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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.28096368 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Guys I just wanted to share this. General /tg/ humor thread, if you want.

>> No.28096393

This is how rouge went

>> No.28096427

>> No.28096433

first pathfinder rogue*

>> No.28097280

DM: The mysterious [insert profession with a lot of contact with people] want's you to go to [faraway, mysterious, deadly dungeon] and retrieve [potential MacGuffin].
Me: Okay, let's shake on it.
>Grab [mysterious figure's] hand.
Me: Smite Evil.
DM: Sonofagoddamnbitch!

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>that filename

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>> No.28097796

Read that whole thing in their respective voices.

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>> No.28097836

I really want there to be a "/tg/ sings" of this.

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/tg/ humor?

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>> No.28098192

>2007 4chan
>it's been 6 years since 4chan was good
Fucking hell, where do the times go?

>> No.28098202

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>> No.28098227

>implying 4chan was good in 2007

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>> No.28098235

Ya got me man... but no tears now, except tears from laughter.

>> No.28098242

Good is relative to its quality now.
Which is bad.

>> No.28098243

>a meme forced by corporate advertisers was good

>> No.28098266

>> No.28098275

>Chunk of pure evil from a toaster in England

I /swear/ I saw this in a movie once. Goddamn, now it's bugging me.

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>> No.28098349

Time Bandits

That ending was fucking weird man.

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Time Bandits

>> No.28098390


>Supporting the evil matriarchy

Not even once.

>> No.28098394

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>> No.28098421

>cutting off the final frame

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>> No.28098445

Didn't know there was more to this pic.

>> No.28098473

The Rape Monster pic, I mean...

>> No.28098479

It's one frame of the demon violently raping her while she ahegaos and the other people in the background flee in terror.

>> No.28098501

>> No.28098507

That's fantastic

>> No.28098517

Ah, okay.
wtf is an "ahegaos," anyway?

>> No.28098527

This kind of face

>> No.28098536

So, uh

Could someone uh

post it

>> No.28098543

A comically distorted O-Face. It has come to be a genre of weeaboo porn.

>> No.28098554

Like this

>> No.28098556

Genre? It's a fucking staple.

>> No.28098584

I already would have if I had it, sorry.

>> No.28098592

>> No.28098604

I like to think they are bros trying to fistbump each other, but the snake hand foils them every time. A tragedy, of sorts.

>> No.28098611

>> No.28098613

Ah, okay.

>> No.28098621


huh, was just thinking about how dating that screencap is. if you posted that shit today you'd just get told to go to reddit. or 9gag, or some shit.

sort of like advice guardsman here

>> No.28098626

>tfw no well-drawn doujin without ahegaos, "oh, you're impregnating my cervix with your penis! <3" ridiculous fetishes and stuff like that

I'm so hardcore normal sex has become a fetish to me.

Not even invoking the missionary sex meme, I just want some normal sex with handholding and kissing

>> No.28098637


>> No.28098641 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 



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>> No.28098658

>his dick is so big he can make her stomach bulge while holding her above his head
>tfw you will never be a rape demon

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Didn't someone make a comic out of this story?

>> No.28098701

Why are these two separate images instead of just one?

>> No.28098717

>Not Final Destination

>> No.28098721

Because I was left in charge of screencapping, and I'm terrible at it.

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I like number 14.

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>> No.28098924

The Contract Is Sealed!

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>> No.28098961

Ah, thank you. Can't believe I forgot the movie starring a child and a group of time-traveling midget bandits. Such a classic.

>> No.28098972

Aww, you fucker, I was just about to post that. I requested it, after all.

>> No.28098984

10/10 thread
id post stuff but i have nothing to offer

>> No.28098985

I remember a quest thread from years ago that starred a gelatinous cube, who had swallowed enough intelligence-enhancing doodads to give it sentience. I traveled around with a possessed skull in a tin can.

Easily my favorite quest thread, too bad it ended so soon.

>> No.28099081

Sudoku time!

>> No.28099151 [DELETED] 

leavin' this here

>> No.28099205

I helped a player make a really bizarre ooze player character once. 3.5 with lots of materials allowed. Dungeonscape has a "Sentry Ooze" template you can apply to any Ooze creature, with a smattering of benefits but mostly the fact that it gives the creature Int 2. With the game starting at level 5 and the level 4 attribute boost spent on Int, she hit the minimum 3 requirement to be a player character.

