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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.27838093 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

All word and pixel /tg/-related lewdness is welcome here, so long as the rules are followed. Writefags, please use pastebin/1d4chan rather than dumping for long stories so they don't get lost in between threads; drawfags with uncensored pictures need to host their images offsite and link to them. Enjoy; remember to play nice and that all contributions and requests are welcome!

>> No.27838110

Might as well state that I'll start working on harlequin smut.

I've got an idea in my head with what to do with it.

>> No.27838123

>>27838110
I'm sure Lewdanon would be eternally grateful for it. I know I would be.

>> No.27838132

>>27838093
Master pastebin (contains all links to recently added and/or modified stories)
http://pastebin.com/JbeDnCAP

>> No.27838174

>>27838123
Not to give anything away, but they are performers. I already know how to end it. I know how to begin it. But I need to research things. I'm thinking Commoragh.

>> No.27838191

>>27838110
Remember, bonus points if it involves culteest chan.

>> No.27838237

>>27838174
Go for it. Mine is set in a craftworld, so it'll be interesting to see harlequin sexing on each end of the Eldar spectrum.
Now we just need someone to write an Exodite one

>> No.27838269

>>27838237
What would a good length be, 2-6k words?

I could do 500 for intro, 1000 for one, 1000 for another, 1000 for a third, and 500 for a closer.

>> No.27838317

>>27838269
Basically. But focus on like the story itself then length. Details , setup, and plot are probably more important.

>> No.27838335

>>27838317
>Introduction and set up.
>The Rise
>The Fall
>The Aftermath
>The close and Warning

>> No.27838405

>>27838335
Sounds good to me.

>> No.27838413

>>27838269
Hard to tell. Mind tend to run between 4-8 pages of setup and then about two thirds of that again with the sex itself. Then again, mine tend to run long and you seem to be going for something completely different. 1000 words per "act" should run about 2 pages in a word document using times and 12 font. That means about 6 pages of action total. Daunting, but quite enticing. Just don't let the word count constrain you: if you get done sooner, so be it; but I suspect you'll run longer than you intend. This is usually a good thing.

You have intrigued me, good sir anon. I look forward to reading what you produce.

>> No.27838486

>>27838191
Neat monk, but I posted this. Somebody out in the great big 4chan is very confused right now.

>> No.27838818

smutbump

>> No.27840408

Diamond in the Rough
http://pastebin.com/jty68Xz4
Harlequin x random eldar guy, straight

This one is dedicated to Lewdanon.

Sorry for taking so long. If it's any consolation, I think this might contain my single longest continual sex scene to date.
Have fun with that.

>> No.27840435

>>27838818
CHILD

BEARING

HIPS

>> No.27840631

>>27840408
that was awesome, and fuck me that last line destroyed my sides...

now for some reason I imagine them traveling the galaxy in search of the best pie to use in bed

>> No.27840969

Does anyone know who this is supposed to be?
How about the eldar girl with the eye patch?

>> No.27841109

>>27840408
>pic related

>>27840969
That's Yriel and Veilwalkers kid.
In my headcanon at least...

>> No.27841192

>>27841109
Glad you liked it.
Sorry it wasn't about Yriel or Cultist, I just get too nervous when writing about established characters. It all comes out wonky and awkward.

>> No.27841329

Lewd, you should draw more faultykai girls swapping clothes. Nothing quite as sexy as an Imperium or eldar or tau chick cosplaying as a KHAY-OSS chick, or the inverse.

>> No.27841380

>>27841192
I'd already be happy with more reverse rape stories.

>> No.27841491

>>27838486
As opposed to the natural state of confusion existing on 4chan?

>> No.27841709

>>27841192
Oh no, it's absolutely perfect as it is. You have my undying gratitude Smutomancer, now and forever.

>> No.27841940

>>27838093
...Seriously, how the fuck did this happen?
I only made a SINGLE post in the last one...

>>27838317
Indeed, NEVER try to force a word count, good short smut is leagues ahead of long crappy smut.

>>27838486
I thought it fit perfectly with the koan of adding more Cultist...

>>27838818
I have no idea what is going on here, but I love the look under Krieg-tan's Gas Mask.
How is it your most expressive character has her entire face concealed?

>>27841109
Man, that's quite the boner he pulled there!

Revision CuttleDaemonette Attack work BEGINS NOW!!!

>> No.27841982

>>27841940
I think it has something to do with keeping the master link in the OP. That's what happened before when it tripped the autosage early.

>> No.27842028

>>27841982
Ah, probably an automated anti spambot feature then, good to know for future reference.

>> No.27842043

>>27842028
Possibly. I don't understand why it didn't react all the other times the link was in the OP, though. No matter- it's something I'll keep in mind next week. (And hopefully everyone will have some good stuff by then- I've got a birthday coming up that week.)

>> No.27842128

The Interlewd for Macha is now finished on 1d4chan. I trust anyone who would want to read it already knows how to find it, but I'll post the biglarge link anyway.

1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Final_Saga_of_Macha_the_Ever-Virgin:_Extra_Large_Heresy#Inter-Lewd:_Leon_and_Macha_Make_a_Porno

>> No.27842235

>>27842128
I can only imagine Taldeer's rage when Macha decided to reveal that she had snuck on to show off her exploits. (Considerable bragging on Macha's part is an inevitability, naturally.) "What's wrong, sister? You don't like surprises?"

>“My parents are fucked up."
That's true in the same way that it would be correct to say that Khorne has an anger control issue.

>> No.27842266

>>27842235
Oh, I nearly forgot to add the links to the complementary Lewdanon pictures- particularly appropriate this time around, if I do say so myself.

http://imgur.com/xvTc53I
http://imgur.com/hl5Hwrv#0

>> No.27842539

It sure got quiet here all of a sudden. Did everyone leave or are they just fapping?

>> No.27842554

>>27842539
I dunno. I'm writing about Sisters and reviewing the ass muscles.

>> No.27842569

>>27842554
Ok. Also, nice work with the interlewd. So did Macha decide to reveal herself to Taldeer right after those events or did she wait until after she brought Leon back?

>> No.27842578

>>27842569
I'd imagine she'd just leave and cut her sanity losses.

>> No.27842627

>>27842578
I take it that's when she decided to head back and reunite with her old flame, then. In retrospect, I'm not entirely surprised she decided to go with the dynamic entry.

>> No.27842650

>>27842539
Eh, I can't into the proper headspace for Smutwritting, so I'm browsing /tg/ until my muse cooperates...

...NO MINECRAFT FOR HER UNTIL WE DELIVER ON LEWDS!!!

>>27842554
I approve of Sororita Ass review, just don't forget Dat smooth filling Adipose.

>> No.27842695

>>27842578
>macha
>sane
Getting cockblocked for ages does a mind bad, and the fact that she is an aggressive biet-tan farseer...who knows what she could be capable of.

>> No.27842717

>>27841109

>> No.27842735

>>27842717
That's how Lewd ruined Christmas.

>> No.27842736

>what tg thinks SoBs act like.jpg
And as always, a little music to set the mood for the thread
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBzxnXoW2Dg

>> No.27842788

>>27842695
Well, we saw her meet up with Leon after their three month-seperation by crashing her Raider straight into his Inquisitor's ship and then started blowing him less than two minutes later. You know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder...

>> No.27842860

>>27842695
Need I remind you that in the lead-up to her first time she pounced on him like a deranged gyrinx?

>> No.27842862

>>27842128
Lol Macha: showing porn to Taldeer/LIIVI and NOT expecting them to fuck.

Dat couple knows how to change expectations, that's for sure.

>> No.27842878

>>27842860
I believe i can recall that good sir.

>> No.27842905

>>27842736
Meh, the ape grunting offends my delicate Sapphic taste...
I prefer a nice Piano and Strings affair for congratulatory cuddlings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWEt_VgLOWY

>> No.27842927

>>27842735
That's how Lewd *saved* Christmas
FTFY

>> No.27843046

>>27842788
She was just hungry and wanted to stuff her face at Leon's manmeat buffet.

Who can blame her.

>> No.27843049

>>27840408
>honking intensifies

>> No.27843187

>>27843046
Nigga dat's gay.

>> No.27843226

>>27843046
Like I said, absence makes the heart grow fonder. And going three months without any more action must have been quite difficult to endure for her after experiencing the real thing.

>> No.27843260

>>27838335
You left out the climax, which is rather important in porn.

