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[ERROR] No.28628911 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

ITT: Things you are no longer allowed to do in your RPG sessions

>> No.28628965

From now on rolling to seduce is not plan A.

>> No.28628994

Fart. Apparently Hitler could have used me to finish off the Jews.

>> No.28628997

One time, the party was stranded in an ancient labyrinth filled to the brim with challenges and puzzles.

The 5 of us were each chained down to a rock floating above lava. The way out was a small hole at the top. Each of us had a single potion on our rock.

1 granted flame breath.
1 granted phasing.
1 granted flight.
1 granted super strength.
1 was poison.

The majority of our party is "big strong guys," while I tend to play "intelligent" characters.

No one made any decisions, so I decided to say fuck it and drank mine. It was poison :P

I'm no longer allowed to let my impatience move the party forward.

>> No.28629027

I'm not allowed to touch Psionics. Unless its PF.

>> No.28629035

i am no longer allowed to take weapon proficiency (volcano)

>> No.28629078


One time in 4e, I hybrided a Warlock with a Psion.

The result was a character who would regenerate psionic points everytime an enemy would get bloodied (half health) or die. Every fight I'd be unleashing constant encounter level powers at-will.

I was banned. :(

>> No.28629145

>my noise marines are no longer allowed to sing-a about the moon-a and the june-a and the spring-a

>> No.28629167

Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Dwarf.


>> No.28629204

anything with a mount. Ever again. Especially 3.5 or PF.

>> No.28629211

Using the divine metamagic feat and/or the tome of battle (3.5)

>> No.28629218

Drinking piss.

>> No.28629226

Backstories over 10 pages long are no longer allowed for me.
Backstories are also not allowed to involve any kind of emotional or psychological trauma that cause the GM to cringe when he reads it.

>> No.28629243

Travel backwards in time. Forwards is apparently fine, but backwards is banned.

>> No.28629264

Jesus I feel boring. I'm just not allowed to play paladins anymore because the other players keep torturing NPCs for information while maintaining "good" alignments, and apparently stopping them makes me "that guy".

>> No.28629274

Rolled 16

What about forwards, and then back to where you started?

>> No.28629276

>Mary sue alert

>> No.28629281

oh ya, that reminds me, not allowed to be a pally and actually pay attention to the rogue. Yaaa, my GM may love interparty conflict but the other players hate it.

>> No.28629299

You cannot say Brazzers more than once an encounter
Yes you have a compound bow and improved unarmed combat, no you cannot shout "you have failed this city" before rolling for an attack
Knowledge Religion won't work just because they don't worship your god and are heretics

>> No.28629310

Nope. Once forward, can't go back on my own. Would need to parlay with the primordial god-like entity governing time that invoked the ban in the first place for permission to return to my own time.

>> No.28629319

I'm very limited on what constitutes an "Improvised Weapon" these days. I've used so much ridiculous bullshit over the years with my current group that it's piled up.

>> No.28629353

Still is useful for going a round or two into the future to avoid some attacks, unless you are about as accurate with time travel as the TARDIS

>> No.28629359

Does your GM also agree with you about the alignments thing?

Because, if so, well, maybe a little collaboration, conspiracy, and intrigue could be in order.

>> No.28629374

It's kind of tough when I see the rogue threatening a shopkeeper to steal his magic goods. The whole "protect the innocent" thing.

>> No.28629388

It varies, for the most part. My luck with the dice is so legendary shitty that the DM devised a unique 'Trait' just for my character.

>> No.28629428

>Cannot take max ranks in Engineering
>Cannot spend the majority of my free time sneaking into the castle at night and subtly undermining the architecture of the building so that right as the group is about to be rewarded for killing the BBEG, a balcony collapses and kills the king.

In my defense, the timing was perfect.

>> No.28629445

Beautiful, just beautiful, gl with the rest of his retinue/kingdom tho

>> No.28629459

Compete in mounted archery competitions at a gallop when I have no idea how to ride a horse.
Feed my giant jelly-hydra-bat-tortoise souls.
Become skeletor.
Smear cheese on security cameras.

>> No.28629474

Use incompetency as excuse for accidental assassination of political leaders during tourneys

>> No.28629482

Not allowed to intentional subvert the boring railroad plot, on pain of character death. This rule was eventually applied to everyone before we'd had as much fun as we could pissing that guy off and then we collectively quit.

>> No.28629485

But.... why?
Tell us MORE!

>> No.28629524

Not allowed to open up a for profit minor magic item and potion shop during down time to make money. No explanation given.

>> No.28629534

This one time my Bard got an entire village singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

Apparently the BBEG was a were-lion.

Imagine our surprise when the mysterious bartender falls asleep in mid high-note

>> No.28629546

I laughed sir, I laughed hard. Had similar problems with dog whistles. Note for future: do not assume that werewolves are friendly just because they aren't attacking at that particular moment

>> No.28629628

>ok you raided the elf caravan
what do u take
i take the female elf as a slave
ok i force her to strip
>she pulls a small blade from her person and splits her throat
meh she is still warm
i take the dead elf women
>you cant do that
why not
>just because
nothing in the rule book that says i cant carry around a dead elf
>fine i dont care anymore
>writing one naked dead elf in inventory space
>never meet another female elf

i told you i didn't want to play an all barbarian campaign built around your shitty npc player character
fuck you Gm pc
fuck your gm railroad
and fuck your shitty fetish about half naked or in some cases full on naked muscle bound men come out of the closet you fucking faggot

>> No.28629648

Not allowed to refer to my profession as something other than my character's class in character, because it confuses the DM.

>> No.28629703

You sound just as shitty if not shittier than you GM.

>> No.28629704

>that face when you can't play Dengar Tarsus, Treasure Hunter Extraordinaire (Fighter)

On another note, I have made it my own rule to never actually invite my friends to a game since I know some of the worst people to play with.

>> No.28629722

awww, sad, you've lost your faith in humanity.
I've been getting my friends into RPGing since early high school. Got all my highschool friends into it and have already done it with friends I made in college. Playing with friends is fun!

>> No.28629738


This formatting is completely terrible. Even for 4chan.

>> No.28629749

Carry liquid explosives and syringes on me at the same time.

>> No.28629754

also nice when you start gaming with people who then become your friends.

bit of a crapshoot though.

>> No.28629761

Welp, I know what I'm doing next week.

>> No.28629769

My friends were expecting something like Monty Python and they were all playing the opposite side of the alignment spectrum than I was. I guess that's what I get for making a character first and gathering a group second.

>> No.28629782

yaaaa, that's suicidal. As the experienced gamer I've gotten very used to just playing what needs playing to fill gaps in a party

>> No.28629784

o im sorry i just hate it when every session is about the gm npc always saving the day one hitting lv 20 + monsters when we all are level 5
last time i checked that was bullshit gaming no wonder he got kicked out of his other groups
>he is a good player but one of the worst gm i have ever had who gets butthurt if you call him on any of his bullshit

>> No.28629803

I never said your GM wasn't shit. Just that your passive-aggressive attitude was also shit.

Should've just kicked him out or stopped playing his campaign instead.

>> No.28629807

It was my first ever game T-T

>> No.28629809

And shooting the injected sweet spot with a hot piece of lead will shoot that troll bastard into the infinity.

>> No.28629815

Orchestrate a TPK.

>> No.28629818

Become totally unkillable.

>> No.28629821

>Know the rules better than the GM.
>Point it out.

