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[ERROR] No.27231253 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Has your character ever been seduced before?

What was it like?

>> No.27231301

uncomfortable and unfortunate as I rolled a natural 1 for resisting a fucking Thri Kreen!


>> No.27231323

That's male, isn't it?

>> No.27231345


The hell? Was it a spell or something?

>> No.27231418

no, DM just made me roll for it.

>> No.27231437

Awkward, embarrassing, and she ended up crying.

Just like real life!

>> No.27231438

Were you playing Monsterhearts?

>> No.27231494


>> No.27231495


That's not a roll you should have made. I call bullshit on your DM.

>> No.27231563

No, but my GM threatened to send sexy robots after my robot PC to seduce him. To which I replied "he doesn't have a penis."

"I can have the blacksmith make you one"

>> No.27231564

>Implying this is a bad thing.

>> No.27231584

eh, I could buy it. resisting vs an active effort. It's the nat 1 failure that rumpled my crumpets more than anything, since I had zero room to argue.

no, just 3.5

>> No.27231596

>being a boylover
Might as well pick up philosophy while you're at it.

>> No.27231618

I was charmed by a succubus and fired a crossbow bolt at our female party member. Does that count?

>> No.27231622


Why did you need to make an active effort? That's taking away player agency for something stupid and unlikely to happen in other situations.

>> No.27231648

it was an okay ERP, I had a good fap.

>> No.27231658

>implying he isn't going to grow up to be a MIGHT WARRIOR.
He just need guidance and a strong hand.

>> No.27231740

>succumbing to temptations of the flesh


>> No.27231856

One of my favorite PCs, was this druid who ended up doing odd jobs for this weird wizard. Said wizard had dozens of soulless homonculi working for her, all made in human form. My druid, curious and pitying these homonculi, took one at random and befriended him. This homonculus slowly became more and more of an individual, rather than part of a hivemind, and when he achieved true sentience he confessed his love for my druid, who was rather surprised by this.

She ended up marrying him. Once slapped the shit out of him because the party was fighting a dragon and he tried to block an attack from it meant for her; his CL was way too low to be doing that.

>> No.27231896

This guy know's what's up

>> No.27231947

Seduced? No. One campaign did have a running gag of my char being frequently sexually harassed by this one npc though. Who had way better connections than we did and could arrange to get us gear on the cheap, so I had to grimace and take one for the team

>> No.27231972

was male on male or NPC(F) on PC(M) or just plainly and common dude hits on girl nothing new here?

>> No.27232117


Was your character's name Gene Starwind?

>> No.27232237

NPC(F) on PC(F), male gm and male player. Which probably paints a way grosser mental image than what was actually going down. I don't actually play girl chars normally but we were doing an everything is randomly determined type campaign.

At some point it had gone from "trying to get in my pants" to "actively in love with me". Eventually she got kidnapped by cultists and we decided she was too valuable not to rescue. It happened to work out that I was the first one in the room. Broken and beaten, she looks up through bruised eyes and squees "You came!" Had to very loudly insist "JUST BECAUSE I SAVED THE DAMSEL DOESN'T MEAN I ACTUALLY WANT THE DAMSEL GOD DAMN IT"

>> No.27232291

that's hilarious as M/M.

>> No.27232339

This changes everything.

>> No.27232367

you just need a good work out plan and a disney CHARACTER PROGRESSION (tm) out song.

>> No.27232521

no, you misunderstand me, I was resisting an active effort from the bug.

>> No.27232632

Yes and it was fucking awful. Joined the game with a bro and seeing as I was too socially inept to do anything even over the internet I played his ideal waifu. Adept in the bow, spear and house management that joined her husband in adventuring, I wound up team mom as well as somehow having everyone lusting after my character.

>> No.27232701

Have you considered that you may be hiding deeper feelings for your friend

>> No.27232742

>Adept in the bow, spear and house management that joined her husband in adventuring, I wound up team mom
Nothing wrong with that.

>> No.27232760

No. Christ no. I was drowning in spaghetti as it was. Just sort of fell into the role.

>> No.27232826

Not when your husbando, batshit samurai that he was, worships Strength and everyone was plotting OOC to steal me from him without directly challenging him. It was a fun but nerve-
wracking few weeks.

