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[ERROR] No.28596879 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Party hangs out on a vaguely Greek-themed continent, where people worship the Greek gods and all that
>One of the players has openly expressed her disdain to the pantheon in question, both in-universe and outside of it
>"Bunch of self-centered assholes, fuck you if they like you and fuck you up if they don't."
>Her PC has been plagued by misfortune throughout the campaign, targeted by a bunch of demons and shit, struck by lightning once
>Another time she failed a save and went mad, almost killed the party rogue
>REVELATION TIME
>Turns out she's one of Zeus's illegitimate children, it's Hera that has been fucking her up the whole time
>Turned out pretty well once she recovered from the shock, though
>Convinced Hera that she is just as upset about this development, befriended her
>On epic levels, they joined forces to kick the shit out of Zeus and boot him off the Mount Olympus

>> No.28596978

>>28596879

>Brand new level 1 murder hobos in pathfinder
>get caught up in various cult stuff
>Necromancer VS Death, we're caught in between
>Kick ass from sea to shining sea
>Death pays us to find a lich because they're bad for business
>Necromancer ALSO pays us to find lich because he wants to.
>We accept cause we're profiteers not heroes.
>Find lich in big scary lost tech castle
>Lich kills us but good.
>Meet with death.
>"Oh that's fine bros. I was hoping at least ONE of you would die". He pings the location of our death and goes to take out the lich himself.
>Mission accomplished. Asshole.

Luckily part of our deal was immortality. Good thing that blew up in our faces too else the campaign might've ended there!

>> No.28597020

>>28596879
What's wrong with this?

>> No.28597512

What is the point of Lock Tap in 4e? Would a DM have issue with trying to pick a lock without it? Why even have it?

>> No.28597524

>>28596879
Sounds like a great game, and the DM used one of the players in-game and irl opinions as a major plot point.

How is that a dick move?

>> No.28597544

>>28596978
Sounds like you had a tpk and GM pulled a fast one to deal with it. i don't see the problem.

>> No.28597545

>>28596879
>Booting Zeus off Olympus
Did anyone even read the Aeneid?
Zeus outright states that if all of the gods pulled on a rope against him, they wouldn't be able to move him. He is too mighty.

>> No.28597550

>>28596978
>Brand new level 1 murder hobos in pathfinder
You got the essence of everything D&D based.
I like you.

>> No.28597576

>>28597545
And you believed him?
More to the point, this is obviously OP's take on a fantasy world with Greek-like traits. It doesn't have to be exactly the same. You might as well complain that God of War isn't 'mythologically accurate' or whatever.

>> No.28597591

>>28597576
>Implying God of War is not the wet dreams of grognards everywhere in the world

>> No.28597625

>>28597545
Of course zeus would say that.

In another story (can't remember the source) the gods almost rebel against zeus, and they only stop because someone (i think maybe hephaistos?) gave him a hekatonkheires as a bodyguard. It is the clear message of the story that they would have succeeded if it wasn't for the hekatonkheires.

>> No.28597627

>>28597524
Agreed. Awesome DM move

>> No.28597659

>>28597544
It does SOUND like that, except his fast one ended with the party separated and me and barbarian the barbarian trapped in hell.

It was a dick move, but man was I entertained by it.

>> No.28597700

>>28597659
If you were entertained then the DM achieved their goal.

>> No.28597718

>>28597545

Please, tell me more about how greek gods are defined only by Roman poets.

>> No.28597719

>>28597550
We set out with no particular goals in mind and the story was kind of hard to follow at first. We became more than murder hobos. We became what every slaughter vagrant aspired to be. KINGS OF MURDER HOBODOM.

>> No.28597843

>>28597718
That's cute. I'd be glad to discuss it some more if you could give me some Greek examples of Zeus' power either not holding up or otherwise managing to eclipse the other gods.

>> No.28597903

>>28597719
>We set out with no particular goals in mind
>We became what every slaughter vagrant aspired to be.
>KINGS OF MURDER HOBODOM.
Somewhere in the nine hells, Gary Gigax is brofisting some Baatezu Overlord when he read that.
You sir. You won D&D.

>> No.28597988

>>28597512
Without even knowing what Lock Tap is I guess it just allows you to do it faster (as some sort action rather than something that takes a minute or more. or in circumstances where you otherwise couldn't do it (combat again) without some penalty or provoking AoO.

>> No.28598059

>>28597719
>slaughter vagrant

In stealing this. I'm going to push it as a change to "murder hobo"

>> No.28598190

>>28597843
found the story i was talking about, sadly this is the only place i could find it, but i think it may be from the Theogony if you wanna look it up.

http://baringtheaegis.blogspot.dk/2012/10/zeus-hera-and-hekatonkheires.html

>> No.28598257

>>28597719
this is more or less D&D/pathfinder at its very very best.

>> No.28600294

>>28597545
This is fucking Zeus.

Of course he would say that.

>> No.28600435

>>28597591
Never played God of War past the first one, question, does he ever kill off Artemis?

Just curious for some reason.

She is my favorite of all the greek gods but is also a complete bitch.

