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[ERROR] No.28202669 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Someone requested some Krieg-based writefaggotry and I decided to oblige them.

I stared at the holomap, watching my battalion's advance through the ork territory, their icons all flashing with indication of having established contact with the orks.
Orks. Vile barbarians, creatures without the Emperor's Light. None more than primal beasts, they needed to be purged, for the sin of their xenos heresies.
For such, I had been called to this world, leading the 437th, 902nd, and 777th Krieg regiments.
We were the spearhead to pave the way for our fellow guardsmen, the Tallarn 204th, and the Cadian 0603rd, both of which were supported by the Elysian 399th.
We had no need of such support.
Each regiment's respective commander around the map, Colonel Zin-Narud, Colonel Tobial, and Colonel Jovial, all glancing at their separately colored battalions with anxiety.
They had all said this plan was too risky. Estimates of 50% or more casualties. They feared for the safety of their men.
The Death Korps has no care for this weakness.
This plan would strike deep into the heart of the ork-held zone, distracting our foe from the Astartes Strike team that was to be dropped covertly behind enemy lines. It would end the war 13 months faster than its previous state would have called for.
I remember my speech to my men as they marched off to war, the inspiration calls that Krieg must never fail again. Never to falter in the Emperor's sight. For such, we serve.
The door of the command rhino opened, and in stepped a woman clad in black, a sigil hanging around her neck bearing the Inquisitorial I, with specific sub-markings for the Ordo Xenos. She looked rather young, for whatever her age was. Inquisitors had a habit of diluting their bodies with drugs to give them a younger appearance, for some inane reason.

>> No.28202692

"How goes the push?" She asked, unbuttoning her combat jacket, leaving her chest unprotected in the case of a sudden ork attack. I fought all urges to remind her of this, but she had ignored him all the other times.
"We advance faster than expected," I said, my voice a stern crackle beneath my gas mask. The Inquisitor raised an eyebrow.
Seeing as she sought some answer, I continued "We shall have our men along the Elba in three days time, in opposition to the five we thought. I already have my logistics group working on adjusting their deliveries."
"Take off your mask, colonel, there's no need for it in here." The Inquisitor said. Initially, I was puzzled. No need for my mask? I knew the Orks reproduced through spores, and probably had a wide array of other fungus that spread in their presence. It would hamper my combat effectiveness if I suddenly caught an airborne disease.
Glancing at my fellow colonels, all of whom tried to hide their curiosity, I followed the Inquisitor's orders. Removing my command helmet, I loosened the bonds that held my mask close to my head with one hand, my other hand readying my bag for carrying it.
With a breath of the world's polluted air, I quickly slid my mask into its holding, and frowned. 2 whole seconds. I have done better than that. No meal ration for tonight.
"Shall we continue?" I asked, my voice cracking as it adjusted to the new mixture of chemical gasses. My fellow colonels observed my face, likely remembering all of the scars for any form of identification, in the case a traitor tried to impersonate me.
Given no response, I returned back to the map. "As I have previously expected, the main array of orks are being diverted away from the flanks to shift directly towards my men's push, which will allow your men to march unopposed into their territory." I paused a moment as the map refreshed itself with new data.

>> No.28202711

"The 204th shall be arriving shortly at the ork machine plant, and the 0603rd will be within firing range of their generator fields by tonight." I glanced towards my regiments.
"My men will establish the line along the Elba River within the next day, and will establish a network of trenches and bunkers in which we can use for future command purposes. Pre-fabricated artillery cannons are already being towed to their position."
The Inquisitor stayed silent. "When they are finished, they shall lend assistance to your batallions, and establish a similar defensive framework along their perimeters." I continued, questioning why she stayed silent. She usually had something to offer.
I stood straight up, and saluted the Inquisitor, guessing her silent observation was due to her thinking through some plan. "My men follow their commands to the letter. If you need them readjusted, I shall send the order."
"No, no, it is fine, colonel." She said. I notice she did not make eye contact with me, as she normally did when I wore the mask. Was she unsettled by my face?
I glanced at my fellow officers, and they all performed the same reaction, as Tobial glanced down at the holomap, Jovial looked several degrees over my shoulder, and Zin-Narud stared at my ears.
"Is my face unsettling you?" I asked bluntly, putting my hand on my gas mask bag. "If you would prefer it--"
"We are fine, colonel. Thank you." The Inquisitor interrupted me. Strange: she had never interrupted me before, usually listening to my full phrase before disagreeing with me on a majority of my presented points. And she often disagreed with me. In fact, it was only the agreement of Captain Abpius of the Marines Exemplar that allowed me to put my current operation into action.

