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[ERROR] No.28043663 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Do any of the Primarchs ever get laid in the novels? Or at all? Did any of them marry or take lovers?

>> No.28043716

>>28043663
Fulgrim was anally raped with a searing hot metal rod. And he got off on it. I guess that sorta counts. And then he spent ten thousand years on hia personal planet of lewdness.

I think Russ may have gotten it on with wenches on Fenris, but I can't remember.

>> No.28044337

>>28043663
No one fucking knows if they ever got laid.

>> No.28044839

>>28043663

I love this pic just because of Angron yelling at someone down from the balcony

>HEY ASSHOLE, YEAH YOU. I SEE YOU. IT'S LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, YOU FUCKUP.
>Khan, could you please tell him to calm down?
>MOTHERFUCKER YOU WILL MARCH IN FORMATION OR I WILL JUMP DOWN THERE AND RIP YOUR FUCKING LEGS OFF AND TEACH YOU HOW TO MARCH
>Just ignore it Lorgar. He'll gas himself out...
>FUCKING LISTEN TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NOT IN MY LEGION. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND MARCH RIGHT. MY BOY MAGNUS RIGHT HERE'LL GET YOUR NAME WITH HIS MAGIC EYE
>Bro, you know I can't magically get people's names out of thin air, right?
>SHUT UP, NERD.

So yeah, Angron probably beat a few chicks to death with his massive weaponized dong a few times.

>> No.28045491

>>28044839
I think it is a bit sad that the more important a person in 40k seems to be, the HUEGER he is.
It makes many things so awkward.
Or hugeness of the hat/pauldrons.

>> No.28046906

>>28043716
don't be silly, fulgrim is just an scared little boy trapped in the most recondite corner of the mind of a demon possesed flesh vessel. Fulgrim the primarch is no more. Fulgrim the demon is just a gross parody.

>> No.28047166

>>28043663

Guilliman had a mother, so that rules him out.

>> No.28048029

>>28044839
>massive
>weaponized
>dong

>> No.28048422

>>28044839
I always saw it as him having a raging war-boner. Being totally oblivious of his brothers and just being totally consumed with blood-lust and martial pride.

If you look really closely you can see the stone breaking under the grip of his left hand.

>> No.28051406

>>28043663
Fulgrim had a metal rod shoved up his ass. And he's spent ten thousand years at a place simply known as his pleasure planet. And he recently acquired a host body for Slaanesh, the god of lewdness, to visit him in the material universe.

As for the rest of them, they never scored.

>> No.28051816

>>28051406
>As for the rest of them, they never scored.
"Here Lies Roboute Guilliman,
Son of the God-Emperor,
Primarch of the Ultramarines and Descendant Chapters,
Father of the Realm of Ultramar,
Author of the Codex Astartes,
Bane of Alpharius,
Author of the Codex Astartes and Spiritual Liege of All Astartes.

He Never Scored."

>> No.28052608

>>28048029
What is the source of that?

>> No.28052637

>>28046906
Nah, he and the Daemon came to an agreement, and Fulgrim is fully in control.

>> No.28052671

>>28052608
Requiem Chevalier Vampire.

>> No.28052677

I always wondered how The Emperor or the Primarchs ever had sex with human females since they're all supposedly like fifteen to twenty feet tall

>> No.28052707

>>28052677
the pain is just illusion of mind, sisters of battle would take it and I can imagine there were devoted women in the old ages too

>> No.28052720

>>28052677
better to widen them early, since their kids will be HUEG too~

>> No.28052740

>>28052677
Carefully. That or... well, have you ever used a fleshlight?

>> No.28052763

>>28052677
I always just assumed most of them died during sex or childbirth.

>> No.28052803

>>28052677
little peens

>> No.28052863

They're supposed to be representations of the various people who play the game.

So no

>> No.28052914

>>28043663
I can't help but laugh my ass off at Horus whenever I see that picture. It's just so over the top and ridiculous it always gets to me.

>> No.28052930

>>28052863

Elaborate?

>> No.28052951

>>28052930
He's saying that everyone who plays 40k is a virgin you idiot.

>> No.28052967

>>28052863
That would make Russ Andy Chambers so that would explain why SW are the only ones who look at women.

