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[ERROR] No.27458279 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]



What if


Orks in Touhou

>> No.27458457


>> No.27458469

Fuck you, OP. I saw the picture and immediately thought "Machine-gun Strap-on". I'm going to have that in my head for weeks now, faggot.

>> No.27458486

OP may be shit, but blame your freudian problems on someone else.

>> No.27458513

OP. NOh.

But that picture is going to be my next Shadowrun Character.

>> No.27458534

Then they could replace Marissa and loot everything?

>> No.27458648

>> No.27458765

where did this gif come from? I need to know because reasons.

>> No.27458807

Lets instead compare 40K in Touhou VS Touhou in 40K.

>> No.27458833

>Orks in Touhou
You mean fairies?


>> No.27458896

Captain! The flying Xenos keep dodging our bullets!


>> No.27458946

That's when you bring in the multilaser
Let's see them dodge something when they can't even see it until it hits them.

>> No.27458981


>> No.27459055

Multilasers? Really? THATS what you're trying to kill Touhous with?



>being this ig'nant

>> No.27459136

In case /tg/ doesn't understand what this anon is saying, if you get hit in Touhou,l if you use a bomb in the split-second that you get hit, you somehow don't get hit.

Also, have you SEEN some of those bullet patterns? You practically NEED to be able to see the future to survive some of those!

>> No.27459234

Touhou in 40K would be terrifying, actually. Remember that every major player in Touhou has their own hax special power- apply that to Abaddon, Creed etc. and I'd doubt there would even be a galaxy left standing.

Or it'd turn into Exalted In Space.

>> No.27459565

Most of those bullet patterns are very, very slow. Hell, a good number of them are "any given Guardsman could get behind cover easily between that bullet launching and that bullet moving the thirty meters or so it takes to hit him" slow.

Basis of my estimate: assuming toohoo characters are about a meter and a half tall, then eyeballing the distance from screen top to screen bottom. Also assuming the Guardsman is not being forced to charge across a wide open space at the time.

>> No.27459690

Here's what danmaku looks like if you put it in a 3D space:

>> No.27459698

Yes, but considering that touhous can fly AND fit into spaces the size of their heads (judging by their hitboxes), cover would be a very short term solution.

>> No.27459791

Half look dodgeable, and the other half look IMPOSSIBRU.

Either way, no aircraft will live.

>> No.27459810

There is already a character with this power, and they aren't even considered one of the tougher characters.

>> No.27459840


There's a ton of MULTILASERS characters. One of them can occasionally beat the protagonist whose power is she can decide not to lose period. Others are jobbers.

>> No.27460769

> Orkz powered by belief
> Touhou powered by belief

I /almost/ feel sorry for Reimu.
Well, maybe she'll be able to convince them that Danmaku is brutal cunnin' or something.

>> No.27460875

Well you would have to be brutally cunning to be able to dodge the bullet spam.

>> No.27461750

>trying to stop a 2hu
>with lasers
>of any sort

>> No.27462515

"I'm the strongest!"

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter squinted at the girl responsible for the outburst, his immediate urge to crush, maim, kill, smash, and otherwise krump held back by the sheer audacity of his challenger.

The child, blue of hair and eyes and dress, glared ferociously at him, her wings of ice gently beating as they kept her aloft. The two were totally surrounded by a swarm of Boyz, only holding back out of curiosity at how this encounter was about to play out.

"You'z got it all wrong, ya little git." Gorgutz said, his Klaw reflexively clenching. "I'm da big boss, so I'M the strongest."

The girl thoughtfully rubbed her chin as she sized him up. "Eh, I dunno, you just look kinda ugly."

Any semblance of restraint on the Warboss's end was swiftly and horribly destroyed as he blasted the girl into bits with his Shoota; the crowd was getting ready to leave when she popped back into existence hardly worse for wear.

"Don't do that!" She said, thrusting a finger in Gorgutz's face. The Warboss chomped down on her head, getting nothing but a gobful of dust before she reappeared.

"Iz like a 'umie-shaped ork!" A boy said, awestruck.