>> No.27232884

Did you ERP with any of them?
What system?

>> No.27232885

>Post Freud
>Not making a comment about the fact that everyone's lusting after the team MOM

>> No.27232993

Nope, I was panicking at having to call my friend darling, no way in hell I'm letting anyone insert anything anywhere. Especially out of wedlock. And some strange Pathfinder Oriental melting pot.

>> No.27233018

Yes, and it was awkward as all hell.

I'm beginning to think that being a fat hairy ugly guy brings out the homolust in my friends when I play a somewhat naive and pure character. I think I need another drink now...

>> No.27233031

Due to my descriptive and narrative skills, I almost always end up GMing our RPGs.

And I go out of my way to make it as awkward as possible for at least one of my players. Last session, I included a Wondrous item and it ended up being a Deck of Illusions, and when my friend the human warrior pulled a joker, I chose to make the illusion a busty female version of his character who was more concerned with him than the enemy.

He was pretty bummed out when the spell wore off and she vanished.

>> No.27233131

This is actually pretty great. I'm guessing your character never returned the NPC's feelings?

>> No.27233150

>Dare you enter my magical realm?

>> No.27233176

It's times like these that I remember everyone isn't a freak like me.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing.

>> No.27233304


One of the only times I was a PC, our game took place in a universe where humans and demons coexisted and God's army of angelic warriors was coming to fuck us all up because the world was beyond redemption.

I was a douchey little bard guy who went around with a lute doing bard shit. The rest of my team was a mighty mage, a warrior and a cleric, and we were hired by the King of the World to go sort things out with God. Our guide was the archetypal sexy amazon succubus girl, and my guy kept trying to win her over with shitty music and smugness.

By the session's climax, the relationship had reached the "little-guy-big-girl-oh-so-in-love-lift-him-up-and-hug-him-and-smoosh-his-face-in-your-lovelies" anime point.

It was a fun game.

>> No.27233318


Yep. In a game revolving around modern-day demon-slaying knights, my character was seduced by his fiancee.

To put it more into context, their families had set up an arranged marriage, and he wasn't very keen on the girl. But she was willing to go all-out to 'make it work'.

She cried afterwards, because she'd been put up to it by her family. I felt awful, especially since she wasn't actually that keen on getting married, too.

>> No.27233384

>Panicking at calling my friend darling
That's adorable and I think you're adorable. (In a not creepy way)

>> No.27233398


That's kind of fucked up, seriously. Exactly how did that happen?

>> No.27233494

IS it a catboy?

>> No.27233547


Well, it was sort of a riff on Hunter: The Reckoning, where you had to have a certain bloodline to use artifacts/powers. My character was from a rather prestigious one - His family had a full suit of Relic armour he could summon.

The other family was wealthy, but not super wealthy. They wanted to marry into power, and they had a hot daughter. So they set my PC up with her.

Anyway, our group visited the place at one point, and - After we doss down for the night - the girl visits me and starts trying to seduce me. The thing is, she's REALLY attractive, and saying things like: "Please - Don't push me away."

So I think...We *are* engaged, after all. What's the harm in going for it?

One fade-to-black later, and - In the post-coitial cuddling - the girl starts crying. She felt bad because there was someone she was already in love with, but y'know, family comes first.

So she told me how her mother had set up the entire time to 'seal the deal' - Because this way, I'd be obliged to marry her to make an honest woman out of her.

Boy did I feel like an asshole.

>> No.27233580

Yes, but found out later on in a room of an inn, that it was a dude. Luckily it didn't get farther than that to say the least. No one let me live that one down for a while.

>> No.27233643

Your DM is a terrible person.

>> No.27233676

The DM may have been an asshole, but he was a good DM if he could elicit a real reaction and a bit of emotion from one of his players.

>> No.27233715

Oh, I agree. That's why I said he's a terrible person, and not a terrible DM.

>> No.27233808

fight for love anon

>> No.27233816


So what happened after that?

>> No.27233829

sometimes the best DM's are the terrible people

>> No.27233972


Well, things were really, really awkward after that. Obviously, I did my level best to be a good boyfriend; As you'd guess, however, it was extremely hard for it to work out.