>> No.28202730

"Gentlemen, return to your command personnel, things continue as planned." She said, leaning on the holomap. I didn't understand: there were many more bunkers situated in the area with a higher frequency range for communication or astropathic messages. Why she needed this rhino was a mystery to me.
Nonetheless, I snapped my boots together and saluted. The other colonels cast weary looks at each other, their bodies tired after several nights of continuous monitoring and planning. They were weak. I did not despise this aspect, though, as leader of this operation, I ensured their schedules were organized to make them stronger. They all nodded to the Inquisitor as they grabbed their belongings and left.
Stopping before the door, I began to open up the bag of my gas mask, when the Inquisitor called for me. "Not you, Colonel. I need you for a while."
Inwardly irritated that she had given an unspecified time measurement, I returned my gas mask and walked back to the holomap.
"What is it you ask of me?" I asked, my eyes glancing between her and the holomap as it refreshed.
She finally met my eyes. "What happened to you?"
Confused, I declared my lack of understanding. "I am unsure of what you mean."
"I have travelled the stars for many years, but..." She waved her hand in the direction of my face. "What are you?"
Still confused, I answered, "I am a loyal son of Krieg, nothing more."
She shook her head. Still puzzled, I continued “I am the Colonel of the 437th, 902nd, and 77th Krieg Regiments, and acting General of all Imperial Guard Soldiers on this planet.”
“How old are you?” She breathed.
“By the standard measurement of Terran years, my age would be 19.” I replied.
“You’re a child.” The Inquisitor breathed. She stared into my eyes, her eyes capturing the depth of my spirit. I felt her try and peer past, as if she was attempting to reach deeper into my mind.

>> No.28202755

“I ascended past my adolescence ever since attending the academies at the age of 6.” I informed her.
“Is this what the Imperium has worked towards?” She asked, glancing down at the holomap.
“The Imperium works to defend the Emperor and all of His--” I started.
“No, I mean, sending children to war.” The Inquisitor asked, looking back at me, a horrified look upon her face.
“I have told you, Inquisitor, I am no child. As with all of my soldiers, we have grown past our childhoods and fight as strong as any other soldier.” She gave me a worried look. “The Cadians and several other worlds practice this same measure of conscription, so our practice is not an abnormality.”
I tilted my head quizzically. “My four brothers and I have all served since we have matured into fighting adults. My eldest brother was lucky, and was able to be accepted a year earlier due to my father’s grooming.”
The Inquisitor glanced at my face, and bit her lip, as if I reminded her of someone.
“It is our duty to serve the Emperor to the last man, with all of our spirit. Why do you question it?” I remembered from she was raised from the planet of LeMagne, a culture that often sent its youth to the scholam instead of the battlefield. Perhaps their defeat at the hand of the alien Tau will teach them the error of their ways.
She shook her head. “I...” She struggled to find words, leaning onto the holomap, disrupting the information flow.
I glared down at her. The solid metal of the holomap reflected our faces. I took a moment to glance at hers. She was youthful, glowing, and her face looked like it was full of life, as each tiny detail could be seen amongst the folds of her cells . With the exception of the red skin tone around her eyes, her face showed no blemish, no faults, and was, by all means of skin condition, looking quite fair.

