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[ERROR] No.27453038 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

How did this clown cause as much trouble as he did? Almost every major effort he undertook ended with him tripping over his own feet or getting his ass slapped back down into the gutter every time, even by a woman.

>> No.27453079


Well he *did* manage to wipe out the greatest Human civilization ever to exist and cause irreversible changes to the planet.

From a cell.

>> No.27453099

that isn't what happened, Sauron was basically running the place and was doing huge sacrifices in the temple, also even when he won the Valar blew his ass up as he was standing around laughing like a cartoon villain

>> No.27453124

Rolled 2

>How did this clown cause as much trouble as he did?
Huge power and immortality.

>> No.27453132

Let's be fair here. Sauron losing to Tolkiens super beings doesn't really drop him down a peg. The fact that he even managed to be a threat is a feat in and of itself.

>> No.27453133

>also even when he won the Valar blew his ass up as he was standing around laughing like a cartoon villain

He knew he'd just come back.

Unlike Numenor.

>> No.27453143

Melkor is to Horus as Sauron is to Abaddon

>> No.27453156


Not to mention he was significantly more crafty in the books than he was in the movies.

Motherfucker lost the battle of Pelennor Fields but had another army just laying around Mordor because he knew there'd be some sort of counter-attack.

>> No.27453177

>Worked hard to trick the elves
>Did not trick the elves
>They took off his shitty rings
>"G-give back those r-rings."

>> No.27453480

>tfw Sauron just wanted to be a good servant to his master Morgoth and make him proud

>> No.27453890

I'm not sure what you mean by that. Did you mean to say that Melkor is to Sauron as Horus is to Abaddon?

>> No.27453982

Mairon was very gay for Melkor. I'd like to know Sauron's thoughts and feelings regarding his master's defeat.

>> No.27454009

People generally misunderstand the circumstances of the last alliance of men and elves. When you learn what Sauron was up against, he turns out to be less of a chump.

First of all, people give sauron a lot of shit for investing so much of his power into that one ring. The trouble is that Sauron was dealing with 20 rings by the other end. He was playing a major gambit by tricking his enemies to invest much of their power into magic rings. The only way that this trick could pay off though, was if sauron were to create a ring so powerful that it could dominate anything Celebrimor could forge. The only way that could work was by investing much of his earthly power into The One Ring. That plan actually worked. None of the elves dared to touch any of their rings throughout their war against sauron, a serious handicap.

Now the trouble, which people somewhat forget, is that Numenor got involved with middle earth. Numenor was a fucking superpower trumping anything on middle earth. Sauron was hopeless against the first combined war effort of Gil-galad and Numenor.

So sauron lost the first time, through the intervention of a civilization that had no business being in middle earth. That would have been like the roman empire failing their conquest of gaul because CHINA invaded in full force. So what did sauron do? He went to numenor as a hostage, and destroyed THEIR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION. When sauron corrupted numenor, the valar tore their own continent off of middle earth to keep the Numenorians from invading them. That's how fucking terrifying numenor was. The gods were scared of them.

Now, as for the last alliance of men and elves. Sauron didn't have a lot of time to prepare for that. Elendil and the other numenorean refugees had JUST landed on middle earth, and sauron needed to defeat them in battle BEFORE they gained a foothold in middle earth. So, sauron had to muster an army, practically overnight, to defeat The men and elves when Elendil was weakest. Sauron lost.

>> No.27454179

>Giving technology and freedom to oppressed people, following the steps of liberator Melkor
>Valar and their secterian dogs prevent these attempts always, while chanting about some Illuvatar, a ghost, an imaginery God

Silmarillion and Lotr were about victory of religious bigotry over freedom and science. They are of course very biased against Sauron, since the writer was a huge elfboo.

>> No.27454218

I'm guessing you're familiar with The Last Ringbearer.

>> No.27454221

Gil-Galad wasn't even around when AR Pharazon had captured Sauron.