Later, after her family was wiped out by a summoned demon, the engagement was pretty much annulled. After all, with her family in shambles - She didn't inherit, everything reverted to her father's brother, a distant relative - there was no longer an advantage in the suit.

Her boyfriend challenged me to a duel. The thing was, he was basically a novice - My character was a master swordsman. I tried to talk him down, but eventually had to disarm him.

Also, the girl whom I had sexual tension with was not pleased, and starting acting a lot colder towards me. Ultimately, the situation was resolved when I got killed in the final battle.

Lucky, I guess?

>> No.27234058


Okay, I'm sorry: I'm sugarcoating it. By 'disarm', I meant I chopped off his sword hand. I knocked him down a few times, and told him - "Dude, COME ON. It's *over*." - but he kept getting up. I didn't particularly want to kill him, but I had to stop him from trying to gut him.

So I cut off his hand. I should've punched him out instead, but the guy would have kept coming back. I didn't look forward to getting shivved when I wasn't expecting it.

Yeah, shit got dark fast.

>> No.27234059

>Ultimately, the situation was resolved when I got killed in the final battle.
That's one way to think about it, I guess...

>> No.27234171


That sounds extremely unpleasant and more than a little soul-crushing.

I love it.

>> No.27234242


I think that's what he was insinuating.

>> No.27234245


Nope, she straight up wasn't gay. Eventually developed a grudging respect though, after the NPC stuck her neck on the line for the party on more than one occasion

>> No.27234332


Got seduced by a divine servant of a being that makes slaanesh look like a puritan. It was fucking awful for the character, utterly hilarious for me.

>> No.27234453


Two characters both mentally raped. The first was a space mercenary mind-wiped and forced into love by a psyker.

The second was a wandering priest in a Deadlands game, and a circumstance came about where his mental and emotional facilities were two-way with an angel. Human emotions are nothing to beings who have to yell "DO NOT BE AFRAID" when they show up. And he was a charmer.

>> No.27234488

I want to play a game with a /d/M and have this stuff happen but my DM and the other players are actively against it. If anything sexual does happen its just a fade to black which sucks.

>> No.27234495

>Ultimately, the situation was resolved when I got killed in the final battle.
Exit stage right! Ahahahaha see you trifling bitches in Hell!

As grim as things can get it's comforting to know this sort of interpersonal willtheywon'they shit can't follow you into oblivion.

>> No.27234503

Go find an ERP game. There's an entire general dedicated to exactly what you're asking for.

>> No.27234613

Its not funny at all! He enjoys mocking me about it to no end. Whenever we happen to get into the same group (happens a lot more often than you'd think) he'd ask if I wanted to bring the house wife out of retirement.

>> No.27234651

You're not helping the whole 'not adorable' thing with that, because that's pretty cute too.

>> No.27234689

No, but I've done some seducing. Mostly for shits and giggles, like the time I seduced the mayor of Sandpoint in the middle of a town meeting, just by locking eyes with her and slowly pelvic thrusting the air. CHA rolls are surprisingly easy when you're built to intimidate.

Also I had an idiot player in a shitty game somehow acquire a belt that changed his gender, and he turned into a woman, and then proceeded to flirt with my Blackguard. The Blackguard threw him off a cliff.

>> No.27234695

There is no way in hell you're not gay.

>> No.27235566

How horrible.

You can *choose* to fail rolls, if you want, nonAnon. That was definitely an instance to fail that roll in.

>> No.27235653

>IS it a catboy?

I hope so.


>> No.27235709

Nah, he/she did all the seducing.

>> No.27236299


Yes, by another party member. They're best friends with benefits now.

>> No.27237286

>party hard celebrating latest conquests
>joined by hot girl
>invited over to her place
>fade to black
>begging party face to talk me out of having to stay with her without having her antagonise the rest of the village on me since I can't into subtlety

>> No.27237410

I have only had a character be seduced once. It was by a whore who then very very much later became the guy's wife. Me and the party made an honest woman out of her and she ended up as a member of a church doing good things.

The DM ended up killing her and their kids though in a ploy for quick empathy and angst but it was still a product of a "save or fall in love" roll that actually went somewhere.