>> No.28202790

“The Imperium has no place for failure, Inquisitor. Krieg has failed once. We will never do so again.” With that, I decided that our meeting was done. There was no planning to of mention, and she did not have any additional schemes to interrupt my current plans. Leaving her leaning on the table, tears forming in her weakness, I stepped towards the rhino’s door, to let her begin with whatever her Inquisitorial task was.
I looked back before I set my against the rhino’s exit. Letting her emotion get in the way of the current operations. Disgraceful. Why she was crying, I could not fathom, but I guessed the reality of the Imperium had crashed down upon her, and she struggled to accept it.
I paused, wondering if I needed to assist her: to lend her comfort with her burden, but instantly rejected the idea. One needs to carry their own burden. To leave a task to another is a shameful act of laziness. Help is but a sign of one’s weakness.
“Ave Imperator,” I said in farewell, pulling on my gas mask, before stepping out the door.

>> No.28202909

Excellent, very well done. Love it.

>> No.28203026

Thank you, my good Gentleman.
Is there anything I might need to improve on? I'm always up for constructive criticism.

>> No.28203040

Can someone post that writefaggotry of the anon who did the thoughts of a Krieger? Shit was funny and a little chilling

>> No.28203066

This one?

>> No.28203121

Thanks anon. I remember that thread, asking those questions.

Krieg shall not fail again

>> No.28203175

Beautiful. Your work captures the essence of the soulless essence of the toy soldier humans that make up the Krieg regiments.

You should have a few more lines in there about the other commanders reactions to the krieger's face.

Also, comment on the kriegers face being torn, broken and lifeless and if he wasn't a commander he should be more like 14

>> No.28203404

I'm not the OP, but I like to go through lists of war crimes and crimes against humanity and apply them to the IG whenever I can while GMing Only War.
Genocide, child soldiers, sexual violence, targeting medics, fighting without uniforms, torture, straight up Rape of Nanking/Unit 731 bullshit, biological and chemical weapons. So on, so forth.

Puts it in perspective.

>> No.28203575

Your lack of faith in the Guard is disturbing. Do you wish to undergo servitor processing?

>> No.28203587

I felt that noting all the other colonel's reactions would've been a bit too much, but, looking back, I think it would've been nice.
>broken and lifeless
I was searching for those adjectives, but couldn't think of them

>> No.28203645

Yes, much like that.
I took a page from Pawns of Chaos along the way.

>> No.28203651

I feel (as a writefag myself) that I wish I got more feedback, so I just want to say, Brilliant.

Continue the story.

I want to see the inquisitor add him to her retinue and try and bring out his humanity a little, and only find that underneath the soldier there isn't anything left anymore.

He get captured and tortured by Dark eldar or something and when he gets rescued he is really non-worse for wear, not psychologically effected by it.

>> No.28203714

I'll try writing another section, I'll report back soon

>> No.28203779

Krieg is just a grimderp rip off of the Steel Legion

>> No.28203798

You made the manifest superiority of the krieg repentance-strategy insuffiiciently clear. Improve this to become a more valuable member of this squad

>> No.28203800

You're just a grimderp ripoff of someone with something valid to say

>> No.28203812

That has nothing to do with it

>> No.28203820

Krieg is a sad, repentant, confused, but incredibly obedient version of the Steel legion.

Steel Legionaries aren't clones condemend for the sins of their fathers. They don't grow up to be a soldier. And they are not less vaulable than a plasmagun

>> No.28203826

>And they are not less vaulable than a plasmagun
Yes they are. All guardsmen are

>> No.28203841

Apologies. They are not explicitly ranked lower than a plasma gun.

Civilians rank lower than a combat knife

>> No.28203860

I'm pretty sure you can buy a dozen guardsmen for the price of one plasma gun

>> No.28203881

Maybe the point of keeping Vraks going was to keep the Chaos dudes there and more easily keep track of them.

>> No.28203933

The ending leaves me perturbed, every time. It's uncanny.

>> No.28203968

I shall provide a greater amount of reference to their repentance, and shall not fail.

>> No.28204252

>No meal ration for tonight.
>denying yourself nourishment thus negatively impacting your performance
by master emperor i sentence you to 5 minutes with the vacuum cleaner

>> No.28204304

reminds me of the one line from an old ww2 videogame where your a training russian
"sir why are we training with potatoes?"
"because grenades are valuable, in fact they are worth alot more than you!"