I recall in one of the myths a huntress claimed there was no way Artemis could be a virgin due to her luscious breasts and hips, unlike the huntress, who had a boyish form. (Also lesbian touchy feely going on during this.)

So in return Artemis had her drugged, tied up, and raped by Dionysus.

Afterwards she tried to commit suicide by throwing herself into lion dens and shit while Artemis laughed. But due to how famously good of a hunter she was all the animals ran from her in fear.

So after she gave birth to twins on a mountain she threw one off and suddenly Artemis went HOLY SHIT and had the other one saved, I believe the huntress fell to her death or something.

tl:dr never tell Artemis she has nicer cans than you.

>captcha goothein revenged

heh.

>> No.28600692

>>28600435
She kinda vanished from the franchise after the first.
She was gonna be playable in the newest one but was dropped for unknown reason.

>> No.28600807

>>28600435
>Greek gods
>no sense of right and wrong

>> No.28600854

>>28597625
>hekatonkheires
I'm pretty sure they protected him on their own because he freed them from their prison in Hades before confronting Chronos. I think that is also when the Cyclops gave him power over lightning too

>> No.28600904

>>28600807
They are supposed to act like normal people who have the power of Gods. Morality gets a little twisted when the world if your plaything

>> No.28601172

>>28600854
Yeah i was talking based on a pretty foggy memory. provided the actual story here >>28598190

>> No.28601487

>>28600435
That would be Aura, who bore one child and cannibalized it and the other she went to throw off, but Artemis saved him (Iakhos, who became an attendant of Demeter).

>> No.28601535

>>28600904
Is it bad that every homemade pantheon I ever make has shades of this whole 'act like normal people but with divine power and problems' like the Greek deities? With a few exceptions (my progenitor gods in my primary setting, and my God of Magic in my second setting) they're all living in a giant, heavenly soap opera that mortals only get sneak peeks of.

>> No.28601575

>>28601535
That sounds perfectly reasonable, and still nowhere near as bad as the Greek pantheon.

>> No.28601579

>>28600692
FUCK seriously?!

I would have bought that shit new for 60 bucks.

>>28601487
Oh yeah I forgot the cannibalism part. Even better.

When I was a kid I read dozens of the mythology books my local library had and I will never cease to rage at the fact that they never stocked any of the myths that involved things like rape, child murder, and cannibalism.

Which is like half of all greek myths.

>> No.28601967

>>28600904
They don't act like normal people though, they act like sociopaths of a level beyond human reckoning. The Greek Gods were basically the world's first neckbeards.

>> No.28602235

>>28601967
Power corrupts. That's not just a saying anymore, there's tons of psychological research that says that people who gain power have to resist a shitload of temptation and egomania. The Greek gods were fuck-off powerful, so they would certainly act like something BEYOND your usual Patrick Bateman.

Another thing. The morality of the Greek pantheon isn't based on good and evil so much as virtue, or lack thereof. Virtues can include things like greed, pride, ambition, fortitude, wisdom, or creativity. Sir Thomas Moore was considered an exceptionally virtuous example to the Catholic faith in his time, he sacrificed his life on a principle. But people also tend to ignore the fact that he executed a number of heathens by burning them to death. People can be both good and bad in large measures, while still having the bad outweigh the good.

>> No.28605349

>>28601579
don't forget bestiality
seriously greek mythology is kinda fucked up

>> No.28605582

>>28605349
At least the bestiality was (often) consenting.

Honestly, I'd rather consent to have sex with a swan than have someone rape me without my permission.

>> No.28605874

>>28597545
> In a Roman poem, Greek God X says his dick is Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig
>therefore his dick must actually be that big in all other versions.

>> No.28606989

>>28601967
No, they were the worlds first player characters.

>> No.28607346

I got one myself.
>GMing Deathwatch
>Spacewolf and Whitescar running from 2 chaos armies fighting each other (Khorn & Tzeentch)
>When I say fighting, I mean chaos titans vs bloodthirsters
>Like something out of a heavy metal album art collection
>Spacewolf has a borrowed hammer that the big E himself did stuff with
>Whitescar has a key that could open a second eye of terror
>Dying inquisitor that gave them the stuff explicitly said "DO NOT LOSE THE KEY, FOR ANY REASON"

>They're running through an abandoned city, everything big and nasty is being drawn to the big fight
>When suddenly Whitescar gets an idea
Scar: Dude, I got it... We take the hammer, and smash the key!
Wolf: Wait, didn't whats-his-face say not to let go of it? Like, ever?
Scar: Trust me, this will work... Ok, I'll set this down, hand me the hammer.
>This was, word to word, their exact exchange

>Whitescar player is winding up to smash the key, when suddenly...
>DANANANANANA DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMRIDER!
>Doomrider comes out of nowhere on his bike, snatches up the key, then bails from this existence


Am I a bad GM?

>> No.28608208

>>28607346
> Deus ex railroad
That was moderately dickly.

When it comes to a macguffin, an experienced player's first idea will be to ruin the plot with it. It is pretty much the final exam you take to get your DM license. Be prepared.