I don't even mind houserules, I just can't tell if it's a houserule or a mistake sometimes.

>> No.28629824

Ad lib my roleplaying by pulling suggestions from a hat.

>> No.28629833

So don't get me wrong your GM sounds like a complete faggot, but you also sound like you might need to get the dick out of your mouth long enough to learn how to talk.

>> No.28629852

Your grammar and spelling skills are atrocious. The GM may have been terrible, but you're not making yourself look any better.

>> No.28629862

- Be a mage
- Use a prestige class that allows me to heal when hit with Negative Energy spells
- Cast a DOT spell on myself and use a feat that makes it do Negative Energy damage instead of the normal damage
- Fear nothing the whole fight

One I learned from a player of mine:
- Be an Incubus (Savage Species)
- Take Vow of Poverty (Book of Exalted Deeds)
- Take 2 levels of Pathfinder Paladin (at level 2, you add your charisma bonus to all your saves. He has a charisma in the 30s. And he gets smite.)
Never again will I allow this.

>> No.28629896

This reminds me: Never allowed to use 3.5 splat books in Pathfinder, for any reason. No, not even to crib a single feat.

>> No.28629925

I'm not allowed to speak to plot-important characters anymore.

>> No.28629932

This one was pretty obvious.

>> No.28630038

No longer allowed to recreate the TARDIS using rules from Spelljammer and epic level magic.

>> No.28630058

being forced to refer to your rogue as a rogue... I can't even imagine.

>> No.28630144

I'm no longer allowed to use Dragons in my nWoD games as an ST.

>> No.28630240

how ridiculously high-level did your game get to include Dragons in nWoD

>> No.28630244

I'm not allowed to name anything. Our GM tries to build emotional attachment to certain NPCs by giving in universe reasons for the party to nickname them (mortal tongues cannot pronounce them, true name is a secret, etc). I jokingly like to name superpowerful characters simplistic common names and the group gets a kick out of it. But fter Roy the green dragon, Bill the Lich and Bob the carbunkle, the GM asked the rest of them to be creative and told me that the rocks above my head looked loose. I took the hint.

>> No.28630258

I'm not allowed to take over organizations and/or nations anymore, even if it makes sense.

Apparently taking over a decadent and inefficient court, using all of their money to reform, train and outfit the army with better equipment, fortify and garrison every single settlement and use spare change to research new kinds of weapons in preparation of the undead demon invasion is not as "fun" or "epic" as our party defeating the entire army and it's leader on our own.

How silly of me, thinking that fundamentally changing a part of the world isn't as immersive and exciting as taking away a monster's hitpoints before he takes away mine.

>> No.28630295

Nobody is allowed to quote the LotR movies at my table. More specifically, however, you aren't allowed to say "po tate os? boil em mash em stick em in a stew!" or "what do your elf eyes see?"

>> No.28630300

Sounds like you were so immersed in your triumph you missed how boring that would have been for everyone else.

>> No.28630346


Just to clarify, was it a Mary Sue, or was it a back story so dark that the character could've fit into Berserk with little to no problems?

>> No.28630354

Not allowed to play a character who was castrated in his backstory for any reason.

>> No.28630357

I'm not allowed to get the group back on topic by saying "Baby Rape"

No longer allowed to build monsters/enemies for the DM

>> No.28630370


>> No.28630408

Life's shown me that apparently one rule applies to me:
>Not allowed to have RPG sessions.


>> No.28630440

A Circle of the Crone thought he could elude any in-game punishments for Diablerie by travelling to other cities and Diablerizing vampires mid-flight on airplanes. What he didn't expect in his well written, well executed, well thought out plan which had far more contingencies than I've outlined here, is that the vampire he munched was in thrall to a Gentry. So when the changeling loyalist showed up in his haven, opened the closet door, and escorted him to the Hedge, he was quite surprised to meet Dzarumazh; a Fae Dragon with a slug of cold iron stuck in his chest so bad ass he's still kicking as described in Grim Horrors. He was more surprised to learn the Dragon considered the Kindred had wronged him and promised to use its not inconsiderable power on both sides of the hedge to ruin him unless the Elder Crone provided him with renumeration which included his only female childe who was the maiden of the crone circle.(because a dragon needs his princess)

What followed was multiple thrilling weeks of the entire Domain trying to squirm their way out of it.

Things got worse when he succeeded and the Dragon in a fit of anger "gifted" him by lifting his multi-thousand year fog of ages...

Which made him remember he was the father of the En...

And responsible for VII from the fallen city of Gamora...

And drew the attention of the forgotten Father of Monsters, master of the Strix, who commanded his "son" to lead the Crone in holy war to purge The Mother of Monsters from their own ranks...

Really it was the gift that kept on giving.

>> No.28630445

>Not allowed to insert my orb fetish into the game.

Just kidding, I got away with it.

>> No.28630477

Hahaha. Care to give us his full plan, or even better, storytime the whole escapade?

>> No.28630486

I can no longer buy feather tokens after I killed a BBEG by flying above, and dropping a swan boat on him.

>> No.28630497

My party members all agreed this was the best course of action and backed me up. We succeeded together, and I rewarded them well.
(Made the Fighter into commander of an entire legion, which gave him more roleplaying options.)

The GM was the only one against it. He allowed it because we all wanted it, but he told me that if I do it again, he'll kick me out. Maybe he's not an off-the-rails person.

>> No.28630512

I am no longer allowed to use magic to modify existing creatures into fiercely loyal,rapidly breeding, idiotic slave races, armies, or cannon fodder.

>> No.28630557

No longer allowed to use my wizard to slowly convert a setting's wildlife into pokemon.

>> No.28630566

Not allowed to play a character that can ever get time magic powers.

GM got pissed when I used string theory to undo the creation of the gods using divine time travel using the excuse of the gods being all evil for manipulating people.

>> No.28630570

Aren't these basically the same thing?

>> No.28630615

I don't recall his specific plan, but after the Dragon made his ultimatum the Loyalist stuck around as a guest of the Domain to ensure the deal was done. (A PC) the Domain had a coterie of supposed occultists trying to play super friends. (A Crone, a Lance, a Dragon, and an interested Invictus) Unfortunately for them I'm a master of the vague prophetic vision, so they would use magic to try and force answers, but they wouldn't get the same plot each time someone looked because they were all tied.

The Sanctified got the proper Changeling plot: in order for the Dragon to remove the iron from his chest, he had to have it removed by a dead innocent whom had never killed.

The Ordo got the Crone Plot by focusing his research on an Owl Pendant worn by a "not-kindred" who extended his unnatural life by cannibalizing ghouls instead of feeding from mortals. He was a member of the Montrose party who purposely led the Kindred into a slaughter by the Sta-Atu because...

The Father of Monsters and Mother of Monsters, in ages long forgotten, had a conflict in which The Mother banished the Father to the Underworld where he became a potent Kerberoi. The Father, as he was banished, hobbled The Mother by tearing off her foot so she was bound to Earth unable to travel the worlds beyond. She got crazier and crazier (the Mother as in The Mother's Army), and The Father sat helpless until...

The Crone got the VII plot and it was discovered when the Elder got his memory back that the Strix were seven demons in the form of owls summoned by the Persian En that caused a meta-magical collapse. It utterly destroyed their priesthood and drove the En into hiding because the Iltani swore vengeance...

Because the Owls were bound to Kindred, The Father was able to reach out to them through the Underworld into an in-between realm called the Land of Worms. He sent the Strix to scourge Kindred who refused to enact his will until such time as he could be freed.