>> No.28204308

Faith can keep a man going farther than bread.
Performance without faith is worthless.

>> No.28204317

>implying you are an inquisitor
>implying you are not less than an imperial civilian

Prepare to be purged

>> No.28204369

>Purging a non-human morale servitor
>Purging a piece of equipment more valuable than you
Your organs are needed for the colonel. Lay down

>> No.28204397

Call of Duty 2. Ah, nostalgia, back when the games weren't bad.

>> No.28204427

>you are now imagining a krieg soldier being dissected and having his organs stored for medical use while his bones are piled in front of a dog wearing a commissar hat.

>> No.28204713

Someone screencap this story? It's pretty good.

>> No.28204737

Writer's update: I think I'm about halfway done through the second part. I'll post when I've finished

>> No.28204787

you're doing The Emperor's work son

>> No.28205011

Will post when I'm done with part 2. Stay tuned

>> No.28206223

Just saying, this part is longer, so there might be a bit more discrepancies. Oh well.

Leaning on the top of the Baneblade, I have to say, it was a magnificent sight.
Guns firing on all sides. The massive percussion of artillery colliding against the crude ork walls, sending the greenskin defenders flying from the ramparts. The magnificent yells of courage as my men gained meter by bloody meter, against the maelstrom of battle.
It was glorious. Something I would never forget. The sight from behind the clear glass of my gas mask, captured for eternity within my memory.
I continued spectating the battle, fully aware of the danger I was exposing myself to. Yes, an ork might shoot at me, but the statistical chances of his shot actually hitting me were statistically low. Besides, my Faith is my shield.
“Onward! For Krieg and Imperium!” I called, as my chrono reached the designated time, as the artillery released their last barrage, turning the greenskin defenses into a ramp for them to ascend. With a rev of the engine, the baneblade, Loyalty, charged forward, all 11 guns firing at their most efficient speed. Following it were the men of the Krieg 437th, 902nd, and 777th, backed by the Cadian 0603rd, and the remnants of the Tallarn 204th. I smiled as I saw a dozen of the Elysian Assault Valkyries begin their descent towards the city, their troop bays filled with soldiers who excelled in aerial assault.
Meanwhile, the Adeptus Astartes of the Marines Exemplar were already in the city, wreaking havoc with their Assault and Land Speeder teams.
I smiled in a rare show of emotion, expressing joy at such a sight. The sight of Imperial superiority over such abominable xenos. Hideous creatures who denied the Emperor, being put into their place, with the only solution: death.

>> No.28206239

It was an honor to be chosen to deliver such a fate, as Krieg had once failed in the Emperor’s sight. To be given this chance at redemption was no easy task, but the men of Krieg would not fail again: for all of their sakes, they could not.
Loyalty’s battle cannon shook as it released a shot, bursting a crude ork tower as the tank drove up the ramp of rubble. The remnants of the tower flew across the ork defenses, cutting through another clumsily-built tower, sending it hurtling to the ground.
As Loyalty began its trek through the ork “city,” if one could really call the cannibalized hive a city, I descended back into the depths of the Baneblade, as the close quarters fighting would have left me more vulnerable.
Climbing down the dark iron ladders, I eventually came to the base level of the machine, and walked to the mobile command center stationed within its depths. Inside, stood only the Zin-Narud and the Ordo Xenos Inquisitor who had been attached to his invasion force. A number of my command staff were also inside, keeping communications open and ensuring a constant flow of information to the holomap. Entering, I saluted the two. Zin-Narud nodded in response, but the Inquisitor continued looking at the holomap.
Zin-Narud had joined with my forces ever since the destruction of the Tallarn’s vehicular pool to nearly all of ork vehicles on the planet, nearly ten times their size.
They had fought well, and destroyed many of the ork’s machines, including a Gargant titan, but at the ultimate cost of their tank division. In the aftermath, I noted how Zin-Narud had foolishly chosen to rush his vehicles ahead of his infantry support teams, a fatal flaw on his behalf. Still, it was something I could learn from. Krieg must never fail the Emperor.
“Odd...” The Inquisitor said, looking at the map. For how young she looked, she had the experience, and the arrogance, to be able to judge the situation correctly. No matter how weak she was.