The fairy rolled up her sleeves, grit her teeth, and flew nose-to-tusk with the massive Warboss. "Right! Prepare to feel the mighty wrath of Cirno, the strongest!"

The Warboss kept up a steely facade of indifference up as Cirno repeatedly slugged him on the nose, the twitching of his remaining eyelid the only thing hinting at his broiling rage.

"So iz you gonna stop any time soon or what?" He eventually asked, once the girl paused for breath.

"Okay, you're pretty tough." Cirno said, a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead. Despite it all, she smirked. "But I'm still the strongest. Don't care how many times you smash me, I'm gonna make you realize that!"

At that moment Gorgutz realized a terrible truth; he'd never be free of this little git.

The resulting roar of fury could be heard from low orbit.

>> No.27462570

>Gorgutz being annoyed by Cirno.
My sides. I needed them.

>> No.27462634

What would happen if you used one of the smaller Touhous as ammunition in a Shokk attack gun?
What would happen to someone who suddenly had a small magical demon fairy girl thing teleported directly into their chest cavity?

>> No.27462641 [DELETED] 

We have a standing policy regarding touhou.

>> No.27462658

What, welcome it wholeheartedly?
/tg/ does stand for /touhou games/, after all.

>> No.27462673

>You mean fairies?
Yeah, I basically came into this thread to post that.

Here's a slightly more... orky, for lack of a better word... 3D danmaku. The animation quality is a little more primitive due to being done in MMD(?) rather than Blender, but overall the bullet patterns and battle choreography are at least as sophisticated.

>> No.27462682

There are actually people who LIKE Reimu.

This horrifying thought disgusts me.

>> No.27462733


>> No.27462772


Well there's always the armpit fetish demographic.

>> No.27462788

You bet we do. It's the same as our standing policy regarding everything else.

>> No.27462792

Eh, Reimu's okay. Now why people like Kaguya, now THERE'S a mystery for the ages.

>> No.27462795

Well, Marisa vs. Flandre has the two "playing around" as it were.
Reimu vs. Utsuho saw the duo legitimately trying to beat the shit out of each other.


>> No.27462822

Orks run on belief and orkiness.

Gensokyo runs on belief and frilly hats.

I think they'd take to it pretty damn well. It'd beat the Imerpium, who'd just declare exterminatus and be surprised when the planet was reduced to dust... and the floating hakurei shrine, protected by the barrier, marking the gateway into Gensokyo.
which would then disappear into the webway and piss off the eldar, exactly as eldrad had planned.

>> No.27462845

>declare exterminatus
Problem is that Gensokyo is a realm hidden away on Terra.

>> No.27462893

What the fuck is up with all the goddamn fanart.

>> No.27462900

Maybe. I mean, yes, Gensokyo is connected to Earth, but around the time all human civilisation as we know it on earth ended, I'd say Gensokyo would relocate to somewhere that the shrine could conceivably exist.

Also, gap hag would take care of it

>> No.27462926

Take it easy, bro.

>> No.27462943

And when was touhou ever banned?

>> No.27462946

Gensokyo is what Emp's webway led to.

>> No.27462955

Rule 9 of the Internet: If it exists, then it has a Touhou crossover. I've seen Touhou/Predator fanart, Touhou/every anime you've ever watched fanart, Touhou/CSI, the list goes on.

>> No.27462957

Touhou is one of the single biggest (or at least most prolific) fandoms on the Internet. Touhou makes My Little Pony and Homestuck look like baby shit when it comes to fanworks. Japanese freedom when it comes to fanworks is a major contributor.

Have some Remilia and Dante.

>> No.27462972

Concerning 40K/Touhou, have some crossposted writefaggotry.


There are certain things expected of an Angry Marine. One is usually expected to be pissed off, simmering with rage, quaking with anger, burning up with hate, and other metaphors for bone-tearing umbrage that I can't come up with because I'm about ready to explode with the cock-smashing fury of fuck you I don't have a clever metaphor. In hundreds of years of service, I have never been this mad.

