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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.26904839 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

You open your mouth to answer him, but the weirdest thing happens.
Everything vanishes. Everything – Kurt, the girls, the school – all you can see is blackness.

Then…stars. So many stars.


The voice is less a sound than it is a physical presence. Nothing in front of you, so you turn around.

Looking back on this, it’s a miracle you survived this anywhere near intact, much less in full-health. There are three…well, humanoids, surely. On the right as a practical tower of robes topped by a bulbous head. On the left is a golden man sitting on a throne, with what seems to be three different faces, two hidden under a cloth.
And in the middle is a man so massive you’re not sure you can crane your neck far enough to see his face.





“The boy does not understand.”


“A good time?”



>> No.26904864

I'm fucking laughing here, great job OP.
This will be VERY fun.

>> No.26904878


>> No.26904879

i am actually laughing

>> No.26904888



>Yes, sir, you may chaperone our date
>No, thank you, sir

>> No.26904905


>> No.26904908

>Do you really want to have you spoil your daughter's only prom in forever?
>Not to mention if you come anywhere close to the planet we're going to have a billion and one heroes trying to kill you.

>> No.26904913

>[X] yes sir, you may chaperone our date
I don't think it's wise to tell him no.

>> No.26904914

Of course. Ask him to buy us some winecoolers.

>> No.26904922

oh god this is the worst choice

just pretend we dont understand the question and make noncommittal grunting noises

>> No.26904932


As pathetic mortals, we can't talk him out of it.

Where's Silver-tudey dark and broody when you need him?

>> No.26904933


>> No.26904939

>Yes, sir, you may chaperone our date

yeah lets not piss of the god of EVERYTHING (he could probably force us to whatever he wants anyways)

>> No.26904942

>No thank you sir
You'd have every Hero organization on your ass before you could escort her out of the car sir.

>> No.26904943

>[X] yes sir, you may chaperone our date
I don't even think this should be an option...

>> No.26904953

Lets ask him this.
If he can get past all the heroes and whatnot and not rape kill destroy the planet, then we agree.

>> No.26904960

I second this.

>> No.26904961

Going with these two smart men.
We need to fuck Galacta, and that's not happening with Galactus around.

>> No.26904963

But imagine the After Party Get Together at Galactus' Worldship! IMAGINE ALL THE HUGE FURNITURE!

>> No.26904967

That is a different celestial. I'm pretty sure the one talking is Galactus the world eater.

>> No.26904982

This is the best option.
But of course, if he insists then we won't hold him back.

>> No.26904985

> What's in it for me?

>> No.26904994


>> No.26904999


>> No.26905004

i expect the answer to this is going to be YOU GET TO KEEP LIVING.

>> No.26905005

ITT: galactus's bitch quest.

>> No.26905072

Which cosmic entity hates humanity the least?
Can we try and convince Death we'll work on finding a way to kill Deadpool to give her some of htat hot lovin' if she makes sure Galactus doesn't squash us?

>> No.26905073

and later can we drop by doctor doom's for a light brunch?

>> No.26905093

Why avoid the crushing
Why not take deadpool's curse for our own
everybody wins
well except us as we'd be pancake man

>> No.26905110

She'd make us into an undead pancake.

>> No.26905115

Yes, because taking Deadpool's place as Thanos's NTR is a GOOD IDEA.

>> No.26905130

Uatu the Probably-Fired-From-The-Watchers is a total bro. He's violated his oath like 400 times to protect humanity.

>> No.26905139

Oh my god this is the best comic idea ever
undead pancake man, the hero
Galacta, the girl
Galactus, the father
together they fight crime and destroy planets

>> No.26905141



“Wh-what’s – ahem – what’s in it for me? Uh, sir?”


“No, sir, not at all, um…what I meant to say was, humans don’t exactly have the best of relationships with you, so…”

“The boy is concerned for the fate of his planet. An admirable sentiment.”

“But will it matter? Let’s see”



“Oh no…”


Your body arches in sudden, abject, absolute pain. You can feel something entering you, infusing you with power.



Somehow, you find the strength to stand, and to speak: “What shall I call you, sir?”



You’re back in school, but everything’s horizontal. Huh. Oh, that’s the carpet. You’re on the floor.

Roll 1d20 to not pass out, DC 16

>> No.26905151

it is

>> No.26905153

Rolled 19


>> No.26905163

Rolled 11



>> No.26905167

Rolled 9

Have... have we just been gifted with the Power Cosmic?

>> No.26905168

Rolled 2


>> No.26905173

Rolled 2

oh lordy

>> No.26905181

Well there we go.
So, we Herald now.

>> No.26905186

>DC 16
>rolled 19

>> No.26905195

Is it just me, or is Galactus kind of easy with that Power Cosmic? I'm beginning to think it's his idea of a joke to gift random Metahumans with the power cosmic. Hell, he made BETA RAY BILL his Herald once. AKA Thorse.

>> No.26905200

It's not that big a deal, there's like a million heralds.

>> No.26905203

You better not be talking shit about Beta Bro Bill.

>> No.26905219

Are you playing that Beta Ray Bill was not the best herald?

...Also, Galactus is lonely.
He probably wants more friends - but Death and Eternity are assholes, and Oblivion and Infinity aren't much better.
And Thanatos is a pain in the ass, let's not even talk about Utau and his creepy habit of looking at everything...and the living tribunal just can never take a day off to have a drink.

