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[ERROR] No.28886009 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

ITT: The most vile, evil things DMs can do

>> No.28886023

Roll for anal circumference

>> No.28886033

I had a DM that made us pay taxes on all loot obtained. Some countries had low taxes (20-30%) but one had a 70% tax. We eventually got hunted down, imprisoned and nearly executed for tax evasion.

>> No.28886108

>We eventually got hunted down, imprisoned and nearly executed for tax evasion.
>nearly executed for tax evasion
>tax evasion

I had a DM like that before. He would print out lists of bylaws for every city we were in and god forbid we accidentally swear in this city or not speak respectfully to an elf in this one.

>> No.28886124

>one had a 70% tax
Oh shit nigger what are you doing, even if you're State Capitalist you don't go higher than you need to stay in the green.

>> No.28886135

Get tired and leave a campaign partially finished.

>> No.28886137

>my gf/bf will be joining us

>> No.28886152

France says hi

>> No.28886155

It was a socialist as fuck country. Taxed the ever loving hell out of the rich (and think about how much even 100gp is to your average citizen, it's a small fortune) to provide social services for the war torn country's poor.

>> No.28886203

Hey, they're lucky they didn't end up in a socialist country. This actually sounds like a fantastic hook for a revolutionary war campaign.

Also, taxes on loot are completely separate from taxes in general. Spain, for instance, successfully sued an undersea exploration company for dredging a bunch of gold out of a shipwreck.

>> No.28886247

> Taxed the ever loving hell out of the rich
Oh, well that's fine then.

But you don't want to tax the middle class much, if at all, because they're the ones who drive your economy by generating demand. The poor just don't have as much money to spend and the rich have too much to spend it all. But the middle class have lots of money (as a group) and it's spread amongst enough people that they'll spend most of it, creating opportunities for new businesses to open and letting the economy grow.

>> No.28886317

Not surprising, even the most capitalist as fuck countries generally have byzantine as hell laws regarding gold and precious gems for whatever reason, and tax agencies are basically the Nazgul.

>> No.28886339

I suppose that probably doesn't bode well considering modern economic policies (or lack thereof, really) are destroying the middle class.

>> No.28886383

From last weeks game

>"Well I just assumed you guys would min max like my old party, either way, I'm not going to hold back. If you die, you die."

>> No.28886438

This is hilariously evil.

>> No.28886450

Artificial Difficulty

>> No.28886459

Bwahahaha what a scrub DM.

>tfw a player messes up and you have to kill him, because you said "you die you die"

Then you realize he screwed up the math and is still alive, if barely

>> No.28886460


>> No.28886468

Isn't the modern definition of middle class just "primary household wage earner works in an office"? Small business owners are disappearing, but I don't see cubicle drones going anywhere.

>> No.28886533

I usually include a sales tax (5-15%) and property taxes for immersion's sake.

If the tax rate is upwards of 10%, it is usually a subtle clue as to a nation's political affairs.

>> No.28886551

>I don't see cubicle drones going anywhere

Why do you hate office workers? I fucking love my office job. Cool work, amazing pay, great hours, really interesting stuff.

>> No.28886611

>"I investigate chest"
>"Are you SURE?"

>> No.28886625

Does anyone have knowledge of preindustrial tax schemes?

Assuming a feudal setting with consistent rule of law, I thought a lot of it was paid to the local lord in goods. Pretty much everyone was in the same tier (poor as fuck) and the lord paid a tithe (in gold, soldiers, or whatever) to whoever was in charge/next up the totem pole.

I would think a small, armed party with a horde of gold would want to hide it just so that some hard up lord didn't send his goons down to collect that new 100% tax on gold and jewels he just came up with.

>> No.28886627

>Mad that people are discussing things that aren't /tg/ on /tg/
How new

>> No.28886634

I want to write a fantasy campaign now. Sort of urban sprawl, with every race under the collective suns of every fantasy universe coming together. And the tax collectors will be nazgul.

>> No.28886651

Cool. I like my office job as well. Let's be happy with our lives at the same time while inexplicably still posting on 4chan.

>> No.28886662

I don't know, but what annoys me the most is when he makes every encounter ever to counter the party abilities, skills and features.

>Oh, so you can fly? every enemy ever can fly
>Oh, so you can be invisible? every enemy ever has true sight
>Oh, so your character relies on being attacked in melee? all enemies ever make now ranged attacks
>Oh, so...fuck, you know the deal

I guess it's ok if that happens once or twice, so things become interesting, but not everyfucking time so your only approach to a combat is
>Turn 1: Know our enemies are tailormade agains us
>Turn 2: Run

>> No.28886665

A brief list:

>"the tunnel collapses behind you"
>"have you guys ever heard of a spider wasp?"
>"you notice a mysterious stranger in the corner of the tavern"
>"there is no save"
>[if a female PC] "the king eyes you with lust in his eyes and beckons you forward"
>"the villager tells you not to stray from the [only] path"
>[if an elf PC] "the orc king eyes you with lust in his eyes and beckons you forward"
>"roll for vaginal circumference"
>"I made a couple houserules after last week's session"
>"have you guys ever heard of hemorrhagic smallpox?"
>[if a lawful good PC] "the drider eyes you with lust in her eyes and beckons you forward"
>"roll for insemination"
>"use a coaster please"

>> No.28886679

>party of infamous murderhobos terrorizing the countryside
>rookie tax collector kid thinks maybe we can nail 'em on a tax evasion charge
>only shot we got

what ever happened to those hard-assed, hardcases trying to make their stand, anyhow?

>> No.28886703

>"I do x"
>"Okay, you do x?"
>Look at player, wait for them to respond
I love doing this when I'm GM. It helps to keep track of exactly what happens, it keeps the players on their toes, second guessing themselves, and when it finally IS because of a trap they can't bullshit their way out of it

>> No.28886706

Not mad that they're off-topic - derailing is great. Just mad that it'd be stupid-ass political discussions.

>> No.28886715

Why do you think I post so much on 4chan? I can get away with at least 1 hour of posting per day.

>> No.28886717


>> No.28886723

>the coaster eyes you with lust in its eyes and beckons your glass forward

>> No.28886724


I see what thou didst.

>> No.28886730

My DM used to do that hard. Just turned the entire party into generalists.

>> No.28886733


I remember from my history class that in post-norman england, tax laws were quite complicated and imposed according to profession. The lower classes rarely ever saw money and usually bartered for goods. Farmers typically were taxed bushels of grain or livestock, millers were taxed bags of flour etc. Some professions, such as blacksmithing, were often untaxed because their time was considered too important (plus it was sensible to curry favour with the dude making your horseshoes and stirrups).

>> No.28886775

Does anyone have those "roll for initiative" comics?

>> No.28886788

>player wants his character to play a prank on another character
>Needs a common item to do it
>DM goes out of his way to alter the setting in the most ridiculous ways so player can acquire said item out of pure paranoia

You know what I'm talking about

>> No.28886830

>alright guys, I just have a few house rules.... *proceeds to ban 90% of all classes, races, feats and spells*

>> No.28886857

>Taxed the ever loving hell out of the rich
why the hell were there even wealthy people still living there under such a regime? wouldn't they have all moved away at some point?

>> No.28886874


can't acquire said item*

>> No.28886906

When your DM decides getting high is more important then progressing in the game.

>> No.28886907

If I remember correctly he never tried to just get some wheat and make some right? I would have loved to see "Nope, no one sells wheat"

>> No.28886925

>The most vile, evil things DMs can do
read the chapter on poisons and diseases, and smile...

>> No.28886953


I think the player never cared enough for that, just visited any shop/farm he could. But man, if he had tried it and the DM erased wheat then that would have been an entirely new level of awful.

>> No.28886969

>Roll to detect traps in the room
>"You don't detect anything"
>Open door out of room
>Entire door explodes
>Survive (barely)
>Houseruled scarring system leaves me with third degree burn scars everywhere
>DM has that little DM smirk

>> No.28886996

>Those that aren't banned are the most broken pieces of shit ever
>Play them
>When DM realizes they're broken proceeds to blame you for random shit
Been there

>> No.28887028

I should probably add that his reasoning was that the explosive was on the other side of the door, thus not in the room. Without context it makes him seem like That DM, but we were all level ~20, so its not like we weren't prepared.

>> No.28887037

Basically, yeah. It's fucking retarded, but the "job creators" (the rich... even though the real job creators are the demand creators aka the middle class) have convinced us that the economy doesn't work the way it really does.

Probably because revolution tends to come from the middle class. Eliminate the middle class and you're golden. Won't last forever though.

>> No.28887065

>The last three levels have all been in dream, please hand in your character sheets.
This actually happened to me.

>> No.28887078

I had a DM that banned nearly every class. All psionics. All martial adepts. Wizard, sorcerer, druid, cleric, favored soul (although you could multiclass as a cleric or favoured soul if it was never more than half your levels). All the "asian inspired" classes from the complete series. I think that's all of them.

I played a beguiler and my friend played a factotum. I can guarantee that at the end of the campaign that DM banned those two classes as well.

>> No.28887103

>characters can travel through dimensions, summon powerful demons and angels, challenge mighty dragons in singles combat and bring back the dead
>cannot heal some scars

>> No.28887126


>> No.28887133

Why do you guys have such shitty GMs?

Why don't you guys just force your GM to understand that what he's doing is bullshit?

>> No.28887134

What. the fuck.

How do they even justify that?

>> No.28887154

He also started the campaign with "Please hand your character sheet to the person on your right." i'm pretty sure he was doing this shit on purpose.

>> No.28887162

/tg/ replaces all other boards.
That includes /pol/.

>> No.28887182

>>DM has that little DM smirk

That's grounds for a suplex.

>> No.28887183

This thread is like girls complaining about their boyfriends. Stories about the rare terrible things people do are always more entertaining than all the small good things they do.

>> No.28887187

It might be one of the best and safest places in the entire region to live in.

>> No.28887194

I've had lots of GMs. Most have been good. Few have been great. Fewer have been terrible.

Been playing pretty hardcore for about a decade now. Had at least a dozen DMs since highschool.

>> No.28887211

Okay that's actually kinda amusing if it's a one shot.

>> No.28887234

The game went on for several months

>> No.28887241

Or is tired of people playing the same type of character over and over and over again. My boy had to do this for one campaign.

>one girl ALWAYS played a super flirtatious rogue (was a fatass 3/10 IRL)
>one guy ALWAYS played a dark and mysterious arcane caster whose only character trait was "likes to hurt people"
>one guy ALWAYS plays a really book-dumb but kind hearted fighter type

>> No.28887262

Alot of players (even good roleplayers) have no talent for storytelling or pacing or any of the other DM jobs, so they've got no idea what to suggest other than "quit being shit".

Not saying that's true of any of these anons, but I know a lot of players who start out gaming, and know that the game sucks, but they can't quite say why.

>That encounter was too hard, it sucked
>So you want to just win automatically?
>No... but we're heroes, why does my sword fly out of my hand one out of twenty times?

>> No.28887269


>> No.28887279

Why not Auditors of Reality?

>> No.28887328

Assuming a standard pseudo-mediaeval setting, moving to another country is a vastly more difficult proposition than it is in the modern world's global economy.

You can't just transfer your riches electronically, that wealth needs to be transferred physically, which is going to make you a magnet for every bandit and highwayman for miles around.

Even if you reach your destination safely, and with your fortune mostly intact, there's a good chance that as a foreigner, your new lord is going to demand payment for letting you live in his lands, or may just decide fuck it, and take it for himself anyway.

assuming you manage to make it past that stage, setting up your business again in your new location is going to be hard; maybe you lack the contacts you had in Kingdom A, maybe Kingdom B's local guilds don't take kindly to foreigners setting up shop without their permission. With all these hurdles many will figure it's better to pay the taxes and grumble about it and try and change the law rather than just upping sticks; better the devil you know, and all that

>> No.28887343

>ITT: The most vile, evil things DMs can do

Bring his girlfriend to the game.

>> No.28887363


>> No.28887376


>> No.28887389

>Not getting dream XP for your dream adventures.

Pleb tier DM

>> No.28887391

I want these bylaws.


>> No.28887403

Do people seriously think Sonic 1 is that hard?

>> No.28887418

Look at the score: it's another trick by satan.
Nice try, prince of lies! I'm on to your tricks!

>> No.28887421

>All psionics. All martial adepts. Wizard, sorcerer, druid, cleric, favored soul (although you could multiclass as a cleric or favoured soul if it was never more than half your levels).
What's left? Bard?

>> No.28887433

I second this request.

>> No.28887441

Yes, I love these.

>> No.28887456

>Group makes character sheets
>Nice equipment lists, customized weapons
>Alchemist has a bunch of necessary travel gear for their craft
>Game starts
>We wake up with amnesia amidst a field of corpses after a battle
>All our gear is specifically stated to be lost or broken
>We each get a shitty analogue of our main weapon (spear -> pointy stick, axe -> club)
>Alchemist gets a bowl. Just a bowl.

>> No.28887457

Discworld best world

>> No.28887460

My ex-DM right there, and then if we died or something bad happened to us because the encounter was too hard he just went with "well, you should had tried other approaches instead of kicking in the door"

>> No.28887488

>Just a bowl

>> No.28887492


>> No.28887510


>> No.28887513

Then I'll dump them.

Can you try to convince me to do my senior project meanwhile?