The actual Ooze she was playing at was a Living Spell. Of Disintegrate. We tweaked it so we treated her character level as the CL, and she still had to make physical contact for it to work (on a rather, pardon the pun, squishy character), so it was really useful but not broken. Her story was that her character was a magical anomaly that had spontaneously woken to intelligence, and was kind of like a traffic jam where all of the planes bumped into eachother. Her role/skill progression was all about learning to channel one bit of herself at a time, creating various magical effects and huge plumes of elemental energy, which was an awesomely convenient refluff of Dragonfire Adept. If you know anything about the class, you know its gimmick is an elementally programmable breath weapon, culminating with being able to learn to breath The Discorporating Breath of Bahamut (a Line of Disintegrate) and The Fivefold Breath of Tiamat (5 different elemental breath weapons at once.) I was rather ticked at the time about how well it all fit together.

Turns out the player just has a thing for goo girls and D/s, and was intending on going Neutral Evil with the intention to be captured, 'tamed', and trained by the party. Which suited me just fine, the player actually being a girl, being into D/s myself, and being okay with goo girls as a whole.

And then that game fell apart before the first session. Oh well. Stealing the concept.

>> No.28099276 [DELETED] 

I fail to see what this has to do with traditional games.

>> No.28099325

That is damn awesome.

And I know I'm going to regret it, but what fetish is D/s? Domination/submission?

>> No.28099342

clippy is a greater demon of slaanesh

>> No.28099443 [SPOILER] 

Thank you, and indeed. It's the broadest blanket term for all the little subfetishes that intermingle and often have to do with ropes, chains, leashes, gags, and the general subjugation of one partner to the other's will. Including this character, which would have been something akin to slavery. I spent a fuckload of time just trying to figure out how to keep something that is literally a sentient At-Will Disintegrate restrained and not killing the party. My solution only deepened the fetish rabbit hole, as it required what amounted to an antimagic field'd full-body gimp suit that was completely airtight except for a a small port for her to breathe her breath weapon out of. The field extended over the port and Living Spells can't cross antimagic fields, but breath weapons can.

Also, last sentence of my paragraph up there is supposed to be "rather tickled", not "rather ticked".

>> No.28099617


That is a really cool character conecpt.

>> No.28100073

Vaguely relatedly.

>> No.28100505

This thread is part of why I waste my days on 4chan. Thank you?

>> No.28101585

>> No.28101667

This is my next character, no doubt about it

>> No.28101679

ah dang I remember this

reverse googling didn't turn up much, what comic was that from?

>> No.28101825


>> No.28101847

I requested that! Glad to know someone else saved it.

>> No.28101874


>> No.28101922

Does this count?

>> No.28102020

Fantasy /pol/ is the worst meme.

>> No.28102042

Too lewd
Please censor, this is a blue board

>> No.28102243


>> No.28102293

>> No.28102306

daily reminder that it's your duty to always report the ERP general

>> No.28102343

If only people would be that fanatical about reporting /pol/ and /b/ threads.

>> No.28102352

Except that's abuse of the report system, and will get you banned instead. ERP General is upheld as /tg/ relevant by mods, as it should be. ERP is no less valid a choice for a tabletop game's tone or setting than any other trope or genre.

>> No.28102354

You're aware the ERP generals are cleared by the mods, right? It's okay as long as they're having actual discussion and not posting porn. Reporting it just spams the mods for no reason.

Just do like everyone else and hide them.

>> No.28102368

Does discussion include cyber-fucking?

>> No.28102388

Nope. Nor do the ERP threads. So, who cares.

>> No.28102392

Do you like eversors, anon?

>> No.28102393


It's roleplaying, so yes. I don't like the ERP-fags any more than you do but at least they keep their crap to one easily hideable thread.

>> No.28102395

That's what makes them so maddening. ERP is not a traditional game. They do not belong on a board about traditional games.

>> No.28102411

That's like saying Elves don't qualify as board-relevant material, because they aren't games.

>> No.28102431

......You know they've been publishing erotica supplements for roleplaying games since there have been roleplaying games, right? Basic D&D and Arduin both got them before the fucking ~internet~ existed. That makes it more a part of traditional games than any computer game we see on /tg/, and we get those constantly.

>> No.28102441

Oh shit I just got told.