>> No.26905228

To be fair, Beta Ray Bill has come the closest to killing Galactus.

>> No.26905234

He eats to bury his sorrow

>> No.26905258

He's made friends with Deadpool and Squirrel Girl.

>> No.26905259

It really is quite tragic.

>> No.26905312

Maybe we'll be able to turn his life around

>> No.26905318

Guys... we have a bit of a problem.

Galacta? She's pregnant.

>> No.26905334

How do you know?

>> No.26905341

Of course Beta Ray Bill is the best herald! I'm just saying that it might not be a great idea to give a being who is already a god, and 100% committed to the concept of absolute good, EVEN MORE POWER when the manner in which Galactus exists REQUIRES HIM TO EAT PLANETS FULL OF LIVING BEINGS.

>> No.26905344

Cos I read the comicbooks

>> No.26905349

You push yourself up. It’s amazing how easy it is. You’re not even in pain anymore. But your hands. Your hands. They look like they’re covered in blue meta-
Woah, that’s new.
Everybody’s staring at you. Well, you have been…um…
You can actually feel his eyes rolling on that one.
So, yeah, Power Cosmic, herald of Galactus, colleagues of the Silver Surfer. That’s cool.
And oh shit, you’re naked. On instinct, you turn invisible. Now even Kurt gasps, wondering where you’ve gone. Kurt sounds quite worried.

Where DO you go?

>your dorm room
>nearest men’s restroom
>nearest classroom

>> No.26905356


>> No.26905361

>not saying, "I checked"

>> No.26905364

Heyyy, soooo... are we our own chaperone? Will this be a prom filled with constant internal conflict?

>> No.26905369

Wiki'd it. Utau is their number one editor three years running.

>> No.26905379

We'll assume this is Pre-That event.
Not to worry anyway, after this She will be pregnant.

>> No.26905383

Dorm room
Maximum overpanic mode.
Is this what happens when we leave the bedroom?

>> No.26905408

Fly over to Avengers and ask them how to block Galactus' power over us.

>> No.26905423


>> No.26905426

We gotta manage to bang Galacta to fulfill her future pregnancy

>> No.26905428


>> No.26905468

>your dorm room

"Technical problem, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back!"

>> No.26905472

Under EVERY circumstance right?

>> No.26905476

Did not know the Tribunal was such a staunch follower of the bro code.

>> No.26905484

It's shit like this that give us troll archive descriptions

>> No.26905487

Dorm room
Time to repay our dick ass roomate for pissing in our cereal

>> No.26905506



>> No.26905602

How is Galactus going to react when he observes us second basin' it with his fine daughter?

>> No.26905617

We're going to have to get Jeanne or someone to shield us.
Either that or Galacta will take things into her own hands at that point.

>> No.26905623

We're invisible, he won't see.

>> No.26905632


>> No.26905634

This is a good question.
Can our invisibility make us invisible from his observation too?

>> No.26905644

>How is Galactus going to react when he observes us second basin' it with his fine daughter?


>> No.26905653

>Galacta takes it a step further

"Help meeeee!"

>> No.26905659

Why are you grasping my daughter's chest

>> No.26905676


>> No.26905678

lost my shit

>> No.26905714

"Technical problem, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back!" God, you wish you could be this witty while visible. You manage to slip down the hall, up the stairs, and –
“Hey, watch where you’re going, kid” growls a gravelly voice from behind a couple crates of beer.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Logan, I just –“
He lowers the crates and looks around. “Look, I can still smell you, Anon, might as well – huh. That’s odd.” He starts sniffing the air, and, if his expression is anything to go by, in vain.
What’s he talking about?
“Wait a minute, you can’t smell me.”
“But I can still hear you, kid. You come up with a new power?”
“Uh, I think so, sir.”
Mr. Logan grins. “Well, good for you, Anon.”
“Thanks, Mr. Logan.”

>> No.26905746

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this is the worst place we can BE

>> No.26905759


>> No.26905793


>> No.26905794

>Wanting to bone Galacta

I can see a hundred ways how this could go very wrong, very fast.

And yet, I'm gonna sit here, and observe just like every millenia for shits and giggles.

>> No.26905807


>> No.26905816


>> No.26905852

Give us tips and be our wingman?

>> No.26905862



>> No.26905863

When are we going to start speaking in Kirby-esque soliloquies about the POWER COSMIC and the AWESOME POWER it grants the MERE MAN?
For when granted this GREAT STRENGTH, it TRANSFORMED a lowly mutant nerd into a being of EXTREME MIGHT.

>> No.26905866

I'd tap that cosmic ass.

>> No.26905885

Back in your room, you turn visible and manage to get a look at yourself in the mirror. It seems you’re not quite naked – the blue nanites that now cover your body offer excellent modesty.
And speaking of your body: Damn. You definitely were not this cut five minutes ago. Hell, you’ve never looked this good.
More importantly, Mr. Galactus, what’s up with Mr. Logan not being able to smell me?
Elaborate, please.
Just one more sense? That’s it?
Well, that’s logical, I guess.
Well, what now?

>Stay here, call friend from home
>sneak over to infirmiry, ask Dr. McCoy for a CAT scan
>talk to Professor Xavier

>> No.26905888

this could work
just lets not have cyclops find out about this

>> No.26905890

would fuck as long as she keeps the helmet on.

>> No.26905892

>we are an Xman under wolverines school
>as galactus's pet minion to take his daughter to the prom

>> No.26905895 [DELETED] 

>I can see a hundred ways how this could go very wrong, very fast.

