Gondor would be the Rome there, right? Giving the Rohirrim this totally-Gondorian frontier province that they couldn't manage anymore, right?

>> No.28920396

>>28919547

After having already been considerably battered, culled, driven apart, demoralized and were flat out fleeing.

Not mounting a proper, effective defense on a wall as strong as Helm's Deep itself.

>> No.28920398

>>28920377
Odd way to spell Thingol.

>> No.28920407

>>28919811

GW released a fucking great Harad sourcebook for their sbg ages ago, still got it actually.

The place is a desert with far harad being plains where the Mumakil and the Muhad come from (the Muhad were given the lands as payment)

Meanwhile Umbar is pretty much carthage

>> No.28920434

>>28920398
>an asshole for no reason
>being a dick to Beren
>only ceases to be a dick because Beren got his shit mutiliated as fuck
>getting involved in horrible Silmaril oath wars

Thingol had potential, but he's a fuck-up, son. He had a sweet gig going, but he went and ruined it by getting involved in the Doom of Mandos. Conversely, Finrod was chaste, pure, and loyal, plus he built Nargothrond, the second or third most bitching place in all the realm. He was all tolerant and accepting of the Edain, too. Totally based.

Fuck, Finrod wrestled the damn wolf-demon-werewolf beast and died, nigga. Thingol wouldn't do shit for nobody, the uppity bastard.

Finrod Felagund is the more ideal husbando.

>> No.28920439

>Goblin and Orc mean the same thing, Orc is just the human derivative of the Elvish "Uruk" while Goblin is the speech of Men.
Damn, reading that makes me hard
Like reading a history book, but for a fantasy universe, I love how detailed the languages in LotR are

>> No.28920441

>>28920391
And by the end of the Third Age, the kingdom was vastly reduced in size, especially after Western Rom- uh, Arnor had been ruined by wars and disarray centuries ago.

>> No.28920448

>>28920407

And Rhun?

>> No.28920449

>>28920407

Alright I got my sourcebook

Looking at the map, Near Harad, Harondor and Harad are all deserts dotted with various cities (Abrakhan, Hidar etc). Then you have the ruins of Karna in the centre of a forest as well.

Along the coast south of the Umbar cove is forest/jungle as well until you hit the grasslands of Far Harad, the land of the Mahud.

There are also mountain ranges and the islands of Tolfalas are in this map as well.

Oh and south of Abrakhan towards Hidar is Nafarat, the great desert. Presumably a super special desert.

So yeah..thats Harad

>> No.28920457

>>28920448
Russialand and the rest of Central Asia, I'd wager. Everything from scruffly beard dudes all the way down to horsie-folks and shit.

>> No.28920460

>>28920449
That's mostly fanfiction. But Umbar was indeed pretty much like Carthage.

>> No.28920462

>>28920448

Ah I dont have that sourcebook sadly so I cant help you with Rhun

Its called the Eastlands so..I guess its a very eastern inspired are?

>> No.28920470

>>28920377
All elves on Middle-Earth are filthy kinslaying renegade scum. Except like... Glorfindel. And the irrelevant ones who never left Middle-Earth for Aman in the first place.

>> No.28920473

>>28920460

Well since we have pretty much jack shit on Harad I'm willing to give the GW sourcebook the benefit of the doubt, at least until Tolkien springs back to life to write about Harad

>> No.28920506

>>28920470

What? Gil-Galad is no kin-slayer. And neither was Elrond, Celeborn, Cirdan or Galadriel.

All the kinslayers wound up dead.

>> No.28920508

>>28920449
>My North African Analogue Can't Be This Arid

>> No.28920514

>>28920439
Meant for >>28919539
obviously

>> No.28920515

One of my friends told me that it's impossible to rape an elf. The Uruk-Hai would happily stuff human women, but elven women die of shame or something as soon as you get your meaty hands on their squashy bodies. Why? How? Is it true? Sheeeeeeeit.

>> No.28920519

>>28920473
Well, even MERP sourcebooks have better ideas in my opinion. I recall a pretty awesome campaign for a plague-ridden Pelargir set a thousand years before the events of LotR.

>> No.28920525

>>28920470
>this nigga legitimately thinks Finrod was a kinslaying renegade scum

For shame, Blackheart. Though now I suppose I see the merit of your name. Do not mistake Best King Finrod for that disgusting scoundrel Fëanor or his whelps.

>> No.28920533

>>28920515
Didn't Galadriel (or was it someone else) enjoy captivity in some orc pit and was subjected to atrocities? I always took that as she got the D. Which would fit her interracial fetish (dwarves, orcs...)