It mostly has to do with the fact that some Chaos-worshipping fucktard sorceror just threw open a portal into the Warp while I was flying his way, power-wrench in hand and ready to tear him seventy kinds of new assholes. I mean, I still managed to decapitate him by throwing the wrench in an arc that terminated on his faggotrocious face, but that didn't stop me from sailing straight into the tear and into his magical realm full of purple and staring eyeballs and tentacles and who-fucking-knows what else.

And then I land on the floor in some dark, pansy-ass paper house. I mean, whose fucking idea was that? Buncha retards built this place.

And then I float upwards until I'm upside down and staring at an angry blonde with purple eyes.

"Just who are you supposed to be?" She asks.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHAOS BULLSHIT." I say, flailing around in a furious attempt to get my hands on her.

"Anti-gravity field. Don't ask how." She says, eyes narrowed.


"I would rather not."


She tuts disapprovingly, and another portal with the eyeballs and everything opens up beneath me; I fall through only to end up coming out the upper portal, which leads to me falling through the lower one again, and it just keeps happening. I only get a second to swear at the witch with each pass.






>> No.27462978

No wonder he's never been seen in 10,000 years- he's too busy running his shop...

>> No.27463001

>Mr. T is Tewi
I call bullshit. If anyone is Tewi, it's Murdoch.

>> No.27463009

>Implying Mr. Tei isn't awesome.

Do you even Ei-Team?

>> No.27463091


I'm jolted to a halt after a solid minute of portal fuckery, and once I'm floating steadily again I flip the witch off with both hands.

"Are you ready to talk politely?" She asks, completely ignoring my vigorous and inventive gesturing.

"ARE YOU READY TO SHUT- WAIT WHO THE FUCK IS THAT." I point to the newcomer, a small girl in her pajamas, and she has kitty ears and two tails and by the Emperor she is adorable.

"Who's this huge guy, Lady Yukari?" The kid asks, wide-eyed and keeping a healthy distance.

"I'M AN ANGRY MARINE, KIDDO." I say, the overwhelming hate inside me winding down in the face of such cuteness oh my gosh. "AND YES, I AM THE HUGEST. IF I WEREN'T SPINNING AROUND LIKE THIS I'D LET YOU SIT ON MY HUGE LAP." I stare at Yukari. "HINT. HINT."

"Chen, I'm rather busy." She says, not shifting her gaze off me in the slightest. "Please go."

"NO, HOLD THE FUCK UP," I say, waving a hand around. "DON'T MAKE HER GO, I'LL BE GOOD. ISH. WHAT DO YOU WANT."

"How did you get here?"


"And you went through it because... why, exactly?"


She smirks. "That's all I wanted to know. Now get out of my sight."

"OH YOU WHOOOOOOOOOOORE!" I roar as gravity takes me down once again; both portals shut once I'm back in the Warp, leaving me tumbling helplessly. If there's anything that's more infuriating than falling through the Warp, it's falling through the Warp when a bunch of tentacles start trying to crawl up my ass.

"GO EAT A BAG OF DICKS, YOU SLAANESHI FUCKS!" I shout, ripping apart anything stupid enough to get close. I tear one tentacle clean out from the Warp, and the dying appendage leaves a hole in the fabric of reality or some bullshit like that.

And I can see things moving through the tear.



>> No.27463140

Suika could totally give Gork and Mork a run for their money.

>> No.27463201


I end up using another tentacle as a rope and swing myself through the gap, soaring out of the Warp and face-first into a giant Emprah-damned tree, motherfucking OW.

And oh joy, I've got a shitload of branches waiting to break my fall!

I land atop a stage, the force of my impact sending a pair of punk-rock girls to the ground. Everyone's quiet as I stand back up; the crowd, the performers, the stagehands, even the forest itself. I peer closely at the two on stage with me; one with green hair and floppy brown dog ears, the other with pink hair, bird wings, and feathery ears. Both stare up at me, eyes shrunk into tiny pinpricks from shock, but all that falls secondary to just how fluffy they both look. It's a damn good thing the two seem otherwise human; I'd have had to purge them if they went full furry, after all.

