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[ERROR] No.28250258 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Join a new group
>Playing 4e
>DM tells me to roll to walk

New DM thread

>> No.28250282

>>28250258
Did your GM just get done playing QWOP or something?

>> No.28250288

>>28250258
I don't believe you OP.

>> No.28250292

Obviously you forget that 4th was only about rolling dice.

>> No.28250294

>>28250258
What happened next? Did you not ask him why you were rolling to walk? Maybe there were stairs? DETAILS, MAN. DETAILS.

>> No.28250313

>roll to walk

I woulda slapped his shit.

>> No.28250330

>New group with several fresh players
>I'm DM in 4e
>One player asks me if he has to roll for everything
>Spends the rest of the game yelling "Make us roll to do that!"

>> No.28250334

>>28250258
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU ROLL A FUCKING TWENTY HUH?

>> No.28250342

>>28250334

You get to run.

>> No.28250392

OP was playing a toddler.

>> No.28250402

>roll to walk
>get a 1
>crit fail
>break all bones in both my legs
>not yet started on an adventure, still in the tavern, so no cash on hand
>get my shit beaten in while I'm on the ground, stripped of everything I have on me, leaving me naked
>roll new character

>> No.28250440

>>28250402
Was your character Samuel L. Jackson and was your GM M. Night Shamalyan

captcha: was upssett. i bet he was

>> No.28250443

>>28250258
>New GM
>DM tells me to roll to walk

New how? New as in new to D&D? New to thinking? New to walking and breathing at the same time?

>> No.28250451

Was your character wearing these?

>> No.28250495

>>28250258
You should have gone along with it just to see how far down the rabbit hole goes.

>> No.28250805

>>28250451
HOLY FUCK. My feet cried out in agony just from looking at that...

>> No.28251193

>>28250805
Well, that is kind of the point

>> No.28253528 [SPOILER] 

You are now surrounded by Pic Related.

Roll to walk.

>> No.28253553

>>28253528
I intentionally step on every one.

>> No.28253570

>>28250258

>ROLL TO WALK, BREATHE, BLINK AND FEEL YOUR TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH
>1
>YOUR BRAIN CAN'T HANDLE ALL THESE SENSES AND EXPLODES

And then you spend the rest of the evening drinking and laughing about it

>> No.28253571

>>28253528
I shuffle my feet across the ground.

>> No.28253620

>roll to walk
>nat 1
>break every bone in my lower body
>roll to crawl

>> No.28253653

>>28253620

>roll to crawl
>nat 1
>your arms break from your body weight
>roll to lurch forward

>> No.28253675

>>28253653
>roll to lurch forward

>> No.28253685 [DELETED] 

>>28253528

>> No.28253690

>>28253653
>Roll to Lurch
>Nat 1
>Your spine has broken from the strain of the attempted lurch
>Roll to cry

>> No.28253710

>>28253690
>Roll to Cry
>Nat 1
>Your tear ducts are blocked
>roll to drown

>> No.28253725

Rolled 6

>>28253675

>> No.28253764

>>28250402
>roll to walk
>get a 1
>crit fail
>you're a cactus

>> No.28253772

>>28253710
>Roll to drown
>Natural 1
>Your suffering doesn't end here
>You fail at drowning

>> No.28253809

>>28253710
Alternatively
>Roll to cry
>nat 20
>your tears flood the world killing millions
>the world is never the same

>> No.28253838

>>28253764
I'm okay with this.

>> No.28253898

>>28253772
Failing to drown is not a bad thing.

Last week one of my players lost control of a horse and ran over a buried hamlet. As they went over a thatch roofed cottage I had him roll ride to see how fucked up he, his horse, the cart, and the two wolfs chained to the cart would be

> natural 20

> everything that fell through the hole seems to just slowly lower into the champer as if on an invisible elevator

>> No.28253960

>>28253898
>slowly lower into the chamber
>Not stand in the air in defiance of gravity
Do you even nat 20?

>> No.28253981

>>28253838
I know what my next character is. Cactus treant.

>> No.28253996

>>28253981

Backstory, he just wants to be loved and huge people

>> No.28254004

>>28250451
>>28250805
It is as though a thousand mouths cry out in pain!

>> No.28254142

>>28253764
>>28253838
>>28253981
>>28253996

>> No.28254210

>>28254142

I wanna make a monk Saguaroi.

>> No.28254393

>>28250342
When you can't walk, you crawl. And when you can't do that, you find someone else to carry you.

And you hope they don't roll as badly as you do.

>> No.28254488

Rolled 12

>>28254393
I wonder how much Samwise Gamgee rolled then

>> No.28254893

>>28253996
>huge people
You're gonna need some enlargement spells for this one.

>> No.28255121

>>28254893
I cast an enlargement spell on the barbarian once. It was horrible. Still haven't got the stains out of that robe.

>> No.28255214

>Roll to exist

>> No.28255290

>>28250258
>4e

>> No.28255732

>>28250258
>Roll a 1
>Critical Fail
>Trips. No, throws self headlong into the ground.
>So stunned by failure to to walk you forget you're falling.
>Misses the ground.
>Starts flying.
>Thousands of feet in the air.
>Realize what just happened.
>The universe also realizes what just happened.
> The universe is not happy with this blatant disregard for the laws of physics.
>Bitch slaps you with gravity.
>Plummet towards the earth.
>Survive fall.
>Lie broken and twisted on the ground in agonizing all consuming pain for what seems like an eternity.
>Pray to all the gods know and unknown for someone, something, anything, anything at all, to end this hell.
>Your plea is heard.
>Your suffering ends at long last.
>Sweet oblivion finally embraces you by the way of the Vogons demolishing your entire planet to make way for a hyperspace bypass.

Good job asshole.

>> No.28255921

>>28253898
>Skill check
>Nat 20 and Nat 1 allowed

Pick both, and go check the rules.

>> No.28256250

>>28250258
There's actually a system where you roll to walk. The DC is one, so it's humanly impossible to fail unless you get a leg injury or something. The rulebook also says to skip any roll where bonuses/penalties result in the player succeeding or failing regardless of the number they get.
The system is called d10 cyberpulp, for anyone who's interested. It's made by one guy and still in testing. http://button.moddb.com/members/open-sketchbook/blogs/hardboiled

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