For porn, however, I prefer the three act structure to the five. More room for multiple orgasm.

>> No.27843324

>>27843260
I assumed each of the three central bits stood for their own respective climaxes, the action hitting it's cresendo to represent each major point in Eldar History...

...Then again, I over think these things...

>> No.27843626

>>27843260
I think he was describing the setup for one of the Harlequins' performances.

>> No.27843865

>>27843626
I figured that a Eldar harlequinade would be something like a grimly dark combination of kabuki and Commedia dell’arte.

>> No.27843894

>>27841709
>mfw she said Solitaire and non-sexually creampied him when he was shocked.
Lmao.

>> No.27843901

>>27843894
Talk about clowning around.

>> No.27844208

Well, things seem to have slowed to a crawl.

Shall I dump the first part of that thing I've been working on?

>> No.27844215

>>27844208
Of course.

>> No.27844274

>>27844208
Well I'm stuck outside of the proper mood for smutwriting, so no progress on CuttleDaemonette attack...

I've been reading the Love and Krieg entry on 1d4chan, but that's just giving me ideas for my personal headcanon...

Hopefully a dump will get me thinking write 'n propa...

>> No.27844288

>>27844215
“Sister Aina, what exactly are you doing?”

The Celestian's head snapped up as her body turned and rose into a low crouch, and she found herself gazing up at Canoness Sara: her immediate superior and the woman she had been charged with guarding. She quickly tucked her knife into the sheath on her back, but she had been too slow to do so. The Canoness had eyes more suited to a bird of prey than a human, and was far too keen to have missed such a detail.

“Nothing, ma'am,” she lied, hoping to at least maintain the facade long enough for Sister Sara to lose interest in the subject. Why was she even visiting the shrine at this time of night, anyway?

The Sister gave Aina a warm smile, and the Celestian knew what would come next. Those eyes still pierced her, sharp and cold like two spikes of ice that drove straight through her armor and froze her heart. The Canoness was bidding Aina to speak in confidence, but simultaneously warning her that further lies would be a waste of effort before the surgical precision with which she could dissect her words.

“Then what were you about to do with your knife? You can talk to me, Aina,” Sara insisted.

>> No.27844319

>>27844288
Aina faltered, too ashamed to respond. She merely hung her head in silence and knelt before her superior.

“This is about yesterday's incident, isn't it?”

The Celestian nodded silently, still overcome with shame, trying desperately to make herself smaller. To disappear into the floor. To escape to anywhere but here... all in vain. She could find no way to escape what tormented her.

Canoness Sara knelt in front of her guard and lifted her chin, staring into the young woman's eyes. What she saw was pitiable: a warrior of faith forged in adversity and inborn skill tempered in battle, brought low by something over which she had no control. The misfortune from which Sister Aina still suffered was that of her birth. For to be born on the world of Carlos McConnell left an indelible mark, one which was plainly visible for all to see.

“Remove your armor, Sister,” the Canoness ordered. “Leave it by the shrine and report to my quarters in fifteen minutes.”

And then, she left.

>> No.27844321

>>27844288
Ooooh, I feel the Lewd about to overtake me, IT IS A GOOD PAIN!!!

>> No.27844359

>>27844319
Alone with her thoughts, Aina knelt before the small statue of Silvana and pondered what her superior intended for her. With a resigned sigh, she concluded that she had no way of knowing, and began the process of stripping away her power armor. The silver gauntlets came off first, allowing her fingertips to more easily find the releases elsewhere. Next came the buttons and snaps that affixed the white robes to her armor, which she folded nearly and placed next to the gauntlets. Then she removed her curaiss, exposing herself to the cold air in the shrine with a shudder. Once the curaiss had been lain carefully atop the robes, the felinid quickly removed the armor from her legs and feet.

The marble floor was frigid, so she stole quietly from the room and padded down the hallway to retrieve her airy white robes from her quarters. These did little to guard her from the persistent chill aboard the cruiser, but they at least preserved some of her modesty. They also, incidentally, gave her a place to hide her long, feline tail.

After fourteen minutes and thirty seconds, Aina found herself standing in front of the door to Canoness Sara's quarters. With some degree of trepidation, she rapped her knuckles against the metal.

“It's open,” came the Canoness' voice from within. Sister Aina cautiously rotated the deep-set handle, and popped the hatch open.

>> No.27844409

>>27844359
Inside the room the air was warmer, and the whole space felt far more inviting than the areas of the ship she'd seen before. Sara rose from behind her desk to face her guest as she shut the hatch, her eyes much softer than before. “Please stand at attention,” she asked, somewhere between an order and a request. Aina silently obeyed, standing straight with her feet together.

With a single motion, the Canoness lifted her silken robes from her shoulders and allowed them to fall to the floor. Aina tried to stifle a little gasp when she realized that her superior was wearing nothing underneath. She felt her eyes drift momentarily downward before she forced her gaze back up to Sara's face and held it there resolutely.

“What do you see when you look at me, Sister?”

Aina allowed her gaze to dip again, briefly admiring what she saw: toned muscles, appropriate to a woman who had spent most of her life in combat or in training, marred by a plasma burn on her side and a series of slash-marks along her arms and one on her thigh. Like the scar across her eye that the Celestian had always been able to see, they did little to detract from Sara's stunning appearance. Her ebony hair stood in stark contrast to her skin: once dusky, now paled somewhat from having been encased so long beneath layers of cloth and ceramite, far from the alien suns that would have otherwise darkened it over the years.

After having lost herself in the details, Aina was suddenly aware of strong hands against her own flesh. They slid firmly up from just above her modest breasts, then along the length of her shoulders. The felinid sighed, savoring the reassuring physical presence offered by her superior's touch.

>> No.27844429

>>27844409
“When I first looked at you,” Sara began as she laid her Celestian's body bare, “I saw a warrior who represented what Silvana herself held most dear. Many thought you less than human, impure, and unworthy: even within our Order. And yet your faith and your deeds won them over.”

Tears began to well up in Aina's eyes as the Canoness held her close to her chest. “The guardsmen said such cruel things to me... even after we saved their lives,” she said, barely louder than a whisper. “I don't understand it. It was all I could do to try and ignore them.”

“They were fools,” Sara reassured her, running her fingertips lightly through Aina's hair. “Their faith was shallow if they thought you any less than the rest of us. You're a Celestian, the handpicked elite of the Adepta Sororitas: that alone should inspire confidence. Our presence brings hope and determination where Faith in the Emperor alone is not enough.”

Then, the Canoness led Aina to her bed, sitting her down on the edge. She kissed the felinid on the cheek before allowed the young Celestian to lay her head in her lap. “Mutilating yourself is not the answer to your problem, kitten.”

>> No.27844467

>>27844429
Looking good so far. The idea of an abhuman being inducted into the Adepta Sororitas is a little far-fetched, but we've all seen that there's no such thing as an impossible event, especially on these threads.

>> No.27844480

>>27844429
;_; oh no, she's been cutting herself.

>> No.27844491

>>27844480
I think she was about to cut off her ears and/or tail in particular.

>> No.27844504

>>27844429
“Then what is?” Aina asked from below, sounding more tired now than upset. “I thought I was past having to prove myself.”

“Learn to have faith in yourself, as the rest of us have faith in you,” Sara offered, scratching her feline ears gently. “You saw how quickly the others came to your defense.”

“And don't cut off your tail, for Throne's sake,” she continued with genuine smile as she leaned back onto the bed. “I think it's rather cute.”

“... thank you, Sara.”

The Canoness placed her hands firmly on Aina's shoulders, maneuvering her into position. “If you want to thank me,” she purred, holding the felinid's chin to meet her eyes, “then do it properly.”

End Part 1

>> No.27844564

>>27844467
That's why I chose to have her in the Argent Shroud. They're the ones that are most about altruism and faith rather than just burning everything, so if it would ever happen that'd be the Order it would happen in.
>>27844491
Exactly. She was about to cut her tail off. As it happens, the reason the Canoness went to the shrine at all was because other Celestians had expressed concern that their youngest member was about to do something stupid.

>> No.27844583

>>27844504
A fine introduction, if I do say so myself.

Just a quick heads-up- I'll be heading out for a little while and although I'll still be able to watch the thread from my smartphone, I probably won't be able to archive anything until I get back. Edinbro, if you can come up with a title for this I can make a pastebin for it on your behalf and put that in the master link.