The earth is pretty much fucked since its the center of the universe in the Marvel world.

Might as well make it worth our while.

Also, look at pic and tell me you wouldn't think twice about tapping that?

>> No.26905899

>talk to Professor Xavier

>> No.26905905

>>talk to Professor Xavier

>> No.26905910

talk to professor Xavier.

>> No.26905925

>Stay here, call friend from home

I don't think we trust many people at the school just yet.

Like them, yes, we do, but not trust with our new galactic powers.

>> No.26905926

>sneak over to infirmiry, ask Dr. McCoy for a CAT scan
I forget, how bro tier is Hank?

>> No.26905927

wait Professor X hasn't been brained by cyclops let in this universe
Well lets talk to him while he's still alive

>> No.26905937


He might give us another mutation! And/or turn us into a cat-faced blue man like himself.

>> No.26905939

what the fuck did I just find.

>> No.26905942

So much this

>> No.26905955

He is a bro so long as your method is FOR SCIENCE.

You're gonna have to convince him that boning the personification of planet death's daughter is for the benefit of mankind.

>> No.26905960


>> No.26905976

Well that's pretty easy; it's more or less the quickest way to pacify the guy.

>> No.26906001


Doesn't even really need to benefit mankind.
Could just be to figure out what would happen.

Wait. Why didn't we go to Dr. Nemesis?
He's the best mad scientist ever.
He'll put his science in us!

>> No.26906005

There are probably 3 people in the MARVEL universe you can talk to if its Galactus-related.

Mr. Fantastic, who happens to be the biggest douchebag in a good guy costume.

Deadpool who would probably be the best wingman you've got, barring the remote chance he'd ufck you over for a chance at Galacta himself.

Squirrel Girl, who would chastise you for potentially flirting with a technically 7 year old girl.

>> No.26906015

That's not how she reproduces, unless our testes are infested with intergalactic tapeworms.

>> No.26906030


Well, they are infused with Power Cosmic.
So our seed might manifest in that way.

>> No.26906031

Galactus did just turn us into a Herald.

>> No.26906036


>> No.26906038

then squirrel girl
simply because seeing them meet would be priceless
Mr fantastic
We'll deal with him when we inevitably turn evil for a year or two

>> No.26906056

>when we inevitably turn evil for a year or two

Oh god. We've been touched by cosmic power.
We're all but guarunteed to become on of Apocalypse's Horsemen.

>> No.26906059

>Mr. Fantastic, who happens to be the biggest douchebag in a good guy costume.

And the scariest villain in the Ultimates Universe who could easily fuck with Galactus.

>> No.26906065

She was going to try and use The Ultimate Nullifier to cut out important bits of her anatomy to try and end her Cosmic Hunger. Galactus stopped her.

>> No.26906073 [DELETED] 


>> No.26906089

Well at least this is more exciting than what our future looked like before
a side character to be killed off
well we aren't in the ultimate universe
unless logan is a ghost

>> No.26906090


Until the writers changed and they came up with an excuse to have him lose.
Which was actually impossible considering the steps taken during the build up TO becoming a villain.
But whatever. Ultimate is probably going to die soon anyway. No more Whore!Sue.

>> No.26906103

Who hasn't turned evil in Marvel? Besides Deadpool, who is already evil, but in a humorous and statisticially beneficial manner.

But we should totally find Logan and ask him for tips. Either that or find Thor and ask him for tips. Or find Beta Ray Bill and ask him for tips.

We've got the Power Cosmic, we can just find out where he is and zoom there at Warp Factor Fuck You.

>> No.26906121

Not that, this thread.

Though now I need to know more about THAT, too.

>> No.26906140

Never got into Ultimates because Spiderman apparently became a whiny bitch, and Captain America was something less than the Mortal Embodiment of Good. Seriously, fuck with anyone's morality, turn Lobo good, make Deadpool a calm and collected assassin, give the Silver Surfer tits, but don't EVER fuck with the embodiment of What America Should Be.

>> No.26906145

It’s probably for the best that you talk to Professor Xavier. He deals with cosmic stuff all the time, right? Better put on some clothes, first.

Fortunately, the professor is in his office. You let yourself in and approach his desk.
“Hello, young man. I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you before. Charles Xavier, it’s a pleasure to – “
“Sir,” you interrupt, “sorry, but you have met me. It’s me, Anon.”
Xavier looks you straight in the face, clearly puzzled. “Well, Mr. Anon, I don’t remember you being blue. If you’ve undergone a subsequent mutation, Dr. McCoy would be the man to speak to.”
“No, that’s not it,” you say. “It’s, um, in here.” You gesture to your head.
“A mental problem?” Xavier leans back in wheelchair.
“Yes, sir. I’ve been…hearing voices, I guess.”
"I'm afraid you'll have to be more clear, Anon."
>Ask him to read your mind
>just straight-up tell him

>> No.26906149

He's gonna laugh and tell you to bring protection (By protection, he's talking about the ultimate nullifier)

>Either that or find Thor and ask him for tips
he's going to treat you to a beer in Asgard

>Beta Ray Bill
He's going to throw stormchaser at you.

>> No.26906157

we shouldn't reveal our powers just let

>> No.26906164

>>Ask him to read your mind
And picture the whole fucked-up scene in it.

>> No.26906165

We're a herald of Galactus, aren't we already a horseman of the apocalypse?