>> No.28920534

>>28920515
>Orcs
>raping people

Doubtful.

>> No.28920537

>>28920230

Haldir of Lorien so fat, he could undo Ancalagon the Black's work by sitting down, nomsayin'?

>> No.28920542

>>28920508

Well to be fair its only far harad that isnt a desert

The strips of forest are pretty meh, focused all along the Calengfalas coast which is a tiny ass beach really.

>>28920519

Never read them but I like the GW sourcebook a lot, I always wanted to make a warband of Mahud but no one would play lotr with me

>> No.28920547

>>28915262
're you talking shit about Haldir? I can't believe my eyes!

>> No.28920555

>>28920533

I think that was Elrond's wife. He healed her, but she left for Aman a year later anyway.

>> No.28920556

>>28920525
>>28920506
IF YOU AINT KINSLAYER OR FOREST PEASANT, YOU DONT BELONG IN MIDDLE-EARTH. Remove renegade knife-ear.

Seriously though fuck the whole continent, Middle-Earth literally had nothing but being the birthplace/fortress of all the goddamn evils of the setting.

>> No.28920560

>>28920533
No, you're thinking of her daughter, Elrond's wife, and Arwen's mother, Celebrían.

She was tortured for awhile, and though Elrond healed her physical wounds, she eventually left for the Undying Lands on account of being unable to cope with the psychological and emotional distress.

Once again, pretty sure the orcs canonically only mutilate, murder, torture, and eat people.

Then again, nobody ever has sex in Tolkien. They just sing songs and murder each other.

>> No.28920562

>>28920533
Galadriel's daughter, Celebrían, who was also Elrond's waifu. She could not live with her shame and went to Valinor.

>> No.28920567

>>28920555
Uh dunno. I cant remember EVERYTHING. My favourite parts are all First Age.

>> No.28920576

>>28920537
You know what sunk Númenor? Haldir went there to grab a quick bite!

>> No.28920577

>>28916615
Where do you get this information from?

>> No.28920582

>>28920560

>Implying singing songs isnt a metaphor for hot dicking

>> No.28920583

>>28920560
>>28920562
Is went to Valinor or Undying Lands an euphemism for commit sudoku?

>> No.28920593

>>28920560
I dunno, I think Tolkien mentioned in the appendices Aragorn and Arwen holding hands before their son was born...

>> No.28920595

shit, now I just wanna play a game where I can build cities and shit in a fantasy setting

>> No.28920597

>>28920583
No, it's a euphemism for getting on a boat and sailing to the Undying Lands, bro. It's a literal journey for any living elves that wish to go there.

If they die, they go and chill with Mandos, and that's not a literal boat-ride, but all the living elves who go across the Sea actually go across the Sea, albeit via some weird magical, straight road that allows them to ignore the globe's curvature.

>> No.28920608

>>28920582
Then poor Finrod couldn't handle Sauron's girth. Which is ironic considering his own name.

He chanted a song of wizardry,
Of piercing, opening, of treachery,
Revealing, uncovering, betraying.
Then sudden Felagund there swaying
sang in answer a song of staying,
Resisting, battling against power,
Of secrets kept, strength like a tower,
And trust unbroken, freedom, escape;
Of changing and of shifting shape,
Of snares eluded, broken traps,
The prison opening, the chain that snaps,
Backwards and forwards swayed their song.
Reeling and foundering, as ever more strong
The chanting swelled, Felagund fought,
And all the magic and might he brought,
Of Elvenesse into his words.
Softly in the gloom they heard the birds
Singing afar in Nargothrond,
The sighing of the sea beyond,
Beyond the western world, on sand,
On sand of pearls in Elvenland.
Then the gloom gathered; darkness growing
In Valinor, the red blood flowing
Beside the sea, where the Noldor slew
The Foamriders, and stealing drew
Their white ships with their white sails
From lamplit havens. The wind wails,
The wolf howls. The ravens flee.
The ice mutters in the mouths of the sea.
The captives sad in Angband mourn,
Thunder rumbles, the fires burn-
And Finrod fell before the throne.

>> No.28920624

>>28920582
>Elrond and pals singing to Bilbo and friends in the Hobbit
>The Goblin Song

Oh god...

>> No.28920628

>>28920583
Nope. Also elves cant die except for a few who went humanboo. Elves hang out with Mandos, the vala of death after they get murdered and await the Dagor Dagorath, the final battle where all evil returns and the forces of good rally for for one more fight. Afterwards the elves and vala inherit Arda to rule it for all eternity while Erú and humanity leave to create the Second Song.