>> No.28630679

As a DM I am no longer allowed to dump the near-epic party in the Hoenn region, even if it makes sense.

>> No.28630702

When the Father was unbound he reached out and contacted the oldest member of the Domain, an Elder Ventrue of the Invictus and invested in him his sword and rod of office. It was a card, and all it said was "If you use this, come see me."

The Elder wisely gave the staff to the coterie, (The sword he kept for himself) who got to studying it, and reasoned out it was the staff of Seth. Yes, that Seth. They weren't quite sure what the staff did, but they knew as Mommy and Daddy were now fighting it caused the spirit world - which vampires are not built for - to overflow, attracting the attention of very pissed off Pure who didn't like their territories going to shit.

The seneschal made a power play by conspiring with the Pure for Praxis while the Domain was besieged by Spirits of Sin aligning themselves to The Father while The Mother summoned her children to the city en masse.

...It was discovered these spirits were the avatars of the seven spirits of sin werewolves know as the Maelijin, and that they had possessed a Forsaken (a werewolf PC who had to drop game) to use as their Herald. When the Pure demanded it be executed the Seneschal foolishly agreed and upon her death The Dreadwolf - Avatar of Thurifuge Architect of Violence - attacked the gathering. If not for the Lancea Sanctum with the ancient Roman exorcism rituals they'd have been fucked.
It helped the true Prince arrived to save the city and sacrificed a dot of willpower to enact the enchantment on The Father's Sword, which stopped time for five rounds.

>> No.28630751


Already long story short the Crone cleaned up their own mess by convincing the entire covenant to enter the underworld where they would war for all time - Mother versus Father by proxy - the Maelijin were defeated, the Pure sent packing, and with the Domain in shambles they discovered too late that this massive arcane battle had drawn the Urbiphage to their city and it was about to purge them all.

The player whom had started this all with the Dragon invoked the Staff of Seth and time was reset. To the ancient world. The Kindred who survived were now strangers out of time - mostly insane - or powerful Elders who would now form the synthesis of the legendary figures of Kindred lore. The rest were wiped from history entirely.

The moral of the story: do not play with dark powers you do not understand.

>> No.28630761

I do recall an entire subset of the VII plot was dropped because one player threw a bitch fit about the revealation he had been a multi century sleeper agent awaiting the "go code", which was unfortunate because he was the other En and he was supposed to destroy his competitor Diablerist.

>> No.28630783

Play lawful good police-type characters with the regular group of tabletop players. They all play chaotic stupid and when I try to tell them to knock it off in-character, they call me a killjoy. I ended up calling in an air strike from a helicarrier in an attempt to turn them into bloody smears after they had ransacked a peaceful town and set fire to an abortion clinic because they thought it was funny. Things didn't go well after that.

>> No.28630836

I'd start looking for a new DM. I don't know what your situation is, or how good this guy is, and he sounded like he was a good sport about it, but if he's going to be that way about things he doesn't like, I don't see much of a point in continuing to play with him.

>Yeah, that was a really cool session guys, great work.
>Now we're never doing that again because I said so, and if you don't like it, piss off.

>> No.28630852

Had this happen recently in Pathfinder with the GM having one of his enemies wreck our shit (CR4 with CR2 minions vs. 4 lv 2 characters) and when we barely turned the tides on him, the enemy tried to jump through 4 of our occupied spaces while using acrobatics to not take any AoOs, he only rolled one acrobatics and said he passed all of them.

Needless to say I called him out on his bullshit, especially since 2 of those spaces were taken up by a enlarged character with high DEX and STR.

>> No.28630854

No longer allowed to be an only-elf party.

>> No.28631402

>implying I've ever been able to get away with anything before the gm decides to make the gmpc's randomly comeover and smack me for even thinking about doing anything potentially bad.

>> No.28631452

Dude, it's a table-top game, the rules are flexible. It is possible and acceptable to condense rolls, or just drop certain rolls. Why waste the time rolling 4 different acrobatics rolls when you only need to roll against the BEST PC? Obviously he only made one jump/summersault/leap across the room. If the most accurate person couldn't hit him, why would the less accurate ones hit?

Why roll an acrobatics check to determine an AC modifier to apply to your NPC, and then have all the PCs roll individual "to hit" rolls? Oh, don't forget to take reflex saves, too, because anticipating that someone is going to JUMP THE FUCK OVER YOU in mid-combat, and being able to react quickly and effectively would be pretty tough. Go ahead and convert the individual reflex saves into hit-modifiers, too.

So, here we go, awesome, 20ish rolls for ONE action by ONE character during a round of combat. Yeah, that sounds like a fun game to me.

>> No.28631605

Someone explain this

A psion regenerating the points is like wizard regaining his use of spells. It don't sit right with me

>> No.28631719

My roguey guy is no longer allowed to use his retardedly high charisma and charisma relates shit to convince other PCs to give him all their stuff.

Because I did that a lot.

The other players usually thought it was hilarious. Especially when the party tank decided to charge an orc warlord after having forgotten he gave me his sword earlier to sell for jellybeans. He ended up just punching it right in the left nipple. Which surprised and stunned it long enough for the ranger to get a lucky headshot.

The GM, however, hates me.

>> No.28631868

>I ruined the group with shit that doesn't actually make sense

I think your group read too much 8 bit Theatre

>> No.28631884

>My roguey guy is no longer allowed to use his retardedly high charisma and charisma relates shit to convince other PCs to give him all their stuff.
Any one of my characters would skin you alive on the first attempt for that.

>> No.28631890

>you just made up a bunch of shit to make it sound more complicated than it is

4 spaces. 4 rolls. Easy as pie. If he fails one of them, back to the beginning and he doesn't escape.
I don't personally like it when the DM removes rules only so long as they make it easier for his NPCs to run away scot free.

>> No.28631904

Well your first mistake was playing Pathfinder

>> No.28631913

>only needs to make 1 roll because its 1 magical jump across 20 feet

He was moving around a corner, and we're talking 20ft. I'm okay for throwing away rolls when they arent required, but there should be a reason why 4 people crowding your exit is worse than just 1 person.

>> No.28631933

This doesn't even make sense in most systems without some sort of charm magic. What would you possible say to make someone give you their weapon in exchange for little to nothing?

>> No.28631975

retardation of "that guy" degree

it's taken hold of the entire party

>> No.28631982

"Excuse me sir, may I hold that for a moment?"

>> No.28631987

That's a change from what I'm used to. Typically we have a group of mostly not-so-murder hobos who murder never attack unless attacked first, and we always get some Chaotic Neutral or Evil rogue who tries to sleight of hand steal all our shit, and then murder people we meet
because they "might have good stuff"

>> No.28631989

>stabs his sword through your throat
You make an excellent sword-rack

>> No.28632061

I am no longer allowed to find quest hooks after an unfortunate flint and tender incident,,

>> No.28632429

>I am no longer allowed to use thermodynamics to clear dungeons

>> No.28633468

>When asked to provide a backstory for my Solar, I am required to do more than play "Princes of the Universe" at max volume
>When asked to provide background music via Performance charms, I am required to have more in my playlist than Queen and the Power Rangers theme songs
>Not allowed to name characters or legendary equipment after 1980s pop culture phenomena
>The vocal component for slow-mo and time-stopping spells is not "Za Warudo!"
>Not allowed to pour caustic and alkaline chemicals onto the enemy for the sake of "Dropping the base"
>Not allowed to crush the enemy with lots of fish for the sake of "Dropping the bass"
>Not allowed to buy out every single subwoofer in town just to say "All your bass are belong to us"

>> No.28633548

Use Tensers Floating Disk. Saved party from TPK and gm ruled it out from then on.