>> No.26906173

>If you're reading my mind, you're going to be connected to Galactus sir.
>That's the situation.

>> No.26906174

>Ask him to read your mind
I'm not sure he'd believe us otherwise.

>> No.26906177

>just straight-up tell him

"Galactus wants me to take his daughter to the prom"

>> No.26906179

>>just straight-up tell him
what if he finds us in his mind I mean this thread

>> No.26906184

It was in her miniseries. She grew increasingly despairing about how her Hunger was driving her ever closer to hurting those she cared about, and no amount of Life could satisfy it.

>> No.26906188


Not of "the" apocalypse. Apocalypse. En Sabbah Nur. The "first" mutant.
Fish-lips McFancytalk.

>> No.26906189



>> No.26906191

This seems like the best option. Brief, concise, to the point, and gives him all the data he needs and none of the data he doesn't.

>> No.26906196

>>Ask him to read your mind
Because this can't possibly go wrong.
Galactus, booming straight into the head of Prof X.

>> No.26906201

Well lets say a big bad evil gay wants you to.....date his daughter
what would you do in this sittuation
I know I am better of asking people like logan or even that mad man wade wilson
But I fear if I do I may fuck the world to a destiny of destruction

>> No.26906202

Spider-Man was always a whiny bitch.

>> No.26906214

>Spiderman apparently became a whiny bitch
Well, he's dead and replaced by a black dude.

>Captain America was something less than the Mortal Embodiment of Good
Its a constant grey morality debate of 'Should this paladin fall' threads on /tg/

>> No.26906215

"Galactus wants me to, in His own words, "show his daughter a good time.""

"This is very odd."

>> No.26906221

Why would Beta Ray Bill throw the Hammer of One-Hit-Kill at us for asking for help? He's BEEN the Herald of Galactus, so it can't be that.
>Ask him to read your mind
>"Let's see what's in her- GALACTUS?"

>> No.26906230


>> No.26906239

Just straight-up tell him.
Him reading your mind and finding Galactus there might cause him to leap to conclusions.

>> No.26906242


Next reboot, I want laForge to play Cyclops.
We've seen a black Civil War veteran Cyclops when Dazzler went on her awesome adventure with gay Wolverine and kid Nightcrawler.
Bring that guy in.

>> No.26906250

But he's Captain America! He's not Superman, who goes crazy or turns evil every other week, or throws Lois out airlocks, or gets Lois sodomized by a robot, or ditches Lois in an endless desert. He's CAPTAIN AMERICA. HE PUNCHED ALL OF SHIELD UNTIL THEY STOPPED BEING DICKS.

>> No.26906258


If you were a DM, this is already cause for alarm.

>> No.26906272

Maybe if it didn't have tits.

>> No.26906277

What was THAT continuity? Is Dazzler an Even Worse version of Jubilee?

Also, Vampire Jubilee is Best Jubilee.

Her powers may be One-Hundred-Percent Useless, but she's a fun kid. And also Most Adorable X-Woman.

>> No.26906281

To... herald her coming?

>> No.26906293

...That would be Galactus. You can't tap Galactus. Only the Ultimate Nullifier can. Why do you think he cares so much about it?

>> No.26906305

To.... herald her coming?

>> No.26906311


>> No.26906318

He got better after Death of Peter Parker.
He stopped being a dick and more like a team dad.

Hence why he ended being elected president for some reason...

I don't really follow MARVEL that well since it gives me an aneurysm.

>> No.26906330

I don't into comics enough to know anything about Galactus other than that dude eats planets. And apparently has a daughter. That lacks DFC.

>> No.26906346

But making ultimate Cap worse makes you appreciate 616 Cap even more and makes him more 'unique'

>> No.26906349


Dazzler is a different Jubilee.
Jubilee used to be able to create a micro-explosion anywhere and potentially kill someone depending on where it happened.
Dazzler turns sound (her songs) into solid-light. So she can hum a battle tune and create a sword and shield of 80's Glam Rock.

The series was X-Treme X-Men. It was very campy, and knew it. And all but two of the cast were from different universes.
The only two who were from the same world were the couple Hercules and Howlett. An Olympian and his hirsute cowboy sheriff boyfriend.

>> No.26906362

I know that he's the Last Survivor Of A Dead Universe. Also, he fucked Gaia, the Spirit of Creation.

>> No.26906363

Read mind is the consensus.

>> No.26906386

Basically? The universe from before? Yeah, that made love to this one guy called Galen and turned him into a baby. That baby then became Galactus. Basically, he's creation itself.

>> No.26906410

Indeed. Apparently when the End of Time is due to occur, Galactus removes his helmet and triggers a Big Bang.

Presumably involving the Last Survivor of THAT universe.

>> No.26906460

I wouldn't want to be at the business end of Galactus' big bang

>> No.26906472

Galactus isn't the God of Everything.

He's just the principle of entropy. Much simpler setup. The last thing that will fail in the universe will be Lady Death: for though she is the end of all things, Galactus is a product of greater powers at the dawn of time.

He is not dead that shall eternal lie; and with strange aeons, even death shall die.

Unto Galactus it is given: to end the universe, and all within it, that it might begin anew.

Basically he's Parker from Alpha Protocol. Only, y'know. Instead of the different incarnations of a spy agency it's the universe.

>> No.26906485

Tell Him
Galactus wants me to give his daughter the D

>> No.26906502

Does that mean Galacta dies?