>> No.27237650

We spent most of the last session I played trying to find a way for my Paladin to weasel out of a shotgun marriage to a disgraced Elven noble, who lost everything after the party insinuated she was pregnant by me. Since the rumour caught on so well, the only option to recover her dignity would be marry me, beget the child of rumour and then promptly slit my throat in the night.

To prevent a TPK and save innocents, I had sworn on my honour as a paladin not to move from where I stood till I was married, and the party cleric had been Geased such that he too could not move till Glacia and I were married.

The loophole we worked on was that she never mentioned "to each other". The cleric ended up surprise marrying me to my sister, who was there for the wedding, and marry Glacia himself on the logic that "once you go Orc, with none other can you pork" It worked, and actually fulfilled my character's long standing goal of trying to palm off his responsibility as potential heir to the throne to his younger sister.

>> No.27237682


And again, that's not something a roll should cover. Roll to seduce shouldn't be done on the PCs themselves, mostly because it ends up with silly scenarios like this. It's like rolling to turn someone gay. It doesn't happen.

>> No.27237695

So...How much Cha did the cleric have?

>> No.27238038

None whatsoever. The elf kind of did it to herself. The wedding rings were enchanted with a temporary love spell, she needed my character in the sack long enough to conceive. Of course the Cleric had just enough spellcraft to know there was some kind of powerful enchantment on the ring so he made sure to put that one of Glacia.

He basically stole my characters move where you trick the female character into slapping you and then you readied action grapple check the handcuffs onto them. My character has inadvertently amassed a rogues gallery of woman with a thing for bondage.

>> No.27238055

Once I played a gnome that was seduced by boulder. That was a silly campaign....

>> No.27239022

>mentally raped

I need feminism because the mental rape needs to stop!

>> No.27239114

That sounds fucking hilarious, curse items like that are the shit.
I'm an English teacher in charge of running the high school's D&D club, and for our next campaign I'm not sure whether to include a cursed item that makes the user grow a thick, bushy beard (regardless of gender), makes them 1/12 their height, reverses their alignment or reverses their gender.

Gender-swaps might be a little2lewd4anEnglishclass though.

>> No.27239147

Depends. What grade?

>> No.27239161

Don't do gender swaps unless you want to seem like a creep.

Bushy beard.

>> No.27239193

It's a High School club, so anywhere from 9th to 12th.

Yeah, I was leaning toward the beard. The best thing about a High School club is I'm pretty much guaranteed to have at least one female player, and she'd definitely be female so I'd have a beardy-weirdy wizard lady who had to shave every day.

>> No.27239209

What edition of D&D?

>> No.27239217

Yes, my bard was once seduced by an ent.

It was back in the day when i thought diplomacy rolls could justify any shit i said, no matter how poorly i worded it or how much of an shitty friend speech it was.

Sure, first i was all like "Woo, monster tree husbando" but then it came to the abuse, then to the woodsie cult rituals, and then my character died. I was of course mad about it but in the end after a long discussion about it we came to the conclusion that if i'm gonna play the bard i gotta be a bit convincing at least, and that the DM should stop being a faggot and tell us what pisses him of about us BEFORE he kills our characters.

>> No.27239244

Yes, I realize that I'm a big faggot.

>> No.27239265

Well, there is the Iron Beard spell from PF that you could steal some things from. A bit of incentive to say that this curse isn't all bad.

>> No.27239292

All of my characters are normally too angry, oblivious or gay to have seduction work on them.

Funny how those things work.

My thri-kreen psion almost got seduced in to going with some shady shithead but it didn't work so hard her next reaction was just to fucking mind-punch him and leave.

>> No.27239304

Sounds cool.

>> No.27239537

Not me, but one of my players last night seduced the tavernmaid to distract her from the fact they had an old man tied up and blinded and were trying to extort information from him about the Keep (he had absolutely none).

>> No.27239717

Long ago, I played a mutant cat guy in a game of After the Bomb. Pretty much an honorable type, rather like a reasonable paladin now that I think about it. Anyway, the GM ended up introducing an NPC, a big, mutant tiger woman. Something of a Hulk Smash sort, she actually reminded me of another player who was our real life Big Dumb Barbarian.