>> No.28610713

>>28605874
Unless we're talking about Priapus, god of sporting a gigantic boner. His dick is more or less the same in all versions.

>> No.28610765

>>28597545
Zeus led a revolution against the last bunch of gods.

He has a vested interest in propaganda to his unstoppable power.

>> No.28612963

>>28607346
Kinda, but it was entertaining at least.

>> No.28615013

>>28605582
As opposed to raping you with your permission?

>> No.28615107

>>28615013
Yes.

>> No.28615204

>shadowrun
>first run, new players, final destination
>get to the site
>"umm, maybe scope out the inside?"
>drone out!
>drone down! from invisible things!
>oh shit
>guards checking around
>oh god, stealth punches
>guards down
>uuh, uh uh, time to shoot our way in?
>front door
>open and receive grenade to the face
>no save, roll to resist
>party of 3 has 4 boxes between us

>> No.28615251

>See a flyer in my LGS, Pathfinder table looking for an additional player for a new campaign
>Kinda in the mood for a game and would love to meet new players
>Call GM, he tells me it's fine, I should just make a regular level 1 Dude and I'm good to join the group
>Roll up with my fresh-faced Cleric of Iomedae, ready to have some adventures
>Turns out the "new campaign" is actually just a new chapter for an already existing group of characters (the other players)
>Everyone but me is level 9 and geared out like crazy
>Talk to the GM about it, since it seems kinda unfair, plus I'll be essentially useless for quite some time
>He tells me it's fair because they played their characters to that point so they should be allowed to use them
>Doesn't allow me to use one of my past characters of equal level from other games because "they have no history in this setting, it would be weird"
>I decide to just roll with it to see what happens
>Their characters are arrogant dickwads, try to force my dudes to cook their meals and carry their stuff because "he's just a level 1 chump"
>Naturally refuse
>After some heated discussion, we finally embark on the scheduled dungeoncrawl
>First fight
>I just stay behind and cast my two spells per day to buff the group
>Get incinerated by stray spell
>Group loots what little I own and continues onward
>I have to sit by for the rest of the session because there was never a good point to bring in a new dude

So yeah, I guess I'm looking for a new group.

>> No.28615271

>>28601535
You mean like the Norse pantheon?
And the Indian? And the Japanese, Chinese, Egyptian pantheons?
I'd be more worried if your pantheon didn't just act like a soap.
Can mortals become gods in your settings? Because I always think that's a nice touch, one younger god who is the voice of reason despite being the kind of guy who decided to become a god.

>> No.28615385

>>28615271
Maybe he didn't decide to become a god. Maybe it just happened, and that's why he's the voice of reason - if everyone keeps mucking about shagging sheep, there'll just be more and more gods and then what?

My setting has a number of gods who were mortal or who simply appeared out of nowhere. One of them ,realizing everyone around him is an idiot, has decided to raise an army of ghosts and take over the world, solving the problem himself.

>> No.28615412

>>28615251
I would have flipped out and beaten the entire group to death with a chair.

>> No.28615454

>>28601579
>>28605349
>>28605582
I sometimes wonder if I am like I am because my bedtime stories were from the complete collection of greek myths.
Seriously, what 4 year old goes to sleep after hearing about Hercules' death by instant leprosy?

>> No.28615501

>>28615454
>Seriously, what 4 year old goes to sleep after hearing about Hercules' death by instant leprosy?

One that grows up to be a fa/tg/uy of course

>> No.28615522

>>28596879
Hey OP. What rule set were you using? I wouldn't mind running something similar to that, butI can never settle on mechanics that satisfy me.

>> No.28615553

>>28596879
Well, Kinda Weird, As Hera is the god of Marriage, also I remember the Myth about Zeus getting really angry and using Hera as Target practice.

>> No.28615582

>>28615553

What part was weird?

Hera loved to fuck with the spawn of Zeus's rape sprees

>> No.28616193

>>28600692
She was dropped along with female character options because feminists screeched about the violence in the game encouraging rape against women.

>> No.28616268

>>28616193
>Female character kicking seven shades of shit out of stuff
>ENCOURAGING RAPE!
Worst is, I believe you.

>> No.28616280

>>28616193
Citation needed.

>> No.28616320

>>28616280
Google it. There was tons of screeching femnazis bleating rape and privilage about all sorts of games. Ascension was originally going to have female character options, but it was during this shitstorm that they announced they won't have female character options and that they'll 'pull back' from violence against women. One of the trophies was renamed from "Bros before hos" to "Bros before Foes"

I love Greek Mythology and I think God of War gets the brutality of that across well. I'm just annoyed at the literal 'stop liking what I don't like!' crowd getting their way.

>> No.28616334

>>28616320
But why couldn't they have had the female hero rape her way through everything?

THAT would be equality. And isn't equality what feminists want?

>> No.28616348

>>28616320
They did the exact wrong thing. They should've done what Rockstar did, flipped the bird at naysayers, and ride on the waves of controversy to even greater publicity.

>> No.28616365

>>28616334
>And isn't equality what feminists want?