>> No.28206256

Approaching, I glanced for whatever she had observed. Observing the colored icons that represented the different squadrons moving throughout the streets, I counted all their numbers and it seemed accurate. The number of foes they had engaged were about the number I would have expected. The battle seemed to be going just as we expected.
“Is there an issue?” I asked, wondering whether this might to relate to whatever task she was sent to do. The mainstay of the Astartes strikeforce was still held in reserve, and I expected them to be used in her mission as well.
“The Orks are not fighting us here.” She said.
Looking again at the map, I raised an eyebrow from behind my gas mask, despite knowing she wouldn’t notice. “I do not share your judgement on this matter.”
“I agree, with the Colonel.” Zin-Narud said, looking at the holomap. “The Orks are putting up a stand.”
The Inquisitor shook her head. “You are looking at the temporary. The majority of the Orks have already fled, and are gathering at their main fortress with the rest of their forces.”
“Orks do not retreat.” I said, recounting all my past experiences with the beast as reference. “They fight to the last.” My point was followed by the rattle of the Loyalty’s heavy bolters.
The Inquisitor tapped the holomap, directing its view away from the city. Using a system of satellite imagings, she shifted its focus towards another large city, held under the Ork’s way. At first glance, I did not notice any difference. The planet was green long before the orks had arrived, infested with plant life that left spare room for the construction of tall manufactorums or vast hives to produce material for the Emperor’s wars.

>> No.28206266

With another tap, she zoomed in on the sight, and the picture became clearer. What I thought was plantlife was a swarming crowd of orks, grouped together in a gigantic mob surrounding the city, their skin tones displaying an unknowable variety of the color green. It was such an interesting sight, the gathering of such abnormal colors in such an array... I couldn’t wait to turn it red with their blood.
“It seems you are correct,” I admitted. It was a critical mistake on my behalf: I did not task my intelligence officers to continue monitoring the status of the other ork cities.
I was arrogant in my assumption that the orks would have stayed behind to assault my forces. My failure was no worse than Zin-Narud’s. For such, I would administer the proper punishments. Reduced sleep cycle, replaced with extended physical training. My time would not be inefficiently wasted.
“But what of it?” Zin-Narud asked. “Once we clean up this city, we’ll just continue onward.” His thick moustache bounced along his lip as he spoke. “Just as we had planned.”
The Inquisitor leaned upon the holomap's edge, stroking her chin. “Stop the tank!” She suddenly yelled, as the men operating the machine decelerated the Loyalty to rest in .09 seconds. Efficient.
Looking at the Inquisitor and tilting my head, I asked, “What are you doing?”
“I don’t think you both understand orks as much as you think you do,” the Inquisitor, cold steel in her voice. “Order your troops to leave the city. Now.”
“We need an explanation--” Zin-Narud began.
I wasted no time, trusting the Inquisitor. “Send the command. Order all troops out of the city. Elysians must take any ride they can manage to get as far away from the city before regrouping. Send word to Captain Abpius that we are pulling out.” Turning to the driver, I nodded. “Take us out.”

>> No.28206283

“What the hell is going on?” Zin-Narud asked angrily.
“The Orks are blowing this city up.” The Inquisitor said with awe, as she realized her discovery. “That’s why they’ve retreated.”
“I’ve seen run away from such a fight. But you believe they’re trying to blow up this city?”
She nodded, looking more confident each second. “Underneath this city lies a power grid that supplies the energy for the next four hives. If they can unstable the energy cores, they’ll send out a force akin to a Nova cannon.”
I frowned behind my mask, unsettled by the news. Yet another failure on my behalf to inspect the hives composition before my assault. What other failures have I nearly avoided through my ignorance? I must not fail the Emperor, for He has given us this chance for redemption.
As I sought to cover my shame, the sudden thought emerged: What other heresies had the orks inflicted upon this world? It would surely take many years to purge the world of their touch, let alone the ork spores. There would be no glorious battles, only patrols and occupation work.
I glanced at Zin-Narud. For his failure to adequately use his troops, the duty should fall to him.
“When would they be able to activate such a device?” I asked, “And where would it be?”
She shrugged. “I have no idea. I just remembered that it exists. All we can do is leave as fast as we can, and hope we’re not in range of the debris.”
Zin-Narud sighed, knowing a large number of his soldiers had advanced without their Chimera transports, eager to prove themselves after the loss of their fellows. Their eagerness would cost them their lives in their retreat.
Once again, it built upon the same principles of the other lesson. Do not leave your men unsupported. Zin-Narud’s incompetence would cost his another large portion of his regiment. Weakness.