Well, she hit on my character a few times, and I rebuffed her because my character had no reason to be interested in her. And then the GM had her show up in heat and made me roll to not bed her out of instinct. Natural 1 on my roll, fade to black and the GM asked for a few more saves to survive the night with a horny amazon tigress with no intention of holding back. Survived, got patched up, and while we learned she was pregnant, the game ended before getting any further.

>> No.27240798


>> No.27241285

>not playing a sub catboy

Are you straight or something?

>> No.27241286

Actually, MY character is the seducing one.
Let me explain: Black Crusade, party consisting in male nurgulite apostate, a Word Bearer and my slaaneshi renegade girl. Obviously, I must be the face of the party.
I have seduced at least 5 PDF guards, one PDF officer, 2 guardsmen, a pirate captain, a whole tzeenetchian cult (more or less 20 men and 3 women) and a slaaneshi noblewoman.
A nobleman from the same slaaneshi cult tried to hit on me, and after freeing a Keeper of Secrets who he had bound to his cat I have a greater daemon molesting me. Then there's this girl on our personal cruiser who I knew from my former life (we were both in a Rouge Trader entourage). She keeps jumping on me and calling me "Chill"-sama.

... I'm going to miss this campaign.

>> No.27241773

Oh, it hit plenty of my fetishes, but I was trying to 1) Stay in character, and 2) not reveal anything else for the group to pick at, since I was already playing a furry in their eyes and adding fetishes would only make it worse.

Pretty much, but I can't say I didn't enjoy it from my side.

>> No.27241877

I had a kobold get "seduced" by nightmare cinobite fuckers. He ate lots of bore and puked and was so happy.

>> No.27243021

My elf rogue that I played in a 3.5 campaign a few years ago got gang-raped by minotaurs.

My rogue was male.

So were the minotaurs.

Such is the downside of having a high CHA rogue.

>> No.27243331

>male elf
>high Charisma

Did you enjoy playing a trap?

>> No.27244755

>tfw you will never have a bro who asks you to roleplay his waifu in Jade Regent

>> No.27247490

Why did he get gang-raped though?

>> No.27247506


That's just what minotaurs do.

>> No.27247516

Why would a high-charisma elf be a trap?

>> No.27248010

Current RP party has our warlock and barbarian dating each other at the moment. I'm the lil kid of the party that has to keep em in line.

>> No.27248161

That's a good question. It would demand there be secondary sexual dimorphism amongst elves in the first place, since "trap" implies a male with female attributes.

It seems like "elf trap" is an oxymoron if you think about it.

>> No.27248261


It wasn't so much "seducing" as it was the character convincing mine to come out with her to collect firewood, waited until we were out of shouting distance to the camp, and politely asked my character to, and I quote, "fuck her brains out."

It was Kingmaker, and while my character's background was being a stone-cold bandit bastard, hers was being an ACTUAL royal bastard that grew up in luxury and safety. She saw her first deaths and it sort of caused a panic attack (fucking was her way to cope.)

The only thing that would've made it more awkward was if her familiar watched; luckily she had it go off to chase butterflies or something equally inane (it was a bobcat which, after getting a nat 20 first time I tried Handle Animal on it, regarded me as the "second best human ever.")

>> No.27248427

I gotta say, that's one of the hottest methods of soliciting sex.

>> No.27249473

Maybe "he" is trans?

>> No.27250189

It went something like this.

>> No.27251206

>bag of holding birth control
>sat on by a giantess
>dragon rapists

Damn, this shit sounds hilarious! I wish I could do this kind of shit but since I'm >>27239114 I'd probably get fired.

>> No.27252791

Did he lose it in an unfortunate smelting accident?

>> No.27252996

Well, my party came across a "wrecked" wagon with a woman and her two "children" (read: halflings in child's clothing) on the side of the road, and having the highest charisma of the party, I was elected to see what was up. She tells me some sob story about a broken axle, and I roll a sense motive.
>Nat 1
I get distracted by her shapely body and low-cut dress and think she might actually be telling the truth.
I call back to the rest of the group something to the effect of "Hey, guys! This seems legit!"

She later turned out to be a lieutenant in the local thieves guild

>> No.27253507

>"children" (read: halflings in child's clothing)

Halflings do not look like children.

