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File: 458 KB, 883x1169, Commisar_Ciaphas_Cain.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
27147682 No.27147682 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Don't mind me. Just being the best Commisar ever

>> No.27147740


>> No.27147778


>> No.27147792

Considering that his primary job is morale boosting and giving tactical advice, he probably is a genuine contended for the title.

Martial skills and courage (or lack thereof) are just helpful extras.

>> No.27147829

>resists Chaos
>beds an Inquisitor
>defeats a Daemon Prince
>negotiates a ceasefire with the Tau
>instrumental in multiple victories for the Imperium


>> No.27147848
File: 63 KB, 750x600, Kharn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.27147892

Don't forget being a messianic savior on several planets.
Which then build ugly memorials for him.

>> No.27147910

>did that bloody clock get destroyed with it?
>no, sir

>> No.27147960


>> No.27148011

would that make Jurgen Twiki?

>> No.27148060

Your not Fucklaw.....

>> No.27148086

testing dice, they are glitching for some reason

>> No.27148101

wtf is this

>> No.27148111
File: 262 KB, 566x590, CainAndAmberly.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Any Commissar that plows an Inquisitor's ass/facefucks her and gets away with it is clearly the bestest. Pic related:
Good thread OP.

>> No.27148144

trying again. Not sure why my dice aren't working. Can anyone help?

>> No.27148180

Rolled 51

No? Yes? Maybe?

>> No.27148200

Rolled 16


capping "dice" perhaps?

>> No.27148220
File: 981 KB, 342x239, STUFF AND THINGS.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Not Gaunt

>> No.27148228

So. Boosts morale? Nope, shooting and killing a bunch of your own dudes doesn't actually work much in actuality, especially when you have a pistol and they outnumber you ~10:1 and all have full auto rifles. Gives tactical advice and acts as an advisor? "KILL MAIM BURN!!!!" is not all that helpful.

0/10 would not use as anything but a shock trooper. A task at which he would, admittedly excel at.

>> No.27148249
File: 2.77 MB, 360x176, YES.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Uncensored pls

>> No.27148252

He's a good officer, but Cain's a better Commissar.

>> No.27148276


Sorry, I gave up on Gaunt's Sues. You can count the core named characters that die on one hand, and you can tell which characters are redshirts based upon whether or not they've been previously mentioned.

>> No.27148339

That doesn't look like Commisar Holt

>> No.27148387

>not a stupid piece of /tg/ self wank

>> No.27148401

Has a Commissar ever become a proper Space Marine?

Seems like if one were physical suited for service, entered the guard, became so loyally devoted to the Emperor (and survived the Guard long enough), they'd be prime Space Marine material (assuming they also meet the genetic requirements for Space Marinehood.)

>> No.27148411

You mean like Bragg, Corbec, Soric, Dorden, Caffran, Milo, Feygor...
I mean, of the original Ghosts who got statted out in WD, I think just Gaunt and Larkin are still alive.

>> No.27148420

Space marines for the most part need to be processed while young, otherwise they have a near zero chance of surviving the proceedure

>> No.27148422
File: 14 KB, 212x241, 10hoursinpaint.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>self wank
you don't understand the mystical concepts of jokes, humour or levity, do you, anon?

>> No.27148427

By the time they've graduated the Progenium and become a Cadet, they're too old for Geneseed implantation.

>> No.27148449

Makes sense. Thanks!

Still, you'd think there might be a rare exception or something. I guess it's for the best that there isn't (to avoid Mary Sueism).

>> No.27148462

What about the other guy?
The major, whose name escapes me, that early on was always trying to kill Gaunt.

Man its been a long time since i've read the GG books, i'm forgetting characters

>> No.27148490

He's actually still alive. Rawne. I forgot he even got statted...

>> No.27148548
File: 36 KB, 321x241, 1348287125318.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Warhammer 40K
>Avoiding mary suism

>> No.27148553

His revenge plot has been pretty much off the table since Gereon, though.
You don't kill Chaos lords together with nothing but mud on your skin and a stone in your hand, and then think about revenge.