>> No.27844614

>>27844583
God I suck at naming stuff, though.

I'll see what I come up with once my dinner's been cooked.

>> No.27844639

>>27844583
Just use archive foolz and search "Edinbro"
Its like magic.

>> No.27844677

>>27844564
Ah, I didn't realize the connection until now- I should have known that the Argent Shroud would be more tolerant of abhumans than the other Orders might be. Given the more common depiction of the Sisters of Battle, it's easy to forget the "nuns" part of the "nuns with guns" equation.

>>27844614
You and me both.

>>27844639
I know how to use foolz, but it's really hard to type things up on a tiny touchpad and for some reason the copypaste function on my phone's web browser isn't working.

Anyhow, I'm curious if JWF is around- it seems that the cliffhanger at the end of SM part 7 was quite effective judging by last thread.

>> No.27844689

>>27844467
Well the entire point is how the Felnid's adhuman shame allows for Sister Superior Comforting...

...Makes me want to write a scene where Aina meets with a post-Femarine'd Aine Walperga, the former gapping at the latter's hugeness while she reassures smaller Sister that her Felnid traits in no way reduce her in the Eyes of the God Empress...

But enough gabbing, I must return to my own Catgirl earnibbling work!

>> No.27844795

Someone email the mods again please, ND is trying to shit up this thread too.

And so this post isn't a complete waste, heres a picture mildly related to edinbros latest lewd.

>> No.27844841

>>27844795
There's this thing called "the filter". You might want to try it sometime.

But to change the subject, I remember ELH said he'd been working on the next part of Hesperax's Pet. Mind showing off what you've got so far?

>> No.27844990

>>27844504
>need for part 2 intensifies

>> No.27845451

>>27844491
That's so sad.

>> No.27845512

>>27845451
Which is what makes the Canoness Caring all the sweeter!

>> No.27845573

>>27844841

I'm actually going to namefag for once. Enjoy it while it lasts.

See, I've rewritten the actual portion about 5 times now. It involves a VERY careful balance of S/M that I haven't quite hit yet. Too much and it's just torture, too little and it's not worthy of Hesperax. Whenever I'm happy with it, you'll get it.

Other than that, it has a fuckton of denial, some creative combat drug use, and bondage. There's also a quick glimpse into the life of the Queen, if you're into that.

Sandworm stuff is actually going amazingly. It's become more an adorable monstergirl story than smut, so sorry if you were expecting massive lewds.

Lofn stuff is kinda on hiatus, simply because I'm debating where to go with it.

My backlog is going to be reset to Tyranids and Shadowrun exclusively, so apologies if there was something in there you wanted.

Now someone give me something to greentext so I can contribute something meaningful.

>> No.27845913

>>27845573
Something to do with how the amount of lewdness going on has corrupted Lofn's ripper in the best way possible?

>> No.27845956

>>27845913
That Ripper, he's seen some shit. Things you wouldn't believe, that your mind couldn't possibly comprehend. He has gazed long into the Abyss, and it has gazed into him.

>> No.27846042

>>27845573
Maybe Macha trying to make a withdrawal from a sperm bank even though they don't work that way. And then she tries to rob the place.

>> No.27846098

>>27844504
God that's adorable.

>> No.27846099

>>27845573
Lofn at the therapist?

>> No.27846110

>>27846098
Dawwww

>> No.27846175

>>27846098
She seems terrified.

>> No.27846194

>>27846098
That poor kitty, she looks so traumatized!!!

>> No.27846283

>>27846175
Glad I'm not the only one who thought that.

>> No.27846284

>>27845573
Thanks for the progress report. I'm sure you'll strike the right balance eventually- I would hate to see it go unfinished.

>> No.27846313

>>27846098
>Dat filename
>not petting her pussy
Missed opportunity Lewd.

>> No.27846314

>>27845913
>>27845956

> "...Uhhhh Grandpa, you know a lot about Tyranids, right?"
> "Of course. Is something wrong with Ripper, Lofn?"
> "I think so! He's changed! A lot! I actually don't think he is a he anymore!"
> "...What do you mean?"
> "Well, look!"
> Lofn offers out Ripper, who looks like a loli-version of pic-related
> "...How long have you been hanging around your Aunt and Mother?"
> "A lot! They're my family after all! But what does that have to do with my Ripper?"
> "Unyuu?"
> "And why is he always trying to grope me?!"
> "..."
> "Grandpa?"
> "Let's just say you might want to cut back on the amount of sexy things you expose Ripper to. They are a rather imitative species after all."
> "...That might be hard...but I'll have to try!"
> Lofn leaves
> "...Just as planned."

>>27846042

> "PUT THE JIZZ IN THE BAG!"
> "Ma'am, it doesn't work like that. We just collect samples, freeze them, then ship them out to those who qualify for fertilization."
> "BUT HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A MILKSHAKE?!"
> "...How about you actually get laid?"
> "OH IT'S SOOOO EASY. JUST GET LAID MACHA. YEAH. I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT."

>>27846099

> "Tell me about your father."
> "Well, he's nice. And big. And strong. I feel really safe around him."
> "Hmmm, and yet there's something about him that disturbs you."
> "Yeah...I feel really jealous any time Mom hangs around him. Like I want him to only pay attention to me."
> "I see. It is natural for a child to desire parental affection."
> "But it's more than that! I want...more..."
> "...Well it's a good thing we've got time on our hands."

>> No.27846345

>>27846314
That middle one. Fukken' A.

>> No.27846348

>>27846284
That said, I'd be grateful for anyone else to step up and write a bit of Dark Eldar smut while ELH is busy. Can't let the Craftworlders have all the fun, can we?

>> No.27846373

>>27846314
MOAR THERAPY.

>> No.27846415

>>27846175
>>27846194
It kinda looks like she's come to some sort of startling realization.

>> No.27846523

>>27846415
Well in the context of what you've given us, I'd say she's got the thousand yard stare from all the Adhuman abuse she's had to put up with...

...But I'm guessing there is futa involved?

>> No.27846530

>>27846345
my fetish is sated, now to play more Payday

>> No.27846542

>>27846314
>"But it's more than that! I want...more..."

>> No.27846560

>>27846523
Um. Not. That.

>> No.27846573

>>27845573
Archivist Anon here, posting from a spare computer. When you say that it involves a careful balance of S/M, do you mean a balance between the cuddling and the more...typical DE activities? Just kind of curious about what you mean there. Slightly disappointed, maybe, but I'll live.

Anyhow, the greentexts are all archived now. As always, they're comedy gold. Good thing too- I'm feeling a little on the grumpy side due to unrelated events.

>> No.27846575

>>27846314
Now I need more Macha drinking a Mon-keigh manjuice milkshake, awww.

>> No.27846578

>>27846523
>I'm guessing there is futa involved?
Wishful thinking, faggot.

>> No.27846639

>>27846560
AWESOME, I just wondered because you ended exactly at the time someone would whip out a dick...

...I've been on /d/ too long...

>>27846542
Parental complexes always leave you wanting "More..."

...Why do you think my NiceDaemonette's are all Momcon for Slaanesh?

>was turforei
Indeed Captcha, I do take a lot of insperation from Evangelion...

>> No.27846646

>>27846542
>"Oh Mom's not home right now, she said she'd be working late...but maybe I could be Mom tonight?"
>Cue her lewd dream while sleeping and making sucking noises in her sleep
>Taldeer and LIIVI just wondering what's she's doing but rule it "adorable" like when she was a baby.
Incestual misunderstandings are the best.

>> No.27846666

>>27846373
>>27846542

> "It's like...I know it's wrong to feel this way, but I can't help it. Every time he's near I..."
> Lofn squirms on the couch, obviously embarrassed and aroused
> "It's important to realize that these desires can be perfectly normal and acceptable. The key is not to act on them or to do so in an appropriate fashion."
> "But how am I supposed to explain this to him, or even my mother?"
> "A nice calm, rational discussion might work wonders."
> "...I guess. But how am I going to tell my boyfriend I want to call him Daddy..."
> "...I don't get paid enough for this."

>>27846575

> "Virtanen!"
> "...What?"
> Macha slams down a blender
> "I want a milkshake, and you're going to help me."
> "Oh for the love of..."
> "And it better be extra creamy. You've been eating those Pineapples, right?"
> "...The shit I do for love..."