>> No.28887521

... That's considered "evil"? I'm pretty sure that's normal.If you don't run from this encounter, you will almost certainly die. If you run from this encounter you miss out on a big win. But if your character dies, that's that, unless the party carries your body to a temple and pays the 400-1000gp for revival.

Man, DMs are pussies these days.

>> No.28887545

Just take the F.

>> No.28887552

To be fair, diplomacy doesn't do shit for monsters or enemies. Doesn't matter how high you make it.

>> No.28887571

And burn my graduation?

>> No.28887574

I didn't mean only diplomacy, but any kind of "avoiding" the encounter.

>> No.28887586

Beats the time where our level 30 one-shot of D&D 4e, our DM insisted a completely mundane rockslide was a completely impassable obstacle.

Not even some kind of bullshit "anti-magic rocks" or anything, just a completely normal mundane rockslide in a cave.

He got annoyed when we pointed out that 4/5 of s can gain phasing and walk through the rock, and the other can fly over a pit that connects to the same room the rockslide blocked us from.

>> No.28887593

It's considered evil to design all those encounters for a party of much higher level than this one because before seeing their character sheets, you assumed they would min-max.

>> No.28887599

Have an NPC come onto your character as a smoke screen for the GM hitting on you.

GM picking whose in charge of the party and making it the new guy who doesn't know shit.

Hey my gf/wife's brother wants to play.

Remember that kobold you killed in the first game like five years ago? well yeah his family remembers you...

Now I know you've worked for this for three years and have dedicated everything in character towards this goal, but Bob here is my best friend from highschool so tough luck fucker.

>> No.28887603

>not keeping the bowl all the way throu the levels
>not making sure it's made crucial part of the weapon that destroys the BBEG
>not enchanting it to become artifact of ultimate power that outlives you by milenia

>> No.28887611


>> No.28887617

>20 monsters
>one HAS to roll a 20
I very much hope no DM does this without actually rolling. There's, like, 35% chances of a 20 never happening over 20 rolls. If one doesn't roll, he's practically lowering the critical success treshold to natural 13.

>> No.28887623

>running lvl 30 anything
>expecting anything to be a physical obstacle

>> No.28887624

This is why I am glad I don't live in the U.S.

Our politicians are stupid sometimes but yours seem almost like they are actively trying to destroy your country.

>> No.28887626

Way to miss the point.

>> No.28887628

>20-30% individual tax

>> No.28887634

>> No.28887660

Not rolling for the monsters as a group is pleb tier anyway. And nat 20s should never be auto success

>> No.28887661

>> No.28887666

This guys knows true horror. I feel for you. All the other shit in this thread don't really break the game if you got some inventive and a decent level of powergaming

>> No.28887676

>> No.28887679


>> No.28887681

Yeah, though months is tretching it a bit.

A few one-shots my DM did, he basically had a character with the character occupation(like bomb specialist, sniper, assassin, etc), in-game race(though we could use any race provided we could explain how that works), and we had to fill in the blanks, then play a one-shot like that.

It was partially to keep things fresh so we aren't playing the same character for months on end, and partially to flesh out the game world a bit(all the characters were NPCs who we've met, but we were adding some actual personality to the characters).

This type of thing led to some of our funnier game moments("Hey guys, I broke even! And I have the scars to prove it!")

>> No.28887690

>Sitting at an inn, eating dinner
>The rogue sitting next to me starts talking to his reflection in the window
>Later explains an invisible self-proclaimed man offered him a shit ton of gold for the vampire's heart our group is carrying with the addition of assisting him in using it in a ritual of sorts
>Rogue agreed, explained he'll need to discuss it with his friends
>the invisible man said he'll be back here in the morning, told him to sit in the same place when he's having breakfast
>Shortly after making sure the voice came from outside the window at the mouth height of the average standing human, I ask the half-elf acquaintance of mine that has connections in this town to get me a bear trap
>he said it's late, and getting it on such short notice would be pricey.
>I pay 50g and get it an hour later, during that time I got some leaves and stuff of the sort
>Covered the trap sufficiently (29Nature)
>due to the location of the trap being significantly away from the road to the inn's entrance, after briefly looking around I assumed no one would be stepping on it in the 8 hours between now and breakfast
>It's breakfast
>no one activated the trap so far
>sit at the table just like before
>the rogue surreptitiously kicks my leg and looks at his barely reflecting image in the window
>Assume it's an imp (as one had been seen several times prior to this occasion in our adventures)
>I smash the window and attempt to hit the invisible imp with a sword assuming he is hovering in a height appropriate to the voice as heard by the rogue (26MBA [level 5, 4e])
>Didn't hit anything (first time ever missing a hit with a score like that and so:)
>Everyone assumes it's a voice magically thrown to that location
>Pay 100g to the owner of the inn and apologize
>fastforward a few sessions
>it was the imp all along
>go home frustrated as fuck
>for the first time ever google stats for mobs
>Imp AC: 20

>> No.28887705

Spend 90% of their time fauning over the loli.
Turn all the female PCs pregnant, willing or not.
Mostly via the loli.

Alternate: no-save mind control.

>> No.28887707

>group doesn't take not having their gear into account when generating characters

Under 30s detected

>> No.28887716

>Level 6 party
>Have a character with invisibility at will (warlock) and that invocation that gives you +6 to hide and move silently, so maxed stealth character
>Trying to sneak in a fortress
>DM starts rolling dices...like a lot
>There're like 30 guards in the fortress, rest is sleeping
>He clearly rolls more than 30 dices
>"What? they have other senses apart form sight and hearing"

Srly, I hate when they also have sense chakra, cosmos, spider-sense, echo randar and shit like that even though they were fucking normal as fuck humans.

I got too much bullshit from that guy and when I quit the fucker dared to say "Good, I was starting to hate you PC, that class is too OP"

>> No.28887717


Your making me want to try and set up a campaign where the PCs are tax collectors.

-Start out, mostly dealing with random encounters and bandits as they travel from town to town.
-Auditing minor nobles and merchants suspected of concealing wealth.
-Dealing with the political fallout as that nobleman was connected at court,
-Get assigned to enforce taxes on adventurers as punishment because it's basically suicide.
-Chase down murderhobos, beat them into submission, take 30% of their stuff. fill out appropriate paperwork.
-Get a rep as being tough, efficient, loyal, tax collectors, as opposed to the regular sort who collects about as much in bribes as they turn over in taxes.
-This means that now it's not just bandits and pissed off adventurers, but assassins from neighboring kingdoms (the taxes go largely to the kings army, kill them and you've effectively taken out a battalion), revolutionaries unhappy with the tax system, and dragons who think it's nice of you that you're gathering all of their gold in one place (of course it's theirs, it's gold isn't it? QED).

>> No.28887725

Hey, I'm taxed 17% on income 15 or 21% on all spendings.
I'd be delighted for flat 20.

>> No.28887764

>Grunkle wears a hat
>Roll for initiative

Every time

>> No.28887766

>> No.28887768

But... but.. lolis are not for lewds!

>> No.28887777

>Have an NPC come onto your character as a smoke screen for the GM hitting on you

Goddammit Luke. Katie doesn't want you. She thinks you're gross, especially after the time you practically molested her when she was drunk.

>> No.28887813

It's low for people who make good money.

>> No.28887816

>> No.28887830

incoming disaster

>> No.28887831

I'm missing the joke here.

>> No.28887833

I had one that did something like this

>Oh you figured out something interesting? Every enemy ever will be doing it now. Including the completely morons that can barely figure out which end is the sharp end.

>Oh you carry a specific item 'cause your character is super prepared and beat my encounter with it? Now everyone does it, even the wolves.

>Oh you have high sense motive? Every NPC has 42 Bluff now. (I am not kidding, he gave an NPC a +42 to Bluff for no reason other than one player could never be lied to)

>> No.28887844

>Mass suggestion

Some problems just solve themselves.

>> No.28887858

Keep that line of thought bro, I'm one of those passionate for the rules, shitty worldbuilding DM!

>> No.28887867

Or lead a revolt.

>> No.28887872

I understand the point, the DM was wrong to assume, but the players have to assume the DM isn't going to play nice.

>> No.28887875

Normal for people who make minimum wage.

>> No.28887894

>seem almost like
At least half of them do

>> No.28887898

Better have been a god-damned bard/sorcerer

>> No.28887900

It should be fucking lower than that. 10% or so would make sense, and then scale it up to 35% max for the top income earners.

>> No.28887901

>use a coaster please


>> No.28887906

>> No.28887908

Got a bit of a situation that's kind of related, so I won't bother with a new thread. My gm is quickly turning into that gm. If he sees this and connects the dots, I'm going to bring it up tomorrow anyway.
Dark Heresy
>Sets players up in 1v1 matches against a npc with a 60 in WS and Ag(which is higher than a demon who specializes in close quarters). He then has to improvise the scene when a player lands a hit, and when a player actually wins.
>A player had to leave mid-session for family reasons. The GM had every enemy seek him out and kill his character. The character only lives because we burned a fate point for him. The GM gave the player a missing leg and respiratory issues, which is the only part that made sense.
>Takes away the character's crutches next session. Shortly before a party the cell didn't want to attend to begin with.Yes, we had to get him crutches. He's been rerolling a lot recently in all systems and the table got tired of it.
>Planetary governor stands up and tells everyone at the party that we are part of the Inquisition.
>Calls us into his private study as soon as the feast ends.
>A snide comment later and 20 soldiers with hellguns are ready to gun down the cell.
>Governor apparently has close enough ties to the Adeptus Terra to get the cell jailed.
>Cell is given their equipment back and thrown out a service tunnel where we find out there's a possibility anyone who's eaten at the feast will die of a disease in 48 hours that can't be detected until it's well underway.
All in one session. Even better, the table got together and made chapters for the sector. GM okays it at first, but gets pissy if they're brought up in any way. The rest of the table either loved the idea and actually helped, or were apathetic since the chapters would always be too busy to affect the investigation.

The shit he's pulling in fantasy settings in next post.

>> No.28887915

>Grunkle wears a hat

slays me

>> No.28887917

what country do you live in??

>> No.28887938

I like how your post implies that a little girl is involved in all of your RPG sessions.

>> No.28887939

Why would you play with this DM?

>> No.28887946

>> No.28887949

The Republican Party: component of the super-rich and the people they managed to fool.

>> No.28887954 [DELETED] 

Its infuriating when the GM not only looks over your sheets, but gives you the OK on equipment, and then on the very first session throws away all your work like a cheeky little shit without giving any indication that maybe we shouldn't spend any time worrying about our gear.

Especially when some of that customized equipment had Weapon Bond perks to give them plot protection and he got rid of them anyway.

>> No.28887959

There is 20 of us, at least one of us rolled nat 20 on his save and slapped the others back to their senses. Roll for initiative.

>> No.28887964

>Tells us we'll be doing a campaign in a setting he made.
>Show up on game day, he's the only person not ready.
>Wait 2-3 hours for him to get finished.
>Knows that everyone at the table likes Dwarves to varying degrees, ranging from "I like Dwarves, they're fun" to "Dwarves are my favorite race."
>So naturally, they're extinct. By the way, his favorite race is Elves. He hasn't outright said he hates Dwarves, but he's dropping hints left and right.
>First stop: entire party is getting stomped by spiders abruptly, no checks or anything.
>Horsemen come and save the party, and the captain gives the party his sob story about his brother still being at the spider's nest.
>Fast forwarding to the first dungeon, every room has a trap in it.
>Every. Fucking. Room.
>Dungeon ends with a not-evil wizard bemoaning that the villagers are pissed that their crops are being burned down. Shortly before a demon comes in and possess the wizard.
>Stomps the party after 20 rounds of "you can't break my shield."
>Leaves the party alive. No loot anywhere in the dungeon that wasn't either cursed or required skill checks to create.
>"Oh hey guys, I don't really like this setting anymore, I'm going to make a new one. Go ahead and scrap your character sheets, I'm going to make special classes for this new setting and run it off 3.5 D&D.
>4 months later, the setting still isn't done.
Somebody else tried DM'ing to get everyone used to 3rd edition(which the DM switched his setting to). Tried to diplomacy Orcs into releasing prisoners for food. I didn't fail because the Orcs are monsters, but because somebody else chimed in and the Orcs saw that as a sign of weakness. He claimed he'd be a bad DM because he'd just kill everybody.
There are some high points of his gaming sessions, but the bad is starting to outweigh the good.

>> No.28887969

The US. In a region often described as a foreign country in news reports. That's incredibly Democratic.

>> No.28887971

>> No.28887976

I'd play it.

>> No.28887997

>Spend 90% of their time fauning over the loli.
>Turn all the female PCs pregnant, willing or not.
>Mostly via the loli.
>Alternate: no-save mind control.

If there's a GM magical realm horror story behind this, I'd love to hear it.

>> No.28888029

American protectorates don't count.

>> No.28888046

Last one I have.
Guess no one cares, I hope you guys have fun.

>> No.28888052

>We will rest here gm
Ok who is doing first watch?
>I will
Ok you and your party are now dead
Ya, you guys were to low of level to see or hear them come, and they killed you in your sleep.
>But we did not roll anything
You did not need to, you guys are now dead

>> No.28888056

Oh, it's a state.

>> No.28888065

>[if an elf PC] "the orc king eyes you with lust in his eyes and beckons you forward"
Little did the DM know, that he entered my magical realm!

