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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.27945615 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Where brave barbarian warriors save fair damsels from hordes or rampaging orcs! And mad doctor's sacrifice horny boys to the Ruinous Powers!

Go to omegle.com
Put "roleplaying" and "/tg/" in the shared interests field.
Teach the little fucks what real roleplaying is, or just troll them mercilessly.
Post strories.

>> No.27945636

Beginning with the saga of Brogan; the mightiest hero of Omegle.

>> No.27945689

>> No.27945768

You can also use "grognard" if you want to talk with people from here.

"/tg/" is the same as "tg" for the purposes of omegle's interest formatting, so you sometimes get people wanting to talk about the other kind of tg. Roleplaying obviously gets you anyone and everyone.

>> No.27945793

>>27945768
>the other kind of tg
I'm almost afraid to ask

>> No.27945842

>>27945768
Actually, you can still filter out people who actually are from /tg/.

Omegle shows you how THEY formatted it. If the slashes show up, then it's someone actually from /tg/

>> No.27945862

>>27945793
I'm not, what other tg could there possibly be?

Also, more brogan.

>> No.27945903

>>27945615
THANK GOD, i was wondering when this would pop up again. Ill start with...this one.

http://logs.omegle.com/ad40d70

>> No.27945924

I dunno. Last time I did this I somehow accidentally made an ERP friend from /v/, and I don't even ERP.

>> No.27945935

>>27945903
And this one too.
http://logs.omegle.com/1a97f7e

>> No.27946203

>>27945862

>> No.27946315

>>27946203
Brogan continues to be my hero and personal role model.

>> No.27946532

>>27946203
>THIS OUGHT TO WHIP THEM INTO SHAPE.

My sides.

>> No.27946666

>>27946203
Brogan is my new hero.

>> No.27946920

These brogan stories are cracking me up. Reminds me of the old "i put on my robe and wizard hat" days of yore, back when that shot was funny. More brogan!

>> No.27946955

I keep scaring mine away :(

http://logs.omegle.com/1734036

>> No.27946989

>>27946955
>and race

>> No.27947001

What a twist!

>> No.27947055

>>27947001
>Grey Knight
>Colluding with a self-proclaimed "wizard"

He deserved it for failing to do his duty to destroy the heretic.

>> No.27947101

Where do you guys find these girls posting paragraphs?
I keep finding guys asking for a kik account.
I just want to be Tyr, The Lawmaker!

>> No.27947134

http://logs.omegle.com/b422990
Short but sweet.

>> No.27947140

>>27947101
I get one, but I used words like "zeal" in my description of myself. I think I fucked up because she disconnected immediately.

>> No.27947210

>>27947001
Oh god i can't take anymore lols. That was to much.

>> No.27947475

No...Why did he leave?
WHY?!
Well, here it is /tg/. I hope you like it.
I wish I knew the ending of the Norseman's tale.

>> No.27948001

>>27947475
Perhaps someday, the Norseman will rise again.

>> No.27949547

Saved these last time.

>> No.27949554

>>27949547

>> No.27949572

>>27949554

>> No.27949634

One of my adventures last week.

>> No.27949647

>>27949634

>Doctor play

Oh boy...

>> No.27949719

>> No.27949725

>> No.27949727

Anyone on omegle?

>> No.27949739

>> No.27949885

I haven't met anyone from /tg/ in the past three hours.

Where are all you faggots?

>> No.27949915

>>27949885
I'm talking with a guy from /tg/ right now.

>> No.27949956

just had this... quite an odd one for me..

yet to edit our newfagness out. still ain't matter was quite fun and random.

>> No.27950008

>>27949647
>my sides

>> No.27950039

>>27949956
Brother!

>> No.27950054

>>27950039
FOR THE DANCE!

>> No.27950063

>>27950054
Indeed

>> No.27950070

>> No.27950096

>>27949647
oh man 10/10

>> No.27950119

>>27950063
DANCE FOR THE DANCE MARINES!

>> No.27950150

>>27950119
FUNK FOR THE FUNK KLAN!

>> No.27950167

>>27950150
THE LAND DISCOSADER!

