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[ERROR] No.27060880 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Storytime /tg/, I shall tell you about my greatest Kill in 40k.

After I am done, Storytime General Thread.
>Be playing at Chicago Battle Bunker during 5th ed.
>Sees people walking in with tons of Tanks
>Goes over to one of the Employees "Hey, what's going on?"
>Employee: "Guys are organizing a huge Apocalypse Battle, you want in?"
>fuckyeah.jpg
>8 v 8, about 40k points per side.
>Get in, Set up my brand-new Shadowsword I bought last week.
>Got 5k Marines and 1k Guard myself
>Opposing side has 3 Warhound Titans
>Check out the Titans
>Ohfuckno.jpg
>PRETTY MARINE TITAN!
>Completely Pink, adorned with everything from Flowers to pictures.
>Feel the Rage of Fuklaw filling me up, shuddering in anger.
>Teammates ask me what's wrong.
>Me-"Nothing, but one request: You guys deal with the other Titans, but that Pink Bastard's mine."
>They all nod, being total bros and understanding the pure rage.
>We win Initative
>The Battle begins
>Turn my Shadowsword (Since named Invigulius) upon the Pretty Marine Titan.
>Unleash Hell
>Direct Hit, brought down all Void Shields.
>Killed tons of Pretty Marines at the Titans feet.
>Our Turn ends
Cont.
Pic Related, it's the table we played at, there was more terrain on it when we did though.

>> No.27060967

>Their turn begins
>Pretty Titan doesn't manage to get any Void Shields back
>It turns its guns upon me
>Ohfuck.jpg
>Everything MISSES or doesn't do damage.
>Weaboo neckbeard who owns the Titan stares at me
>Smirk, slide my thumb across my neck, then make the sign of the Aquila.
>Suddenly, The titan to its right turns its guns upon me as well
>DaFuq.jpg
>Weaboo neckbeard got one of his buddies to take out the shadowsword.
>Hit
>Penetrate
>Track Damage
>ohthankgod.jpg
>Weaboo stares daggers at his buddy
>Our Turn rolls around
>The Invigulius opens fire at the Pretty Titan
>Hit
>Penetrate
>Explosive Reaction
>Explosive Reaction
Entire team crowds around me as I pray to the Emperah for assistance.
>Roll a 6
>Entire team begins clapping and laughing.
>Weaboo neckbeard stares dumbfounded
Cont.

>> No.27061156

>>27060967
Cont.
>Neckbeard rants about how my dice are loaded, ect.
>I take some of his dice to prove it's not.
>Prepare to roll on Apocalypse damage charts
>Apocalyptic Explosion
>Entire table goes quiet
>Roll for the size of the blast
>ALL SIXES.
>the Entire table is silent as everyone realizes that I'm sending out a 18" Strength 10 Ap 1 Blast in the heart of the enemy forces
>Everything close to that Titan gets annihilated
>Weaboo Neckbeard's jaw drops as his entire force plus a good amount of other players' gets annihilated.
>Entire Team starts hollerin and hooting
>He goes full Neckbeard Rage, calls me a faggot and a bastard
>Cooly Reply "hey, it's got a Commissarial Crew, turns out it's got Fuklaw in it."
>Neckbeard pauses, realizing what I said
>Completely rages, storms out of the store
>Never returns

And that /tg/, is how I got my first Titan Kill. That ring still sits as the only one around the barrel of its Volcano Cannon, a testament to that day. It has racked up 2 more Titan Kills since that day, but I've made those go only on a Tabbard I made on the side to tally kills.

So, 40k Storytime thread. I know you got some good ones, let's hear 'em.

>> No.27061231

TFW I don't have any 40k stories :<

>> No.27061286

in 4th edition 40k I once killed Eldrad in one round of combat with 4 tactical marines
It was the 4th game of 40k I had ever played and the 1st apoc game I had ever played
That player did not show his face for about a month

>> No.27061295

>>27061286
toplel

>> No.27061357

>>27060880

I'm just getting started on the hobby, not sure what I'll be playing

So far I've ordered
>dark vengeance: 550ish CSM and 550ish DA
>around 800 points of orks
>bidding on a Necron battleforce

Dark Eldar seem the most fun to me but they are hard to find for a good price or they are finecast.

>> No.27061404

What's it like to be so autistic it makes youinvent stories about your autism?

>> No.27061417

I've played all of 2 games of 40k, neither of which I had won, but I had a pretty good moment of awesome in the second one.