>> No.26906510

“Okay, so let’s say I have this friend…”
That eyebrow could not arch harder.
“And let’s say my friend was asked by a…friend of the family to take his daughter to our prom in a month.”
Oh wow, it really can.
“But I – I mean, he, doesn’t even know this girl! And things could be really bad if she doesn’t have a good time.”
The professor leans forward now, his elbows on the surface of the desk. “What, exactly, are you saying to me?”
A pregnant pause.
“A-anon, would you like me to read your mind?”
“Sure, I mean, yes, sir.”
As he reaches up to massage his temples, you can feel a new presence in your mind, like a pressure behind your eyes. For a few minutes, you sit there, watching Xavier’s face go through a dozen different expressions, each one more incredulous than the last. Then, the pressure eases up, then disappears. Xavier seems exhausted – he almost slumps into his chair.
“Young man, I think it best if you would go back to your room, now”.


>> No.26906520

galactus sir I thought the end of all things was scheduled for, y'know.

a time other than fifteen minutes after you handed us the power cosmic

this cannot possibly end well

did Uatu put you up to this

>> No.26906531

"Now that I don't mind it sir, I'm just rather worried about the fate of the solar system and whatnot."

>> No.26906540

>A pregnant pause.

>> No.26906554


>> No.26906556

Well time to punch our dick face roomate in the dick

>> No.26906562

>sword and shield made of 80's glam rock


>> No.26906573

>thread 2 archived
Wow, someone really hates us

>> No.26906575

time to jerk off

>> No.26906588

Does that mean thread over?
If so, when next thread?

>> No.26906590


A long, extending pause in conversation to build up drama and suspense.

In this case, Wheely D blinks a few times, shocked at what is taking place, and dreading going further while knowing he must.

>> No.26906591

Then who represents Thorton? All of the Celestials put together? Infinity? The Golden Spider?

>> No.26906614

But we shall keep on keeping on

>> No.26906618

>Hey Galacta, why don't you suck on THESE globes?

We need to get control of our archives.

>> No.26906628

Most likely 8pm tomorrow.

>> No.26906629

that is a real dick move
makes it look like we are being quite lewd

>> No.26906636

If you're asking who is the God of Everything, that would be The One Above All.

>> No.26906645

...this is the question, yes. (and also why she's non-canon as fuck.)

But either she goes or daddy goes. It's possible after however many cycles of the universe being extinguished and reborn, he's getting too old for this shit. Plus, some goddamn mortals found a way to beat him that one time. Maybe it's best he hands things off to someone else.

...though honestly this iteration of the universe was a pain in the ass from the word go, seriously, if you think the X-Factor is annoying when expressed genetically you haven't seen what it does to superstrings.

Which nobody ever has, because guess whose job it was to erase, also eat that shit.

>> No.26906648

I bet you never thought this would happen.
Thanks for hosting dude.

>> No.26906659

Hey, I'm not the one talking about banging Galactus' daughter and getting her pregnant.
In fact, I meant for you to pick a fellow classmate, or at least a mutant.
You have brought this upon yourselves.
The way out now is through.

>> No.26906672

Thorton is represented best by that prick RRRRIIIICHHAAAAAAAAAARDS.

Doom is Marburg.

>> No.26906678

And we shall ride it down burning into the ground

>> No.26906688

Better call in the heavy duty.
How likely is it we can complete that goal anyway?

>> No.26906700

Well it depends

>> No.26906708

But Thorton isn't a prick, he's Manipulative as FUCK. He's so manipulative, he doesn't actually HAVE a personality. It's all part of a- wait a second...

>> No.26906721

let me put it like this: you are attempting to knock up the principle of entropy's daughter using power gifted by her daddy.

the odds of this ending in something other than her inadvertently murdering you are slim, and the subset of those odds that don't involve her father deliberately murdering you are slimmer.

>> No.26906734

What if we get his power overwritten by her gifting?

>> No.26906749

But if we succeed we shall go down in history
Logan will nod at us in respect

>> No.26906751

hi, I would like to introduce you to Reed Richards, Captain Von "Psychohistory Is Totally A Real Thing You Guys, Look The Math Says We Can Throw Hulk Into Space And There Will Probably Be No Consequences."

dude's personality is based entirely on getting his precious SCIENCE done in peace.

>> No.26906820

So? Thorton wouldn't fire Hulk into space. He'd just "Befriend" Hulk, and convince him to become bros with Steven Heck. Then bomb an embassy. Somehow for the greater good.

>> No.26906934

>this entire quest
oh god what the fuck?

>> No.26906959


>> No.26907017

I had a plan.
But nooooo.
You all wanted Cosmic prom, for no other reason than "this guy posted it as a joke, let's all agree".
So I gave them Cosmic prom.

>> No.26907036


>> No.26907051

and it is glourious
Now we are a badass who can probably bro it up with all the cool characters as we are alot more harder to kill

>> No.26907056

What was the plan Chairman?

>> No.26907116

Theres only like 9

>> No.26907119

For y'all to make a reasonable choice.
Oh, trust me, you are nowhere near a badass. You just got the blue-Silver-Surfer look, a cut body, and you can mask yourself from more than one sense.
Nothing else has changed.

>> No.26907126

>For y'all to make a reasonable choice.
This is a reasonable choice.
Galacta is the best.

>> No.26907139

>reasonable choice

>> No.26907152

We'd make a top notch assassin though.