>> No.27148560

Which is weird, because he's not a forgettable person.

I liked the other characters who made it into the ghosts but werent first-and-only.
Gol Kolea and (again, bad with names) the officer who runs into a burning building to safe some little trinket shirt pin or something, then gets stabbed and survives. Side characters are fun.

>> No.27148662

Yeah, he's a very memorable character, I think he just got written as a Generic Officer, though, with no real interesting things to make you want to play him on the TT, unlike Bragg, Larkin, Milo, and Gaunt. I honestly like best the crowd guys. Those guys who you feel bad when they die because you just barely recognize the name as "That guy who did that thing," like Mkendrick and Doyle, who just kind of show up again and again then finally die.

>> No.27148689

Then again, there will always be the one guy that, despite only being there for a little bit and turning up mid way through, we're all glad is gone.

>> No.27148716

>best Commisar ever
>hasn't even blammed once
Noble-bright plz.

>> No.27148726

He's blammed infected Guardsmen before.
In front of the regiment, no less.

>> No.27148737

Yep. Due to the stupidity of airports, I got stuck at the cliffhanger with Muril for 8 hours. I hate him SO MUCH.

>> No.27148750


Teamkilling because plot. Doesn't even begin to count as a combat death.


Wasn't dead when I stopped. Had just caught the cancers.


Catches a case of the psykers and begs to die. Is mercy killed. Not a combat death.


Not dead.

I've still got enough fingers left on one hand for several varied rude gestures, unless you're going to start arguing redshirts as core.

They survive shit in-universe that no given IG commando PERIOD should, let alone a whole pack of them surviving multiple iterations and all being under the same banner. They've transcended Grimdark A-Team and are well on into wank.

>> No.27148759

Oh fuck that guy, I'm still mid way through the Saint Omnibus and I hate his guts, can wait until he dies, I hope he gets eaten by a daemon so I can laugh knowing he's the warp's plaything for all eternity

>> No.27148822

>Core Named Characters that die
>Doesn't count TKs or blamming

Moving the goalposts a bit, eh?

>> No.27148830

Oh, and I forgot
>I didn't read that one, it didn't happen

>> No.27148857

The closest to that is Hector Rex who got bulked up with gene manipulation and geared out by the I. He's more or less a de-facto grey knight

>> No.27148891

it's fairly clear that he meant that there was little narrative tension in combat scenarios, and he just articulated it badly.

>> No.27148913


>Implying Cain is any fucking better

Fucking hell, you dumbass bitch. He somehow beat a spess maroon in dueling. Faced him head on, parried, and didn't get his arm ripped out of it's socket when he tried to block.

>> No.27148915

Book 1 had him ordering Jugen to use his melta on that idiot Kelp who went traitor, later on had him executing two infected guardsmen.

One of the reasons Cain doesn't execute people is because he *doesn't need to*, by the time book one rolls around, he's already a renowned HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, and he's actually extremely* skilled at boosting morale and keeping order.

He's so effective that shooting people would be *less* effective than using his insane charisma score.

Seriously, Cain is extremely charismatic, and if he was a DnD character, would likely wind up as a Bard of all things.

>> No.27148940

>WH40K needs more of a bad thing.

>> No.27148960

you're anidiot.
He clearly deflects it, and states that he would be fucked in an extended combat scenario.

Don't parrot other people without reading the source, it makes you look like a fucking retard

>> No.27148970


>Doesn't need to in the face of unrelenting horror

Yeeeah, no. That's horseshit.

>> No.27148986

>hurrr durr he beet a muhreen!!!!!!!!

I always love when faggots bring that up. Yes. He did. A severely wounded chaos marine, that he held off for a few seconds to give Jurgen time to get the meltagun ready and then disengage, before moving out of the way so that said melta could kill the marine. So what, meltas are mary sues now because they one hit kill marines?