>> No.28102450

As a GURPS player I can't stop lauging from this god damn thing.
And the worst part, that would be a fucking legal character.
I'm crying now and laughing at the same time.
jesus fuck what the fuck

>> No.28102454

By a guy who probably jerks off with other guys over make believe sexy shenanigans.

How's it feel?

>> No.28102457

My favorite girl from that manga.

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>> No.28102467

I remember that thread. That was a good thread.

>> No.28102476

>Skills: Brawling.

>> No.28102487

To be fair ERP threads are now just f-list by proxy. They used to be about actual ERPGs and gaming but now they're just freeform crap and /soc/ style rate muh profile I'm a slutty grill honest crap.
There's /tg/-related lewds, and then there's just cyberfucking. I wish the mods were able to slice the two apart and throw one away.
But anyway, we're getting off-topic.

>> No.28102488

If it can move it can use brawling to hit with it's head, beak, tail, dick, ass, wings or the whole body.
You can't gurps.

>> No.28102490

IDGAF? No, really. She looks like she could get it going from just getting caressed anyways.

>> No.28102501

Fair enough.

>> No.28102507

I meant that as he's a dangerous fellow! But you're right, I don't gurps.

It's ok, we're here for you

>> No.28102516


>> No.28102523

Come on. You're better than this.

>> No.28102533

>Come on. You're better than this.
If only...

>> No.28102582

Looking at the competitors the snake is jealous crazy, the harpy is a dumb loli, a friggin giant spider rogue, a slime, and some mermaid that got hit in the head.

There's also the fact that she's loyal, caring, and not duplicitous, with /tg/ related interests, which is more than one could say about most women, or most men.

>> No.28102628

>some mermaid that got hit in the head.
No, no, the mermaid just fetishizes tragedy. Her favorite book of all time is The Little Mermaid.

>> No.28102827

That angel is an asshole.

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>> No.28102945

These crack me up. Anyone have more?

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>> No.28103224

Since we're on the subject of jokes.

>> No.28103491

>Plays eberron setting, creates a warforged juggernaut
>Party is trying to get to mid level end boss, huge fricken door in the way with large stone walls to either side. We have a map of the dungeon from earlier and know that this is the main chamber that holds the big boss, and it will be a grind to go through the complex to open this door.
>DM says, "The door is made of solid steel, and the hinges appear to be made of admantium, no apparent opening to the door is available and it's mechanism is likely somewhere else in the dungeon"
>I say "I back up 6 squares and charge to make a sunder check"
>Dm looks at me like I am a complete idiot, then says "You know what, fine lets see if you even make a dent in it"
>Rolls a 14 on the die, DM smirks as I add in modifiers, says "It's not enough, the door doesn't budge, roll for self damage"
> I say "I wasn't aiming for the door, I'm going through the wall" DM's eyes bulge open, looks at tables, compares my results..
>".... You burst through"

>> No.28103548

He also doing something illegal, since the entire world is apparently ruled by the PC squadron and soccer moms.

>> No.28103587

Centaur Worries and Monster Musume are two different manga.

>> No.28103642

>Nor do the ERP threads.
Fahnee joek

>> No.28103772

I was waiting for this one.

I'd do it

>> No.28103967

He looks to be about five years old.

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>> No.28104089

You're a monster, you know that?

>> No.28104097

It's definitely to the extreme, but it is a world where in Europe they treated centaurs as subhuman slaves with BDSM gear as elite mounts for the nobles.

And in Japan centaurs were the nobility, but a lot of that history lingers in a "we can't forget or repeat this shit" way. It's illegal there for a centaur to even voluntarily give someone a ride because of the historical meaning. And stores can be fined for not carrying clothing that can fit all the different human subspecies.

>> No.28104421

Nah, fuck that. Big Bird is a Durulz.

>> No.28104767

Every once in a while I see something that hints at a pretty dark setting.

>> No.28104820

>Model citizen converter
My sides are gone.

>> No.28105070

>illegal for a centaur to voluntarily give someone a ride
>stores fined for not carrying clothing that can fit all subspecies
Jesus christ, who elected the tumblr social justice warriors?

>> No.28105128

And thank god for that.

>> No.28105130


>> No.28105147

Just in case if you didn't have a link to it.


>> No.28105173

I've read it, but I never noticed that glorious little detail before. Perhaps I should reread it with a more discerning eye.