>> No.27846685

>>27846098
>catgirl's face
>"Why are you taking pictures you creeper?"

>> No.27846693

>>27846575

>"BUT HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A MILKSHAKE?!"

How about Macha used her psychic powers to make herself lactate. She could make her own 'milkshake' that brings boys to the yard, so to speak.

>> No.27846718

>>27838093
>musnt schlick
>fap is quickly becoming go-to vernacular
I wished I lived in a society that didn't feel the need to invent cutesy, childish euphemisms for anything sexual.

>> No.27846726

>>27846666
This does make one wonder how fucked up LIIVI is socially, he might actual mistake this for normal and Lofn ends up the half-sister to her own baby...

>> No.27846734

>>27846718
It's easier to say quickly than "masturbate".

>> No.27846748

>>27846718

schlick isnt cutesy, frankly it sounds gross to me

>> No.27846750

>>27846666
Dem evil quads have spoken. These are truely vile and hot concepts that could be explored at a later date

>> No.27846777

>>27846718
well, a convenient euphemism derived from onomatopoeia isn't necessarily "cutesy", just an easy stand in for a much longer word i.e "masturbation".

>> No.27846781

>>27846693

> "Virtanen!"
> "WHAT?!"
> Macha slams down a blender
> "I'm going to make you a milkshake."
> "But you JUST had one, and I'm spent."
> "No you fool. I'm going to use MY milk this time."
> "...Now this I can get behind."

>> No.27846813

>>27846693
YES!!!
...Too bad Craftworld Eldar probably rule this as verboten...


Sigh... If only they would accept Slaanesh into their hearts...

>>27846748
It's a better onomatopoeia then "Sklortch"...

>> No.27846815

>>27846666
Oh dear that confession might go horribly wrong, it be a real shame if Lofn admitted she want's the LIIVI dick, and causes her parents to feel super shame at failing at parenthood.

But maybe Lofn's boyfriend could help her out and go back to becoming a normal, hormonally frustrated, and sexually confused teenager. And by get over I mean the Big E pounding Lofn and slapping her ass while saying he's gonna "ground that naughty child of hers"

>> No.27846877

what rules does the OP speak of?

Are there really rules for smut, or just the general site rules of /tg/?

>> No.27846893

>>27840969
>>27841109
What's here name? I imagine her forming a friendly rivalry with Lofn...

>Who are you and how did you get in here?!
>Relax kid, just doin' some explorin'.
>IN MY ROOM?
>My Path takes me where my Path takes me, kid.
>You're the same age as me! Stop calling me kid!
>Sure kid, whatever.
>...
>Hey, who's this guy?
>Put that down! It's a picture of dad!
>You're half mon'keigh? That explains a lot.
>Uh, yeah? So?!
>He's sure got a big gun.
>What?
>Your dad. His rifle is huge. He's really packing heat.
>Uh... yes. Yes he is.
>You should see MY dad's Spear of Twilight.
>Oh, is he some kind of-
>It's almost as long as his dick.

>> No.27846919

>>27846666
>Cue Macha giving a messy "completed" titjob to Virtanen and using her finger to lick a bit and say: "Mmm pineapples"

>> No.27846930

>>27846877
It's rules for what you can post in the thread so we don't get modhammered for posting smut on a blue board. It mostly boils down to:

> Put lewd stories on Pastebin and link to them there
> Censor lewd images, don't spoiler them
> If you really must put lewd text in the thread, spoiler it

>> No.27846940

>>27846815

Basically, I know Lofn x Big E are going to be Daddy/Little, but it's fleshing out the path to it that I'm stuck on at the moment.

>>27846919
While using her own milk as lube

>> No.27846944

>>27846893
Woah over the line kiddo.
I almost spit out my coffee

>> No.27846948

>>27846877
General site rules. No tits or vag, nothing too explicit in text, etc.
Posting links is fine, though evidently not in the OP. Links also save on space. Pastebin is the generally accepted best option.

>> No.27846970

>>27846948
Learned that one the hard way.

>> No.27846995

>>27846944
Sorry, but that look on her face makes me think she gives zero fucks.
Beside, taunting Lofn would be a lot of fun.

>> No.27846998

>>27846781
>"VIRTANEN! HELP!!!"
>"Oh now wh- Mother of... WHAT HAPPENED?!"
>"I got a little too carried away milking myself, and they just started growing... Now they won't stop!!!"
>"Ok, just calm down, we can figure this out, we just need to think..."
>"Oooooh Isha... nooooo~"
>"What now?!"
>"I-I can feel... I can feel myself growing another another pair!"

>Meanwhile, in the Warp...
>Slaanesh: "Kukuku, just as planned!'
>Tzeentch: "HEY, that's my line!!!"

>> No.27847010

>>27846573

Somehow missed this. The answer is yes and no. Inflicting/Receiving pain is an art, one that comes in many forms. Cuddles, however, are universal.

>> No.27847011

>>27846940
Right....how about her doing some recreational Eldar things on the craftworld and running into Lil E. Then they start dating and Lil-E meets Lofn's parents and shenanigans ensue, but is sucessful overall....and then they get to the lewd part where Lofn gets her mind blown by E's thousands of years of experience. Followed by Lil E needing to go back to work but uses the webway gate to come back every so weekend anyways. And Lofn gets noticeably happier although she now gets 2bodyguards from the Adeptus Custodes, who wear suits and sunglasses over their golden armor and follow her everywhere humorously

>> No.27847054

>>27846998
Well looks like the Eldar equivalent for hairy palms.

>> No.27847068

>>27846998
...leave the greentexts to someone who can do them right. That's not funny, just gross.

>> No.27847069

>>27847011
>Adeptus Custodes, who wear suits and sunglasses over their golden armor

Custodes puts on sunglasses.
"Deal with it"
Walks away.

>> No.27847088

>>27846781
>>27846998

Somebody needs to draw this...

>> No.27847100

>>27847011
Custodes don't wear the golden power armor anymore. Ever since the Heresy they go bare chested in capes and trousers.

Given how perfectly sculpted LIIVI must be, having two barrel-chested hunks of mon'keigh man meat just hanging out around her...
Her issues are just going to keep piling up, aren't they?
Especially since the Custodes would rather die than betray Lil' E's trust.

Delicious Lofn lusting for untouchable beefcake.

>> No.27847105

>>27846919
Why is this not happening!

>> No.27847129

>>27847011
>>27847069

This is good.

> "Do they HAVE to follow me around?"
> "I just want you to be safe, little one."
> "But they're big, and stand out! People look at me funny..."
> "You'll get used to it. You'd be surprised how stealthy they can be some times."
> "Hmph...fine. Well, have fun back on Terra. I'll see you next week."
> They kiss and Big E GTFOs
> Lofn stares at the two Adeptus Custodes
> "So... I'm going to go watch the nastiest porn in the world now. What are you going to do about it?"
> "The Codex Custodes dictates we must 'Deal with it.'"
> "Good. Now go fetch me the whipped cream."
> "...The Codex Custodes does not support this action..."
> "What was that?"
> "At once, Milady."

>> No.27847142

>>27847100
Awww don't be silly, lets let Lofn have her happy ending.... her best eldar friends can instead be the ones lusting for golden beefcake.

>> No.27847157

>>27847069
>Custodes puts on sunglasses.
>"Deal with it"
>Walks away.

mah brutha

>> No.27847168

>>27847129
>Codex Custodes
>entire section on how to deal with divas and fat bureaucrats.
Only the best.

>> No.27847195

>>27847105
Let us pray to Saint Lewd for his blessing.

>> No.27847208

>>27847054
Yes, poor Macha is going to have to go home for help with such maladies as multiple massive breast, growing horns, and maybe even an Udder and tail...

So embarrassing...

...She's keeping dem hips though.

>>27847068
No Anon, this is what we call "Not your fetish."

>>27847069
>>27847129
>>27847168
Why am I now imagining these two Custodes being the Warham versions of Agents J and K?

>> No.27847218

>>27846998
>implying Petrinko would let them get rid of her free, unlimited milk source

>> No.27847264

>>27847010
I don't really understand, but I'll take your word for it. I'll get the rest of the greentexts copied down when I get back to my computer.

>> No.27847279

>>27847218
Ah yes, the enternal struggle between Cowgirls and the Catgirls who milk them...

>"I am not some sort of domesticated livestock, you multated Mon'keigh!"
>"O RLY?" *Noms.*
>"Muh-muhooooooooouh!"