>> No.27148996


I have the fucking book you little stain of shit on my shoe. Fuck right the hell off.

It doesn't fucking matter that he 'deflects' it. His arm should be GONE. That's how hard a chaos maroon bezerker hits.

>> No.27149019


>Severely wounded

Not implied anywhere in the text. You're moving the goalposts, fucknugget, to protect your precious sue.

>> No.27149043

>doesn't count TK

Because that has nothing to do with how the named characters should've died like flies to the opposition they've faced. That they skate through a dozen hellish combat actions with redshirts as their only real losses is my primary objection.

They're Voyager: the Regiment.


See above.


I'll give you Dorden. Still have fingers to go.


An Inquisitor names his as possibly one of the greatest living swordsmen of the age. He deflects a blow from a HEAVILY WOUNDED Space Marine and then gets the hell out of the way.

Cain is comic relief. Gaunt's Sues are supposed to be serious Spess Vietnam.

>> No.27149059
File: 5 KB, 290x174, 1336497036226.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Do you not see why a duelist facing a stronger opponent and utilising dueling techniques that rely on his opponents strength is different from full on blocking it?

are you literally retarded?

>> No.27149063

We may be talking about two separate occasions then. There is a time wherein he faces one.

So to enrage you more, he not only defeats one chaos marine, but TWO! :DDDDD

>> No.27149080

This was supposed to be a Cain thread, not bitching about Gaunt

>> No.27149105


Are you so fucking stupid that you can't possibly understand that it DOESN'T. FUCKING. MATTER?

You don't seem to understand that. He swings, Cain tries to deflect. He blow is insanly powerful, and should, if Cain wasn't a sue little shit, snap his arm in two like a toothpick, no matter how 'skillfully' deflected because that's how physics work.

>> No.27149112

>Only way a Commissar can act is by shooting everyone into compliance.
And people wonder why the setting is called grimderp.

>> No.27149118


Then post the text, shitbag.

Come on, do it. Prove your point.

>> No.27149145

Welcome to /TG/, god this place went to shit

>> No.27149146

no, this started out as a thread about awesome commisars, whicht he OP posted the wrong picture, because it clearly isn't yarrick.

>> No.27149148

>no matter how 'skillfully' deflected because that's how physics work.
>that's how physics work.

Literally retarded it is.

please go back to /v/ where you belong

>> No.27149152

>How did that little guy toss the larger guy over his shoulder? Obviously the larger guy is so much more powerful, that the little guy should've been squashed by his strength!

>> No.27149155

>because that's how physics work.
you clearly know nothing about the physics of swordplay, deflections are based on leverage and angeling, not raw power

>> No.27149168


What? You think the setting ISN'T grimderp? Because it totally fucking is. It's the SETTING.

That's why people like Gaunt and Cain stand out as sue's. They are incompatable with the rest of the universe.

>> No.27149170
File: 169 KB, 600x336, A8VgrCKCUAEgc6k.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.27149176

No. I don't have the book anymore. *shrugs* YOU post YOUR text. Or is it only not true if it's something from my memory, not yours?

>> No.27149181

Okay I can concede a point when dealing with Yarrick, he's in a class all his own

>> No.27149221

At this point, Yarrick is more a general than a commissar.

>> No.27149226

And now just to fuck with the entire thread.

Yarrick recognises Cain as a respectable colleague and a fine commisar.
If i remember rightly, Cain has studied, or at least heard of Gaunt in a good light.

>> No.27149233

The only time he actually killed a CSM was when his opponent was already half-dead and had huge fucking gaps in his armour.

The other time he basically bought time until Jugen could fire off his melta without also hitting Cain, he also aknowledged that he couldn't win in a straight up fight, and that his opponent was stronger than him, and Cain himself was tiring. Both are from Book 3.