>> No.28633562

I am no longer allowed to let my characters have more nervous breakdowns than Shinji Ikari.

>> No.28633573

Give speeches, for some reason revolution or regime change always happen after my character give speeches.

>> No.28633643

I'm no longer allowed to play an Ewok in any Star wars rpgs

>> No.28633680

>>The vocal component for slow-mo and time-stopping spells is not "Za Warudo!"

As expected, the second mark of the faggot

>> No.28633703

Your GM is a dick.

>> No.28633807

I'm not longer allowed to be a player
Or to have fun being GMLife is suffering

>> No.28633881

>- Use a prestige class that allows me to heal when hit with Negative Energy spells
>- Cast a DOT spell on myself and use a feat that makes it do Negative Energy damage instead of the normal damage

What class and feat combo is that?

>> No.28633888

>Diplomacy against PC's
Does anyone actually allow that?

>> No.28633900

I don't. Nor should any DM imo.

>> No.28633916

>Rogue with charisma
>Not making your charisma rolls with intelligence
It's like you don't even want skills

>> No.28633959

>No longer allowed to name NPCs the GM hasn't named yet (sorry Ducklette Humperdink and Sir Not-A-Dragon)
>No longer allowed to name cities the GM hasn't named yet (sorry dwarven city of Hammertime and island colony of Boobala Jones)
>No longer allowed to make up backstories for NPCs if the GM hasn't given us one (sorry twin dragons who shape shift into a cat to have sex with their pet cat and bachelor prince who is secretly Bat-Man)
>No longer allowed to give nicknames to other player characters (sorry Spider Blowjobs)

>> No.28633978


more skills than you can dream of

>> No.28634012

To be rich, to be an artificer of any kind, to have firearms, to play future settings, to have any kind of evil alignment or tendencies, or to be an Yuan-Ti.

>> No.28634089

I'm only allowed to pay Lawful Evil in D&D.

>> No.28634119


>all my characters are Chaotic Evil ;)

>> No.28634179

>Sign of poor roleplaying
>A GM should ever allow persuasion/fast talk/ect to be used on another PC

>> No.28634209

But /tg/ believes that the PCs are special snowflake immune to persuasion, intimidation, seduction and everything else ever. Specially is comes from another PC.

>> No.28634215

>Sign of poor playing
>Letting another character beat you in skill checks

git gud scurb

>> No.28634225

Not me, but a friend is no longer allowed to take bikes in our local killteam.

(Heralds of ruin rules)

>> No.28634324

I'm not allowed to cast sleep in myself to sleep faster and ignore the rest of my party.
I'm not allowed to cast prestidigitation to become specialized housemaid and break the economy.
I'm not allowed to cast light in my party's armor and make them glowing for hours.
I'm not allowed to cast mend to try and fix erosion.
I'm not allowed to use my familiars as a drug dealing mules.
I'm not allowed to set every place we will no longer visit on fire.
I'm not allowed to use tenser's floating disc as skates.

>> No.28634355

Pilot any ship bigger than a snub fighter in a Star Wars setting.

Every time I have killed main characters at a very low level by ramming them.

A level 5 astromech should NOT be able to kill Darth Vader.

>> No.28634382

I am not allowed to convince bandits to work for me. Ever. The last time I did, I ended up taking control of all trade in the region.

>> No.28634397

Your GM sounds like a boring guy if he doesn't allow that stuff

>> No.28634421

Allowed to play a Protocol droid who fights by talking enemies into unconsciousness. It made everyone else feel useless in combat. And tended to knock out them as well.

>> No.28634424

>I'm not allowed to use tenser's floating disc as skates.
For what purpose

>> No.28634425

I can no longer into Diplomacy-based characters.

That was my own decision, even if my group was too nice to say it wasn't fun anymore.

>> No.28634436

What skill would that fall under, diplomacy?

>> No.28634442

Am no longer allowed to turn my Ranger into a living gattling gun.

Especially when it makes me so inaccurate that I do more damage to my party than the enemy did.

>> No.28634450

The fighter and me are no longer allowed to compare our weapons with our genitals and than laugh at the wizard. Also hitting on the elf chick 24/7 is apparently a no go. Finally no more "SHOW ME YOUR HONOR" jokes around the paladin.

>> No.28634506

This could actually make for a good thread topic.

How do you grant a player OOC-advantages to his roleplayed persuasion? My <skill> +16 character should have absolutely no problem convincing your 6 Wis orc to go first. Instead I have to convince you...

>> No.28634516

I am no longer allowed to "explore the town" without at least one party member to keep me from completely derailing the plot.

Honestly, when your character is a Trandosian Slaver on Tatooine, it's completely understandable to start capturing people and selling them. Even when one of those people is a Wookie party member.

>> No.28634536

Our DM also did this. He got really pissed when our group came up with really silly names for every important NPC which, to be honest really ruined the immersion for everyone.

>> No.28634554

I like you. Your DM must hat fun.

>> No.28634669

That's... actually not funny. You're just being disruptive while indulging yourself.

>> No.28634789

You don't. Hijacking other players' characters with diplomacy rolls is incredibly fucked up. If the other player doesn't agree, you don't make him do it anyway.

>> No.28634821

Those are some terrible jokes, mate. You think you're being funny but that shit's actually pretty off-putting. Don't fucking do that. Don't crack jokes until you've got a real sense of humor.

>> No.28634835

Actually, that's quite funny. This is what happens to DMs who ignore their prep-work and try to run a game with incomplete materials.

I'd have laughed playing or running it.
>island colony of Boobala Jones
Come on, that's awesome, and probably a fitting title if making fun of something angling towards fetishy.

>> No.28634884


>When asked to provide a backstory for my Solar, I am required to do more than play "Princes of the Universe" at max volume
>When asked to provide background music via Performance charms, I am required to have more in my playlist than Queen and the Power Rangers theme songs
>Not allowed to name characters or legendary equipment after 1980s pop culture phenomena

You sir are pretty cool. Play Princes of the Universe in my group and everyone would have joined in singing.

>> No.28635080

So you're a chaotic evil dipshit on par with saturday morning villians who are lelevulz

>> No.28635171

Not allowed to cast nonstop Create Water for a few hours in Pathfinder until the dungeon is flooded.

>> No.28635954

How. How the fuck did you manage to out-nervous-breakdown the king of them?

>> No.28636644

My first time playing an RPG was full of stupid shit I'm not allowed to try anymore
>playing DH with liberal amount of house rules and simplifications
>party members accidentally help summon a demon in the middle of the city
>DM suggests we visit the local temple to get holy weapons
>on the way, Faggot 1 decides to shiv to a random NPC
>try to help the man, but have nothing yet, so I hug him instead
>man panics and draws his gun
>Faggot 2 shoots him in the back of the head
>mfw first assisted homicide

>> No.28636675

>>try to help the man, but have nothing yet, so I hug him instead

This made me laugh way more than it should have.