>> No.28888068

It's been told before. It unfortunately involves a lot of /tg/ goers so I'm not overly keen to go into it since it'll cause a shitload of drama.

The "little girl" was being played by a shy autist who was forced into it by the DM.

>> No.28888080

Seconded, this sounds pretty awesome.

>> No.28888100


>> No.28888102

Have fun with your gay project.

Thanks for dumping those, I enjoyed them.

>> No.28888105

That's like saying
>Demand for bacon is high
>All the people that want bacon are job creators
>Now there will be lots of jobs at pig farms because demand for bacon is high

Ignoring the increasing mechanization of agriculture, the need for large amounts of capital to build and supply the farm, and the fact that some jobs just aren't appealing, your statement would be correct. Unfortunately for you, in the real world, demand doesn't equal jobs.

>> No.28888107

Explain that pic! I didn't watch Evangelion.

>> No.28888109

>delicious tang

>> No.28888114

Is it Hawaii, endangered species Capital of the United States?

>> No.28888129

Can it be found in the archive?

>> No.28888159


>Remember that kobold you killed in the first game like five years ago? well yeah his family remembers you...

I love shit like this. I remember reading someone's account of a game in which, at level 1, they pushed a goblin down a well for giggles. Like a year later the countryside was being ravaged by a plague of giant insects. Turns out the goblin found something at the bottom of the well that let him rouse all the bugs and go on a rampage to get back at the nasty tall-folk, all of which wouldn't have happened if the PCs hadn't decided to be jerks.

How is that evil?

>> No.28888171

In the end of the series, everyone turns into Tang.


>> No.28888185

as a DM I think the most evil thing I ever did should be put into story form.
>be running a game for a while
>take no prisoners approach a couple guys are already on there second character by now and my dungeons are cruel and unforgiving.
>characters approach a sacred dungeon meant to house a powerful item they were on a quest to retrieve to help them ultimately help them thwart an encroaching invasion on the free lands by an evil alliance formed in the south
(typical fantasy shit)
>get halfway through the dungeon and fight a cryo hydra
>party assumes unwisely that this was the boss
>rogue neglects to check the next door for traps
>door happens to have he nastiest poison I could find on the handle
>rogue dies opening the door
>new guy at the table was making a bard
decides to switch it around and make a rogue instead.
>try to show mercy allow him to be trapped in ice in the dungeon. they are gonna need a rogue for this they just entered the mother fuckin labyrinth all encounter from here to the real boss are traps for the most part.
>new guy rogue gets unthawed while the old rogues player tries to figure out his next character
>new rogue get them most of the way through and decided to go check a hallway while the rest of the party sits tight, rogue misses a magical trap but makes his reflex save "whoosh of fire" "I'm okay" rogue wanders up the hallway and finds some loot *jackpot*
>rogue proceeds to wander back down the hallway assuming the trap is used up doesn't even bother to check
>Whoosh..... silence rogue failed save and is kill
>old rogues player will now be making another rogue and new rogues player will go bard
>party manages to use the cleric of kord to tank through what remains depleting both his spells and precious hit points
>get to the boss
>first dragon fight of the game I expected them to get there with 7 guys and have avoided he traps mostly. oops
>ranger rolls with bow 20 20 confirm insta kill

>> No.28888215

I doubt they were archived. I'll go into it without names if people want me to, I'm just letting you know in advance that it may shit up the thread if they come in and rage.

TEH REI has a bunch of clones that float in a tank full of LCL which is suggested but not explicitly stated to be womb juice. It's quite orange, earning it the nickname "tang".

In End of Evangelion, all humans except the main character turn into Tang and become a unified consciousness or some shit like that.

>> No.28888222

Thank the machine god it's not. Our state managed to come out with a small budget surplus this year thanks to the sequester and a few pro-business policies rammed through the Senate despite local opposition.

Yep. And they're only endangered if you believe that these species should have a higher population despite the predation of invasive species that have been here for hundreds of years and don't appear to be leaving anytime soon. Most of them have reached an equilibrium where they will survive at their diminished numbers, though some rare few are genuinely in danger due to human action. The humpback whale is not one of them, Sierra Club protestations to the contrary.

>> No.28888235


>> No.28888239


I don't know if this is how it works for 4E, but if the imp WAS actually invisible then it would have gotten a miss chance for concealment. Even if you beat his AC the DM probably rolled for concealment and you missed for that reason.

>> No.28888271

each member of the party needs to play each remaining class so brokenly that the GM banns them.

then when your character's die or a new campaign is started and he asks you to roll new characters proclaim "AS WHAT?! THERE ARE NO CLASSES LEFT TO PLAY!" he will then see the error of his ways...

>> No.28888274


>> No.28888298

That or he'll make you all play mundane, featureless manikins with no outstanding features or stats and then the universe will be at peace.

>> No.28888302

>Playing a Lawful Good Knight that went AWOL

>> No.28888313

Who could possibly be dumb enough to thing Hawaii is a seperate country?

There was a major war fought over it, and it even got a star (having exactly 50 is important, you know)

>> No.28888318


>> No.28888338

>I doubt they were archived. I'll go into it without names if people want me to, I'm just letting you know in advance that it may shit up the thread if they come in and rage.

Just tell the story mang.

Tomorrow's Monday, we all need a pick-me-up.

>> No.28888340

>which is suggested but not explicitly stated to be womb juice.
Also liquified souls at the same time.

>> No.28888345

>total party kills
>undetectable traps
>holding grudges against players who previously wronged him/for stuff not even related to the game
>self-insert NPCs/BBEGs
>"my job is to beat the party"

>> No.28888355

Your bear trap idea was fucking hilarious.

>> No.28888379

Fine. Let me get a coffee and put some pies on.

>> No.28888417

I don't know if poisoning all their food so I can get them unconscious and railroad them into an awesome fight is considered evil...

But its going to happen.

>> No.28888430

Dew eet

>> No.28888435


>not having a rule that every adventuring party must have a token loli.
It's like you hate fun.

>> No.28888440

Holy fuck this is beautiful.

The Nazgul will now be collecting taxes in ALL of my campaigns.

>> No.28888450

A lot of news reports about President Obama's trips to Hawaii say it's a foreign country. They do correct themselves the next day, but apparently whoever is proofreading for the major news networks doesn't care about the geography of the US.

>> No.28888488


>> No.28888498

Eh, fuck Hawaii. Fucking pineapple eating hula dancers.

>> No.28888512

It was a level 1 NPC commoner
I don't. Those are basically the reasons I left his group

>> No.28888522

>nothing about domestic spying fiasco
>"Obama's Selfie Scandal! Michelle Mad!"

Fuckin' Murka.

>> No.28888545

That is an option, but also very high risk; if you get found out at best you lose everything and get thrown in jail, at worst you lose everything and get executed in an inventive and gruesome manner as a lesson to other would-be conspirators.

If you succeed, congratulations you have deposed the king but have possibly destabilised the country militarily and economically. The future is now wonderfully ripe with opportunities for you, but also with danger; those loyal to the old regime take to the woods and prey on your trade routes, or hire an army from a neighbouring kingdom worried that if your rebellion goes unpunished, their own populace might get ideas. Populist demagogues lead secondary revolutions when the free and fair society you promised doesn't come about...

>> No.28888576

Run enemy caster NPCs to maximum theoretical optimization short of outright Pun-Punning.

Or just outright Pun-Punning.

>> No.28888578

But the Nazgul are responsible for helping dudes steal their wives...

>> No.28888581

I think it's just total concealment which is either -5 or -10. if you include cover for the window that's at least -7. So yeah, a 26 could easily miss.

>> No.28888661


>> No.28888662

The media treats President Obama with kids gloves compared to other presidents, and I really don't understand why. I went to his speech in Hawaii, out of curiosity, and he's just not that inspiring or special.

I guess it's because he's black.

>> No.28888681

Shh, he'll call you a racist next.

>> No.28888720

>I guess it's because he's black.

No he's a Democrat, and the media was so completely on his side in the 2008 election they've now mouse-trapped themselves.

If they report him fairly, the liberals who are their only remaining audience will leave.

What a situation, eh? :)

Now, dammit, can we talk about fucking GAMES?

>> No.28888721

Because back then wealthy people were slightly more capable of understanding that one thing their taxes paid for was the soldiers and police who kept the proles from killing their oppressors.

>> No.28888724

>I went to his speech in Hawaii, out of curiosity, and he's just not that inspiring or special.

Most people have very low Will saves.

>> No.28888745

>I guess it's because he's black.
Bingo. Also party politics.

>> No.28888757

>party politics.

>> No.28888780

I don't have a problem with this. Compared to sending in ground troops like they tried to do in Somalia just a few weeks ago, drones are a lot better for everyone involved. Fewer American lives at risk, less chance of the target escaping, and you won't get long firefights that could kill more civilians or escalate.

>> No.28888781

Murka seems to be more worked up about the spying than we are here in the UK, where our politicians and some of the media are all like "Hey Guardian guys, the terrorists are totes gonna win now you've told everyone about all that spying shit that was going on, it's like you hate your country"

>> No.28888790

I have nothing against token lolis. I played one myself, actually. Pic related.

Anyway, I actually have two stories, but I'll tell the worse one second, because you should always save the best til last.

>>28887705 [ease of browsing intensifies]
So this hails back to one of the early releases of AdEva. One of our guys had the bright idea to run a Super Robot Wars game using it, which I encouraged him towards, since it sounded like fun. I am an idiot.

Characters were mostly as anticipated. Powergamer powergamed, etc.... it could have been okay, until the inclusion of Nasuverse characters and Blazblue characters. I grit my teeth and stuck in. Big mistake.

One of my friends, who I'd actually gotten involved in the affair in the first place, had been pressed into playing Rei by the DM, who is apparently a raging lolicon. Being extremely shy, inexperienced, and autistic, he agreed. Now TEH REI, as it promptly was discovered during the first fight of the game when the DM took control of the character and had them one-shot the already dead enemy (while complaining about it dying so fast because we'd rolled well. It was Armageddemon, by the way), was a Kaleid Liner (think Kamen Rider Decade but with a worse soundtrack), from Nasuverse, and had tapped into her alternate universe self, Noriko, for her finishing move.

Now, I'd actually woken up slightly late for this game (it ran at like, 7 AM for me), so my character hadn't been there for the initial deployment. Instead, since I was playing r63 Domon Kasshu, I went full kung-fu movie ham when she arrived one turn deep. This drastically showed up teh Rei, and she was placed under house arrest for the remainder of the game.

I grit my teeth and rolled with it because ultimately it didn't actually change anything about the game. Ha ha ha.

>> No.28888791

Haha becuase everyone but me is stupid sheep. Lol I have been red pilled guys xD.

>> No.28888823

Getting back to games...

Could you take a druid or wizard summoned creature and use that for a long-distance precision strike against an enemy? Or are there spells that can do that better?

>> No.28888830

Pretty much. I'm moving to canada in a year or so anyway. Less retardedness and a nicer climate, and huge tracts of land to just fuck off and be alone in.

>> No.28888858

>I'm moving to canada in a year or so anyway. >Less retardedness

This is what South Canadians actually believe.

>> No.28888889

Holy shit man, I like that line art. Source?

>> No.28888909

Well, there a lot of people who feel that way in the US too. But the only media outlet that actually says that sort of stuff is Fox News.

>> No.28888910

It's something or other morrowind related. Try google.
Also, my consolidation for your near-miss.

>> No.28888921

Stop the surprise round before you get to go in it and make everyone roll initiatives

>> No.28888934

Finally, a political cartoon that makes sense.

>> No.28888944

>Imp AC: 20
Nope. it's 17 Google is nice. The Monster Manual is nicer

Even if this wasn't the case, a good DM would be fudging rolls so that after the arguably creative efforts made by you, your hit would kill or at least land on the imp, it's not like the BBEG can't just send another.

In 4e invisibility merely means any hit roll made against you (provided the target was indeed your location) is reduced by 5.

>> No.28888945

Or in Eberron, could you make a flying Warforged and use them to launch precision Fireball spells stored in wands?

>> No.28888964

Oh, silly anon. The Republicans care deeply about everyone. It's how they can be so thorough about fucking everyone who isn't their paymasters; their hatred of all who aren't morons gives them tard-strength.

>> No.28888972


I'd wager its high time to actually bring this up with him. if not? get a new fucking gm, seriously.

>> No.28889008

I'm bringing it up with him when I see him tomorrow. It's an hour to midnight where I am.

>> No.28889059

Why would he even do this? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever, story or pacing wise.

>> No.28889133

Celebration time! Pilots go out for ice cream. Not mine, but you'll soon see about that.

Aoko Aozaki, the Blue Magician, the Magic Gunner, the baddest ass in Nasuverse, stirrs up a heap of shit down the street, and comes face to face with about eight assorted Nasuverse/BlazBlue characters, and also Bian Zoldork in powered armor!Valsion (which was, in fairness, pretty cool). My character is also there, since she knew a couple of them.

This is where we realise that the DM has not read Ch8: Playing the Game of DH. In DH, your actions in a grapple are very limited. With my character's stats (and unusually high Strength for a game where that stat doesn't matter), the best way I could contribute was to grapple her. So I did. And I succeeded, too.

When the DM attempted to cast in the grapple, I reminded him of the rules of the game. At this point, the DM had a meltdown for 24 hours because he realised that if all of his other god NPCs attacked Aoko at the bonus for grappling while her ability to defend herself was limited (her Strength was very low, showing that the DM knew nothing about Nasuverse at all), she was going to die, and things would fall off the tracks.