>friend teaching me how to play
>he's playing 'Nids, I'm playing his grilfriend's (an ex of mine) Daemons
>start goes smoothly, as my force of Khornate Daemons warp in on target
>wrap up in melee with a couple groups of Genestealers
>couple turns in, my Pink Horrors, the elite-ish Horror and Flaming Chariot warp in
>once more, on point, and right behind the cover of a building terrain
>They somehow have LoS on his HQ Nid (forgot what model, but it had that spore cloud that buffs his 'Nids while debuffing my stuff), but it can't see them
>Firing Round, have elite Horror roll for Warp Dickery. Get a 6 on Psyker ability and easily pass Psyker test.
>mfw, in my head, the huge fucking spore guy is watching a giant fucking blue fireball of chaos roar from around the corner of a building before slamming into its face and completely destroying it
>rest of the game... not so good
>guy has the psyker 'Nid as a backup HQ
>his second group of genestealers appears behind my my group
>starts to route my Horrors as they retaliate with moving and blasting with Psyker abilities
>destroys my Chariot with some venomblaster thing from another big 'Nid

Overall, still fun.

>> No.27061454

>>27061404
And what makes you think that my story is false?

>> No.27061485

>>27061474
Don't even get me started on the Hello Kitty SM Army that inhabits that store as well, some people be stylin' too much.

>> No.27061514

>Go to Games Workshop
>Closed for lunch
>At 3pm

That's my 40k story.

>> No.27061527

>>27061485

I deleted my post. Didn't read your whole story. Called you a hater until the PM owner started hatin' himself. That ain't cool. Still, cool kill.

I remember the first time I killed a daemon prince back in 5th ed. Lost that game, but thought I was hot shit for that.

>> No.27061581

>>27061514
Never understood why some stores did that.
>>27061527
No problem man, and good kill. What'd you kill it with?

>> No.27061607

>>27061581

A barrage of lascannon shots from 4 devastators. I ran BA and all my CC units were tied up.

>> No.27061627

>>27061607
Nice, those bastards are hardy if the guy plays them right. Thankfully the one I fought took a Volcano Cannon to the face.

>> No.27061661

The best I've got is the time I punched a Lord of Skulls to death with an Ork Warboss, and when Wazdakka ripped his way out of the warp after being hit by a daemonshell.

>> No.27061687

>>27061661
I wanna hear about the Wazdakka story, please elaborate.

>> No.27061760

>>27061687
Ah, well, technically he didn't, but that's what I like to interpret it as.
Basically, it was at a GW store back when Apocalypse 6th Ed was released; they were doing a big game to promo it and I was one of the players controlling the Orks.
Wazdakka and his Nob Biker squad were hit by a Strength D daemon shell and, according to the manager, killed; however, he then realized that the rules for Strength D weapons had changed, and that Wazdakka and one Biker were still alive. Since we had to put them back on the table, I imagined it to represent them punching their way out of the warp through sheer force of Waaagh!.

>> No.27061818

Back in 4th edition, my Tau vs my buddy's Necrons. We played each other a lot since I had terrain and he had a table of appropriate size (turns out half a ping pong table is great for 40k). Since we faced each other so often he tailored his list against me while I went more balanced (which resulted in me winning a local tournament and him doing poorly). His strategy against me was a squad of Immortals accompanied by a Necron Lord with a... Veil of Time? I can't remember the war gear but it let his lord and accompanying squad deep strike anywhere. He'd drop his immortals off near my troops and then just shred them.

One game he made the mistake of putting his Necron Lord out front of his army. In 4th edition you had to make a morale check to shoot past anything other than the closest target, so this was a big fucking mistake. I get first turn, and the first shot fired in my shooting phase is my Hammerhead's railgun, solid round, into his Lord. Hit. Wound. Fails his invulnerable save. The Lord becomes a smear. My friend, a sore loser, simply walks away from the table conceding the match and leaves me to clean up the terrain.

So worth it.

>> No.27061904

>>27061818
Bravo to you good sir, anyone who can made a 4th ed 'Cron ragequit is a man of good character in my book.

>> No.27061927

>>27061357
>550 DA
It's a lot more than that buddy.
And IIRC only about 400 pts chaos.

>> No.27061952

>Big Apoc game
>Bring out my Marines
>Got a load of Terminator squads marching towards the Chaos filth
>Chaos Lord runs straight at us
>Rips my first 5man squad Terminators apart with that fucking mace
>Rush my Land Raider to it, drop my Captain
>Challenge it
>It's my dainty little Captain armed with only a Power Fist and an Iron Halo
>He beats the T6 Chaos lord who had 3 boons
I still use that little guy now.

>> No.27061980

>>27061952
You always gotta love when the big bad Chaos Lord just pulls a Failbaddon.