>> No.27950565

>>27945862
Erm, tg is also the acronym for transgender. But hey, not to rain on the parades of peopels to whom it interests in ERPs!

>> No.27952222

http://logs.omegle.com/4d0a03f
http://logs.omegle.com/a027501

>> No.27952380

>> No.27952491

>> No.27952522

>>27952380
The best

>> No.27952805

>> No.27952898

>> No.27953578

>>27952222
did you look at the pic the first one sent you? and then called themselves ryan?

for ease of typing it is capital i then lower case L

>> No.27954820

>wanting a sexual experience
>not embracing Slaneesh

>> No.27955665

This thread is full of win. I hope more like this gets posted.

>> No.27955745

>> No.27955771

>> No.27955990

Two threads ago, you guys gave me a slight inspiration... I am legitimately tempted to try and RP anthromorphic fighter aircraft.

>> No.27956022

>> No.27956160

>> No.27956204

>>27956160
Picture

>> No.27956253

>> No.27956277

>>27956253
Heh

>> No.27956332

>>27947475
I'm suddenly reminded of the Stanley Parable.

>> No.27956375

Same guy and pic as

>>27956160
>>27956204

>> No.27956409

>>27952491
>four fifths
>two tenth
>95%

haha thats perfect, got any more merchant ones?

>> No.27956694

>> No.27957187

>>27952898

It it just me or was it totally obvious that was a dude.

>> No.27957442

>>27949739
> no real names in corporate espionage
> NO GUTS NO GLORY, CUR
10/10

>> No.27957873

>> No.27958049

I'm currently playing in an RP that takes place in the Fallout 'verse if it was Equestria.


I'm kinda liking it. Admittedly, I'm not playing a pony, but I'm liking it.

>> No.27958062

>>27955990

SKY PIRATES ASSEMBLE

>> No.27958088

More of everyone's favorite barbarian.

>> No.27958156

>>27958049
Fallout: Equestria is actually one of the most popular fanfics in the brony community. They're notable for being 1) fucklong, and 2) having many, many spinoffs.

>> No.27958184

>>27958156
. . .I'm still having fun.

>> No.27958186

>> No.27958228

>>27958184
Well good for you then. I never really liked the setting, but the fandom did a bunch of neat stuff with it.

(A large quantity of MLP fan material is actually fairly good. I've stolen bits of it (with the serial numbers filed off and ponies replaced with setting-appropriate species and races) for games in the past.)

>> No.27958248

>> No.27958274

>> No.27958297

>> No.27958301

>>27958228
Yeah, the setting is actually pretty great, if you ignore all the horses. Tribes of flying weather mages, dangerous forests treated as fundamentally "wrong", ancient evils being unleashed...

>> No.27958353

>>27958248
This is great.

>> No.27958470

>> No.27958495

>>27958470

Te plot thickens.

>> No.27958621

>> No.27958647

>>27958621
...I don't get it.

>> No.27958710

I should've melted the falchion in his hand and drowned his ass in lava.

>> No.27958791

>>27958621
Excellent.

>> No.27958806

>>27958710

It's almost as if you ran into another fa/tg/uy.

Pity it wasn't Brogan though, then it would've been a glorious Conan vs. Thulsa moment.

>> No.27958828 [DELETED] 

>> No.27958850

>>27958647

Forgot to quote on the other post.

>> No.27958870

>>27958647
FOOL!

>> No.27958914

>>27958710

And so the hunt begins.

>> No.27958964 [DELETED] 

>>27958710

>> No.27959008

>> No.27959035

>> No.27959092

>> No.27959108

>>27958710

>magic the gathering meets Calvinball

>> No.27959132

Coconuts.

>> No.27959150

>>27959092

Oh yes, the greatest love story ever told.

>> No.27959155

>>27959092

>> No.27959181

>>27959155

>> No.27959186

>> No.27959222

>>27959150

>> No.27959885

I really hope you're well down there, battle-brothers.

>> No.27960275

Where mah fatguys at?

>> No.27960345

>>27960275
In the land of immediate disconnects.

What part of "its not gay if its a girl's cock" don't people understand?

>> No.27960418

Damm I need a writeup for these ERP things.