>> No.28920631

>>28920583
>Dad, where's mom?
>S-she...she went to the Undiying Lands...sniff
>Ok, one day we must go visit her
>Yes...oh poor child

>> No.28920633

>>28920608
>I can't forge to this...

>> No.28920647

>>28920470
>>28920506
It's unclear whether Galadriel took part in the battle at Alqualonde or just crossed the ocean later with the second group of Noldor who went through the ice cap, but at the end of the Third Age she's the only one alive who knows what happened.

>> No.28920670

>>28920647
I though Finarfin and friends weren't there for the shenanigans yet. Wasn't it just Fëanor and Fingolfin's crew?

>> No.28920674

>>28920608
Heh, just reread this part earlier this morning. Huan and Luthien taking Sauron to school was pretty based.

>Poor Little Maia Boy

>> No.28920685

I can't believe Ar-Pharazôn let Sauron keep his ring.

>> No.28920693

>>28920624

He'll tra-la-la-lally down in your valley...

>> No.28920700

>>28920685
...human Sauron is kinda moe

>> No.28920704

>>28920685
Isn't he still alive?

>> No.28920711

>>28920704

Technically he was buried alive. And he'll fight at the last battle of middle-earth.

>> No.28920719

>>28920628

Ah, so -that- is why Men must die. They achieve godhood, while Elves remain mortal.
Now I understand why it is a blessing.

>> No.28920722

>>28920670
Feanor's vanguard started slaying the Teleri since he wanted their ships and they began fighting back, but a second host of Finarfin's people led by Fingon joined the fight since he thought the Valar had ordered the Teleri to kill Feanor. The combined force crushed the forces guarding the harbor.

>> No.28920723

>>28920685
Was the One Ring actually forged by then?

>>28920700
Mairon~
Annathar~

Alas he lost his ability to appear pleasing to the eye after he turned Númenor into a satanist hellhole which caused Erú to kill everyone. He jelly.

>>28920693
Pain.

>> No.28920732

>>28920704
>>28920711
Him and Turin Turambar get the dubious honor of being specially mentioned as getting to fight, right?
Do we get to see Beren again? I can't remember

>> No.28920733

>>28920719
...No? Elves live forever and ultimately rule the world.

Humans get out of reality to make a new one.

>> No.28920745

>>28920722
I thought it was Fingolfin that reinforced the Kinslayers on accident

>> No.28920754

>>28920723

Yes. However, even with it enhancing his powers, his minions fled at the sight of the Numenorean host. So he had no choice but to play along and surrender.

>> No.28920765

>>28920693
>>28920624
Oh god, I have a disturbing image in my head.

Remember the almost senile Bilbo chatting with Frodo in Rivendell? He talked about nights fille with Elven songs and poems that lasted until the morning...

>> No.28920771

>>28920754
Then we can chalk it up to Ar-Pharazôn wanting to tap dat maiar and live forever that bad that he ignored the One Ring.

>> No.28920772

>>28920732

It's vague, but Tolkien wanted him to have a unique destiny outside of mankind, so he's probably with the Vala

>> No.28920778

>>28920765
Wait a minute...Finrod and Sauron had a singing battle...>>28920608

Was it some sort of lewd struggle?

>> No.28920781

>>28920771

Too bad that involved cutting down the sacred white tree and live human sacrifice of the faithful in depraved death worship.

>> No.28920787

>>28920765
Hehe. Well do what I do. Imagine elven traps and ladies entertaining a fuzzy footed shota.

Eonwé a shit.

>> No.28920793

>>28920771
>wanting to tap dat maiar

>> No.28920798

>>28920781
Pff, see? Erú cant take a joke and hates people having fun.

>> No.28920804

Where is the fugly art of Sauron as a vampire, werewolf or as Gorthaur the cruel?

>> No.28920805

>>28920787
>Eonwé a shit.

Nice try, Morgoth. We should've known it was you. Blackheart? You're not fooling anyone.

>> No.28920811

>>28920798

And Sauron can't swim.

>> No.28920813

>>28920804
I'd like to see the vampire stuff. That sounded pretty spooky and cool, with all the blood-dripping and Moon-blotting out

>> No.28920815

>>28920805
Took you long enough, birdbrain.

>> No.28920822

>>28920805
looks like that bitch from claymore.

>> No.28920824

>>28920811
Biiitch.

>>28920813
Vampires were shape shifting giant blood drinking bats that sometimes pretended to be young women.

Werewolves are just double wargs.

>> No.28920826

>>28920745
Nope, Fingon was definitely there. After they had won, Feanor stole the ships and left his nephew standing on the shore. Fingon was best bros with Maedhros, his cousin and Feanor's son.