>> No.26907154

>For y'all to make a reasonable choice
>Reasonable choice
You don't DM much do you?

>> No.26907167

But that makes us look important
thus less likley to die

>> No.26907173

Man have you seen this chick?

Like yeah Storm is cool and all but DAYUM

It would be unreasonable to choose anything else.

>> No.26907180

>look important
>less likely to die
pick one

>> No.26907198

dude one time i had to write a mastrubation scene with guy feiri as the thing the dude was jerking it to

>> No.26907201

Plot importance = more likely to live
Setting importance = more likely to die

>> No.26907206

But Jean Grey looks important, and all she does is die or become an unstoppable superbitch. Then die. Her corpse is picked up with the trash on Tuesdays.

>> No.26907212

that's a hard one

>> No.26907301

That's interesting. But not relevant. Why? Because despite what the archive says, this isn't an ERP.
Actually, let's get this out now: if Anon is charming enough for it, I will fade to black. That's all you get.

>> No.26907314

You grand motherfucker

>> No.26907334

>Fade to black
>Actually have sex

As if we'd take advantage of a young, innocent, can blow up planets, demigod girl in that manner! Disgusting! Let's just have fun as friends instead!

>> No.26907356

We need a way for her to become pregnant though, she is in the series after all.

>> No.26907358

Can we trick Doom into making a female clone of himself?

>> No.26907409

No, that trick only works once on every challenge. He keeps a scrapbook full of things people challenged him to do as proof now.

Now LOKI we could probably trick into becoming our date. He hasn't got very high standards after all. *COUGH*Sleipnir*COUGH

>> No.26907433

Can we trick Doom into letting us bang Valeria?

>> No.26907446

Man now I want to run one of these

"Hey doom I bet you can't make a female clone of yourself"
and loki is the town bicycle
everyone has had a piece of his pie

>> No.26907461


Well, he did hijack his step-brother's wife's body for a while.
And is currently possessing the teenage body of his re-incarnation.
But he's struggling with his morality, last I saw. Now might not be the best time to meddle with him.

Val is 3 you idiot. Unless you mean Future!Val. Who is a bit more uppity than even her Uncle Doom was.

>> No.26907467

See, you think I'm kidding.
I follow Bleach Quest, and I refuse to bend over backwards for a bunch of people just trying to vicariously get their dicks wet. As much as I respect him for rolling with it and writing a good story, Cosgrove made that mistake in the very beginning by letting Ichigo have two girlfriends, with more on the horizon.
Indulging the urge only makes it stronger. And /tg/ can't even handle having a prom date, then they won't have one.

>> No.26907495

>See, you think I'm kidding.
I don't, I want us only to date Galacta.

>> No.26907496

And I respect you for that
But now I am imaging the possibilities of what could have been
and I am sad

>> No.26907501

/tg/ talks a big game now but when you put the world-eating girl in front of them with her father looking over their shoulder they'll kick the whiteknighting into high gear on the road to zero-body-contact slowdancing and a goodnight hug

>> No.26907556

>Val is 3 you idiot.

>> No.26907557

Won't they be surprised when Galacta's "Cosmic Hunger" kicks in. With Galactus giving tips through telepathy. And then Doctor Doom breaks in to try and steal the Power Cosmic again.

>> No.26907586

well last X men prom ended in 5 deaths ten injuries
so lets try and break the record shall we

>> No.26907592

>they'll kick the whiteknighting into high gear on the road to zero-body-contact slowdancing and a goodnight hug
You underestimate /tg/.

She's pretty easy to feed, we could ask Logan for some help on that one.
>And then Doctor Doom breaks in to try and steal the Power Cosmic again.
"What a strange addition to the Prom yet again Anon, planning on inviting Galactus himself next?"

>> No.26907594

Manhattan destroyed again? Or shall we pick a more exotic locale, like Wisconsin. All of Wisconsin.

>> No.26907599

I wish I was in Limbo with my goat waifu right now.

>> No.26907613

>the music is too loud
>it is too dark
>I wish I was in limbo
>my hooves hurt

>> No.26907619

then deadpool breaks in for some reason
along with thanos because fuck deadpool

Do you think twenty large pizzas with everything on them with sate her for a minute or two

>> No.26907623

Or perhaps Florida
we may even get a medal for it

>> No.26907630


Kansas is a non-thing in the Marvel Universe. Only served as a setting for the virtual reality Genesis grew up in.
Lets blow the fuck out of that. Sure, we'd lose two major airline corporations and a hefty supply of wheat and beef.
But I'm sure we can use SUPER SCIENCE to replace them.

>> No.26907634

>Do you think twenty large pizzas with everything on them with sate her for a minute or two
No I mean, literally eating logan.

>> No.26907638

Unlikely, as eating hundreds of millions of alien clones didn't even take the edge off.

>> No.26907655

doctor doom could help with this
challenge him to clone logan
have them fight
feed the loser to cosmic wafiu

>> No.26907673

Clone Logan loses, then punches his way out Galacta's nose. Then Ultron attacks for no reason, he was just bored.

>> No.26907693

I think Ultron is dead at the moment.

>> No.26907694

best prom ever

>> No.26907707

so is Xavier

>> No.26907732

Marvel Teens need to stop having proms.
they don't end very well.
The Runaways didn't go very smoothly either.
Remarkably, the Avenger Academy kids managed to throw one with no fatalities.