So he retconned the entire event, then did it the next day over again as a cutscene where Aoko ran up a skyscraper and kidnapped Teh Rei. No prior consent. Just boom. Kidnapped in a cutscene. The player didn't even get a Fate Point.

Teh Rei spends the next like two months pinned to an operating table with lots of tentacles and fades to black.

Meanwhile, Kaworu Nagisa impregnates an emotionally abused (by her alleged comrades) Asuka in spite of pills and condoms, spawning a shortlived meme that Angel semen is Penetration 2. Asuka takes an opportunity to get away from the hell her personal hell and flees to Japan, where she's ambushed down a dark street by True Assassin and turns up an amnesiac pregnant bimbo four weeks later.

>horse fuyingr

>> No.28889141

This so much. My GM and group is new, myself included, and I often find simple items unavailable even though they should. Though it's probably my fault given all the shenanigans that ensued after getting some rope.

>> No.28889207


Everyone has hobbies.

>> No.28889223

When the train gets rolling, it don't stop.

>> No.28889226

Stopped reading right there.

>> No.28889228

Any particular reason?

When I want to nudge characters towards a quest, having the supply of something they need because of <bandits> <orc horde> <BBEG> etc is a nice way to get under their skin.

>My imaginary family is going to be raped, killed, and eaten? Ehhhh...

>> No.28889250

I find that getting high makes me more creative and thus better at improvising

>> No.28889292

>r63 Domon Kasshu

So, Kallen.

>> No.28889308

It's funny/tragic how alot of the papers here (particularly the ones engaging in the dark arts the most) are all het up about Leveson and how regulation will stop them from holding power to account for it's misdeeds are the ones jumping on the Guardian the most for doing exactly that while they were all too busy printing celebrity guff and telling us that the entire populations of Bulgaria and Romania are going to come here and steal all our jobs and our benefits

>> No.28889351

What kind of date rape drugs did the GM use to get you into that game?

>> No.28889398

This isn't even the worst story. That comes when I'm done with this one.

I know. She was aged down. Note: player was not at all familiar with Evangelion and too shy to speak up about being pushed into playing the little girl.

Nah, more like post-series Domon after he's gone a bit more spiritual, a la SRW MX. I had fallen out of love with Code Geass by that stage, so she wasn't much of an influence.

Teh Rei is being held in the Forbidden City. As the only party member geared for on-foot combat (as a Champion, the terrible super-early version), I am told to come up with a plan to breach the City. I acquire maps in and out of character, intelligence of the area, and devise a small unit tactics plan that should provide a quick sweep and secure. This plan is promptly vetoed in-character due to my character being "untrustworthy", and ignored. She still goes in for the insertion and manages to fight hand to hand with a god NPC. I am later ridiculed by the powergamer for not using a bunch of incredibly secret knowledge he had bartered with the DM for.

During the escape, Teh Rei becomes a magical girl. Back home, she also applies this power to my character and our CO, since my character wasn't going anywhere as herself anyway. The DM goes out of his way to ensure that my character cannot get involved with anything, and at this moment retroactively decides that NERV is out to kill her (???).

Sidestory time. My character was actually a last-second substitution for the character I was going to play, due to me falling in love with Champions. The character I was going to play ultimately ended up more like Akagi than the initial "you are this loser" idea, but he existed in the setting, to be brought in when my first character inevitably bought it (something we'd agreed upon in advance - in fact, as a condition of my last-second switch).

>> No.28889422

I had my PCs rescue a little girl from poverty and almost certain death by starvation...

I could be THAT GUY and bring her back just to kill her...

One of them has even taken a liking to the idea of rescuing her and donated an entire month's salary to the orphanage taking care of her.

>> No.28889444

Why would you ever not want to be the little girl?

>> No.28889468

because it was fictional.

>> No.28889613

Because if you get stuck in a magical realm, you're fucking done.

>> No.28889649

When your DM is a creepy lolicon. I'm getting to the hilarious stuff.

So we do a sidestory session with characters who existed in setting, but hadn't been seen. A chance to get some people who would arrive later some early exposure, and to have some fun otherwise. Someone who isn't in the game, who we will refer to as Mr. Egypt after Ezekiel 23:19-20, came in to moonlight as the co-pilot of a certain mech desired for its enormous cannon.

My character, more than slightly modeled on Kaji in terms of plot role, fakes a system crash (like the ATX vs SRX event in SRW OG1), and spends his time studying the other mechs. Mr Egypt's woman creams her flightsuit when the cannon goes off, the only non-dialogue piece of roleplaying that was performed. When we are measuring dicks after the session, I casually drop that my character was only pretending to be down and had in fact taken no damage, something I had not gone to pains to hide in the fight. There are general mutterings, but nobody really complains. I go to bed since I've been up all night.

Next morning, I arrive to be told that I am to hand in my character sheets to other players, as they have been handed off to Mr Egypt and another occasional player. Note that I was not told this by the DM, but rather, by the other players on his behalf, as he had a nervous breakdown the moment I arrived.

R63 Domon is forced to become the powergamer's abused housewife. (By the way, he was, verbatim, playing Hazama from BlazBlue, with effectively unlimited setting knowledge - in an Evangelion game.) My other character goes from being Kaji to a generic everyman with otaku tendencies.

Meanwhile, Teh Rei is forced to build a harem at her junior school. Many of these children go on to become magical girls at the DM's decree. They also become pregnant, since Teh Rei can somehow get other women pregnant. (Futa may have been involved, no confirmations given.)

>> No.28889677

>implying it wouldn't also be your magical realm

>> No.28889683

It sounds like the players knowingly went into a magical realm. It just wasn't quite the one they expected.

>> No.28889716



>> No.28889778

>Next morning, I arrive to be told that I am to hand in my character sheets to other players, as they have been handed off to Mr Egypt and another occasional player. Note that I was not told this by the DM, but rather, by the other players on his behalf, as he had a nervous breakdown the moment I arrived.

He had a nervous breakdown over a fucking PnP game?

>> No.28889802

No, most of this stuff was "why would you ever ever do that" but I have a high tolerance for bullshit before I flip the table and I'm very, very stubborn.

By the end of the game, almost every female character is pregnant. Our CO is now a cute monster girl version of Zeruel. Several male PCs have become Servants, even though this makes no sense. Shinji (who is also Berserker) and his girlfriend have been fed an aphrodisiac-filled cake by their caretaker, as she wants children (they are 14, and yes, Sacchin - his girlfriend - got pregnant).

The DM continues to have meltdowns anytime someone brings such spurious things as "rules" to the table, ignores high damage rolls and righteous fury (except when he does it), and turns the game from an ensemble cast into "Rei and her loli harem". Even the powergamer has trouble breaking through with his masterful grasp of mechanics (he may hate me now because I spoke out against this shit but I won't even pretend like he wasn't awesome at making broken shit).

Game touted as best thing since sliced bread; players in the inner circle paint me black to anyone who will listen as I was awful enough to speak up about things being terrible.

That was the LESSER of my two stories. Take five to refill your drinks.

>> No.28889838

>mfw reading this whole debacle

sweet cowslapping christ man.

>> No.28889858

>That was the LESSER of my two stories.

>> No.28889881

This isn't even one of the worst things I've read. Just the most autistic. It's also why I run from games where people bring in anime characters or shit from other continuities.

>> No.28889902

>players in the inner circle paint me black to anyone who will listen as I was awful enough to speak up about things being terrible

You were trying to spoil their magical realm.

>> No.28889920

Just need a little foresight nigga.

>> No.28889940

Oh I know. I'm actually pretty fortunate. That one was directly heinous GMs, though, which is why I mentioned it over the other one, which is heinous GM + heinous circle of favored players.

I just wanted to show them the world!

>> No.28889963


Drinks topped off.

Kick the tires and light the fires you glorious fuck and tell us the other tale.

>> No.28889970

I suppose I'm glad you were there so you could share this story with us, but if most of the players and the DM didn't like you and you didn't like them, then that makes you That Guy.

I mean, I'm glad you were there so you could storytime for us, but you can't fault them for blacklisting you.

>> No.28890001

It's just... To me it's less heinous to "Be Like" this character then it is to Be exactly this fucking character exactly. Coming up with my own take on shit is fun. Copying shit isn't. I'll never understand people who copy it exactly. It's just sooo... Lazy. (Thanks captcha for supplying that word.)

>> No.28890002

>dat repetition
Sorry, I'm tired.

>> No.28890006

>Maid RPG

Is it even possible to run a non-magical realm game with this?

>> No.28890024

Well, yes, but what's the point?

>> No.28890042


It's possible, it's just very easy to Magical Realm the game which is where the problems start if you approach it with the wrong mindset.

>> No.28890049


Nigga it's possible to run Dark Heresy in Maid.

>> No.28890053

It's true - "That Guy" is relative.
And when the rest of the group are actually walking penises...
(Not that I blame the guy)

>> No.28890081

Say "No, you can't do that." More frequently than he says yes.

>> No.28890083

You can have silly, wholesome fun in MAID.

>> No.28890086


>> No.28890106

For those of you who intentionally go to magical realm games, and I know you're out there, how the fuck do you do it? I mean it's you and a bunch of other guys describing how you're having sex with female versions of yourselves.

Even light versions where you're all playing guys and just have sex with NPC's it's still weird to roleplay with the DM like that.

>> No.28890142


That exists? Please elaborate. People don't actually do that, right?

>> No.28890162

People do weird shit in when they're in groups.
Look at this board if you don't believe me.

>> No.28890171

There's an ERP thread up most days, man. It is a common thing.

>> No.28890187

The very fact that these games exist with /tg/ people arriving upon games with 4 other people creating monstrosities implies that the monstrosities and settings would have existed without these people going.

And with the size of 4chan, you have to think someone here goes to those intentionally.

>> No.28890188

Give them saves, at least. Leave the possibility open that one or a few isn't captured / attacked.

>> No.28890240

>GMs telling you what you feel and think
>get surprised when you roleplay your own character

>> No.28890252 [DELETED] 

When your DM is a creepy lolicon. I'm getting to the hilarious stuff.

So we do a sidestory session with characters who existed in setting, but hadn't been seen. A chance to get some people who would arrive later some early exposure, and to have some fun otherwise. Someone who isn't in the game, who we will refer to as Mr. Egypt after Ezekiel 23:19-20, came in to moonlight as the co-pilot of a certain mech desired for its enormous cannon.

My character, more than slightly modeled on Kaji in terms of plot role, fakes a system crash (like the ATX vs SRX event in SRW OG1), and spends his time studying the other mechs. Mr Egypt's woman creams her flightsuit when the cannon goes off, the only non-dialogue piece of roleplaying that was performed. When we are measuring dicks after the session, I casually drop that my character was only pretending to be down and had in fact taken no damage, something I had not gone to pains to hide in the fight. There are general mutterings, but nobody really complains. I go to bed since I've been up all night.

Next morning, I arrive to be told that I am to hand in my character sheets to other players, as they have been handed off to Mr Egypt and another occasional player. Note that I was not told this by the DM, but rather, by the other players on his behalf, as he had a nervous breakdown the moment I arrived.

R63 Domon is forced to become the powergamer's abused housewife. (By the way, he was, verbatim, playing Hazama from BlazBlue, with effectively unlimited setting knowledge - in an Evangelion game.) My other character goes from being Kaji to a generic everyman with otaku tendencies.

Meanwhile, Teh Rei is forced to build a harem at her junior school. Many of these children go on to become magical girls at the DM's decree. They also become pregnant, since Teh Rei can somehow get other women pregnant. (Futa may have been involved, no confirmations given.)

>> No.28890291

HOLY SHIT, I blew the captcha and it ate my post. Shit, shit, shit. Give me a minute.

>> No.28890344 [DELETED] 

When your DM is a creepy lolicon. I'm getting to the hilarious stuff.

So we do a sidestory session with characters who existed in setting, but hadn't been seen. A chance to get some people who would arrive later some early exposure, and to have some fun otherwise. Someone who isn't in the game, who we will refer to as Mr. Egypt after Ezekiel 23:19-20, came in to moonlight as the co-pilot of a certain mech desired for its enormous cannon.

My character, more than slightly modeled on Kaji in terms of plot role, fakes a system crash (like the ATX vs SRX event in SRW OG1), and spends his time studying the other mechs. Mr Egypt's woman creams her flightsuit when the cannon goes off, the only non-dialogue piece of roleplaying that was performed. When we are measuring dicks after the session, I casually drop that my character was only pretending to be down and had in fact taken no damage, something I had not gone to pains to hide in the fight. There are general mutterings, but nobody really complains. I go to bed since I've been up all night.

Next morning, I arrive to be told that I am to hand in my character sheets to other players, as they have been handed off to Mr Egypt and another occasional player. Note that I was not told this by the DM, but rather, by the other players on his behalf, as he had a nervous breakdown the moment I arrived.

R63 Domon is forced to become the powergamer's abused housewife. (By the way, he was, verbatim, playing Hazama from BlazBlue, with effectively unlimited setting knowledge - in an Evangelion game.) My other character goes from being Kaji to a generic everyman with otaku tendencies.