>> No.28052972

>>28044839
>>28044839
Thats his "image" though. He might not have actually have done that. But if he did, the soldiers who noticed probably grinned internally.

>> No.28052978

>>28052677
Emperor being a 20 ft golden dude is just a psychic projection. He can pass as a regular guy if he wants.
And in older lore, he had scored and had children.
However he was still the worst father ever, and they didn't know.

>> No.28053000

>>28052978
They didn't know? Dude, does the Horus Heresy mean anything to you? Every Primarch that turned to Chaos knew.

>> No.28054847

>>28043663
As far as we know, only Fulgrim has scored.

>> No.28054850

Why couldn't there just be 18 Primarchs?

>> No.28054916

>>28054850
Originally it was to allow players to homebrew their own legions. And then the novels stated that both legions were wiped out long before anything significant happened.

>> No.28054991

>>28044839
Gotta admit, I lel'd. Gonna save this for future use

>> No.28055084

Does anyone ever get laid ever in 40K?
Except the obvious slaaneshi/dark eldar.
Mostly it just seems to be WWE-like shouty drama spouted by brain-damaged, steroid-abusing men.

>> No.28055104

>>28055084

There's sex going on, just as in real life. It's just this is a war game, there's no need to mention what isn't part of toy soldier battles.

>> No.28055134

>>28055084
They do, but not if their Loyalist Space Marines. Those guys don't even remember they have junk.

>> No.28055158

>>28043663
I'm always astounded by how fabulously smug Fulgrim looks in that pic. Why is he so smug? What does he know that we don't? Is it because he's fabulous? Did he fart, knowing it'd be blamed on Mortarion? Is he proud that there's at least one guy (Lorgar) he could beat up in the present company?

Seriously, what's the deal here?

>> No.28055256

>>28043663
>Magnus is sometimes known as the Red Giant
>is just slightly taller than his brothers

>> No.28055452

>>28055256
He can change his size derp

>> No.28055911

>>28055158
>Why is he so smug?

He's smug because he's the only one who can leave that balcony. Horus is way too huge to get through the door and everyone else is awkwardly trapped behind him.

>> No.28056276

Only eromenos

>> No.28056311

>>28055911
Some of them can leave, though. Sanguinius can just fly away, Magnus can just teleport, Angron would just airdrop from the balcony, Jaghatai would just scale the walls to the next floor, and Dorn can just call for an airship to pick him up.

Lorgar would just take time off to meditate, and Mortarion doesn't really give a shit since he gets to hang out with his buddy Horus.

>> No.28056365

>>28054916
Which doesn't really stop us from homebrewing our own legions, despite the protests of neckbeard purists everywhere.

>> No.28056746

>>28055158
>Knowing he could beat up Lorgar

Everyone seems to forget that Lorgar kicked the shit out of Khornes head bloodthirster.

>> No.28056789

>>28043663
Why do the random reflective garden ball things stop halfway along? Are they supposed to be something other than decorative, or are horus and sanguinus just sharing a laugh after pushing them off onto the heads of unsuspecting battle brothers?

>> No.28056880

>>28056789
Not sanguinus. Whoever the fuck that is. I'm an armchair 40ker

>> No.28056975

>>28052951
Not true I stopped playing 40k for about four years in which time I managed by the aweful grace of god to get it in. I don't know if stopping warhammer caused geting laid but... the correlation remains.

>> No.28057004

>>28055104
thank you voice of reason.

>> No.28057017

>>28055911

>> No.28057273

>>28045491

In that picture, Horus is wearing Terminator armor and fulgrim is wearing no armor. Plus the two are closer than the others, so he appears taller because of twin juxtaposition.

< This picture on the other hand is symbolic, but Horus is comically sized.

>> No.28057554

>>28056365
>Which doesn't really stop us from homebrewing our own legions

Having nobody play you for shoehorning your shit in works well enough.

>> No.28057681

>>28057554
That would happen if every WH40K was a shithead like you. The couple homebrewed legion players actually see a lot of play at my local gaming store. With other players that are in it for the fun, rather than the dick waving and neckbeard stroking that goes on here.

>>
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