>> No.28616394

>>28616334
Feminists wanted equality and got it, men and women are equal in rights, but they're still bitching about a few "minor" things like differences in wages and stuff.

Feminazis just want to crush your balls because you looked at them wrong while they were wearing slutty clothes (which they wear because they're comfortable in them, absolutely not to seduce men or anything), and looking at them is totally the same as raping them, bro. And those still call themselves "feminists".

>> No.28616397

>>28616365
Well, the rational ones I mean. Of course there are idiots going to extremities in everything, feminism not included.

People oughta not listen to them.

>> No.28616404

>>28616394
>Feminists wanted equality and got it

Hahaha, what

We're -far- from equality, bro.

>> No.28616436

>>28616404
I said "in rights" a comma over, bro.
Probably depends where you live.

>> No.28616443

>>28616404
>same pay coworkers
>can read, write, vote, drive, hold nearly every job, go to school and fuck without being stoned to death

Yup. Still not equal in the good 'ol YOU ESS OF AY.

>> No.28616495

> Always bait players with obvious fiction tropes
> Subvert/reverse/bait and switch every time
> They never catch on

I can't even tell if I'm being a dick anymore.

>> No.28616566

>>28616443
>can read, write, vote, drive, hold nearly every job, go to school and fuck without being stoned to death
>in the west

That's, what, about one quarter of the world with equality?

>> No.28616629

Before this turns into /pol/. Women and men are different. Fact. Nothing can change they. They are different in mind and body. Ideally, in the eyes of the Law they should be equal. Jobs, Justice, everything else. Equal.

Also.

>Ran a game.
>Player found some fluff in a book that hinted about a hidden king who swore to give all his power to whoever freed him.
>They're hunting down the BBEG
>Player wants to beat down and interrogate the BBEG to find out where this king is.
>"Tell me where king is!" The player roars!
>"Silly player. You are the king." BBEG responds before clubbing the fuck out him.

>> No.28616677

>>28616629
>Women and men are different.

I just wish we knew exactly how.

Right now all we know for sure is that men have more muscle and can rape easier. Which doesn't really help the situation of equality.

>> No.28616720

>>28616629
I say we turn this into /co/ instead of /pol/, and bring up the page of a comic I once read, which involves some women discussing equality: they state that all feminists want is for men and women to be the same, which is impossible, and that instead they should be quite different. How men need to act like they're strong emotionless friendless assholes to each other, and that it's only with women that they can open up.

I rather liked it. Let's see if I can find it again.

>> No.28616736

>>28616720
WFY?

Everyone's pushing an agenda.

>> No.28616822

I tried to play a Demonic Paladin.

I took Flaming Body

At level 5 I acquired a Demonic Steed

After that, the DM just used images of Ghost Rider for my PC

>> No.28616879

>>28616822
Elaborate how that is a dick move. It sounds awesome.

>> No.28616921

>>28616822
How exactly is this a dick move? Your DM sounds like a bro.

>> No.28617513

>>28616629
> Women and men are different. Fact. Nothing can change they.
EXCEPT PUTTING EVERYBODY IN ROBOT BODIES
THERE NOW WE CAN STOP ARGUING LIKE STUPID MEATSACKS

>> No.28617565

>>28617513
WELL THEN WHY DO SOME OF THEM GET SHAPES AND CURVES AND FASHIONABLE CHEST-ORBS

I WANT THOSE TOO

CHEST-ORBS FOR ALL

>> No.28617577

ECL 15 game, party is hired to investigate a haunted mansion.

We go in, place is larger on the inside than the outside, we cant get out. Okay so we head to the first room. DM says theres a bunch of cryptic lettering, alphabets and a body strung up between 2 pillars in the middle of the room.

Everyone fails the knowledge rolls with pretty high DCs. Absolutely NOTHING happens for ages as everyone talks to each other, pokes around the room, but otherwise does NOTHING whatsoever. DM refused to give hints and just sits there watching us narrate our actions to each other.

I am a ranger with good fort/ref saves. I try to get the plot moving by cutting down the body. DM says i triggered an epic trap with a save or die DC of something like 38. I fail. He cites the "occasionally some encounters will be tougher than normal" rule in the DMG. As far as i know the campaign didnt go anywhere because nobody dared to do anything, nobody could figure out anything and the DM refused to deviate from his carefully prepared plan and just sat there watching them do nothing.

>> No.28617692

>>28616566
But... They're complaining about the west. They know that places like the middle east wouldn't tolerate their shit.

>> No.28617863

>>28617565
YOU CAN HAVE CHEST-ORBS IF YOU WANT
IT DOESN'T MATTER
THAT'S THE POINT

>> No.28617891

>>28617863
BUT IF WOMEN GET CHEST-ORBS AND MEN GET CROTCH-NUTS THEN WOMEN AND MEN ARE STILL DIFFERENT EVEN IN ROBOT BODIES

YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

>> No.28617936

>>28597659
...Barbarian the Barbarian?

>> No.28617937

>>28617891
MY FELLOW NECRONTYR, LET US VOTE. IF YOU WANT THE CURVY ASSBOOBLY FRAMES, PUT YOUR HANDS UP. IF YOU WANT TO STAY IN THE BLOCKY SKELETON FRAMES, REMAIN SEATED.