>> No.27149242

Yes, that is exactly how physics works.
Deflecting fucking means to redirect the majority of a blow as opposed to blocking which would have you taking the force head-on.
Deflecting a blow is what less powerful fencers do.
Or fencers who would rather not destroy their sword.

>> No.27149267


You wanted this debate, shitbag. I asked for citation. You failed. Not my problem.


In this case? Yes, you massive, drooling fucknugget. His sword stayed in hand. You really don't seem to understand just how strong an SM is swinging. By all rights, his pathetic little chainsword should have snapped in two. Because him trying to 'deflect' wouldn't have DONE ANYTHING.

This is the setting YOU shitheads love so much. Yet, you're so egar to toss out the rules because NNGH, CAIN GETS MAH PANTIES WEEEEEEEEEEEET.

>> No.27149299

>Yarrick recognises Cain as a respectable colleague and a fine commisar.

where does he say that? I;m not doubting you, just curious

I do know that he gave Gaunt a backhanded compliment, I think he was describing him as having the qualities he (thinks he) doesn't have.

>> No.27149301


The impact alone should have broke his arm. Yes, even deflecting. SM's, let alone the 'zerkers, are crazy strong.

While that other guy's a jackass, he's got a ghost of a point.

>> No.27149310

Yes, this is what I was referring to. I may have gotten the two mixed up in my head, thus my mention of the marine being wounded and then him GTFOing so Jurgen could melta him. I am SO SORRY, other anon, for ruffling your feathers by not having a photographic memory. Forgive me, uguu~~?

>> No.27149311

If you had the Cain novels be relentlessly grim in order to conform to your pointless whinging, the series themselves would cease to have its comedic elements, and thus, lose its entire point in the first place.

>> No.27149337

IIRC Cain was put formally in charge of a defence at one point and thought that it was a unique position, while Amberley footnotes it saying there was a Commisar by the name of Gaunt in a similar position, so I think you may be wrong about Cain knowing about Gaunt, unless he just didn't remember the force org details.

>> No.27149352

I'm sure it's mentioned at some point in one of his many tirades into reminiscence. He does mention the other 2 commisars at least once throughout the series. Perhaps someone with a bit moreof an eidetic memory can elaborate.

>> No.27149353


And thus, have no point but stupid sueism. Thanks for proving the fucking point, jackass.

>> No.27149358

Uhh I think you're talking to someone else, that was the first post I made in the "CSM vs Cain" argument...

>> No.27149360

As far as I know the only exception is Space Wolves, who take adults (young ones usually, but still adults) as initiates.

>> No.27149366
File: 27 KB, 320x234, desoll.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.27149385

So basically your entire point is to call anything you don't like a Mary Sue?

>> No.27149410

So, do you not like classic heroes like Superman and shit because they generally never lose and always beat the bad guys and shit? Sounds pretty sue to me.

>> No.27149431

it really does depend on how exactly the blow landed.
Having the novel here, it says that he deflected the blow into the Bezerkers legplate, it's very possible he had the angle to take very little actual impact.
Plus, he'd sparred with Drumon (a techmarine), and might have been taught or picked up how to properly fight against overwhelming strength.

>> No.27149442

Huh? Oh, no, I was saying that my first post, wherein I said that he fought the severely wounded one to buy time for melta, was a memory mixup on my part. I then proceeded to goad the asshat who's been arguing how it's so mary sue of him to not lose an arm deflecting an attack.

>> No.27149485

yes, superman's a faggot, batman is where it's at

>> No.27149496
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>> No.27149498
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>> No.27149500


When it utterly doesn't fit the fucking universe as it's been shown to us? Yes, it's sueshit.


See above, shitbag. He works where he is. Move him into 40k universe? Then it's sueshit.

>> No.27149502

The one he killed had been worn down by a hundred cultists and bleeding from orifices that not even Slaanesh had heard of.

Come on now. Playtime is over. Go troll your mom.

Since they are fictional, what can and cannot be assumed about their power is a pointless debate. We don't have the angles, the force one such strike would have nor do we know just how tough Cain would be.
Just wanking Astartes is not a conclusive answer.