Meanwhile, Teh Rei is forced to build a harem at her junior school. Many of these children go on to become magical girls at the DM's decree. They also become pregnant, since Teh Rei can somehow get other women pregnant. (Futa may have been involved, no confirmations given.)

>> No.28890359

You already posted this part.

>> No.28890431

I deleted it for a reason, since it was a repost of a prior post, so it didn't need to be shitting up the thread.

See >>28890291

Indeed, that guy is subjective. I gave this whole thing my best shot; the stuff that would have produced tableflips out of me only came after I got kicked out.

If that's what you like. R63 Domon was a last-second switch on my part, so I totally phoned her in.

Okay so I should stress that this game not only ran concurrently with my tenure in the previous story, but, the last time it was posted on /tg/, was actually the thread that involved the "tech up" meme (I don't know if that went anywhere though as I don't regularly visit /tg/).

Guy posts on /m/ looking to PUG for an RP he pitches as "Kamen Rider with Persona aspects, in M&M2e". In a fit of kindness, I say he can use my chan as a springboard, since most of the people who go there are RPers and have already expressed interest (in fact, that's how I found it in the first place).

Play proceeds as you might expect at first. Much recruiting. Such social times. A few people don't get in because the runner decided that like 12 people was probably his cutoff. After a bit, one of them dropped, and I mention this to a girl who I knew wanted in, and even worked her into my character's backstory when she asked for an in with her.

This was my second mistake.

>> No.28890490

That Guy is a Good Guy if the rest of the group is shit-tier.

Or a better way of looking at it, that doesn't descend into euphoric relativism, is that it's possible to have a group full of That Guys and have yourself be the only sane decent player.

>> No.28890494

>After a bit, one of them dropped, and I mention this to a girl who I knew wanted in, and even worked her into my character's backstory when she asked for an in with her.

Hooooo boy.

>> No.28890606

So allow me to stress that this game had incredibly strange rules. M&M2e already had rules in its core for transforming heroes like Riders. Instead, our DM decreed that we would build PL4 characters, and then for their Rider forms, apply an extra four PLs to them. (I actually think this is kind of a cool idea, but it needs more crunch knowledge than this guy possessed - only one of our players was familiar with M&M at the time.)

I don't think anyone rolled after the first few sessions, exceptions excluded (I'll come to that later). It was mostly done through freeform, using the sheets as a "guideline". I've spent a lot of time freeforming, and my character was a banchou-delinquent type, so I didn't feel particularly inclined to hold back; this was my third mistake, as it rapidly turned the other players against me (and my character, who promptly became the dorm pariah for daring to do such things as "train").

The aforementioned girl debuts not as a Rider attached to the PC group, but as the Hopper Dopant and idol singer. (Pic related.) We raid her during a performance, and despite the DM's best efforts to create terrain where she is unreachable and we have to fight mooks until she comes down, my character (even untransformed) has feats that let her hardcore parkour wherever she pleases, and promptly climbs up onto the banister. This bit was actually vaguely cool, as the singer promptly did a Guile flash kick and broke three of my character's ribs (my character had congenital insensitivity to pain - well, a fictional version thereof, so she shrugged it off, but it was cool) - which wasn't rolled, by the way - and we duked it out for a bit, she ran outside, and got Time Walked by one of our other characters.

Then DM Fiat she gets away. Um, okay. We go home to pull ourselves together and celebrate our first (sort of) successful mission.

>> No.28890661

I had one DM that made the party roll for stats, and instead of rolling 4 and dropping three, if all the rolls were the same number, you kept all four.
This is how our gnome paladin had 22 STR at level 1.

>> No.28890717

>My DM's making us randomly generate our characters!

>> No.28890720

....I'm stealing this. Sorry.

>> No.28890724

>Hopper Dopant and idol singer
>Time Walked

I don't understand even half of what's going on here.

>> No.28890738

the point is keeping four rolls on one stat, its absurd and has literally no reason behind it.

>> No.28890747

There's no way to get 22 strength by rolling four dice and having them all come up the same. 22 isn't evenly divisible by four. You'd have to roll six-and-a-half.

>> No.28890774

Er, five and a half, sorry.
They're right next to each other on the keyboard.

>> No.28890776

did i mention the part where he is a gnome?
he rolled a 24 for STR then had a -2 racial penalty.

>> No.28890777


6 on all four, -2 from being a Gnome?

>> No.28890785

6+6+6+6 (dice) -2 (racial penalty) = 22.

>> No.28890793

Maybe he was a mountain gnome and got +2 STR

>> No.28890795

Translated moonspeak and Mutants and Masterminds Jargon.
PL 4 is the level they are at. And the rest is animu/Tokusatsu shit.

>> No.28890807

but what if gnomes have -2 str

(too lazy to look it up)

>> No.28890818

Sorry. I didn't know the racial bonuses for gnomes.

>> No.28890821

>Level 4
>Classification of protagonist heroes
>a gang member, but think Robin Hood
>villain from base show and Rebecca Black
>term picked up from AGC, basically "I stop time and attack you"

He lifts.

>Exceptions Excluded
I am is speak english good

PARTY TIME. My character, who used to play team mum for her gang, caters like a boss (like the yakuza girl she is, actually). People get drunk. Our second in command dissolves into a tizzy when she finds one of our party members, our Faiz, so an orphenoch (who, Just Because, suffer alcohol as an aphrodisiac), is in a meido outfit, and they and a couple of others run off with her to, presumably, have sex (this didn't occur onscreen. That sort of thing comes later). The leader, whom my character has had an extreme crush on, eventually gets drunk and goes off with them, people clean up. This was the first sign that things were not good.

As you can tell, I am a DENSE motherfucker, and failed to heed the signs. Doubly-so because I at one point had to afk during the party, which was used by someone else as an excuse to do things that shouldn't have happened (since my character was right there), but whatever.

Hopper goes to the Museum (the villain organization from Kamen Rider W), where she is sleeping with Rule 63 Kirihiko (the best character from W). Note that this character was not only a loli, but was being played by someone who's *screen name* was a series of variations on "_Loli". These, to my knowledge, were in fact RPed out in private (something I don't have a problem with) in exchange for Hopper acquiring a briefcase full of GaiaMemories (which I do) - trinkets that allow entirely different forms, basically the equivalent of being eight characters at once.

>> No.28890849

PL4 is an indication of the Power Level. It's what limits how strong a character can build, and is reasonably like your Character Level (abilities and things are bought with point buy, so this is what keeps you from having a Strength of 40 is a "low-level" game).
Rider: uh. Think of a series of paladins, known especially for riding some form of bike and kicking things really really really hard.
Banchou: they are delinquents.
Hopper Dopant: dunno
Time Walked: I assume that the character simply escaped by DM fiat when they thought they had them.

>> No.28890889

They do

>> No.28890892

dungeons and dickholes is for nerds

have fun with your +4 virginity of youth

>> No.28890895

Point of order! Doesn't the Weather Dopant prove that when you use multiple Gaia Memories you just... Fucking die? In a puddle of oily sludge and pyschopathy?

>> No.28890947

last night i looted a +4 UR MOM

>> No.28890980

I believe at that point she was using one of those gundriver things that the Masked Woman uses. You know, that look like Trigger's gun?
Our powergamer (the aforementioned one) was in fact playing Weather Dopant (and had in fact broken the game again despite having never seen M&M before in his life), although he quit early because he wasn't getting to roll dice enough (thus proving that he is smarter than me).

Close, it was actually our party member who performed the Time Walk, and THEN the enemy somehow got away.

My character and another go to investigate the school, because we've been getting reports of villainous shenanigans. There, we find a fairly generic villain, who makes a series of cracks towards my character about being a lesbian (which go completely over her head since, owing to her deficiency, she has never felt pleasure in her life and is almost completely unaware of sex in general. This will be important later). He bodies the other player involved, then turns around and fiat smashes my character into a tree, which damages her spine and ensures she won't be moving anywhere anytime soon.

Hopper turns up and destroyinates him, going "I'm totally an ally even though I'm hooked up with your enemies and, in fact, have previously attacked you". This is accepted by our commander. Hopper begins making visits at night to the dorm for private ERP, which is canonical despite being private 1-on-1 stuff.

My character, who actually knows what she's like, becomes treated as horrible in-character, and my own standing goes down out of character because people can't separate IC and OOC.

The DM asks me to stat a big bad for the game.

>> No.28891006


>> No.28891013


>> No.28891062

>implying his mm is worth enough to be a +4

>> No.28891146

Get me a jimmes rustled image, stat.

The Big Bad I stat is basically OP as shit because we aren't meant to fight them until our PL has gone up significantly and they have a bunch of trinkets from all over the setting that are not meant to go together even a little bit.

At about the same time (I have been kicked from the first game at this point), the player who cooperated with me most strongly on making the character I never got to play (the guy who faked a loss) asked me to port the character over as his character's brother figure. I do so, in all his hammy "I am Dr. Manhattan" glory, and the DM suggests that I make him a spy for the villains. I agree that this is a good idea, since he's a pedestal for the other character (they are foils; my character is the Mycroft Holmes to his Sherlock - "stronger", but horribly flawed), it will create good conflict. The DM asks for some time to think about it.

The DM never makes a decision, forcing me to spend months making sure the character is never committed too far in either direction.

Before he arrives, however, another character does, and she is the in-universe equivalent of a vampire and one of our other player characters is, by birth, their queen. They sort of have a thing (especially because that character is horribly broken and utterly schizophrenic, consisting of one character who is a naive shy girl with a love complex and one character who is a dominatrix nympho), and another player's character (this is the guy who plays only lusty bitches with E-cups or greater) barges in and insists on threesomes and whines whenever he doesn't get any.

My other character arrives and promptly becomes involved with the first character mentioned above, bonding over their intellect and a shared love of video games. They also renovate the dorm's downstairs bar area into a functioning bar (all of the booze is thrown out by our Decade, whose only gimmick is being a royal bitch and wanting to bone our leader).

>> No.28891192


Change the line from 'All the people that want bacon are job creators' to 'All the people that want bacon are willing and able to buy bacon'- is that more satisfactory?

Yes, there are limitations to how much bacon could be produced, and investment of capital is necessary for production. Also, it doesn't matter how much capital is invested or how many pigs are raised if there's no one willing and able to buy bacon.

Demand isn't equal to jobs, sure, but demand is the source of jobs. Wealth is necessary to start a business- the seed, if you will- but for the seed to grow a proper environment is necessary for it- the environment being the economy.

>> No.28891249

it's morrowind concept art penned my michael kirkbride, one of the main guys who came up with the cool background lore shit in morrowind. he's freelance now i think

>> No.28891270

At this point, I feel somewhat obliged to point out that in-universe, Decade was a *villain* rider; the final plan with which to fuck up all good things everywhere forever, and also singlehandedly killed every other rider (sometimes multiple ones simultaneously). That should give you an idea about this guy.

At this point, after another player who was umming and ahhing drops, someone else expresses interest in joining. Their first concept is a somewhat rugged aspiring journalist, a male. Their second concept is an abused, broken, loli who never wears underpants, or, indeed, regular pants. They are accepted without a shot. (Note: this player was *absolutely* trolling at this point.)

That character ends up spirited away to another bad guy base, run by a second loli (played by the DM, of course), and they have large amounts of loli sex. In fact, that particular loli also starts coming around to have sex with the players, despite being on the opposite side.

Stuff stuff either side. Let's move to the point where I became disillusioned with the game.

The group's leader (the DMPC) hulks out into a monster (a Grongi, from Kamen Rider Kuuga) and is beaten into the floor by Hopper, who drags her back to the Museum. Tracking them, my character is also beaten the fuck up, imprisoned, and dragged in (no save), but she agrees to guard the place, since she cares deeply for her leader.

While standing guard, three other Riders come along. One is the aforementioned schizophrenic, who sneaks around the side and is forced into onscreen sex with Hopper. By the way, their player was the same one who was stuck playing Teh Rei. Of the two who confront my character, one leaves almost immediately, before any talking is done (and later vouches that my character was a horrendous bitch). The other attacks my character in spite of her pleading to not make her fight him, and is summarily chokeslammed through a fire hydrant.

>> No.28891383

"I see. And how much does that coil of rope weigh? And how are you storing it? Okay."

Two hours later.

"The sword bleeds past your defences. You attempt to dodge, but the coil of rope tied to your side impedes your movement just enough that it buries itself in your shoulder - no, makes a clean slice. Your arm has been severed."

>> No.28891384

>the same one who was stuck playing Teh Rei
Poor bastard.

>> No.28891411

The DM constantly needled me about feeling remorse for everyone I killed, how pacifism was a virtue, how my character felt(!!!) about the "murders" he committed, etc.

We were playing the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Take a while guess which one I was.

>> No.28891422


>> No.28891432


>> No.28891440


>> No.28891456

Ronnie James Dio?

>> No.28891457


>> No.28891468

When the new monster stops, we attempt to subdue it so that it doesn't do anything the person under the monster skin will regret later. At this moment, something very interesting happens, which requires some explanation.

My character was Punch Hopper - a side character from Kamen Rider Kabuto used as comic relief; I liked the design and it went with the idea of playing the character as a wrestleboxer. (She once german suplexed a guy. Twice. In a row.) However, since they were very lacking in abilities and I didn't want to do just raw stats/damage, I spiced them up with a few things - most notably, the Nemesis power, which lets you target one enemy and receive X points of powers that counterpick them for as long as you maintain the power.