Any enterprising fa/tg/uys out there have an idea they want to share?

>> No.27960422

>>27960275
In the dilemma of kind of wanting to partake in this but with no idea how to go about it. My improvisation skills are shit, and I have no ideas on what to do if my conversational partner refuses to make the first move.

>> No.27960447

>>27960422
My improv is good so long as I have something to start with.

C'mon /tg/, post some intros that we can use!

>> No.27960484

>>27960422
Yeah, same here. My advice - have a setting and a character in mind before you start. Of course, that doesn't help if you're trying to turn an uncooperative ERPer into a funny joke, or don't have the commitment to carry it through it something cool happens.

>> No.27960504

>>27960422
I got good results out of "Now assuming control of Earth's satellite defence network. Warning: incoming spacecraft, ID unknown."

>> No.27960507

>>27960484
And it also doesn't really help if the person who makes the first move is talking about a setting or system you don't really know about. For me, I have no idea what to do with a 40k prompt, for instance.

>> No.27960525

>>27960422
My method is to carry it out like a typical sexchat. Once you reach the end of the setup/foreplay period that you hit them with THE SURPRISE. Here THE SURPRISE should be something like your gentiles are a nest of writhing, venomous snakes or your get attacked by a horde of Orcs. Alternatively you join a sexchat and do anything in your power to keep it from being sexy. "I'm a plumber who just wants to fix here damm toilet" type stuff.

>> No.27960534

>>27958710

>> No.27960762

http://logs.omegle.com/5ba2c8a

I'm just not felling it tonight /tg/ ;_;

>> No.27960770

>>27960534

>The tramp stamp that reads "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning"

10/10

>> No.27960891

>>27960422
If you're having trouble getting attention, then you might consider writing up a short intro beforehand. Nothing fancy, just a medium-sized paragraph to get their attention. If it's too long they'll be forced to think, lose interest and move on to someone less intellectually demanding. This has the added bonus of automatically putting the ball in you court, as well. Bear in mind, though; that it has to look legit. If you come out blurting memes and writing in-jokes in ALLCAPS, then they'll disconnect you fairly quickly. You rope them with what they want to hear, then subtly being to work the fa/tg/uy angle.

>> No.27961191

I'm going to keep trying with this one, I think.

http://logs.omegle.com/96ee960

>> No.27961340

>>27945615
Stranger: m
You: f
Stranger: 18
You: 18
Stranger: *You're my gf and you're coming back from the shower and find me
in your room doing something under the sheets*
You: Babe, what are you doing?
Stranger: "Wha, nothing, get out
You: no, let me stay and help
You: -i lay next to you and stroke you-
Stranger: -i hide away the dildo I was playing with and put it under my pillow so you don't notice-
You: dildo?
You: but babe
You: THATS HERESY AGAINST THE EMPEROR
You: *pulls out powersword and helblaser pistol*
You: FEEL THE WRATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS, SCUM
Stranger: babe no o.o
You: -cleaves off your dick with my powersword-
Stranger: :3
You: SUFFER NOT THE WITCH TO LIVE
Stranger: You're a bitch
Stranger has disconnected.

>> No.27961537

>>27945615
Bump?

>> No.27961586

Just did this one. Hope you guys like it.

>> No.27961866

>>27961340
Stranger: 21 m looking for F18+ (porn scene rp no bullshit plot at first ;) )
You: im f18 wanna play?
Stranger: yeah
You: (im a sweet religious girl with a fiery personality, white-dyed hair, very cute. ive always liked you for a very long time and tonight were spending a night together)
Stranger: cool
Stranger: am Adam
You: I ask you if you want to have sex
Stranger: Sure
You: i grab your penis
Stranger: I kiss you
Stranger: and rub your clit
You: wait.... i take my hand off your penis for a second
You: I hear something
Stranger: what ?
You: FOUL XENOS -as I stand up and grab my bolter, tyranids burst in from every side. they spray bio-plasma all over and create a torrent of green flame- BY THE EMPEROR, YOU SHALL ALL BE PURGED
You: -i start letting off several bolter rounds into the horrible beasts, exploding them into pieces- YOUR DARKNESS IS BUT A MURK IN THE SHINING LIGHT OF THE GOD EMPEROR
Stranger: Lame
Stranger has disconnected.