Then my surroundings sink in.





I thrust a finger at a stage-hand. "GET ME A GUITAR. WE'RE GONNA ROCK THE FUCK OUT."

"W-we are?" The dog-eared girl asks, back on her feet.


One of the stage crew obliges my request by lobbing an electric guitar my way; I snatch it mid-flight and get into position behind them. "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, BITCHES." I say, and I start shredding power-metal with all the fury of a Battle Barge smashing into a bunch of Chaos fucks from orbit. The duo join in a moment later, the language of metal universal to all, and we rock hard enough that the audience is flung back by soundwaves powerful enough to make a Noise Marine cry bitch-tears of shame. When we finish, everyone present save us has literally been floored by how awesome we just were, and some gigantic pussies among them are leaking brains out their ears.

>> No.27463213

She doesn't even have eleventy seven guns on her

>> No.27463231

>MFW I just realized that panel is taken almost word for word from Dr. Strangelove

>> No.27463253


"THAT IS HOW YOU ROCK." I say, crushing my guitar into so many little shards as I whirl on my fellow rockers. "RIGHT. YOU TWO ARE PRETTY GOOD FOR FUCKIN' MUTIES."

"Uh, thanks?" The birdie says.

"Please don't kill us." The other says, edging away.

Goddamn it but they're both so fluffy-looking, SHIT.


RES- oh who the fuck am I kidding.

I scoop both girls up before they get it into their heads to start running. "IF I WAS GONNA KILL YOU, YOU'D ALREADY HAVE BEEN POUNDED INTO SLUSH. YOU TWO ARE COMIN' WITH ME."

I stomp off into the woods, my cargo trying and failing to pry themselves free from my grip. Now I just have to figure out where this Yukari lives, punch her face into soup, and get my hands on Chen, and then I'll-


Okay I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do, but at least I'm gonna have shitloads of fluffiness with me while I do it.

>> No.27463255

That's because she's all about getting stuck in.

>> No.27463266

Suika is an avatar of Gork.

>> No.27463321

Oni in general are kinda crazy

>> No.27463340

I feel like she wouldn't be able to resist that punch very well with an axe-kick directed downwards

>> No.27463341

As seen here.

>> No.27463356

That was goddamn hilarious. I approve.

>> No.27463368

Exactly. She's just badass enough that the force of her kick is defense enough.

>> No.27463373

You'd be wrong. An arc sweeps whatever limb is in front of it down while the heel impacts.

>> No.27463405

Her delicious foot did not make contact, though.

>> No.27463432

>Good Ol' Killboy.

>> No.27463435

It's more that the shockwave can soften the impact, if any, of the opposing fist.

>> No.27463470


>> No.27463479

You know what would be awesome?

An Ork footslogging army that's Suika.

Just Suika.

Grots are little Suikas. Boyz are bigger, but still little Suika. Dreads are bigger Suikas.

Use a Kustom Mega Dread as your HQ for a big Suika.

>> No.27463666

See, now I'm imagining Reimu and Yukari playing 40k with live armies: red-team Suika vs. blue-team Suika.

>> No.27463735


Touhou Fortress

>> No.27463751

And They Shall Know No Fear*

*except the loli. Fear the loli.

>> No.27463809

You forget: Suika can multiply.

She's just as orky, just need to change your thought process on things.

On a related note... What's ork policy on flamethrowers?

>> No.27463922

Given they've got an entire unit dedicated to using them, and they actually have a phrase for setting someone on fire(the burny dance), I'd say they're for them.

>> No.27463962


somewhere inbetween Brutal Flamin' and Flamin' Cunnin'

>> No.27464007 [DELETED] 

Erm, always? Toushit belongs to /jp/, everyone here knows that. Also, this is a triple troll thread, containing toufeces, 40turd, AND blatant shoehorning.

>> No.27464026

>2hu sleeves on the most popular card game on the planet.

What now?