>> No.28636748

>enter the temple, priest is giving the stereotypical "Emperor give us strength" speech
>three bloodsplattered vagrants standing in the doorway
"Hey there, we need your help. We just summoned a demon and it's attacking the city."
>whole place goes silent
>priest glares at us, then demands we get out
"But it's okay, we're trying to fix it. All we need are some weapons and maybe some holy water."
>priest is absolutely livid
"Don't mind the bloodstains, they're from someone unrelated. It was in self-defense, honest!"
>priest draws chainsword and threatens to gore me
"Yeah, something like that would-"
>Faggot 2 made a private roll to disable me, and gets a partial success.
>dragged out of temple, head pounding, sound of chainswords in my ears

>> No.28636776

In Arcana Evolved by Monte Cook, there is a prestige class called Darkbond which lets you heal from negative energy and makes undead treat you like you are undead (though you are still alive). To get into the class, you have to take the Corrupt Mage feat. The Corrupt Mage feat allows you to place the negative energy descriptor on any spell you cast. Thus, can heal from any damaging spell you cast, so DOT spells make you far less squishy.

AOE negative energy spells were also fun when I got surrounded.

The downside is that corrupt spells make you make a will save or take temporary wisdom damage. But my will save was so high, I never failed it.

>> No.28636834

Is that you, Wes Janson? Is your DM Wedge Antilles by any chance?

>> No.28636855

Play a Malkavian with no ranks in drive but had enough ranks in subterfuge that I convinced everyone I was an excellent driver.

I ran over a key NPC. Outside of his church... While I was driving a hearse.

>> No.28636874

Permanently awaken our party's mule...

(Fucker had 18 intelligence, we turned the mule into a wizard, he lacked somatic and material components (DMs discretion) but he could teleport like a bitch)

>> No.28636876


>> No.28636947

>Play a Malkavian with no ranks in drive but had enough ranks in subterfuge that I convinced everyone I was an excellent driver.
Why would you...

Oh, right.

>> No.28636955

>not allowed to play full casters
i shouldn't have to ellaborate on this

>> No.28636972

>decide we need gear if we're going to eventually defeat the demon, who probably racked up a body count in the six digits by this point
>make way to the general store
>Faggots 1 and 2 decide to rob the place
>want no part in this, visit the deli across the street
>Faggot 1 has high dexterity and tries to sneak into the back room while Faggot 2 distracts him
>meanwhile, I'm ordering a salami sandwich
>Faggot 1 makes a difficult dexterity check and begins looting
>realize I never asked my party members if they wanted anything
>walk across the street to the store
"Hey Faggots 1 and 2, you want something? I'm buying!"
>shopkeeper realizes there's more than one person in the store
>runs to back room, Faggot 2 shoots him in the back
>realize my mistake, once again try the hugging strategy
>can't stem the bleeding in time
>shopkeeper dies in my arms
>twice there is blood on my hands
>flee into the sunset to commit more atrocities
>mfw I never got that sandwich

>> No.28637018

No longer can take proficiencies in Ride: (Creature) as an excuse to make certain creatures appear.

I believe Ride: Mountain Elephant (whom have suction cups on their feet) was the last straw on that one.

>> No.28637026

That sounds like a great opportunity for your GM. I mean, intrigue, poison rings, double agent courtiers, bribed army officers inviting you to check the state of the fortifications, factions seeing you as a tool to advance their plans... hell, he could have played it all Byzantine court ! What a waste...

>> No.28637057

That reminds me. I'm banned from using Ride to ride other player characters, no matter how practical it may be.

>> No.28637076

As my Deathwatch Kill-Team's White Scar pilot and driver:
>"For the Emperor" is an acceptable battle cry. "Death to the alien" is fine, too. "If you ain't out of control, you ain't in control" is not.
>When challenged to an honor duel by the snobby Ultramarine, my weapon and conditions of choice may not be "Jetbike, half-kilometer drag race".
>May not start a Mechanicus-sponsored show called Top Cog
>>May not then star in it as the team's tame racing driver
>It doesn't matter if I rolled a critical success. I cannot drift in a Baneblade.
>Not allowed to replace the flappy-paddle gearbox in new Imperial tanks with something less silly. That is tech-heresy.
>There is more to driving than collateral damage and speed.
>The Watch Captain may not be nicknamed "Captain Slow".

>> No.28637169

Okay, new rule. Don't use small nuclear warheads on your RPG unless if it's entirely necessary...

...No, an orphanage is NOT a dangerous target.

>> No.28637195

Hey, you never know if one of those orphans is a potentially world-ending proto-Mary Sue.

>> No.28637232

I'm no longer allowed to take transmute element > ____(generally plutonium) because killing the party after my first spell isnt okay.

>> No.28637260

I am banned from using Magic of Incarnum until the end of time. Apparently my group is too retarded to figure it out

>> No.28637286

As a Deathwatch DM, I am intrigued. I need to know what sort of bullshit my PCs might try to pull next.

>> No.28637294

I'm no longer allowed to play Alchemists, Enchanters, Artificers or any Monied Individual with an Int above 12 in any Fantasy setting. In their words: "You are Ruining the setting with your Industrialisations, Innovations and Commercialism! You're out competing both the Dwarves, Gnomes and Elves! At the Same time! Stop it!"

>> No.28637300

Don't use Greater Teleport to transport fire-resistant golems into the upper atmosphere.

>> No.28637324

Ooooh, is this the Mirage Island story? I love that one.

>> No.28637328

>drift in a Baneblade
I bet your DM doesn't even let you pick chicks up in it.

>> No.28637333

If your players are anything like me and my party, they'll turn the campaign into Fast & Furious: Tau'Kyo Drift.

>> No.28637364

>some say that his geneseed comes from a leman russ tank, and that he has made sweet heretical love to servitor. All we know that he's -NOT the stig, but his adepta astartes cousin!

>> No.28637380

When playing a Pokemon campaign, no longer allowed to use Australia as a setting. The novelty wore thin after the fifth poison-induced TPK. Pussies.

>> No.28637381

>DM decides to rerail the story, has us stumble upon a cultist hideout
>they've taken hostages to sacrifice
>don't want to kill anyone, as my psyche is already damaged enough
>Faggots 1 and 2 are faster
>Faggot 1 somehow misses
>Faggot 2 decides to try to intimidate them by throwing a shoe
>kidnapper freaks the fuck out and accidentally shoots his hostage
>my turn, want to salvage the situation
>try to disarm second kidnapper, aim for his forearm
>critical hit, his arm is gored
>his gun discharges, shooting the hostage in the stomach
>both dead
>bone fragments fly off and kill the wounded hostage as well
>living hostage taker stunned by the blast
>Faggot 1 blows his head open
>my PC cries over the dead bodies
>DM is sick of our shit
>demon fires car-sized fireball into the building
>rock falls, everybody dies
And that's why I never really got into the RPG scene.

>> No.28637415

That's what the party devastator's going for. With his BS of 90, I really don't like the idea of him with twin linked boltguns...or on an attack bike or landspeeder for that matter.

>> No.28637459

>It is frowned upon to purposely trick party members into putting on a girdle of masculinity/femininity just because I don't have enough hats of disguise.
>I'm certainly not allowed to trick the entire party into putting on girdles so none of them will feel singled out.
>Even if I put one on myself.
>Especially when the situation could have been avoided by giving the belt to the one party member who had been wearing a fake beard for the last 2 months.
>I am still allowed to purchase and/or create these belts to continue my sex change business targeting noble families.
>Angry adult nobles are unlikely to pay me to reverse the magic.

>> No.28637492

Did you ever get to compete against your orkish counterparts in a series of ever more daring challenges like upside down trukk racing?