>> No.27061988

Well it wasn't hugely spectacular, but it was pretty funny.
>5th ed
>GK vs Eldar, tau, nids (GK guy had lots of dudes, we were relatively new)
>GK have one of each assassin (we went with fuck it this will be fun)
>turn 1, wraithlord snipes vindicare w/ BL
>mid game
>wraithlord BLs stormraven out of the sky
>Callidus(?) assassin pops out of my dire avengers late game to deny objective, fails to kill any of them (fuck yeah shimmershield)
>Wraithlord which was standing next to them turns around
>punches callidus
That was I like that wraithlord.

>> No.27062007

>>27061818
If he ragequit after losing his Lord and nothing else, the rest of his army must have absolutely sucked balls. Or he's just a little pussy. Either way, he deserves to lose.

>> No.27062022

>>27061581
>>27061514
Stores that are small enough to be for a single employe only. Working for gw gives you 45minutes pause time each day. A one man store is of course closed when the dude has to eat, take a piss etc.

Of course he could do that with customers inside but who watches at the wares/store?

Mind that some do their needs while customers are there. Its always a matter of trust and that depends on the person

>> No.27062028

>>27061417

>girl plays Daemons

How appropriate and fitting

>> No.27062056

>>27061952
For ages in 5th i used an autarch with power weapon and mandiblasters, becuase it a 1500 vs 500 (me) thing he tore apart half the enemy army. Later he killed 4 sanguinary guard in one swipe. that was pretty cool.

>> No.27062092

>>27061927

It's due to arrive in a couple of days and since they're my first armies, I have absolutely no idea how many points are good or bad. Kind of weird though, I figured both sides would be sort of balanced. I guess termies are very expensive.

Thanks for the info!

>> No.27062099

I once had half a squad of IG Vets kill three GK Termies in close combat.

This other time I had a Dark Apostle survive five rounds worth of combat against two squads of GK (PAGK and TGK)

>> No.27062153

>>27062099

Wow, that's an insane amount of bad rolling

My intention is to do battles, write down what happens when and then write a bit of fanfic about what happened

>> No.27062220

>>27062153
Well, the DA did have MoT, to be fair.

>> No.27062372

>>27062220

What does that make his save? No one I've seen actually has a dark apostle in his forces

>> No.27062490

>first game against eldar (before the new codex)
>oh hey, they got a dreadnought looking thing
>nah, it's actually a T8 MC
>dudewat
>one of my manticores spends all 4 of its shots trying to down it, to no avail
>it gets up in my face
>back it up 12", snap-fire the heavy bolter
>3 6s to hit
>3 6s to wound
>eldar player fails all 3 of his 3+ saves

>playing against Tau
>Guardsman Marbo in reserves
>deep strike next to a crisis suit team
>throws his detpack, it scatters over himself as well as the full crisis suit team
>kills everyone under the blast
>look at my opponent, shrug, "kill point denial" (this turns out to not actually be true, but it was funny when it happened)

>game against Tau
>S5,AP5,Ignores cover because fuck you shooting everywhere, and a farsight bomb wipes a 30 man platoon to the last man, one plucky sergeant with a power sword
>he rolls double 1s on his leadership
>Farsight manages to jetpack just over my aegis defence line
>not far enough
>sarge survives some ridiculous number of suits' overwatch and immediately challenges Farsight
>Farsight's pussy ass misses all his attacks
>tfw sergeant mcnobody beats farsight to death

Yeah, that heavy bolter now has a purity seal and that sergeant is now my Company Commander.

>> No.27062579

>first game in 40k
>my tau vs my friend's csm
>he deepstrikes an obliterator into my pathfinders
>he kills half of them on the first round
>pathfinders strike back
>3 successful hits
>he rolls
>1, 1, 1
>FUCK
>my pathfinders melee'd his obliterator to death

>> No.27062622

my greatest kill was actually my opponents

>playing GK
>other guy IG
>GKGM desides to miss his deepstrike and fly into IG parade in townsquare of city.
>near 200 lasgun shots at him
>dies by 3 wounds overkill

I never saw someone freak out so much over their own kill. It was hilarious.

>> No.27063074

>>27062622

Hahaha oh wow

>> No.27064513

>Playing against a mechanized vet IG as GK
>He had his Creed HQ babysit a basilisk way behind his main force
>I summon my flyer transport to the field with my librarian
>Go straight past his force, past his HQ and drop the 10-man combat Interceptor squad right in between his basilisk and HQ
>That fucking look on his face when they rammed their armoured dicks so far up their asses that they could be crowned the kings of England if it still existed

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