>> No.27847288

>>27847208
What did we tell you about forcing your headcanon on on other people? (The answer is "Don't.)

>> No.27847298

>>27847168
>with the Emperor's return the Custodes have been bumped up to "bouncers" for the various parties now taking place on Terra following the Emperor's return.
>Consequently they have been bulking out and hitting the Custodian Super-Gym to turn themselves into ruthless doormen.

>> No.27847315

>>27846893

>> No.27847344

>>27847264
I know a chick that's into bondage. She described it to me as an act of complete trust and and control. When you put yourself completely at another person's mercy and you actually trust them, the intimacy you build is incredibly strong. According to her, that's just as, if not more, important to her her as the pain/pleasure.

I think he might be going for something along those lines.

>> No.27847374

>>27846919
All that lewd....does Macha have mammalaries though? She isn't a flatseer right?

>> No.27847377

>>27847315
That's cute.

>> No.27847402

>>27847288
I ain't forcing my headcanon on anyone, just putting forth the hypothetical greentext situation where Slaanesh curses Macha to become an Eldar Cowgirl...

>> No.27847403

Dude doing the harlequin story.

Slept on it.

Forgot everything, so I'm glad I wrote it down for your guys.

I'll get to writing after I have a few drinks, some breakfast and my shit gets working.

>> No.27847408

>>27847315
Ha! Adorable.

Now I kinda want to see them using each other to practice making out. Perhaps with Macha and Lelith showing them how its done...

>> No.27847505

>>27847374

She's smallish in comparison to Taldeer, somewhat average by human standards, but no means flat, and more on the perky side.

>> No.27847579

>>27847408
>Alright you two, watch closely. It helps to start by leaning forward and holding on to the back of your partner's head.
>Just watch the hair, flatseer.
>Go to hell, wych; and open your mouth.
>Aunties, I don't really feel comfortable with-
>Shut it kid, this is quality entertai- I mean "quality education"
>She's right, Lofn. You need to learn this sooner or later.
>Shouldn't you have your tongue down someone's throat, flatseer?
>That's it, you're going down!
>Save that for Lesson 2, craftworlder.
>...
>...
>...
>(whispering) I thought she said to put your hand behind their head, not between-
>She was earlier, now shush. I'm tryin' to watch
>Where did you get that popcorn?
>I'm not sharin'
>...
>...
>...
>And that's what we call "Exodite Style"
>Yeah, if you call that style.
>Lelith, I swear to Khaine...
>Anyway, it's time for you two to give it a try.
>Do we have to?
>Might as well, kid. Now open wide.
>No tongue, okay?
>I make no promises.

>> No.27847603

>>27847505
Damn Taldeer's really got a rack. Looks like being a mother has really paid off for her, much to LIIVI's pleasure.
I bet LIIVI titfucks her all the time and completely frosts her mounds and pretty little face, while she moans and begs for it unf

>> No.27847612

>>27847505
And from Smutomancer's work we know Caerys is small enough to be self-conscious about it. Still bigger than Idranel though.

>> No.27847660

>>27847402
Noted. But the greentexts thing is based primarily on the humor factor and that strays just a little to close to magical realm levels. Just saying.

>> No.27847701

>>27847603
She was always like that.

>> No.27847739

>>27846940
>While using her own milk as lube
Damn this needs to be written at some point somehwere.

>> No.27847773

>>27847701
So before I sleep, what sort of weapon should Aina favor? It's going to feature in at some point, and I'm also going to make a mini. Probably some time later this week.

>> No.27847807

>>27847773
A flamer?

>> No.27847815

>>27847660
True, but the real punchline comes from Slaanesh's reason for doing it in the first place.

>"I was feeling like a little "Surf and Turf," now where is that Imperium world with the Lobster Adhumans again?"
>"I think it could use the 'Carlos McConnell treatment'..."

>> No.27847848

>>27847773
>>27847807
How about a webber? Haven't seen one of those in awhile, and it offers a wide range of possibilities.

>> No.27847984

>>27847773
>>27847848
Web Pistol/Chainsword Combo?

I don't know why, but I always imagine mu Nuns with Guns duel wielding with a Chainsword in one hand...

>> No.27848008 [DELETED] 

>>27846919

>> No.27848030

>>27846919
huh..

>> No.27848071

>>27847773

Oh, how about an eviscerator with with the under slung mini-flamer? Sisters and Redemptionists used to be able to take them on a few weapons, they were called "Exterminators."

It doesn't get much more SoB than a fuckhuge chainsword AND a flamer!

>> No.27848116

>>27847773
What do you mean by a mini?

Anyway, hoping we see more of Macha soon as well. She always seems to find new ways of outdoing herself.

>> No.27848133

>>27847815
Wait, where's the joke?

>> No.27848159

>>27843894
> implying solitaire don't give you a wildest sex ever

>> No.27848162

>>27848030
>Macha drinking cum
Always nice to see.

>> No.27848216

>>27848133
Slaanesh is trying to make Cowperson Eldar and Lobsterperson Adhumans flood the Galaxy so s/he can enjoy the metaphysical equivalent of a Steak and Seafood dish...
...It kind of looses it's dark bite if it has to be explained...

>> No.27848283

>>27847773
Good ol fashioned flamer. Kitty like fire.

>> No.27848310

>>27848116
A miniature. As in a very small figure what's made of metal.
>>27847848
That's not exactly a Sisters staple, nor is it in their armory.

I was thinking something that shot bullets or fire, or staked Witches in the face. You know, one of the classics.

>> No.27848316

>>27847773
Master of improvised weaponry.

Or gravity.

You say 'how will she use gravity?'

How often do your cats push things off of other things?

My cat used a car to explode a bigger cat. God damn I love Shadowrun.

>> No.27848317

>>27848216
That would suggest that anyone other than yourself found it funny.

>> No.27848318

>>27848133
The joke is that ND is the Buckley of smut threads.

>> No.27848343

>>27848310
Oh- I thought you meant a mini-fic.My mistake.

>> No.27848374

>>27848316
>You say 'how will she use gravity?'
No, I know perfectly well how cats ignore gravity.
>a gravity defying felinid armed with a gravity gun
Dear Emperor, how heretical.

>> No.27848399

>>27848310
If she's a Celestine, I believe the most appropriate choices would be hand flamers, inferno pistols, or bolters.

>> No.27848409

>>27848316
Good god, you're not kidding. Sometimes I think my cat does things like that just to be a dick.

>> No.27848438

>>27848399
Course she's not going to be Celestine, she's going to be part of a Command Squad.

>> No.27848467

>>27848438
I did not know that. I'll have to go and look up the wargear list then.

>> No.27848523

>>27848409
>felinid goes to war.gif

>> No.27848600

>>27848409
Which is exactly why she needs to utilize gravity.

>Operation Hammer Drop.
>It's just the felinid with a stolen thunder hammer that jumps off of something, swings it hard, and lands lightly.

>> No.27848605

>>27848317
...Never claimed it was a GOOD joke...

>> No.27848619

>>27847344
Was he? Didn't think Lelith was much for intimacy, but it seems that deep down in her blackened heart there's some part of her that's still capable of love (albeit expressed in a highly unorthodox manner by human standards). Am I right, ELH?

>> No.27848890

So... what's everyone working on?

>> No.27848998

>>27848619

Yes. It's like a mixture of Ara Ara + Tsundere.

>> No.27849002

>>27848890
Second draft of CuttleDaemonette Attacks, getting through the good stuff as we type.

>> No.27849163

>>27848890
That's my line!

I'm still not close enough to a computer to archive the greentexts, but I'll be able to do it fairly soon. By the way, I do some work editing documents, so if anyone needs me to look over their stuff before it's officially posted, let me know so I can check for spelling and grammar and all that.

>>27848998
Sounds mighty interesting

>> No.27849258

>>27848890
Just finished memorizing 17 muscles and ligaments in and around the os coxa, as well as a lot of the obvious bony features of the three elements that comprise it. Which I think I can do reliably enough to regurgitate the information in the 60 seconds we have per station for the exam.

Planning out a scene in the yet unnamed fic with the nicest Canoness ever and the fluffiest Celestian, where the Canoness starts speaking High Gothic while they make tender, passionate romance.

Trying to figure out how the fuck to ally IG and SoB on the table. Which do I make the hammer and which does the anvil? Or should I say fuck it and just have two hammers?