Nah, she notes that Gaunt existed, auld lang syne.
He's been millennia dead by that point.
Gaunt was never part of anything Gaunt partook in, save for the Commissariat and the IG in general.

>> No.27149505

Cain is the best.

When that Khornate CSM thought the Guards were cultists because when you chant "Cain Cain Cain Cain" it kinda sounds like "Khorne Khorne Khorne" (muffled helmet?) I laughed my guts out

>> No.27149508

thats because I have taste, thus if I dislike it, it must be because it's bad

>> No.27149509

Yeah, I just pretty much caught the tail end of your argument, I just wanted to clarify for clarification's sake.

>> No.27149534


It's...in theory possible, but it's one of those things, that combined with a large number of others, that just simply add up to make me dislike the character, personally.

>> No.27149575

>that combined with a large number of others,
what others?
tell uncle anon and we can discuss it.

>> No.27149580


We know Cain is human, without cybernetics. That's really all we need to know. There's a rough one in a million chance, so of course he makes it, but it doesn't put any less of a bad taste in my mouth because of it.

That's not wank, by the way, it's simply how the universe has been set up.

>> No.27149583

>When it utterly doesn't fit the fucking universe as it's been shown to us?
you really think that there is only one kind of story this universe can tell

>> No.27149596

40k hasn't been totally serious from the very beginning, Ultramarine Blue, Obiwan Sherlock Closseau, THE FUCKING ORKS.

If you think 40k is 100% grimderp serious, you're fucking retarded.

>> No.27149615


...you, ah, have read the books, correct?

>> No.27149639

IRL people get confused between Khaine and Khorne even without a helmet to muffle them.

>> No.27149642

If it's just a case of the opinions, I can respect them and move on.

>> No.27149667

>one in a million
Remind me again, excactly HOW many men are in the Imperium? Hell, how about the number in the Imperial Guard?

The entire this is pretty much an autobiography of someone famous. If he died he obviously couldn't write it, and if he didn't stand out, there'd be no freaking point.

Next you're going to tell me that Nikola Tesla was a Mary Sue or some shit.

>> No.27149689
File: 12 KB, 244x300, vimes1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Anons, we all know how one in a million chances work.

>> No.27149720

You don't know how to take the universe, then.
We are talking about a universe with Wehrmacht Orks.
And acid-spitting super heroes in armor so expensive you could raise a regiment for the cost.

Also, Cain learned fencing from Miyamoto de Bergerac. That's Miyamoto Musashi and Cyrano de Bergerac rolled into one person.
How could he not be the most awesome fencer of his time?

>without cybernetics
He has augmetic fingers.

>> No.27149723

Cain has a couple of advantages over your average human

>master swordsman
>crack shot
>carapace armor
>Completely loyal blank with a melta who has no imagination
>Boyfriend of an Inquisitor
>Friends with Lord Generals
>loved by most of his men

You know, stuff like that.

>> No.27149881

Go away Tomas Beije

>> No.27149890

Was Cain Sulla's husbandu or did she just respect him as a leader?

>> No.27149907


It probably is. I mean, he took on a warboss one on one somehow, and won that. (According to chronology, right near the beginning of his career)

It's....yeah. Also see


The things just keep adding up, one after another, when it comes to things where none of that matters too much. 40k universe is a truly shitty, shitty place, and here's this guy that just gets to break all the rules for no real reason? Meh. I mean, he's basically never lost, nor had a major setback. I just get so, so BOARD with that.

>> No.27149953

Sulla is actually Cain's gorgeous wife, but Amberley, in a fit of jealousy, decided to write some fanfiction about her being ugly and how Cain totally hates Sulla, and loves her herself instead.