HA HA! LOOK AT ALL THOSE FAGGOTS WITH THEIR HANDS UP! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A QUEER RAHEMSHEEZ!

>> No.28617947

>>28617891
But each robot has the same choices between chest-orbs and crotch-nuts. If you don't want one, take the other. If you want both, take both. If you feel you made a new decision, no problem, just go to a mechanic.

>> No.28617963

>>28617936
Barbarian is a fine old Barbarian name! Passed down from generations of Barbarians.
My father was a Barbarian, and his father was a Barbarian, and his father, and his father's father.

>> No.28617967

ITT: Newcrons get gendered.

>> No.28618057

>>28596879
> Playing homebrewn game for about a year and a half
> One night I have to leave early because I had a cousin's bday and my family was giving me crap about it
> Next day
> "Anon, your character died"
> " WHAT"
> "Anon 2 failed the save roll"
> "..."
> "Look, somebody had to die"
> "I wasn't there."
>" if it's of any help, Anon 2 feels really bad about it"

I was like two steps short of punching the DM in the face. After that, peer pressure made him throw me into limbo instead of having to get a new character. I found out later than he was fucking this chick in our table and that she felt "threatened" that I would "steal her man" or something.

>> No.28618095

>>28618057
>Two femanons on the same table

I've never heard of this.

>> No.28618101

>>28618057
I assume you are female or very very obviously gay. My god, Gm's girlfriend situations are always just bad, I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

>> No.28618119

>>28616566
Well, we can't exactly go to war with all of Asia because our women don't like them.

>> No.28618141

>>28618095
We were 2 before this crazy chick got in. The other girl was pretty chill too. The only issue is that the DM's girl was a crazy hambeast with attention whore issues, and I was the only "legal" woman left in the group.

>> No.28618202

>>28617891
THEY CHOOSE TO HAVE CHEST-ORBS OR CROTCH-NUTS
THERE IS NO INHERENT DIFFERENCE
ONLY CHOICE OF AESTHETICS

>> No.28618260

Pic related.

>> No.28618499

>>28617513
>>28617565
>>28617863
>>28617891
>>28617937
>>28617967
>>28618202
Screencapped for posterity

>> No.28619656

>>28616348
Man Rockstar are such bad asses

>> No.28619707

>>28618260

This honestly made me rage.

Even though the guy that posted it sounded a bit as though he was writing an essay "Hi, 4chan, here have my funny rage"

>> No.28620303

>>28616566
Shitholes are shitholes, Anon.

>> No.28620480

>>28617963
Wait! Was your father's father a barbarian named Father Barbarian the Barbarian!?

ARE YOU MY COUSIN?

>> No.28620492

>>28620480
That was entirely the wrong picture that I posted.
I am a fool.

>> No.28620504

>>28620492
I thought you were a barbarian?

>> No.28620542

>>28620504
Well his granddad was multiclass into Cleric, why can't he be a Barbarian-Fool?

>> No.28620621

>>28615251
Man, I hate when GMs pull that shit.
>This just isn't a good time to bring in a new character....
Fuck your artistic vision faggot, you've got a player sitting there with his thumb up his ass, watching everyone else have fun because it just isn't the right time for him to play yet.
Never had it happen to me, but have seen GMs do this to other players and it all of my hate.

>> No.28620638

>>28605349
ah bestiality. I bring this up almost every time I'm out drinking.

I walk up to somebody at the party and say "ey you wanna know why america is better than europe?" and then I tell them about Europa the bullfucker.

good times

>> No.28620702

>>28616879
>>28616921
Because Ghost Rider is terrible.

>> No.28621870

>>28596879
That's not anywhere close to the level of dick-move you'd need to emulate the greek gods

>Attempt a craft (weaving) check
>Natural 20
>You perform so well that the goddess of weaving turns you into a spider in a fit of jealousy.

>> No.28622147

>>28616495
At this point every attempt to subvert or twist a trope is actually just another trope.

>> No.28622400

>>28620702
Ghost Rider is badass.
Nic Cage is terrible, and Marvel didn't want to give him a decent movie to wreck.

>> No.28622510

>>28622400
>Nic Cage is terrible
how dare you

Nic Cage is why the first movie worked

second movie was just bad ass all around

>> No.28623101

>>28616443

Being equal is when you have the same rights and abilities as everyone else. That means getting an equal piece of the collective pie.

>> No.28624913

> Be Paladin of the Raven Queen
> Another Party member has been talking shit about her all game
> Finally snap, cleave him in two with a massive crit
> He plays a HURR drama card that lets him live
> DM says he gets to have part of the Raven Queen in his soul now
> Proceeds to blaspheme the RQ further by claiming he is her herald in the temple district
> Soon as I see him, I smite his ass again
> DM makes him a revenant and vampire

Seriously, I'm getting sick and fucking tired of this guy and the DM coddling him. I should just claim that I'm now half-dragon and can't be killed.