Listening to an Achievement Hunter Let's Play with Aerosmith playing in a separate window.

Drinking tea with both hands.

All at the same time.

>> No.27849341

>>27849258
>When all your armies are Hammers, your lewds begin... looking like inappropriate things to do with Hammers...

>> No.27849351

>>27848316

>> No.27849354

>>27849258

Add in playing Pokemon Y and you and I are multitasking the same things (more or less).

Make it two hammers.

>>27849163
Hence why it's taking so long.

>> No.27849437

>>27849354
I should be picking up my copy in a couple of weeks. Remind me to exchange FCs with you then- apparently it opens up some extra stuff in the postgame.

>> No.27849497

>>27849258
With Sisters as the base army, you can still field a shitton of troopers by taking Infantry Platoons. IG only really have 1 really good Elites choice (Marbo), but you will lose out on air support and tanks/hydras from the Fast and Heavy slots.

On the other hand, SoBs are also fairly weak in the elites department, but Seraphim are great and I hear Exorcists are 10pts cheaper now.
IG also have better HQ choices.

It all comes down to how many basic SoB squads you want to take as Troops.

>> No.27849518

>>27849354
Yeah, I'm feeling the two fucking hammers. What do anvils ever do outside of cartoons? THEY GET HIT WITH FUCKING HAMMERS, THAT'S WHAT. CHRIST WHAT A DUMB QUESTION.

Also, how's Fairy working out as a type? And do you know yet how it interacts with Psychic resistances and weaknesses?

>> No.27849590

>>27849437

Opens up a zone per Friend Card that lets you catch three different pokes with 2 perfect IVs

>>27849518
It's amazing. See: http://www.serebii.net/xy/fairytype.shtml

>> No.27849903

Okay, I'm starting to lose it, so it's time to sleep.

Second and final part of that thing with the Sisters will be ready probably by Friday night, no clue if or when ELH will resume, and anything else is up in the air too.

Also, I'll be open to requests next weekend.

>> No.27849983

>>27849590
A shame that there aren't more of them. No matter- I see Xerneas with a Power Herb becoming quite a threat in the metagame with its Geomancy move.

By the way, what does "ara ara" mean, anyway? Google didn't really help me outside the literal translation (and I doubt that it just means "oh my").

>>27849903
Right, see you then. I've got some requests, but I'll wait until then to start sharing them.

>> No.27850043

>>27849983
Go ahead and post 'em. I check my email in the mornings before I go over to the lab, so if there's a thread up in six hours I'll see it. Also, someone else might pick one up.

>> No.27850155

>>27849983

It's an anime trope mostly, see http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ojou

Basically someone very noble/regal or in a position of power who looks at you like you're either an idiot or the most adorable thing in the world.

>> No.27850164

>>27850043
Well, more Dark Eldar stuff is always nice. I remember making a request for a humanxSuccubus twincest fic several months ago that never got filled. Seeing that ELH might take a while, I'd be grateful if you could fill the void of DE-related works for a bit.

Also, I'd like some writefaggotry to go with this pic Lewdanon made a while ago- midair human-on-angel sex. Either of those would be nice.

>> No.27850184

>>27850164
I'll take "The Flying Fuck" for 200 points, then.

>> No.27850269

>>27850184
Can you make it a Kos x Feather fic? From M:tG's first Ravnica block?

>> No.27850270

>>27850184
Excellent. I'm looking forward to it.

>>27850155
The "noble" part is debatable in Lelith's case, but being the leader of the most powerful Wych cult in Comorragh means that she technically fits the bill. No matter- hopefully inspiration will strike sooner rather than later.

>> No.27850281

>>27848890
Forming a band.

>> No.27850326

>>27850281
Lewd...
I love you.

>> No.27850330

>>27850269
Hey, I asked him first. I would rather it be more DnD themed, but you can make the other guy's request into a seperate fic.

>> No.27850394

>>27850281
>Staring at this pick
>Realization slowly dawning on me
>A moment of catharsis as I realize it's the Gorillaz album
>Followed by severe disappointment that it isn't named "Daemon Days"

>> No.27850397 [DELETED] 

>>27850330
If memory serves, the Kos x Feather thing was the request that led to Lewd drawing that in the first place. Or the discussion about angel sex that resulted from it, at least.
That was about a month ago.

>> No.27850428

>>27850281
Is Murdoc Eldrad?

>> No.27850556

>>27850397
> be 40k fag
> read "KoS x Fateweaver"
> mfw

>> No.27850572

>>27850330
Sorry, I'll avoid trying to hijack other people's requests in the future.

Sexy angel smut is sexy angel smut, after all.

>> No.27850592

>>27850556
> KoS x Fateweaver
I REQUEST THIS.

>> No.27850596

>>27850281
Can I join? I play a mean electric trumpet.

>> No.27850645

>>27838818
We need more delicious Krieger

>> No.27850675

>>27848890
Harlequin lewds.

>> No.27850744

I was asked by ND to post this in her absence, to to a sudden temporary ban.
http://pastebin.com/0Y3tRN1A
The finished smutfic, enjoy

>> No.27850753

>>27850556
> mfw
Left head looks quite interested in.

>> No.27850802 [DELETED] 

>>27850744
>ban
Ha!
>temporary
Damn.

And yeah, not gonna read it.

>> No.27850850

>>27850744
So the mods finally did something about ND. Good riddance.

Looked through it- how the FUCK do you misspell "cutie"? Tell "her" to do herself a favor and stay away.

>> No.27850879

>>27850744
> ban
lol

>> No.27850893

>>27850744
>using the word "menstruations" instead of "ministrations"
It's some kind of parody smut. It's the only possible explanation.

>> No.27850967

>>27850645
Let's do this!

>> No.27850971

>>27850281
No squealin' remembah
THAT IT'S ALL IN HER HEAD

>> No.27851029

>>27850971
Motherfuck it's in my head again. I am not feeling glad at all.

>> No.27851039

>>27850675
Don't stop. Never.

>> No.27851089

>>27851029
Welcome to my world for like the last twelve years.

>> No.27851177

>>27850967
Oh god damn it

>> No.27851268

>>27851089
It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, It's comin on, my future. It's comin on.

>> No.27851362

>>27850281
Glorious.

>> No.27851466

>>27850893
I think ND just wrote The Room of porn. Actually no, its not hilariously bad enough to be The Room of porn, its just bad.

>> No.27851479

>>27850967
Dammit, now I want Krieger as a Krieger.

>> No.27851505

>>27851466
So more like the Monster-A-Go-Go of porn, then? I gotta say, it takes real talent to fuck things up THAT badly.

>> No.27851816

>>27850744
Did he say what he got banned for?

>> No.27851946

>>27851816
That probably is ND, just trying to get more views.
That "x told me to post because of x" excuse is as old as the internet.

>> No.27852030

>>27851946
I was thinking exactly that, since his name didn't show up on the banlog and none of his posts in this thread got deleted as is proper protocol for a ban. That and I don't think anyone but himself refers to ND as a female.

He was probably just trying to garner some sympathy for being such a fuckwit.

Ah well, have a blueberry, since these threads have been oddly lacking of them lately.

>> No.27852064

>>27851946
ND did ask someone else to post it in IRC. No idea if they're actually banned or not.

I've got no investment in this, just Saiyin.

>> No.27852089

That's TWO braindead fetish threads on the frontpage. Why don't you all volunteer for Fukushima cleanup duty or something?

>> No.27852098

>>27852030
> That and I don't think anyone but himself refers to ND as a female.
This.

>> No.27852111

>>27852030
Edinbro did mention a ShadowsunxTorchstar fic he had on the backlog.

>> No.27852253 [DELETED] 

>>27852089
Why don't you learn how to use the filter? You'll never have to see this thread or any others like it ever again (let alone waste time telling people to quit their BADWRONGFUN).

>> No.27852380

>>27852030
The banlog doesn't show everything, and maybe the janitors just overlooked his posts because they technically didn't break any global rules. I'm not sure what the standard protocol is in this case, but the important thing is that ND is now someone else's problem.

>> No.27852654

>>27851479
>that pic
yesssss

>> No.27852719

>>27852380

Why said that tau has communism?
Eladr society is closer to idea of shearing common benefits and less private property.