I targeted her, obviously, the first use of Nemesis, since it was the first time we'd rolled dice in a while and as it was a big change from the series incarnation, I wanted to save it for something that was meaningful to my character - like saving the woman she was in love with.

Nemesis didn't work.
No saving roll.
Just "no".

Then the monster punched my character off a suspension bridge. Meanwhile, the other characters put her down, although not without her losing an arm. Fortunately, she survives. My character does not leave her hospital bed until she's better, despite hostility (even open attacks) from other characters, which was derided all over as being an awful thing to do (???).

When our leader gets out of the hospital, she and my character have a very cute scene regarding mine sulking over her paying more attention to our Decade. She assures my character that she is the only one, and we fade to black. The DM insists they have sex. I insist they do not, since my character is almost totally unaware of sex and wouldn't feel anything anyway. We argue for 30 minutes (including the creepy line "My experience is that even with very young and inexperienced girls, they still have a general idea of what to do").

>> No.28891471


Go back to sunday school, anon.

Fucking finally, it's like none of you shits have read the bible.

>> No.28891506

Jesus rode a horse until he got arrested for drink-riding. It could be Jesus.

>> No.28891519


You totally deserved that insta-kill on the dragon. I would hate you if you were my DM.

>> No.28891524

He rode an ass, you ass.

>> No.28891572

You're thinking of cover. Concealment grants a miss chance, 20% for partial concealment and 50% for total concealment or invisibility

>> No.28891624

>"My experience is that even with very young and inexperienced girls, they still have a general idea of what to do"

>> No.28891643

>DM telling you how your character feels
Right, ok, there's the line.

>> No.28891651

That's hot. I wish there was more butt-porn in the bible.

>> No.28891672

>"My experience is that even with very young and inexperienced girls, they still have a general idea of what to do"
You would think even a hardcore lolicon would know not to say something like that in front of people.

>> No.28891674



That creepy line was from the DM, by the way (I ran out of posting space). Around this point, the leader suggests that she and my character go on a quiet holiday together to recover from all the shit that's been piled on them, just the two of them. There's a hot springs resort nearby!
"Two of them" rapidly turns into "and also Decade and her boytoy", who was basically blueballs incarnate. So they go.

A fight begins within eyesight of the resort. Nobody but the single character involved (who is the younger sister of the big bad, who is no longer the big bad, having been betrayed by the villains, leaving me playing an extremely OP character who is now on the hero's side, a fact which is regularly brought up by the other players and the DM when they complain about me "powergaming") is allowed to acknowledge its existence, which I bitch about until someone finally gives an answer. (It was a reasonable reason, but just being a dick about why people couldn't get involved when they should, to the players' knowledge, be able to see what's going on - this was happening in a public channel - is super shit.)

The DM attempts to bribe me by offering me unlimited usage of Trial, which is an extremely powerful gidget from Kamen Rider W which, in that show, had a usage limit of 10 seconds followed by putting you out of the fight. It was meant to be the upgrade for his DMPC, but since she lost her arm, she couldn't use her old gear (Accel) anymore. I actually wanted to macgyver together Accel and Punch Hopper to create a thing symbolic of my character fighting in place of their leader, which was okayed in character but vetoed otherwise. I turn down unlimited use Trial. My character and his DMPC consummate their relationship in the springs (a side effect of the hot water is that my character gained sensation back).

>> No.28891684

Pestilence was a description of death, not a horseman on his own. The four horsemen were the four stages of war, not the four ways people die.

>> No.28891731

>"My experience is that even with very young and inexperienced girls, they still have a general idea of what to do"

>> No.28891759

>Nemesis didn't work.
>No saving roll.
>Just "no".

That right there is when I would've walked out. I mean lots of that shit is walk-out-able, but just denying something completely like that is bullshit.

>> No.28891776

It's kinda like: "I attack the goblin" "No you don't, and you just contracted genital warts"

>> No.28891847

>"My experience is that even with very young and inexperienced girls, they still have a general idea of what to do"
Please tell me you asked him to have a seat over there.

>> No.28891877


>> No.28891880

Not even a hero point, man. I'd have been okay with it if I'd gotten a hero point. I'd probably have just been like "you can't think of something? Yeah okay". Like, I did kind of put him on the spot, and the sheets had been used so rarely that it was easy to forget.

This is the same guy who commented that he found his boss' single-digit-age children (who he was trusted to babysit by her) attractive. At the time, the way he said it made me think it was a joke, and I unfortunately lack the means to look his ass up now.

I'd like to throw out that when they had sex, I insisted on a fade-to-black and it wasn't carried out privately. I don't mind private ERP with people I'm comfortable with, but dude, not with THAT guy.

Back on the home front, [sex intensifies]. My other character is becoming rapidly unpopular, since his job is to hang around and point out how people are fucking up. At this point, the complaints about him piping up when people decide to slut around rather than fighting evil today are becoming complaints directed at me OOC, not just by players but also by the DM, who has resorted to bribing the players by offering to buy them toy versions of their characters' gidgets (merchandise for this stuff is huge in Japan, I think /toy/ is pretty up on it. They never materialized, anyway).

The motherfucking DeadLiner (the grim reaper's ride, basically) pulls up on the roof. We go up to see what's up. The grim reaper, who looks suspiciously like the DMPC, informs my other character (not Punch Hopper, the other one) that he has been paradox-retconned out of existence. "Rocks fall, you don't exist." At this point, one of the other players, who is generally an easygoing guy, speaks up: his character is Zeronos, whose in-universe job it is to prevent this from happening. As in, this is the entire function of Zeronos, in actual Rider series canon.

"Rocks fall, you don't exist."

>> No.28891913

She's little. She doesn't speak pseudo-Greek.

>> No.28891940

>single-digit-age children (who he was trusted to babysit by her) attractive.
That's just horrifying. I've seen some shit, but that's just awe-inspiringly terrible.

>> No.28891958

Maybe it's just me but that image seems like it would be a hot story.

>> No.28891965

In the Roman empire, the average tax under the Caesars was around 5%. The known world was conquered with a 5% tax rate.

Interestingly there was a whore tax collected annually for the value of one trick.

>> No.28891988

It's an edit. I would read that, and maybe jerk a few out, but I still find shit like that GM in this story utterly horrifying.

>> No.28892009

I think his experience is a lot of doujins

>> No.28892038


>> No.28892115


>> No.28892116

Now this guy is a pretty easygoing dude. He features pretty heavily so we're going to give him a name. I'm going to call him Mr Ehud, after Judges 3:16-23. Mr Ehud can only take so much shit before he loses his temper and becomes the best kind of RP troll, and his tolerance is much lower when a friend is getting shit on. He tells the DM that if the DM does this, then he will take his time-travelling train - which is a required part of Zeronos' job - and paradox all of the villains out of existence long before they become threats.

The DM relents, on the following conditions: my other character (let's call him Lemmy from now on, although he doesn't feature heavily after this) has to hang out on the Deadliner while they go back in time and save him, and only volunteers may go.
There are three, plus the chick with the E-Cups (but only so the player can keep getting sex).

They go back and get their saving on, while my character (affectionately, by the other characters, referred to as "the pornomancer", as he tended to use his incredible charisma and androgynous looks to his advantage with NPCs) seduces death because he has nothing better to do.

The characters who went back in time get their fight on - the creature, you see, has possessed Lemmy's sort-of-brother's father. Context: they were basically raised together, but not by blood. The sort-of-brother actually has his dead sister's spirit lurking inside him (this is how he, as a single person, can be Kamen Rider W, which is meant to need two people). Both of them are attracted to Lemmy, and when the male one is asleep, the female one is awake - and their body changes, too. Lemmy has been sleeping with the female one. When their father found out, he contracted with a critter to go back in time and rub Lemmy out.

Yeah. Because that's the sort of thing that happens when you find out your daughter's childhood best friend is romancing them.

>> No.28892136

Thanks man.
Enjoyed that.

>> No.28892161

And 3rd World internet. If you can get a connection.

>> No.28892189

I'll be honest, I'm not following the story anymore and I'm lost.

>> No.28892212

Were it that we all had such blessed ignorance.

>> No.28892267

There isn't much to tell. Mostly just obnoxious continuity jumping fanwanking fuckery. On all sides. All though OP's transgressions are fairly minor compared to the ridiculous horse shit everyone else is pulling.

>> No.28892275

I am a bad person... I laughed at both of these

>> No.28892284

I've jumped a bit back and forth, however, this is as coherent as it gets. It was ALREADY a trainwreck at this point, and I'm also leaving out incidental bullshit in favor of actively awful things (or setup for them).

Lemmy's brother moves in for the finishing blow. The critter (it's called an "Imagain") abandons ship at the last second. Brother kills his own father. No save.

But hey, at least my other character is alive.

Now, while this was going on, my primary character finally suffered the drawback of not feeling pain and operating her body beyond the limits your brain normally lets you, and had a system-wide body breakdown. Test results: you have a couple of months. (This was my idea, by the way, and I've always enjoyed that it happened.) She gets offered a devil's bargain by her leader - unknown to her, they are currently sleeping with Decade, which is why Decade has been named leader (because they've been fucking like bunnies privately, whereas I don't put out that easily). That is, "you can become a robot" - like classic riders, which were robots made by the villains who went good.
Not seeing much choice, I agree. I don't like what I'm forced into, but I roll with it, and even manage to change some things around that I like about it. I do *tell him* that I don't like it but that I'm perfectly willing to roll with it.

This is the point where I'm kicked out for disrespect.

And this is only my half of the story. The other half is even worse.

>> No.28892360

>"Nah, not my cup of tea, but I'll roll with it"

>> No.28892405

Quickly man, we're autosagin'

>> No.28892410

You are welcome.

I wrote an advancement report for my apparently beyond /d/ project,if anyone cares.

>> No.28892448

My old GM was this.
Storytime synopsis of last campaign:
>everyone starts as level 1 Commoners
>not a bad practice- we start as normal people, become heroic.
>other DM used it for character building
>this one uses it to screw with people
>we're fighting CR 5 things when we're commoner level 2
>GM and I are friends, have been for a while
>he decides his DMPC is a preteen girl godchild that loves my paladin because he's good
>gives my character a mental illness obsession with her because I got hit and "RIFTS mental disorders build character!"
>other guy is not friends with GM
>his character is picked apart and fucked mercilessly
>commoner level 5 (last commoner level)
>come up against hero level 5 gnolls
>entire party is killed
>DMPC saves me by kissing me and making a "prayer to Diablo"
>everyone has to have a one-on-one session with him to talk to Imperius and everyone needs to talk to him "correctly."
>not-friend didn't "RP right"
>his character(s) are killed for this
>I "RP right"
>I get artifact weapons at hero level 2
>everyone gets "fate points"
>each character is easily one-hit killed
>if you dare to play a spellcaster the spell resistance is 50
>end of campaign: I have a godchild oracle that is "sexy as fuck" as my enteral soulmate (also she's the daughter of Imperius because FUCK YOU NOT-FRIEND)
>not-friend is on his fifth character and gets nothing

>> No.28892452

I got fired that way. The manager came in and 'borrowed' the kitchen to make salsa for a managerial party/training session. He chopped onions on the pizza board (which was not a cutting board). Immediately afterwards, he told me to clean it, and I said, "Okay." and immediately started washing it.

I got canned that same day, and that was his major reason why.

>> No.28892473

Make a new thread if need be! I can only type so fast!

Actually, I should reiterate. One more thing tried to happen before I got kicked out: after the operation, taking advantage of the fact that my character now had sensation, one of the villain's ninja maids, a chameleon monster, came to her in the shape of her leader and tried to have sex with her, which was refused in and out of character.

Anyway, moving on: the group gets back to the future with saved people in tow. Cool. At which point the Deadliner shows up again and the grim reaper starts trashing people. She is the mindcontrolled fuckslave of another player's DMPC (yes. Players with DMPCs.). And with one look and one word, he turns one of the PCs into the same. No save. No prior consent, no ask OOC, not even privately. Just bam.

Hypnotized fuckslave.

Oh, and guess who he picked?

The character of the guy who was stuck playing Teh Rei in the first story.
The guy who would never have the spine to reject it, especially since I was fulfilling that function for him and they were busy making sure I couldn't speak to him and telling him that I was a horrible person.

Note that no rolls were made for this combat, nor had rolls been made in any combat sessions in months.

Mr Ehud's character, who is now using Diend, goes Invisible and sneaks aboard the Deadliner to get her back. For no reason, our new enemy (who is Lelouch, but without any of Lelouch's charm), detects a completely invisible target. In response, Mr Ehud goes loud and rolls a natural 20 for critical hit.

DM says "no damage". Mr Ehud's character is broken and loses an eye.

The other characters, namely the characters involved in the mind controlled character's love triangle, go fucking hard at this point, finally crashing the ritual wedding and defeating the guy. And at the last second, everyone screams out that they shouldn't kill him, because that would be bad.

They kill him.

>> No.28892532

>sexy as fuck
I sure hope some time passed during the campaign

>> No.28892544

Note that I'm rushing to avoid falling off the board so I've skipped over stuff like this villain attempting to coerce his new PC fuckslave into onscreen sex.

So they get back. Arc where the characters lose all their powers and come under review as criminals ensues. A much loved NPC instead commits rape on a loli onscreen. That loli gets all his amazing swag in return. And so on, and so on. DM bribes players with art of their characters which is actually recycled art off his DA account, and so forth. Lots of external bitching to anyone who will listen about how awful I am for complaining about their shit.