>> No.27149958


Just to point out further that 27149689 doesn't know the serie half as well as he claims, Cain does have an augumetic hand. Not much in the way of cybernetics, but it has given him an upper hand (har har) in some situations due to a crushingly strong grip

>> No.27149960

>so BOARD with that

Haha! As you have made a minor spelling error, that completely invalidates the rest of your post, haha!

Am I troll yet /tg/?

>> No.27149962

Definitely the former.

>> No.27150046

It is hilarious how the framing means this could actually be true.

On a tangentially related note, I would say that methinks Cain doth protest too much about any purported relations between him and Kasteen, but the author has a grating habit of repetition in a number of areas - "had I known..." being perhaps the most egregious - that makes me doubt.

>> No.27150056

to be fair, most of those come from his genuine abilities, and he also tends to consider them to be a setback due to how often he nearly gets killed for them.
He also was pretty much outclassed in every by the warboss, he had to get propa sneaky for that one.

But I can empathise if you disagree, and it's you're perfectly free to have it.
And I just realised how much of a condescending douche I just sounded like, but it's 1:30 and I can't be bothered to retype it to something less stupid.

You are strong in the ruse, young SKkwalker, but you are not a troll yet

>> No.27150081


Yeah, nah, we trolls now.

>> No.27150089

by the second omnibus it is a bit reduced, looking forward to the third collection, I want to read the Greater Good

>> No.27150101

If I recall, he said he kinda wished he'd fucked her, but didn't.

>> No.27150113

I bet the book to complete the omnibus has the twist that the Shadowlight was taken by Trayzin the Infinite as part of his collection

>> No.27150125

True. I have not made you out to be a horrible person, outright insulted you or your family, not used a strawman argument. Clearly I've much farther to travel before I can don the mantle.

>> No.27150126


I didn't see any mention of cockfaggot or shitsucker, so you're prooobably ok.

But, it does come back to that, really. It's all GENUINE abilities. The guy has virtually no flaws. The only people that hate him are cowards and traitors. And if anyone dislikes him, they become one of the above, every time!

>> No.27150138

I think it was a bit of both.
She had a raging fangirl boner for him, no doubt.
But she saw herself as too lowly to ever expect his attention.
When she really was just getting on his nerves but he did not have the nerve to cockblock her career or kill her.
She has proven more capable than he likes to admit, as her later ranks demonstrate.

>> No.27150159

heh, no, sparrowed.

>> No.27150166


>> No.27150186

Cain actually *is* as heroic as the media plays him out to be, but Amberly has a huge thing for damaged guys, so she invents the concept of him being a secret coward coward to make him seem more like a dark, and thus, more appealing to her.
The entire story of Jurgen being a blank is ficticious, it's just done to make Cain seem core cowardly (and to her, more appealing!) than he really is, and also as excuse so that she can have him around all the time for her to fangirl over.

>> No.27150192

He mentions it multiple times, that, despite appearances, he had no illicit relations with her; it would have been improper, after all. The strangeness of his reasoning (given his general attitude toward such things) and the manner in which it is put suggests to me that even his "I wish I had" should not be wholly sufficient to dispel my suspicion. Then again, as noted, that could just be the author's stylistic gaffes conveying a meaning that was not intended.

>> No.27150265

sorry, HSR Teen girl squad refrence.
I have no idea why I put it in.

if you're interested.

>> No.27150274

That's just more of Amberley's jeaously boiling over into her fanfiction, in reality, Amberley is really quite plain, but writes herself up to be this utterly gorgeous babe in her Cain fics.

>> No.27150330

In universe, it might be that he genuinely is scared that Amberly might get her hands on them.

Notice that he's quite explicit with his conquests in his earlier career, and is fairly blase about recounting them, but it all dries up after he meets Amberly.
Would YOU want a pissed off inquisitor finding that shit, especially when you're in your well earned retirement?

>> No.27150332

Cain is notoriously afraid of commitment.
When he is offered a planet for a marriage, he runs for it.
Getting it on with Kasteen would have meant great impact on his future with that regiment.
Which was for years to come.
A great risk.
Also she was getting it on with Broklaw and getting between them could have menat breaking it all apart, or at the very least more paper work.