>> No.27852804

Gentlemen, I come bearing a special gift as this thread is entering its later stages. I did some detective work and found the famous "Radical Inquisitor" story thought to have disappeared with Wikichan and archived it so it will not be lost again. Link is right under here, and it's also in the master link as well.

http://pastebin.com/0qnfEJ2q

>> No.27852860

>>27852804
>http://pastebin.com/0qnfEJ2q
Nice call.

>> No.27852884

>>27852380
>>27852030
> this sweet blueberries
I don't think that realistic tau is fapable. I always remember that terrifying oficcial Shadowsan art form codex and it totally kills all my initiative.

>> No.27852971

>>27852380
>maybe the janitors just overlooked his posts because they technically didn't break any global rules.
When you get banned, ALL posts you've made under that ip get deleted. At most, he was just 15 minute temp banned as a janitor put him up for more permanent banning.

Either way, weve given him much more attention than he ever deserved for writing such shit tier smut and being such a prick in these threads.

More blueberries for the rant post.

>> No.27853040

>>27852971
That's probably the case. Whatever, we can run him out as many times as we need to until he either gets the hint or gets permabanned.

>> No.27853627

>>27850675
You still working on it?

And come to think of it, what's everyone else doing?

>> No.27853717

Does Lewd anon have a deviant art? Or some place where we can view his glorious art work.

>> No.27853791

>>27853717
No, but I archive all of his uncensored work on the master link. And 90% of his censored stuff usually ends up on these threads.

Actually a wise move on his part, really. Take up a name and then it's a short jump away of letting all the recognition for your talent go to your head. I've seen more than one drawfag fall from favor that way, and it would be a calamity to see Lewdanon go down that route as well.

>> No.27854210

>>27851466
Is it really just bad or parody bad?
Or worse, is it Seltzer and Friedberg parody bad?

>>27851816
Rule 1, off topic violation for the Namefaggotry rant in the first thread.

Hell of a time to slap it on though, it's been nearly a full day!

>>27852030
>>27852971
Wow, you must be new...
Rule Violation bans get you a single day IP Ban, which may or may not have already expired since it was set to end on the 21st...

>>27853040
Sorry, but you won't be rid of me THAT easily!

>> No.27854322

>>27854210
God, not this shit again.
Do you really need to be such a fag? Please, do me a favour, don't answer.

>> No.27854375

>>27854322
Ignore and report.

>> No.27854423

>>27854210
I knew it was too good to be true...

Good news- it's not Seltzer and Friedberg bad. Bad news, that's because it's more on the lines of "Attack of The The Eye Creatures" bad. Everything I told you about awkward grammar and (unintentionally hilarious) spelling errors has apparently been completely ignored, and the action itself is just plain ...boring, for lack of a better word

Let's face it, some people just aren't cut out for writefaggotry. When I tried it once and had someone on IRC look at it, they told me that they had seen IKEA manuals that were more erotic.

And for the record, rule 1 is "Do not upload, post, discuss, request, or link to, anything that violates local or United States law". Though I would have HOPED that the first ban would have taught you a lesson, but some people just gotta learn the hard way.

>> No.27854441

>Think smut threads are shit and only faggots like them.
>Devise plan
>Create shitty persona
>Proceed to shit up threads and produce retard-tier writing
>Watch regular posters rage
>Continue being a cunt
>Totally distract them from smut
>Allow threads to devolve into insanity.

The plot thickens...

>> No.27854492

>>27854441
Cute, but ND has been a faggot since before these threads existed. And we got Harlequin Honk Sex, so in the end the lewd still won.

>> No.27854534

>>27854441
He's been shitting things up long before the smut theads, you know. He's just a faggot and an attention whore who never seems to learn his lesson.

The people who think smut threads are shit just use more traditional methods of shitposting,

>> No.27854565

>>27854492
BRRRT

>> No.27854604

>>27854423
Hey I can't catch the grammar issues if I don't know what they are!
I'm practically retarded when it comes to language composition, so that's why I crave critical peer review.

As for the hilarious typos, I actually did go in and fix those ever time they were pointed out.

And it was a Rule 1 violation for /tg/'s specific ruleset, off topic discussion not related to Tabletop gaming.

>>27854441
Oh goddess... I AM THE DISEASE!!!

...I must now commit sudoku!

>> No.27854656

>>27854604
>I must now commit sudoku!
You might be needing this, then. And if you survive, don't come back.

>> No.27854710

>>27854656
>You might be needing this, then. And if you survive, don't come back.

>> No.27855230

so how's progress now, then? it got quiet all of a sudden. writing, fapping, or both?

>> No.27855255

>>27855230
I think one anon is still working on a harlequin/DEldar fic. Other than that, who knows?

>> No.27855353

>>27855255
I don't. Ugh, what I wouldn't give to have psychic powers so I can see what stories are going to be written and when- I never could wait for things.

>> No.27855407

>>27855353
Well, at least our good archivist has brought together a rather large collection to help use wait. I suggest one of the longer ones, or one of the series fics.

>> No.27855469

>>27855230
Failing at eroticism and grammar apparently...

>>27855353
But Anon, do you really want to know what we all look like without our clothes on?

>wrong utfolde
Correct Captcha, the unfolds of flesh are something too wrong for mortal eyes to see...

>> No.27855624

>>27855407
But I am the archivist...

>> No.27855768

>>27855624
We could always start a pointless debate about our favorite smutfics.

My fetish is better than your fetish!

>> No.27855788

>>27855768
But how can I do that when I don't know what it is?

>> No.27855798

>>27855788
Man, you're good at this debate thing.

>> No.27855799

>>27855768
But....I love them all!
>All these Taldeer/Macha sexy time and Lofn corruption fics.
I can't hate this

>> No.27855835

>>27855768
>My fetish is better
By what manner do we measure how good a fetish might be?

>> No.27855875

>>27855788
Okay, then how about we discuss what kind of techniques work and which ones don't.

For example, how important is plot?
Some of these fics have intros almost twice as long as the smut. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

>> No.27855903

>>27855875
I dunno...

what's is the endgoal when you write one of these? Just some filthy smut or real A-grade erotica?

>> No.27855911

>>27855875
Always good. It's nice to see characters frolicking around before they stick their parts in eachother.

>> No.27855921

>>27855799
Technically, the only true Lofn corruption fic was "Whips, Oil, and Lofn" over on 1d4chan, and it was met with overwhelming negative reception when it was initially posted (second only to Dranon's Delight in terms of the sheer hatred it generated).

And yeah, Macha's basically turned into our de facto mascot.

>>27855798
I haven't actually started, although when I do...well, let's just say I don't like to think about my pre-archivist days on these threads.

>>27855875
That all depends on the execution and the context. When pulled off just right, the porn and the plot become so intertwined that you simply can't seperate one from the other. Seeding Midnight and Extra Large Heresy come to mind as an example of successfully integrating the two.

>> No.27855986

>>27855903
Well it all comes down to getting the reader off, doesn't it?
Building up a scene is nice, but, like regular porn, sometimes you just want to skip to the fucking and get on with it.

It also takes a lot longer for them to finish writing the stories.

Perhaps our smut writers could start posting the line number (in pastebin) where the characters get down and dirty? That would be the best of both worlds.

>> No.27856007

>>27855835
We require science for this

>> No.27856037

>>27853627
I am. I've got a basic outline laid out, but I'm researching the fall.

Keep your panties on. This is a daunting task.

>> No.27856047

How flowery do people like their smut to be? Personally, constant use of vulgarities just takes me right out of a scene and comes across as amateurish. On the other hand, when the author gets too purple everything goes to shit.

>> No.27856061

>>27855986
Indeed, but with most published erotica one is looking at like 10+ pages of character development and dialogue inbetween each sex scene. Now, at least in my opinion, this would be quite ludicrous to try and recreate here. Not necessarily because of the audacity of asking writefags to keep up that sort of output, but simply because most of the concepts we have don't deserve near that amount of attention.

Personally, I think most of the smut on here is less a focus on sex/fetishes and more so on the actual characters involved. Vanilla sex is vanilla sex, but start throwing in SoB and Imperial Guarsmen and we have a whole new ballgame.

>> No.27856064

>>27856037
Actually, give me any female eldar name. I don't care which one.

>> No.27856086

>>27856064
Dave.

>> No.27856089

>>27856064
Daela?
Shiara?
Susan?

>> No.27856095

>>27855921
As for unsuccessful integration, it doesn't help, but it doesn't always hurt either. Usually in those cases it's simple enough to ignore the plot and focus on the porn unless things get really stupid (and mercifully, none of the stuff this thread has produced has hit that level).