>> No.26907733


Ultron's kids all show up. All of them. Victor, Jocasta, Vision, even the dead ones.
Pym has to awkwardly chaperone his "grandkids" while trying to find a psychic-proof broom closet to fuck Tigra in.

>> No.26907742

good point.
but I guess this happens when all the X Girls are still teenagers, so we can just ignore the deaths.

>> No.26907760


>> No.26907782

wasn't Jocasta his wife?

>> No.26907813


Genetically his great uncle.
But a Skrull provided Pym's DNA (really more of a down-payment on all the genetic samples Hank would later provide).
And the mentioned the time-travelling soul re-incarnation.

Then again, Wiccan IS dating a Kree/Skrull hybrid. So whatever.

Wife/Daughter who later dated Hank Pym.
Pym built Ultron (under extreme mental instability), Ultron built Jocasta as a mate.
But he also built Vision, and that's treated as a father-son relationship.
It's all very confusing.

>> No.26907816

Fucked if I know. All I know is that Pym alternates being batshit insane, oops-I-caused-the-apocalypse, to "Hey guys! Wanna go bowling?"

And then there was that time he figured out how to trigger the apocalypse using bowling...

>> No.26907846

He built her to be his wife, but it backfired masterfully, while the father can only build crazy robot children, the crazy robot children can only build sane robot children

>> No.26907853


Odd how Pym seems to be a fairly accurate representation of the symptoms of bi-polar disorder.
Depressive with extreme emotional breakdowns, inferiority complexes, and building doomsday shit to show people he's important.

>> No.26907868

Can we make a pym family tree i would do it but i don't know enongh about the family

>> No.26907898


At one point Ultron upgraded to have emotions and became a good guy.
He was called "Mark" (because of Ultron Mk15) and was actually a very obedient son.
Then Mk14 shut him down because of the still-unresolved hatred of humanity and vowed never to adapt emotions again.

>> No.26907913

well during this incident, he was literally insane.
science chemicals fucked with his brain, hard. He literally wasn't Hank Pym anymore.

>> No.26907975

>he's dead and replaced by a black dude
At least he's not SpOck.

>> No.26908019

ANYTHING is better than SpOck

This includes spiderham and the short-lived manspider

>> No.26908049

>Now we are a badass who can probably bro it up with all the cool characters as we are alot more harder to kill
This is everything wrong with quests

>> No.26908085

You. I like you.

>> No.26908108

Pym has quite the extended family.

>> No.26908116

He's got nothing on the Summers.

>> No.26908119


>> No.26908148


Scott, Rachel, Nathan (Cable), Havok, Nathan (X-Man).
Jean, Emma, and Madolynn through Scott.
Polaris through Alex.
Who am I forgetting?

>> No.26908155

Havok and Polaris almost got hitched, which would have brought together the Pyms, the Maximoffs, and the Greys.
shit is cray

>> No.26908172

Cable's daughter, Hope Summers.

>> No.26908187

good luck, /tg/

>> No.26908189


Dammit. Forgot her.
Probably throw in the surviving Lights as well.
Which isn't much. Three people if Idie doesn't count.

>> No.26908194

I think he has them on spread.
Hanks got people in the runaways, avengers, young avenger, avengers academy, X-men and A.R.M.O.R.

>> No.26908221

wait shit this means that
through polaris, then vision. The summers, maxoffs, greys and hanks family are all one

>> No.26908222

here are the Summers/Greys.

>> No.26908241

There's also implication that they're also related to Reed Richards.

>> No.26908262


>> No.26908275

Where does Squirrel Girl figure in this?

>> No.26908277

Nathaniel Richards is implied to be Nathaniel Summers.

>> No.26908281


And Pietro is/was married to one of the alien races.
And those races get EXTREMELY mixed-blood.

Turns out the most famous gay-teen couple might be distant cousins via-eighteen marriages.

>> No.26908295


Good lord.
I guess RIGHT runs in the family.

>> No.26908308

So Cable is a bastard?

>> No.26908310

Pietro was married to Crystal of the Inhumans, and had a daughter, Luna.
They were divorced years ago.
she married Ronan the Accuser, a kree, and were subsequently, divorced.
And no, the Inhumans greatly stay within their own kind. Crystal doing that twice is odd to say the least.

>> No.26908327

Most of them are bastards in one sense of the word or another, so sure.

>> No.26908348

What's the point of misarchiving?

>> No.26908354

Don't forget frost you guys
Ruby summers and the three and one are all in this clusterfuck too

>> No.26908358

Well, I mean, it sounds like he is the offspring of Reed and Jean now. What would make Reed unfaithful?

>> No.26908370

"The three and one"?

>> No.26908372

Could have been cloning.

>> No.26908379

>Reed unfaithful
well considering Sue has been whoring around for decades at this point, I think it is only fair that Rich can get some outside attention.

>> No.26908394

S/He gets off on it? S/He thinks it pisses people off?

>> No.26908399

To be fair, Reed is like the worst husband ever, his neglect is more abusive than all the slaps Pym has ever delivered.

>> No.26908403

Stepford Cuckoos.
clone triplets from Emma Frost.

>> No.26908420

technically they were quintuples but two of them have been lost over the years

>> No.26908426

They're fun.

>> No.26908435

not to mention that Pym actually feels remorse for that stuff shitty writers had him do.
Reed is just a douche.

>> No.26908446

I decided not to mention the dead ones to simplify for the anon.