>> No.28637495

>twin dragons

these are funny, other anons be hatin'

>> No.28637525

This is more a problem of your GM

He shouldn't put darth-fucking-vadar in his game

>> No.28637559

Yeah this is the DM's fault too. If he wants characters to have good names he should NAME THEM HIMSELF INSTEAD OF BEING A LAZY JACKASS WHO DOESN'T PUT EFFORT INTO A SETTING

>> No.28637578

>you should just let anyone take away your sword

And you would be dead if you were in a fantasy world

>> No.28637583

Sadly, no. Closest thing was late in the campaign, when I Crit-success'd a social test and challenged an entire WAAAAAGH of Speed Freekz to a cross-continent race. The Techmarine attached an orbital targeting beacon to my Jetbike and I had to bait the Orks away from a major city. Ended up with several billion dead Orks, a desert getting turned into glass, and my Marine getting las-burned thoroughly enough to make the survivors of Calth nod in solemn approval.

>> No.28637627

Roll a social character with no combat skills.

>> No.28637653

We were playing as elite members of the 501st, answering directly to him. I was playing the astromech that flew them around and general droid shit(I was drowning in upgrades because I would slice tons of money from people's bank accounts while the troopers got shit done).

I ended up crashing a frigate into vader's ship, destroying it.

>> No.28637685

I'd like to hear the aftermath of this

>> No.28637765

I kinda wonder how often this happens in 40k. Some chucklefucks decide they're gonna be heroes and accidentally cause the local level of their hive to explode into death.

>> No.28637837

I'm particularly fond of atmospheric teleporting. It's pretty much my calling card at this point.

I also once became a lich right under the noses of the group paladin and cleric.

>> No.28638070

Most of mine were inherited from previous players and DMs.
>I am no longer allowed to run trap dungeons
>I am absolutely forbidden from running the other kind of trap dungeon
>I am not allowed to say the words "magical realm"
>or any variant thereof
>I am not allowed to play a druid or ranger whose companion is a bear
>or a druid who can turn into a bear
>and I can't use Summon Nature's Ally to summon a bear
>I am not allowed to play druids
>I am not allowed to play characters with a charisma of over 16
>I am not allowed to bring Cheetos to the game
>I am not allowed to do pic related
>I am not allowed to mention coasters in-game

>> No.28638131

God, you must me awkward to look at.

>> No.28638135

I too, was forbidden from renaming npcs that my dm was fond of.

>His custom astartes npc chapter , the "stalking panthers" are not called the "shitting panthers".
>when the dm named two of his npcs 'pika' and 'chu', he had it coming

>> No.28638177

>the palinka effect
I really really want to know more about this.

>> No.28638217


>Ultramarine Captain: "Finally, I shall enjoy a bit of rest from the weary sounds of war and irrationality. First I must report to the space port by way of Land Speeder...which my Sergeant is driving like a complete idiot down this stretch of freeway."
>Know No Fear

I didnt realize you should safely drive a land speeder

>> No.28638349

You shouldn't. If you ain't out of control, you ain't in control, battle-bruvva.

>> No.28638416


>> No.28638423

my group does it in a way that makes sense
if your character got low intellegience you act like youve got low intelligence
the more unlikely the action your forcing the player to do, the harsher the roll penalty

>> No.28638457

It's really a matter of perspective and what they're trying to achieve.

Convincing the Barbarian that the door isn't trapped and the way is safe for him to go should be easy--he wants to go first anyways.

Diplomancing his prized axeswordkillything away from him should be impossible

>> No.28638466

>I'm not allowed to get the group back on topic by saying "Baby Rape"
I think /tg/ requires stories, anon.

>> No.28638523

this pisses me and the group im in a lot
weve had crazy times acting like we failed diplomacy in homebrews and DanD
halfling spy giving out compensation money so he doesnt look bad
soviet worker being so stupid he follows players advice and will often ignore the warning signs no matter how obvious they were to the player himself

Priest failing wi tests when seeing sinful areas like taverns, so i deliberately go there and have a drink

its genius

>> No.28638625

- Player chokes out a wild triceratops.
- Players work together to train the triceratops so the player who choked it out can make it his mount.
- Add triceratops mount to the party

Later in game:
- We need to transport ourselves to another location because the natives will kill us if we leave the area.
- The triceratops weighs too much for the teleport spell at the level we are at.
- Cast a spell to turn a living creature into glass.
- Turn the triceratops into glass
- Hit it with clubs and shatter the triceratops into pieces
- Gather hunks of glass triceratops shards into piles small enough so we can teleport it in a couple of trips.
- Once in safety, gather the triceratops shards together and cast a repair spell that perfectly repairs a broken object to the way it was before it broken
- Cast a spell to turn the triceratops from glass back to its original form.
- Successfully teleport the party and the triceratops

Because we thought of this, and many other reasons, is the reason why I ban all teleportation spells in every game I run.

>> No.28638632

wow. just wow. i geniunely feel sorry for you
seriously what the fuck did they think they were playing a Call Of Duty Roleplay?!

you will always get one guy who tries to sabotage the party, but this....dam
i want to dm or play an rpg with you just so you can know what a decent game is like

>> No.28638682

shouldn't have started with FFG 40k

imo it's a bad jumping point for RPGs

>> No.28638699

I must know how you did this

>> No.28638714

true but its DH, the only rpgs i know with a higher player death rate is Paranoia and Only War
the faggots should not have got away with that shit

>> No.28638741

To each his own. My group of newbies tried D&D and got bored quickly but cottoned on well to 40k RP's lethality and faster pace (Well, faster when we played at least).

>> No.28638771

In fairness, my next session involved me dancing to distract demons (I took dance lessons to ensure I always succeeded), selling Oxycontin to psychics and insisting the Space Marine escorting us had a wife and daughter he was trying to defend.

I think we're even.

>> No.28638782

try Paranoia, its is the ultimate rpg for lethality and fast paced
>do you even hail the computer?

>> No.28638805


My reasoning is that FFG games can breed a feeling of futility which isn't present in 80% of RPGs

>> No.28638807

>It doesn't matter if I rolled a critical success. I cannot drift in a Baneblade.
Well fuck that noise. That's pretty much how tanks turn IRL. Well, sort of.

>> No.28638827


>> No.28638848

now thats more like it!

>> No.28638870

I am no longer allowed to roll a vampire brawler and use the excuse of "The sun is deathly painful to me, I must cover my entire body whilst I fight" so that I can make a leather full-body suit, coat it in armor segments, don a helmet with a dark visor and white mask right underneath the visor, and claim that I am Blood Ranger Red.

I'm certain the DM doesn't want another disaster of me challenging "every criminal and bandit in the entire world, offering a treasure trove of riches that I have pilfered from a thousand aristocrats and stored in a location only found through my memory and this map".

>> No.28638878

I'm fairly sure after this exalted game I'll never be able to play a lunar again.

Then again, it's Exalted.

>> No.28638905

Play scientist characters. The first time you use the laws of physics to kill the GM's super-difficult encounter on the first turn is also usually the last.

>> No.28638979

Sir Not-A-Dragon is the only chuckleworthy thing in there. I'm stealing it.