>> No.27253552


>> No.27253776

Not sure how much this counts as seduction, but...

One of my characters was less of a people person than some. He liked the group, they got along well, the others were useful and they respected him enough to not ask about his life before he joined them more than once. One of the party members, however, managed to worm her way into his life.

She was new to the party, and she was just being nice to him. When they sat down for a meal she'd fetch him a share of what was being cooked, she sat with him, occasionally just leaned on him to rest before bed. She stayed up with him on watch or on nights where he couldn't sleep, she comforted him when he was upset.

Long story short, my character became very close to her. Never sexually, but intimately enough that if they had it wouldn't have been a surprise to anyone. She even got him to open up and talk about his past, and why he was motivated to help the rest of the group in the first place.

Her player didn't have the heart to spoil the story, and her character didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. She was using me on behalf of the BBEG to infiltrate the party and lead us into a trap. She succeeded, and while we survived we discovered the ploy and her true allegiance in the process.

I feel like I don't need to explain how that felt for me or my character. I didn't have the stomach to kill her, and her character escaped when I had her cornered. The rest of the party still thinks her character's dead.

>> No.27253864

Apparently these ones did, I dunno

>> No.27255152

A dirty commie mutant who had been off their mandatory hormone suppressants made strange gestures at me, obviously attempting to use their traitorous powers. I shot them in the head.

>> No.27255172

They look like very, very hairy children who will attempt to shank you in the back.

>> No.27256445

Does it count if my character and an NPC seduced each other simultaneously? Because seriously, I think I might've done that with a drow priestess. Started with the party getting captured, then she arranged to meet me (a fancy ranger variant) behind closed doors so she could hear me "beg for my life", and the DM mentioned that she had horns and unusually light skin for a drow: I rolled well on a knowledge check and identified her as a part-fiend of some kind, probably either a succubus or erinyes. So I started by telling her it was too bad she wasn't as good-hearted on the inside as she was beautiful on the outside, or something like that. Natural 20 Diplomacy. She paused, the DM rolled some dice behind the screen, presumably for a sense motive roll, and nodded.

She replied by cautiously asking if I really thought she was attractive, despite her obvious heritage. My DM also told be to roll opposed Diplomacy, and I did: an 18, good enough to keep my wits about me. So I replied that yes, she was "the hottest piece of ass in the whole gods-damned Underdark", but that I couldn't really love her because her heart was black. We rolled to change attitudes: we'd already gone to unfriendly from hostile, and again both rolled well. I dumped off a daily bonus, and got her all the way to helpful, and went from there.

I told her that the only thing keeping me from "whisking her away to the surface to be my blushing bride" was that she was keeping my party here, and the DM, who had no qualms about hamming it up in front of the table, told me "not to make a promise to a girl if I don't intend to keep it", and that if I swore to be hers she would even "let me take the reigns every once in a while".

They went in ready to kill each other, but by the time the party got there, they were cuddling and sipping mushroom wine.

>> No.27256512

I bet you two were holding hands as well you suck fuck.

>> No.27256518

Shit, forgot to spoiler that.

>> No.27256539

that sounds great

>> No.27256580

My Hehestaeus Scion (in a game of Scion) Ended up shacking up with the half british daughter of one of the Chinese gods. Apparently she was turned on by my piss ugly mug and penchant for throwing cars at monsters.

The campaign ended with our group of heroes being offered godhood and my Scion telling them they'd all done a pisspoor job of it and could go fuck themselves. I then preceded to ride off of Avalon on my Harley, British/Chinese girl sitting behind me. That was an awesome campaign.

Same game I ended up making the replacement sword for King Arthur after someone else got their hands on excalibur.

>> No.27256806


No. But the Paladin in our group was accidentally NTR`d by our Bard. It was very awkward to find out that the girl the Bard shagged was actually the Paladin`s Fiancee.

That said, the Bard`s Player was a really cool, funny guy and his bard would constantly hit on everything that moved and since our DM thought that just rolling for Speech-Checks etc is boring he always makes us act out what the Character does in moments like that, so the Table would devolve regularly into 5 teary-eyed people trying to keep their sides from ascending while the Bard-Player pulled of this really, sleazy, faux-charming gentleman act that felt like something between Antonio Banderas and Gomez Addams complete with authentic lisp.