>> No.27454236

What does that even mean?

>> No.27454294

IIRC, it was written by some Russian. But these had been always my thoughts since I had read all the mythology of Tolkien, he seems so biased, almost to the point of lying. Winners write history, they say and I think it's applicable to his world.

>> No.27454308

We had a huge thread about Sauron on Wednesday. Suffice to say, he's not the chump you make him out to be.

>> No.27454379


>> No.27454501


>most powerful of the valar, kicks tons of their asses all at once
>tulkas comes along and only manages to tip the balance of the ongoing fight in the valar's favour
>melkor gets butthurt and instead of just waiting until tulkas is alone and kicking his ass one on one, which he could do with ease if the rest of the valar weren't also attacking him, starts infusing his essence into arda to ruin everything for everyone else and also weakens himself horribly in the process
Come on, Melkor. You coulda just picked the Valar off one by one, none of them by themselves could stand against you.

>> No.27454562


Uh, Gil-galad had been high king of the Noldor since the fall of gondolin in the first age. He was around.

>> No.27454631

Wtf anon.

>> No.27454656

There's more.

>> No.27454686


But we got a taste of a world under Sauron's grasp with Frodo's travels through Mordor.

>> No.27454693

Way I remember it, Tulkas was stronger one on one. Melkor was afraid of him.

>> No.27454709

He wasn't half the idiot Morgoth was, was better at planning ahead, and had considerable power.

>> No.27454735


Melkor was a sore loser.

>Everyone's going to be mean to me?
>Well I'm just going to spread all of this CONCENTRATED EVIL into your world so everything's shit!

>> No.27454748

Nope. Tulkas was only stronger one on one after Melkor infused the vast majority of his power into Arda, weakening himself drastically. The first time they clashed, when Melkor was at his full strength, Tulkas basically just tilted the balance of the fight Melkor was having with all the other Valar to the Valar's favour. Alone, he was nothing compared to early Melkor.

>> No.27454751

Melkor went full retard and pumped so much of himself into Middle Earth that he eventually became weak enough to lose to Elven heroes.

This from a guy who was second to God originally.

>> No.27454752

Dayum, I'm really sorry. I mixed it with Elendil, but then again I'm still wrong, because it turns out that they were almost of same age.

>> No.27454777

The whole thing was him trolling the Valar, he just didn't expect them to go ask for admin privileges from Illuvatar and nuke the place.

>> No.27454785

Trap Sauron is kinda cute.

>> No.27454810

Because all fiction is contrived and full of plot holes because it's there to try and get along one thing the author had. Even the stories you tell of real life events can seem implausible with a person nitpicking the situation or coming to the conclusion everyone involved was utterly retarded due to lack of facts or hindsight.

The real difference between good fiction and bad fictions is how well it's presented to make you forget it makes no sense.

>> No.27454833

this is the thing that bugged me the most
>be supernatural demigod
>put 90% of your power into rings that are supposed to influence the holders
>some work, some backfire badly
>spend the next 3000 years trying to get back your rings to get back to full power

>> No.27454846

>reading the comic
>realizing I think sauron is really cute

Oh god, what.

>> No.27454876

youre the same guy who kept insisting sauron did nothing in that 'sauron vs westeros' thread a few days ago
arent you

>> No.27454909

remind me why LotR wasn't about this instead of a couple hobbits faggoting their way to mount mordurp?

>> No.27454923

Sauron is a big elfboo himself.

>> No.27454930

To be fair he did basically charm the pants off of almost everyone in Numenor. And also the Elves. And the Dwarves.

>> No.27454953

no he wasn't, but coincidentally i am in the thread right now.

for a matter of fact.

>> No.27454965

d-do you have any more, a-anon?

>> No.27455000


No worries anon. Tolkien's legendarium is long and confusing. I frequently figure out huge tracts of it that I've had mixed up for years.