>> No.27150347

FUCK, I forgot I have that thing due by saturday for /tg/. Now I gotta read this shit again.

>> No.27150356

Wasn't she a lesbian or was that Magot?

>> No.27150369

Although, on the same note he could have been so scared, he stopped fucking around altogether.

>> No.27150387

Sulla is married to glory.
Adrenaline gets her wet.

>> No.27150403

Those were Grifen and Magot.

incidentally, would you think getting fucking the Commissar would count as an unlucky move (that may or may not have certain benefits hidden in)?
Especially when it might attract the ire of an Inquisitor?


>> No.27150415

Grifen and Magot are the lesbians, Sulla's the ex-quartermaster who's always described as looking like a horse and who writes those really bad history snippets.

>> No.27150433

so when will we talk about the best character


>> No.27150467


Give it up, son.

You already lost when you resorted to insults and cursing.

You have failed to provide any proof backing up your claims.

You have failed to provide any logical rationale to back up your claims.

You have demonstrated you do not fully understand physics nor swordplay.

Just give up and log off.

>> No.27150482

Dude's got a bodycount higher than Doombreed.

>> No.27150526

Your intentional hyperbole serves to enrage me.

>> No.27150527

Who the FUCK is Jurden?

>> No.27150538

Ramifications? Certainly. Commitment? Not the same thing. It would have meant (and/or did mean) at the very least a very amenable companion wherever his tour of duty took him.

>> No.27150587

>When he is offered a planet for a marriage, he runs for it.

Didn't he do that because he would have been blammed for desertion?

>> No.27150627

He's Jugen's more successful and more better at everything older brother who owns several fungus plantations on Valhalla

>> No.27150628

>unlucky move

Bitch are you implying some Jinxy/Cain pairing here?

cause if so I want in

>> No.27150660


I, uh, think that guy left a while ago. You're poking a currently dead bear, but it's possible it might come back to life and start shitting everywhere again.

Also, I do wanna point out.

>Indicative of losing on 4chan

The rest applies, however, you're utterly wrong on those.

>> No.27150662

I thought he did that because that meant he'd actually have to spend time around her.
I mean yeah, she's good for fucking, but her personality is abosolutly horrid.

>fucking Cain

>> No.27150667

Unless it wouldn't hold.
In which case he would have poisoned his environment.
Also it would have looked bad to the troopers, if discovered. And if he wants to avoid anything, it's having the troopers turn on him.

That is what he claimed. Maybe he believes that, too.

Do they look suspiciously turnip-like?

>> No.27150688


Ferik Jurgen is Cain's personal aide/bodyguard

he is a Blank who likes to use a meltagun and who saves Cain's life many times in the books

I misspelld before

>> No.27150694


Why the fuck has she got a inquisitor symbol on her if shes a tau?

>> No.27150749

Ohohoho you

>> No.27150752

Blame smut sunday.
It involves polymorphine shenanigans.

>> No.27150757

I know, 'tis but a joke.

>> No.27150763

She certainly had plans he did not approve of, or was informed of in the first place.
But horrid personality?

Ahaha! Fool!

>> No.27150785


Because it's Amberly Vail, Ordo Xenes, and one of the perks of being an Inquisitor is fucking whoever you want wearing whatever you want,

>> No.27150789

Probably was both. He seemed genuinely worried and fearful of the ramifications of deserting and whatnot, as well as not liking the idea of being tied down to her in particular.

And yes okay so now I need Jinxy and Cain smut. I know what to ask for in the Sunday thread.

>> No.27150799


so not only did she morph herself she fashioned tau clothing?