>> No.27257120

No, but on a similar note I was uncomfortably the target of a creepy NPC's affections for a while.

My character; a bitter, vindictive chaos-hating WHF wizardess suffered several mutations and was basically warp spawn (high chaos campaign; basically we were stuck in the Warp) and my allies (I had no choice in the matter) had to make a deal with nauseatingly friendly champions of Tzeentch to reverse/reduce my mutations before I was completely lost.

The NPC was the functionally-retarded sibling of the exalted champion, who was essentially a crude thug who fawned over the champion (his brother) while simultaneously having incredibly broken potency in every conceivable respect.

TL, DR: He liked the look of my mutations post-"recovery" (I got turned inside out) and decided to steal me away to his room whose walls were comprised of the howling souls of his "ex girlfriends" -- my allies basically threw me to the wolves and encouraged it like dicks -- and I was forced to, somehow, talk him out of his obsessive affection for me without also simultaneously getting instagibbed.

It was an intensely awkward situation where I was fumbling to turn him against his brother (almost got my head knocked off), trying to convince him that I wasn't good enough ("they never are") and it lasted for several minutes before the GM had a modicum of mercy/had had his fun and I ended up unceremoniously thrust through the wall, out the second story floor of the building they'd taken over.

The sad part is that that wasn't even close to the most frustrating parts of that campaign.

>> No.27257929

Wait. So your paladin married his sister, who would now be inheriting the throne. Wouldn't heirs be a problem?

>> No.27258114

It almost happened last session.

The party was trying to break into a wizard's tower to use the library. The full paladin and magus became absolutely socially retarded and couldn't get past the fat wizard guard who spent the whole time eating sausages and not wanting to talk to them.

So my half-orc cavalier/paladin decided the best plan was to go get the cheesiest wizard costumes (pointy hats with stars, pointy shoes, the whole jazz) and just walk through the front door pretending to be students. Spent an entire day trying to find a seamstress, ended up dealing with the creepy ass spy NPC. Now this spy is by far the creepiest NPC the DM ever ran, he made you feel absolutely dirty every time he spoke. He was always serious and exceedingly polite. With his yes sirs, and of course sirs and I wouldn't do that sirs. Had a conversation, plot plot. By then my character was drinking some...unfortunately magic booze that makes one really, really happy despite everything. So the wizard costume plan sounded better and better. Finally annoyed at not being able to find one all day, I ask the spy where the nearest seamstress was.

What I was unaware of was that "seamstress" in that city was a euphemism for a prostitute. They spy was aware that I was ignorant to the ways.

The session ended when my terrified of women Half-orc jumped out a second story window, butt ass naked, carrying a pile of armor, screaming like a madman through the night as he ran back to the ship.

I was informed afterwards that he would soon have to pay tithes to the entertainer's guild for 'performance art'.

And I didnt realize it until tonight, that I got pranked by the creepiest spy ever.

>> No.27259951

Fun group!

>> No.27261694

>It was very awkward to find out that the girl the Bard shagged was actually the Paladin`s Fiancee.
How did he not know the girl he fucked was the paladin's fiancee?

>> No.27261752

>Druid working for a Wizard making UNNATURAL ABOMINATIONS

you know, druid means more than just shapeshifting hippy

>> No.27261854

Hell is made of anime love triangles, anon

>> No.27261886

>able to insinuate your paladin acted dishonorably

Paladins are such sticks in the mud exactly so people will say "yeah no, bullshit" when someone makes up shit about you

>> No.27261967

it was played for laughs.

the ranger/scout is completely naive and ill-suited to deal with the real world. so our party went to a town to crash for a night and then scour the general places for information for our next job.

somehow this guy gets separated from the rest of the group so the DM decides to fuck with him. He ends up going to the red light district, where he is immediately approached by a half-elven "fair maiden" who asks if he would enjoy a place to stay, and if he could show off his "bow and arrow".

So of course he agrees- free food and shelter! Plus, he finally found someone to talk about weapons and living off the land with!

After several failed Speech checks, the rest of the party found him next day in an alley outside a brothel, crying.

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