>> No.28206300

And so all they could do was wait as Loyalty traced its way back along the city streets, stopping only to avoid new sets of rubble. Every so often, the sponson heavy bolters would fire at a surviving ork, putting the beast out of its misery.
“How much longer?” Zin-Narud asked, impatiently.
“We have advanced far into the city, and more buildings have collapsed with the fighting: we’ve still a while to go.” The driver responded directly to Zin-Narud. The crewmember spoke without being spoken to: there were penalties to be had for his disregard of order.
If only he would have survived to make it.
A large boom echoed from outside the Loyalty, and I almost thought it was the battle cannon before I felt forces push me upwards. Reaching my arms out instinctively, I grabbed onto the holomap’s edge, hoping to be able to hold on, but to no avail. I was too weak. My reduced sleep cycle would be replaced with strength training.
I flew about the inside of the Baneblade, momentarily fascinated by the feeling of weightlessness whilst still within the planet’s gravity. And then my head slammed into the iron panels that line the walls, and my helmet cracked from the force, and I’m pretty sure some damage was applied to my head. The mighty blast of the explosion still echoed.
Spinning around, the force of gravity shifted, and my stomach slammed itself on the edge of a wall, now vertical, with my feet hanging over the side. The pain tore the breath from my lungs as I tried to gasp out my gas mask to no avail. With the shifting of forces, I was soon sliding along the wall before landing on another wall, only to have gravity change once more, smacking my face against a cabinet that opened itself as my head recoiled, its contents spilling out. I noticed the crack in one of my gas mask’s vision slots, and was too slow to shield it as something from some direction--left right, above, I don’t know--slammed into my face, shattering the glass of both slots.

>> No.28206312

Then, I was hurled to the floor Loyalty slammed down, and then was tossed about the tank’s sides as the mighty tank rolled around despite its massive girth. Throughout all of this, I was unable to check the fate of my fellow officers or the Inquisitor, as the confusion allowed no rest to gain an accurate perception.
Suddenly, a mighty groaning sound echoed throughout the tank, as light streamed in through the tear as the Baneblade was ripped apart by a variety of shrapnel and buildings, whether it was colliding with them, or the other way around.
I lost track of where I was or what was happening, but somehow managed to stay inside the husk of the Baneblade. After what seemed like several long weeks of an intensive campaign, the Baneblade finally came to rest.
Stumbling about, I stood up, trying to reorient myself as quick as possible. To be unable to fight would be a fate worse than death, as it meant failure to the Emperor. In my state, the Death Korps motto ran through my mind: “In life, war. In death, peace. In life, shame. In death, atonement.”
Finding my bearings, I was still in the command center, albeit, the command center was now turned 90 degrees, and I was standing on a wall. There was a massive tear in what once was the top of the baneblade, and there was a massive sheet of metal wedged through the side opposing me. If the tank had only rolled two more times...
The holomap was gone, and, quite frankly, I needed to know my position to be able to provide intelligence for my men. Kneeling, I checked the communications personnel who was strapped into his seat, his head slumped against his cogitator. Dead. A shame, too, as his head had broken the cogitator’s screen as well.
Standing up once again, I felt the shards of my gas mask poking against the skin of my face. Seeing as how my eyes were exposed to the elements, it wouldn’t make a difference if I removed my gas mask, though I feared possibly airborne effects from the explosion.