>> No.27455006

Why wouldn't you put some guards at your smeltery-armory which is also a historic and iconic place for you, the place where you had forged your precious ring?

>> No.27455012

Didn't we just cover this yesterday? I'm tired of jumping through syllogistic hoops for somebody's else's satisfaction.

>> No.27455042

who wants to sit in a volcano for thousands of years?

>> No.27455046

Don't you just want to stroke his hair and give him a kiss?

>> No.27455060

anyone got the pic of sauron forging the one ring?

white hair, pretty buff, my favorite pic of him tbh

>> No.27455069

A few more. I don't have much saved on this computer.

>> No.27455070

Downer ending. That, and it's a bit mary-sue one-sided on paper.

>> No.27455118


>> No.27455135

A company of orcs that lust for some fresh meat. If that doesn't works, whip probably would, as always has been.

>> No.27455139

No. But I do find it creepy and unnatural.

>> No.27455173

He was incredibly fair, in the old days before his fall...

>> No.27455176

Yeah, you got a taste of it, from the point of winners, sheeple.

>> No.27455192


>> No.27455210

>You would never be trained in martial arts by Tulkas.

>> No.27455216


>> No.27455224


>> No.27455238

Okay yea. Sauron needs to be held.You >>27455046 are right.

>> No.27455251


>> No.27455267


Tolkien was certainly nostalgic for a sort of pastoralism, and he had some misgivings about modern life, but I think people go too far to paint him as a fanatic. He lived in the suburbs. He had something sympathetic to say about sauron in one of his letters.

"...not indeed wholly evil, not unless all 'reformers' who want to hurry up with 'reconstruction' and 'reorganization' are wholly evil, even before pride and the lust to exert their will eat them up"

>> No.27455269


Quite simply Sauron literally could not comprehend the thought of someone trying to destroy the one ring. But to him like sending guards to guard Siberia from shark attacks.

>> No.27455270

I don't want to be trained in anything by a literal douche, a DUDEBRO. Aule, Ulmo, Melkor, these guys are my real bros.

>> No.27455288

I seem to have more of these saved than I first thought.

>> No.27455317

but in all honesty, siberia does have an ocean border, so its not that crazy

>> No.27455362


>> No.27455376


I mean shark attacks on land. As in deep in land.

>> No.27455380

why did melkor keep destroying everything for everyone?

>> No.27455392

Ilike the idea of Sauron creating the dworf rings to make them greedy on purpose, this way they'll dig deep enough to dig up the long lost Melkor's balrogs.

Now, we must figure out for what were intended the human and elf rings.

>> No.27455415

>remind me why LotR wasn't about this instead of a couple hobbits faggoting their way to mount mordurp?
Well, after all the money the movies of LotR and the Hobbit have been making, you can probably expect some movies of this sooner or later.

>> No.27455422

prepare yourself

>> No.27455428

human rings did their job.

human lust for power drove them into his arms, aka harad and rhun. numenor prior to that.

elvish rings most likely were supposed to make all the elves fall in love with sauron or whatever

>> No.27455430

The artist broke some of these up for whatever reason.

>> No.27455433

Well, you never know...You've seen sharknado, I hope? The odds, while not great, are still greater than zero

>> No.27455442

Is it bad that I want Sauron to be my waifu?

>> No.27455444

Sharks do not raid inland provinces but some Merkans might try it. He should have put some of his guys to protect this iconic landmark. He is a clown, Op was right.

>> No.27455457

Holy shit, he's adorable.

>> No.27455458

You must be new here

>> No.27455466


>> No.27455482

Holy fuck, Manwe, is that manwe?, is racist as fuck

>> No.27455516


>> No.27455523

I am loving these. don't stop. and sauce please?

>> No.27455542


That's a very good point. People give Boromir a lot of shit for trying to use the weapon of the enemy, but more than half of the elvish kings in history would have been hubristic enough to have tried the exact same thing. Feanor and most of his descendants would have totally gone "Cool! magic ring, mine!"