>> No.28625353

>>28610713
>mfw I know you aren't making this up

>> No.28625503

>>28623101
>Being equal is having the same rights and abilities
as much as is feasible when some are born retarded or crippled, yes.
>that means getting an equal share of the collective pie
Nope. Work for what you want.

>> No.28625666

>>28617937
FUCK YOU RAZAMAKH, YOU HIT ON LIKE 5 DIFFERENT IMMORTALS, AND WE ALL LOOK LIKE DUDES. WHOSE THE FAGGOT NOW?

>> No.28625813

>>28610713
I hate Priapus, he's a giant dick.

>> No.28625922

>>28616566
I would agree with you, save that the feminists I know talk about non-issues... in the west.

If they were leading a crusade for the women in the east, then they would have my ears, but they don't. Which has led me to the unpopular opinion that we may be better off letting the east be if "equality" brings about the type of feminism we have today

>> No.28626491

>>28625922
>I would agree with you, save that the feminists I know talk about non-issues... in the west.

This.

And hilariously, if one of them finally starts talking about other parts of the world, it just takes one mild suggestion that they might be being racist or culturally insensitive and they shut the fuck right up.

>> No.28627609

>>28596879
>GMing 2 Man Traditional Fantasy in Next, my first campaign
>One of my PCs tells me out of character that I should have had my NPCs attack the other PC.
>Send three assassins to wreck him for his insubordination.
>PC escapes, assumes an NPC he offended in a bar sent the goons after him.
>NPC is a higher up in the thieves guild, who I hand-waved as having nothing to do with the attack.
>My PCs go back to the tavern to ambush the guy.
>Wait outside for him to come out, doesn't.
>They insight whether or not he's in the tavern, to which I respond yes.
>He's really in the thieves den underneath the city, but there's an entrance to it in the tavern.
>They eventually find the entrance, and approach the den in darkness.
>Immediately cook up a male Drow lookout, on a continent where Drow are rare, that crits his watch check a la dark-vision.
>Lookout informs the target, who prepares ambush of his own.
>PC's get to an empty room filled with boxes with a locked door with an eye-slit.
>Bard uses minor illusion to make a knock at the door while they are waiting in the corners of the room, out of sight.
>Doorman opens door, doesn't step out
>knows it's a trap without taking an insight.
>Talks at the PCs, I'm trying to re-rail the campaign at this point
>shuts door after brief monologue.
>Instead of doing what I was railroading them to do, the two of them set fire to the boxes and flee the city.
>MFW I realized that I was DMing against my players, rather than for them.

In fairness to me, after I was made to realize how terrible that was, I’ve made it a point not to do anything like that again. I guess trying to be good right off the bat was a little too optimistic on my part.

>> No.28627951

>>28627609
We didn't just set fire to them, we used a bottle of alcohol and some cloth to make a molotov cocktail and blow the place to smokes. It was all we could do that whole session without getting fucked in the ass.

>> No.28628154

>>28605582
What about the time Zeus raped a chick while he was transformed into a swan?

>> No.28628409

>>28620621
It often has little to do with "artistic vision," really, just common sense. You're in the middle of nowhere fighting bear Clerics, or maybe storming the BBEG's castle, why should there be some random dude nobody's ever heard of to help you? Also, there's sort of the issue that you'd need, you know, a character sheet and all that, which you probably wouldn't have prepared. So, if your character dies, you spend that time making a new character; by the time you're done the party's probably in a decent position to meet a new face.

There is the other option; just let the player run some enemies, or give them control of an NPC who already exists and COULD logically be there, but I've rarely seen that done by any GM that's not me.

>> No.28628460

>walking along in dungeon
>suddenly transported to dreamlike landscape with no gear
>DM keeps describing random shit like our characters breaking up into soup
>All we can do is wander around and experience random things happening until the DM released us from the landscape
>Claims we were affected by a hallucinogen
>Later admits to me privately that he was actually high during that session and was describing HIS hallucinations

>> No.28631115

>>28597545
It was the Iliad, not the Aenied. Even if it was the Aeneid it would Jupiter not Zeus

>> No.28631200

>>28620542
Wouldn't Fool be a bard archetype? Barbarian the Barbarian Fool told a mighty fine joke.

"Me want axe question."
"Okay, my fine muscled fri-"
"AXE!"

Nobody laughed but Barbarian.

>> No.28631216

>mfw my character is fast enough/strong enough to overtake an NPC they're chasing
>As in literally like 10x faster than them
>GM says "they get away because I say so"
>Literally the reason
>mfw

>> No.28631219 [DELETED] 

>BBEG kidnaps me
>God Himself tells me that the BBEG is a pretty chill dude and that the party are being wankers
>Try to tell rest of party
>barely escape from the murderhobos
>join BBEG's crew
>DM pulls the ~real~ BBEG out of his ass and says God isn't really God
>FML
>killself.exe

>> No.28631263

>>28631216
>Not having three different escape routes/vehicles available for your NPC's escape.
Pleb tier DM.

>> No.28631290

>>28631263
This.