>> No.27464057 [DELETED] 

Nope, still unrelated. It always will be, you can as well stop shitting up /tg/ now and take it back to /jp/. If you were interested in discussing traditional games based on 2hu, it would be different, but your only interest is to shit as much touhou on the board as humanly possible. You and your filthy ilk are worse than furries in that regard.

>> No.27464094

>not liking Her Divine Majesty
i bet you're a filthy mokoufag.

>> No.27464102

dude, chill.
Show me on hitbox where Touhou touched you.

>> No.27464132


>Fantasy game based on folklore mythology in a fantasy land
>Not related

>> No.27464212

>danmaku shooter

>> No.27464231


>Game with huge fluff based on real world myth
>ever not related

I'm not even a fan and I know this shit.

>> No.27464250

2009ish, I think

>> No.27464297 [DELETED] 

>video games with /jp/ content
>ever related to /tg/
I've been doing this since /tg/ exists. You have no chance.

>> No.27464310

Guys, how is this game? Has anyone tried it?

>> No.27464350 [DELETED] 


>implying /jp/ is anything but three people wanking and one person sperging

This is /tg/. We don't need the other boards.

And really, pulling the 'I've always been here' crap? I remember 2hus popping up in Warhammer Wednesday threads, and most of the time they were allies against Furry Friday.

>> No.27464894 [DELETED] 

Your brand of braindeath is exactly the problem that led to incessant porn spam and the janicalypse. Do you actually want that to happen again?

>> No.27465051

So, 40k themed schmup when? Developed by Cave. Only on a console with region locking. Japan onry.

>> No.27465103

>Region locking
>Japan only

>> No.27465185

Because Cave hates the west.

>> No.27465439

Completely incomprehensible bullshit. There have been at least two attempts at Touhou PnP made Stateside, and both have notable problems, but at least they make goddamn sense when you read 'em.

>> No.27466155

You've been shitting up /tg/-related threads since /tg/ was created? Because this thread IS, and you're just trying to derail it with your trolling. 2/10, since I replied.

That seems to be the consensus, yeah. MYON (one of the stateside ones) at least looks interesting, but I'd want to run it through some playtesting before recommending it.

I'm not entirely convinced standard task/combat-resolution is a good fit for Touhou PnP, anyway. If you try to mimic the one-hit-KO aspect, it's likely to also mimic Exalted levels of "I roll dice. Then you roll dice. I didn't hit you. Your turn." (There are bombs and lives, so it's not going to be AS bad as Exalted, but still.)

>> No.27466311

I've said it in other threads and I'll say it again.

I've got a drama-focused narrative touhou hack of cortex plus on the backburner. I've got all sorts of stuff to sort out in the next couple of weeks, so it won't be coming immediately, but it's something I want to take from "ideas that I could run, but with nothing written down" to "a PDF I can present to /tg/ as a gift".

I'm doing this because all the touhou systems our there are one or more of these things:
>incomprehensible, poorly translated japanese systems
>overly complex and trying to simulate bullets going everywhere in a way that requires huge amounts of upkeep
>Just plain badly written, poorly designed systems

Spell card duels are a great way of resolving conflict in gensokyo, but the reasons for those duels are important. A touhou tabletop game shouldn't spend 90% of the time resolving the minutiae of combat. Sure, the games themselves are fun for the laser dodging bullet spam, but the fandom isn't about that, it's about the characters, their arguments and disagreements, their strange friendships and weird personalities, and the huge amounts of running in fear from the begoggled denizens of >>>/u/ they get up to in fanon. Decent mechanics for handling laser spam combat are important, but so are decent mechanics for handling arguments, crushes, hitting someone over the head with a cucumber and guilt-tripping your buddy into lending you that precious thing you want to steal.

Hopefully, I'll be able to throw "東方帽子暴食 ~ Eastern Surfeit of Hats" at you guys as a christmas present if I don't get it done before then.
I do not understand moonspeak. That title came from playing with google translate.

>> No.27466460

The Touhou bullethells might be dodgeable by a single, fast elite unit... but it is going to ruin the hell out of any army.