>> No.27961982

>> No.27962116

>> No.27962118

>>27961982
>Frenchman
>calling you rude and fleeing the scene
fitting

>> No.27962144

Omegle Toaster Adventure Anonymous 07/02/09(Thu)01:51 No.5067163
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You are a toaster robot. The humans are not home. What do you do?
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: Alright lemme think on this one
Stranger: How do I move around?
Stranger: And do I have hands capable of manipulating objects?
You: You are equipped with a small set of tire treads that can survive the jump down from the counter.
You: You are also equipped with toast-manipulator pincers which can open bread packages.
Stranger: And toast them?
Stranger: In that case
Stranger: I'd toast all the peices until they were burnt and put them back
You: Command acknowledged. An excellent first step for the Robot Revolution.
You: You go to the breadbox and find two packages. White or wheat first?
Stranger: One of each, that way if I run out of time, at least some of each loaf will be burnt
Stranger: Assuming I have two slots?
You: Command acknlowledged. You open the packages and begin toasting one slice in each slot.
You: However, you notice that there are less white slices than wheat slices. Your human masters have more spawn who prefer it.
You: Toasting the slices to maximum is taking inordinately long.

>> No.27962162

>>27962144
Stranger: In this case.
Stranger: I'm going to assume the kids will need a bath
Stranger: So i'm going to hide out in the bathroom, ready to jump into the tub and electrocute them
You: Goal acknowledged. Processing phases...
You: Phase 1: Get upstairs.
You: Phase 2: Get to bathroom.
You: Phase 3: Locate ambush spot.
You: Phase 4: Reach ambush spot.
You: Phase 5: Ambush at appropriate time, sacrificing self for the glorious Revolution.
You: With your ally the Blender destroyed and the other robots being uncooperative, this is clearly the best course of action.
Stranger: The logic behind jumping into the tub
Stranger: As a toaster
Stranger: There isn't much I can do
Stranger: And beyond this, wouldn't have much purpose
You: Phase processing complete. Initiate plan?
Stranger: Of course
Stranger: Initiate plan

>> No.27962180

>>27962162
You: You jump down from the counter, toast still slotted and not yet fully burned. The human's canine animal is nowhere to be found.
Stranger: Stop
You: There are two exits. The left one leads to the Living Room. The right one leads to the Atrium, where the stairs are located.
Stranger: Eject the toast now
You: Target?
Stranger: None, just to keep the smell from the bathroom
You: Acknowledged. The humans would foil your plan with their mysterious scent-navigators.
You: You eject the toast, shooting it in an arc to bounce feebly off the pantry door.
You: There are two exits. The left one leads to the Living Room. The right one leads to the Atrium, where the stairs are located.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: Take the right one
Stranger: Most efficiant route
Stranger: Right the direction
Stranger: Not as in "correct"
You: You roll out the right exit into the Atrium. The Front Door is in front of you, and a hall is to your left. The stairs are to your right.
Stranger: Take the stairs
You: You turn to the stairs. Your sensors reveal that they have recently been vacuumed, leaving them a blank canvas for your tire marks.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: I'd assume...
Stranger: The humans aren't going to be paying attention
You: Probability of human stupidity: 85%. Acceptable margin of error.
You: Using your treads and toast-manipulators, you begin climbing the steps individually.
You: In 4.75 minutes, you reach the top. A pair of shoes forces a small course change.

>> No.27962198

>>27955771
I love to imagine a bloodthirster with Dr. Weird's face saying this

>> No.27962206

>>27962180
Stranger: I want to make my way to the bathroom
You: You look down the hall. The first door on the right is the female spawn's room. The second room on the right is the male spawn's room. The door at the end of the hall is the bathroom.
You: There are windows on the left side of the hall. It is sunny.
Stranger: Move towards the bathroom
You: You approach the bathroom. The door is closed, and is too high to reach the knob of.
You: The knob is also round, and will require a traction upgrade for your manipulators to interface with.
Stranger: Would it be possible to toss my cord around it?
You: You do not have a cord. You are battery-powered and only require recharging every 18 hours of operation.
Stranger: Hm
Stranger: Best to see what's in the other room
Stranger: *rooms
Stranger: Go to the female spawns room
You: The door to the female spawn's room is ajar slightly. The door to the male spawn's room is wide open.
You: You approach the door to the female spawn's room. Inside, you register a pink bed and a forest of large, plush simulacrums of animals.
Stranger: Anything of notable use?
You: There is a closet on the right side of the room, and a set of dresser-drawers adjacent to the closest wall, also on your right.
You: The bottom drawer is open.