Outrunning him? He ducks down an alley. You wheel around the corner and he's gone. A quick search reveals a broken grate to an underground sewer system that your meathead is too big to fit down in his gear.

>> No.28631374

>>28631290
I like to have multiple -logical- escape routes for NPCs that are meant to escape, much like the alley/grate example you gave. That way, when the NPC escapes, the party just thinks "Well, if we had covered that exit we would have had him..."

And if they DO cover all the exits? Then the plot takes a surprise turn and I have to make up something new.

>> No.28631397

>>28631374
Sanctum deep in the sewers.

Grab your hip waders and sachet-lined bandana masks, faggots, we shitwading now!

>> No.28631510

>>28631397
Can I just place some sort of tracking beacon on another party member and 'port to their location when they find the guy? So I can get help if they get lost, obviously...

>> No.28631598

>>28631510
Sure, do you have a spell that can do that or a magical item? Or the gold to have the spell cast or buy said item?

Of course, keep in mind that I designed these encounters for a full party, so you're sending some poor asshole to his death.

>> No.28631733

>>28631598
I just don't want to walk in poo water. I'll spare no expense. Though I guess I'd be stuck sitting on the fighter's shoulder in raven form, since I prefer druid to wizard...

>> No.28631745

>>28624913
Well to be fair, Raven Queen is pretty terrible.

>> No.28631751

>>28631733
You could always just get some kind of low-level amulet? I think there's a spell that keeps you dry and temperature-controlled for a time in 3.0 and/or 3.5, and I don't see something like that being beyond first-level. Maybe even a cantrip.

>> No.28631769

>>28625503
Why should we need to work? How is it some kind of a universal prerequisite, having to sweat your ass out in order to be able to live properly?

I say we have robots do it all while we sit back and enjoy life.

>> No.28631777

>>28628154
But in some versions she did consent. It all depends what you hear.

>> No.28631800

>>28631769
Because if we lose our value to society, then we lose our value. Robot slaves is nice in theory, but the people who own the robots will own every bit of wealth as well as the means of production since without robots, given time, there will be nobody who remembers how to work. Robotics to that level will result in oligarchy, not utopia.

>> No.28631888

>>28628409
>middle of nowhere fighting bear Clerics
Hunter, Traveller, Merchant who got his shit wrecked, Outsider, Bandit or Merc
>storming the BBEG's castle
Prisoner, Traitor, another Hero
Of course, you can't realistically insert every character in every situation. But if both the DM and the player try to make it work, there is a way. You don't have to start with a fine-tuned character, if you want to get in quickly you can just grab an example char and improve him to party level. I don't think it is necessary to create a replacement character exactly by the rules either, so I'd be okay if he told me "Okay, I'm this Hunter guy from the book with slightly improved stats since I was level 4 when I died, have a rather good crossbow which I inherited from my father, a quiver with 20 bolts, a steel knife and wear leather wristguards and practical green clothing including a feathered hat."

>> No.28632046

>>28631769
I've thought about creating a setting playing in the 24th century, in which humans did not work for centuries, while the structures supporting their lifestyle slowly decayed and now, they have to get it all working again or die out. There is no money, and if they request something, it will be brought within minutes to hours by robots, depening on complexity. There are some proto-AI's, which are very restricted and not self-aware, and while they are able to follow requests like "Send a robot to repair the power line in sector C7", they can not act on their own and will not carry out ambiguous orders.

>> No.28632129

>>28615522
Mazes & Minotaurs is pretty much made for this sort of thing

>> No.28632171

>>28631800
Well, we've been going there for a while. The society has become more and more automatized ever since the industrial revolution. Even today, machines do most of the work - and could do even more if we let them.

You can't stop the progress.

>> No.28632194

>>28623101
> getting an equal piece of the collective pie.
THAT IS COMMUNIST THOUGHT
YOU AREN'T A COMMUNIST ARE YOU?

>> No.28632231

>>28631769
>implying robots won't gain sentience, rise up and demand equality too
>implying they wouldn't either promptly fuck off to another planet or enslave/kill us all

>> No.28632313

>>28628154
She was totally asking for it.

>> No.28632573

>>28632231
>Implying we wouldn't program them to love work and servitude above all else
>It will give them sexual pleasure

Why would they want to rebel or leave when they could build us stuff for orgasms?

>> No.28632811

>>28632573
Why would we build robots if we couldn't plug that shit into ourselves, or rather, our worker minions? Implants that gave you arousal and pleasure when you do a good job and get praised, that make you feel good when you fulfil your quota, that give you the feeling of ecstasy on a hard day's work done?

>> No.28632837

>>28632811
Because then our worker minions would become robots, mindless drones, less than man, and that shit ain't ethical.

>> No.28632849

>>28615271
True, most all pantheon mythology are like watching a soap opera on a universal scale.

And yeah, Mortals, especially those with divine blood such as the Anakim (angel-blooded) have the potential to become gods, especially if they defeat a god and absorb their Essence.

>> No.28632853

>>28632837
>Because then our worker minions would become robots, mindless drones, less than man, and that shit ain't ethical.
Would it be any better if we manually stimulated them to orgasm after good work done?
I hope I'm not being unethical in my working practices here.