>> No.28105222

I daresay this is rather obligatory

>> No.28105275

Fbading wizards, man

>> No.28105292

>> No.28105301

huh, my spoiler tags disappeared. Oh well, here have more wizards

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>> No.28105399

Huh, could've sworn I had more wizards. I'll probably post spooky stuff next, then maybe orks

>> No.28105430


I'm shocked theres no fanart of Elesh and Pinhead just broing it up.

I want a system where you can play as a Gelatinous Cube.

oh god someone please post that luchador storytime

>> No.28105452

>> No.28105536

Fun fact: los tiburon translates into "those sharks"

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>> No.28105823

you are a scholar and a gentleman

>> No.28105835

It's well treated because everyone makes mistakes about those laws and it brings suffering (in a barber shop you can't cut an angel's halo, but you can't refuse to cut an angel's hair either, so you see them sweating when scissors are close); people think those laws are exaggerated, and still the old mistrust is there, buried under real and pretended politeness, so, yeah, it's not indoctrinating as much as it's part of the setting.
Maybe it'll feel a little like social justice but it's really light.

>> No.28105861

huh, I don't have as many orks as I thought. Well, here's a few at least

>> No.28105910

That's pretty good timing on the dj phylactery subject
You flatter me, good sir

>> No.28105930

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>> No.28105999

And that's the last of the orks. Guess I'll just do the random ones I have saved

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>> No.28106155

Holy sheeeeet that's an oldie reference!

>> No.28106167

Huh, the image limit has been reached. How about that. Guess I'll be off, then

>> No.28106216

>in a barber shop you can't cut an angel's halo, but you can't refuse to cut an angel's hair either
that makes sense, it's just no denying service because of race and no cutting part of them (even if that part isn't connected to the rest of them) just like barbers aren't allowed to cut your ear. however, the other examples were stupid.

>getting fined for not having every type of clothing in your store
i'm six foot four, 215 pounds,wear a size 14 wide shoe, and live in a predominantly latino community. clothes shopping is a bitch for me, but i still don't think that stores should be punished just because i'm weird

>illegal for centaur to voluntarily give someone a ride
real equality is about giving everyone the freedom of choice, whatever that choice is

>> No.28106217

Plus there is room for mistakes as well. If it's a genuine mistake the customer can just sign off that it's OK, though it takes forever for the halo to grow back in.

And there are still a lot of elderly who still openly espouse really racist shit in public to their relatives' embarrassment.

>> No.28106250

But what of horsey rides, anon?

>> No.28106258

did anyone say what the name of this manga is yet?

>> No.28106259

>And in Japan centaurs were the nobility, but a lot of that history lingers in a "we can't forget or repeat this shit" way. It's illegal there for a centaur to even voluntarily give someone a ride because of the historical meaning.
>real equality is about giving everyone the freedom of choice, whatever that choice is
My first thought was Holocaust denial laws.

>> No.28106279

centaur's worries i believe

>Holocaust denial laws
do i even want to know what those are

>> No.28106302

A lot of clothing can be quickly adjusted to match most of their body types, since most are fully humanoid, and two types of those have wings.

The clerks panicking over not being used to sizing for an Antarctican was interesting though.

>> No.28106306

>do i even want to know what those are
Free speech - until it gets inconvenient!

>> No.28106313

In some places it is against the law to deny the Holocaust.
A lot of countries also have it in their laws that they have to teach it too.

>> No.28106321

Centaur no Nayami/Centaur's Worries.

>> No.28106323

>that slaanesh

>> No.28106340

>/tg/ humor thread
>meaningful discussion about anti rascism and holocaust denial

>> No.28106363

Bah. I accidentally wiped all my pictures folders.
When I get home I'll have to scan and reupload my Chef Beholdardee

>> No.28106455

That's pretty disgusting.

>> No.28106479

Some people find it incredibly erotic.

>> No.28106531

What are you gay?

That is a look of a woman who has been pleased. Who has had her college/highschool education fucked right out of her. If I were fucking that chick right now, I'd be damn happy because I satisfied her needs and gave her a brain shattering orgasm. THAT is what all men should strive to do in sex: make sure the girl has the best fucking orgasm each and every time you fuck her.


>> No.28106669

Do these people fuck retards and stroke victims?

>> No.28106710

They want to fuck people with minds broken by unimaginable orgasms, not blood clots.

>> No.28106712

no the point is if she still has the mental capacity for a few minutes after the fuck to MAKE a sandwich, then you don't deserve one.