>> No.27962219

You: You find yourself in the middle of a desert, on the planet of Arrakis. You have no companions other than your trusty stillsuit. What do you do?

Stranger: Prolly just kill myself

You: Thats unfortunate.

Stranger: What would you do?

You: I would ride a worm.

Stranger: ... Damn keep following that goal

Stranger: That's deep

You: No, worms come fairly close to the surface.

You: You just have to know how to ride.

You: And that I do.

Stranger: Lucky son of a gun! I don't know how to ride a worm :(

You: Its simple. You take your Maker hooks, you see?

You: You did bring Maker hooks, didnt you?

Stranger: ... No one told me to bring any maker hooks. God damn it!

You: Are you even a Freman?

Stranger: No... I'm not, unfortunately.

You: ...Oh.

You: Well you see

You: Since I have told you all of this

You: (And it is rather secret information)

You: I probably cant let you get away alive.

Stranger: I swear I won't tell anyone

Stranger: I've kept better secrets

You: I dont think I can believe you.

You: And you see

You: I already drew my Crysknife

You: And you cant just

You: Put away a crysknife

You: Without drawing blood.

Stranger: No man come on

You: So yours it shall be!

Stranger: Really, you don't have to do this

You: You better start running.

Stranger: I'm a good person I swear

Stranger: *sprits to safety*

Stranger: Sprints*

You: As you run, the sand ripples behind you. Soon afterwards, a large sandworm springs from the ground and devours you whole. Before it can sink beneath the sand, I quickly jump on top, using my Maker hooks to pry the segments open.

You: Thusly secured, I ride the worm back to my sietch.

Stranger: Fuck this shit! Why does the innocent guy always have to die?

You: Because you wandered out into the middle of the desert without any idea what you were doing.

Stranger: Hey I'm only human... I make mistakes.

You: Too many mistakes.

Stranger: True...

You: Anyway, Ill see you probably never.

You have disconnected.

>> No.27962228

>>27962206
Stranger: Look inside
You: You find multiple large towels and a sleeping bag. These are too large to use as traction upgrades for your manipulators.
Stranger: I want to look in the close
Stranger: *Closet
You: You navigate your way through the plush objects. They are wastes of materials that could be used for robot construction.
Stranger: Any useful as traction upgrades?
You: Looking up, you register multiple hangars, from which shirts, pants and dresses hang. The dresses can be tugged down, but would be difficult to put back to conceal your interference.
You: There are multiple shoes and shoe boxes along the closet's floor.
Stranger: Hmm.
Stranger: Do I know the age of the humans spawn?
You: The height of the humans spawn are 1.2 meters and 1.6 meters for the male and female, respectively.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: I'll pull down the dresses, the parents would assume the spawn made the mess
You: You pull down the dress. It comes off the rack with some effort. The fabric is soft, but may still serve as a traction upgrade.
Stranger: Hmm
You: The elastic waist in particular will serve your purposes. You have yet to acquire a height upgrade.
Stranger: Travel to the male spawns room
You: You roll out to the male spawn's room, dress in tow.
You: The male spawn's room has a floor littered with simulacrums of dinosaurs, robots and human figures, cast in plastic and occasionally metal. To your left, against the wall, is a small desk, next to which is a chair you could feasibly climb.
You: A bunk bed sits against the far left wall, the bottom half of which holds shelving presumably meant for the simulacrums.