>> No.28920830

>>28920813

Vampires are even more overlooked than Werewolves in Middle-Earth. There is practically nothing on them.

>> No.28920843

>>28920824
>double wargs.

You...you double Valar!

>> No.28920855

>>28920824
Muh Finrod...

>> No.28920867

And then there is Ungoliath

>> No.28920877

>>28920867
Ungoliant is old hat. Gets beat up, lives in some mountains, never seen again.
Good riddance, I say. More room for wolves.

>> No.28920878

>>28920867
*Ungoliant

>>28920855
Where he belongs.

>> No.28920889

>>28920877

Didn't stop Morgoth from getting the shit beat out of him by her.

>> No.28920890

>>28920867
>feeds an ever-hungry spider power until she is stronger than himself
>decides to just ditch her and not give her the spoils she deserves
>morgoth logic

>> No.28920896

>>28920877
Hey, she was pretty badass. Ran around with Melkor, ruined the trees, grew into a gigantic world eating horror, made even Melkor shit his pants hard enough that all his peon balrogs swarmed in from half the planet away in less then a second, underground, to save him.

>> No.28920904

>>28920896
you forgot she got so hungry she ate herself. fucking hardcore, but hey, a spider's gotta eat.

>> No.28920910

>>28920896
Yeah, but then she promptly stopped being more than a proxy danger to travelers in one region. I'm not saying she wasn't a Spook Lady of epic proportions, but she just kinda vanishes from the tales after that.

>> No.28920917

I can't understand why Tolkien hates redemption so much.

None for Morgoth
None for Sauron
None for Saruman
None for Wormtongue

Even none for Gollum.

>> No.28920923

>>28919539
Sauron already had uruk-hai. He had sun-resistant trolls, too. Saruman created neither.

>> No.28920928

>>28920878
>Where he belongs.

Got any more pics of Sauron abusing Finrod?

For research reasons, of course.

>> No.28920944

>>28920928
Sorry no, last porn I saw of LotR was Aragon having sex with shota Frodo years ago. I havent looked for more porn since.

>> No.28920947

>>28920917
>morgoth got enough redemption he blew into the wind that at the end nobody would grant him anymore
>same goes for sauron
>gandalf offered saruman redemption but he spit into his face
>same goes for wormtongue
>who cares about gollum?

>> No.28920967

>>28920917
Melkor had his chance. He used it to steal Silmarils and destroy the Trees.

>> No.28920968

>>28920947
Sauron almost got redeemed while pretending to be good, likewise Gollum.

Saruman and Wormtongues are a shit though, good riddance.

>> No.28920973

>>28920947

But Tolkien is writing these characters. As a Christian, he could have at least once emphasized God's infinite capacity for forgiveness, instead of just killing or imprisoning the troublemakers.

>> No.28921022

anyone know where I can find pdfs and such of the rule books for the gw game?

>> No.28921037

>>28921022

Check /rs/ and rapidshare.

>> No.28921100

this design is so retarded, couldn't you just walk around and climb up the backside?

>> No.28921132

>>28921100
Probably. Have fun leading an army up on a giant goddamn mountain. Right under the gaze of the Eye. In a blasted hellhole full of poisoned water and ash.

>> No.28921145

>>28921100

Probably a cliff or something.

>> No.28921157

>>28921132
sounds like elf talk to me boy.

>> No.28921193

>>28921100
It's super porous to infiltrators, but like hell you're getting an army up there.

Though really, you've infiltrated Barad-dur with a dozen men. What the hell's your plan?

>> No.28921203

>>28921100
why would you do that?

>> No.28921217

>>28921157
They actually did that unlike humans. Step it up second children.

>> No.28921251

>>28921203
>>28921193

dunno, poke sauron in the eye or something.

>> No.28921253

>>28921100
One does not simply climb atop Barad-dûr

>> No.28921262

Remember, it's not gay if it's a divine being.

>> No.28921304

>>28921262
It's not gay if it could conceivably take the form of a lady. But doesn't. And you take it up the ass.

>> No.28921317

>>28917210
Sauron is specifically described as fair until the doom of Numenor, which saw his shit get wrecked so hard that he could never take a fair form again.

>> No.28921353

>>28917355
How DOESN'T it?

>> No.28921377

thread's deader than elendil after getting pounded by sauron.

>> No.28921390

>>28921377
to be fair, it's 10AM, and everybody who's awake is either australian or working.

>> No.28921400

Question:

I know elves are weaker because those who are left are mostly filthy silvan who never saw the light of the Valar, but, what about humans? why are they weaker than ancient humans? what's the reason?

Also, who created the Hobbits?