>> No.28206323

Removing the mask, I choked for a second before taking a swallow of the contaminated air. I tasted the after-effects of the explosion: it was an unnatural.
Climbing into the dark insides of the Baneblade, I called out for any survivors, but received no answer. Most of the underside had probably received the brunt of the blow, as the explosion had rippled upwards towards the unarmored bottom of the tank.
Sighing that my misinformation had cost me the lives of the Loyalty and all of its crew, I crawled up from the depths, and trying to find a case with a weapon. Checking every cabinet, I found one with a damaged lock. Opening it up, I found a lasrifle in good shape.
The weapon was well-maintained, and, despite the damage it would have sustained from rattling about in the rolling baneblade, everything was in good condition, including its bayonet. Grabbing the two las-cartridges, I checked out the other cabinets, finding an array of medical supplies. Putting them into my gas mask storage bag, and climbed out of the open hole in the Baneblade’s roof.
Outside the tank was a tumbling wreckage of debris and bodies, ork and human. A few buildings for sturdy rockrete stood, but the majority of the structures had been toppled in the explosion. As I took a step onto a large piece of the baneblade’s hull, I still heard the echoes of collapsing buildings. Taking a notice of any possible positions for ork sharpshooters, or whatever their equivalent was, I began to make my way around the debris, checking for survivors.
I found two of my own guardsmen in poor condition, one without an arm, and the other had a large shard of metal in their leg. Assisting the one-armed trooper, I removed the metal from the wounded guardsman, gave him an injection to numb the pain, and then set off, the two in tow. Coming upon an ork corpse, I gave it a test with my bayonet and got no reaction, satisfied, I pushed onwards.

>> No.28206337

The next corpse I encountered was the Inquisitor’s. Well, it wasn’t her corpse: she was still alive, I realized after further inspection, she had merely gone into a comatose state.
Her head was bleeding for a concussive wound against the rockrete, and one of her legs was caught underneath a giant slab of rubble.
I noted that we would be unable to remove the slab and save the Inquisitor, so we only had to result to our next option. Amputation.
Telling my other guardsmen to search around for any other survivors, I raised my lasrifle to my shoulder, and adjusted its charge setting to high. Checking my aim to be at the correct angle, I fired at the base of her knee, melting through her kneecap and the adjacent bones. If she was alive, she did not make a sound. For her weakness, she had strength, even in this state.
Taking out the bayonet, I went to work on the remaining flesh of her leg, slowly cutting my way through the meat that wasn’t burned by my las shot.
Taking a couple minutes, I eventually finished the procedure, using some of the cloth of her former shin to seal the wound, applying a sanitizer to make it act as a bandage as well. Wrapping up her leg, I began carrying her in my arms, trying to find my fellow guardsmen.
Walking down a piece of debris the worked as a ramp, I noted the pleasant sense of architecture that the rubble had made, as a series of rockrete chunks formed an overhead shelter, protecting me from any aerial foes.
Eventually, I found my comrades, who had gained two more in number, and were in the process of assisting a third in recovery. Nodding to the troopers, we continued on.
“Which way is it back to our front?” I asked one of the soldiers.
One bearing a weakly lit auspex pointed to our left, so we all followed his direction. Along the way, I heard the Inquisitor lightly moan.
“Shh....” I whispered her. “Sleep will help you cope better...”

>> No.28206352

But as her body awoke, she noticed something way wrong. “What...what-what is... my leg...I...I-can’t, my leg I...” She started, speaking wildly.
“I know,” I said, and continued carrying her. She would have to know the pain. The wound was cleaned and sealed, and the majority of the damage had already been over. There might be others who need the painkillers.
I pondered on the aspect of what would happen if the Inquisitor were to die in my arms. Would I have failed the Emperor, by not saving His agent, or would the action go unnoticed, as few besides the high ranking officers knew of her prescence.
But, tactically speaking, she knew more than I did, I must admit. For this, she was critical to our survival, plus whatever plans she had laid for the future. Even though she had her weaknesses.
She mumbled something in my arms, and I glanced down at her. She weakly waved her arm towards the top of a rubble pile. Did she want to survey the area? We did need to get an idea of our surroundings, especially with the terrain change. Though, the spot would be dangerously out of cover, which would be risky if any orks had survived. Calculating the factors within my head, I opted for her suggestion.
Calling for one of the men, I sent his to scout towards the top of the pile. Slowly creeping his way up, the guardsman eventually made it to the top, without any interference. Upon reaching the peak, he stared down at something which I couldn’t see.
Not wishing to make a sound to alert any hidden enemies, he motioned for me to come up with him. Handing the Inquisitor’s body to one of the other guardsmen, I made my way up, climbing amongst chunks of rockrete and rebar, until I stood alongside the scout. Glancing down, I looked into a small crater, and, in the middle, speared at least 2 meters deep on a large metal pole, was colonel Zin-Narud, his insides wrapping around the pole’s length.