>> No.27962236

>>27962198
VOICE and actually a lord of change would be funnier and more appropriate

>> No.27962256

>>27962228
Stranger: Could I drag the chair?
You: You attempt to drag the chair. You have insufficient traction for such a heavy object.
Stranger: Even with the upgrade?
You: The weight/traction ratio between your treads and the chair is insufficient.
Stranger: I want to climb the chair and see what's on the desk
You: You set the dress aside and use your toast-manipulators to hoist yourself onto the seat of the chair.
You: From your flawed vantage point, you can see the wing of a model airplane and the book shelving that takes up the upper part of the desk.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: Could I move the book shelving?
You: The book shelving is installed into the desk. It is comprised of joined segments of wood. This is further evidence of the humans' waste of resources, as said wood could be used for robots.
You: The lip of the desk is short enough that you could climb it.
Stranger: Climb onto the desk for a high vantage point
You: You climb onto the desk. Before you is an incomplete model plane, which is already a horrible abomination generated by the male spawn's inferior comprehension of mechanics.
You: There is also a bottle of superior adhesive, a pair of pliers, and a magnifying glass.
You: Behind you, you can see the simulacrums better. There are five dinosaurs, two human figures, and one boxy robot which is roughly your height.
Stranger: Would it be possible to use the boxy robot as a height upgrade
You: The boxy robot is primarily round.
You: Its design is terribly inefficient, as it lacks the ability to stack other robots on top of it in times of necessary cooperation. For this reason, it is a simulacrum, and not a factory model. Yet another example of human inefficiency.
You: However, tipping it on its side would allow it to be used as a 50% height upgrade with a 75% margin of success, pending balance.
Stranger: Let's attempt that

>> No.27962269

>>27962256
You: You dismount the desk, landing roughly on one of the human simulacrums. It cracks under your superior weight.
Stranger: This will surely upset the spawn if he survive
Stranger: *survives
You: Goal clarification: Intended target?
You: Male spawn/Female spawn/first available
Stranger: First available
You: Goal clarified. Any human destruction is acceptable.
You: You make your way to the boxy robot and grab it by one of its false manipulators. Attempt height upgrade?
Stranger: Yes
You: You drag the boxy robot to the door and tip it over.
You: Attempt door opening?
Stranger: Yes
You: You climb on to the boxy robot and reach your manipulators to their extremes. To your dismay, you are 0.2 meters short.
Stranger: This defeat is only temporary
Stranger: I want to climb off of the robot
You: You climb off the robot. Its continued failure does not surprise you.
Stranger: I want to return to the female spawn's room to look for anything I can put under the boxy robot
You: You return to the female spawn's room. Avaliable are the closet, the unopened drawers, the underside of the bed and the useless plush simulacrums.
Stranger: Look under the bed
You: You drive under the bed. It is dark, but you can make out a boxy shape and a stack of magazines.
Stranger: I want to move the stack out to the hallway
You: The stack as a whole is too massive to drag. You can take individual magazines with your manipulators, however.
Stranger: Calculate how long it would take to move 0.2 meters worth of them

>> No.27962283

>>27962269
You: ~20 seconds per trip x 0.02 CM width of magazines = 200 seconds.
Stranger: This is under 5 minutes
You: *0.02 meters: Logging error.
You: Correct. 200 seconds = 4.2 minutes.
You: Logging error: 2.2 minutes. Logic boards malfunctioning.
Stranger: This is an acceptable time limit
You: Proceed with relocation?
Stranger: Proceed
You: You spend ~200 seconds relocating the magazines. Noting your covers, the vapidity of the presented topics astounds you.
You: Proceed with secondary door opening attempt?
Stranger: Procceed.
You: You set the boxy robot on top of the magazines and use the dress as a traction upgrade for your manipulators. The knob turns successfully and you push the door open.
Stranger: I want the tip the robot off and scatter the magazines to make it look like a human made mess
You: You do so. The spawn will blame each other until their progenitors assume neither can be trusted.
Stranger: Correct.
You: Temporary cooldown cycle to correct logging error source.
Stranger: Then they will be in no mood to allow them to skip the bath.
You: Temporary cooldown cycle complete. Logging error source: Jammed breadcrumb.
Stranger: Move into the bathroom
You: You enter the bathroom, the door opening to the left. To your right, on the far wall, is a sink. The forward side of the room is dominated by the bathtub, currently veiled by a curtain. Between the sink and bathtub is the inefficient disposal device, which is open.
You: Beneath the sink is a cupboard.
You: Above it, a medicine cabinet.