Elrond, Galadriel and Celeborn were only onboard with Gandalf's plan because they were some of the most neurotically paranoid elves who ever lived....

that might explain why they were some of the last elven lords in middle earth. Three Ages was more than enough time for the great bloodines of the elves to fuck up generation after generation until only the insanely careful ones were left.

>> No.27455548


>> No.27455591

>People give Boromir a lot of shit for trying to use the weapon of the enemy
Generally people who watched the theatre version of the movies, y'know, with all Boromir's backstory cut. If you watch the full version it's actually very easy to understand and sympathize with him.

>> No.27455602


>> No.27455617

Read the simarillion

>> No.27455619

guess thats sauron dining with the numenorans

>> No.27455638

I think that's about all of this guy's stuff I have saved. I should really get to organizing my misc folder.

Artist goes by Phobs. He's a Russian animation student, I think. He loves LotR, Mongolians, effeminate men, and beautiful things in general. I think he has a webcomic called Temujin.


I found this, in which Melkor poses as the lord of being fucking fabulous, from some other artist. Just because you mentioned Aule.

>> No.27455664

I really dislike how Jackson represented Bromir, he wanted to reinstate Aragorn back to his kingdom, he always worried about the safety of the hobbits.

Also he was found with a pile of neverbeforeseensunresistingorcs dead around him

And dont get me started on how badly the noble Faramir was shown in the movies

>> No.27455675

Better question
>Be awesome as fuck
>Beat the king of Balrogs
>Be so awesome that they had to revive you because you were too awesome for heavens
>Stay grounded doing nothing


>> No.27455681

I really should.

>> No.27455682

Wow, this is pretty good.

>> No.27455691


I'm assuming this must be when sauron took his fairest form and surrendered to the Numenorians. The numenorians held such a high opinion of themselves that they couldn't imagine sauron could do any damage just by sitting around and talking with them.

By the time he'd finished, numenor was worshiping melkor and human sacrificing all-day-erreyday.

shit was cash

>> No.27455698

>he wanted to reinstate Aragorn back to his kingdom
Did he not in the books? Been a long time since I last read them (over a decade, actually).

>> No.27455725

Why the fuck did Mairon call him father? I liked it

>> No.27455726

Sean Bean was perfectly cast, though. I think he did well conveying Boromir's conflicted character.

>> No.27455736

Sauron was a bard level 50?

>> No.27455749

I think he was saying this fact is missed by most theatre watchers, they just see him as the guy that tried to steal the ring that one time.

>> No.27455770

Do people really have this much trouble with analogies? It's not that hard.

>> No.27455773

I read your post before looking at the page. And yes, Melkor is astoundingly fabulous.

>Captcha: Lord rissigay

>> No.27455781

To be fair I'm pretty sure the scenes where he talks about Gondor to Aragorn and chastises him for not being willing to return to Gondor and take the throne didn't make it into the theatre version.

>> No.27455806

yea in the movie version he says, and this is word for word

"Gondor has no king (looks at aragorn) Gondor needs no king"

I mean wtf, while in the books Boromir is talking about how they are going to return to the white tower and all that shit

I mean what

>> No.27455836

>I mean wtf, while in the books Boromir is talking about how they are going to return to the white tower and all that shit
Exactly, he talks about all that stuff in the movie.

Just not in the cut-down theatre version.

>> No.27455848


Damn, this fucking pisses me off. Melkor was manly, hetero manly that is. He ravished the Sun and had set his eyes on his brother's wife. He would have fucked the most beautiful elf in the universe, if he hadn't snoozed under some lullaby spell.

>> No.27455882

He still disregards Aragorn in a dickish fashion!