>> No.26908462

Well, it doesn't take much for him to be more abusive than one slap.

>> No.26908464

My friend swore for fucking years that Reed was evil and they made it canon during Civil War.

>> No.26908472

Maybe its fun?

>> No.26908485

Nathanial Richards is Reed's dad.
Franklin is Reed's son.

Ultimate is not 616. Reed can get sidetracked, but lately he's at least aware enough to live happily with his faithful wife and two children.

I thought there were hundreds, but only 5 initially survived. Then 2 dropped off, leaving 3 at the moment.

One slap while under a clinical emotional breakdown after years of receiving emotional abuse from the nagging harpy.

>> No.26908496

well Ultimate Universe Reed is evil as fuck.
normal Reed is just an uncaring douche.
and I didn't want to put myself through reading the entirety of Civil War because it is a really shitty event, so I dunno.

>> No.26908509

That's like the last year or two ago, before that, he was a negligent prick.

>> No.26908519

Jan was a total bitch, and deserved it.
of course, Pym was literally insane at the time so it was justifiable. not to mention that it shouldn't have happened in the first place. It was an artist mistake that misunderstood the page direction.

>> No.26908572

don't feel too bad.
she got what was coming to her.

>> No.26908613

I am currently working on mapping out this horseshit

>> No.26908622

What do you mean?

>> No.26908637

there are potentially thousands of eggs, but only 5 were grown. and yes, two have been killed.

>> No.26908654

MS paint family tree

>> No.26908666

Ultimatum was a shitburger and even she didn't deserve that. No, she got disintegrated by Thor, because the Skrulls fucked her growth power up.

Thor was not happy. The Skrulls were incapable of dealing with an unhappy Thor, which isn't saying much, most people aren't capable of handling an unhappy Thor.

>> No.26908682

That's from the ultimates storyline.

its almost not canon as far as I'm concerned.

>> No.26908698

of course it is from Ultimates.
still doesn't mean it isn't hilarious that it actually happened.

>> No.26908715

This is why you don't let suicidal depressives write your major events.

>> No.26908753

How do you know the disorders he had?

>> No.26908783

I didn't get into prym family becuase i didn't know it well enough

>> No.26908793


Was ultimatum right after Sam Loeb died?
That just seems like poor taste in general.
>HEY, Jeffy! We know your kid just died and all. But we happen to be in the business of desicrating memories. How'd you like to write an event set in our offshoot universe? You're free to do anything the editorial mandates.
>Also, it's in your contract so you have to anyway.
>GREAT! Have fun. And remember, it's your sandbox to do whatever you feel like. So long as we approve.

>> No.26908799

Because it's clear as goddamn day when you look at his work.

>> No.26908835

so, Hank Pym was married to Janet Van Dyne, and (technically) had a child with Tigra, Pym created Ultron, Ultron created Vision and Victor Mancha

>> No.26908869


And Jocasta.
And Billy is dating a Kree/Skrull hybrid. Who is the son of Mar-Vel. Who gave Miss Marvel her powers, and has two or three other kids of reasonable import.

>> No.26908881

What about Cassie from YA

>> No.26908891

bastard son of Mar-Vel.
He is half skrull which gets into a whole other genetic shit thing.

>> No.26908907

what about Cassie?
she was a Lang, not a Pym.
you are thinking of one of the other Ant-Men.

>> No.26908923

and yet she is still on here becuase she was with the second vision

>> No.26908940

Actually, I think Teddy and Billy just broke up, but I haven't been following YA that closely.

>> No.26908947

ah, I misunderstood.

>> No.26908955


She was dating Kid Vision.
And at one point I think Iron Lad, who becomes Kang the Conqueror.

>> No.26909021

No you got it right, i though she was a pym

>> No.26909032

Phyla-Vell to Moondragon to Drax
What about Genis? Did he sire any unholy Kree offspring?

>> No.26909106

Okay i think this it is

>> No.26909212

Man, this is like some Harry Potter shit. Tracing the family ties n shit.

>> No.26909444

actually Valeria is closer to like 9-10 now i think

>Tfw no more Doomquest

>> No.26909464


I thought she was 2 at the end of Hickman's run. Just a super-genious and poorly drawn.
I guess I'm mistaken.

>> No.26909635

she really doesn't look two anymore seriously if anything she looks anywhere between 9-12

>> No.26909637

This looks... interesting.
It'll be fine. I have faith.
It only /completely/ gets out of control when Lesbian pairings are involved.

>> No.26909703

That artist has no fucking idea how angles work.

>> No.26909755

How did he get it wrong? I see something is wrong, but not what. I am no artist.

>> No.26909792

Jonny's chin, Susan's lips and eyes in the fourth panel.

>> No.26909835

You're reading it backwards. That is the second panel. Yeah, her face bits are way off.

>> No.26909870

in the second one its a comic not a manga

>> No.26909892


Wait, hue. Second, the first registered as three separate ones in my mind for some reason.
I totally did get confused initially though, FUCK. I need to get back into comics but it's much harder to get into than Manga cause everything reboots and resets and restarts all the time with no rhyme or reason.

>> No.26909935

Thats why I just read stuff like The Goon and King City.

>> No.26909964

> trying to get into DC or Marvel main continuities at this point
Eek. I just read the really old stuff slowly.

>> No.26909978

Here's the nice/bad thing about DC/Marvel: it doesn't fucking matter, because it will be forgotten by the time the next arc starts up ~90% of the time.

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