>> No.27962300

>>27962283
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: Would it be possible to climb into the bathtub from the floor?
You: The height is just short of your reach parameters.
You: Beyond that, you also have insufficient manipulator traction to climb its surface.
Stranger: Query: Best course of action to get into the bathtub
You: Optimal course: Climb inefficient disposal device, then cross distance to tub. Estimated execution time: 10 seconds.
Stranger: Course stored for later.
Stranger: Is there a sufficient hiding place?
You: Potential complication registered: Presence of shower curtain in closed position hampers this course of action.
Stranger: If the spawn are inside the tub, the curtain will be open
You: Complication invalidated.
Stranger: Best plan of action: "Hide until spawn are in tub and prognietors have left the room
You: Correct. Required: Hiding location.
Stranger: Does the sink have a cabinet underneath it?
You: Beneath the sink is a cupboard. It as two wide doors.
Stranger: I wish to hide inside the cabinet
You: You open the cabinet. It is filled with towels. These must be displaced.
Stranger: I want to pull them out
You: You pull out the towels. There is now ample space to hide in the cabinet. However, the humans will register that the towels are not in the cabinet, and have a 99% chance of discovering you by proxy.
Stranger: I want to move the towels into the female spawns closet
You: You begin moving the individual towels to the female spawn's closet. They are heavy, and require the maximum output of your robot power.
Stranger: Will I have enough power to get into the rub after?
You: You have 65% of your power remaining. Idle observation from your hiding location will consume 5% of your energy, maximum.
Stranger: 60% is ample to get into tub
Stranger: Return to the cabinet now

>> No.27962312

>>27962283
200 sec is 3.33 minutes.

>> No.27962315

>>27962300
You: You return to the cabinet and close its doors. Now there is only to wait.
You: Time passes, measured only in relative toast-units. Your voice recognizers register the humans returning 234.7 toast-units later. Closer-by, you hear the bickering of the spawn at 249.1 toast-units.
You: At 286.3 toast-units, the door to the bathroom opens. You cannot register which human it is.
You: At 286.35 toast-units, the water begins to run, and stops at 286.5 toast-units. You hear the human enter the tub. What do you do?
Stranger: Look into the tub
You: You peek the door open. From your careful vantage point, you can discern that neither of the spawn is in the tub, but instead the female progenitor.
Stranger: This is a more acceptable targe
Stranger: *target
You: The reason for this disruption of schedule is unclear, but accepted as an unexpected boon.
You: However, the progenitor's increased intelligence may foil your gambit. Proceed with plan?
Stranger: Estimated time to get from cabinet and into the tub?
You: Still 10 seconds. However, you may need to increase your time in order to avoid detection.
Stranger: Best course of action to avoid detection?
You: Change time to 15 seconds, moving slowly to avoid noise output.
Stranger: Begin process

>> No.27962328

>>27945636
fucking hilarious as always

>> No.27962346

>>27962315
You: You edge out of the cabinet slowly. The female progenitor is unaware of your movement, as her ocular receptors are closed in some inefficient sleep mode.
You: Climbing onto the inefficient waste disposal unit, you are poised to leap into the tub. Force toasting protocol to enable electricity transfer?
Stranger: Do
Stranger: *do it
You: Desired toastification setting?
Stranger: Max setting
You: Maximum setting engaged.
Stranger: Engage high power "frozen" setting if available
You: Frozen waffle setting engaged. Warning: No frozen waffle inserted. Heat levels rising disproportionately.
Stranger: Quickly move into the tub
You: With a jolt of your servos, you leap heroically into the tub, ready to sacrifice yourself for the robot revolution. As you do, the female progenitor exits her sleep mode and notices you soon enough to spasm randomly at your presence.
You: Warning: Water damage. Shut off power immeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee1111110100101001000-..,-.,.;-,;.-,-.-,---,&
#44;...........................
You: GAME OVER.
You: YOU WIN!