Granted I have not seen the extended film, I was quite surprised when in the books Boromir came across as a well intentioned - if misdirected- man I was expceting him to be a total snake

>> No.27455888

>Have an incredible battle with a celestial hound of the gods, lose because fate is stacked against you, as your opponent is doomed to fall to another

>Wipe out an entire civilization, get your mortal shell destroyed, shrug it 0ff and just build a new one

>Hold out against a siege for six +years, only to go out in a blaze of glory after chasing off your enemies' armies with your sheer menace, then dueling their leaders, taking the two most powerful of their number with you

>Be on the verge of world conquest, when you are unexpectedly destroyed by two assholes who, by all rights, should have been dead twenty times over, and only managed to be in the right place at the right time through being EXCEEDINGLY lucky

I think Sauron acquitted himself well enough.

>> No.27455953

just found the gayest picture i ever liked.

google sauron phobs google images.

yellow background, two pictures with a big black line in the middle, you will know it when you found it

>> No.27455990


>> No.27456004

>and only managed to be in the right place at the right time through being EXCEEDINGLY lucky
And having like a million dots in humble. There's a reason it was the Hobbits who had to carry the thing.

>> No.27456006

>I was expceting him to be a total snake
In every version of the movie, he died protecting the hobbits.

The ring is just some upside-down magic where the more awesome you are, the more irresistable it is. That's why they had to find some little twerps to carry it.

>> No.27456019

This Sauron pleases me

>> No.27456021

Glorfindel, I believe.

>> No.27456038


I want to resist, but it is Sooooooooo tempting to go along with the notion that the only reason sauron did not stop the hobbits was because Gandalf's plan was too stupid to be believed.

I have to remind myself that gandalf believed in, indeed fucking embodied, the intervention of gods that had established a millenia spanning precedent of doing fucking nothing, or next to nothing, for middle earth.

Nobody was expecting ANY help from the divine side of the equation coming sooner than the apocalypse.

It's an important, recurring theme in tolkien's works that illuvatar and the valar will leave middle earth in a heartbreakingly sorry state for millenia without getting involved. It's this attitude of "It's too fucked. it's not worth trying"

>> No.27456052

>Implying Sam isn't way more awesome than Boromir
The guy beat a fucking spider the size of a bus using only a dagger and a pan.

>> No.27456076

He was probably tired. Being awesome is exhausting. A nap would sure be nice now and then.

>> No.27456077

I love Melkor's smug face. Like it never occurred to him that she wouldn't even think anyone would even try to brag about hammers as a pickup line.

>> No.27456112

>The guy fought a fucking spider the size of a bus using only a dagger and a pan.
His name literally means "halfwit".

>> No.27456166

>Changes beat for fought
Oh, come on, the bitch is as good as dead.

>> No.27456210



They had divine protection from the very beginning.

Remember that moment when they were walking through the wastes of Mordor? When the clouds parted for but a moment and they saw that one crazy-sacred Star? The Star that's supposedly a divine manifestation of some big important Elven god?

>> No.27456216

You can be both a virile heterosexual man and fabulous as a pride parade.

>> No.27456235


He's not racist if it's true.

If you're a God... Why would you make something that's ugly?

>> No.27456237

Oops, forgot one!

>> No.27456265

>inb4 beauty is a social construct

>> No.27456275

Was it that faggot Earendil with the Silmaril?. I don't quite remember that part.

>> No.27456281

This is an acceptable level of trap. I can't get off to moeblobs, but this works just fine.

>> No.27456297

Midna pls

>> No.27456308

I think I just got inspiration for a new BBEG.

>> No.27456314

I guess, maybe that's possible in Merrka and at the beginning of Arda. Not here tho, buddy.

>> No.27456375

I didn't change it to imply anything about the outcome, but to imply that regardless of the outcome, he was not a clever man.

I'm pretty sure he was just trying to find his way to the kitchen for a snack.

>> No.27456410

>Not being smart means he can't be awesome
Goku? Luffy?

>> No.27456430

Shit son you need to watch the full films, they have so much stuff the theatre version's missing.


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