At this point, Mr Ehud has had enough. He goes on /tg/ and posts a thread about it. The "Tech Up (or Tuck Out)" meme is born. When the other players begin raging about how awful I am, Mr Ehud goes "actually, it was me" and trololols out. The game falls into a deathspiral of bullshit and ERP and dies. /tg/ rips into the DM so hard that he's forced to change his trip entirely.

He still goes on /tg/ though.

His handle is deculture, and he runs Magical Girl Noir Quest.

>> No.28892579

You know the answer to that is no.

>> No.28892580

>His handle is deculture, and he runs Magical Girl Noir Quest
No wonder you were reluctant, his fanbase would rip you apart. Good thing this is in autosage.

>> No.28892630

I'm kind of sad it is. I don't go on /tg/ enough to give a shit about people being mad, and the word should really get out there.

Internet detectives and all that.

>> No.28892657

Well, Imma screencap it. Won't be quick enough to post in this thread, probably, but it WILL get out.

>> No.28892664

I'll never understand those guys. I STILL remember threads to the effect of "what the shit get this crap off the board" and having a legion of faggots crawl out of the woodwork

>> No.28892688

Thank you very much.
I tried to archive it but suptg doesn't grab threads in autosage.

>> No.28892771

Is that shit still going?

A lot of these quest threads are shit, but those ones are REALLY bad from what I hear.

>> No.28892787

I don't get it. You got fired for doing what your boss told you to do?

>> No.28892808

It's currently the most popular, and longest-running still-active Quest on /tg/.

>> No.28892853

Jesus Christ.

>> No.28892969

Oh good lord I forgot the best part. After he was called on the fact that we'd gone from what was allegedly a Kamen Rider game to what was a lowbrow Maid game with even more ERP content, the DM defended himself with:

>I wanted to make it about teenage relationships, with lots of underage sex and polygamy and stuffs!

- not that he mentioned this at any point during setup.

>> No.28893097

>I wanted to make it about teenage relationships, with lots of underage sex and polygamy and stuffs!
Did you recommend him a good psychologist?

>> No.28893123

>I wanted to make it about teenage relationships, with lots of underage sex and polygamy and stuffs!

>> No.28893150

You guys didn't even fight any cool monsters... Like hip hop orphenoch...

>> No.28893170


no but quest threads are good for the board. they uh. they help gm's practice, yeah. thats it. no they cant practice in actual games they need 50 threads of anime fanfiction.

before i filtered "quest" i went into some awful harry potter/fsn crossover and just linked the fanfiction.net page for harry potter/fsn crossovers. they called it "bait" because all questposters are shitposters.

>> No.28893188

The fact that we did very little rider stuff was a fairly big point of contention.

There was one Rider Kick in the entire campaign, and it was when the PC that was hypnotized was hypnotized. And Rider Kicked her lover through the roof.

>> No.28893201

I've got to remember to block quests again. for some reason my browser won't filter them anymore. It's like my computer hates me.

>> No.28893227

My other problem with this whole story is that there is so much cool rider shit to crib and adapt but this is the poorest most bare bones horse shit imaginable. THERE WAS A SOMMELIER RIDER! There's no excuse for this level of unoriginality. My Jimmies are ultra rustled. And I don't even have a picture...

>> No.28893246


I didn't get it either.

>> No.28893267

What the fuck.

>> No.28893334

Teh Rei's IC subject/lover here. The Rider Kick in question was actually me putting the guy who MCed her through the pavement after being shouted at OOC to not finish him off. Turns out Bad Lelouch was supposed to be Persona 2's Tatsuya Inoue the whole time and we were "supposed" to redeem his ass and preserve cameo continuity. Fuck that.

I'm not sure the fact that this campaign predated Fourze was a curse or a blessing, tbh. Rolled up a Nadeshiko for another group, shit's cash with possible [Biorider/Alex Mack intensifies] dividends.

>> No.28893393

You coulda been a proud MEMBER OF THE WOLFEN RACE! You could have been Pro wrestling hero rider! You coulda been blatantly stereotypical Texas Mack rider! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING! and you squandered it. I'm ashamed... *Whispers* you could have been a oni.

>> No.28893419


>> No.28893456

Fate stay night I would assume. Another thing that is cool that is ruined by awful people who don't like fun.

>> No.28893490

Nasu fandom is the literal worst fandom.

>> No.28893509 [SPOILER] 

Fate/Stay Night, the cancer that kills reasonable anime powerlevels. Like a mollusk.

I could've been a lot of things. But unfortunate monster phenotype homogeny aside, I don't think there's much that tops styling on the whole gang of metafags with pic related.

>> No.28893548

> "Tech Up (or Tuck Out)"
What does that even mean? Google only gives two results. One of them is a page of pics from some Kamen Rider video game, which links to http://archive.foolz.us/m/thread/6225108 the other is http://ridealonecomplex.pbworks.com/w/page/38743384/Week%2003%20-%20Part%20A

Are either of those things related?

>> No.28893603

...You coulda been JBL the Wolfen Kamen Rider... There is nothing better then that. I mean... Seriously. My main problem here is that everyone is like... I want to use this! instead of just coming up with their own shit. Cuz it's super easy! Except for you and OP Banchou chick. You guys had the right idea. Kinda.

>> No.28893627

Both are, in fact. RAC was a dumb attempt of mine to fast-forward the previous campaign to a future where those of us that got fucked over by the DM's pals got their due. It worked, but for E-Cupfag harping on me constantly to throw storyAnon overboard and/or me suffering a nervous breakdown after turning on him to shut him up.

The quest thread is similarly inspired, and sadly never got anywhere thanks to time zone goofballery.

>> No.28893654

Hey, you guys who are interested in taxes and the history thereof:

Check out Francis Fukuyama's Origins of Political Order.

>> No.28893660

I (storyfag) have an acquired habit of using "tuck" (the short form of "dicktuck") to refer to people reneging on deals or slipping away from trouble. Over time, this became "tuck out".

Somehow, "tech up or tuck out" became a thing, and the thread that I referred to latched on to the first half, spawning a bunch of shops - books retitled to "The 10 Habits of Highly Teched Up People", and so on. I dunno if it ever went anywhere, but I've seen images from it floating around occasionally.

>> No.28893666

I'm actually suprised no one grabbed ZaBee. Since it is the sluttiest of Zecters and will henshin for anyone with a wrist.

>> No.28893806


Oh, hi, Axel_Wildfire. Still trying to make yourself the good guy after...what, two, three years?

It's fun how you don't talk about how you game the broken rules into your favor, or diplomance your way into everything. Oh, and creating broken OCs, and generally declaring yourself 'the best freeform roleplayer ever'. There's also how you deliberate worked against the other players, and even DURING freeform rules, told them that your character always won because you yourself were a 'martial artist' and thus your word was all that was required for you to win.

It's been more than two years already, and you're still bitter? A lot of mistakes were made, but damn, man. You not only rip apart games, but also go after the GMs that you think worked against you. How's ruining Sandwich and Nazca working out for you, huh? Ayn Rand's teachings must be paying off.


If anyone reading this, know that there's always two sides of the story. Ask around Rizon about Axel_Wildfire, and you'll hear a lot of stories.

>> No.28893828

Well. If you want this anon's two cents. That story made all involved look like Shit Heels. ALL OF YOU. Now be on your way. Try and do better by yourself and others in the future. All of you. And stop trying to stir up shit like this is a soap opera or something.

>> No.28893866

I agree with this anon.
The only people that seemed somewhat ok were storyanon and the teh rei betafag.

>> No.28893875

Get a load of this fag.

>> No.28893885

Not that guy, but you're still a pedophile.

>> No.28893896

Much hammy fun was had that night. I've actually been looking for this. Thanks.

>> No.28893910


There were mistakes on all sides. What 'rahab' isn't saying is that there was a lot of attempted compromise. The GM set up rooms for people to try and talk their way into an agreement, and talked to them one to one.

There was lots of miscommunication and mistakes, and soon the game just stopped there. It was Nazca's first game, and we were all sad to see it die like that. But that was...what, 2010? 2011?

People make mistakes, but for fuck's sake, Axel. Even your butthurt shouldn't last this long, not over a game.

>> No.28893912

No time passed.
Even though the setting drug on for five months, three weeks effectively passed.
I said several times, "Dude, this whole 'blatant pedophilia" thing is gross to me."
>"Fine, now she's THIRTEEN, Anon. It's normal now."
"It's not. I'm supposed to be twenty-two based on the random roll you had us do."
>"Well, uh, even though it has never come up before and it has been passively implied to be the opposite of what I'm about to say MEN WITH PRETEEN GIRLS IS NOW NORMAL>"
"Alright. But, I have a Vow of Chastity, one you agreed to."
>"Your new god, Imperius, that you have to worship because I said so said you have to keep his daughter happy and she wants what he wants. Your vow is now meaningless."

Now that I think about it, he tried to railroad me into many sexual situations...
>hurhur railroading sex

>> No.28893920

Story anon bugged the shit out of me too. Just not as much as everyone else. And betafag needs to nut up.

>> No.28893925

Was to >>28893806

>> No.28893966


Shouldn't dragons run the central bank? That way there will be a gold standard, and you know they won't inflate the currency by releasing too much at any one time.

Plus, you can pretty much guarantee they would be an independent agency not directly run by the kingdom's government.

>> No.28893996


Read it. And then, if you want more, go to #musouquest on Rizon and ask about Axel_Wildfire or Terminal. Then ask about Nazca. Not even joking, see what they tell you.


Nice, Luuk and Terminal. Keep on keepin' on.

>> No.28894019

Gonna have to explain who Luuk and Terminal are. I just seriously consider loli child porn.

>> No.28894028

>see what they tell you.

How would that excuse all the loli-sex?

>> No.28894038

I don't want to read it. I don't want more. You are all awful. And this is awful. Go away. Learn Kamen Rider better. Then come back. Also. Stop with the loli shit. Shit's gross.

>> No.28894048

>I am obviously biased against this person
>Go exactly where I say and ask the opinions of people I have vouched for

... in what world does this make sense as a measure for gathering information?

inb4/samefag accusations

>> No.28894100

The appropriate response to stumbling upon a magical realm is to leave quickly. Not to enter, pretend to be a citizen, then pee on the floor and light the curtains.

And no. I'm not defending the magical pedophile DM, either.
This whole damn thing is a massive trainwreck.

If you're IRC log is anything to go by, that channel is a load of sad bastards.

I've just read a log where are Pedophile and a Nazi square off to fight over the "Moral High Ground". My opinion of everyone involved in this damn story is in the toilet.

>> No.28894106

>ask the opinions of people I have vouched for
Who says that anon vouched for those people?
There's a wide variety of people in an irc channel, if they all dislike him it's probably more than just the anon recommending this being their friend.

>> No.28894122

>reading the pastebin
>"Your apologies are as empty as your heart"

You expect anyone to believe that he wasn't just trolling for the sake of it when he's quoting Symphony of the Night?

>> No.28894155

I'll believe it.
It wouldn't be the shittiest thing to happen here.

>> No.28894158

And another thing. Kamen Rider isn't supposed to be about who's shtupping who. It's supposed to be about strong people who take up terrible burdens to protect the world from a great evil. That's manly as fuck. You guys are not manly as fuck.

>> No.28894194

Is that pastebin OOC? The two of you sound like fucking Naruto characters or something.
><Axel_Wildfire> you're weak.
><Gulping> Everyone is. The difference is how we handle our weakness.
><Axel_Wildfire> if you truly believe that then you'll always be trash.
Dear god. Could you both BE any more melodrammatic?

>> No.28894203

Well, /tg/ is slower at these times of day, it seems.
Feel free to edit this to present your side in a morally acceptable light.

>> No.28894222

Pretty much this. The whole thing was badwrongfun of the HIGHEST caliber from the getgo and there's no real excusing that, but damn, I'll give way more credit to whoever was involved but having a bad time than to the people who actually thought it was a worthwhile venture

>> No.28894223

>It's supposed to be about strong people who take up terrible burdens to protect the world from a great evil.
It's kinda sad how that turn out to be roughly the perfect dipshit lure.

Why cut the screen-cap there?
It looks like the drama is still running.

>> No.28894227

You don't understand the darkness in their hearts! The darkness yearning to break free! To BLOOM ON THE BATTLEFIELD OF LIFE! Anyone who doesn't understand is worthless. As worthless as a out of work baker on skid row!

>> No.28894248

No! That was the point!
I got bored of the conversation so I decided to become a YGO villain. *I* had fun. I dunno about the other guy. As >>28894122 pointed out, I even quoted Symphony of the Night's terrible dub.

Of course >joke's on you I was just pretending

Damn, I should have used that.

Wondrous. Thank you.

>> No.28894249

4000px and 4mb is the filesize limit, right?

>> No.28894279

Oh, neat, my pic got included.

>> No.28894284

>I got bored of the conversation
Is your attention span _really_ that small?
Jesus Christ, I would hate trying to have a serious discussion with you only for you to go full generic anime super villian half a minute in.

>> No.28894294

>I'll give way more credit to whoever was involved but having a bad time than to the people who actually thought it was a worthwhile venture
I won't. As I said before:

>"That Guy" is relative.
>And when the rest of the group are actually walking penises...