>> No.28206363

Climbing down to investigate with the trooper, I slowly descended into the crater, until reaching the Talarn colonel. Staring at him, I noticed his eyes move in their sockets in my approach.
Despite his injuries, he gasped “Help....me...”
Amazed at the fact that he had survived such a wound, as well as the toss from the baneblade, I looked at him, judging his fate. It was true, he had failed multiple times, and the death of most of his regiment lay in his hands. He was inefficient.
But he was a colonel of the Imperial guard, and would need to be treated as such. His life would be saved if possible, for he held a large amount of intelligence and skills that many lesser men lacked.
However, for Zin-Narud, it would be impossible to save his life. Even attempting to remove him from the pole would kill the man, and detaching him from his insides would leave him dead before they reached the next set of rubble.
In all senses of the world, he was dead no matter which way they went.
Seeing this thought process go through my eyes, Zin-Narud weakly tried to beg. “No...please...” Cowardness, another weakness. The inability to accept his fate and stalwartly die. No matter.
“In life, war. In death, peace. In life, shame. In death, atonement.” I said, raising my las rifle. Without sparing a second thought, I pulled the trigger and killed the officer, sparing him the pain of a lasting death. For, in his death, he was atoned of his failure, as a blessed member of the Imperium.
But for all of my fellow guardsmen, we were not. We had failed the Emperor, long ago, and no matter how much blood we spilled, we can never forget that fact. We shall eternally seek atonement for our sins, no matter the cost to ourselves. For Krieg expects no more from any of them besides their best. The Emperor expects no more.
Returning to my impromptu squad, I took the Inquisitor back from the arms of my comrade.

>> No.28206373

She was semi-conscious, and was able to speak for a little while. “Is he...?” She asked.
“Yes.” I answered.
“Why...?” She asked, but was broken off by a cough.
“He couldn’t be saved.”
She coughed gain. “Why...me?” She asked, finishing her question.
I didn’t reply immediately. “You are critical to the mission.”
“Crit...” She started, but the remainder of the word fled from her mind. “Where...?”
“Our base. We’re going to safety.”
She was silent after that, and she closed her eyes. As I thought she had returned to her comatose state, I heard two faint words. “Thank...you...”
I would not fail.

>> No.28206408

Oh man, that was great. The ending was a bit wonky, and I didn't go through for serious editing. I hope everything turns out alright.
If you got any criticisms, please post: being better at what we do is an aspiration for us all, not just our Krieger Colonel.

Boy, I'm tired. Sweet dreams, /tg/.

>> No.28206425

Very nice, I liked it.

I think you should write something from the perspective of a Kreiger suddenly at peace.

Like, the Emperor suddenly woke up, wiped out everyone who isn't the Imperium and the Kreigers are left alive.

Maybe have the Colonel being courted/trying to be normalized by the inquisitor, but have absolutely no idea what is happening until being told by an outsider.

>> No.28206552

pretty good, would read again. grammar needs some work in the second part
>the statistical chances of being hit were statistically low
also, second part seemed less... calculating. you moved to more first person and less objective, just seemed like an odd change of perspective from the first part. keep em coming, you've got a talent for kreigers.

>> No.28206574


Also needs more clipped language. Shorten your sentences. Kriegers deliver information, they don't dissemble.

>> No.28206588

not bad
i suggest writing about a kreig soldier and a penal gaurdsman
oh the shenanigance

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