>> No.28106734

confirmed virgin

>> No.28106779

not sure I get that one.

>> No.28106838

The important point is: Do we get to see her horse pussy?

>> No.28106926

The only way you could more strongly announce that the women you have been with have never had orgasms is to say

>> No.28106931

There's no actual nudity, but in the first chapter she's really worried about it so the three of them compare ladyparts. Apparently hers is pretty normal.

>> No.28107104

Trying to hard there. Women only make that face in retarded hentai. You seriously think the people who make hentai have actually seen a woman naked?

>> No.28107157

>Women only make that face in retarded hentai.
Or if they’re, you know, actually having an orgasm. Sans drool, of course; that’s the embellishment.

>> No.28107194

>Not snake cloaca

>> No.28107220

Some of them, maybe. That doesn't make it attractive. Lots of women still look sexy, even during orgasm.

>> No.28107280

>my opinion is the only one that counts
We can find it sexy without you finding it sexy.

>> No.28107300

I'm sorry, was I the only who said that people who don't like something are virgins?

>> No.28108330


I was sort of surprised to see Germany on there. What with their general denial of WW2 or Nazis being a thing.

>> No.28108364

You can't be serious.

>> No.28108380


You're thinking of Japan, in Germany it's actually illegal to so much as think that the Nazis weren't the evillest thing that ever existed in the history of ever.

Which we know isn't quite true, because Carthaginians.

>> No.28108989

It's Japan you're thinking of. They basically erased every part of WWII except that they got nuked from the history they teach their kids.

>> No.28109393

I'm not sure this is an entirely fair statement.

While what you say is true, it's important to note that the Japanese don't really learn subjects like the West does. They learn only the most basics of basics that affect them the most and then focus only on the particular subject they choose to master, instead of the well-rounded education that is given to all American/European students.

I recently had the task of entertaining some Japanese math professors that visited the university I work at and the experience was rather enlightening. They assumed me a genius for my basic understanding of religious and world history and my general knowledge of other topics like engineering and physics. Everything about our culture is to stand out and be unique from what we learn to how we dress, we seek to stand above our peers so that we are noticed. In their culture it's more about fitting in to the group you seek to join. Why learn something that doesn't pertain to what you do when standing out is a hinderance?

>> No.28109452

Okay first off, American Education is horribly broken and about as well rounded as Mount Everest.

Second of all, it is primarily the Nationalists who get so damn annoying about it. Yes, the survivors of the atomic bombings deserve sympathy and care, but really, when all is said and done, the firebombings on the part of the Americans and the atrocities on the part of the Japanese were both far worse in general.

>> No.28109539

They were probably just being polite...

>> No.28109554

When I say education, I'm referring to collegiate education, which depending on university, is somewhat well-rounded. I should have been more clear. American middle and high schools are little more than prisons for children.

>> No.28109591

Ah, righto. Personally I class Middle-School as one step from Hell.

>> No.28109626

I'm gonna start a new /tg/ humor thread.

>> No.28109631

The core problem is the factory system that those are built around, and it's only been made worse by standardized testing.

>> No.28109636

I spent something like 5 days with these people. I knew when they were feigning politeness. They were, quite simply, dumbfounded that I knew as much world history as I did and were especially amazed that I knew important figures in Japanese history such as Matthew Perry.

>> No.28109670

Anyone have the picture of that skeleton in the top hat and regal clothing that looks like the picture in that post?

>> No.28109847

The new daemonettes do not look like the seductresses they supposedly are.
Clearly this is the plan of Tzeentch.

>> No.28109886

I see. Guess it was a decent premise, but if ya have to explain the joke..

>> No.28110742

It's not that hard to get at all. I got it, and I haven't been involved in Warhams since 2008 or so.

>> No.28111190

>roleplaying does not belong on a board about roleplaying!

I used to be like you until I realised the logical errors in my arguments. Now I just filter them and move on.

>> No.28111231

>not "What if conquistadores where vikings"

>> No.28111316

Don't I got a ban for dare questioning the erp yesterday. Somewhere, some neckbeard in a diaper has taken the erp under his aegis.

>> No.28111743


>> No.28111808

Read #5 again.

>> No.28111812

>didn't read the post

>> No.28111945

> not jerking off with other guys

its like you hate fun

>> No.28112108

When I have children, I'll do this so hard.

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