>> No.28639060

To sum it up

>We become exiles from the Empire.
>Rebellion won't trust us
>We have a FORTUNE in credits thanks to my slicing bank accounts, hundreds of millions
>We split the cost for a Clone-Wars era Star Destroyer
>Hire a crew
>Rampage around the universe for a bit
>Always avoiding Empire space, but pretending we have authorization when we're in pirate and hutt space

Was a fun game

>> No.28639071

0/10 not an Anne Rice vampire

>> No.28639096

Sounds like RT in starwars

>> No.28639135

You're a fag and should feel awful about everything you do.

>> No.28639172

Honestly, I probably should just avoid Star Wars in general.

Within a month max, I've done SOMETHING to drive the DM to screaming, the party cracking up, and just fucking with shit in general.

My favorite character ever from a SW game was in Edge of Empire, where I had a Protocol droid. His method of combat? Be extremely boring. I would talk, anyone within earshot would take strain damage until they passed out.

>> No.28639188


>> No.28639222


It probably doesn't help that the only fags still playing starwars love the setting while everyone else has moved on from the sci-fi gateway drug into sci-fi that suits their interests

>> No.28639228

Second favorite would be a Trandosian slaver who enslaved a bunch of people, making the wookie in the party carry the unconscious bodies without telling him where we were going.

When he figured it out(inside the building), he went nuts, tried to kill me and the slave store guy. So I used a stun weapon to knock him out while he focused on the other guy, and sold him for a few thousand credits.

I then broke in that night, freed him, and made him swear a life debt to me for saving him from slavery.

>> No.28639262

I'm a huge Star Wars fan. Read all the books, watch the movies at least 3-4 times a year, yada yada.

And this just makes me a DEADLY player in TTRPGs because I can pull lore to backup insane ideas and why they're completely possible, and why my character would do them.

>> No.28639279

I'm no longer allowed to use summon mount. Not after that one time.

>> No.28639366

See, you're in love with starwars

>> No.28639421

>no-one understanding top gear references.
Jesus Christ my sides.

>> No.28639437

Honestly, I love how vast it is. There's so much different shit in it if you get into the EU. Can play a Jedi/Sith and go the whole morality-based Wizard-knight. Can play a western-styled Bounty Hunter. Can play military guys. Can play slavers, slaves, droids, bartenders, random nobodies, pickpockets, monsters, jawa mechanics. I've yet to find another setting that has such a vast universe that feels utterly alive.

>> No.28639466

You're not fooling anyone, you twat.

>> No.28639468

Nice strawman there.

There's a difference between not letting someone have your stuff and killing them for asking you sperglord.

>> No.28639491

Vast doesn't usually translate to best or else we'd all be playing GURPs.

As I mentioned, most people find another scifi setting that has a feel that suits them better, Firefly, 40k (lol you just want fantasy with guns), Star Trek, Babylon 5 etc etc etc

>> No.28639516


>> No.28639520

Most people do, but really, Star Wars just fits me. It has so much that I love, I don't really have a need for more.

>> No.28639570

Which is great, more power to you, I like 4 5 and 6 and that suits me just fine.

Not going to get into EU because it doesn't appeal to me but by all means, love it and don't stop.

For both our sakes I hope jjabram does good work

>> No.28639596

You. I like you.

>> No.28639637

There's also a +0 LA race and a feat which allow it, "tomb tainted soul" for the feat, and "Necropolitan" for the race.

>> No.28639643

Honestly, I'm a bit worried they'll retcon shit that I've loved for years, like Thrawn, but I'll give them a chance.

Thanks anon.

>> No.28639696

Sounds like you were inserting your fetish into the game

>> No.28639965

I'm not that anon but I do that all the time.

I'm currently a deldar with a bomb collar in RT

>> No.28640151

I wasn't allowed to refer to the hyper perfect Elf PC as "Awful" good.
I wasn't allowed to point out how Racist the super evolved better than everyone elves were

Look dude I get it, you want to fuck elf chicks. Perfectly normal but stop making them special snowflake rainbow flowers if you want a group to like you.

>> No.28640181

i missed the post... my fucking sides
1) as theyve said top gear is not in america due to the language for car parts being too different
with other languages you can just translate british - american is very difficult

>> No.28640282

I can't play casters of any sort. Or make any class that's not mundane for that matter. It's a handicap because I always use my characters intelligently rather than do dumb shit like everyone else in the group.

>> No.28640310

Just abuse engineering, cohorts and artefacts until you're kicked out

>> No.28640344

My 3 int Orc Barbarian is not allowed to outsmart anyone with a higher int score. No, it doesn't matter if I have total retard explanation that fits.

>> No.28640664

That just sounds like a "no fun allowed" GM.

>> No.28640746

I'm not allowed in space.
I tend to use the vacuum as a desperation move.

>> No.28640760

So you admit to partial samefaggotry, at least?

>> No.28640764

I'm no longer allowed to steal the Macguffin during my watch while everybody's asleep, sneak off into the night, and sell it to the BBEG.

>> No.28640844

I'm not allowed to explain the plot of the book the DM is copying.

>> No.28640970


>> No.28641077

Not him, but mounts in 3.5 can deal over 80~ damage per turn on average. At level 5. (I think it was about 80. I haven't made a 3.5 character in a few years.)

>> No.28641149


et tu brute? this book is completely banned now. I'm sure it will never again from my bookshelf. I mean who uses turn undead for anything other than divine metamagic.

>> No.28641193


>Captcha says "number niedfun". Yes we do, captcha.

>> No.28641224

There has got to be a way to cause turn undead to be turn live. Surely.

>> No.28641273

You. I like you.

>> No.28641289

Only if your patron deity is Chris-Chan.

>> No.28641300

lol I'm not even the guy you're thinking is samefagging

>> No.28641306

I know you can turn plants and elementals, but I think that's about it.

>> No.28641364

(Looks it up.) Oh, you can also turn "Snake and Reptiles", "Oozes", and "Spiders"

>> No.28641379

But still no Turn Left.

>> No.28641693

>spits water out all over keyboard
>still worth it

>> No.28641718

Wait, there is a demon murdering everyone and shops are still open? Gay

>> No.28641877

Throwing Liches in my bag of holding so I can save up on Liches and time spells so I can Age them to DemiLichhood so I could then forge them into Armour comprised of Demi-Liches and then make easy money in obliterating undead armies with my Tony Stark esque Demi Lich collective suit drawing infinite energies from other planes of existence.
Suffice to say, All Liches to be in campaigns started hiring massive armies to guard them from my insatiable lust for their soon to be jeweled skulls.

>> No.28642081


Turn the triceratops into glass
- Hit it with clubs and shatter the triceratops into pieces
- Gather hunks of glass triceratops shards into piles small enough so we can teleport it in a couple of trips.
- Once in safety, gather the triceratops shards together and cast a repair spell that perfectly repairs a broken object to the way it was before it broken
- Cast a spell to turn the triceratops from glass back to its original form.
- Successfully teleport the party and the triceratops

>> No.28642493

No longer allowed to use realworld densities of food substances, multiplied by trade goods at 1g per lb to undercut set game price for meals by ridiculous margins, hire unskilled laborers at the set 1 silver per day according to the profession skill, and start my own fast food chain.

I'm also not allowed to play as a PF Blight Druid, and Summon Natures Ally, kill said natures ally, then resurrect it, so I can have an even larger horde of minions when I summon later.

I'm also not allowed to store said increased lot of minions in a bag of holding, then turn it inside out to dump all of them in the nearest spaces to me as a standard action, effectively "summoning" large amounts of high CR monsters and still leaving me chance to run away, and actual summon even more to join the fray.