>>27855986
You know, I never thought of that. Might be helpful for the impatient types out there.

It's all about striking the right balance, which is different for every person here.

>>27856007
Be glad I'm a psychologist in training then: it'll be my job to know shit like that. Sadly, all Google gave me was information on tape measure fetishes, which I didn't even know existed until now. Rule 36 strikes again, it would seem.

>>27856064
Elenwe
Lilea

Those work?

>> No.27856097

>>27856064
Bill.

>> No.27856109

>>27856064
Bob.

>> No.27856127

>>27856086
>>27856097
>>27856109
You're a terrible troll. I'm not even mad, I'm just disappointed that you couldn't even make a half attempt.

>> No.27856151

>>27856127
And everyone knows Dave Eldar is in fact a Space Marine from the Mentors in disguise.

>> No.27856160

>>27856127
Uh, I was the first one, not the others

>> No.27856189

>>27856151
I know have the image in my head of "leave it to beaver" style sit-com starring all eldar

>Honey, Shassra spared a mon'keigh again
>I'll talk to her dear

>> No.27856216

>>27852971
>When you get banned, ALL posts you've made under that ip get deleted. At most, he was just 15 minute temp banned as a janitor put him up for more permanent banning.

This is untrue. There are some ban templates that delete all posts by an IP. There are few such templates. Now that you can see ban templates on /bans, my guess is that it is the "spambot" global 10 template, and few, if any, others.

>Either way, weve given him much more attention than he ever deserved for writing such shit tier smut and being such a prick in these threads.

Being a giant faggot is not against the rules. Neither is using a name when posting. Neither of these things will get you banned, unless the catch-all Global 6 or Global 3 rules are applied. As we can see from /bans, this is not very often, so don't get your hopes up for a Quality of Posts or Trolling ban.

>> No.27856250

>>27856127
I think folks were just joking with you, pal. I was only one of them.

>> No.27856256

>>27856151
See
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dave_Eldar

>> No.27856277

>>27856064
Glad to see you're still at it. It seems like using an existing setting is a double edged sword.
On one hand, it gives you a lot of interesting stuff to work with (look at 40k or D&D and all the races they include!), on the other, there may be too much info. It must be a pain in the ass trying to keep everything in line with canon as possible.

Good luck!

If you're still looking for a name, go to a LotR wiki and hit "random page" until you get to an elf. Or look up any elf's genealogy.
Seriously, everyone already has about 5 names.

>> No.27856281

>>27856250
Fair enough. I'm still getting stuff worked out and researching the Eldar. First time writefagging, want to get it right without smudging too many details...

>> No.27856293

>>27856216
>Being a giant faggot is not against the rules. Neither is using a name when posting. Neither of these things will get you banned
I never said we will get him banned, just that everyone should really just ignore the bastard. He doesnt deserve the attention and maybe he will finally fucking go away if no one responds to his shitposting.

Have a Torchberry.

>> No.27856339

>>27856281
Lexicanum and the 40K wikia are your friends. If one doesn't give you the info you need, use the other- they don't overlap very much. If you still have trouble, we'll always be able to fill stuff in.

And now we're at autosage, marking another successful set of smut threads. Let's keep it up- the next weekend is my birthday and I'm hoping you can provide some excellent "presents", so to speak. Til then, this is Archivist Anon, moving into lurker mode.

>> No.27856391

>>27856293
I support this course of action. Responding just perpetuates the neverending cycle of shit. If the post violates a rule, report it. If it doesn't but you don't like it, just hide it and don't respond to it.

I don't have any smut to post, but have a spinny glowy thing. Maybe it's for hypnotism or something, I don't know.

>> No.27856432

>>27856339
>moving into lurker mode
Not so fast!
If it's your birthday next weekend, you're not leaving until you make a request or two.

What strikes your fancy?

[I'm most familiar with Fantasy and 40k, but I can always do research on other settings]

>> No.27856455

>>27856432
Dark Eldar stuff would be nice. Can you do a threesome with Succubus twincest?

>> No.27856456

>>27856339
>>27856432
I'm not archivist anon, but I am the Harlequin writer.

I'd like a name.

>> No.27856485

>>27856293
Agreed, I think I might be an emotional masochist, I become enamored with people who treat me like I'm worse then crap...

>> No.27856515

>>27856456
Honestly, anything from an elf name generator can work just fine.

>> No.27856535

>>27856455
And the male?
How rapey do you want it to get?

>>27856456
Bruinen
Mitheithel
Glanduin
Sirannon
Shira
Valinor
Olwë
Gwaihir

>> No.27856542

>>27856515
No I...fuck, I walked into that.

I mean a name to post under so you know it's me. Unless I don't need one. I think I'm gonna go with Shiara for the eldar, like was suggested earlier.

>> No.27856588

>>27856542
What was your fic about again?

>> No.27856612

>>27856535
I'd prefer the guy to be a human- Guardsman would probably be best, but a PDF might work just as well As for rapeyness, I'd like it somewhat on the light side- can't go into full vanilla mode with Dark Eldar, mind you, but no flat-out torture or extreme S and M either. Maybe it would be better to describe it as rough sex or something, I dunno how to express it exactly.

>> No.27856616

>>27856542
Nobody really needs one, but if you want one then go for it.
I suggest BRRT or Burt if you were the one who wrote the Haarlequin story.

>> No.27856619

>>27856542
Oh...

Mr. Smuts
Son of Smut
The Erotic Penman
Eroclown (because of the Harlequin thing)

>> No.27856704

>>27856612
How about this:
It's their birthday, and good 'ol uncle homunculus has 'modified' a mon'keigh for their pleasure.
Nothing extreme: he just has a perma-boner.

y/n?

>> No.27856714

>>27856619
I'd avoid doubling up on "Smut" names for right now...

...Perhaps Erodactle!

>> No.27856754

>>27856619
Yes, this shall do nicely.

>>27856535
And you have given me the supporting cast.

I shall begin writing posthaste.

>> No.27856769

>>27856704
I'd prefer him to be an ordinary mon'keigh, but a small dose of combat drugs to act as an aphrodisiac would be fine (assuming it was reversible, of course).

>> No.27856796

>>27856769
Oh, and I'd prefer a good end for all involved- maybe they like him enough to keep him as a pet rather than simply eating his soul. And creampies are a must.

>> No.27856824

>>27856769
Alrighty.
Last questions: what body type do you want the Succubi to have? Lithe and skiny or busty? One of each, perhaps?

>> No.27856839

>>27856824
Busty, yet athletic. Does that work?

>> No.27856856

>>27856839
>>27856796
I can do that.

See you next weekend, everybody!

>> No.27856861

>>27856856
So long and good luck!

>> No.27857171

For future reference, I think we need to make a list of taboo acts/scenes/fetishes; things too extreme for regular audiences.
Actually, since this is 4chan, how about a rating system?

1 would be generic, vanilla stuff; and progressive numbers would get more and more extreme.
5 might be things so horrible even /b/ would balk, like holding hands.

This would also keep us from spoiling things for new readers. The reader won't know -exactly- what is going to happen, but he can get a general idea beforehand.

Thoughts?

>> No.27857194

>>27857171
Naw I like the current "just label fetish"
It's just easier and less arbitrary like that. Let people pick what they want, we all got different kinks and taboo or whatnot.

>> No.27857209

>>27857171
Seems a little too arbitrary and based on personal opinion. I think just appropriate tagging by either the author or the archiver will suffice.

>> No.27857220

>>27857171
I think the normal system of tags that we have in the master link works just fine. They don't give any context on their own, and they can serve as what tumblr and other bleeding-heart types would call "trigger warnings".

>> No.27857248

>>27857194
I only bring it up because a writer in a thread earlier (last week?) got pissed that the "twist" got spoiled.
The twist was ballstomping

You're right, though. It would make it too difficult to find the fetish you're looking for.

>> No.27859041

>'Mom, I don't feel so good...'
>'What? Oh Lofn, this is terrible timing, I have the rite to go to. I guess I will have to cancel-'
>'Dad'll be here, right?'
>'Oh? Well. I was hoping Liivi could come but I suppose...'

And then there was a quarter eldar

>> No.27860863

We're the second to last thread on /tg/ right now.

It's been great, see ya'll next weekend!

>>
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