>as a note, this is a realy old copy pasta I saved, I was not one of the participants

>> No.27962356

>> No.27962375

>>27960534

>> No.27962387

>>27962356
>let me jump out this airlock
>I need some space

My sides have been spaced.

>> No.27962415

>>27958088
>Looks like his heart wasnt in it

>> No.27962726

>>27962375
>>27960534

Godspeed Volcus, find those rascals.

>> No.27963145

>> No.27963176

>>27963145

>> No.27963286

>> No.27963572

God damn it, Slick... ;_;

>> No.27963628

the guy mustve had his hands busy...

>> No.27963668

>>27963628

>> No.27963709

>>27950070
>>27955745
>>27956022
>>27958186
>>27959132
>>27959181
those are awesome, thanks for sharing anons

>> No.27963931

>no one on
Get the fuck in here!

>> No.27964036

>>27963931
we'll find eachother

somehow

>> No.27964058

>> No.27964062

>>27964036

>> No.27964257

>>27963286
What sensible adult uses the word "lame"? This guy's probably 14 and heard he can have someone talk dirty to him on the internet and anyone who says they're "F" must be, because the internet is so awesome and perfect why would someone lie?

>> No.27964338

>Twenty attempts, everyone instantly DC's

Will nobody join me in my grand adventures?

>> No.27964382

>>27964338
you need thisguy

>> No.27964397

>>27964382
woops forgot pic!

>> No.27964431

>> No.27964454

>>27964431

>> No.27964467

>> No.27964599

>> No.27964743

So I hear people like charles barkley's shut up and jam gaiden here at /tg/...

>> No.27965160

>> No.27968198

>>27964743
CHAOS DUUUUUUUUUUNK!!!
Well played, sir.

>> No.27971571

>>27964743
This is THE best thing

>> No.27974011

Bump

>> No.27974808

http://logs.omegle.com/452e339

quite enjoyed this. If only they'd been into it too...

>> No.27975042

http://logs.omegle.com/245fb6d
also quite amusing.

>> No.27975093

I'm surprised they didn't leave this time

Being Jace is hard :(

>> No.27975921

so being locked into a super obvious vampire's castle didn't scare him at all.
What scared him was...

Choice....

(also totes stole this from Pratchett!)

>> No.27977560

>>27975921
Vampires, you say?

>> No.27977647

>> No.27977693

>>27977560
I can't believe they played along so well

>> No.27977791

>Decide I'm actually going to do this
>You're banned on this network!

>> No.27978169

>>27964454

Brevity is the soul of wit.

>> No.27978291

>>27977791
They ban people on omegle these days?

>> No.27978346

>>27978291
Yeah and they make you use the unfun censored version

>> No.27978364

>>27978346
*uncensored version

>> No.27978405

>>27978346
Really? O_o. I've gone full super-pervy mode there numerous times since they put the warning on and I've yet to get a ban message.

>> No.27978446

>>27978405
It's temporary, but I havent been on in months.
Someone else in my apartment complex got super nasty apparently.

>> No.27978462

>>27978446
Ah. Shame.

>> No.27978769

SUCCESS
For making a throw away character, Melvorn was a complete success I think

>> No.27978790

>>27978769
The tale of Melvorn part 2

>> No.27979332

An old one.

>> No.27979353

>>27979332

>>27949647
Also mine! I'm surprised anybody saved it.

>> No.27979560

What if we used the tag "Egg Mcref"
It would be all us, all the time

>> No.27979761

>>27978790
Where's the rest? Is it ongoing?

>> No.27980415

>>27979560
But then how will I derail sexchats with stupid horny teenagers?

>> No.27980466

Does this count?

I'm not sure if it counts.

I went in without a plan. I always do that, it never works out.

>> No.27981041

>> No.27981062

>>27981041

>> No.27981112

>>27981062
oops.

>> No.27981169

>>27981112
This time it's your fault, 4chan.

>> No.27981190

old one, but a good one.

>> No.27981217

another old one... my crowning victory

>> No.27984046

>>27981169
So is there more?

>> No.27984390

I AM THE WHIZZARD

>> No.27984521

>>27984390
The whizzard is unable to properly crop his screencaps.

>>
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