Furthermore, I'm not allowed to make everything Bloody Skeletons, so that I can collect the remains back into the bag, so that after an hour and at most, maybe fifteen minutes later, everything's back to full health and ready to be redumped.

Or, instead, since bloody were banned, have a flood of 1hd tiny viper burning skeletons, that I can do the same bag trick with 15 feet above the enemies' head, so that they're hit with 32d6 no save fire damage a turn (4 tiny creatures a square, 8 surrounding spaces) because they're adjacent to them and caught in their flaming aura, and can only reliably kill one of them at a time unless they have mondo points into cleave. And even if they do kill them it still does them another d6 fire damage from the death explosion (though they can reflex away from it).

I tell ya though, not many things can outlast (32!+1)d6. Especially when there's still a party to deal with.
Did I mention initial investment is only 1600g? (32* (25*2))
And it's very reusable, since at most you lose like 3 snakes before they fall? At 150g a pop, an all expense paid trip to the surface of the sun is chumpchange.

Homing flaming snake skeleton nuke. How I miss you.

>> No.28642520


>> No.28642567

Except that's fucking brilliant. Why punish something creative?

>> No.28642598

no fun allowed

>> No.28642672

I Don't have the right to team my Fighter and our Druids transformed into a Hammerhead shark to kill the bosses in only a few hit.

Also, Using the Druid transformed into a giant turtle to destroy walls is also frowned upon

>> No.28642815 [DELETED] 

I'm not allowed to be a paladin and be peer pressured by the rest of the group to accept the idea that killing evil orc children is morally ok.

>> No.28642942

You started a fastfood chain?

>> No.28643036

I'm intrigued by this puzzle. It seems that whoever drinks phasing will be the only one guaranteed to escape. Sure, flame breath and super strength could break their chain, but then what? The only win-win scenario I can think of is for the party to figure out which one gives phasing, chug-a-lug, he walks over to SS, chug-a-lug, breaks the chain, goes to each, gains flight and carries the entire party out through the roof. However, if the potions are unremarkable as implied by the poison being drunk, I'm stumped. Ideas?

>> No.28643086

That wouldn't work. There is no way you wouldn't leave some dust behind and on your weapons.

>> No.28643503

I still think wraith squadron is better
>yub yub, commander

>> No.28644328

Maybe there is no solution and his DM is just an asshole. Sounds like something my friend would do.

Also, he's not allowed to DM anymore.

>> No.28644334

How the hell did that happen?

>> No.28644335

Were you the guy who posted forever ago about filling a cave with gasoline or something awhile back to burn out an entire coven of vampires/one big vampire guy?

>> No.28644387

Both were excellent books.

I got to say though, watching Wedge and co work their way through the entire planet was fucking hilarious and amazing at the same time.

>> No.28644414

having a character say the words "I just want my kids back" as a way to influence NPC's
the first option of any encounter to be running away

>> No.28644489

I'm no longer allowed to pour everything in the alchemist's shop into one container and then throw it at the nearest enemy.

>> No.28645432

once I hybrided a bard with a warlock. you take all the support bard stuff, and the mind control and aggresive vs will warlock stuff. one of the bard paragon paths is " when you cast a spell vs will, you can reroll it and take either result" this includes the maintenance costs, and is fucking brilliant

>> No.28645623

>yub yub
Sometimes, I get the feeling that the Wraith Squadron series was just a huge TTRPG campaign with Wes as the DM.

>> No.28645768

This. Oh so much this.

>> No.28645915

>Top Cog

I chuckled heartily at this

>> No.28646015

What about sideways?

>> No.28646216

>I am no longer allowed to abuse a stat build to dive up someone's ass mid-battle and kill them from the inside with a dagger.

I played a VERY fat dwarf, and my DM had had enough when I succeeded with my roll to do this to a tiny, six-inch tall fairy.

>> No.28646275

I'm no longer able to get a lethal surprise round against a boss by getting the GM's fiance to come onto me and shove me through a door

>> No.28646340

That isn't all that much damage?
Wait, what level?

>> No.28646343

More from this character:
>Not allowed to paint my Jetbike deep purple
>>Not allowed to then stencil "Highway Star" on its side
>Not allowed to deliberately get captured by Dark Eldar just to tear up their racing circuit
>Cannibalizing DEldar bike parts to trick my engine out even further is tech-heresy
>It doesn't matter what the dice just said. I most definitely did not just break the sound barrier.
>No, Jaghatai Khan is not secretly the champion of Dark Eldar Redline
>Not allowed to give my character a ridiculously long pompadour simply so he has a greater chance of crossing the finish line first
>Not allowed to invite famous Imperial personalities to race around a track in a reasonably-priced speeder
>When the Mechanicus asks to do a Top Cog special on Fenris, it is impolite to show up at the Fang in a Deathwing Thunderhawk flanked by white-armored Terminators
>>It is even more impolite to ask the Wolves if they smell what The Rock is cookin'.
>>>Likewise, when invited to do a special with the Dark Angels, it is rude to bring a gift if said gift is Fenrisian ale.
>>>>Showing up on Phalanx with caution striping on my armor is just asking to be power fist pimp-slapped.
>>>>>And when the Iron Hands politely inquire how my voyage to Medusa was, I may not respond with, "My neck is killing me."
>Regardless of my character's in-Chapter rank or the nervous breakdown the BBEG suffered, we may not call that particular session the Wrath of Khan.
>When Doomrider nods in approval, that is a Corruption Points warning, not a signal to drive faster.
>It does not matter how precise my calculations and instruments are. Hitting exactly 88 miles per hour does not result in "serious shit".
>Electric cars are tech-heresy. Kitbashing one from civilian-grade hardware store products is double tech-heresy.
>When the BBEG agrees to drift race me and offers a choice of vehicle, I am not allowed to choose Reliant Robins.

>> No.28646392

Show this to him sometime, watch him change his tune.

>> No.28646408

To be fair, it is pretty boring for the party to endure and it breaks wealth by level pretty hard if you try.

>> No.28646475

Well if they got high enough anal circumference rolls, I can't see how he can stop you.

>> No.28646485

Let me get this straight.

You can literally jump up someone's ass... and stab them with a knife.

I'm totally doing this.

>> No.28646497

You don't typically have that much health at level 5.
A barbarian at level 5, with 18Con and getting a 12 on his hp roll every level up will have exactly 80 health.
Barbarians have the highest health in the game.

>> No.28646544

There was a whole thread on it way, way back.

>> No.28646554

That was barely a factor.

My dwarf was a rogue. There were stats that allowed you to more easily slip through a tight space. If you did nothing but dump points into those stats, you could make a 4-foot tall orb of dwarf slip through something the size of a pinhead with ease. Assuming you rolled right. If not, well, something too small isn't surviving anyway.

>> No.28646596


DnD Detect powers. Namely Detect Evil because the partys Paladin decided to use the skill on absolutely every NPC the second we encountered them. Irritated the DM.

>> No.28646855

3.5 is ass

>> No.28646861

your DM hates fun.

have a gem from the last thread.

>> No.28646943

Maybe so, but I think the anon I was answering has a fatal case of poor reading comprehension. I was simply enlightening him to all the stuff in the original post he missed.

>> No.28647076



>> No.28647216

>No more Autism character.
I banned this after one of my PC (his character has Autism) always bitching about how he never get role-playing bonus (by role-playing nothing) in my group.

Funny thing is, since he is the only one in my group with steady AOE, he did get killing bonus a lot.

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