>> No.28921416

>>28921400
>Filthy silvan who never saw the light of the Valar
Y-you take that b-back

>> No.28921420

>>28921400
I think you have to separate the numenor with just regular humans.
the numenor became weaker because they bred with regular humans

>> No.28921431

>>28921400
Hobbits are descended from Humans

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insular_dwarfism

>> No.28921437

>>28921420
But the second born were all humans, why ones were stronger than others?

>> No.28921447

>>28921416
Oh, don't worry, you're weak and filthy, but I love filthy sluts.

>> No.28921465

>>28921416
Why is Tauriel such a slut?

>> No.28921503

>>28921132
>Dat Sauron
10/10, would venerate

>> No.28921520

>>28921377
>elendil after getting pounded by sauron
>Elendil getting pounded by Sauron

>> No.28921561

>>28921400
>what about humans? why are they weaker than ancient humans? what's the reason?

Most humans in the Lord of the Rings are various types of Middle Men and lesser Men.

With Men, you've got some tiers that Tolkien kinda sorta lays out for us

>MAX POWER: Pre-Numenorean Edain like Beren, Turin, Hurin, etc.; Numenoreans proper

>MEDIUM POWER: Rohirrim, and some other Northmen. Presumably some of those folk that blended with Numenoreans in Gondor and Arnor (see Dol Amroth.)

>LOW POWER: Easterlings, Haradrim, Dunlendings, and other peoples. Merely human

So for instance, Aragorn, in his capacity as a semi-divine descendant of Numenoreans and shit, approaches MAX POWER tier on a good day, whereas your Eomers and Boromirs are largely limited to MIDDLE tier (though Boromir is high-end MIDDLE tier) on account of being part of that intermediate category of Men.

>> No.28921566

>>28919922
It's a very lazy allegory for the Warsaw Pact. It has virtually nothing to do with LotR. The author was just using name recognition to deliver a political screed to a wider audience. Sorta like the Starship Troopers movie.

>> No.28921667

>>28921566

Starship Troopers was a political screed before the movie. The movie made is a parody of propaganda.

>> No.28921679

>>28921561
>Sauron siding with the weakest
Srly, why is he the bad guy again?

>> No.28921697

>>28921679
They were the only ones he could bully into helping him. He isn't helping them, he's forcing them to do his bidding.

>> No.28921731

>>28921679
>this is what orcs actually believe

>> No.28921745

>>28921679
They're only the weakest because of their wickedness. Acting in a virtuous manner and living a moral life totally elevates Men from Bottom tier to Rohirrim tier, no joke. Functionally there isn't much difference between them besides ethical differences.

>> No.28922117

>>28921679
Because he believes in industrialization
that's really the cause of his entire career on the dark side

>> No.28922185

>>28922117
>there is literally a Valar of making things
>making stuff is totally evil, bro
I'm skeptical, Anon. Pretty sure it has to do with the part where he was evil, not the part where he made stuff.

>> No.28922239

>>28922185
there is a valar of artisinal handicraft and the forge, but not one for mass produced shit

>> No.28922294

>>28922239
Yeah, but the problem was trampling on the natural world and the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth, not the mere act of producing a bunch of things. In short, the problem was reckless destruction, not the act of creating many objects. Were Sauron to operate exclusively sustainable industries with substantial regulation to prevent environmental degradation, folks would've been less angry about all of it.

Green Industrial Tycoon Sauron when?
>forcing orcs to bathe regularly
>carefully disposing of industrial waste, recycling and reusing it where possible
>judicious use of volcanic ash and proper care and irrigation to revitalize the soil around the plain of Gorgoroth and other desolate places in Mordor.

>> No.28922928

>>28922294
> yfw Sauron is a great power bottom but won't stop nagging you about sorting the trash. Plus he really wants to put a ring on your finger

>> No.28922980

>>28922928
>implying any of those things are problems

qt3.14 Maia husbando when, Anon?

>> No.28923272

What happens to Saruman when a wind disperses his form in the book? Is that going to Hell?

>> No.28923441

>>28923272
Hell isnt a thing. He just loses his physical body. Saruman is a maiar like Gandalf, or Sauron, so manifesting a physical body is not required to exist (it actually limits their power somewhat). Considering the wind blew him to the West, I figure he is going back to Aman for punishment.

>> No.28923608

>>28923441
that wind was literally Manwe taking him home to kick his ass

>> No.28923654

>>28923441
Oh, I thought he was taken to the east.

>> No.28923781

>>28923441
No, the cloud tried to move west but a wind dispersed it towards the east

>> No.28924165

>>28919250
Yeah, after paying PJ's wages.

>>
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