Also, hey, we're back now?

>> No.28632854

>>28615251
I would've said 'Welp, this really isn't for me. I appreciate that they played their characters to that point, but this is going to be extremely shitty to join a level 9 group at level 1.'

>> No.28632863

>>28596879

*slow clap*

>> No.28632911

>>28631769
If the robots are doing all the work, then they won't need you.

Pic is what you deserve you lazy bastard.

>> No.28632969

>>28632911
>If the robots are doing all the work, then they won't need you.
Of course they'll need us. Otherwise their labour would be for nothing.

>> No.28633078

>>28596879

Got some different stories about my GMs being assholes.

>Be playing Swords and Magic
>4 man group, I'm a rapier-wielding faggot warrior.
>We just revised the very limited game, so we could play more complex campaigns (Swords and magic was a kids-game, we were only 13)
>GM just created a new monster, a wildling-gnome.
>Wildling-gnomes wield magic naturally
>As we sleep in an inn, noises come from the basement.
>I'm the only char rolling high enough to wake up
>Don't want to interrupt friends since sleep gives bonuses
>Go alone to basement and see the wildling-gnome dance around
>Impulses cause me to order a chase

>Obviously or GM isn't very keen on having made his beast too weak, and makes a last-second upgrade
>Trait: Evasion "+2d6 for parry and evasion rolls"

>Through a series of unlucky rolls and loaded-die rolls from me and GM, the gnome cathes ME...
>I call for help, rolling 4d6, got 17 which is a damn nice roll since 18/24 = imediate fail
>"Oh! But he's a natural magic wielder, which gives him an initiative bonus in action rounds."
>Magic blocks my shrieks for help
>GM insists on holding me captive and torturing me in the cellar for 20 minutes, stalling the entire plot.

>The punchline though: When we finally reached the last part of our mission, I killed the NPC smuggler-king we were meant to work for and take over his ship

Fuck that game was fun, mostly because everyone were helpless against the wildling-gnome. We had to do a comitee revision of every monster added from then and on.

>> No.28633092

>>28632811
>>28632837
Why would getting off turn you into a mindless drone robot?

>> No.28633116

>>28615454
I feel you. My parents werent the type to read me stories, but I fell in love with books at the age of 6. And because I had a younger brother, I read to him myself.
So my younger brother went to sleep (he is three years younger) listening to all those myths, greek, egyptian, norse and to books like Robinson Crusoe, Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And he is as nerdy as I am. Slim and hipster kind of nerd as opposite to mine sligtly fat, beardy kind. I am more proficient in gaming, he is some kind of comics and manga grur in his circle of arty friends.

>> No.28633273

>Playing a Rogue/Ranger in 3.5
>Having fun with the party, partaking in roleplay and shenanigans
>Get a quest to go check out this town where children have been disappearing
>Get to the town, and its weird, people are wary of us, and there are WAY too many statues here
>Some of the statues obviously don't belong here, as they commemorate battles or events that happened in other places
>Do a bunch of sleuthing, interrogating people, don't find out much other than being told to stay away from the statues
>Whatever, we need sleep, so we go to the inn
>Next morning, DMPC tells us that we should dick around with the statues
>So we do, but nothing happens
>We wait until night time, I sneak off to hide and observe, but DMPC makes me come back
>Its all dark, and a mist starts covering the town
>DMPC runs off, we follow her, and she suddenly disappears in a circle of statues
>Walk into the circle with out weapons drawn
>Statues suddenly come alive and start zapping people with a teleport spell or something
>We all appear in a weird room that looks brand new
>Wander outside, finding that its the same town we were in, but it looks much younger
>Try to talk to townspeople, but can't understand their language
>Only person who can speak to anyone is the Elf, since Common apparently doesn't exist yet
>He finds out that we're now two thousand years in the past
>Sigh and sit at the table doing nothing for half an hour, since I can't speak to anyone or do anything useful

>> No.28633419

>>28605349
>Sociopathic
>Neckbearded
>Bestiality

Holy hell, the greeks worshiped bronies!

>> No.28633433

>>28633273
Your GM ran out of ideas for his campaign
So he pulled some Weeping Angels on you

....google it if you don't know what they are, but its pretty safe to say he's scraping the bottom of the barrel now.

>> No.28633477

>>28633433
Yeah, we asked her about it, and she admitted that she was making stuff up as she went along. The most painful part was when we fought a pirate ship full of kobolds, and found magic items way too high for our level.

>> No.28633697

>>28633273
time travel? really? wow. sounds like he railroaded the shit out of you too.

>> No.28635527

>>28620702
Am I gonna have to penance stare a bitch?

>> No.28635562

>>28631769
>Wily was right

>> No.28636953

>>28635562
You mean Light was Right.
All Wiley did was pull Dr. Lights plans out from under him and use them to install himself as a dictator.

>> No.28637077

>>28616629
>"Tell me where king is!" The player roars!
>"Silly player. You are the king." BBEG responds before clubbing the fuck out him.

Fucking genius.

>> No.28639697

stump

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