Its also worth remembering that the duels that the Touhou do are actually just a tiny fraction of their real power, because when most of them ACTUALLY fight to win they usually end up destroying the world they are in at the time. So there is a gentlemans agreement to play the games instead of fight for realz.

Question for you, /tg/: how many Touhous does it take to destroy 100% of the warp?

>> No.27466492

>So there is a gentlemans agreement to play the games instead of fight for realz.
Not just a gentleman's agreement. As mandated by Reimu and Yukari for the sake of Gensokyo, it's the law.

>> No.27466531

>Also assuming the Guardsman is not being forced to charge across a wide open space at the time.
>guardsmen not being forced at gunpoint to perform suicidal ww1 style charges

>> No.27466539

You know, this brings up a good question. Reimu apparently can 'fly above reality.' If she were to do that wouldn't she be flying straight into the warp? You know, it being the 'immaterium' and all.

>> No.27466566


Nah. She COULD go there, but she doesn't have to. Lots of other places to fly above instead. She will just fly over the warp too.

>> No.27466570


>> No.27466579

Let's be realistic. At least he's taking the only think out of 40k and trying it in other places so he caan finally bury the dead horse that his Orks drag around with them.

>> No.27466604

>Question for you, /tg/: how many Touhous does it take to destroy 100% of the warp?
One, at sufficient velocity.

>> No.27466611

You are the Two hue scum. You have the Two Hue smell. Go back to /v/. remove two hue from premises.

>> No.27466613


I'm pretty sure Yukari alone could do it. She has total control over boundaries, including conceptual ones.

See could seal every warp rift into the material universe, including the eye of terror, pretty easily.

Then she increases the boundary between the warp and the real world by such an amount that souls from the materium never make it to the warp, causing the warp to burn itself out like a fire that has no oxygen. The chaos gods and everything else in there die a slow death by starvation.

>> No.27466696

B-but dear komrade, /jp/ is from where they crawl!

>> No.27466737

But yes they do crawl out of /jp/.

>> No.27467617

>decent mechanics for handling arguments
Danmaku powered by love.
>hitting someone over the head with a cucumber,
Cucumber-shaped danmaku.
>and wheedling your buddy into lending you that thing you'll return when you're dead.
Once again, danmaku. Yeesh, it's like you don't know anything about Touhou.

But seriously, I love narrative-style games and am looking forward to it.

>東方帽子暴食 ~ Eastern Surfeit of Hats
WWWJDIC lists 暴食 as "overeating; gluttony". I'd suggest 東方超過帽子 (yes, in that order) without changing the English text. Also, typically it's 〜 rather than ~.

>> No.27467727

My hobofu's better than your pampered princess.

>> No.27467758

My gate guard's better.

>> No.27467805

THIS, though -- this you can legitimately take to /jp/. There's whole threads already there for it.

It'd be fine if this was bumping the thread from page 8 or something, but come on, guys. This is a little ridiculous.

>> No.27467837

Eh, it's breaking up the downtime, so I won't overtly rail against it. There's discussion of systems, anyway.

>> No.27467928

I looked at /jp/ once.

It was horrible.

That place unnerves me.

>> No.27468008

It was the shitposting capital of 4chan for a long time.

Getting back on topic, I could see Reimu as a greedy Inquisitor, bossing a SoB Mokou around.

>> No.27468083

Huge ork in a frilly dress with a stupid hat. Non spellcards are all booletz. Spellcards are 'eavy weapons.

10/10, would graze.

>> No.27468093


comepletely forgot about this song.

>> No.27468126

Yukari = Creed.

They would have fun together. Outflanking baneblades and titans with gaps.

>> No.27468167




>> No.27468438

>Chubby sororitas reimu

I'd forgotten that we used to be armpit-deep in slightly chubby sisters. There was thar artist who drew them, and also that one guy who always requested it in drawthreads.

>> No.27469200

The funny thing is, the Rifleman has a reasonable chance at taking down some touhous, with its D2j and all.

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