If people want to do dumb shit, I'll happily laugh at them. But getting involved in, then trying to ruin the pedo-party?
That's just fucking sad. It's sad because for being as involved as the others. And it's sad for choosing to be thatguy over walking out.

>> No.28894299

Well. At least you'd know you'd never have to have any long conversations with his ass. Which seems like a plus whenever he's involved if this thread is anything to go by.

>> No.28894319

You should always ruin a pedo-party
And execute all involved

>> No.28894323

Or if you are gonna be That Guy go full on Richard Fontaine. At least you'll have a "Good" story to tell /tg/

>> No.28894330

If this thread is still up, I will make a quick "ITT: Gaiden"

>> No.28894333

It is when it's someone I don't like and I know that they're about to come and whine at me, which I knew in advance as I'd been told about it in advance.

But hey, it turned out to be fun after all.

Honestly, where was that conversation going? It wasn't going to be headed towards any form of reconciliation or really anything of merit. I just hope the other guy had fun, but judging by the fact that everyone seems to think I went serious mode, I guess not.

>> No.28894352

All I'm getting from this is that you are a dick who likes to ineptly pick fights with pedophiles. You are quickly souring yourself in my opinion. Don't know about everyone else.

>> No.28894361

Nice trips.

If you act like an idiot, people are going to think you are an idiot. /v/ is a great example of this.
You acted like a dumbass while using a name. That is a very bad idea. You are not anonymous with a name.
Your name also sounds like something a generic anime supervillain would use.

>> No.28894386

Worse. It sounds like someone who thinks Kingdom Hearts is a serious story with Pathos that is to be emulated. Well. When combined with the tale he spun.

>> No.28894387

All true.

>> No.28894395

Honestly in 9/10 situations I'd be on your side of the fence, ruining people's fun is a shitty way to spend your time. But when it's THIS flavor of pathetic internet type? Personally, I make an exception

>> No.28894414

One of the few things I've ever leaned from visiting 4chan:
Doing something ironically is ALWAYS the same as doing it seriously.

If you pretend to have shit taste in music, odds are that you have shit taste in music.
If you pretend to believe in perpetual motion, you probably don't understand nearly as much physics as you thing you do.

If you get involved in a pedophilic RPG abortion, then try and troll the DM by pretending to be a Nazi and quoting NES games, while also pretending to play along with the little girl rape fest. And then you go on /tg/ and expect everyone to leap for your side.
I don't really know.
But you're probably a gigantic douchebag, with far too high an opinion of themselves and northing but "I was just pretending" as a fucking excuse.

Yes, I'm mad.

>> No.28894415

Honestly, I sort of have to agree.
I love letting people do what they want, but this shit would eventually spread and the people involved will only become shittier and shittier, and even more detached from reality.

>> No.28894420

See. WHere I'm from if we run into pedos we call the proper authorities. We don't spend multiple chunks of time playing make believe grab ass with them.

>> No.28894439

>Doing something ironically is ALWAYS the same as doing it seriously.
I would add an almost before that, but you're very correct.

>> No.28894441

No. The correct response it leave.
You can't fix it, all you can do is showcase how broken you are too.

>> No.28894459

No, I never played along with the little girl rapefest. Not even once, nor did I participate in any sex scene - of which my character was only involved in one. Most of the lolisex stuff I didn't actually become aware of until after I was gone, at which point I was utterly revolted.

Which is why I didn't do exactly >>28894420

And we'd slipped so far out of contact by the time I became aware of this that it was well out of my power to do anything about. If you wanna then go ahead.

>> No.28894462

>we call the authorities
Oh come on. There are plenty of people who are attracted to how little girls look who wouldn't do a thing to them. I know a few people like that, and I'm sure they wouldn't do something bad like rape them.
Unless you support making thoughts criminal, in which case you should go fuck yourself.

>> No.28894495

Well. To be fair I would call the cops in this case. I'd most likely go on /tg/ and make a thread telling the story of the major shitbags I just gamed with. Then name some names. And leave.

>> No.28894496

>There are plenty of people who are attracted to how little girls look who...
I did read what came after, but that's still a big NOPE,jpg phrase

>> No.28894516

Er... Would not. Sorry. It's late.

>> No.28894540

Also. A long time ago a man told me this. If you have a fetish you are pretty sure people would look at you funny for having, it's most likely a good idea to keep it to yourself. Forever. You can enjoy it. But you should enjoy it by yourself. Keeps you out of trouble.

>> No.28894542

If you had left, you wouldn't have 8 pages of notes on the sex positions they put the characters through.
You didn't leave, you stayed and played along.

>> No.28894546

I don't really like calling the police at all, but I wouldn't blame you for doing it in this case.
I, personally, would just make sure to never associate with those people ever again in my life.

Well, I don't really want to say anything about my fetishes, but I quite like scat but would _never_ participate in it myself.

>> No.28894582

No, I know people who stayed, played along, and complained about it to me. I got thrown out, remember?

>> No.28894587

>If you have a fetish you are pretty sure people would look at you funny for having,
What fetish wouldn't get you that?

>> No.28894597

But. Getting thrown out means you DID NOT QUIT!

>> No.28894602

This isn't a bad idea, honestly.
I'm not going to be open about my BDSM fetish unless I'm talking to someone I really trust with that kind of shit, but I also wouldn't agree with people ostracizing others because of what they like.
So if someone with a similar fetish got shamed for liking that (though, in this case, I suppose they might find that erotic), I'd try to stand up for them

>> No.28894617

Consensual sex in the missionary position. For purposes of procreation.

Right. But I only became aware of the lolisex etc. after I was thrown out.
Believe me, I would have walked on the spot had I known our DM was a raging pedo.

>> No.28894620

That's kinda my point... Also. Lots of forward thinking people nowadays. Maybe S&M? Haven't really thought about it that hard.

>> No.28894640

>I'd try to stand up for them
I wonder, what density of people who you happen to know have similar fetishes would make it okay to try an, "I am Sparticus," thing?

>> No.28894656

A thing for redheads? (redheads, not gingers)

>> No.28894659

I'm thinking more of a breakfast club type thing where people from different walks of life find out that their fetishes aren't that different after all.

>> No.28894676

That sounds like a great idea for a short story.

>> No.28894684

Nah, I don't know anyone with a similar fetish. Most of my friends are pretty vanilla, though my best friend is into animals. I don't know anyone that would try that, I'm just saying that I would get pissed if someone got angry about someone doing that.
If I was asked, I would tell someone what I was into, and perhaps a similar situation could happen.
>Hey anon, what are some of your fetishes? :3
Oh, I'm into super futa cock and vore!
>Holy shit I hate you fuck you faggot commit seppuku

>> No.28894698

At least something good has come out of this story time gone awry.

>> No.28894704

And for all of you people with lonely hearts and fun experiences in RPGs, I wonder what it wrong with the world today.

>> No.28894718

Conversations like that don't really happen that often outside of the internet fella.>>28894704

>> No.28894726

I know that.
I'm saying if it did happen, m8.

>> No.28894735

Many Bothans died to bring us this information. Good work.

>idea goes in the file
>never touch it again

>> No.28894739

Did ya get the part where I called em all Shitheels? That's my favorite part.

>> No.28894751

"I really like my boyfriend to talk down to me in bed"
"I'm into big boobs, I'm such a pervert"

>> No.28894757

But it won't. Chummer.

>> No.28894761

Of course. Have a good night, all!

>> No.28894767

What makes you think it hasn't already happened, pal?

>> No.28894774

Sometimes I think normalfags are just an illusion we have from hiding in our dens of depravity but then I remember that people this simple actually exist.

>> No.28894784

Those people scare me.

>> No.28894789

Huh. I guess I don't really think of those things as fetishes. They just seem too vanilla. (Unless you mean huge boobs. Like, moon-sized, at least.)

>> No.28894795

I don't. Friend. (Running out of ways to say you are a acquaintance. I may need to ask for a thesaurus for Christmas.)

>> No.28894799

There are some people at my local church that hold hands on a regular basis

>> No.28894802

It's hard to believe there are actually people that vanilla.
I honestly don't get how you develop into a person without any "fucked up" fetishes.
Do you think they just hide it, or are they really that normal?

>> No.28894807

Fucking NORPs.

>> No.28894811

Maybe "kink" for low-tier stuff (like that) and "fetish" for high-tier stuff (scat, vore, etc.).

I bet if there was a rules-light sex /tg/ that's how that shit would be divvied up.

>> No.28894812

those are certainly fetishes. It's why I encourage internet people to have at least one friend who does not internet heavily. It helps with perspective.

>> No.28894819

>"I'm into big boobs, I'm such a pervert"
Fuck this is just like the videogames - nerds people.

>> No.28894826

Alright, buddy.
So am I
It's actually happened to me with a friend.
I told her I found hand holding really hot, and now she won't talk to me anymore.

>> No.28894830

Those are just the 'safe to admit to' type fetishes
The girl might also like to be tied down and collared while the guy likes to pee on those boobs
But you don't bring that out first

>> No.28894844

Try these.

>> No.28894855

So what was the moral of the thread?

>> No.28894862

One more thing about that whole Kamen Rider story. There was no friendship! No Comradery! Even Kamen Rider Ryuki had more Teamwork then you idiots! I'm ashamed. Makes me want to run a Kamen Rider game and do it the right way... But that's for later. For now? Bed. It's already waaaaay past my bedtime.

>> No.28894879

My stepsister tells me everything about her all the time. She is THAT normalfag. She calls herself a nerd for liking mario and her fetish is to have sex on the couch.

That's IT

>> No.28894885

/tg/ is a horrible place and probably always was.
Also, not reporting criminals is tantamount to aiding them.

>> No.28894889

lolis are always bad news in roleplay

>> No.28894890

Idiots are idiots and if you call them out on it they will act like they were just pretending?
Maybe fetishes are things best kept to yourself?
Or perhaps it's that you shouldn't say anything about liking little girls or someone on /tg/ will call the cops on you.

>> No.28894897

Pedophiles are awful. Don't play with them. Also. Don't be complicit and pretend that you were somehow trolling them afterwards. Finally, don't be awful. (P.S. Maybe keep it in your pants and your kinks and fetishes to yourself.) P.P.S Axel_Wildfire is kind of a dumb name.

>> No.28894900

Friend, pal, bud, buddy, chum, mate, ally, compatriot, comrade, associate, amigo, compadre, homeboy, crony.
"Snow Goons are bad news?"

>> No.28894902

Storyfag here.
Call me when you do. You know my handle.

Always look on the bright side of life.

>> No.28894906

>Also, not reporting criminals is tantamount to aiding them.

Wh-what if I'm chaotic good?

>> No.28894909

>She calls herself a nerd for liking mario and her fetish is to have sex on the couch.
That physically hurt me to read. What is wrong with these people?

>> No.28894913

So, to summarize, a nigga moment happened.

>> No.28894916

Hey now! I said I'd publicly shame you! Cops is for real life. Where it's easier to catch you. I'm lazy.

>> No.28894921


>> No.28894936

>I'd publicly shame you
I'm not the faggots in this thread that are into underage females, but I would really like that.

>> No.28894944

>She calls herself a nerd for liking mario

That's normalfag level
Not even dipping a toe into geekdom and way below nerd-level
But I guess that distinction only matters the deeper in you go

>> No.28894964

Maybe later.

>> No.28894980

She's never played mario, she only watched me play it a decade ago

>> No.28894986

>tfw that's my other fetish
A-anon, stop that!

>> No.28895020

I want to defile her now. I feel like if something that pure exists we have to destroy it in the most horrifying way possible. I mean dear god. That's just awful.

>> No.28895040

>She's never played mario
I cannot understand her lifepath

>> No.28895041

Everyone is am niggers. Especially DM. Axels is seems slightly less so but is equally nigger regardless of ironicality. All aer of bad, but active pedo is of to be suppressed much harder. Also is of lesson; when kicked out of shitty loli sex party game, do not be of stupid and tell shitstorm story on /tg/, get back in good graces instead, weasel information free, track down culprit, murder in cold blood. Bury in shallow wood grave with lye amongst squirrel.

>> No.28895043

No she's not pure, she fucks on the couch remember. She got caught a hell of a lot when we were still growing up. She was one of those "one boyfriend a week" girls.

It feels weird to say this about your sister but she was literally a massive slut.

>> No.28895066

Out of curiosity's sake, was she a massive slut with you?

>> No.28895074

Pure was a bad word for it. Still though, it's like hearing about somebody who has an extra arm growing out of her back. I half want to cut it off and half don't believe you that it exists.

>> No.28895080

No, even as a stepsister I didn't have to worry about westermark or whatever since she was just plain ugly and a gross person in general, even on the inside.

>> No.28895091

That's MY fetish.

>thus ncusona

>> No.28895097

I always find it interesting how the ugliest bitches can still mate with more males than I have with females.

>> No.28895108

So did you ever actually see her vagina?

>> No.28895112

Yes actually

>> No.28895119

Oh. I was going to suggest that she was secretly a futa as compensation. Oh well.

>> No.28895301

how did you get all the way through this campaign?

>> No.28895460

No matter how good you think you are, never enter the Magical Ream.
Because you will never truly leave.

>> No.28895501

Like 4chan

>> No.28895514

When did you forget that 4chan is a magical realm?

>> No.28895532

when I started to like it here

>> No.28896127

By playing online, abstracting ourselves from our meatbags and into the realm of pure fantasy.

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