>> No.27150808

>Ordos Xena

>> No.27150810
File: 83 KB, 312x393, 1336864816558.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

>> No.27150827
File: 80 KB, 1279x1023, 1378841913271.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>And yes okay so now I need Jinxy and Cain smut. I know what to ask for in the Sunday thread.

what horrors have I wrought?
ah fuck it, I'll probably be reading it anyway

>> No.27150847

I think the idea is that since Jinxy gets her nickname by attracting bad luck towards herself, that she actually somehow activated his actual chainsword while they were making love. This would likely prove problematic.

>> No.27150886

Knowing her, it probably would decapitate the Slaaneshi culstist that got momentarily distracted taking pictures.

>> No.27150891

Cain admits that he can't stand being near her for extended periods of time, and notes that her self-centered personality really rubs him the wrong way,

Then again, it could just be Amberley's jealousy of other women showing through.

>> No.27150897
File: 4 KB, 90x128, hmmmm.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>If Anon had his way

Commissar Ciaphas Cain novel ends in the first chapter when Cain is killed by Tyranids

Every book released thereafter is completely blank

>> No.27150913

I swooned when Cain said "I prefer blondes" when he shot Emily

So great

>> No.27150924

Actually I mean that she bent his dick while they were fucking, but your idea is actually funnier.

>> No.27150942

So did Amberley when she was writing that line.

>> No.27150970
File: 168 KB, 800x800, 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You may be 'The Hero of the Imperium' Ciaphas, but you are sadly mistaken in your belief.

>> No.27150987

just don't think about what would happen if every other Anon had their way.

He'd probably end up having a fuck off with Slaanesh, all the while receiving a bro fist from the Emperor (I am aware of how this may be read the wrong way) who says "Give 'em one for me, Cai!"

>> No.27151003

>implying the Emperor doesn't have daily fuck sessions with Slaanesh

>> No.27151037

Emperor only knows how she reacted to scene with the Chaos witch impersonating her.

>> No.27151082

>implying Slaanesh isn't being slowly bent out of its own Chaos domain and into the service of Mankind by daily consensual intercourse-ings in the missionary position out in the warp, courtesy of the Emperor

>> No.27151096

That prince is a bottom

>> No.27151110

Probably called Cain up for a date

>> No.27151112
File: 208 KB, 729x800, 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.27151123

>implying the Emperor isn't taking Slaanesh on dates, watching stars together, having fine meals of terran steak and alcohol, and cuddling.

>> No.27151148

I fucking knew he wasn't really dead.

>> No.27151160

>implying that that wasn't what the big holdup was and that SHE isn't now being bred in the darkest depths of the warp (lights off) in the missionary position by the Emperor in the culmination of his not-so-hostile 'takeover'

>> No.27151192

>implying that Khorne and Tzeentch aren't also waifus and the Warp is the Emperor's personal harem quest.

>> No.27151246
File: 227 KB, 766x917, 1330805791750.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Well, I guess we know why he isn't coming back, now don't we?

>> No.27151248

>the latest black crusade ,in your dark names, has been a glorious success!
>anyone there?
>ok, I'm coming in anWHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK?!?!?!

>> No.27151263
File: 137 KB, 565x622, 1330805701869.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.27151267

Why the fuck isn't this a game? Holy shit, we just opened up a whole new market for GW.

>> No.27151421

>ITT: 40k cements itself in the annals of Sonic and Pokemon as autism bait
ya'll need to settle down, the froth from the nerdrage is ankle-deep

>> No.27151468

you sure you're in the right thread, champ?
There was that one twat, but he ran away with his tail between his legs

>> No.27151498

Welp, I know what I want for Sunday Smut Thread.

>> No.27151683

I was horrified at first because I thought she was talking about her ass overflowing.

>> No.27151852


>> No.27152149

>Abbadon's arms fall off in shock

>> No.27153275

brilliant, and she is now pregnant with Ynead who was kinda hijacked by from the Eldar and now being forged from Slaanesh's eldar souls

>> No.27156434

He's got a couple cybernetic fingers.

>> No.27156665

and if you did you would understand all things AM related lack those.

>> No.27156721


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